Latest Posts by ferroxfluidgargoyle - Page 3

✨Praying to you, God✨

5: The Lock-Hart

A monster from a story I’ve been tossing around - a deer-like thing that catches children and keeps them in the cage of antlers on its head

"bears repeating" and "time flies" are two kinds of creatures that fill similar ecological niches

Ways to refluff Vicious Mockery

You say something so utterly confusing the person takes psychic damage trying to figure out what the hell you're on about.

Call your opponent on the phone, which as we all know does irreparable psychological damage

A really scary story told really fast

You say a meme so dank it shuts down the listener's heart, like a focus-group-ran zoomer remake of Monty Python.

One of those needlessly mean songs they sing about people in disney movies.

UWU YOUR FOES TO DEATH! NYAAAAAA!

You say something so nice your enemy realizes they're the asshole here and does themselves psychic damage as an apology.

Tell your opponent you love them and cause deadly levels of social awkwardness.

Literally red-hot take about Steven Universe.

Gerrymander your opponent's vital biological functions.

Mumble something really quietly and when they come closer to hear it better you punch them in the face

Just read out the last thing Elon Musk said.

Ok, hear me out...Gun Mouth?

it’s exhausting :(

looking at wikipedias list of obsolete jobs and dreaming of a better life

radio is kind of wild really, the first thing we did after discovering an ethereal field that permeates the universe is infuse it with music.

death will not do us part you stupid cunt

"Billow me harder"

- our barbarian with a magical cloak of billowing after successfully seducing the vice mayor with a nat 20

Later: “My cloak doesn’t billow anymore, it’s limp”

Hey

"you are not IN the Universe, you ARE the Universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person, but a focal point where the Universe is becoming concious of itself." - Eckhart Tolle

what's the matter honey? you've hardly touched your fleeting experience of time on earth

Artwork by: Mark Fielding

I think Joan of Arc's fursona would be a dog called Joan of Bark, but my partner thinks it would be a phoenix, which seems insensitive to me, but neither of us are furries, so I guess we don't really get a say either way.

I’ve been making gay knights (and ladies) collages on my phone at work

(Part two)

Summon kitten.

It doesn’t do anything mechanically speaking, but it makes a little mewing noise and watches with big wide eyes as an army of hobgoblins stab you 4,000,000,000 times.

Dicranurus monstrosus - odontopleurid trilobite that lived in a shallow sea that lay between Euramerica and Gondwana, corresponding to modern-day Oklahoma and New York, and Morocco, respectively. As such, their fossils are found in New York, Oklahoma, and Morocco - average size of fossil is 2″ long - Lower to Middle Devonian - 380 million years ago

Tbh I assume everyone on here is lgbtq+ if you’re straight you’ll have to come out to me

Little work in progress shot of an angel I'm working on.

2020 isn’t all bad

i hope this doesn’t sound really weird but i feel really bad for the lady who came up with gender reveal parties. she had a very legitimate reason for throwing herself one–she’d had a few miscarriages, all of them miscarrying before she was able to find out the sex of her baby and due to really wanting to have children she was distraught, so when her pregnancy made it to the milestone of being able to find out her baby’s sex, she was understandably incredibly excited and threw a party to celebrate it. honestly she had every right to do so and was more celebrating the fact that she’d carried her baby to that point rather than celebrating if it was a girl or a boy

and now she’s the inventor of this horrible thing that makes stupid people cause wildfires. all this lady wanted to do was have some cake and celebrate her pregnancy after a few miscarriages. i feel fucking terrible for her. 

Addicted to target dot com bootleg Audrey 2s.

God, Tolkien naming his book “The Hobbit” was such a big dick move. Like, back then people didn’t know what a hobbit was. It’d be like if I released a book called “The Smarple” and 50 years later everyone just knew what a smarple was.

ADHD is only motivated by 5 things: -urgency -challenge -novelty and play -interest -being a contrarian little bitch