Address The Feeling

I realized that I am " " and nothing really exists ,this reality is a dream, so after realizing this is just a dream. I lost interest in everything ,I just wanna be silent but these imaginary people around me think I am depressed

I also think you are just depressed. That's not knowing yourself

TOUGH LOVE. SCOLDING RATHER.

How can you ask me "How to stop identifying with something?"

You STOP?

If you're driving to New York and realize halfway that you were supposed to go to New Jersey what do you do? You stop. Change destination. Why would you still go to New York if it's not what you want?

Again, why would you add Vanessa to the "I AM" if you want to be Lara?

You ask how to stop being Vanessa - the reason you can't stop is because it's ALL YOU THINK YOU ARE.

First stop thinking you're Vanessa.

You're driving a car. "I AM" is the car. You know how to drive it because you're already driving it by being Vanessa.

Vanessa is something you add to the "I AM" and not you.

To be "I AM" you have to refuse past and future because those are of the character, Vanessa is the one with a memory/personality/habits and not you.

You are, free of any label or concept (ie. space/time) you may choose to be conscious of.

You can't stop being Vanessa while being Vanessa? It's like you're asking me "well how do you stop being Ada", I was never Ada. I choose to express myself as Ada when I want but I AM NOT Ada. You are Vanessa and that's why you can't stop being her. All your "I AM" knows is Vanessa. Undo that. You're either your Self or your ego, you can't be your infinite being while desperately hanging onto Vanessa.

HOW TO STOPPP (the fact that the answer was already up but my asks are the same... are you sure you even want it?)

Disbelieve you were ever her. See what happens.

The body and the mind are only symptoms of ignorance, of misapprehension. Behave as if you were pure awareness, bodiless and mindless, spaceless and timeless, beyond 'where' and 'when' and 'how'. Dwell on it, think of it, learn to accept its reality. Don't oppose it and deny it all the time. Keep an open mind at least. Make your mind and body express the real which is ALL and beyond all. By doing you succeed. -Nisargadatta

But you don't want to stop, you want to "get things" in the world. You struggle to get and achieve things while projecting a world full of desires. You refuse to let Vanessa go, if you did you'd have your full realization right now. Keep being Vanessa until you get sick enough. I can't sell you your Self. All you're doing is for your Self. Vanessa hurts your real being with all its limitations. She is unnecessary. You don't need her. She needs you. You don't have to do anything to her. Just see that you are NOT her. DISREGARD. SEE YOUR SELF.

What are you without all the labels?

hi :) i hope you’re having a wonderful day

you’re literally the only blogger i trust when it comes to non-duality, and your advice has been the one i’ve been most easily able to apply/understand. I hope this doesn’t come off as a vent, but it probably will just because this question is so complicated and problem riddled, and tbh idek if you’re actually going to respond, but yea. it’s like star wars you’re my obi wan kenobi! my last hope lol

basically i’ve put my life on hold and procrastinated everything i’ve needed to do. (TW: death?? health problems/sa?) I went through a really bad year, last year. the human character i identify with (non-dualistic terms, bc ik this character isn’t me?) was sa’d in the beginning of the year. really traumatic. i dropped out of school, i couldn’t go out of the house because i feared for my life. i became super paranoid. i reported it and filed charges, but the justice system is fucked so.

anyways, after because the amount of stress i was experiencing, i became very ill. my biological father wished death on me, and i believed it at the time, because my sibling wished for me to get raped, and then it happened. i can see now, how my belief may or may not have been the cause of what happened. i then got cancer. the doctors couldn’t figure it out for months, and even ridiculed me- saying how i relied on google.

i finally went to a specialist who was immediately concerned, and then confirmed my suspicions. i was sort of friends with a blogger on here who got into the void and manifested their dream life. they went into the void for me and affirmed that i no longer had cancer, and that i could tap/wake up in the void. the next day, the huge lump/tumor on my neck was gone. all of my ailments- trouble breathing, patchy and rough skin ceased. i literally told my mother what happened which made her start believing in the power of “manifestation”.

because of the paranoia, and then cancer- i didn’t go to school my last 2 years of school. i switched to online, but never felt the need to complete my classes because i knew i would get into the void. i’ve gotten into the void, both by waking up/tapping into it but i haven’t been able to change my awareness, or “manifest” bc i was just mumbo jumbing words or poetry. i didn’t apply to university, because i thought i’d enter the void before then and revise my school grades + make it so i got into the university of my choice.

now, i have a week left before i have to finish my classes- which i have 7 of them, and so many assignments. i have to move out in the middle of august because i lied to my parents and said i got into university, because i thought i would’ve already changed things with the void by now. my life was fucked, then i fucked my life. after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now, yet i haven’t. i don’t know what i’m doing wrong, because i was able to show myself the truth of reality (as lester levinson said).

i am really stressing because now everything is falling down on itself. i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go, yet it’s so hard when teachers are bombarding me with messages how i have to finish the classes, or how i have to move out soon. i know this is probably ego driven, but i feel as if i can’t see a way through because of how attached i am to this. my health has also been abnormal, which makes me fear that the cancer has returned. what should i do?? im kinda freaking out.

anyways, i am so sorry if this came across trauma dumping/venting. i am just at a point where i do not even know where to begin to conceptualize this into understanding. this took a lot of courage to type, as im a bit afraid still- that people who hurt me from last year will see this (even though i know they won’t, but still). i totally understand if you wish not to post this or answer it, as it is very long and limiting. thank you though! i hope you have a wonderful week:)

this was quite difficult to answer as i've never been through so much turmoil all at once. i hope this answer helps and you'll continue taking care of yourself! (i'm sorry i linked way too much lol just don't read it all at once!)

firstly i want you to rest.

you've been through a lot and you've also been putting off a lot to get into the void. stopping life for manifestation is common it seems, its not healthy either. so much pressure is coming from time. you put all your expectations on a method, and i'm gonna guess that you also put so much onto your mind to get you into the void.

practically: your biological father sounds abusive and so does your sibling, i would be more careful around him. idk if your not around him anymore, it sounds like it? but you need to plan accordingly for your lie. are you gonna tell your parents or ?

theres a massive chance you'll just go crazy trying to figure out all these moving parts, so i suggest do what you can and leave the rest. do the minimum to keep you safe, then figure out the rest as it comes. do whatever you need to do, just remember to not take on too much at once.

ask for breaks on work at school for medical reasons, maybe think about jobs, etc. you see how much more could come into the picture? but this is all the body-mind can do. its easy to treat it as god, but its not god.

"but i feel as if i can’t see a way through"

You fail to do the works of God, because you take the body to be God. - Ada B. [4dbarbie]

take a look at these meditations:

butter meditation

peace meditation

surrender meditation

un-identification exercise

crying meditation

i'd like you pick one of these exercises:

feel all the shit. feel bad. just do it. let all the bad feelings out. put on sad music and fucking cry. cry it all out.

let yourself rest, with no problems. if a thought or feeling comes in just let it, because its not a problem remember? :) just put on some calming music or visualise a calming place. and let yourself have some time with nothing. no conditions. no perfection. no obligations. no 'have to' 'should' 'must'. let that go for this time

feel as if you've died. feel as if you've been completely forgiven, feel as if there was a powerful white light that washed you away of all the crap. really feel as if the divine came down, hugged you and said 'i love you and forgive you'. its all over. finally its all done. you can rest. (i suggest kickstarting this with imagery or music, its hard to generate feeling such grace on you own. i saw a jesus holding a baby lamb picture that made me burst out in tears and realised that all i wanted was just to be, no obligations. i imagined waking up in a heaven, in a gaint flowerfield. do what you want)

one time i did the 1st and 3rd exercises (i made it up on the spot) and it was worth it. the next few days felt much better. its like an exercise in rebirth. let yourself be reborn.

some days you'll just do one or all 3. pick what ever feels right in what ever order. but i suggest that 'feel as if you've died' or 'no problems' comes last! the whole point is to let the painful emotion pass through and settle in a neutral or grateful place.

"after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now"

here's the problem, you went into a philosophy intending to manifest. yes,, (1) you can do that (2) its okay, AS LONG AS YOU DONT MISS THE POINT. the point being that there is no person! the character is a character, not you. manifestation is just another concept, you can use it as long as you understand that its not real. thats why i shared the BOOKS, you need to READ.

"i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go"

don't force yourself to forget (don't say you're not forcing it, otherwise you never would of wrote "TRY"). just let them be. deal with it when it comes up. the mind'll want to make a bazillion plans and stress. if you can make plans without spiriling, then do it. if you can't, don't. there will probably be some things you need to plan and thats okay. but everything else, leave it.

you haven't actually let it go, you're here in my inbox. you do not need to force letting it go. you naturally let it go by realising who you are in relation to it all. if you think you're the body-mind then its impossible to let go, because its your life and it involves you and if you let it go to shit, you might die!! - says the mind. but if you're Self, then this is not you. all those stories mean nothing compared to Infinity, Absolute Perfection and Love!

the Self is who you truly are. Self is still underneath it all, it is all. its imagining itself being a human. the character is the wave, YOU are the ocean. ultimately this is about realising all the identities, images and roles that "you've" taken on and used as reference are not you. how can a story be you? how can the past be you? are you the past? are you currently living in the past? you can be if you keep bringing it into the now.

when you stop using the past as a reference point, how much more posibilities come up now?

this is because the mind only knows what it knows. it cannot know anything more than what it knows right now. it can't access infinite intelligence. that's why it'll try to project into the future, and make plans. but it doesn't truly know. all it does is give suggestions based off the past. it is a combination of identity based off feelings, thoughts and memories that is collected and turned into a habit.

the past, memories, feelings, thoughts, identifies, roles etc all pass through you. they all come up like waves and then leave on THEIR OWN. if you hold onto these (which the character wants to do, it thinks thats all it is) it'll be painful when they are threatened in some way. a simple remark of "oh you look xxx" can be so painful for some characters because they based their whole life on a singular identity that WILL go.

Most of you can't change because you are so desperate TO change... but there is nothing to want to change. Things just are. Don't work with changing self, just realize who self actually is. [4dbarbie]

this is not a forcing thing, its just a rememberance. its done out of love, passion, a desire to just be free! with no ties to whatever identity! its takes courage, not convincing or denial.

Disbelieving you are Vanessa and denial are not the same thing. Denial is when you deny reality to something you're already giving reality to. Disbelieving was meant as an experiment, you never thought yourselves to be anything but this body, what will happen if you did? What are changes in your psyche, do you feel more confident, do you feel like you could take on the world? Don't you love Vanessa now that you know that she always was a choice? Even if she wasn't the greatest, what's so wrong with her? She is just somebody, she just lives a life. Things are only so serious when you're identified with her, you get scared, you get hurt, you feel stuck. But when you know that she can't hinder you? That she was never you? Don't you just want to laugh and hug her? [4dbarbie]

are you sure you're reading books and posts? a lot of this is already answered. your case is just more to deal with, but the point is still the same: you are not the body and mind, see what would happen if you questioned them.

just KEEP IT SIMPLE!

i'd like to leave you with this.

Once a young woman came to Hafiz and said, “What is the sign of someone knowing God?” And Hafiz became very quiet and stood in silence for nearly a minute. Lovingly looking deep into the young woman's eyes, he then softly spoke: “My dear, they have dropped the knife. The person who knows God has dropped the cruel knife so often used upon their tender self and others.” [source]

some extra resources

eft - health fear

eft - afraid to feel

we cannot practice letting go

heart of an emotion

i want to wake up with everything

hafiz - love's victory (PLEASE WATCH IT)

trust yourself

"You think you're doing it all for nothing, that's why you don't do it. But is freedom from pain really nothing? At least you are, for once in your life, sighing from relief from all this never-ending sense of doing."

health anon

apply

"All the process requires is letting go of thinking you are Vanessa."

behaviour

letting thoughts and emotions pass

challenge yourself

stories

everything brings you back to your Self

you've been through a lot and i'm glad you still are full of love! otherwise you never would've tried in the first place to change anything. use that love, take any anger and turn it into love for freedom! for Self! i know you can do it!!

also: the feeling of bad health coming back is a sign to me. you've put so much on hold: your healing from the sa, the healing from your family, the lying, LIFE in general. you can't keep doing that. turn inwards. the fear won't consume you.

Hi Kelly, I currently am really lost in my "journey" and busy studying, how will I be able to realize Self if I'm always identifying with being a girlfriend, student, daughter and a friend... Ik it looks like I'm complaining and it might be true but life is different to everyone, maybe this isn't for me. Personally, manifestation, AV y ND, was and is a rabbit hole... This past summer I decided to let go of everything and behave "normally" again, always following the hipotetic rule of "do A to get B" and I think it's working fine, life is boring as it was before. However I also really want to know self, experience it and finally understand my true nature, but I guess it will take a bit longer. Thanks for your posts

I used to think like that too until I realized it was all ego (as usual). Ego wants full realization now and gets frustrated when it can't drop its identification. During the times I was in that state of mind, I got nowhere. Sure you can go back to the world but it won't truly fulfill you, we're all looking for Self where it's not - in the world. Eventually, you'll come back to this and then be faced with the same conundrum.

Maybe it works for some but I can only speak with my own experiences. Trying to force myself to think/see 'I am not the body' straight off the bat didn't work no matter how hard I tried. However, being open to that possibility without believing nor disbelieving, and then doing spiritual practice to drop more and more ego eventually allowed me to come to that realization. It took patience. Kindness. Allowing things to just be. Accepting things as they are. Surrender. Faith. It happens when it happens. I stopped caring *when* I would be realized, I stopped looking for signs of progress and results. I stopped comparing myself to other's experiences. I stopped getting frustrated that I "wasn't there yet" and stopped defining and labelling where I was at which allowed me peace in the present moment. I just practiced because the practice itself was freeing me more and more. Then one day I found myself (the ego identity) to be quite changed, just things I could not put into words, things that are only intuitively felt but so completely throughout my whole being. Then I understood what the masters meant when they say not to look at time and that everything will happen on its own accord. The disidentification happens on its own as you let go of ego.

So I'd say perhaps you're going about it the wrong way.

If you don't feel ready to completely detach from ego, that's okay too, no judgment there - many people are not. You can work on letting go of whatever limitations you can without trying to give up the ego entirely. Everything has its own time and place. Let things be. It's not something you can force anyway, everyone comes to that decision of their own volition eventually.

I'd recommend that you stop resisting the fact that you have all these identifications, that does nothing to drop them. Just find the practices that work for you and keep dropping ego. Things will happen on their own. Also I recommend reading this and this (or the whole tag) on why mental purification (dropping ego concepts) is important and necessary. It looks like there's too much expectation in general on being able to drop the entire body and mind identification with a single thought but most people will not be able to do this. If you're unable to wipe the mind completely and drop those thoughts that are attached to the dream itself, then dropping the ego through mental purification is how you make progress. This allows more and more of Self to shine through.

Use the mind to investigate the manifested. Be like the chick that pecks at the shell. Speculating about life outside the shell would have been of little use to it, but pecking at the shell breaks the shell from within and liberates the chick. Similarly, break the mind from within by investigation and exposure of its contradictions and absurdities. - Nisargadatta Maharaj, I Am That

🍒masterlist🍒

‘The Alchemist' Series

a definitive guide to actually fulfilling your desires

you create everything - even your fear

get to the root of the desire

remove the force

master manifestor vaunt

void vaunt

asks

In some parallel universe, I know you held me tighter. You tried harder. You said, “Look my love, I will meet you halfway.”

- N.M.Sanchez, from Initial Meeting

a definitive guide to actually fulfilling your desires

"i affirm and persist all day long but nothing is working!!"

"i ignored the 3d for a week straight and did xyz whenever i could but nothing happened"

stop forcing yourself to work for your manifestations. you can do tons of methods and challenges and still see zero change in the 3d. why? because states manifest. it‘s that easy.

now, when you affirm and visualize on loop to get your desires without success in what state do you find yourself?

in a state of lack. you are affirming to GET. you should never feel like you have to WORK for your manifestations.

"Ideas are impressed on the subconscious through the medium of feeling. No idea can be impressed on the subconscious until it is felt, but once felt - be it good, bad or indifferent - it must be expressed. Feeling is the one and only medium through which ideas are conveyed to the subconscious." - Neville Goddard (Feeling is the Secret)

THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO DO IN ORDER TO GET YOUR DESIRES IS TO FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE THEM. FULFILL THEM MENTALLY. read that again. you have to FEEL like you already have them. nothing else. everything else will follow.

"The subconscious never fails to express that which has been impressed upon it. The moment it receives an impression, it begins to work out the ways of its expression. It accepts the feeling impressed upon it, your feeling, as a fact existing within itself and immediately sets about to produce in the outer or objective world the exact likeness of that feeling. The subconscious never alters the accepted beliefs of man." - Neville Goddard (Feeling is the Secret)

isn't that amazing? you can genuinely have or be ANYTHING, yes, anything, just by feeling. and it will ALWAYS be expressed into the outer world as long as you fulfill it in the inner world ( -> your imagination).

now how do we go on about this?

first of all you need to actually realize that YOU ARE THE ONLY CREATOR. the only cause. everything you see in the 3d is dependent on your beliefs and ideas. you do not have to be anything you don’t want to be. you are consciousness moving through states. read that again. engrain it into your beliefs.

i recommend doing this meditation by edwartart. it really helped me realize that i don‘t actually need to see anything in the outer world, but can instead just experience it in my imagination. and as we learned earlier, "once it is felt, it must be expressed."

this is also why you really shouldn’t care about your 3d. you dont have to ignore it, but you should never identify with the outer world. you are pure consciousness. live in your imagination as much as possible, as imagination is reality. thoughts manifest -> the dominant feeling manifests.

and instead of consuming even more posts about manifesting, go try it out. you dont even have to meditate, just close your eyes and remove the outer world from existence. then be the person you want to be. experience living as that person. you‘ll soon realize that it‘s incredibly easy to manifest and you‘ll also automatically stop caring about the 3d when you reach the state of fulfillment.

and don’t say you "cant get into a state". once you get rid of that mental blockage and ALLOW yourself to feel and experience it‘s genuinely SO EASY. don’t force it! if it doesn’t feel good you’re probably imagining something you don’t really want. try imagining your heart‘s desires. imagining is so fun. do it whenever you can, when you’re waiting for the bus, taking a break etc.

read this post again if you need to. actually understand it.

now go live in your imagination. fulfill all your desires mentally and you‘ll soon realize the 3d automatically catches up without you having to lift a finger. the life of your dreams is literally just waiting for you to experience it!

~neo

Is putting my awareness on having it the same as feeling it real? I feel like I put too much pressure on trying to feel how I would if I had it in the 3d and that’s where I struggle. I want to manifest moving out and given the circumstances I need it to reflect asap but idk how to feel it real and not panic when the circumstances are all up in my face and taking a toll on me. I’m so sorry if that was a lot, thank you so much for being so patient.

feeling it real doesn't have to feel like happiness or euphoria! sometimes the feeling of knowing doesn't feel like anything. so yes, as long as you're aware of the fact that you have it in imagination, that's enough! i have a friend who manifested her sp, and she said that the whole time she was manifesting her sp she felt anxious about it every day, but she just stood firm in the fact that her sp was hers and it still manifested!

i went through the same thing while manifesting at first. like when i was manifesting my sp a couple years ago, the DAY before he finally reached out to me i was sooo anxious out of nowhere, constantly thinking about how i much be doing everything wrong bc it wasn't here yet, how i needed to start over, how it'd be days without anything, etc, but i'd just talk to myself and be like "no im doing everything right, i already have it, im good, this isn't gonna effect anything bc its mine" etc.

having feelings of anxiety or worry is not a failure on your part, and they won't mess anything up (unless you assume they will). i've read this somewhere, i think it was twitter but i can't remember who said it, but think about anxiety. it's not logical! usually you feel anxious over something that you think will never even actually happen, but you still feel anxious anyway. or i have friends who sometimes say they're super anxious and they don't even know why. i had social anxiety as a teenager and i'd be soo anxious in social settings. what did i think was going to happen? nothing, but i was still anxious for no reason constantly. and my anxiety never manifested, because even i knew it was illogical. it still hindered me in other ways, but it didn't manifest into negative circumstances in my reality!

re-reading your ask i realize u didn't mention anxiety 😭 but im still gonna keep all that in bc i still think you/other people will benefit from those anecdotes! lol

"idk how to feel it real and not panic when the circumstances are all up in my face and taking a toll on me"

in my experience, you don't need to focus on feeling it real constantly! i focus on feeling it real while im imagining, but during the day, i just shift my state when i need to. that being said, there's no pressure to be in the state of the wish fulfilled every second of the day! the main goal is to enter TSOTWF more than the state of lack, but there's also more states you can enter throughout the day! sometimes during the day you're neither in the state of the wish fulfilled nor the state of lack. there's such thing as a neutral state! so if you're panicking and it's hard for you to shift back to your desired state, you can focus on shifting to a neutral state. you can do this by trying to calm yourself down, talking to yourself, meditating, taking deep breaths, etc. if you need to just take deep breaths and think of something else that has nothing to do with your desire, go for it!

if im manifesting something on a time crunch, it always really helps me to just deep breathe and talk to myself, saying things such as "there's nothing to worry about, its mine, it's promised, everything is going to work out perfectly, my 3D is going to change, my inner man already has it and my inner man is me" etc.

i manifested moving out and this was very helpful for me! i dealt with very toxic, narcissistic parents and my family struggled with money for most of my life. sometimes my parents would be yelling at me for no reason and it'd trigger me bc i was manifesting living in my own apartment on my own. in these times i'd focus on remaining calm and staying in a neutral state. eventually it got easier for me and i'd be able to talk to myself in my head while getting yelled at, saying stuff like "im so glad this isn't my life anymore, im so glad i live on my own whew" etc. i'd also imagine that i was just visiting home and i couldn't wait for my visit to be over so i could go back to my own apartment again.

just remember that no matter what happens in your 3D, nothing can stop you from having your desire in your imagination. you moved out in your 4D and nothing can change that! it is fact, and all you have to do is persist in that face. you don't have to gaslight or trick yourself into thinking you moved out in the 3D. you just need to stand firm in the fact you have it in your 4D.

anywayzzz i hope this helps! i hope i answered your question i fear i went on multiple different tangents lol <3

Is it me or does Jupiter in this also look like calcifer from howls moving castle

Prior to "senses"

"Be mindful not to cling too much onto labels, as attaching 'XYZ' to something doesn't make it real. Of course you can still call your bed a "bed" and your phone a "phone". What we mean is to know that every label and concept is empty by nature and within " ".

Without these labels, you're simply experiencing reality, much like reading these words or breathing, because it's infinite and effortless. What you're seemingly doing because of your uncertainty is jumping between two "illusions":

One is realizing that all is how it should be because "consciousness" always precedes "senses".

The other is thinking there are 83738 reasons as to why that can't be.

If "consciousness" always precedes "senses", then ask yourself, what are you aware of, the seeking "X" or the Knowing "X"? Do you need to look outside of you to know something? Do you need to look outside of you to know you exist?

"Consciousness" precedes "senses"; "consciousness" is "experience".

These two sentences are inseparable."

This is a pointer, not to be taken literally as a Rulebook.

original: Dawa , translated: Koda