In Some Parallel Universe, I Know You Held Me Tighter. You Tried Harder. You Said, “Look My Love, I

- how dare a defendant jump on the bench - it’s not for a judge wearing pajamas under bench to say

“Health, wealth, beauty and genius are not created; they are only manifested by the arrangement of your mind – that is, by your concept of yourself [and your concept of yourself is all that you accept and consent to as true. What you consent to can only be discovered by an uncritical observation of your reactions to life. Your reactions reveal where you live psychologically; and where you live psychologically determines how you live here in the outer visible world].”

—Neville Goddard, The Power of Awareness Chapter 2, (1952)

Love in the Air (2022) l special episode.

Hi! Ik this will sound weird and ridiculous even after you creating so many posts about things but still I as "Ego" or you can say "Vennessa" is wondering if everything this is real! I always knew about Non- dualism because it's connected to my religion but this all sometimes feels fake , is this all real right?? I feel same about shifting and some out of body things, i always manifest things faster but I do not longer want to do this all , sometimes it makes me obsessed with all methods and things, I have started to observe my thoughts and living in this moment, i was doing all that from long time , it's nice , But as soon this "I'm not this body!" That sounds so much weird to me, and believe me I feel happy with thought of being free, just being everything and no-thing together, But this stupid "Vennessa" that feels like if i won't do anything for her, who's with her? If i am not her then would she would do everything what she needs to do? I worry about all this stupid things because if i have to be stuck with this body and it's not possible then no one but "I" will get all the blame, as someone comes from "LOA 2" community this blame games never stop and I can't even do anything about it without feeling guilty , that "I" couldn't do it or yk...

So in short I'm asking if it's real? Do i have to worry about everything "Vennessa" does and doesn't because in the end "I" am being her, and this body doesn't seem to be disappear or "I" seem to shift it's pov towards just "Being"

Thank you for all blogs because of them atleast I get somewhat idea of what i am supposed to be doing/Being , also you can Yell at me lol 😭 i haven't gotten tough answers lately! Sorry this all is so dumb , i didn't wanted to be sound like ranting random things but this all was in my brain for so long, so i thought maybe you know something already and you had this question from someone already!?

!?! But thank you and lot's of love for everything you do! Sorry again and again for this random questions, and thank you thank you very much for all your blogs, I will slowly learn what I'm doing wrong,or thinking wrong, and you are helping very much! Thank you!

Listen. This is not something for you to believe in. Do you exist? Do you need to believe in your own existence to exist?

What is secondary is existing as something. For that, then, you need belief for it to be real. Of course Vanessa is real to you now, you take her for the truth.

The worries about what will happen to Vanessa... do you worry the same about what will happen with a character from a dream? You just move on with your life after you wake up... If she's not beneficial, why care? It's the attachment, that's all. That's what needs to be let go of. Nothing can happen that you do not want to happen. These fears are so irrational. For something to happen that you don't want to happen you have to give authority to something other than you, for example - the world. If you believe the world is solid and apart from you, then you'll always have to do methods and work at changining it. You will always fear it, and forever try to control it.

I don't want you to feel guilty? I said the opposite, there's nothing to feel guilty about. Worries, fears - are all justified when you are an ego. If Vanessa is a victim of something then I can't tell her that she's not - and this is what I find cruel about loa. The scolding about the 'victim mindset', that mindset might as well be justified, Vanessa could have went through the worst things and her world might really be shit. Changing Vanessa's thinking in a world that is really F'd up is no easy task, it's very hard to recondition your brain as it is, but doing so in the worst enviroment? Ten times harder. I know there were people who succeeded, but not all egos are the same. And to add to an already terrible life the guilt tripping about not doing more or blaming her for being unable to change the thinking is just crude to me. They don't understand what they're working with. That's what they've succeeded with so that's what they're pushing, but it is hard.

It's hard to be an ego, let go of thinking you're Vanessa if you want to hurt less. The attachement is strong, but not impossible to overcome when you're full of love for yourself.

I've said it before, you don't have to convince Vanessa that she's unreal. Just stop taking the thoughts you don't like for truth or reality. There is no convincing involved, it is all letting go... you're holding so tightly onto your ideas now, that's why you can't see their falsity.

LISTEN UPPP. And listen up good.

all the questions in my asks are the same worded differently. so i'll make a long post answering multiple points

The idea that there is a world outside of yourself is just your thought that there is a world. Body dies, alright? It dies. And with no one, no senses to perceive a world, the world goes as well. Both poof, both disappear.

YOU still exist. Can you imagine not existing????

Even when body, which is matter, goes, who you think you are (the personality) still stays. Here's how I know, not just from my documentation:

Before I discovered manifesting, back in 2019, I had a very poor sleep schedule, it was like 9-10 in the morning, I haven't slept all night, mentally I was wide awake but my body was so exhausted it felt so heavy on me. Mentally I was completely fine, so I had a hard time falling asleep. But I did. Or so I thought. Because as soon as I did I found 'myself' above my body, looking down at it. Reminder, I had no experience with spirituality, I watched a series about astral projecting in the past (Through her eyes on Netflix) but I won't say I believed it, or even contemplated that I could do it. Obviously when this happened none of my thoughts went to astral projection. I panicked so hard, if I had a body I would have been having 10 panic attacks a second and hyperventilating. I thought I was dead. That was my first thought. I was dead. I went from my bedroom to my parents, desperately calling for my mom, but no one was home, it was 10AM, weekday in the summer, and both my parents were at work. I was afraid to leave my parents room and go outside the house, because 1) my screaming was inaudible, even though I WAS screaming "MOM save me" with everything I had 😆 2) nobody could see me, i couldn't even see me, i was not even a cloud, i was nothing, how could anybody interact with me? 3) i was scared that if i went much farther away from my body, outside, then I would be abandoning it & really make it disappear since I was nowhere around it. What I did was go back to my bedroom, scream my name in my face telling myself to wake up. It didn't work, 'I' didn't hear me either. So my next action plan was to give myself CPR. I had no body, but what other choice did I have except attempt at resurrecting myself? I went full in, wanting to push whatever weight I had (none) onto my chest, and I... plunged. I was in the body again, wide awake now, shaking like a leaf and ready to cry. I was so panicked, I had a hard time believing I was actually alive. I was looking at my arms still unsure if I was dreaming or awake. I texted the only friend I knew I'd find up at that hour to confirm that they were getting my texts and I was real. I did start crying when I started explaining to them of how I "dreamed" I was dead. I had no other way to explain it to myself, let alone another person. That was the scariest experience of my life. I was afraid to go back to sleep. I kept my friend up with me for longer than an hour just talking to me so I could come back to my senses. I was legitimately afraid that if I close my eyes and fall asleep, I'll lose my body again. That I would die for real now. Then I settled to this being "another chance" (lol now) and I swore I'll fix my sleeping habits (because they lead me to death LOL again)

If you want more technical info on my experience with astral projecting: I could see but not as clear as I see with my eyes. The images were blurry but not blurry enough to not know where I was or what I was seeing, but blurry enough to not be able to tell if the body was breathing, hence the extra panic. (I've read that the more you do it, the better it gets and you end up seeing normally/clearly) You can check out Bob Monroe's journey with astral projection if it's something you're interested in. I can only explain it as floating in the air, I could go down or go up, change the perspective of my sight in whichever way I wanted. Body is on the ground so you know, perspective is quite limited from it. My angle was from above but I had a wider range of perspectives.

Back to the point, body dies. Personality is left. You are left with 'yourself'. But what is 'yourself' is only an idea you made up about yourself. An idea that you were born, had this body, developed this personality, and that is you. What're you gonna do now when there's no world and no body to interact with? Why stay like this when there's no one to know what you were before? You stay like this because you're attached to this personality. But being like this in nothing will get boring, eventually, so boring that you will be willing to lose this you have now to be something/someone else because it's the only entertainment you have. So you become another person, and another, and another... so many you are attached to none any more and they're just experiences YOU want to have. WELL WHO IS YOU IF YOU CAN ADD ANOTHER PERSONALITY ONTO IT?

Free will and "real" life

The free will of the character is so limited it's none. The extent of Ada's free will in making decisions goes "Yeah, I'll break up with Joe and get with Rowan. Rowan is a better fit for me because my personality is this and his is that and we go well together yada yada" Who's to say Harry wouldn't have been an even better fit, but she had no choice because she only knew Joe and Rowan. TRANSLATION: character only makes do with what it has. It's all it can do. Making choices in a play you're a part of doesn't change the overall destiny (Have you ever played any of those 'choose your story' games? They give you the illusion that the choice you make alters the character's life, when in reality most is decided already and you're making no dent in the plot). And yes, it's true that I can change the beliefs Ada has, therefore alter the plot (what manifesting mostly is), but it's a very hard process, conditioning an already extremely limited and conditioned thing. I can change her destiny only if I manage to change her beliefs (which are usually very strong and egos are very stubborn). Past is remembered all the time so whenever I try to make a change in her thinking the reasoning part of her brain goes "But HOW can I suddenly be lucky when all my life I've had bad luck? It's just very hard to believe." And it is, and she is right. And then you think you're weak minded for not being able to do it.

Listen. Your brain is a very limited thing. It stores memories and habits of this body and that's all it knows.

Mind (is synonymous with consciousness!) contains all, every conception, but identifies itself with one in particular for the duration of the play. The brain is the mind of that character, and all the character knows.

BLIND FAITH IS STUPID.

If Vanessa isn't naive or easily trusting, that girl is never gonna take some stranger's word for it that she can change her life by thinking she's gorgeous and powerful all of a sudden. She will try and try (to recondition herself and do what she's been told that works) but she doesn't really believe because she doesn't see it so nothing comes of it. Changes are small, mindset might be better (she may be overall happier depending on the amount of reconditioning of her brain she managed to do, or she goes insane and her mental health is even worse because she's always finding things to change with herself, trying and trying and trying in this never ending cycle of being better, doing more). Basically, Vanessa is doomed either way and she has limited power even when she thinks she's the shit. "Trust in God, I AM, your higher self!", "Have faith and it will work!" Well, I, as Ada, can't. I am very stubborn you see. I can't believe in waiting bringing me stuff about. Who's this higher self anyway, why is it making me wait and have faith? What's this law with its blind faith, except remastered religion?

Enough. What you are, you see. You are Vanessa or Lara, okay, you are because you believe you are. And you're right! It's true, you are, your eyes are working fine and your life might be hell 😍 what do you have to lose if YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND and think "What if I wasn't?" Streams and floods of better ideas of what you could've been/could be come through, don't they? "That's so nice if it were true🥺" Alrightie then! That must be the solution, no? Not be Vanessa? Well how do I stop being Vanessa? How (the big HOW!!) do you know you are Vanessa except by your belief that you are Vanessa? 🤷‍♀️ To know a different thing you must stop thinking this one is true first? "Got it, it's not!", "But even if it's not me I am seeing her life and her 'reality'?", "I am unaffected by the events now, but how do I stop seeing them?" Are you, though? You sure it has nothing to do with you anymore? Fine I'll take your word for it ☺️ Now start thinking you're a different thing. BUT THE SAME EVENTS OF HER LIFE HAPPEN?! Really, how so? World has no standing except for your thought of it, be honest with yourselves, not me. I'll reenact what you're doing.

"Ada, your depression is not real. Your house is not real. Your parents are not real." "Yes, they are, I see them!", "Don't invalidate my experience, I have TRAUMA😠" that's how the convo goes. Then you get disinterested in the convo, "Alright I'm tired of your problems, not me". And you feel lighter, you feel better. You soothed your mind for the time being, there's no big feelings now that you don't identify yourself with her...

For a while, because then something happens and you still believe it's there and it's real and you have to somehow deal with it. You're back confusing the 'you' with Vanessa. "I'm seeing the parents and the world again, that must mean I did it wrong?" I need to ask, seek more. Where do I go from this? WOULD YOU CARE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT, SEEING THE SAME WORLD TOMORROW, IF YOU REALLY DISBELIEVED VANESSA IS YOU OR YOUR BUSINESS? WOULD YOU CARE, I ask you.

"I don't care... but what do I do next, I'm lost🥺"

"Of course I care!!! I want a better life!!!" Who's you?, you go back to the beginning of the post again, you especially read it five times more actually.

To answer the first:

Think what you want.

Past doesn't come up anymore, memories don't come up anymore after you've ignored - detached yourself enough. They just don't. You can think freely now about being something different. If you can't, don't get mad, don't blame, only know that the one that's doubting isn't you, so the doubts are totally fine to be. They'll be for a while and then they dissolve too, because by ignoring, not getting involved - you forget. And by forgetting not only do you free up so much mental space, but possibilities of what can be become unnumbered.

All you are doing is becoming lucid. Becoming able to control the dream. You won't be able to, unless you step out of it. That is, stop thinking this story you tell yourself is true. You won't be able to get mad, sad, or even frustrated at whatever is playing in front of you, because to be involved to this extent you have to think you're it, it's an actual thing "you" are going through. That's not to say you'll become an emotionless robot (the only thing unlimited abt you guys rn is your worries, so much that i have to address them in advance), but that you will feel your emotion in the present and not remain mentally scarred by it forever. You will be able to say "alright, no more" when you've had your fill of crying, being angry, throwing a fit. Emotions won't be able to rule you anymore, right now, they fully do. You are their prisoner. Your ego dominates you so completely.

When Vanessa is no longer all you are, you'll be able to 'change reality' the way you change the film in a video projector. You'll be able to have as much fun in the play as you want to, change it when you no longer want this one specifically. The emotions of the character are fun and welcomed, because they no longer imprison you, there's the background of love to it all - that once you gain, it can't be lost, it's ever present.

That being said, please stop asking me questions about fulfilling or persisting, they're from another planet in this state.

Hey there!! I wanted to share an experience I had after reading your excerpt from The Ultimate Truth posted @4dbarbie-archive yesterday. It really resonated with me and it inspired me to want to practice conscious creation instead of letting it happen because of subconscious programming. In particular this part (which is most of the extract lol):

Man was never intended to be a victim of circumstances. He is the controller of them, but has lost awareness of this fact. When he regains his awareness of it, he again becomes the master of circumstances, and consciously controls his environment. Matter, energy, space, and time are in mind. When man realizes this, he has mental control over them and controls them at his will. Man is unconsciously determining the world. When he wakes up to this, he gains conscious control. Creation is just a mental projection.

Lester also said in the Introduction of the book that it is necessary to prove it to yourself and never accept anything completely on hearsay:

A unique characteristic of this Truth is that it must be seen my each one through his own perception. No one and no book can do it for him. Necessary is the proof of Truth, and necessary it is that each one must prove the Truth for himself. Nothing should ever be accepted on hearsay. One should listen to, reflect upon, and then prove. The best attitude one may take would be to not believe nor disbelieve, but to accept Truths for checking. Then, and only then, after one has proven them without a doubt should one accept them. As Truth begins to prove itself, one gains more confidence in it, and then proofs come more easily and more readily; until finally, one perceives the Absolute Truth, — that we are unlimited beings, unlimited in our knowledge, power and joy.

So I've understood non-duality to a certain extent starting my "journey" from when 4dbarbie was still around and it felt like I eventually came to a sort of standstill. I just sort of fell into a lull and didn't feel anything about life in general. I really resonated with the teachings, stopped desiring anything and had let go of a lot of things but still didn't really feel connected to Self entirely (it would come and go). Recently though, I thought about how my life is just a mental projection of subconscious thoughts and how I would rather be able to consciously control it. For background, I've been using energy manipulation to heal my body using my mind and I think that's when I started to truly know that everything is just a projection of the mind (there's a much deeper innate knowing that comes from experiencing it than reading something and accepting it as truth). Then I started thinking back on the things I had "manifested" simply by deciding it to be so. And then I saw your excerpt and it really clicked for me.

To me, consciously controlling your circumstances is a "skill" because we're so used to living in limitation, it can take some time and development in order to remove those illusions of limitation (of course, it needn't take time, it depends on the individual!). I know in some LOA blogs, they call it intention setting so it's within the same vein imo. Anyway, after reading that extract and reading some of the book, I decided I wanted to practice conscious creation and strengthen this innate ability in order to connect me closer to the understanding and knowing that I am an infinite limitless being. Lester said "Matter, energy, space, and time are in mind." so I want to test all these although less so energy manipulation as I have already done this in numerous ways already. To me this was easier than the others but I now recognize that is a concept of limitation that doesn't need to be so as they are all equally mental projections. And I am not doing this to "get" any desires since I don't have any anymore, I am only doing it to remember the real me and exercise my innate natural ability of conscious creation and also "prove" it to myself through experience that I am limitless as Lester teaches.

I will give one example of "success" since I started last night! There's too much background history that I won't go over but basically this friend of mine stopped messaging me a few weeks ago and this had been a repeating cycle for a few years and it used to trigger me so much. Through being on this path, I let go of caring about it or wanting things to be different. But last night I decided to use this case scenario as a test subject for practicing conscious creation because I know I used to have a lot of mental resistance and triggers when it came to this person and if I really did succeed, it would truly be proof to me that this was purely a result of my conscious creation and not anything else.

So I decided in my mind that this friend would message me on instagram, I decided I didn't care if it was a text message or sharing a reel (though he normally sent reels so that would be most likely). I could still feel uncertainty over this after deciding so I decided it would happen the next day (today) in order for the test results to be more verifiable as not having a deadline could mean he could message me next year lol, too vague. I briefly saw it in my mind's eye the message but didn't dwell on it after, I just decided it would happen. Aaaanyway, I opened my IG messages earlier and GUESS WHO MESSAGED ME WITH A REEL!! I just laughed and got so excited, not because of receiving the message itself (since I let go of desiring anything from him long ago) but because of the proof it represented of my conscious creation! I want to emphasize this distinction because I had tried to "manifest" a text from him in the same way so many times before (because it's been a repeating cycle for so long lol) but it also came from a desire and attachment for the message itself (and connection with the person), while this time there was none of that but was from a non-attached perspective of just experimenting and testing my ability and wanting to practice and improve it. I want to add that I also had previously used LOA to "reality shift" to a "different reality" where he had messaged me the same day instead of leaving me on read for several weeks through "imagination" (this was way before I learned about non-duality so it was still driven by attachment and desire) but I gotta say this way of simply deciding it to be so is so much easier, simpler and better than having to "live and persist in imagination" lol but to each their own I guess?

So anyway, this is really exciting for me and I am going to continue on this way for fun!

🥳

Thank you for sharing your experience, that's awesome and I'm happy for you! 💖 Keep having fun and feel free to keep us updated on your future experiments!

This is the post anon was talking about. I highly recommend Lester's books for those who haven't read them yet (or have but want a refresher).

Edit: Adding this excerpt from The Ultimate Truth with my highlights

I wanted to share a few words of advice with you guys for times when you feel overwhelmed by doubt or uncertainty that you might fail or it won't turn out in your favor:

whenever I feel myself succumbing to an unfavorable pattern of thinking by giving into my worries, I like to recenter myself by remembering that I don’t live in a world of facts, I live in a world of imagination and the only one who can sabotage anything is myself by what I choose to be because I am, have been and always will be the cause, so if I can pick between being accepted or rejected and the same "effort" is required for both then why would I not pick acceptance?

a lot of us self sabotage by feeding into the unfavorable scenario because we have so many reasons to believe that it won’t work out. but you don’t need to be concerned with it “working out” or not because creation is finished. you’re not "creating" a state of consciousness because they all exist within you awaiting occupancy. the means are not up to you to determine. you're only asked to accept it by claiming yourself to be via I AM.

I'll repeat this again because it's very important that you understand this: the world is a reflection of the state you choose to be conscious of. key word: choose. if you can choose fear, you can also choose love. if you can choose failure, you can also choose success. every possibly conceivable state is ready for you to select and occupy at all times. there's no need to fear the outer world since it's only showing you your self concept (the state you have selected willingly or unwillingly). when you bring yourself back to this fact, you realize that you really are above your fear and you no longer need to feel bound by it because you can always select something other than fear. the 3D cannot show you anything you aren’t conscious of being, so it’s always up to you whether you want to be conscious of winning or losing. it follows you, the 3D isn’t randomized and subject to chance, it is a reflection of you. at this and every moment you get to decide what the reflection will look like. so will you persist in desire or will you persist in fulfillment?

What I absolutely love about some of my favorite kdramas:

Goblin (2016): the bromance

Shopaholic Louie (2016): the fluff

Witch At Court (2017): the protagonist's character development

Lawless Lawyer (2018): how deliciously villainous the main villain was

Beauty Inside (2018): the second couple

Touch Your Heart (2019): sunny x grim reaper AU lol

Hotel del Luna (2019): IU's acting skills

It's Okay Not To Be Okay (2020): the creativity of the storyline

Do You Like Brahms? (2020): the realistic & mature romance + slowburn friends-to-lovers

The Penthouse (2020-2021): the rollercoaster ride and the absurdity of it all

Run On (2020): the life lessons & meaningful dialogues

Flower of Evil (2020): the endless plot twists

Hospital Playlist (2020-2021): the cohesiveness of the characterizations, even with the supporting & minor characters

Law School (2021): the mystery pervading the show's entirety

Tomorrow (2022): the deep, angsty love story with a happy ending

Extraordinary Attorney Woo (2022): our beloved Woo Young-woo

Cafe Minamdang (2022): how everyone's a crackhead. in their own way. lmao

The uncut cut scene from episode 4 I can't believe they cut the rest of the leg part off, that's my favorite part lol