Latest Posts by manumagic11 - Page 4

Saying "anything is possible" is an understatement.

by Being_is_IT / Twitter

Q: Because it is dream-like, anything is possible. So there’s no actual problems, right?

A: Yes, anything or any situation is possible. There is no actual restriction or limit. But it seems to the Mind that there are full of restrictions and limits. Yes, no actual problems, but just like in a dream, there seems to be full of problems. This is the magic that only SELF can appreciate. Saying "anything is possible" is an understatement.

Human language can't describe this magic. It's infinitely more magical than you can ever imagine. It is so magical that it can appear to have no magic. It's so magical that insubstantiality can appear substantial.

It's so magical that space-less and timeless can appear as space and time. It's so magical that absolute perfection can appear as if it is imperfect. That's how magic works. The Mind complains that there is no freedom.

But this is exactly how unconditional freedom appears to be. So, "feeling in bondage" is indeed an illusion projected by the Mind. The Mind complains that everything is hard and solid and there are so many hardships to overcome in life. Although such feelings of hardships may appear to be very obvious, it is an illusion projected by the Mind. This is exactly how the magic functions, illusions always appear very real.

Otherwise, illusion won't be illusion. If you don't get what I am talking about, just remind yourself how real a dream plotline feels until it pops. Through continuous noticing, your innate sensitivity will automatically increase, there will come a moment you will discover this magic while the current plotline seemingly continuing to proceed.

not my prodigal ass returning

♡ 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐬 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐧 || 𝐉.𝐘𝐇 ♡

【Synopsis】 : a new book shop had opened on the block, and a certain marfia leader was interested in the sweet little owner.

『Word count』 : 9.01k

-> Genre: Mafia. Smut. Romance.

Pairing: Perv!MobBoss!Yunho! X Librarian!Reader

[Warnings] : Pervy Yunho. Like I mean this man is so horny for the reader it's crazy. Really shameless flirting and a lot of flustered most likely cringe moments but it's fine… I promise. Mention of criminal activity. Yunho is a classy criminal, what can I say. Swearing. Tension. Inappropriate thoughts. Strangers to Lovers?? Domestic play. These two already act like an old married couple, confirmed. Making out, oral(f). Fingering. Edging. Dirty talk. Unprotected sex.

Author note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DARLING YAYA!! I hope you enjoy this little treat. This is plot heavy. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I had such bad word vomit. May or may not end up writing another part, we’ll see ahh. Ah, i love you ♡ @skteezcursed ♡

Also this is not beta read so please be mindful of any mistakes ♡

Networks: @atzhouse @wonderlandnet @illusionnet @cromernet

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“I’m just saying why can’t you get one of the field boys to do it. You got a meeting in thirty, and I don’t see how explaining to them you were ‘out for an errand’ will solve your tardiness.” The driver scoffed yet again as he took the next right towards the new shop that had just opened a few weeks ago in town. A little book shop. There hadn’t been a proper book shop in this part of the city in years, and Yunho was immediately interested in it.

“Like I said, I want to see this place for myself. I don’t need one of those knuckleheads barging in like they own the place. And none of those bozos will ever say a word. I could be a day late, and they’ll all pretend they were just early.” Yunho rolls his eyes, taking a sip of his whiskey. He felt tired just thinking about that meeting. The one he’s been putting off for months. “Stop here.”

San sighed in defeat before taking a spot on the busy road. No one seemed to bat an eye as a black Chevy Suburban rolled up, but then again, most people on this side of town knew exactly who the car belonged to. “Meet me back here in twenty. Go grab us a coffee or something.”

“Wait but, Sir. You can't just—” Yunho slammed the door to the car. “Leave…”

-

The little bell on the top of the door rang cutely as Yunho entered the quiet establishment. There was barely anyone in here, if not no one at all. Perfect. He thought, given he wanted to be able to meet you in peace. And there you were, casually placing books in their rightful places on the shelves. You are wearing a cute sundress with an apron over it. There’s a little sun pattern all over the fabric, making it match with the pastel yellow ribbon in your hair. You were the most beautiful thing Yunho had ever laid eyes on. And the first time he noticed you were in the cafe, a few shops down. You bought a hot chocolate and a blueberry muffin. He still remembers the smile on your face when you took that first sip, getting a little foam moustache as a result.

He wanted nothing more than to kiss your sweet face then and there. So naturally, he looked you up. Finding out you had opened up this vintage-urban store. You had moved from outta town, but no one knew where, and your family and history was a mystery. Even to him and his beast detectives. You were no one. And that made you even more interesting. “Come on..just..g-go.”

You were on your tip toes trying to reach the top shelf to put a book back but you being forgetful, left the stool in the back closet and you had decided it was too much of an effort to go back and get it now. You jumping was what you resorted to. You looked like a rabbit in Yunho’s eyes. A sweet little rabbit that’s breast bounced perfectly with every hop. The scrunch in your nose and little tongue poking made him wonder what your face would look like if when you were fucked just right.

His feet moved swiftly until he was flush behind up. You felt his broad chest before you heard him as he softly grabbed the book from your delicate fingers and placed it where it needed to be on the shelf. But what ultimately caught your attention was his smooth voice. “Looked like you needed some help, doll.”

Oh right then and there you felt your life was about to change very dramatically and oh, how it did excite you. “T-thanks.”

“Anytime.” His deep voice spilled in your ears like butter, and his cologne danced around you making the outside world cease to exist. He was walking sex on legs, something out of a dark romance novel and you knew exactly who he was. “So, have you got any book suggestions?”

Your smile grew when he asked the question but Yunho was cringing inside. That was really the best he could do. He’s been watching you for weeks and that was all he could mutter up. You on the other hand, chirped, plodding off deeper into the store. Yunho followed as he watched you scanning the shelves, your fingers tracing the spines of multiple books as you passed them, your mouth quivering out the titles of each one. “Here we go!” You grabbed a black book off the shelf. It had a red misty design all around it with bold white lettering in the centre. It looks magical, like you. “This is one of my favourites. But be warned, it’s a lot of info dumping at the start. But the ending is worth it.”

“Thanks doll. What is it about?” Yunho’s smile makes your heart shake, your fingers grazing his as you hand him the book. Your throat became dry, unable to think of the right words to describe the novel…”Oh it's fantasy…”

You snapped out of your brain as you see the man scanning the blurb on the back, his smile growing into a sly smirk as he read some of the words, Romantic, erudite and suspenseful. You put your jittering hands in the pockets of your apron as you tried your best not to blush. “Y-yeah.. yes. I. It's really good. It’s got witches and vampires, all sorts of creatures.”

Your little ramble caused Yunho to smile ear to ear. The way your face slowly lit up the more you spoke about it, the dramatic movements of your hands as you used them to further express your emotion. He had come to the conclusion you were the cutest thing on the planet. And he would do anything to protect that. “Well I’ll definitely give it a read, sunshine.”

Your like deepened the shade of pink upon hearing the cute nickname that slipped from the tall man. You felt like your legs were slowly turning to jelly at the thought not only was he hot as all fuck, but he was in fact a reader, like you. “T-Tell me what you think when you finish it.”

“I shall.” His remark was quick, the smirk making your heart race. When was he this close to you? Was he always this close to the point you can smell his cologne mixing with the whiskey on his breath. You gulped, watching his eyes scan from your eyes to your lips, before letting his own by swiping his tongue across his bottom lip. “I needed to speak with you about something as well.”

His deep authorial voice rattled in your mind, suddenly shaking you from your fantasy, making you remind yourself who exactly was standing in front of you. You nodded with a small ‘of course’ before walking towards the front counter. Yunho followed you as he spoke, “I’m assuming you know who I am…” his throat felt dry at his own words.

“Everybody knows who you are, Mr Jeong.” Your words seemed flattened, almost worried. In truth you were scared, but the murmurs that circled when you first entered the city was not something you took lightly. The cruelness people spoke off. The ruthless man known as the Viper. Mr Jeong Yunho. Too young to be a mafia lord, yet here he stood, powerful, feared and wealthy. “I suppose you were here originally for business then...”

Yunho watched as you took out the logs of the shop, no longer making eye contact with him. Of course you knew who he was, why was he so stupid in thinking he could pretend for one single moment to be someone else. To be a normal guy that could sway the sweet sunflower that owns the book shop. A fantasy, he thought, one that won't come true. “I protect these shops on this street. And I was wondering if you would be interested in getting into the same agreement.” he bit his tongue, trying his best to be professional.

“And what do I have to do to get this sort of treatment…” Your hands were shaking more than you’d like them too, not wishing to look into his cold eyes. But his eyes weren't cold, in fact they were swimming in conflict. He didn’t need anything from you, just like the other shops. No, he protected people that needed it and in return he asked for their favour. Nothing more nothing less. But he didn’t want a favour from you. No he just wanted…

“A smile.” Yunho said sternly.

“W-what?” You finally looked up at him to see a soft smirk on his shaded pink features and then he replied again..

“I want you to smile.”

-

You couldn’t help but yearn for Yunho every time you opened your shop. Waiting for him to walk in through those doors like he did almost two weeks ago now. you still remember the butterflies in your tummy as he said his goodbye…

“Like that.” Your smile grew bigger as he stepped closer to the counter. “It suits you so much.” He picked up your hand gently before placing the softest kiss on your knuckles. You swore your heart stopped at that moment. “I’ll be seeing you, sunshine.”

And with that he left, leaving your blood rushing to your ears and a hefty tip on your counter.

“Hey, so do I sort the biographies by title or by author.” The young worker so reluctantly hired comes rushing in from the store room, his shirt on the wrong way and his laces barely tied… his mother had practically begged you to give him work since he was almost twenty-three and still without job experience. And now you can see why no one wanted to hire the poor thing. He wasn’t the brightest.

“Uh yeah. By author and make sure they are put in the end row by the nonfiction section, please.” You pinched the bridge of your nose as you watched him stumble away to the back of the shop, his laces making him side step.

And then you heard a crash. Followed by a quick, “I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?” You felt like you needed to ask.

The young boy rounded the shelf, looking back at you with a face as bright of a pink as the poor flowers he was holding. He had broken another vase... perfect.

“Just put it in the back.” You scratched your chin sighing as he repeated over and over ‘I’m sorry’ while cleaning up the what you’d count as the fourth vase filled with flowers. You shook your head, looking back at the receipt logbook again, going over all the money you’d have made since opening. It was surprising, to say the least, the amount of people that have purchased or borrowed books in such little time made you giddy. You felt a sense of accomplishment at the idea people were reading. The sound of the doorbell chimed, shifting your attention to a possible new customer. “Hello, how can I help…”

“Hey Sunshine.” Yunho’s face beamed with happiness upon seeing you. His casual wear catches you off guard. He almost looked normal and not some big bad mob boss who could get away with your murder. “I’ve read your book.”

“Y-yunho.” You perked, closing the logs before quickly rounding the front desk until you were almost inches from him. Close enough to smell his gorgeous cologne. “That didn’t take you long…”

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, reminding himself he had spent hours reading the book when he should have been working. But who was going to yell at him for it anyway? No, he needed to finish the book quickly so he could have something to talk about. “No, I fell in love with it on page one. And besides, the quicker I read it. The quicker I could come back here and ask you for another.”

Your face blushed as he took a step closer. You gulp at the proximity, practically feeling his body heat. His on hand leaning on the counter behind you, closing the distance. "D-do, you have any in mind..."

Yunho watched your eyes flutter close, taking in his aura. He couldn't help but smirk at how much he affected you. Infecting your perfect little innocent act, because from what he read in that novel, he knew you were the sunshine he depicted you as, no, there was a dark streak inside you, and he wanted desperately to draw it out. "I was curious if you got something more spicy. Hmm."

"S-spicy!?" You gasp, opening your eyes to gaze into Yunho deep ones, his pupils blown out, almost consuming all the chocolate in his eyes. His smile only grew, placing his other hand on the other side of your body, now trapping you between his large body and the counter.

"Oh, I know you've got ideas, baby. That book wasn't as innocent as you remember, hm." The tilt in his head made you dizzy. His face inches from yours. If you wanted, you would only need to move an inch to close the gap. To finally feel those lips you'd been dreaming about for the past couple of weeks.

"I could give you some suggestions..." You whispered your breath, mixing with his. Yunho bit his bottom lip, inching closer and closer until his lips graze yours and just enough to—

"I think I lost the log book again in the...." The young boy, frozen, almost dropping some of the books that he held tightly in his hand. Yunho sighs, reluctantly pulling away slowly. You looked down at your feet, feeling like your heart was going to jump right out of your chest. "S-sorry."

"It's okay, George. Just.. Did you leave it on the desk in the back again?" You answered the poor boys' question, making his face light up with cringe. He muttered to himself before scurrying off towards the back room. You look back at the man still caging you against the counter, but his gaze was elsewhere. On the young boy, in fact. Yunho could explain it, but he knows that kid. He's seen him somewhere. His face is so familiar yet lost. "Are you okay?"

Your little murmur caught the mob boss's attention, turning his attention to you once again. He cleared his throat before standing up straight, almost making himself bigger than normal. His gaze still flickered to where the back room was. His gut told him something was wrong, but he couldn't figure out what. "Yeah, don't worry, sunshine." He finally looked back at you, gifting you one of his award winning smiles, "I'm good."

"Well. I should be getting back to work." You felt a slight twinge of embarrassment circle in your tummy. Getting caught in the arms of a man like Yunho but being caught almost kissing him. That was a scandal and a half. Argh, you can practically hear all the old bettys in the street gossiping already. You go to turn away from him, but his hand grips your upper arm, swinging you into his chest. His free hand grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him.

"Let me take you out." He smirked.

"A date?" You questioned.

"Yes. I like you, sunshine. If that wasn't obvious enough." He could see your ears start to turn pink as you tried to look everywhere else. Your heartbeat was ringing in your ears, feeling an overwhelming sense of every emotion under the sun. He leaned closer until his lips grazed your ear, whispering, "Think about it. I'll come back Friday afternoon before you close, and you can tell me your answer."

He lightly kissed your cheek before letting you go, walking out another thought. You just stood there, shocked, thrilled and absolutely terrified.

"You can't go."

"What?" You knitted your brow as you turned to George standing in one of the aisles. He jumped, changing his expression from a plan and cold expression to one of bewilderment.

"Uh, what I mean is you shouldn't. He's not a good man." You can see his grip on the books tighten as he grits his teeth. Your expression stayed the same as you turned your back to him, opening the logbook to where you were before.

"I know who he is." Your words were cold, blunt, almost shocking the young man. He was taken aback, to say the least, but then again, he expected your response. In fact, he hoped for it.

-

Through the following days, you found yourself staring at the clock, waiting, begging for the day to end. You wished desperately for it to be Friday every time you woke up. It was finally Thursday when your craving died a little. An old lady had come in to return a few books, and she had said a fine looking man had asked her to give you a piece of paper. A letter. To say your heart nearly jumped through your throat would have been an understatement. "Hey, George. I need to do some paperwork, watch the store."

"You've never let me work the regis—." You didn't even let the poor boy finish his statement as you sped off towards the back room. Your shaky fingers locked the door as quickly as possible before you practically jumped into the swivel chair. ‘Open it’ you told yourself ‘it has to be from Yunho’. Your smile only grew bigger at the voice singing in your head. You open the paper and see it's written in the most beautiful hand writing you've ever seen. It read;

To my sunshine,

Even though our interactions have been brief, I have to confess that crossing paths in your bookshop was not the first time I've noticed your beautiful presence. I first saw you in the cafe, three shops down. The way you were lost in your book while sipping on your hot chocolate made me want to dive into your mind and see its wonders. Curious what could be lying within… You’ve been on my mind ever since. I have found I am unable to sleep at night without the thought of you. Call me old-fashioned with this letter, but I needed to get this off my chest without blabbering like a fool in front of you. I can't wait for our date tomorrow that I know you’ll say yes to. But until then. A gift…

You look at the bottom of the page and note there is a phone number. If the confession of love wasn't enough, him giving you his number was certainly going to kill you. You had already planned to say yes to his date but now an idea sparked in your mind. In truth, you have found feelings towards Yunho, like you had been made for one another. No amount of time, whether little or long it was, you know your feeling would stay the same. So you wanted to take the reins for once, even if deep down you knew you wouldn't be able to hold them for long.

Sunshine// I got your letter. I want you here out the front by 6 pm, wear something casual.

You left no room for argument as you shut your phone off and held your head high. George’s expression of unpleasantness couldnt… wouldnt, stop you from the growing butterflies in your gut. You were finally going to be happy, and Yunho was the one going to give it to you.

-

You swore it wasn’t this cold yesterday afternoon, the keys almost sticking to your ice cold fingers. You checked the locks to the doors one final time before letting out a sigh of relief and nerves, ready to call it a night. “Well hello, Sunshine.”

You turned with a smile, seeing the man of the hour. He was wearing a less-fancy dress suit. No tie, or cuff links. You couldn't help but giggle. “I said casual wear Yun…”

“What do you mean love? This is casual.” He chuckled, taking two large steps to you, closing the gap. His hand snuck around your waist, squeezing the flesh on your hips. “Where are we off to tonight?”

“A surprise. So you’ll just have to trust me.” You giggle, your palm resting on his chest. You could feel his heart racing a million miles, yet he looked so composed. But then again in his field of ‘work’ he needed to show almost no signs of emotion.

“I’d trust you with my life.” Yunho had never used those words so lightly, but it was the truth. He couldn't explain it but he could easily lay his life down for you. You could crush it if you wished and he wouldn't say a thing. You blushed at his confession, reaching on your tiptoes you kiss the rugged man's cheek, before pulling away towards the street.

“I loved your letter by the way.” And with that you turned to start walking, letting Yunho trail after you like a love sick puppy.

“Just this way…” Yunho followed you curiously as you weaved through the streets. There were no restaurants or diners around in this area he knew of and given he owned half the city he should be aware of almost everything. So where on earth were you taking him? You turned your head over your shoulders spotting the confusion on his face, you couldn't help but giggle at his wide boba-like eyes. You outstretched your hand, waiting for him to take it. Yunho swore he felt his heart stop when he locked his fingers with yours. Yunho has never put this much trust in a person before and yet he has found himself being led by you through the front door of an apartment complex and up three flights of stairs before coming to a stop at a door that read 117. “I..”

All the words you had prepared to say had suddenly flown out the window as you slotted the key into the lock. Yunho’s smirk grew as he watched your brain scramble, finding enjoyment in watching you squirm. “And here I thought you had an innocent date planned. But my cheeky little sunshine just wanted me all to herself, hmm?”

“N-no!!” you whipped your head to his direction, leaning against the door with blush riddled on your cheeks. “I-i just wanted to make you a home cooked meal. I-i prefer cooking over going out.” You dipped your head to the ground feeling a little ashamed of your introvertedness. Bringing such a dangerous man home wasn't exactly the thought that crossed your brain when you thought of this evening. In truth you were only thinking about treating him to your cooking, something you took pride in. “I’m not very good with other people.”

He brought his hand to your chin, lifting your face up so he could look at you in the eyes. There was no judgement in his soft gaze, heck even his killer smirk was now only a small simple smile. “As long as I'm with you, we could be doing anything, besides…” He leaned down to give the side of your face a kiss before whispering, “I’m not one for crowds either.”

You gulped, nodding slightly as you turned back to open the door. Yunho’s gaze shifted from yours as soon as he heard the creek of the wood, finally getting a peek inside your little place you call home. Your place was riddled with a vintage, cottagey-like aesthetic. It was like Yunho had stumbled into a fairies hut that was hidden away in the woods.the smell of your salt lamp was strong but not as strong as the calming lavender. He felt like the air around him was giving him the warmest hug. Everything was soft, cute, and dainty… just like you. You lead him deeper into the apartment, letting him take the lead once you get to an archway. It led into the lounge room he found, spotting the emerald couch and various bookshelves encasing a tv cabinet. “Uh..I… make yourself at home, i just got to put away some things and i’ll start to prepare dinner.”

You scurried off before he had the chance to protest, not that he would have that is. He was almost scared to take a seat, his black on black attire completely stuck out to the surroundings. Slicked back hair, expensive accessories, shoes worth more than most of your furniture… He was so out of place. Taking a seat he felt himself sink into the cushions. He was being bombarded by plushies falling onto him as he shifted to get comfortable. Everything smelled like you, sweet, sugary, a hint of freshly baked goods and old books. He couldn’t help him, leaning down he brought his face to a blanket you use regularly when lounging on the couch. He took a deep inhale. ‘God help me’ he'd think to himself as his fingers tangled in the soft fabric, feeling his hips twitch at the thought of your scent round him. Paint him as a pervert, he didn't care, all he cared about in this moment was the feeling of you. Craving, begging to see if he could have you as more.

A loud clunk caught his attention, making him snap out of the haze clogging his mind. He’s never sat up quicker, swiftly moving towards the kitchen to only find you with a pot on the ground and the lid firmly in your hand as if you were using it as a shield. “Whoops…” was all you could mutter, feeling like your nerves had been shot from the loud noise. Yunho scooped up the pot, trying to see if you were okay only to see your face completely red. The same red as the tomatoes on the counter. “I can't stop my hands shaking,”

You tried to laugh it off lightly at how nervous you were with such a man like Yunho being in your house. You were starting to regret bringing him here and wishing you just sucked it up and took him to a restaurant instead. Yunho's free hand placed itself on your upper arm, gently rubbing up and down on your soft skin before giving the flesh a squeeze. He hadn't even realised you were dressed in something different, another sundress, but this one was black with lace accents on the hems. the ribbon holding up your hair matched it accordingly. “Hey It's okay. Just take a deep breath, baby.”

Him calling you all these pet names weren't helping but you obeyed him as best as you could nonetheless. “I just feel a little silly bringing you here. You know since we barely know one another and I don't want you to get the wrong impression…”

“And what kind of impression would you be giving me, hmm?” He didn't mean to come off as teasing but his deep tone caused him to always sound alluring.

“I..uh. That I wanted to just get you to my place to sleep with you. Cause that's not the reason i just really dont l-like—” you stopped rambling as soon as your eyes met Yunho’s. His dark blown out gaze causes your words to get caught in your throat.Yunho had put the pot down a while ago, his spine straight as he stepped closer. You instinctively took a step back and then another before your hips made contact with the counter. Yunho placed a foot on either side of yours and his hands on the marble behind you. You were caged.

"And what if that was the reason? Would it be so bad?" It was like his voice got deeper, more sultry as he took a deep grumbling breath, taking in the scent of your perfume and shampoo.

"I j-just don't want to ruin anything we could have." You whispered, your eyes fluttering close. But Yunho simply stared holes into your flesh, like he could see straight to your soul. This cute little thing in front of him wants more than a hookup? Wants to actually get to know him? He doesn't know if he had just won the jackpot, or this was, in fact, a cruel dream he hadn't woken up to yet.

"Trust me, darling. Nothing you can do will ruin anything between us..." he leaned down to your ear, "Even if it's sex."

You choked when you heard him groan that unruly word. Your hand clapping over your mouth to hide your gasp. Never in your life have you been put into a situation quite sultry as this one. The men you’ve dated were only stereotypical, self-centered or mama’s boys. Worse if they were all three. But Yunho was different. He is no gentleman but yet, if you asked for the moon he would do anything to give it to you. He is not a nice man but if someone were to hurt the old lady that runs the little shoe shop down the street he would not be afraid to kill the fucker who did her wrong. He is not a lover but he’d be damned if he didnt wife you up the moment he could. Yunho was different and that's why you had quickly fallen for the man even if those around you did not approve. “W-what if I were to ask for more tonight. Not just dinner…”

Yunho’s heart stopped, he was sure of it. His body moving closer his lips inches from your own, “I would give anything your pretty little heart desires… all you gotta say is, please.”

You opened your eyes to see his dark ones locked on you. Moving your hand slowly, you snaked them gently around his neck, feeling his soft locks tangle between your fingers. “Please…” His lips locked onto yours, stealing the yelp from your throat. His hands that were gripping firmly on the counter now tugged at your hips, bringing you flushed against him. You could feel his body heat pool where you needed him most. You’ve never been kissed like this before. The softness with pure desperation lingering. It was as if your nerves exploded with little fireworks across your spine as you shiver under him. “Y-yu..y..” He was quick to swallow your cries, using his leg to spread your thighs more so he could easily slip between them.

“If we keep going, We aren't having dinner.” Yunho groaned against your tongue, pulling away with a tug on your bottom lip. He could hear a slight ring in his blushed ears, feeling his whole body shaking, craving to keep going. But he needed you to take the lead. Tell him what you wanted… for now.

“My bedroom is the first door on the left.” Your smile seemed to be contagious as Yunho couldn't help but give you a cheeky little smirk in return. He wasted no time in taking a hold of your lips again, but this time he took a step back, letting you both shuffle ungracefully towards the hallway. You huffed as you almost tripped, giving up with the kiss. You grabbed a hold of his hand that was still tightly against your hip, intertwining your fingers withs his. You both stood there for a moment. Nothing but battered breath and racing heart beats could be heard. It was like the world had ceased to exist around this very moment. His hazy gaze travelled from where you were both connected, up your soft arms, until he reached your lips. They were swollen, puffy and pink. Beautiful… Yunho thought. Everything about you was simply beautiful.

You gave him a soft smile, one he has never seen ever pointed in his direction, and with your hands tightly interlocked, you lead him slowly into your bedroom. A shy grin decorated your features. Something that Yunho's dark stare didn't linger from, as if he needed to map out every curve and twist to keep it perfectly accurate in his mind for years to come. From the intense gaze, you look away and towards your bed.

As soon as you opened the door, Yunho was met with the sweetest scent. It was so much stronger than the one that painted your apartment. Strawberries, vanilla, and brown sugar. The room wasn't much different from the rest of your place. It was neat, tidy. But there were blankets and plushies galore on your bed. Like a little nest to keep you safe from the outside world. The bedding was a forest green that matched the similar greens on your desk that sat in the corner. You, of course, had a bookshelf in here, too, filled with a number of different kinds of novels. Yunho reminded himself to bring up the one you recommended to him when you first met.

"Cute..." Was all he spoke, making your red face become even more hotter. You turned back to him, seeing his gaze glued to you, eyeing you with a devilish smirk. "...Just like you.”

Yunho lowered himself to place his lips on yours in another heated kiss. His hands wandered lower and lower, making your own fly to grab his shoulders. He backs you up slowly, step by step. Your hazy mind was too focused on the deepening kiss to notice any movement. It wasn't until you were suddenly startled by the edge of the bed hitting your thighs that you pulled away from the man in front of you. Yunho didn't hesitate to push you back gently. The little yelp that escaped your throat would have sounded pathetic if in a different scenario, but Yunho couldn't help but groan in response to the sound. Before you could protest anything, Yunho quickly stifled any noise as he followed you to capture your lips once more in a fierce kiss.

Teeth clashed against each other, and tongues danced like there was no tomorrow. It was like Yunho couldn't get enough of you. He needed to taste you in every way possible. The whimper that slipped from him as his mouth ventures lower to your jaw, biting and lapping at your skin. Then the same is done to your neck, your collarbone, all the way to the part of your breasts that was exposed by your sundress. You gasp, tipping your head back onto the plushies behind you while your hands loosen from the fabric on his shoulders.

Yunho suddenly stopped, his dark gaze looking up at your flushed expression. You're as red as a tomato with glossed over eyes, and God is it a delicious look on you.

"Such a pretty little thing." He groans, his voice all but a hushed whisper, slowly snaking his hands to your knees, playing with the lacy hem of your dress. "May I, Sunshine?" You nodded while biting your lip, a little too enthusiastically, shifting a little side to side. You tried to ease some of the ache between your legs.

“Use your words, Darling,” He grins, his touch unmoving.

“Please Yunho,” you finally squeak out. He shifts his body lower until he is snuggly between your legs. The sight of him looking at you through his lashes while his tongue coaks a thin layer of spit on his lips was enough to make you wet. You shiver as his large hands run from your knee, up your thigh, under your dress before returning back to your knee, tantalisingly. As if marvelling at what was before him. What you were gifting him. He does it again, this time letting his finger tips linger a little bit longer on your inner thigh before pulling away completely, leaving a thrilling chill to run down your spin. “I need you…”

His ghosting hand places itself back on the soft parts of your thighs, squeezing as he heard those three words slip from your pretty mouth. “You need me, sunshine? Need me to take the ache away? Tell me what you need, baby.”

“I want you to taste me…” You felt shy whispering such filth but Yunho on the other hand, simply raised an eyebrow at your daring comment. It was something so daring it brought a smile to his older features. His little sunshine wasn’t innocent and he was slowly drawing the darkness out. His thumbs hooked on the edge of the dress hesitating before pulling the fabric up, agonisingly slow.

“Hmm, I knew my girl had a dark side.” He spoke with a lightly chuckle escaping his reddened lips from him biting them in anticipation. My girl…those words played in your head on loop, like your new favourite song. My girl. Argh you would never get over him saying that. He hikes your dress up higher to reveal your cute purple panties with a deep wet patch on them. You’re soaked right through. It was like he couldn't help himself, taking his pointer finger he pressed firmly on the patch watching the fabric stick to your core. He couldn't help but groan, “All this talk and here you are…dripping.”

Yunho dragged you underwear down your thighs. The cool air that crept from your bedroom window immediately hits the warmth of your core below. His fingers snatch the fabric clean off your legs, flicking them off to the side somewhere before his lustful gaze finally sets on the prize he had been yearning for ever since he first met you.

He swipes his thumb over your aching cunt, collecting some slick with his finger. It sent a jolt through you, your thighs twitching without your control. He coated his fingers more, watching your juices spill down his digit onto his knuckles. He does it once more for good measure, this time rubbing over your clit to earn himself a delicious whine from you. You grip at the bedsheets, widening your legs further for him unconsciously as he continues to play and rub at your clit just right. "Fuck...Yun."

"That's it sunshine, feeling good?" He chuckled watching you flinch as he pressed harshly on your clit. He snaked closer before his face was inches from you. He blew onto your wet lips, causing a gasp to leave you, but the gasp quickly turned into a high-pitched whine as you suddenly felt the warmth of his mouth upon you. He begins to lap up your pussy all the while still harshly circling your clit, moans escaping your parted lips. The noises turned into something desperate when the thumb was replaced by his firm tongue, pressing down and licking at your swollen bud, again and again. Yunho groaned against you, bucking his hips into the mattress at a stuttering pace. You took notice of his whine, feeling another one while he ground his hips just right against the sheets.

"Please, yuyu, t-that. I..ah."

You've never had any man pay this much attention to you before, let alone find enjoyment in eating you out. You can feel yourself becoming absolutely soaked just under the sensation of his mouth. Your legs quiver and shake, unable to control your movements as you feel yourself tip closer to the edge.

You try to take a deep breath. Feeling yourself already so close has made you feel slightly embarrassed. But as he sunk his long finger inside of your cunt, all the nerves seemingly washed away. Another one slid in easily and "Nh-ah YUNHO!" He curls them upwards, right to the spot that sends a spark of electricity crackling through your core.

He begins a steady rhythm along with his tongue continuously lapping your clit like he was a starved man taking his fill of a goddesses nectar and you're unable to control the noises and pants that fall from your throat. You grip one hand into the sheets as flies to grab the back of your thigh. lifting your leg up further to give him more access. You need more. You craved more. You've never felt this good before, and your being was demanding to be selfish for once.

He added a third finger as if he knew you needed something more. It made your head slam into the pillow behind you, turning to almost shout into the soft cushioning, muffling yourself for your poor neighbours. He works up a good rhythm, finding what buttons to push, succeeding in getting to know what your body wants. Groans from him and other lustfulled sniffles fill the room, as your thighs clamp down around the mob boss's head, keeping him where he is.

He could barely breath as your hips buck against his soaked face. But he couldn't care less. In fact, he would be happy if he died like this. In between the legs of his best girl, his pretty little sunshine. You felt like you were about to explode but the euphoria didn't last long as Yunho used his free hand that had been holding onto your outer thigh to pull your legs apart, holding them in place so he could sit up slightly. "You close, baby? Do you need to cum?"

"Yes!" You answered in a choked whine needing to feel his mouth on you once again.

"Yes, what sunshine?" Normally, he would be one for punishment, and given you kept breaking rules, he was most certainly craving to punish you. But it decided to let it slide this one. He has more than enough time to mould you and shape you into his perfect angel later. But for now, he'll see what type of filth he can draw from you.

"Yes, please, Yunho." Your glossed eyes finally opened for the first time in what felt like years, your tears clouding most of your vision but you could still see the darkness in Yunho's gaze and how his chin was dripping with slick. Your slick.

He drove his fingers deeper, his knuckles brushing your walls as he slammed his digits in a calculated thrusts. Harsh, slow, and powerful. You become louder, needier, and you can’t get your breathing under control. You’re teetering right on the edge. Ready. Right there and then...

He stops.

His glistening face had the cheekiest, wet grin across it like he felt proud of edging you. You on the other hand looked almost shocked panting louding, heart beating in your ears with flush brilliant red cheeks. You lick your lips as you run your hand over your mouth before raking it through your slightly dishevelled hair. Your eyes grew narrow as you stared at the man between your shaking legs. He holds your thighs apart so you can’t clamp them shut to try and stop the intense tingling between, causing you to huff in frustration.

“Don’t need to ruin the fun now, princess,” he inquired as he stood up off the bed, towering over your weak looking frame. The moon light that was pooling in the room caused his shadow to engulf you, covering your body in his darkness. He looked powerful. He looked dangerous. Like the man everyone warned you about. The feared mafia leader of the Destiny clan. He pulls you by your ankles, yanking you until you were sitting on the edge of the bed. His hand gripped the back of your neck gently bringing your face to his so he could kiss you. But you kept your hand over your mouth, your other hand coming to place on his chest, holding him firmly in face with a hidden smirk.

“You are a cruel man.” You gestured to him not letting you finish, but in truth, the word cruel hung in the air like thick tension. Cruel. A word he was sadly used to. But not in this kind of way. It almost delighted him. You felt your heart jump as he raised his brow, coming closer so that he’s only a hair’s breadth away from the back of your hand. His dark eyes roam over your face, taking in every detail.

“Hmm why? You taste so sweet,” He bit his lip, “I want you to have a taste?” He mimics what you asked prior. You swallowed thickly with wide eyes nodding shyly. Slowly, you moved your hand away as he paused for a moment, just to see your flustered face once more. “Cute…”

He dives in, kissing you, lapping at your lips. His teeth nibbling, and his teeth clashing against yours. You could taste the muskiness of yourself on his tongue, the sweetness that lingered. You deepen the kiss, allowing his hand on the back of your neck to hold it still in place, giving up any power to give him everything of your being. Your hands shift to his shirt, catching the hem between your finger tips before tugging at the fabric. He seemed to get the gist as he pulled away for only a mere couple of seconds to pull his shirt off, snatching your lips against his once more.

Your fingers trace his body with your sight, feeling all the bumps of scar tissue and muscle. More proof of his status, of who he really was. But yet you still couldn’t pull yourself away. You’re not sure if you ever will. “Yu..” You huffed against his lips, “Yun I..”

He pulls away, letting his nose rub against yours while his eyes stay tightly sealed, taking in the moment like he was never going to be able to get it again. “What is it, my sunshine.”

“I need you… please.” You voice was barely above a whisper, only you and him being able to ever hear your little plea. His smile. His addicting smile made the butterflies in your tummy swoon. His hand that was firmly on your neck slid down until it found the zipper to your dress, playing with the metal between his digits.

“Can you stand?” He gently asked, waiting for you to nod a small ‘yes’. He helped you stand, the backs of your thighs still tightly against the edge of the bed, as if they were helping you stand. He finally pulled away, letting your eyes wander down his toned, damaged chest. He had tattoos up both arms, one of his right peck and one faintly sticking out on the top of his low slacks. You licked your swollen lips unconsciously as you gawked at him. Yunho on the other hand couldn't help but grin sinisterly at your reaction, delicately grabbing the zipper on your dress, he unzipped it until the straps of your dress loosened and fell from your shoulders.

The fabric pooled at your chest, your arms tightly holding it in place. “I…”

“Are you okay, love?” Your eyes snapped to his deep chocolate ones when he called you ‘love’, feeling your nerves crackling like fireworks. He tilted his head to the slide marginally, his smirk fading to a simple smile but his eyes never dimming their darkness. His hands gripped tightly onto his belt, unlooping it before throwing it somewhere in the room. He had made you watch his every move as he unzipped his slack unhurriedly. He could see the darkness begin to cloud your colourful eyes, your pupils growing large as the fabric fell to the floor, leaving him in his boxers. “Your turn.”

His voice somehow got deeper. His fingers gliding along your goosebumped skin. You took a deep inhale through your nose before letting your dress drop, pooling at your ankles. "Fuck..."

"Yun..." You dont even know why you called his name, but he was immediately on you, his one hand resting on your bare hip while the other effortlessly unhooked your bra in one quick snap, watching your plump breast spring free. He almost bent you in half when he brought his face to your tits, taking a deep breath, smelling your perfume on your sweaty skin. His tongue licked along the valley, groaning as he latched his mouth to your left nipple. "Fuck yuyu, nargh."

Your hands tangled in his hair as you feel back, dragging him with you as you fell on the bed with an 'oof'. He used his strong arms to throw your body upwards until your head hit the pillows, not leaving your breasts alone. He painted every part of skin he could with beautiful purple marks. Neading your chest, tugging on your nipples and wetting every surface. You could lay here and suck your tits for hours if you let him. But he knew you needed more. He needed more. Feel what it's like to be inside you.

"Such perfect tits. A pretty body. Everything about you is perfect sunshine. Hmm. My perfect girl." His praise made you whimper, a tear creeping out the corner of your eyes. You've never had someone say such kind things to you, praised you the way Yunho has been. For a cruel man, he was the kindest person you've ever met.

"Yu..yunho, please. I need you inside me." You whispered, tugging his head up by his hair so his lips were inches from your own. He gave you a small peck before sitting up slightly so he could wrap his legs around his waist, sliding the tip of his cock along your folds.

“Whatever my girl wants, she’ll get.” He sunk inside your soaked cunt inch by inch, bit by bit, until he bottomed you out. He shivered at the feling of your warm walls clenching tightly around him. His eyes squeezing shut and face burring in your neck. He could feel the coil in his gut already tug. he was going to cum any second and he felt embarrassed how quick you’ve made him feel like he had died and gone to heaven. “Fuck sunshine, you feel so nice. You’re pussy is sucking me in ngah.”

“Yunho please move.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, grinding upwards onto his public bone, feeling the friction ease the ache only just. It was like a switch went off when Yunho heard your little plea, snapping his hips into yours are such a pace it caused the air to be snatched out of your lungs. If you werent being fucked by the inch of your life you would of felt sorry towards your neightbours as a string of cries, swears and pet names bounced off the thin walls of your bedroom. Yunho drug his nails in the soft flesh of your waist, surely creating deep indents that you’d been flaunting for days to come.

You’ve never felt such a connection to another person before let alone a man. You were brought up with the idea that love didn’t exsit. That it was only a dream that settled in the books you’ve read. But the way Yunho made you feel, the way he made you want to feel. It was like you were in those books you’ve read.. “Yu..Yu I—”

“It okay baby. Let go. I wanna feel you cum around my cock.” He sat up just slightly grabbing both of your wrists he held your hands above your head, lacing his fingers harshly around your appendage. Bending one of your legs over his shoulder, he jackhammered into you at a sped that was just what you needed, feeling his waist grind on your clit, giving you the right amount of simulation to let go. “That’s it, darling.”

Your foggy eyes, riddled with tears, stared up at Yunho’s never leaving his gaze. He watch every detail your face made as you came crashing down from your high. The way you brows cross, you mouth hung only ajar and savlia dripping down your chin. You were the hottest thing he had ever laid eyes on, he was certain. “Fuck, sunshine, can I come inside you. Can I feel this pretty pussy up?”

His eyes begun to flutter closed as he felt a rush of need spill down his spine. You whimpered out a daring ‘yes please’ making him bust his load deep inside you, coaking your walls before some of his cum leaked out around his cock that stilled in you. Clouds daced around you, the softness of air tickling your sweaty flesh. Every nerve in your body was on an all time high and it was all thanks to the dangerous man above you. Yunho had let go of your wrist, kissing each one tendly. You simply lazily watched him, basking in the moment, never wanting it to end.

-♡

True acceptance

“true acceptance… i always thought true acceptance was believing i had it instantly in the 3D and the 4D…”

while reading edwards art “though false” post and his pdf for his series (you can find on reddit) it made me realize what true acceptance is really is when it comes to the law.

true acceptance doesn’t mean trying to force yourself into believing that its there in both the 3D and 4D. true acceptance is accepting you have it in the 4D and its okay to not have it in the 3D.

true acceptance is believing that the 3D will change to mirror what you have within because the inner world is the only reality, the only thing that reflects. true acceptance is knowing the outer man can’t manifest. the outer man cant “change the 3D”. it cant make things happen instantly.. it’s accepting your outer man can only experience your creations and the human experience. true acceptance is knowing your inner world is your only priority to change and everything will come from what you are, have and experiencing within.

it made me realize that all i really had to do is just accept i have it within without worrying about whenever i have it or not and not and forcing myself to have it within for a change in the 3D.

i always freaked out about the 3D and would always force myself to change it by forcing emotions, forcing methods, forcing feeling, forcing literally ANYTHING because i had really bad circumstances. but that wasnt what i was supposed to do. i was supposed to accept i have it within. surrender to my 4D and just know i have it within. i didnt need to time “when i will get it” or time “when it would come”. everything will come to pass. i didnt need to do xyz, i didnt need to listen to “instant result” subs. i didnt need to do any of it.

“Sure, you can try to control the how and the timing but do you want that responsibility? If you truly don't have to know that, wouldn't that bring you ease?” -ed art

i personally feel like i feel more at ease that know i have it right now in the 4D than having it “instantly”, you “could” manifest instant results to get them in the 3D but manifestation is about being and experiencing within. i feel like the instant results thing makes people put a lot of pressure, expectations and fears on the outer man and the outer world and making people think their priority and goal is to manifest for results in the 3D instead of just feeling fulfilled within and knowing you already have it.

whenever i would “try” to manifest instant results, i would always put an extra responsibility on the 3D. i would always try manifesting to change the 3D instead of just being it within. whenever i saw people saying they manifested overnight it always made me jealous in a way. but putting the responsibility of the 3D off my shoulders really put my mind at ease. it really did.

its just how the world works in the law terms. the 3D can only reflect you. if you try to manifest instant results, it kinda just shows you arent it, you dont have it within and you simply aren’t being it in consciousness. (IMO) everything is instant within. you already have it within.

just relax and know you already have it within.

i promise it would better you mentally. you dont have to force to change the 3D out of fear. leave it alone. literally leave it. the 3D doesnt need your fixing, your timing, your fears. it dont need any of that.. it just reflects who you are within. just make it your home within. make it your dwelling place where you just know you have it..ROE. (regardless of everything.)

true acceptance is accepting it will pass. -starmorself🫶🏾

this was only proofread once or maybe twice so idk if i made some mistakes since i skimmed through it. this post inspired by @cleostoohot ROE challenge

edit ?: *edit deleted* i feel like yall get what im tryna say.. just dont manifest instant results because you already have it within anyways. it places too much power onto the 3D and creates fear and frustration about it coming “fast” or/and “instantly” (IMO)

hiiii i recently watched kanthony (the so called bridgerton show or whatever) and was wondering if u have any fic recs... 👉👈🤭

okay i litchrally have never compiled a list bc i have read too many to keep them organized. but ill do it. Finally. for YOU.

first. my fav period setting fics <33:

tete a tete by caciopepebowl (14k~) this is REQUIRED reading to ME. its a quick read that explores kate and anthonys roles in their family. with an emphasis on KATE specifically bc of the additional hurdles of being a woman with limited funds. and anthony losing his mind on her behalf while shes breaking his heart by being like "the way i was treated was normal?? you dont know anything" and hes like "what? kate you deserved everything. you deserve ALL the love in the world!!" and shes all ">:( well if i do. you do too." . and hes like "oh. well...no. you see.. bc i suck" and shes like -_-. its really sweeeeeet and lovely <3) and really finally gave me the exploring of kates family issues that THE SHOW DID NOT!!!

the longest betrothal by caciopepebowl. (90k~) my FAVVVVV regency setting fic. its sooo good. its basically a continuation that fills in the gap AFTER they get engaged but BEFORE theyre married. and them trying SO hard to be normal about how in love they are lol. SO funny and sweet. and with IMMACULATE characterization

in vino veritas by wagamiller. (~10k) a one shot about kate going to a ladies society event and coming home drunk to anthony and him being soooo smitten with her. sauuuur cute. ive read this like 4 times <3 its soooo good

for reasons wretched and divine by penny_loaf. (~18k. locked fic. need an account.) basically kate and anthony get stuck in a time loop on that first day edwina is receiving suiters. they both think theyre alone in the loop and its depressing until they realize the other is stuck with them too. they try to break the loop and fail repeatedly. after a while they just give up and start fucking bc theres no consequences so who cares LOL. surprisingly tender and sweet

the harsh light of day by burnerraccount. (~22k. locked) explicit one shot. kate has the idea that they should fuck before they get married so theres less pressure on the wedding night. she decides all this without mentioning it to anthony (LOL). so she shows up at his house the night before their wedding. and his footman is like "theres a woman outside to see you" and he in all his goofy almost-married bliss is like "i dont want to see Any woman but my gorgeous, beautiful, amazing WIFE" and his footman is like "well. you see.. it is your wife. uh fiance" and anthonys like "[voice crack] huh ?". very FUNNY

green in its many hues by burnerraccount. kate and anthony decide they are going to be chaste and proper leading up to their wedding. they suck at it SO bad lol

next. modern AUS my best friends <33:

la semi dolce vita by caciopepebowl (~170k) my FAVVVV modern au of ALL time. kate is a private chef. anthonys family hires her when they go on vacation. hes being so normal about it. i promise. this is one of the best characterizations of kate AND anthony in a modern setting. with an extra emphasis on focusing on kate issues. and not JUST anthonys. which is what makes the dynamic sooo good. 10/10. hot. and i love LOVE <3

close encounters of the acutest kind by caciopepebowl (WIP ~74k. only incomplete fic ill put on this list i PROMMY. bc its by the prev author. and i Looove their writing and its sooo good so far <3) kate and anthony meet for the first time the DAY her dad died which is also the SAME DAY hyacinth is born. theyre both having a panic attack and end up running into the same empty hospital room to have it. are then intrinsically linked forever. as one is. run into each other multiple times over the years. with different feelings each time. and they are so normal (lying) <3. i love them

chosen & cherished by trash4ficsaboutlurv. (~42k) this is so underrated. kate runs a charity organization. anthony is CEO of whatever the fuck. she goes to his company when theyre holding some audition for what charity theyre going to invest in and kate is the last speaker and when its finally her turn he barely even pays attention. and shes exhausted and overworked and just oveeeer it All. so she ends the meeting and tells him to go fuck himself. LOL. genuinely really good. and hot <3

sidelines by ramarro. (~60k) this was THE quintessential kanthony modern AU in 2022. kates an artist who sees a picture of anthony on tinder and thinks he looks obnoxious (lol) but screenshots the photo so she can use his arms/hands for sketching practice. and then she see him and his grown ass on a date with her BABY sister. and shes like well i was right about him. and lets him know to his face how she feels (LOL). its wild. it slays. read it. theres an explicit follow up to it which also slays

three cities and we never lived here by ramarro. (~25k, ~40k) very different modern au where kate and anthony meet on vacation and are very casual with them both not looking for anything (genuinely for once lol) and then seeing each other multiple times over 2-3 years in different cities and still keeping it casual. but slowly slowly slowlyyyy it doesnt feel as casual as it used to. theres 2 fics in this. the first is kates pov. the second is anthony. both very good.

just go with it by suitsusboth. (~18k) kate when booking a flight sees the potential titles like ms, mrs, dr, and "viscountess" listed as a legit option and has a laugh like whos picking this goofy shit and accidentally clicks it. and then on her flight gets upgraded to first class next to anthony bc they assumed she was his wife. and he tries to be mad about it. but well. hes stupid for her in every universe so lol. funny and sweet

the air i breathe and the bane of my existance by the_loosest_moose. (image fic) these are textfics told through instagram, twitter, article and text message screenshots. with some regular text. would just check them out to gauge how you feel about the storytelling method. very fun reads once you get the hang of it

heirlooms by waterlilyrose. (~12k) modern au where kate gets anthonys ring stuck on her finger for days and has to wait to get it off. he is of course very normal about it

a devils love by irony_rocks. (~57k) this may not be for everyone but kanthony season came out around the same time as The Batman (2022) and as someone who was crazy insane about both. this was the MOMENT for me in spring 2022. its a crime mafia type au where kates character is inspired by selina kyle and the pebble lounge she worked at in the batman movie. and well. if youre about that specific combo check it out. its not a batman au

break point (series) by penny_loaf. (multiple. ~25k) this a tennis au which you wouldnt think would be that deep but it is and its sooooo good. it really delves into the pressure of the world its set in on top of the issues kate and anthony ALREADY have. and as an ANGST and crazy, complicated characters STAN...very GORGEOUS to ME <3 and hot

take me home by kendal_lynne. (~12k) romcom type explicit one shot where kate makes the mistake of telling anthony her ex couldnt make her come. and hes all like i can do it volunteer as tribute PLEASE PKLEASE PLEASE PICK ME CHOOSE ME PLWASEE etc

we never made a sound by writergirl8. (~4k) spy au that was soooooo good and sexy. i wish it was longer

with elaichi by serendipityinwords (~6k) the two biggest bitches at a dinner party find out they're soulmates. LOL. hilarious dialogue

theres probably more i loved that im not remembering rn and maybe ill update this but for now have fun! yippee <3

Ok Anthony and Kate Bridgerton calm down!

a definitive guide to actually fulfilling your desires

"i affirm and persist all day long but nothing is working!!"

"i ignored the 3d for a week straight and did xyz whenever i could but nothing happened"

stop forcing yourself to work for your manifestations. you can do tons of methods and challenges and still see zero change in the 3d. why? because states manifest. it‘s that easy.

now, when you affirm and visualize on loop to get your desires without success in what state do you find yourself?

in a state of lack. you are affirming to GET. you should never feel like you have to WORK for your manifestations.

"Ideas are impressed on the subconscious through the medium of feeling. No idea can be impressed on the subconscious until it is felt, but once felt - be it good, bad or indifferent - it must be expressed. Feeling is the one and only medium through which ideas are conveyed to the subconscious." - Neville Goddard (Feeling is the Secret)

THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO DO IN ORDER TO GET YOUR DESIRES IS TO FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE THEM. FULFILL THEM MENTALLY. read that again. you have to FEEL like you already have them. nothing else. everything else will follow.

"The subconscious never fails to express that which has been impressed upon it. The moment it receives an impression, it begins to work out the ways of its expression. It accepts the feeling impressed upon it, your feeling, as a fact existing within itself and immediately sets about to produce in the outer or objective world the exact likeness of that feeling. The subconscious never alters the accepted beliefs of man." - Neville Goddard (Feeling is the Secret)

isn't that amazing? you can genuinely have or be ANYTHING, yes, anything, just by feeling. and it will ALWAYS be expressed into the outer world as long as you fulfill it in the inner world ( -> your imagination).

now how do we go on about this?

first of all you need to actually realize that YOU ARE THE ONLY CREATOR. the only cause. everything you see in the 3d is dependent on your beliefs and ideas. you do not have to be anything you don’t want to be. you are consciousness moving through states. read that again. engrain it into your beliefs.

i recommend doing this meditation by edwartart. it really helped me realize that i don‘t actually need to see anything in the outer world, but can instead just experience it in my imagination. and as we learned earlier, "once it is felt, it must be expressed."

this is also why you really shouldn’t care about your 3d. you dont have to ignore it, but you should never identify with the outer world. you are pure consciousness. live in your imagination as much as possible, as imagination is reality. thoughts manifest -> the dominant feeling manifests.

and instead of consuming even more posts about manifesting, go try it out. you dont even have to meditate, just close your eyes and remove the outer world from existence. then be the person you want to be. experience living as that person. you‘ll soon realize that it‘s incredibly easy to manifest and you‘ll also automatically stop caring about the 3d when you reach the state of fulfillment.

and don’t say you "cant get into a state". once you get rid of that mental blockage and ALLOW yourself to feel and experience it‘s genuinely SO EASY. don’t force it! if it doesn’t feel good you’re probably imagining something you don’t really want. try imagining your heart‘s desires. imagining is so fun. do it whenever you can, when you’re waiting for the bus, taking a break etc.

read this post again if you need to. actually understand it.

now go live in your imagination. fulfill all your desires mentally and you‘ll soon realize the 3d automatically catches up without you having to lift a finger. the life of your dreams is literally just waiting for you to experience it!

~neo

“There will always be a person who looks like a poem the earth wrote to keep you alive.”

— Juansen Dizon

How do you completely drop the old story? I know it’s not serving me but I just can’t seem to let it go

you need to actually understand who you are and drop the ego first, realize you’re nothing but a dreamer and the “old story” is nothing but a dream to put aside to dream a more pleasant one.

address the feeling

recently i’ve been thinking about my understandings of the law and i decided to read again some of the stuff i read at the beginning of my journey. i’m glad i did because i now have a deeper understanding of what i thought i understood before, but actually never truly grasped its full meaning.

i have to be honest with you sometimes i still have my moments of anxiety, i still have my mind wondering if i’m doing things right and once in a while i still ask myself if i’m doing enough. shocking right? from my posts you may be thinking that there’s no one that understands the law better than me and you may be thinking “she must have the most perfect self concept i can’t wait to get there”

truth is: we are all humans at the end of the day and we are gonna have our moments, no one is better than anybody and the fact that my posts have helped people fill my heart with joy because i do not think of myself as a teacher, i merely try to share the notes of what i studied for myself and try to write it in a way that can reach anyone easily.

i haven’t felt inspired to post something in a while now, i was just numb cause i thought “there’s nothing else i could possibly share my thoughts on” and i have drafts of posts i have started writing but never finished because i didn’t feel called to do it and i don’t like to force myself to write something.

all my posts come from a burst of inspiration and i write them all at once (or at least i try) seizing the moment in which i feel the most inspired.

this being said what i’m about to address in this post is probably the most important teaching i have come across while reading the source and reading some material again has struck me with inspiration.

————————————————————————

“feeling is the secret.”

what does that mean?

to say that feeling is the secret is to say that feeling is the womb in which all things are born, when felt an idea has to be expressed whether you like it or not, unless you change the feeling and fuse your imagination with its opposite.

you see your physical world has no way of existing if it wasn’t for your imagination, it reflects that and the ideas you believe to be true.

“yeah alia you’ve said that”

i know i know, i have addressed this, these are the basics, but bear with me.

pay attention to what i’ve just said “it reflects the ideas you believe to be true”.

how tiring does that sound? does that mean we have to change our beliefs? does that mean we have to do shadow work and see what ingrained belief we have to dismount?

it doesn’t.

self is what we believe to be true and what gets reflected? self.

inevitably when we start to think about this we think we have to find a magical way to change our beliefs and to trick our mind into believing something new about ourselves or we pretend in hopes to fake it till we make it. we begin this journey prepared to train ourselves, prepared to do dozens of techniques and we fill ourselves with hope.

self is what we believe to be true in this world of imagination, our beliefs get reflected and this is why not every single thing we imagine gets reflected. yes, imagination gets always reflected and it happens instantly, but for that to happen you must believe in the reality of said idea.

what is a belief?

a belief is something, an idea, a concept YOU feel to be true. you is the key word because the sole operant power is you, in your life your world operates according to your assumptions, in your life there is no other creator but imagination, YOUR imagination.

a belief is something you feel to be true because a belief it’s just an idea and it’s powerless until we feel it to be true.

why do we feel it to be true? we decide it is.

you decided that your friend was rude to you because they don’t want to be your friend anymore; you decided that your partner was losing feelings because they were distant one day; you decided you were going to fail the test even if days away because you didn’t feel good enough.

you decided the reason your friend was rude to you was because they didn’t want to be your friend anymore, even if just yesterday they asked you to hang out.

you decided the reason your partner was acting a bit distant today was because they are losing feelings, even if just yesterday they said how much they loved you and bought you flowers.

you decided you were going to fail the test before you even started studying for it because you decided you weren’t smart enough, even if the last test you did went beautifully.

you have been making decisions dismissing the senses your whole life and probably occupying states that do not serve you at all without even realizing it. you have misused your power for so many years it feels too good to be true to finally realize it’s all in your hands.

to decide that your friend was rude because they don’t want to be your friend is just as easy as deciding they just had a bad day and accept that as true.

to decide that your partner is losing feelings because they are acting a bit distant today is just as easy as deciding they just were busy today and accept that as true.

to decide that you’re going to pass the test and that you are smart enough is just as easy to accept as true.

how? how can i accept that as true if reality is showing me the opposite? how can i accept it as true if i failed in the past?

we always disregard appearances, we always disregard and dismiss the senses and accept things as true based on our imagination. there is no outside reality because the true reality is within and as within so without. you accepted it as true and now it is expressing in your life, your mirror is just reflecting what you decided to be true, you had no other proof when you started assuming those negative things about yourself and about others.

think about it! when you first started worrying your partner was losing feelings, did you have proof of it? did you have concrete proof that made you think they wanted to dump you? i think you made an assumption, decided it was true hoped with all your heart it wasn’t, but felt it to be true and soon you were provided with proof and there you go: “just like i thought”.

you decide everything all the damn time!! trust me this is nothing new, the thing is that when it comes to positive things we want to believe to be true we think we need proof, and what is proof? the permission to believe something as true. the 3D never played a part in this, when it came to you assuming negative things about yourself or about others you didn’t think about how it wasn’t true on the outside, did you? when you started feeling insecure in your relationship and worried they would dump you, did you think about how it wasn’t “real” on the outside? did you worry about how the outside was opposite so it couldn’t possibly be true?

no, you didn’t.

you decided it was true, trusted it, dismissed the senses even when completely opposite and soon enough the universe, god, whatever you believe in, provided proof for you.

the power we have is the power of dismissing the senses, the power of deciding what is true or not. and you do that using imagination as your instrument. yes, imagination gets expressed but imagination is not just the silly little scenarios you make up, imagination is your mental activity and what gets expressed is what you believe to be true in imagination.

again when it came to negative stuff you were well aware that the outside was opposite from what you believed to be true but you didn’t care one bit and it still manifested into your life. your lover was distant one day, you assumed they lost feelings, the next day they tell you how much they love you and you assume they are lying, you assume the outside isn’t as true as what you believe to be true inside.

you sustain that feeling, you trust it, and it gets expressed.

you never actually waited to look at your partner and see them telling you they were losing feelings before you assumed they were. you never worried about what the 3D was showing you, you never CARED for it.

when you assume something new about yourself and you imagine yourself to already be the one you wish to be you do so because by imagining you are experiencing it in the true reality. imagining it to be already realized helps because your imagination is a tool, it’s an instrument that makes it easier to trust the new idea you decided to assume about yourself because you actually experienced it.

when you imagine yourself in a new state and you do so by, for example, conjuring up a scene, you do so because you want to experience what you desire. you want to live it, you want to experience it and feel it to be true, that’s what the scenes are for, you visualize a scene that implies your objective realized and you indulge in that peacefully enjoying it.

you don’t have to necessarily visualize scenes, affirm, or do this or that technique. these are just tools, methods you can use to use your imagination in a way that is most comfortable to you. for example i am naturally a visualizer so to get myself in a new state sometimes i find it helpful to conjure up a scene that implies my objective realized and experience it, i enjoy it fully and when i open my eyes i trust the implications of that scene to be true, i just experienced it, who’s gonna tell me i didn’t?

what you need more than anything is to give yourself permission to trust in the reality of imagination, that’s the only thing you need.

yes, you are allowed to believe you are good enough for that job; you are allowed to believe you are safe and secure in relationships; you are allowed to believe anything you want no matter how far fetched it might seem.

you can be so bold with your scenes, or your affirmations. you imagine the most perfect scene or say the most wonderful affirmations but i dare you to be as brave with feeling as you are with your scenes and your words.

i dare you to accept it is true, i dare you to believe it is true because you said it is, and then again i’m not talking about the outside!!! i’m talking about imagination because imagination is the only reality. if it is true in imagination and it is because you can just DECIDE it is, then it’s truth. there’s nothing more to do on your part, you just sustain that state and everything else will take care of itself.

free yourself entirely in your mind and accept as truth whatever you desire to be true about yourself, you can imagine yourself to be confident, smart, beautiful, loved, cared for and you can give yourself permission to accept it to be true inside of imagination and see yourself exactly how you want to see yourself.

stop caring about how it’ll happen or if it will happen or what will happen and just FEEL.

FEEL WHATEVER YOU TRULY WANT TO FEEL.

address the feeling

what do i mean by that?

pay attention to your mental activity for one day and see where your mind wonders naturally, that will tell you your current state.

let’s say you get ugly thoughts, you think you’re not enough and that you are going to fail the test you have in two weeks. pay attention to your mental activity and see how the thoughts FOLLOW the feeling, and not viceversa. first you get the feeling of unworthiness and then you start thinking “i’m not enough i will fail i can’t do this”, there is no inherent truth in those thoughts.

it may be difficult to notice at first but everything starts from a feeling and then the thoughts follow. there is no thought you have to flip because they hold no truth and no power by themselves, they are simply a manifestation of your FEELING.

fearful feeling gives birth to fearful thoughts. anxious feeling gives birth to anxious thoughts. lonely feeling gives birth to thoughts of loneliness. insecure feeling gives birth to insecure thoughts.

the only reason why you believe something to be true is because you FEEL it. there’s no actual truth in those fearful, anxious, insecure thoughts.

YOU FELT FEAR and the fearful thoughts came along and then you started worrying about them manifesting into your life. YOU FELT INSECURE and the thoughts of insecurity and unworthiness came alone and you started feeling bad about yourself and unworthy of your desire.

just as easily as you felt insecure you can feel secure, just as easily as you felt fear you can feel safe.

you create the feeling you desire to feel and you indulge in that, you FEEL it because why would you deny yourself of such experience if you can have it?

why would you deny yourself from experiencing what you want in your own mind? why would you create blockages? why don’t you feel what you want to feel? because you are scared? scared of what? of it not working? working for what?

this is not a method for fuck’s sake. this is not a technique!!! this is how you are living, this is how you have lived and how you’ll always live.

change your feeling, allow yourself to feel what you want to feel and thoughts will naturally come from that, and from thoughts will come actions and from actions will come events. NATURALLY.

there’s no work on your part, meaning that you don’t have to worry about what you need to think or do, you will naturally do that. and this goes for opposite action too: if you’re manifesting to pass all your tests with straight A’s and you go and decide to sit on your ass all day without studying you are still messing with the how! you are pretending you have something IN THE MIRROR when you DON’T! you have it in imagination ONLY. your job is to change self and you don’t change self by pretending or acting as if you have something in the mirror.

your job is to simply FINALLY give yourself permission to actually FEEL.

"Don't imagine to try, but to experience" -EdwardArt

In the beginning I heard this saying, but I never truly grasped the statement. Even now I still look at it kind of funny only because even though the basis of manifestation is proving to u that you've always had what you wanted, let's be real the main reason 99.9% of us started consciously manifesting in three first place is because we want to have this same experience in the 3d. But unfourtanetly, when you really change your perspective you will begin to realize truly, how delusional and illogical you are with approaching manifesting as a whole(bare with me). Let's run down the basics so you all can see what I mean:

You learn about manifestation. The main points you know is that:

1. Imagination is the only reality

2. You can manifest anything there are no limits

3. Manifestation is always instant

Some of you may be really saying to yourself "Ms. Allurèa I already know this stuff so how am I being delusional?" Well I'm glad you asked. You know these basic things about the law, you know the moment you've imagined what you want (imagination don't equal visualization) it was already fulfilled. You say you know imagination is the only reality yet you look outside in the mirror for validation, you say you know you can manifest anything yet you condition your desires, you say you know manifestation is instant yet every other minute something isn't shown desirable in the 3d you ask "where is it?" AND "why isn't it here yet?" You say you know you control your reality yet you act like you don't. You say you know the 3d and 4d are the same so you "know" to change 4d yet you try to change your reflection instead of changing SELF. You say you've imagined the end yet you question "did I do it right?" "When will it come?" "Is it done?"

You guys see how delusional, illogical and contradicting it sounds. If you have to question if your desires are fulfilled or not then no they are not fulfilled. If you have to ask "where is it?" After you've literally just saw yourself having what you want IN IMAGINATION, IN SELF then no you do not have it and you need to change your mindset immediately and when I say that I'm not just speaking on SC but your perspective entirely. Are you truly imagining to experience because you know imagination is your true reality therefore you are experiencing what you want now or are you imagining to try and get something that's already there. There is literally only I AM, if you must say "I will be" then you do not have it at all. You either have it or you don't.

"As far as I am concerned I already have what I want, there is no where is it? I just imagined it because imagination is the only reality. So therefore it's here right now. There is no when is it coming? It's already here. There is no well did I do it right or did it work? It's ALREADY WORKED. To deny this is being delusional" -EdwardArt

“how did you get into writing” girl nobody gets into writing. writing shows up one day at your door and gets into you

"Your responsibility is not to make it happen in the world, your responsibility is to imagine its already happen and sustain that with faith"

-Edward Art

really amazing post from edwardarts reddit/series!

this is the meditation he’s talking about btw

really amazing post from edwardarts reddit/series!

this is the meditation he’s talking about btw

some thoughts on imagination and fulfilling ALL your desires, no matter how small ♡

hiii! just wanted to share with you guys some things ive been thinking about lately and a new discovery!

so first of all! i went through a little phase this previous weekend where i could not imagine for the life of me. i just could not concentrate, and i kept hyperfixating on every little sound in my room and it was very frustrating. i also could not fall asleep because i usually use daydreams to lull myself to sleep and i couldn't daydream! it was very frustrating.

(side note--at one point i wished that my room would just be silent and then i lost power for a few hours and my room WAS dead silent for a while, lol)

but then i was scrolling thru loatwt, like i do, and i found this acct @/scriptercas and they made a couple of posts about the way they imagine (i like this one too) and i tried it that night and i was DEEP in my imagination for like an hour straight. like me??? adhd aphantasia me???

i know that a lot of you guys are like me and have aphantasia and therefore can't see mental images and you can get discouraged by imagining, but this is definitely my new holy grail and i think this will work so well for you guys too!

(p.s. if you guys are into shifting, that account has some great advice! i'd really recommend!!)

i also recently re-read edward art's series, which i have mentioned in recent posts. once again, i know ive also said this recently, but i highly highly highly recommend reading it (or listening, there's also an audio form) if you haven't already! even if you just read the first five parts. i swear if you are still struggling to fully grasp the law, after you read it you will get it. it's so good.

i bring this up because in a lot of the parts, edward talks about building the habit of fulfilling every single desire--no matter how small--that you have, as it comes to you. and i've just been ruminating on this so much lately.

i remember at the beginning of my loa journey, there would be things that i wanted and i'd kinda mourn the fact that i didnt have them... when i didn't have to. i could've just fulfilled myself. but instead i had the idea in my head that "i'll manifest my sp first, and THEN i can get my desire of receiving flowers." or, "i'll manifest money first, and THEN i can buy the expensive things i want" or "i'll manifest my new apartment, and THEN i can host dinner parties for my friends" etc.

but what i've been thinking about lately--prompted by edward--is that you dont have to want for anything anymore. i can give myself any and everything i want in my imagination. i don't have to wait to manifest something else first.

this has really bolstered my imagination game as well. everything you want to do with or experience once you have your desire, you can have/experience in your imagination right now. and it really adds to your imaginings. it really helps immerse you more and helps you capture the feeling of it being real.

for example, when i was manifesting my apartment, i had sooo many things i wanted to experience once i'd manifested it. i wanted to have my friends over for game night and cook them dinner and make them cocktails. i wanted to bake in my spacious kitchen and have fancy utensils and expensive ingredients. i wanted to shower in my fancy shower and use expensive bath products. i wanted my own vanity stocked with expensive makeup and perfumes. i wanted a large walk in closet with rows and rows of gorgeous clothing. i wanted to come back from a night out and leave my clothes strewn about the bathroom bc i was too drunk to put them away, and no one was gonna see them or yell at me for leaving them there. like some of the things i desired for were so mundane, yet i felt the absence of them in my life every day. for example: living close to a target, being able to make adventurous meals without worrying if my family members would like them, playing video games with my friends in my own living room.

everything i just listed were things i wanted so badly once i had my apartment, but whenever id run into the opposite in my every day life, i wouldn't fulfill myself at first. like i'd go to cook the same old dinner i cooked for my family every other night and i'd be like "ugh i wish i could be in my own apartment where i did the grocery shopping and i could buy fresh ingredients and make an elaborate meal instead of just having pasta and jarred sauce again." but then i realized that if i were in my dream apartment i would be able to do that. i spent so much time imagining waking up in my new apartment and what it would look like, but in the end, imagining stuff like this is what really helped me to fulfill myself and catch the feeling of the wish fulfilled.

i was really reminded of that whenever i re-read edward's series, and now im applying it to my new desires as well. it's so funny that no matter how much i manifest or how much i learn i always find myself forgetting little tidbits like that that really help me and are very valuable.

anyway i just wanted to make this post to help you guys a little maybe! i was just in the shower and i was remembering edward saying to fulfill every little desire you have--not matter how small-- and i was remembering the days i used to imagine myself in my current shower, and id close my eyes and imagine the scent of the shampoo i wanted to get and i'd feel where every individual bath product would be placed once i had my own shower. and all that inspired me to write this!

i hope that this helps you guys out and/or gives you imagination motivation! i feel like it's important to imagine all the small things that pertain to your desire that maybe you overlook while imagining, but that you know you deeply yearn for even if u think they're mundane or that you'll just get them once you get your big, overarching desire <3

Living in the end is easier than you think

CHAPTER I: What does it mean to live in the end ?

When living in the end, you're basically pretending that you already have what you want. You act and you think like the person who already has what they want. It's that simple !

CHAPTER II : How to live in the end the correct way ?

A big mistake most people do when living in the end is that they wait for their desire, they think about it coming soon or they want it to come. The point of living in the end is that you're living as you already have it, not as waiting for it to arrive. When you stop waiting for your desire to appear, that's when you will get it because the 3D has no other choice than to reflect. When you look at yourself, imagine yourself as the person who has that desire. Whenever you think of your desire, remind yourself that you are already the person who has it. Keep doing this and there is no way you won't succeed. Whenever you have doubts, relax and ask yourself: "am I waiting for my desire to come to me or do I already have it? " There will be days of doubting and that's absolutely normal. Relax, clear your mind and focus on the basics. Tell yourself that it is done, you have what you want, because you do. Feel the joy of already having your desire, not of waiting for it to arrive.

3 DAY ROUTINE BASED ON ANONS VOID SUCCESS STORY

( Requested by an anon ✧ )

Introduction to the routine :

Before I could join Tumblr, the 3 day Manifestation challenge was already published on Tumblr and it become really popular and so many Anons succeeded with it. It was STARLIET who made the post and oh my word, it was beautiful ( I miss her sm ). So, this was inspired by star and my anon <3.

The 3 day concept was based on the following points :

✩ " Three days; the duration is three days for response in this world. If I would now assume I AM what I want to be, and if I AM faithful to it and walk as though I were, the very longest stretch given for it’s realization is three days. If there is something tonight that you really want in this world, then experience in imagination what you would experience in the flesh were you to realize your goal and deafen your ears and blind your eyes to all that denies the reality of your assumption . . . If I could completely saturate my mind with one sensation and walk as though it were already a fact, I am promised (and I cannot find any denial of it in the Bible) that I do not need more than a three day diet if I remain faithful to it "

✩ " Begin now to mentally see and feel yourself as that which you want to be, and feast upon that sensation morning, noon, and night. I have scoured the Bible for a time interval that is longer than three days and I have not found it. "

✩ " The Bible gives it as three days; the duration is three days for response in this world. If I would now assume I am what I want to be, and if I am faithful to it and walk as though I were, the very longest stretch given for its realization is three days. "

( STARLIET 3 DAY MANIFESTATION CHALLENGE btw)

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ

Main terms to understand in this post ♡ -

State of Akin to Sleep :

State of akin to sleep is the most talked about method in Neville's Goddard books and it is one of his favourite techniques to manifest. Sats is basically falling asleep in the wishfulied state in even more simpler terms meaning imaging your desires as if it ALREADY manifested.

Neville says:

" You change your future best when you are in control of your thoughts while in a state akin to sleep, for then effort is reduced to its minimum. Your attention seems to completely relax, and then you must practice holding your attention within that feeling, without using force, and without using effort " .

Living in the end :

Living in the end means to go straight into end idea of what it feels to have your manifestation. As Star said, what thoughts will you think, if you had your desire!

" Techniques such as affirmations, visualization, feeling as if, are very important. You do them, let's say 15 minutes, multiple times a day, and then during the day, you just remind yourself "It's done." You have it. You are it. The problem is resolved. THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO DO. "

" YOU KNOW IT IS DONE "

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ

Routine →

Firstly, I understand that some of y'all might have problems with visualizing when it's comes to sats, but that's totally ok. Instead of imaging you can use Affirmations <3.

Your Affirmations can be :

✧ It's a fact that I always manifest within 3 days.

✧ I successfully entered the void state within 3 days

✧ I always wake up in the void state aware within 3 days.

✧ I can easily manifest whatever I want within 3 days.

Day 1 :

Step 1 : In the morning as you wake, you are naturally in Sats without having to meditate to get into it.

You start affirming any of the affirmations above or simply imagine telling someone that entering the void state is completely easy for you.

Step 2 : During the day 3x whatever time you want, you going to meditate on the feeling of the wishfulied on how entering the void state is easy for you. See, think and act it out in your imagination. For example, I want you simply feel how it would be if you entered the void state and manifested all your desires, would you feel excited, happy or fulied. This will take you out of the " TRYING " mindset and put into your desired state of being a master of the void state.

Before bed, you are also naturally in sats, use this as the perfect time to affirm any of the above affirmations. Know that you will wake up in the void state within 3 days!!

REPEAT FOR THE NEXT 2 DAYS!!

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ

Always believe in yourself. Do this and no matter where you are, you will have nothing to fear.

- Hayao Miyazaki

मन पवन हो गंगा में डूब नहाए,

मन रावण को जो लहरों में तूने बहाए..

Once again fighting and defeating my inner demons I realise, the evil and the virtuous are not outside but within one's self. It's about conquering victory over your own vices with your virtues. Ganga is the ever flowing river of knowledge in the universe. The knowledge that purifies the soul. The knowledge that takes our vices away in it's flow. All we need to do is plunge into the river. May knowledge enlighten you! Hari Om❤️

I will never be able to move on from this scene.

With Assemblyman Ko arrested and proven guilty, Han Joon Hwi was no longer indebted to Kang Sol A.

But then comes the line.

"I'll be rooting for you in your uncle's place."

Kang Sol A stepped up to root for him in replacement of someone who has passed away. Declared that she would always be there for him, take care of him, and be his family.

He smiled, right? I'm sure, by that time he realised--

Han Joon Hwi is forever indebted to Kang Sol A.

- how dare a defendant jump on the bench - it’s not for a judge wearing pajamas under bench to say

law school

back to masterlist

series

➵ peace is not known to man

∟ summary: after turning his back on the prosecutor’s office, lawyer han joon hwi attempts at a clean slate, starting his own private firm. but, there was no way for him to move forward without clearing his former suspect, his current coworker, lawyer kang sol. with lee man ho, their main suspect, escaped and an empty apartment, can they prove her innocence?

(part I) (part II) (part III) (part IV)

➵ push and pulI

∟ summary: during a trial, a lawyer must be ready for anything. they should be able to navigate their way through any sudden obstacles or arguments. but through her time at law school, this is the first time her opponent has used kisses as an argument strategy.

or: joon hwi decides it’s time to test how far kang sol’s concentration can last. you know, to prepare her for the trial. no other reason.

(part I) (part II)

➵ caught up in a dream (in a technicolor beat)

∟ summary: a dream or real life? when sol sneaks out of joon hwi’s room after a one night stand, he assumes the whole night to be a very vivid dream. a little too vivid. but of course, it had to be a dream. right?

aka: idiots to lovers but heavy emphasis on the idiots.

(part I) (II)

➵ underneath the singing moon

∟ summary: a story in two parts, from two people who watched as their life flowed past. a solhwi & jisolB fic

(part I) (part II)

➵ darling, you're the one i want

∟ summary: Kang Sol A was never known for her luck, but she suspected it to be more like a curse when after almost 5 years, she bumps into her rival and the bane of her existence: Attorney Han Joon Hwi. What’s worse? She has to work with him and she’s sure that she’ll either kill him or kiss him before this is all over

After Kang Sol B was freed from the clutched of her mother, her new found freedom spurred her into a night in bed with the mysterious Ji Ho. Yet, when he walks into her office the next day, she is faced with the realization that she is now working with the same man she slept with. What’s worse? He’s insufferable and she just might have to kiss him to shut him up.

(ch. 1)

one shots

➵ you're my sunshine in the rain when it's pouring (won't you give yourself to me?)

∟ summary: Kang Sol A was not afraid, she wasn’t built to be afraid. But what else could you call the pang that rippled through her heart as she noticed the two figures huddled at the cafe near the entrance of her school?

➵ there's gotta be some butterflies somewhere (wanna share?)

∟ summary: They were light and dark, yin and yang. Kang Dan and Kang Sol were a set, unbalanced without the other. Despite their differences, it was always clear that neither sister would leave the other.

Until one did.

aka: what would have happened if kang dan made her flight.

➵ and when the seasons change (will you stand by me?)

∟ summary: when kang sol’s mother has to work late, she has to take care of byeol. it’s just her luck that she has an exam the next day, one for professor yang of all people. joon hwi, being the kind classmate he is, offers to study with her.

or: byeol is solhwi mastermind, and she’s says everything we wanted to say to the two dummies

➵ a king and his rusty throne (i'm just skin and bones)

∟ summary: Lawyer Han Joon Hwi never yields, fighting endlessly. The court was his domain, where he held the power over his opponent. The only exception, of course, is his 5'6" passionate, animated girlfriend, Attorney Kang Sol.

➵ cause we're dancing in this world alone (when people are talking)

∟ summary: a puzzle with a missing piece and a kite with a fragile string, finding what they need most in their young, shaky lives.

or: ji ho finds understanding through the most uncharacteristic gesture.

➵ jumping in eyes closed, hands tied

∟ summary: Prosecutor Han Joon Hwi and Lawyer Kang Sol A have been avid rivals since they met at Hanguk Law School. Every courtroom turns into an intense dance between the two talented individuals, the tensions high and the arguments captivating. Their win rates were neck and neck, and the tension between them was just as thick as ever. Little did everyone else know, Han Joon Hwi and Kang Sol A held a secret underneath the sheets.

➵ wednesdays at 11 pm

∟ summary: a progression in time, lives, and goodbyes.

➵ golden (like daylight)

∟ summary: three times han joon hwi tried to confess to kang sol, and the one time kang sol confessed to him.

➵ he’s earth and heaven to you (you can’t conceal it)

∟ summary: Kang Sol A, just wants a one normal year. Just one year without some kind of explosion, or murder, or world ending event. Unfortunately, disaster has struck in the form of a 5' 11" insufferable, quidditch player and genius Han Joon Hwi.

headcanons

➵ wicked love, leaves me blind

golden (like daylight)

read on ao3 • main masterlist • law school masterlist

summary: three times han joon hwi tried to confess to kang sol, and the one time kang sol confessed to him.

word count: 6.8k words

a/n: after almost a year, ao3 user colorfuldreams finally had two braincells knock into each other and finally make an idea! jokes aside, i’m so happy to be writing for solhwi again. writing them felt so familiar that this fic just flowed freely from the heart. i forgot how easy it was to write for them. i literally wrote this in the span of 4 hours, literally one sitting and my god i missed writing for this couple so much. this is dedicated to everyone on twitter who encouraged me to keep going, to everyone who loved law school! i hope this kick continues and i can write more and more for them!

HAN JOON HWI wasn’t a masochist. Really, he liked to live a painless life as possible, but after losing his family, losing his uncle, being accused of murder, and the whole plethora of events during his 1L, he hasn’t been awarded the opportunity to live a peaceful life. But just when he thought he could live a painless life, at last, the realization that he was in love with Kang Sol A, punched him in the face.

The punch was painful, the fear of everything he was risking swirling around his mind. Kang Sol was everything to him: his best friend, his confidant. She’s the one that risked herself for him when no one else would. She’s the one that believed in him when no one else did.

It was a dangerous thing, to be so in love with someone that ripped his whole world off its axis to revolve around her. Each passing day, each study session, each moment shared between them was another granule of sand dripping through the hourglass, building up the fear of rejection, vulnerability, and commitment. Every fear of his that he had buried down was unearthed each time he considered confessing to her.

But the realization was also blissful. Blinding. Soothing. For every inch of fear she brought to him, she brought triple times the joy. Each time he looked at her, talked with her, spent time with her, happiness would burst within him, the feeling bleeding into every corner of his body. It would start at his lungs, wrapping itself around his heart before moving up to his throat, then down his shoulders to his arms, to the very tips of his fingers.

The first couple of times he felt it, the feeling was electrifying, making his fingers fidget in want to pull her close, to tell her how he felt. But the more he felt, the more he came to be at peace with it, the sharp excitement morphing into contentment each time. Being in love with Kang Sol A was just that: pain and fear swirling into bliss and contentment.

Joon hwi shut the book sitting in front of him, the slam of the pages causing the students around him to shoot him a dirty look. He paid them no attention, considering the only student that mattered to him barely lifted her head from where it was buried in her textbook.

It was dead week at Hanguk Law school, meaning every student on campus was crammed into any room they could find, pouring over their texts to sear every comma and word into their minds. Students walked around campus like zombies, one hand clutching coffee and a textbook in the other flipped open to whatever page they needed to memorize. Joon hwi, unlike his last year, was no exception. He was a genius, yes, but even he needed to study for the grueling exams of 2L.

So of course, he wound up studying next to Sol, her in the signature grey sweaters and sweatpants, with her hair haphazardly tied into a bun. He watched as she tracked her eyes across her readings, pausing to jot down some notes before continuing on studying. She was diligent in her studies, trying to absorb as much as she could so she wasn’t so behind in her classes. Luckily for his worrying heart, Sol wasn’t nearly as unhealthy as the last year, her self-abusive study habits fading away slowly after she realized that she couldn’t afford to burn out.

Still, he was always worried that she would slip back into them, especially after the crushing midterm grade in her Corporations and Evidence class. For the past few weeks, he had his eye on her, making sure to drop off food, leave her some of his precious ramen and encourage her to take breaks. Joon hwi knew better to argue against Sol at this point, familiar with the stubbornness that coursed through her so all he did was just be there for her.

Gently, Joon hwi placed a hand on her shoulder, trying not to startle her too much. Sol jerked at his touch, but the hazy look in her eyes vanished as she looked up at him questioningly.

“Let’s take a break,” he whispered to her, trying his best to ignore the glare of every student at the sound of his voice. Sol opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off by grabbing her hand.

He shot her his best ‘puppy’ eyes, trying to convince her to do what he wanted, until the tired girl gave in, getting up and out of her seat. He got out of his own seat, stretching before he followed behind her, leaving the stuff on the library table, trusting that Ye-Seul and the rest of the study group would keep watch of it.

The two of them walked in comfortable silence until they reached the doors of the school and stepped into the warm summer air. Sol stretched slightly, letting out a small sound of contentment as they marched side by side, enjoying a break from constantly studying. Joon hwi had his hands stuffed into his pockets, enjoying the feel of having her at his side, trying to soak in her presence as much as possible.

“How do you think we would be as lawyers?” she asked him, her voice breaking the silence.

“Why are you thinking about that?” he questioned, kicking a small pebble out of the way as they continued their lap around the campus.

“I don’t know. I’m just curious I guess, about how we would be after law school,” she answered simply.

“Hm. Well, I don’t think much would change. Obviously, we’d be in different fields and we’ll have longer hours and more work. But I’m sure we’d always be here for each other,” he answered, before noticing the slight furrow in her eyebrows. “Why? Were you excited to leave me behind Sol-ah?” he teased lightly.

Sol let out a sharp laugh, twisting to face him. “Han Joon hwi, if you think I’m letting go of you that easily, you’re dead wrong.” She moved to bump her hip into his, pushing him slightly.

“Trust me, I have no intention of letting you fade out of my life,” he replied, letting out a huff of laughter in response. As if I’d ever let you go.

Sol paused in her tracks slightly, and Joon hwi had to turn around to face her. And they stood, facing each other like that for a few moments, the summer air wrapping around them as they studied each other.

“Thank you, Joon hwi. I know you’ve been trying to make sure I won’t slip into my bad habits again,” she said, biting her lip slightly as she looked up at him.

Joon hwi opened his mouth to deny it but she beat him to the chase. “You don’t have to admit it, but know that I’ll make sure I pay back the debt!” Before he could formulate a reply, she started walking forward once more, leaving him only a couple steps behind.

“You owe no debt, Sol-ah,” his voice rang out as he smiled softly at her retreating figure. And all of a sudden, everything in him wanted to scream out to her how much he liked her. How grateful he was for her. How he’d always be here for her. How much he loved her.

But it was a moment too late, as he ran forward to catch up with her, as their conversation twisted towards the upcoming exams.

And yet, in that moment, Joon hwi could see the rest of his life roll out with her, whether their relationship was platonic or more.

The cold air whipped around him, soothing his burning muscles as he pushed himself into another lap around the field. It was pitch dark outside, save for the bright lights that lined the Hanguk field, the autumn wind bring a chill into the air. And in the center of it all, was Han Joon hwi, clad in just some shorts and a workout shirt, panting from the burn in his lungs.

It was almost 2 years since Joon hwi lost his uncle, and almost like it was tradition, he was outside, trying to push his body into exhaustion. The ache and reveal of who his uncle was, how he had gone against the sacred law that Joon hwi trusted so much, came back into full force around this time.

Despite having almost two years to move on from the betrayal, the admiration and the love Joon hwi had held for him, the ache still resided within his bones, awakening every single year. It was a pain that he couldn’t express, the emotions so complex and big that he couldn’t begin to untangle them in his mind. Every single memory of his uncle had resided, replaying in his mind over and over again.

His uncle lifted the younger Joon hwi onto his shoulders, running around the house in an attempt to make him laugh. His uncle comforted the teenage Joon hwi as he failed his first exam, trying to understand how he felt. His uncle took him to his office for the first time, announcing how proud he was of his nephew to his coworkers. Arguing with his uncle over the mistake Joon hwi had uncovered, gritting his teeth and trying to believe that his uncle was still a good man. Rejecting a conversation with him as they both stood in front of Hanguk Law school, ignoring the desperation on his uncle’s face. Discovering his uncle’s dead body in the Professor’s room, the shock and confusion threaded through his mind.

Each memory was clear as day in his mind, no matter how much he wanted to ignore the idea that his uncle was ever a part of his life, after understanding the bribes his uncle had taken. But then, he remembered who taught him to respect the law so much. The one that had debated every law code with him, helped him remember important cases as a high schooler when Joon hwi would ask questions. His uncle’s legacy for him was a confusing, tangled mess that hurt to touch or untangle.

So Joon hwi gritted his teeth and ran, ignoring the pain in his muscles, the sharp burn as he tried to breathe the cold air into his lungs. He shut down his mind as he pushed forward one more lap, closing his eyes and trying to distract himself from the sadness trapped within him.

He lost track of time, the sweat dripping down his body as he ran for what felt like an eternity. In a push to get out on more lap, his legs gave out, his knees hitting the turf hard the exhaustion caught up to the adrenaline. The momentary pause though gave the chance for his emotions to override him, his eyes welling up with tears as he breathed heavily, his knees burning from the impact.

Then, as he blinked away his tears once more, trying and failing to get up, Kang Sol appeared in front of him, thrusting out a bottle of water and looking down at him with such emotion, that he wanted to shy away from her gaze.

He grabbed the bottle from her hands wordlessly, as she kneeled in front of him. Her hair was askew from the wind, whipping it around. Sol was still in her plain brown sweater and sweatpants, her classic attire for school as she sat in front of him, her eyes roaming over his face.

“What,” he started, trying to catch his breath as he took another gulp of water, “What are you doing here?”

“I saw you in front of his memorial today,” she started, and he looked away, knowing exactly what she was talking about. “So, I figured you’d be here tonight,” she said simply, as though it was obvious to figure out.

“Yes, but why?” he asked, trying to press her for an answer. Sol simply pursed her lips as she looked at him, and he could see a million thoughts running through her eyes. Each emotion flitted through her face, clear as day for him to read. Still, he waited patiently for her to answer, yearning for a simple answer, a simple confirmation.

“I told you, remember? I’m rooting for you in your uncle’s place,” she said, as she looked down at her hands, tangled in the grass of the turf field. “And it means that I’ll be here for you, no matter what.”

All of a sudden, every emotion he had stuffed into a corner of his mind welled up inside him as he looked at her figure, kneeling down in front of him at almost 3 in the morning. The tears welled up in his eyes blurring out her figure and he gritted his teeth once more, as his emotions meshed into each other.

It was too much, the knowledge that she just knew where to find him, that she just knew how he felt. The idea that he was such an open book to her was so terrifying, yet it felt so gratifying to be seen. To know that someone was looking out for him, someone to protect him against everything going against him. And the idea that it all came from Sol, who had a million other things to worry about in her life, just made it all the more painful.

All he could do was sit there, still breathing heavily as he looked at the girl in front of him, still awake in the middle of the night just to check in on him, as she tangled her hands into the grass and fidgetted as if she had revealed too much of herself to him.

He opened his mouth, but he couldn’t express any of the emotion he felt, the words lodged in his throat as he looked into her knowing eyes, so he settled to grabbing her into his arms, hugging her tightly.

She landed against him in an oomph, surprised at his sudden movement as her shoulders stiffened in his arms. But Joon hwi made no move to let go, trying to soak up the feeling of holding her in his arms as much as possible before the moment dashed away. Slowly, she relaxed in his arms, her hands encircling his body to hug him tighter against her.

She was warm against him, her frame lithe against his as she fit right into his body as if she was designed to reside there. He breathed in her scent, letting the intoxicating smell wrap around him until his mind was only focused on her. Sol was warm against him, almost protecting him from the autumn chill, and it was bliss. Her hands clutched his shirt, trying to pull him a little closer, as though she couldn’t get enough and it only drove him insane.

And there they both sat, holding each other in their arms, desperately trying to cling onto this moment before it passed. He ignored every bit of his surroundings, just trying to soak in the moment until it was etched into his bones. Joon hwi would have sat there for hours, if not for the exhaustion and sleep creeping into his mind, his body almost slack in comfort against her.

As if she read his mind, Sol drew away, pausing for a moment to look at him, her thumb tracing along his jaw. He shivered against the feel and hoped Sol mistook it for the chilling weather and not because of her touch. She got up from the turf, dusting off the dirt as he sat and looked up at her, just watching her as she moved.

She juts out a hand, and he clasped it, as she pulled him up. He almost knocked against her, her body pushing back slightly against the impact, but soon they were standing in the field. Silently, they walked back to their dorms side by side, and Joon hwi spent every moment trying to soak up her presence, use her to comfort, and soothe his pain.

And in that moment, Joon hwi knew, that he could always rely on her, the same way she did on him.

It was almost 6 PM when Attorney Kang Sol A stormed into his office. It’s been a year since both of them graduated from Hanguk Law School, clinging to each other and the study group to get them through their finals. After graduation Sol took a job with Attorney Park, trying to work her way up to making associate while he took a position at the prosecutor’s office.

It was always Joon hwi’s dream to wear the mahogany robes, and it was as though his mind was always built for this job. But it didn’t make it any easier. The job was demanding, the hours long and the work-intensive as he had to pour over stacks and stacks of case files each day. It made the reading in law school look like a chapter book, with the amount of reading and writing he had to do to pick apart each case that was handed to him.

It often meant that he was seen leaving the office at odd hours, stumbling into his apartment only to collapse into his bed soon after. It meant that he had to skip lunch to meet a deadline, to make sure a case was thoroughly reviewed. It meant that he worked himself to the bone, to make sure that he can fight the corruption within Korea’s law systems.

It wasn’t much different for Sol either. The exhaustion from her work though was evident on her face, her tired eyes, and the slight droop in her shoulders a dead giveaway. While she hadn’t regressed to her unhealthy study patterns from their 1L days, it was clear that the job weighed heavily on her. Each day she was faced with an impossible case, trying to keep her morals in a world that rewarded you if you had none.

Unlike Joon hwi, who was equipped with so many resources at hand at the prosecutor’s office, she had none of the advantages. Sol had to gather her evidence on her own, often making trips and meetings to meet with victims and families and the scenes of the crime. She spent hours pouring over CCTV footage to scrounge up evidence, scouring through law codes to find the perfect one to use as a defense.

It was grueling work, demanding so much of her time and energy. Yet, Sol hadn’t changed a bit, her optimism and drive overriding any obstacle she faced. She had grown to hold her own, a lot more confident in her abilities than she had been when they met.

The amount of time he had with her had lessened as they both got jobs, unfortunately, distant from each other. Still, he was grateful that she was still in the city, and that she could spare some weekends to come and visit. She’d spend days lounging with him, making dinner or lunch, and watching some TV show as they talked about their weeks together.

It was blissful, contentment in sharing his life with hers, even if it would only be platonic. Even if it meant he couldn’t have her, he couldn’t kiss her or hold her in the way he really wanted to.

Joon hwi looked up at the woman that just stormed into his office, Sol’s hand clutched against her briefcase as he sat buried under the stacks of files on his desks. She sat down in the chair next to him, and he swiveled in his chair to face her, rolling it until his knees touched hers.

Her hair, now longer with bangs, was messy, as though she had been messing with it all day. Her usually immaculate suit was askew, her blouse crumpled slightly. And worst of all, he could see the redness in her nose and cheeks, the unshed tears building up in her eyes as she sat in front of him, which made his heart clench.

“I don’t know how I’m going to do this, Joon hwi,” she blurted out suddenly as she broke into a sob. Joon hwi blinked, taken aback by the crying woman who now sat in front of him, before the sharp pain of watching her cry flooded through him once more.

“What happened?” he asked, trying to hold back the urge to gather her into his arms and soothe her until she stops crying.

“I,” she started, her tears choking her words, “I lost the case. I lost the child abuse case,” and Sol cried harder, the words echoing around his office once more.

Joon hwi swallowed, his hands reaching out to clasp hers. He remembered this case from a couple weeks back, when he popped by Sol’s office. Her head was firmly buried under the case files, her hair pinned up with a pencil holding it all in place. It was a really important case to her, especially after her family’s past. Sol had talked to him for hours about it, how serious the abuse was and how if she lost, the mother would lose custody.

“You can’t blame yourself, Sol-ah,” he soothed, rubbing circles into the backs of her hands as she tried to calm herself, her breath coming out in small pants. Joon hwi’s heart broke as he watched her place the blame on herself, but knowing there was nothing he could do to fix it for her.

“No, because it’s my fault, I should have tried harder,” her voice was shaky, the tears still falling freely from her eyes, as she gritted her teeth.

Joon hwi moved his hands from hers to cup her face, slowly wiping away the tears that rolled down her cheeks. Then he pulled her into his arms once more, trying to shield her from everything as much as he could. Sol could only sob harder then, and Joon hwi could feel her tears soaking into his shirt, but he paid it no mind.

The affection was a pitiful attempt at comfort, knowing that there wasn’t anything Joon hwi could do for her other than to just be here. Sol was always a deep feeler, and her empathy toward her clients was what made her an amazing lawyer. She took chances on people, and she always put everything into a case, especially when she recognized any hint of injustice.

But it was also the reason why she held such pain for every lost case of hers, every case where she failed to deliver a favorable ruling. She had an impeccable memory for each other, playing through the details of every case she lost to make sure she never loses another. But every once in a while, a case like this will come across her desk and it will unearth all her failures.

No matter how much Joon hwi tried to argue that it wasn’t her fault, Sol would have none of it. She was firm in her belief that it was her fault, and no one else's, and that if she tried harder she would have won. It was a stubbornness that she held so close that convinced her that she was at fault. And truly, there was nothing he could argue against because he knows that it’s the same way he feels when he loses a case.

So he held her tight against him, her body shaking with sobs as he allowed her to feel every emotion and process everything she was going through. He tried to make her as safe in his embrace as possible, allowing her to just let go of everything she held within herself. They resided there again, with her head against his chest until Kang Sol drew away from him slowly.

“Thank you,” she choked out, her voice hoarse from the crying. Her face was puffy and red, her eyelashes clumped from the crying and his heart only broke more, watching her go through so much pain.

I love you. I love you so much Sol-ah and it breaks me every time I see you cry.

“I’ll always be here for you,” he breathed out, settling to say just this rather than the three words he yearned, ached to tell her. It was still lodged in his throat, trying to escape but the fear of her reaction and the idea of her seeing just how much it broke him to see her like this terrified him to no end.

So Joon hwi simply looked at her, trying to memorize every part of her face, every inch of her skin. And in that moment, Joon hwi knew, that he would be content for the rest of his life if he could just be there for her.

KANG SOL A was exhausted. It was her third year of being a lawyer, finally making associate at Park & co. You would think, after bringing down a congressman and solving a murder in her 1L, and taking on cases all throughout law school and beyond would make her equipped to deal with the stresses of her job now.

And if she was being truthful to herself, in some ways things were easier. She made more money now, not having to worry quite as much about her family as she used to. She supposed it was also the fact that Kang Dan was sending in support from where she was doing her doctoral work at Harvard, the missing sister finally bringing her family together. She had more freedom with the cases she chose, not having to defend scum or take cases with basically no evidence. Her friends were still thick as thieves, even though everyone was spread across the city, with their hours conflicting with each other. They held regular dinners, trying to bring back some of the camaraderies they had when they were cooped up on campus together.

Overall, it looked like she was holding it together, especially compared to her erratic life during 1L. Still, she couldn’t help but feel like she was scrambling for answers.

Maybe it was because everyone, while still friends, had moved on in some way or another. Kang Sol B and Ji Ho were set to be married, the invitations popping up in the mail out of nowhere. She supposed she should have seen it coming. The two of them understood each other in ways none of the others could. Jiho and Sol B were cut from the same cloth, so it made sense that they were able to comfort and be there for each other more than anyone else could.

Ye Seul and Bogki were starting anew, both of them just starting a relationship together. Bokgi had waited for her, to take time for herself, to find who she was before she attempted a relationship. They were taking it slow, but they cared for each other so gently and adoringly that it was clear that they would spend the rest of eternity together.

But Kang Sol was still stuck where she was 4 years ago, in love with her best friend and unable to do anything about it. She was stuck where she was, unable to make a move in fear of messing up the carefully stitched friendship she held with Han Joon Hwi.

There was never an epic love story between them. No grand gestures nor movie-like moments. It was gradually built, the two of them being there for each other when they needed it most. It was to the point where Sol could scarcely tell when she fell in love with him. It was as though her love was always residing within her, the pieces hidden deep within her heart until they all stitched together to make something that took over her whole body.

It was scary, being so in love with someone so much that she couldn’t imagine her life without them. It wrapped around any flutter or contentment she felt from being in his presence, the idea that she was so open and vulnerable to him. The idea that she had placed her heart in his hands unknowingly, and he wasn’t even aware that he could shatter it into pieces in an instant.

She supposed this was just a part of her nature. Sol was, unfortunately, an optimist. She saw the best in people, even if she was burned by trying to unearth the good in people multiple times. She used to resent that part of her, the piece of her that would rush into things even though she knew she would get hurt. But after seeing so much corruption and hatred and injustice, she realized that seeing the good in someone, and having hope for the future was a choice she had to make if she wanted to survive.

And even if she could express it, everything she felt for him, held back from him, it felt too confusing and complicated to ever express. It was too much to even put into words. Still, even with the carefully held hope that Joon hwi felt the same, she attempted to prevent herself from rushing in. She built a carefully, albeit weak, wall around her complex feelings for him, trying to keep it stuffed into a corner of her heart. Being hurt by her cases, by life, she could take. But she couldn’t afford it from Joon hwi.

She ran a hand through her hair, the other clutched at her briefcase before entering her mother’s house. Sol still lived with her, trying to minimize her financial burden as much as possible since she took care of Byeol after work when her mother was pulled in for a late-night shift. She opened the front door, the exhaustion of the day coursing through her once more as she took off her shoes to slip on her house slippers.

“Byeol-ah, I’m home,” she announced as she peered into the living room, only to be left confused when she was meant with an empty couch. Sol furrowed her eyebrows. It was rare that Byeol wasn’t on the couch, watching TV as she ate dinner prepared by their mother before she left for work.

“Byeol?” Sol called out again, setting down her briefcase and removing her black winter coat, now left in her beige suit.

“In here, Unnie,” Byeol’s voice came from the kitchen and Sol made her way in, wondering what the hell her sister was doing.

“Why aren’t you-” Sol started, walking into the threshold of her kitchen, but was cut off by the sight of Han Joon Hwi, standing in the middle of her kitchen, placing a steaming plate of food onto her kitchen table. The smell of the food made her mouth water, momentarily overriding the confusion she felt at his presence.

“Ah, you’re home. Sit down, Byeol is almost done with dinner,” Joon hwi told her nonchalantly. But she was still standing, mouth gaping at the man standing in her kitchen. He was still in his suit and tie, the grey suit set a staple of his in court. It was a set she was familiar with, seeing him use it frequently when he grilled a witness or addressed the jury. But what was shocking was her mother’s pink frilly apron that he now donned, the old apron cutting the intimidation and power that Joon hwi held in that suit.

“Joon hwi, what are you doing here?” she asked, finally able to make her body move forward, towards the kitchen table. She was still standing, staring at Joon Hwi before he sighed. He strode over to her, standing behind her as he placed both his hands on her shoulders, the warmth of his fingers searing into the base of her neck.

“Sit down and take the plate Sol-ah,” he muttered as he gently pushed her down into a seat. Byeol innocently stood up, declaring that she was finished with her food and as though this was a regular routine, Byeol made her way to the sink. Her growth spurt now made her tall enough to reach the sink without her stool, Byeol methodically washed her dishes and then made her way to the living room, avoiding Sol’s questioning gaze as much as possible.

Joon hwi had his back turned against Sol, facing the stove that held food, presumably still warm as she could see the waves of steam evaporating into the air. She was quiet as she sat, her fingers splayed on the table, and she was frozen as she just stared into his back, her eyes zeroing in on the knot he had tied to keep her mother’s apron stuck to the front.

“Here,” Joon hwi placed down a plate of warm food in front of her but he avoided her eyes as she roamed her gaze across his face. He was exhausted, that was clear

After a beat of silence, she finally gathered the courage to question his presence.

“Joon hwi, what are you doing here?” she asked, her face still held straight, trying to prevent herself from inhaling the food in front of her as hunger settled into her stomach. Her curiosity and confusion trumped any feelings of hunger or tiredness, as though she was electrified in his presence.

“Your mother called. She said she had to run to take another shift at work, and that you weren’t home yet, and asked if I could pop in and take care of Byeol until you got home,” he said nonchalantly, as though it was just a simple task. She blinked at him as his hands went around his back, in an attempt to untie the apron strings.

“So you just,” she paused, a breath catching in her throat, “You just dropped everything to be here?”

“Of course,” he answered her in the midst of getting himself out of the apron, “It’s not a big deal.” And then he shrugged as though this was a no-brainer. As though this isn’t something that made her love for him burst through the seems.

Kang Sol was frozen, her chest tight. For the first time, she could see so clearly how Han Joon hwi had always been there for her. No matter what the circumstance, he was there to hold out a helping hand, to offer a shoulder of comfort. But to be there for her family, at the drop of a hat. To take care of her and her family as though they were his own, was something else entirely.

The idea that Joon hwi, exhausted from his job at the prosecutor’s office would trek halfway across town to her home, to make her and her sister dinner at the drop of a hat. The idea that he viewed her and her family as a priority, so much so that he would be here at the drop of a hat. The idea that he would wear the old apron over his expensive suit, risking getting the smell of food and splashes of oil on it, just to be there for her.

It drove her over the edge, the idea that he was there for her no matter what. She could feel the adoration, the joy, the contentment, the bliss fill her up, from her lungs only to get caught in her throat, the emotions choking her until tears welled up in her eyes. It was too much, so much that it physically hurt her heart, her lungs, her body.

It was as though she finally saw him clearly, saw the blinding need within her to have him in her life indefinitely. For the first time, she could see the puzzle piece that she was missing. For the first time, she could see the rest of her life roll out in front of her, and she knew that she needed him by her side.

Kang Sol breathed in sharply trying to alleviate the emotions, but she knew what was going to spill out from her, finally understanding that it was inevitable. Loving Joon hwi was inevitable, and there was never a moment that she could stop herself from hoping that he loved her back.

“I love you,” she breathed out, and for the first time, it felt that simple.

Joon hwi froze. His hands had her mother’s apron balled in his hand, but his grip tightened as his wide eyes looked at her. He blinked again, before stuttering out “What?”

“I love you. I should have told you this years ago, Joon Hwi, but I love you.” Sol paused, trying to draw a breath, trying to express everything she had held inside her for years. “I used to think that this was too complicated. I was too scared, too weak. But I can’t hide it anymore from you. I love you, Joon hwi and I don’t want to live my life apart from you anymore. I need you in my life, I need you here. And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same but—”

“I love you too,” he blurted out. His hands reached across the table to clasp hers firmly, holding both of her hands tight in his. Sol’s voice felt raw, almost burning as she looked into his eyes. “I’ve loved you since our first year Sol-ah, but I never- I never dared to tell you. And god I tried, I tried so hard,” he shut his eyes once more, as though it hurt him.

Abruptly, she stood up from her seat, marching over to him in two short strides. Joon hwi turned to face her, one of his hands still braced against the table, before she brought her arms and clasped them around his neck, pulling him down to her level. And then she crashed her lips into him.

His lips were soft against hers, just like in her dreams. Without a moment's hesitation, his arms went around her waist, drawing her closer to his body. His lips moved against hers, and then every moment was filled with an inexplicable need to show him what she felt for him. His tongue ran against hers and it made her mind dizzy, her body igniting with desire.

Their kisses were frantic, filled with desire and passion for each other. She tried to express every bit of her emotions for him through her kisses, trying to convey just how much she needed him in her life. Her hands pulled him impossible close against her again, trying to merge their bodies together as much as possible.

His body felt delicious against her, the heat bleeding into her body as she moved her lips against him. His hands traced patterns up her back, trying to trace over every part of her he could reach. It was passionate and needy, as though he couldn’t get enough of her against him.

“As much as I am happy that you two are finally together, I’d love to not see you do that in this kitchen ever again,” Byeol’s sassy voice rang out, her hand on one hip as the other held a glass of water. Joon hwi and Sol broke apart quickly, his arms still encircled around her waist as her arms were clasped around his neck. Embarrassment filled the two as Byeol rolled her eyes at the two of them, before leaving the kitchen once more.

A silence stretched between the two, the just sounds of their breathing filling the kitchen, before they turned to look at each other. Joon hwi’s forehead bent down to meet hers as he closed his eyes, trying to enjoy her presence as much as he could.

“You should eat,” Joon hwi’s voice rang out, still breathless from the kiss. She could hear the vibration of his voice against him as she looked up at him, her eyes filled with adoration. Yet, neither of them was content to move away from each other, just enjoying being in each other’s embrace, trying to study every feature on each other’s face.

And in that moment, Sol knew, that she would never have to live without him at her side.

© all rights belong to sxfik. do not use header, dividers, icons, nor repost any of my writing in any manner. 

What I absolutely love about some of my favorite kdramas:

Goblin (2016): the bromance

Shopaholic Louie (2016): the fluff

Witch At Court (2017): the protagonist's character development

Lawless Lawyer (2018): how deliciously villainous the main villain was

Beauty Inside (2018): the second couple

Touch Your Heart (2019): sunny x grim reaper AU lol

Hotel del Luna (2019): IU's acting skills

It's Okay Not To Be Okay (2020): the creativity of the storyline

Do You Like Brahms? (2020): the realistic & mature romance + slowburn friends-to-lovers

The Penthouse (2020-2021): the rollercoaster ride and the absurdity of it all

Run On (2020): the life lessons & meaningful dialogues

Flower of Evil (2020): the endless plot twists

Hospital Playlist (2020-2021): the cohesiveness of the characterizations, even with the supporting & minor characters

Law School (2021): the mystery pervading the show's entirety

Tomorrow (2022): the deep, angsty love story with a happy ending

Extraordinary Attorney Woo (2022): our beloved Woo Young-woo

Cafe Minamdang (2022): how everyone's a crackhead. in their own way. lmao

I wanted to share a few words of advice with you guys for times when you feel overwhelmed by doubt or uncertainty that you might fail or it won't turn out in your favor:

whenever I feel myself succumbing to an unfavorable pattern of thinking by giving into my worries, I like to recenter myself by remembering that I don’t live in a world of facts, I live in a world of imagination and the only one who can sabotage anything is myself by what I choose to be because I am, have been and always will be the cause, so if I can pick between being accepted or rejected and the same "effort" is required for both then why would I not pick acceptance?

a lot of us self sabotage by feeding into the unfavorable scenario because we have so many reasons to believe that it won’t work out. but you don’t need to be concerned with it “working out” or not because creation is finished. you’re not "creating" a state of consciousness because they all exist within you awaiting occupancy. the means are not up to you to determine. you're only asked to accept it by claiming yourself to be via I AM.

I'll repeat this again because it's very important that you understand this: the world is a reflection of the state you choose to be conscious of. key word: choose. if you can choose fear, you can also choose love. if you can choose failure, you can also choose success. every possibly conceivable state is ready for you to select and occupy at all times. there's no need to fear the outer world since it's only showing you your self concept (the state you have selected willingly or unwillingly). when you bring yourself back to this fact, you realize that you really are above your fear and you no longer need to feel bound by it because you can always select something other than fear. the 3D cannot show you anything you aren’t conscious of being, so it’s always up to you whether you want to be conscious of winning or losing. it follows you, the 3D isn’t randomized and subject to chance, it is a reflection of you. at this and every moment you get to decide what the reflection will look like. so will you persist in desire or will you persist in fulfillment?

“Health, wealth, beauty and genius are not created; they are only manifested by the arrangement of your mind – that is, by your concept of yourself [and your concept of yourself is all that you accept and consent to as true. What you consent to can only be discovered by an uncritical observation of your reactions to life. Your reactions reveal where you live psychologically; and where you live psychologically determines how you live here in the outer visible world].”

—Neville Goddard, The Power of Awareness Chapter 2, (1952)

Because I said in the answer earlier the way is not controlling your thoughts⤵

You only feel the need to "right your thoughts" when you identify yourself with an idea. Pay them no attention. Don't fight them. Just do nothing about them, let them be, whatever they are. Your very fighting them gives them life. Just disregard. Look through. Remember to remember: 'whatever happens — happens because I am'. All reminds you that you are. Take full advantage of the fact that to experience you must be. That all depends on you. You need not stop thinking. Just cease being interested. It is disinterestedness that liberates. Don't hold on, that is all. Give up your addictions. There is nothing else to give up. You need not correct yourself — only set right your idea of yourself. Learn to separate yourself from the image and the mirror, keep on remembering: I am neither the mind nor its ideas: do it patiently and with conviction and you will surely come to the direct vision of yourself as the source of being — knowing — loving, eternal, all-embracing all-pervading. You are the infinite focused in a body. Now you see the body only. Try earnestly and you will come to see the infinite only.

Deepen and broaden your awareness of yourself and all the blessings will flow. You need not seek anything, all will come to you most naturally and effortlessly.

Ultimate: End of All Seeking

This took me hours, so I cannot imagine how long it should have taken her to write such detailed answers when only to catalogue them took forever. I did it mostly for myself so I could always come back to the response I needed and not search through 200+ posts. But I figured since I spent so long on it I might as well share. There's nothing, truly, that she hasn't given an answer for. I phrased the links as questions so that they could be easily accessible.

First, LEGEND TO UNDERSTAND TERMS.

Who am I?

What is ego?

What's it like, being your Self?

How do I stop identifying with something?

How do you become aware of something, do you accept it's yours?

Then how do I get something random (eg. a cold) if I wasn’t even aware of it before it came?

What is the 3D? How do I change it?

Does that mean I have everything I want in the 3D right now?

Why haven't my desires manifested yet?

How do you drop a belief?

Would dropping a belief be the same as accepting a belief? Is the process the same?

How can I change my appearance?

How can I stop being conscious of my old face?

What do I do when I have doubts?

If I know I am Awareness, why do I still lack things?

Why don't my affirmations work?

How to deal with situations which traumatized me? (TW: SA)

I want to change something in my life, how do I go about that?

How to make my life perfect?

Do past and future exist? Why not?

How can you explain there being no past and no future?

How to spawn things/make my results instant?

What happens to me when the body dies?

Is there ever any delay?

How to get rid of my conviction of being the body?

I've been living in my 4D forever and still no results in the 3D, what am I doing wrong?

How to have everything I want?

Do I need to meditate to discover my Self?

Should I condition my mind that I am God?

What do I do if I feel I am only halfway?

How do you practice erasing problems from the mind?

Why do I struggle with manifesting instantly?

Why am I still not getting my desires if I understand nondualism?

How to fix the separation between "me" and the world?

I can't control my thoughts, what should I do?

How do I cease to be what I feel I am?

I can't suppress my desires, help?

Do spirit guides/ghosts/deities exist?

My circumstances are so saddening and exhausting, how does one realize themselves in that?

Stop allowing yourself to be what you are not

I am attached to my character and her family, how do I get over this?

I'm sad letting go of my character, what happens to her?

If I am infinite consciousness, how can I be conscious of being a new person or having a new story?

I'm confused, shouldn't 3D be instantaneous if I have my desire in my 4D?

How do I get out of the cycle of trying to change my life?

I'm imagining myself as a person who is manifesting instead of a person who has, why can't I stop?

I have so many obligations, all I want is peace of mind. How can I be free from them?

I'm afraid of losing my mind if I believe in this

What's the simplest advice you can give me?

How do I treat the "real" world as a dream?

I only know myself as a conditioned being, how can I be the opposite?

What is realisation, after all?

How do I practice nondualism?

How can I stop experiencing desire and fear?

What prevents me from knowing my Self, here and now?

Why shouldn't I desire? I deserve the best so I should have the best

How to know my Self?

How to change the body?

How do I go back to just being "I AM"?

Can you do a guide for how to awaken ourselves and change our lives?

One concept that I don't understand is how are we as consciousness, everything?

Why am I still confused? I'm hopeless atp

What if I'm a certified non-believer?

Why hasn't my 4D come to fruition?

Is it all about having a new identity?

Can I change facts by changing my attitude?

How to be done with trying once and for all?

I feel hopeless about my circumstances, when will it end?

I overconsumed and I don't know what to do anymore, help?

4D Self/3D Self, do I exist as two people?

I know my Self but I still try to get things, so what does that mean?

I want my desires, to realize my true Self I feel like I should be in the right mental space first

No matter what, I can't make myself believe I'm my ideal person

How can I possibly realize myself as a depersonalized, universalized awareness of nothing in particular?

Why can't I get what I want by manifesting?

One thing that really bothers me is: do I have to endure the world while I know my self as awareness and disbelieve that I am Vanessa?

Why can't I change the world?

How do I get in the void?

Should I keep striving for the void?

What if I'm just not fit to know my Self?

How do I reach my higher Self?

I have a health condition that needs attending quickly

How long does it take to reach self-realization?

How to gain control over the world?

What do I tell my human Self when she asks for her desires?

What exists and what doesn't? What is real and what is false?

What am I, in comparison to the universe?

What if I'm unworthy of my ideals?

GOOGLE DRIVE

For those who are sad she left, so am I. I miss her too, but I also realize why she left. There was nothing more to say, she's said it all, we just need to listen, trust, and live in accordance with what we've found. Wish you all the best on your journey.

Here's more questions answered, if you hadn't found yours in this list. I hit the limit on links in a single post so I had to make a separate one.