True Acceptance

♡ 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐬 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐧 || 𝐉.𝐘𝐇 ♡

【Synopsis】 : a new book shop had opened on the block, and a certain marfia leader was interested in the sweet little owner.

『Word count』 : 9.01k

-> Genre: Mafia. Smut. Romance.

Pairing: Perv!MobBoss!Yunho! X Librarian!Reader

[Warnings] : Pervy Yunho. Like I mean this man is so horny for the reader it's crazy. Really shameless flirting and a lot of flustered most likely cringe moments but it's fine… I promise. Mention of criminal activity. Yunho is a classy criminal, what can I say. Swearing. Tension. Inappropriate thoughts. Strangers to Lovers?? Domestic play. These two already act like an old married couple, confirmed. Making out, oral(f). Fingering. Edging. Dirty talk. Unprotected sex.

Author note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DARLING YAYA!! I hope you enjoy this little treat. This is plot heavy. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I had such bad word vomit. May or may not end up writing another part, we’ll see ahh. Ah, i love you ♡ @skteezcursed ♡

Also this is not beta read so please be mindful of any mistakes ♡

Networks: @atzhouse @wonderlandnet @illusionnet @cromernet

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“I’m just saying why can’t you get one of the field boys to do it. You got a meeting in thirty, and I don’t see how explaining to them you were ‘out for an errand’ will solve your tardiness.” The driver scoffed yet again as he took the next right towards the new shop that had just opened a few weeks ago in town. A little book shop. There hadn’t been a proper book shop in this part of the city in years, and Yunho was immediately interested in it.

“Like I said, I want to see this place for myself. I don’t need one of those knuckleheads barging in like they own the place. And none of those bozos will ever say a word. I could be a day late, and they’ll all pretend they were just early.” Yunho rolls his eyes, taking a sip of his whiskey. He felt tired just thinking about that meeting. The one he’s been putting off for months. “Stop here.”

San sighed in defeat before taking a spot on the busy road. No one seemed to bat an eye as a black Chevy Suburban rolled up, but then again, most people on this side of town knew exactly who the car belonged to. “Meet me back here in twenty. Go grab us a coffee or something.”

“Wait but, Sir. You can't just—” Yunho slammed the door to the car. “Leave…”

-

The little bell on the top of the door rang cutely as Yunho entered the quiet establishment. There was barely anyone in here, if not no one at all. Perfect. He thought, given he wanted to be able to meet you in peace. And there you were, casually placing books in their rightful places on the shelves. You are wearing a cute sundress with an apron over it. There’s a little sun pattern all over the fabric, making it match with the pastel yellow ribbon in your hair. You were the most beautiful thing Yunho had ever laid eyes on. And the first time he noticed you were in the cafe, a few shops down. You bought a hot chocolate and a blueberry muffin. He still remembers the smile on your face when you took that first sip, getting a little foam moustache as a result.

He wanted nothing more than to kiss your sweet face then and there. So naturally, he looked you up. Finding out you had opened up this vintage-urban store. You had moved from outta town, but no one knew where, and your family and history was a mystery. Even to him and his beast detectives. You were no one. And that made you even more interesting. “Come on..just..g-go.”

You were on your tip toes trying to reach the top shelf to put a book back but you being forgetful, left the stool in the back closet and you had decided it was too much of an effort to go back and get it now. You jumping was what you resorted to. You looked like a rabbit in Yunho’s eyes. A sweet little rabbit that’s breast bounced perfectly with every hop. The scrunch in your nose and little tongue poking made him wonder what your face would look like if when you were fucked just right.

His feet moved swiftly until he was flush behind up. You felt his broad chest before you heard him as he softly grabbed the book from your delicate fingers and placed it where it needed to be on the shelf. But what ultimately caught your attention was his smooth voice. “Looked like you needed some help, doll.”

Oh right then and there you felt your life was about to change very dramatically and oh, how it did excite you. “T-thanks.”

“Anytime.” His deep voice spilled in your ears like butter, and his cologne danced around you making the outside world cease to exist. He was walking sex on legs, something out of a dark romance novel and you knew exactly who he was. “So, have you got any book suggestions?”

Your smile grew when he asked the question but Yunho was cringing inside. That was really the best he could do. He’s been watching you for weeks and that was all he could mutter up. You on the other hand, chirped, plodding off deeper into the store. Yunho followed as he watched you scanning the shelves, your fingers tracing the spines of multiple books as you passed them, your mouth quivering out the titles of each one. “Here we go!” You grabbed a black book off the shelf. It had a red misty design all around it with bold white lettering in the centre. It looks magical, like you. “This is one of my favourites. But be warned, it’s a lot of info dumping at the start. But the ending is worth it.”

“Thanks doll. What is it about?” Yunho’s smile makes your heart shake, your fingers grazing his as you hand him the book. Your throat became dry, unable to think of the right words to describe the novel…”Oh it's fantasy…”

You snapped out of your brain as you see the man scanning the blurb on the back, his smile growing into a sly smirk as he read some of the words, Romantic, erudite and suspenseful. You put your jittering hands in the pockets of your apron as you tried your best not to blush. “Y-yeah.. yes. I. It's really good. It’s got witches and vampires, all sorts of creatures.”

Your little ramble caused Yunho to smile ear to ear. The way your face slowly lit up the more you spoke about it, the dramatic movements of your hands as you used them to further express your emotion. He had come to the conclusion you were the cutest thing on the planet. And he would do anything to protect that. “Well I’ll definitely give it a read, sunshine.”

Your like deepened the shade of pink upon hearing the cute nickname that slipped from the tall man. You felt like your legs were slowly turning to jelly at the thought not only was he hot as all fuck, but he was in fact a reader, like you. “T-Tell me what you think when you finish it.”

“I shall.” His remark was quick, the smirk making your heart race. When was he this close to you? Was he always this close to the point you can smell his cologne mixing with the whiskey on his breath. You gulped, watching his eyes scan from your eyes to your lips, before letting his own by swiping his tongue across his bottom lip. “I needed to speak with you about something as well.”

His deep authorial voice rattled in your mind, suddenly shaking you from your fantasy, making you remind yourself who exactly was standing in front of you. You nodded with a small ‘of course’ before walking towards the front counter. Yunho followed you as he spoke, “I’m assuming you know who I am…” his throat felt dry at his own words.

“Everybody knows who you are, Mr Jeong.” Your words seemed flattened, almost worried. In truth you were scared, but the murmurs that circled when you first entered the city was not something you took lightly. The cruelness people spoke off. The ruthless man known as the Viper. Mr Jeong Yunho. Too young to be a mafia lord, yet here he stood, powerful, feared and wealthy. “I suppose you were here originally for business then...”

Yunho watched as you took out the logs of the shop, no longer making eye contact with him. Of course you knew who he was, why was he so stupid in thinking he could pretend for one single moment to be someone else. To be a normal guy that could sway the sweet sunflower that owns the book shop. A fantasy, he thought, one that won't come true. “I protect these shops on this street. And I was wondering if you would be interested in getting into the same agreement.” he bit his tongue, trying his best to be professional.

“And what do I have to do to get this sort of treatment…” Your hands were shaking more than you’d like them too, not wishing to look into his cold eyes. But his eyes weren't cold, in fact they were swimming in conflict. He didn’t need anything from you, just like the other shops. No, he protected people that needed it and in return he asked for their favour. Nothing more nothing less. But he didn’t want a favour from you. No he just wanted…

“A smile.” Yunho said sternly.

“W-what?” You finally looked up at him to see a soft smirk on his shaded pink features and then he replied again..

“I want you to smile.”

-

You couldn’t help but yearn for Yunho every time you opened your shop. Waiting for him to walk in through those doors like he did almost two weeks ago now. you still remember the butterflies in your tummy as he said his goodbye…

“Like that.” Your smile grew bigger as he stepped closer to the counter. “It suits you so much.” He picked up your hand gently before placing the softest kiss on your knuckles. You swore your heart stopped at that moment. “I’ll be seeing you, sunshine.”

And with that he left, leaving your blood rushing to your ears and a hefty tip on your counter.

“Hey, so do I sort the biographies by title or by author.” The young worker so reluctantly hired comes rushing in from the store room, his shirt on the wrong way and his laces barely tied… his mother had practically begged you to give him work since he was almost twenty-three and still without job experience. And now you can see why no one wanted to hire the poor thing. He wasn’t the brightest.

“Uh yeah. By author and make sure they are put in the end row by the nonfiction section, please.” You pinched the bridge of your nose as you watched him stumble away to the back of the shop, his laces making him side step.

And then you heard a crash. Followed by a quick, “I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?” You felt like you needed to ask.

The young boy rounded the shelf, looking back at you with a face as bright of a pink as the poor flowers he was holding. He had broken another vase... perfect.

“Just put it in the back.” You scratched your chin sighing as he repeated over and over ‘I’m sorry’ while cleaning up the what you’d count as the fourth vase filled with flowers. You shook your head, looking back at the receipt logbook again, going over all the money you’d have made since opening. It was surprising, to say the least, the amount of people that have purchased or borrowed books in such little time made you giddy. You felt a sense of accomplishment at the idea people were reading. The sound of the doorbell chimed, shifting your attention to a possible new customer. “Hello, how can I help…”

“Hey Sunshine.” Yunho’s face beamed with happiness upon seeing you. His casual wear catches you off guard. He almost looked normal and not some big bad mob boss who could get away with your murder. “I’ve read your book.”

“Y-yunho.” You perked, closing the logs before quickly rounding the front desk until you were almost inches from him. Close enough to smell his gorgeous cologne. “That didn’t take you long…”

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, reminding himself he had spent hours reading the book when he should have been working. But who was going to yell at him for it anyway? No, he needed to finish the book quickly so he could have something to talk about. “No, I fell in love with it on page one. And besides, the quicker I read it. The quicker I could come back here and ask you for another.”

Your face blushed as he took a step closer. You gulp at the proximity, practically feeling his body heat. His on hand leaning on the counter behind you, closing the distance. "D-do, you have any in mind..."

Yunho watched your eyes flutter close, taking in his aura. He couldn't help but smirk at how much he affected you. Infecting your perfect little innocent act, because from what he read in that novel, he knew you were the sunshine he depicted you as, no, there was a dark streak inside you, and he wanted desperately to draw it out. "I was curious if you got something more spicy. Hmm."

"S-spicy!?" You gasp, opening your eyes to gaze into Yunho deep ones, his pupils blown out, almost consuming all the chocolate in his eyes. His smile only grew, placing his other hand on the other side of your body, now trapping you between his large body and the counter.

"Oh, I know you've got ideas, baby. That book wasn't as innocent as you remember, hm." The tilt in his head made you dizzy. His face inches from yours. If you wanted, you would only need to move an inch to close the gap. To finally feel those lips you'd been dreaming about for the past couple of weeks.

"I could give you some suggestions..." You whispered your breath, mixing with his. Yunho bit his bottom lip, inching closer and closer until his lips graze yours and just enough to—

"I think I lost the log book again in the...." The young boy, frozen, almost dropping some of the books that he held tightly in his hand. Yunho sighs, reluctantly pulling away slowly. You looked down at your feet, feeling like your heart was going to jump right out of your chest. "S-sorry."

"It's okay, George. Just.. Did you leave it on the desk in the back again?" You answered the poor boys' question, making his face light up with cringe. He muttered to himself before scurrying off towards the back room. You look back at the man still caging you against the counter, but his gaze was elsewhere. On the young boy, in fact. Yunho could explain it, but he knows that kid. He's seen him somewhere. His face is so familiar yet lost. "Are you okay?"

Your little murmur caught the mob boss's attention, turning his attention to you once again. He cleared his throat before standing up straight, almost making himself bigger than normal. His gaze still flickered to where the back room was. His gut told him something was wrong, but he couldn't figure out what. "Yeah, don't worry, sunshine." He finally looked back at you, gifting you one of his award winning smiles, "I'm good."

"Well. I should be getting back to work." You felt a slight twinge of embarrassment circle in your tummy. Getting caught in the arms of a man like Yunho but being caught almost kissing him. That was a scandal and a half. Argh, you can practically hear all the old bettys in the street gossiping already. You go to turn away from him, but his hand grips your upper arm, swinging you into his chest. His free hand grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him.

"Let me take you out." He smirked.

"A date?" You questioned.

"Yes. I like you, sunshine. If that wasn't obvious enough." He could see your ears start to turn pink as you tried to look everywhere else. Your heartbeat was ringing in your ears, feeling an overwhelming sense of every emotion under the sun. He leaned closer until his lips grazed your ear, whispering, "Think about it. I'll come back Friday afternoon before you close, and you can tell me your answer."

He lightly kissed your cheek before letting you go, walking out another thought. You just stood there, shocked, thrilled and absolutely terrified.

"You can't go."

"What?" You knitted your brow as you turned to George standing in one of the aisles. He jumped, changing his expression from a plan and cold expression to one of bewilderment.

"Uh, what I mean is you shouldn't. He's not a good man." You can see his grip on the books tighten as he grits his teeth. Your expression stayed the same as you turned your back to him, opening the logbook to where you were before.

"I know who he is." Your words were cold, blunt, almost shocking the young man. He was taken aback, to say the least, but then again, he expected your response. In fact, he hoped for it.

-

Through the following days, you found yourself staring at the clock, waiting, begging for the day to end. You wished desperately for it to be Friday every time you woke up. It was finally Thursday when your craving died a little. An old lady had come in to return a few books, and she had said a fine looking man had asked her to give you a piece of paper. A letter. To say your heart nearly jumped through your throat would have been an understatement. "Hey, George. I need to do some paperwork, watch the store."

"You've never let me work the regis—." You didn't even let the poor boy finish his statement as you sped off towards the back room. Your shaky fingers locked the door as quickly as possible before you practically jumped into the swivel chair. ‘Open it’ you told yourself ‘it has to be from Yunho’. Your smile only grew bigger at the voice singing in your head. You open the paper and see it's written in the most beautiful hand writing you've ever seen. It read;

To my sunshine,

Even though our interactions have been brief, I have to confess that crossing paths in your bookshop was not the first time I've noticed your beautiful presence. I first saw you in the cafe, three shops down. The way you were lost in your book while sipping on your hot chocolate made me want to dive into your mind and see its wonders. Curious what could be lying within… You’ve been on my mind ever since. I have found I am unable to sleep at night without the thought of you. Call me old-fashioned with this letter, but I needed to get this off my chest without blabbering like a fool in front of you. I can't wait for our date tomorrow that I know you’ll say yes to. But until then. A gift…

You look at the bottom of the page and note there is a phone number. If the confession of love wasn't enough, him giving you his number was certainly going to kill you. You had already planned to say yes to his date but now an idea sparked in your mind. In truth, you have found feelings towards Yunho, like you had been made for one another. No amount of time, whether little or long it was, you know your feeling would stay the same. So you wanted to take the reins for once, even if deep down you knew you wouldn't be able to hold them for long.

Sunshine// I got your letter. I want you here out the front by 6 pm, wear something casual.

You left no room for argument as you shut your phone off and held your head high. George’s expression of unpleasantness couldnt… wouldnt, stop you from the growing butterflies in your gut. You were finally going to be happy, and Yunho was the one going to give it to you.

-

You swore it wasn’t this cold yesterday afternoon, the keys almost sticking to your ice cold fingers. You checked the locks to the doors one final time before letting out a sigh of relief and nerves, ready to call it a night. “Well hello, Sunshine.”

You turned with a smile, seeing the man of the hour. He was wearing a less-fancy dress suit. No tie, or cuff links. You couldn't help but giggle. “I said casual wear Yun…”

“What do you mean love? This is casual.” He chuckled, taking two large steps to you, closing the gap. His hand snuck around your waist, squeezing the flesh on your hips. “Where are we off to tonight?”

“A surprise. So you’ll just have to trust me.” You giggle, your palm resting on his chest. You could feel his heart racing a million miles, yet he looked so composed. But then again in his field of ‘work’ he needed to show almost no signs of emotion.

“I’d trust you with my life.” Yunho had never used those words so lightly, but it was the truth. He couldn't explain it but he could easily lay his life down for you. You could crush it if you wished and he wouldn't say a thing. You blushed at his confession, reaching on your tiptoes you kiss the rugged man's cheek, before pulling away towards the street.

“I loved your letter by the way.” And with that you turned to start walking, letting Yunho trail after you like a love sick puppy.

“Just this way…” Yunho followed you curiously as you weaved through the streets. There were no restaurants or diners around in this area he knew of and given he owned half the city he should be aware of almost everything. So where on earth were you taking him? You turned your head over your shoulders spotting the confusion on his face, you couldn't help but giggle at his wide boba-like eyes. You outstretched your hand, waiting for him to take it. Yunho swore he felt his heart stop when he locked his fingers with yours. Yunho has never put this much trust in a person before and yet he has found himself being led by you through the front door of an apartment complex and up three flights of stairs before coming to a stop at a door that read 117. “I..”

All the words you had prepared to say had suddenly flown out the window as you slotted the key into the lock. Yunho’s smirk grew as he watched your brain scramble, finding enjoyment in watching you squirm. “And here I thought you had an innocent date planned. But my cheeky little sunshine just wanted me all to herself, hmm?”

“N-no!!” you whipped your head to his direction, leaning against the door with blush riddled on your cheeks. “I-i just wanted to make you a home cooked meal. I-i prefer cooking over going out.” You dipped your head to the ground feeling a little ashamed of your introvertedness. Bringing such a dangerous man home wasn't exactly the thought that crossed your brain when you thought of this evening. In truth you were only thinking about treating him to your cooking, something you took pride in. “I’m not very good with other people.”

He brought his hand to your chin, lifting your face up so he could look at you in the eyes. There was no judgement in his soft gaze, heck even his killer smirk was now only a small simple smile. “As long as I'm with you, we could be doing anything, besides…” He leaned down to give the side of your face a kiss before whispering, “I’m not one for crowds either.”

You gulped, nodding slightly as you turned back to open the door. Yunho’s gaze shifted from yours as soon as he heard the creek of the wood, finally getting a peek inside your little place you call home. Your place was riddled with a vintage, cottagey-like aesthetic. It was like Yunho had stumbled into a fairies hut that was hidden away in the woods.the smell of your salt lamp was strong but not as strong as the calming lavender. He felt like the air around him was giving him the warmest hug. Everything was soft, cute, and dainty… just like you. You lead him deeper into the apartment, letting him take the lead once you get to an archway. It led into the lounge room he found, spotting the emerald couch and various bookshelves encasing a tv cabinet. “Uh..I… make yourself at home, i just got to put away some things and i’ll start to prepare dinner.”

You scurried off before he had the chance to protest, not that he would have that is. He was almost scared to take a seat, his black on black attire completely stuck out to the surroundings. Slicked back hair, expensive accessories, shoes worth more than most of your furniture… He was so out of place. Taking a seat he felt himself sink into the cushions. He was being bombarded by plushies falling onto him as he shifted to get comfortable. Everything smelled like you, sweet, sugary, a hint of freshly baked goods and old books. He couldn’t help him, leaning down he brought his face to a blanket you use regularly when lounging on the couch. He took a deep inhale. ‘God help me’ he'd think to himself as his fingers tangled in the soft fabric, feeling his hips twitch at the thought of your scent round him. Paint him as a pervert, he didn't care, all he cared about in this moment was the feeling of you. Craving, begging to see if he could have you as more.

A loud clunk caught his attention, making him snap out of the haze clogging his mind. He’s never sat up quicker, swiftly moving towards the kitchen to only find you with a pot on the ground and the lid firmly in your hand as if you were using it as a shield. “Whoops…” was all you could mutter, feeling like your nerves had been shot from the loud noise. Yunho scooped up the pot, trying to see if you were okay only to see your face completely red. The same red as the tomatoes on the counter. “I can't stop my hands shaking,”

You tried to laugh it off lightly at how nervous you were with such a man like Yunho being in your house. You were starting to regret bringing him here and wishing you just sucked it up and took him to a restaurant instead. Yunho's free hand placed itself on your upper arm, gently rubbing up and down on your soft skin before giving the flesh a squeeze. He hadn't even realised you were dressed in something different, another sundress, but this one was black with lace accents on the hems. the ribbon holding up your hair matched it accordingly. “Hey It's okay. Just take a deep breath, baby.”

Him calling you all these pet names weren't helping but you obeyed him as best as you could nonetheless. “I just feel a little silly bringing you here. You know since we barely know one another and I don't want you to get the wrong impression…”

“And what kind of impression would you be giving me, hmm?” He didn't mean to come off as teasing but his deep tone caused him to always sound alluring.

“I..uh. That I wanted to just get you to my place to sleep with you. Cause that's not the reason i just really dont l-like—” you stopped rambling as soon as your eyes met Yunho’s. His dark blown out gaze causes your words to get caught in your throat.Yunho had put the pot down a while ago, his spine straight as he stepped closer. You instinctively took a step back and then another before your hips made contact with the counter. Yunho placed a foot on either side of yours and his hands on the marble behind you. You were caged.

"And what if that was the reason? Would it be so bad?" It was like his voice got deeper, more sultry as he took a deep grumbling breath, taking in the scent of your perfume and shampoo.

"I j-just don't want to ruin anything we could have." You whispered, your eyes fluttering close. But Yunho simply stared holes into your flesh, like he could see straight to your soul. This cute little thing in front of him wants more than a hookup? Wants to actually get to know him? He doesn't know if he had just won the jackpot, or this was, in fact, a cruel dream he hadn't woken up to yet.

"Trust me, darling. Nothing you can do will ruin anything between us..." he leaned down to your ear, "Even if it's sex."

You choked when you heard him groan that unruly word. Your hand clapping over your mouth to hide your gasp. Never in your life have you been put into a situation quite sultry as this one. The men you’ve dated were only stereotypical, self-centered or mama’s boys. Worse if they were all three. But Yunho was different. He is no gentleman but yet, if you asked for the moon he would do anything to give it to you. He is not a nice man but if someone were to hurt the old lady that runs the little shoe shop down the street he would not be afraid to kill the fucker who did her wrong. He is not a lover but he’d be damned if he didnt wife you up the moment he could. Yunho was different and that's why you had quickly fallen for the man even if those around you did not approve. “W-what if I were to ask for more tonight. Not just dinner…”

Yunho’s heart stopped, he was sure of it. His body moving closer his lips inches from your own, “I would give anything your pretty little heart desires… all you gotta say is, please.”

You opened your eyes to see his dark ones locked on you. Moving your hand slowly, you snaked them gently around his neck, feeling his soft locks tangle between your fingers. “Please…” His lips locked onto yours, stealing the yelp from your throat. His hands that were gripping firmly on the counter now tugged at your hips, bringing you flushed against him. You could feel his body heat pool where you needed him most. You’ve never been kissed like this before. The softness with pure desperation lingering. It was as if your nerves exploded with little fireworks across your spine as you shiver under him. “Y-yu..y..” He was quick to swallow your cries, using his leg to spread your thighs more so he could easily slip between them.

“If we keep going, We aren't having dinner.” Yunho groaned against your tongue, pulling away with a tug on your bottom lip. He could hear a slight ring in his blushed ears, feeling his whole body shaking, craving to keep going. But he needed you to take the lead. Tell him what you wanted… for now.

“My bedroom is the first door on the left.” Your smile seemed to be contagious as Yunho couldn't help but give you a cheeky little smirk in return. He wasted no time in taking a hold of your lips again, but this time he took a step back, letting you both shuffle ungracefully towards the hallway. You huffed as you almost tripped, giving up with the kiss. You grabbed a hold of his hand that was still tightly against your hip, intertwining your fingers withs his. You both stood there for a moment. Nothing but battered breath and racing heart beats could be heard. It was like the world had ceased to exist around this very moment. His hazy gaze travelled from where you were both connected, up your soft arms, until he reached your lips. They were swollen, puffy and pink. Beautiful… Yunho thought. Everything about you was simply beautiful.

You gave him a soft smile, one he has never seen ever pointed in his direction, and with your hands tightly interlocked, you lead him slowly into your bedroom. A shy grin decorated your features. Something that Yunho's dark stare didn't linger from, as if he needed to map out every curve and twist to keep it perfectly accurate in his mind for years to come. From the intense gaze, you look away and towards your bed.

As soon as you opened the door, Yunho was met with the sweetest scent. It was so much stronger than the one that painted your apartment. Strawberries, vanilla, and brown sugar. The room wasn't much different from the rest of your place. It was neat, tidy. But there were blankets and plushies galore on your bed. Like a little nest to keep you safe from the outside world. The bedding was a forest green that matched the similar greens on your desk that sat in the corner. You, of course, had a bookshelf in here, too, filled with a number of different kinds of novels. Yunho reminded himself to bring up the one you recommended to him when you first met.

"Cute..." Was all he spoke, making your red face become even more hotter. You turned back to him, seeing his gaze glued to you, eyeing you with a devilish smirk. "...Just like you.”

Yunho lowered himself to place his lips on yours in another heated kiss. His hands wandered lower and lower, making your own fly to grab his shoulders. He backs you up slowly, step by step. Your hazy mind was too focused on the deepening kiss to notice any movement. It wasn't until you were suddenly startled by the edge of the bed hitting your thighs that you pulled away from the man in front of you. Yunho didn't hesitate to push you back gently. The little yelp that escaped your throat would have sounded pathetic if in a different scenario, but Yunho couldn't help but groan in response to the sound. Before you could protest anything, Yunho quickly stifled any noise as he followed you to capture your lips once more in a fierce kiss.

Teeth clashed against each other, and tongues danced like there was no tomorrow. It was like Yunho couldn't get enough of you. He needed to taste you in every way possible. The whimper that slipped from him as his mouth ventures lower to your jaw, biting and lapping at your skin. Then the same is done to your neck, your collarbone, all the way to the part of your breasts that was exposed by your sundress. You gasp, tipping your head back onto the plushies behind you while your hands loosen from the fabric on his shoulders.

Yunho suddenly stopped, his dark gaze looking up at your flushed expression. You're as red as a tomato with glossed over eyes, and God is it a delicious look on you.

"Such a pretty little thing." He groans, his voice all but a hushed whisper, slowly snaking his hands to your knees, playing with the lacy hem of your dress. "May I, Sunshine?" You nodded while biting your lip, a little too enthusiastically, shifting a little side to side. You tried to ease some of the ache between your legs.

“Use your words, Darling,” He grins, his touch unmoving.

“Please Yunho,” you finally squeak out. He shifts his body lower until he is snuggly between your legs. The sight of him looking at you through his lashes while his tongue coaks a thin layer of spit on his lips was enough to make you wet. You shiver as his large hands run from your knee, up your thigh, under your dress before returning back to your knee, tantalisingly. As if marvelling at what was before him. What you were gifting him. He does it again, this time letting his finger tips linger a little bit longer on your inner thigh before pulling away completely, leaving a thrilling chill to run down your spin. “I need you…”

His ghosting hand places itself back on the soft parts of your thighs, squeezing as he heard those three words slip from your pretty mouth. “You need me, sunshine? Need me to take the ache away? Tell me what you need, baby.”

“I want you to taste me…” You felt shy whispering such filth but Yunho on the other hand, simply raised an eyebrow at your daring comment. It was something so daring it brought a smile to his older features. His little sunshine wasn’t innocent and he was slowly drawing the darkness out. His thumbs hooked on the edge of the dress hesitating before pulling the fabric up, agonisingly slow.

“Hmm, I knew my girl had a dark side.” He spoke with a lightly chuckle escaping his reddened lips from him biting them in anticipation. My girl…those words played in your head on loop, like your new favourite song. My girl. Argh you would never get over him saying that. He hikes your dress up higher to reveal your cute purple panties with a deep wet patch on them. You’re soaked right through. It was like he couldn't help himself, taking his pointer finger he pressed firmly on the patch watching the fabric stick to your core. He couldn't help but groan, “All this talk and here you are…dripping.”

Yunho dragged you underwear down your thighs. The cool air that crept from your bedroom window immediately hits the warmth of your core below. His fingers snatch the fabric clean off your legs, flicking them off to the side somewhere before his lustful gaze finally sets on the prize he had been yearning for ever since he first met you.

He swipes his thumb over your aching cunt, collecting some slick with his finger. It sent a jolt through you, your thighs twitching without your control. He coated his fingers more, watching your juices spill down his digit onto his knuckles. He does it once more for good measure, this time rubbing over your clit to earn himself a delicious whine from you. You grip at the bedsheets, widening your legs further for him unconsciously as he continues to play and rub at your clit just right. "Fuck...Yun."

"That's it sunshine, feeling good?" He chuckled watching you flinch as he pressed harshly on your clit. He snaked closer before his face was inches from you. He blew onto your wet lips, causing a gasp to leave you, but the gasp quickly turned into a high-pitched whine as you suddenly felt the warmth of his mouth upon you. He begins to lap up your pussy all the while still harshly circling your clit, moans escaping your parted lips. The noises turned into something desperate when the thumb was replaced by his firm tongue, pressing down and licking at your swollen bud, again and again. Yunho groaned against you, bucking his hips into the mattress at a stuttering pace. You took notice of his whine, feeling another one while he ground his hips just right against the sheets.

"Please, yuyu, t-that. I..ah."

You've never had any man pay this much attention to you before, let alone find enjoyment in eating you out. You can feel yourself becoming absolutely soaked just under the sensation of his mouth. Your legs quiver and shake, unable to control your movements as you feel yourself tip closer to the edge.

You try to take a deep breath. Feeling yourself already so close has made you feel slightly embarrassed. But as he sunk his long finger inside of your cunt, all the nerves seemingly washed away. Another one slid in easily and "Nh-ah YUNHO!" He curls them upwards, right to the spot that sends a spark of electricity crackling through your core.

He begins a steady rhythm along with his tongue continuously lapping your clit like he was a starved man taking his fill of a goddesses nectar and you're unable to control the noises and pants that fall from your throat. You grip one hand into the sheets as flies to grab the back of your thigh. lifting your leg up further to give him more access. You need more. You craved more. You've never felt this good before, and your being was demanding to be selfish for once.

He added a third finger as if he knew you needed something more. It made your head slam into the pillow behind you, turning to almost shout into the soft cushioning, muffling yourself for your poor neighbours. He works up a good rhythm, finding what buttons to push, succeeding in getting to know what your body wants. Groans from him and other lustfulled sniffles fill the room, as your thighs clamp down around the mob boss's head, keeping him where he is.

He could barely breath as your hips buck against his soaked face. But he couldn't care less. In fact, he would be happy if he died like this. In between the legs of his best girl, his pretty little sunshine. You felt like you were about to explode but the euphoria didn't last long as Yunho used his free hand that had been holding onto your outer thigh to pull your legs apart, holding them in place so he could sit up slightly. "You close, baby? Do you need to cum?"

"Yes!" You answered in a choked whine needing to feel his mouth on you once again.

"Yes, what sunshine?" Normally, he would be one for punishment, and given you kept breaking rules, he was most certainly craving to punish you. But it decided to let it slide this one. He has more than enough time to mould you and shape you into his perfect angel later. But for now, he'll see what type of filth he can draw from you.

"Yes, please, Yunho." Your glossed eyes finally opened for the first time in what felt like years, your tears clouding most of your vision but you could still see the darkness in Yunho's gaze and how his chin was dripping with slick. Your slick.

He drove his fingers deeper, his knuckles brushing your walls as he slammed his digits in a calculated thrusts. Harsh, slow, and powerful. You become louder, needier, and you can’t get your breathing under control. You’re teetering right on the edge. Ready. Right there and then...

He stops.

His glistening face had the cheekiest, wet grin across it like he felt proud of edging you. You on the other hand looked almost shocked panting louding, heart beating in your ears with flush brilliant red cheeks. You lick your lips as you run your hand over your mouth before raking it through your slightly dishevelled hair. Your eyes grew narrow as you stared at the man between your shaking legs. He holds your thighs apart so you can’t clamp them shut to try and stop the intense tingling between, causing you to huff in frustration.

“Don’t need to ruin the fun now, princess,” he inquired as he stood up off the bed, towering over your weak looking frame. The moon light that was pooling in the room caused his shadow to engulf you, covering your body in his darkness. He looked powerful. He looked dangerous. Like the man everyone warned you about. The feared mafia leader of the Destiny clan. He pulls you by your ankles, yanking you until you were sitting on the edge of the bed. His hand gripped the back of your neck gently bringing your face to his so he could kiss you. But you kept your hand over your mouth, your other hand coming to place on his chest, holding him firmly in face with a hidden smirk.

“You are a cruel man.” You gestured to him not letting you finish, but in truth, the word cruel hung in the air like thick tension. Cruel. A word he was sadly used to. But not in this kind of way. It almost delighted him. You felt your heart jump as he raised his brow, coming closer so that he’s only a hair’s breadth away from the back of your hand. His dark eyes roam over your face, taking in every detail.

“Hmm why? You taste so sweet,” He bit his lip, “I want you to have a taste?” He mimics what you asked prior. You swallowed thickly with wide eyes nodding shyly. Slowly, you moved your hand away as he paused for a moment, just to see your flustered face once more. “Cute…”

He dives in, kissing you, lapping at your lips. His teeth nibbling, and his teeth clashing against yours. You could taste the muskiness of yourself on his tongue, the sweetness that lingered. You deepen the kiss, allowing his hand on the back of your neck to hold it still in place, giving up any power to give him everything of your being. Your hands shift to his shirt, catching the hem between your finger tips before tugging at the fabric. He seemed to get the gist as he pulled away for only a mere couple of seconds to pull his shirt off, snatching your lips against his once more.

Your fingers trace his body with your sight, feeling all the bumps of scar tissue and muscle. More proof of his status, of who he really was. But yet you still couldn’t pull yourself away. You’re not sure if you ever will. “Yu..” You huffed against his lips, “Yun I..”

He pulls away, letting his nose rub against yours while his eyes stay tightly sealed, taking in the moment like he was never going to be able to get it again. “What is it, my sunshine.”

“I need you… please.” You voice was barely above a whisper, only you and him being able to ever hear your little plea. His smile. His addicting smile made the butterflies in your tummy swoon. His hand that was firmly on your neck slid down until it found the zipper to your dress, playing with the metal between his digits.

“Can you stand?” He gently asked, waiting for you to nod a small ‘yes’. He helped you stand, the backs of your thighs still tightly against the edge of the bed, as if they were helping you stand. He finally pulled away, letting your eyes wander down his toned, damaged chest. He had tattoos up both arms, one of his right peck and one faintly sticking out on the top of his low slacks. You licked your swollen lips unconsciously as you gawked at him. Yunho on the other hand couldn't help but grin sinisterly at your reaction, delicately grabbing the zipper on your dress, he unzipped it until the straps of your dress loosened and fell from your shoulders.

The fabric pooled at your chest, your arms tightly holding it in place. “I…”

“Are you okay, love?” Your eyes snapped to his deep chocolate ones when he called you ‘love’, feeling your nerves crackling like fireworks. He tilted his head to the slide marginally, his smirk fading to a simple smile but his eyes never dimming their darkness. His hands gripped tightly onto his belt, unlooping it before throwing it somewhere in the room. He had made you watch his every move as he unzipped his slack unhurriedly. He could see the darkness begin to cloud your colourful eyes, your pupils growing large as the fabric fell to the floor, leaving him in his boxers. “Your turn.”

His voice somehow got deeper. His fingers gliding along your goosebumped skin. You took a deep inhale through your nose before letting your dress drop, pooling at your ankles. "Fuck..."

"Yun..." You dont even know why you called his name, but he was immediately on you, his one hand resting on your bare hip while the other effortlessly unhooked your bra in one quick snap, watching your plump breast spring free. He almost bent you in half when he brought his face to your tits, taking a deep breath, smelling your perfume on your sweaty skin. His tongue licked along the valley, groaning as he latched his mouth to your left nipple. "Fuck yuyu, nargh."

Your hands tangled in his hair as you feel back, dragging him with you as you fell on the bed with an 'oof'. He used his strong arms to throw your body upwards until your head hit the pillows, not leaving your breasts alone. He painted every part of skin he could with beautiful purple marks. Neading your chest, tugging on your nipples and wetting every surface. You could lay here and suck your tits for hours if you let him. But he knew you needed more. He needed more. Feel what it's like to be inside you.

"Such perfect tits. A pretty body. Everything about you is perfect sunshine. Hmm. My perfect girl." His praise made you whimper, a tear creeping out the corner of your eyes. You've never had someone say such kind things to you, praised you the way Yunho has been. For a cruel man, he was the kindest person you've ever met.

"Yu..yunho, please. I need you inside me." You whispered, tugging his head up by his hair so his lips were inches from your own. He gave you a small peck before sitting up slightly so he could wrap his legs around his waist, sliding the tip of his cock along your folds.

“Whatever my girl wants, she’ll get.” He sunk inside your soaked cunt inch by inch, bit by bit, until he bottomed you out. He shivered at the feling of your warm walls clenching tightly around him. His eyes squeezing shut and face burring in your neck. He could feel the coil in his gut already tug. he was going to cum any second and he felt embarrassed how quick you’ve made him feel like he had died and gone to heaven. “Fuck sunshine, you feel so nice. You’re pussy is sucking me in ngah.”

“Yunho please move.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, grinding upwards onto his public bone, feeling the friction ease the ache only just. It was like a switch went off when Yunho heard your little plea, snapping his hips into yours are such a pace it caused the air to be snatched out of your lungs. If you werent being fucked by the inch of your life you would of felt sorry towards your neightbours as a string of cries, swears and pet names bounced off the thin walls of your bedroom. Yunho drug his nails in the soft flesh of your waist, surely creating deep indents that you’d been flaunting for days to come.

You’ve never felt such a connection to another person before let alone a man. You were brought up with the idea that love didn’t exsit. That it was only a dream that settled in the books you’ve read. But the way Yunho made you feel, the way he made you want to feel. It was like you were in those books you’ve read.. “Yu..Yu I—”

“It okay baby. Let go. I wanna feel you cum around my cock.” He sat up just slightly grabbing both of your wrists he held your hands above your head, lacing his fingers harshly around your appendage. Bending one of your legs over his shoulder, he jackhammered into you at a sped that was just what you needed, feeling his waist grind on your clit, giving you the right amount of simulation to let go. “That’s it, darling.”

Your foggy eyes, riddled with tears, stared up at Yunho’s never leaving his gaze. He watch every detail your face made as you came crashing down from your high. The way you brows cross, you mouth hung only ajar and savlia dripping down your chin. You were the hottest thing he had ever laid eyes on, he was certain. “Fuck, sunshine, can I come inside you. Can I feel this pretty pussy up?”

His eyes begun to flutter closed as he felt a rush of need spill down his spine. You whimpered out a daring ‘yes please’ making him bust his load deep inside you, coaking your walls before some of his cum leaked out around his cock that stilled in you. Clouds daced around you, the softness of air tickling your sweaty flesh. Every nerve in your body was on an all time high and it was all thanks to the dangerous man above you. Yunho had let go of your wrist, kissing each one tendly. You simply lazily watched him, basking in the moment, never wanting it to end.

-♡

hey ada i need advice, i want to create me waking up to my ideal life ive been through the law of assumption and everything like that and am learning how to drop that there is something to get but whenever i would wake up and still see something undesirable i would attempt to change my consciousness and remind myself i am that of which i want to be but its only a temporary relief, i know i control/decide everything by being aware, do you have any tips for paying the the things you dont want any mind?

I don't like repetition, it keeps you in lack. Do you need to remind yourself that you are a man or a woman?

My tip is to realize your self, have enough courage to face Vanessa's fears. See how unnecessary is to pay them any mind at all.

After you realize yourself any bold assertion does it. There's no time delay.

There was one person which got mad I blocked them because they corrected me in the comments when I said that unbotherdness comes first and said there was no reason for the scale of emotions I shared. I won't stand for any spreading of misinformation on this page. It's impossible for indifference not to come when you see you aren't that. When you see the desires and fears aren't yours. This is not an opinion, this is what happens when you do it. You get uninterested naturally.

Act like this, and from this. That's my only tip. Let go of thinking you are this little helpless thing already.

Too 5 horniest sex scenes

There were actually a lot of really solid sex scenes this year. For you, I will cheat and add extras.

Masumi and Ritsu in College in The End of the World With You

I actually think these are better in retrospect because we got to see what these two look like ten years later.

Yang and Phumjai Knocking Down Their Own Store in Love in Translation

I just know this was a fantasy for Yang and he absolutely still has that footage somewhere. They both had beds upstairs!

Namnuea Showing Sailom the Real Him in Wedding Plan

We did not get enough focus on characters who have experience sharing that with each other.

Kim Sung Min and Yoo Joo Hyuk in Love Class 2

We don't often get solidly built boys together in BL, and once again we got two men who knew how to fuck going at it.

Boston and Top in that Car in Only Friends

Top was trying to send that boy into orbit the way he jackhammered him! You know Boston's ass was clean and ready for this moment that he orchestrated.

That First Night Between Nail and Him in For Him

Nothing like a rebound hookup. Bonus if he looks exactly like your ex, amirite??

Saengtai Blowing Patts in La Pluie Ep 7

There's an extended version of this in the special episode on iQIYI. You should check it out. My man Patts was about to lose his mind in this and got what he needed to keep going.

Kon Diao and Yi on the Couch in Naughty Babe Ep 6

Let us never again mention the thumb incident in episode 8. Instead, let's talk about Kon Diao taking charge in this scene and blowing Yi so good that he had to keep his socks on.

King and Uea Explore Kinks in Bed Friend

King was trembling in anticipation when he shared this with Uea.

Ask Me Top 5 BL 2023 Anything

Wow

Hi, i hope you're doing well.

First i want to say that i genuinely don't mean to trauma dump, so im sorry if it comes out this way. I just would want to get an advise on my specific situation. So the thing is that im ill and i have less than three months left and im panicking. I know you're probably going to say something like "time doesn't exist" but this doesn't make me feel better. I know that it's Vanessa who is sick and i try to remind myself everyday, but i feel like im just lying to myself. Every time when im dealing with pain, i try to remind myself that it's not me who's feeling pain, it's Vanessa, but i CAN'T convince myself at all. I know that im just awareness, the observer, and whatever i put my awareness on exists and what i take my awareness from, doesn't. So i just have to take my awareness away from this sick Vanessa and put it on the healthy Lara? But how? Or do i just keep doing what im doing, keep telling myself that im not Vanessa, until eventually something clicks and i start believing it? Im sorry, im just so lost.

Also, please don't feel like you HAVE to answer this. I guess I've already read the answer in one of your posts, but im struggling to apply it to this situation.

You're not trauma dumping, your ask is actually refreshing, coming from so many people having breakdowns over not having a mansion and a Porsche, this finally feels like a question that's worth answering.

You are awareness, you don't have to convince yourself.

Lester also got into this over a health scare, I got into this over a health scare, albeit not mine but a parent's, but just as severe.

Here's an excerpt from the book No Attachments, No Aversions, that I hope will help you:

I was told by the doctor not to exert myself, that I must live a sedentary life, because I could drop dead at any moment. This scared me almost to death! After several days I said to myself, "I'm still alive! Drop this useless fear and instead use all you've got to see what you can do about it." I resolved that either I get the answers or I'll take me off this earth, that no coronary was going to do it. And I had the where-with-all, enough morphine to do it-and in the most pleasant way. The doctors allowed me to have morphine to use when I would be overtaken by a kidney-stone attack. The major thing I did after my coronary thrombosis was cut out from the world, one hundred percent. Formerly, I had been very active socially in the arts, opera, jazz, ballet and theatre, whenever I was in New York. It was my necessity for escape. However, for three months I stopped all social activity, did no dating, and even cut out the weekend visits to my sisters and their families. I also cut off the phone. It was a total cut-out from the world. I isolated, right in New York City. I'd only go out to buy food between 2 and 5 A.M. when the city streets were the emptiest. Stores were open all night in Manhattan. I saw no one except the grocer. I was all out, hellbent on getting the answers.

I had spent over forty years of my life, mostly very unhappily. Friends would tell me, "Gee, Lester, you've got everything." I felt I had nothing. I had a nice family and an unusually loving mother. I was given a good education. I was living on 116 Central Park South-and in the penthouse. My friends were many. But my life was unhappy and sick. I had suffered twenty years with hay fever, fifteen years with ulcers and a half dozen perforated ulcers, enlarged liver and kidney stones. About twice a year I'd get jaundiced. I developed migraine headaches. Then heart trouble. And fear, anxiety and frustration all my life. After my coronary I was told I might drop dead any minute. "Don't climb a stair unless you absolutely have to," I was warned. That was in 1952. I was forty-three years old. I was desperate. This fear of dying scared me more than I've ever been scared in my life. It caused me to conclude with determination, "Either I get the answers, or I'll take me off this earth. No heart attack will do it!" That determination to get the answers was the thing that again gave me full realization of what life and happiness are. After a few days of fear of dying, I resolved that there was nothing I could do brooding about it. I started thinking of a way out. I sat alone in my apartment and just thinking, thinking, thinking. I had a problem and had to get the answer. So I sat me down and said, "Lester, you were considered smart. You were an honor student in high school. You won a scholarship when only three scholarships to Rutgers University were awarded through competitive, statewide examinations. You were an honor student in college." But for all of that, I was dumb! dumb! dumb! I did not know how to get the very elementary thing in life-how to be happy!

Well, what do I do? All of my past knowledge was useless. So I decided to drop it all and start from scratch. Okay. Well, what am I? What is this world? What is my relationship to it? I began reviewing the little happiness I had known and it was always related to a woman. "Oh, being loved by a woman is what happiness is!" Then I thought, "Well, here I am. I've had and still have lovely women wanting me. But I am still miserable!" I thought, "Then it's not being loved!" I began reviewing it again and I discovered that when I was loving them-then, I was happy. Conclusion: my happiness equates to my capacity to love.

Then I went through a very keen process of trying to love others. I would review my past behavior. Where I thought I had been loving, I saw I wanted to be loved. For instance, when I saw that I had been nice to a girl only because I wanted something from her, I would say, "You son-of-a-gun, Lester. Correct that!" Then I would love her for what she was, not for what I wanted from her. I kept on correcting this until I could find no more to correct. The next big awareness that came to me was what intelligence is. I got a picture of a single overall intelligence that each one of us is blindly using, available to us to the degree we do not cut off. I also discovered that I am responsible for everything that happens to me. Then I discovered that every thought materializes, sooner or later. Thereafter I took responsibility for everything that was happening to me. Looking for it, the initiating thought would come up in mind, and it being conscious, I would then be able to drop it. I was letting go and undoing the hell I had created. By squaring all with love, trying to love rather than trying to be loved, and by taking responsibility for all that was happening to me; finding my subconscious thought and correcting it, I became freer and freer, happier and happier. The picture of intelligence that I received I think is interesting. I suddenly got a picture of the amusement park entertainment consisting of bump-cars that are made difficult to steer so that the drivers continually bump into each other. They were all getting their electrical energy from the wire screen above, through a pole coming down to every car. The power above was symbolic of the overall intelligence and energy of the universe coming down the pole to me and everyone else, which we were all using and bumping into each other, instead of driving along together in harmony. We use this intelligence in life and we just bump! bump! bump! That was the first picture I got of life and intelligence. We all have a direct line to that infinite intelligence up there and we are using it blindly, wrongly, and against each other. For the first two months I was getting answers to, "What is happiness, intelligence and love?" As the answers came, I was gradually being unburdened of my miseries and tensions.

The very first insight was on love, seeing that my happiness was determined by my capacity to love. That was a tremendous insight. It began to free me. Any bit of freedom when you're plagued feels so good. I knew that I was in the right direction. I had gotten hold of a link of a chain and was determined not to let go until I had the entire chain. Then I saw that my sum-total thinking was responsible for everything happening to me, and that gave me more freedom. I could control my life by undoing the compulsive behavior, all of which had been determined in the past, and was now subconscious. The third phase was discovering and recognizing who and what I really am. I began to see that we are infinite beings with no limitations; that all limitations were only concepts in our minds, learned in the past, and being held on to. When we see what we really are, we can see that we are not that limited being that we had thought we were, and we can then easily drop the limitations. Working on those three things, I became freer and freer. My heart became lighter. I was happier, more at peace. My mind got quieter. Then my curiosity took me all the way. I said, "If this is so good, I must find just how good it can get. I'll go the limit."

I'd had a life mostly of misery. So when this wonderful thing of happiness began coming in, I wanted all of it. I doggedly kept at it. And then all of a sudden powers fell in on me. I could know anything anywhere. I saw there were people just like us on endless numbers of planets. Then I took a look across the country to Los Angeles. I called up this friend and said, "In the living room there are three persons," and so on. I started telling him what was going on. Dead air! Suddenly I realized I had frightened him. I had to cut the conversation short. I was amazed at the very pleasant sensation of watching divine laws in operation. The fascination was not the powers themselves, but the watching and witnessing of the divine laws operating. I really didn't feel like the doer. I knew these things were not to be latched on to. I knew that if I got interested in them, I'd stop progressing. I had seen by this time that this world is a mentation-a dream. So to get interested in the dream again through interest in powers would trap me back into what I was wanting to get out of.

Toward the end of my period of seeking, l one day saw that, my gosh! This whole thing is like a dream in my mind, just like a night dream! And it's a dream that never really was any more than a dream you had last night was. Was it a real thing, that dream you had last night? No. It was only in your mind. But of course until one awakens out of this everyday waking state, it seems real to one. The new reality was that I am, and that's all there is! That my beingness is the changeless essence of the universe, of course, I was punch-drunk, slap-happy, and in a state of euphoria. In this state the whole world looks perfect. Looking at my body, I also saw this body as part of that perfection. This instantly corrected all my ailments.

Several times on the way up I'd get a realization that would so supercharge my body, I'd have to walk for miles and miles at a good pace. Some of those realizations are really more than a body can take. You can't sit still. Many a time I was forced to walk off the new, intense energy. I was undoing the subconscious hang-ups, tendencies, preexisting dispositions, realizing more and more that I am free, that freedom is my basic nature. I was getting freer and freer and I automatically went into a state where, having undone enough of the mental limitations, the real Self of me began presenting itself to me. I saw that the real "I" of me was only beingness, was only existence, and that my beingness was exactly the beingness of the universe. And when I saw that, I identified with every being in this universe; I identified with every atom in it. And when you do that you lose all sense of being a separate individual, an ego. When I saw that, that I AM the Amness of his universe, I then saw the whole world as just an image in my imagination, like a dream. I imaged or dreamt that I was a body. And I'm dreaming right now that I'm this body. In reality, the only thing that is, is Isness, That's the real, changeless substance behind everything.

When I started, I couldn't have been much lower. I was plagued with all these ailments accumulated over the years topped with a coronary, and with deep depths of depression and intense misery. Three months later I was at the other extreme; I was so happy I had a smile on my face that I could not take off. I felt a euphoria and lightness that is really indescribable. Everything of life itself was open to me-the total understanding of it. It is simply that we are infinite beings, over which we have superimposed concepts of limitation. And we are smarting under these limitations that we accept for ourselves as though they are real, because they are opposed to our basic nature of total freedom. However, they are just hallucinations, mental concepts. Life before and after was at two different extremes. At first it was just extreme depression and sickness. After, it was a happiness and serenity that's indescribable.

Now, you don't have to follow exactly what he did - just ask yourself the questions and do what feels right for you. I will add this book to my drive as well so you can read it all if you want to, but in the end, you will be fine, don't worry. Love believes all things, nothing can happen against your will ♡

Then why do you even eat sleep or even live these are wants by the way , wanting and desiring are a part of dream yes it is not “us” wanting or desiring also how does desiring a mansion or whatever any different than wanting to eat if that so then you do also not practice ND right or whatever that is because i am sure you do have desires on daily

The motivation is different, you have desires because you take yourself to be separate

That is literally it, you’re giving yourself reasons to compensate yourself when we have countlessly talked about how there can be a participation in the dream without taking it seriously

In a simulation game , why do you do play it if it’s not real? In a lucid dream, do you just stand in one place because it’s unreal or do you continue on except with the unshakable knowing of the dream world having no substance

Of course desires are present, no one said they would disappear, sometimes I have the desire to delete my blog cause I feel like my words are literally doing nothing

Essentially, desires in themselves aren’t bad, but coming into ND with the sole aim of attaining something is what is futile because that alone contradicts “non duality”, desires are present due to the idea of being a real separate person in a real world that is against you

How to be Awareness (The guide to all you need to know)

First off, realize you are never not it. We are actually fully realized all the time. We are fully realized Beings saying that we are not. So all we do is let go of “we are not” and what's left over is the fully realized Being that we are.

Second, if you're able to understand it intellectually but not able to use it, it's because you're not looking at yourself honestly, truthfully, with deep desire to see your Self, in the process of which you have set up as the subconscious mind all the things you will not look at.

However, it's not necessary to dig up this unconscious mind, in fact it's much better to try to quiet the mind. When we're able to get the mind totally quiet, what's left over is the infinite Self. Every thought is a thing of limitation. Therefore when we quiet the mind, we still these limiting thoughts and this infinite Being that we are becomes self obvious to us. The Self is then not occluded by the limiting thoughts! We see It, we recognize that we never were that mind, that body, and from that moment on, the mind and body have no influence upon us. We determine for the body as we would a puppet and it has no effect upon us, as a puppet that we would be controlling would have no effect upon us.

If you want a "method", then the very best method of all methods is to quiet the mind to see the Being that you are. Pose the question: “Who am I?” and if other thoughts come in, ask, “To whom are these thoughts?” The answer is “To me.” “Well, who am I?” and you're back on the track, seeking to see your Self.

''Who am I?” is the final question that everyone answers, so why not begin with the final question?

There are two ways of growing: one is what I call the negative way, eliminating the negative, going into the mind, seeing the cause of the problem that originated in a thought some time in the past. When we see this thought, when we bring it up into consciousness, we naturally let go of it. We see how silly it is to hold onto it and therefore correct that thought and behavior.

However, the other way is better. It is the positive way. Quiet the mind and see who and what you really are, the infinite Self, pure Awareness. In the over all, there's really only two ways: eliminating the negative and the better, putting in the positive, “I am that I am,” “I am It.” The latter is by far the faster.

Let's now take a look at this so-called apparency, the world. The world is only an illusion that we created mentally. It is not external but in reality within us, within our mind. Someday you'll discover that you created this entire universe that you see. The method of creating is by first creating what we call a mind. We create our mind, which is nothing but a composite of all our thoughts, conscious and subconscious, and the thoughts create the material world. Every little thing that happens to each and everyone of us is created in our thinking. We mentally set up a thing called time which makes it even more difficult to see things because we think now and things happen years later. But the only creator there is, is the mind, your mind.

So now you discover that you created your trouble, then you discover that you can create anything you desire. After you discover that there is nothing that you cannot create, you're still unhappy. The reason is that you have separated yourself from the all that is.

You say you realize you are Awareness but you still "lack" things

If there are any problems that remain, they only remain because you are holding onto them in thought. The moment you let go of them, they are gone! If you tell me that isn't so for you, that isn't true. The truth is you're still holding onto them, telling me that it doesn't work. Now trying to get rid of a problem is holding onto it. Anything we try to get rid of we are holding in mind and thereby sustaining that problem. So the only way to correct a problem is to let go of it. See not the problem, see only what you want. If you would only from this moment on see what you want that is all that you would get. But you hold in mind the things you do not want. You struggle to eliminate the things you don't want, thereby sustaining them.

Now the very highest state is simply Beingness, and if we could only be, just be, we could see our Infinity. We would see that there are no limitations. We would see that we are the All. We would be in a perfectly satiated, permanent, changeless state. And it is not a nothingness, it is not a boredom, it is an Allness, an Everythingness, a Total Satiation that is eternal. You will never, never lose your individuality. The word “I” as you use it to mean your individuality will never ever leave you. It expands. What happens as you re-remember what you are is that you'll begin to see that others are you, that you are me, that you are now and always have been gloriously Infinite.

This subject cannot be learned intellectually, it cannot be learned through the mind because it's perceived just behind the mind. We can use the mind to gradually undo the limitations enough so that we can get behind the mind by getting it quieter. If it were possible to get this subject through the mind intellectually, all we would need to do is to read the books on it and we would have it. But it doesn't work that way. We have to very concentratedly dwell upon our Self that is just behind the mind. Turn the mind back upon the mind to discover what the mind is, and then go beyond the mind to the Self. So to get this subject, each one must experience it, realize it, make it real by going to the place just behind the mind and perceiving it there.

If you examine thoroughly the mind, you will discover that it isn't, it's an illusion. Let it go its way, just watch the mind. The ultimate witness is the Self. It's a tremendous thing to watch the mind. Not only does it quiet it, it makes the mind not you. If you trace the source of the mind, you find it is nothingness. This whole world is a dream illusion, which means that it isn't!

Unlimited joy is our natural, inherent state which we have, through ignorance, undone by imposing concepts of limitations. Anytime we have trouble, anytime we have a problem, we're being the limited ego. We’re trying to express the Self through the limited ego, and it's too small, we get squeezed and it hurts. If you'll just accept that you are not that, that what you are is God, Awareness -- and God is All, God is Perfect, that's all you'll ever meet with!

No matter what you say, no matter what law or concept you want to follow, only upon recognizing that what you are is Awareness are you perfectly satisfied.

I don't understand. Bloggers are saying to disregard the senses. I do and nothing happens, no matter how much I continue in my knowing... what am I doing wrong?

"Disregard the senses"???

Do you not realize what that is saying is just loa repackaged.... "ignore the 3D", basically.

3D = world

You are aware of the world, world IS.

Senses are part of the body. You are aware of the body -> body is and its seeing is PERFECT AND FINE. Ignore senses why? You are making them be, they ARE. You are the knower of those TOO if you are the knower of the body. You made senses the enemy now for some reason? Why? They exist through your awareness, they are just part of the body.

If you're not seeing what ego wants is simply because you're aware of yourself living in a world you don't want. Senses are totally under your dominion like everything else. You suddenly separated them for the body and started asking questions about them, to which I'm confused on what kind of answers besides what I've just said you could have gotten.

Do not want, simply choose

hiiii i recently watched kanthony (the so called bridgerton show or whatever) and was wondering if u have any fic recs... 👉👈🤭

okay i litchrally have never compiled a list bc i have read too many to keep them organized. but ill do it. Finally. for YOU.

first. my fav period setting fics <33:

tete a tete by caciopepebowl (14k~) this is REQUIRED reading to ME. its a quick read that explores kate and anthonys roles in their family. with an emphasis on KATE specifically bc of the additional hurdles of being a woman with limited funds. and anthony losing his mind on her behalf while shes breaking his heart by being like "the way i was treated was normal?? you dont know anything" and hes like "what? kate you deserved everything. you deserve ALL the love in the world!!" and shes all ">:( well if i do. you do too." . and hes like "oh. well...no. you see.. bc i suck" and shes like -_-. its really sweeeeeet and lovely <3) and really finally gave me the exploring of kates family issues that THE SHOW DID NOT!!!

the longest betrothal by caciopepebowl. (90k~) my FAVVVVV regency setting fic. its sooo good. its basically a continuation that fills in the gap AFTER they get engaged but BEFORE theyre married. and them trying SO hard to be normal about how in love they are lol. SO funny and sweet. and with IMMACULATE characterization

in vino veritas by wagamiller. (~10k) a one shot about kate going to a ladies society event and coming home drunk to anthony and him being soooo smitten with her. sauuuur cute. ive read this like 4 times <3 its soooo good

for reasons wretched and divine by penny_loaf. (~18k. locked fic. need an account.) basically kate and anthony get stuck in a time loop on that first day edwina is receiving suiters. they both think theyre alone in the loop and its depressing until they realize the other is stuck with them too. they try to break the loop and fail repeatedly. after a while they just give up and start fucking bc theres no consequences so who cares LOL. surprisingly tender and sweet

the harsh light of day by burnerraccount. (~22k. locked) explicit one shot. kate has the idea that they should fuck before they get married so theres less pressure on the wedding night. she decides all this without mentioning it to anthony (LOL). so she shows up at his house the night before their wedding. and his footman is like "theres a woman outside to see you" and he in all his goofy almost-married bliss is like "i dont want to see Any woman but my gorgeous, beautiful, amazing WIFE" and his footman is like "well. you see.. it is your wife. uh fiance" and anthonys like "[voice crack] huh ?". very FUNNY

green in its many hues by burnerraccount. kate and anthony decide they are going to be chaste and proper leading up to their wedding. they suck at it SO bad lol

next. modern AUS my best friends <33:

la semi dolce vita by caciopepebowl (~170k) my FAVVVV modern au of ALL time. kate is a private chef. anthonys family hires her when they go on vacation. hes being so normal about it. i promise. this is one of the best characterizations of kate AND anthony in a modern setting. with an extra emphasis on focusing on kate issues. and not JUST anthonys. which is what makes the dynamic sooo good. 10/10. hot. and i love LOVE <3

close encounters of the acutest kind by caciopepebowl (WIP ~74k. only incomplete fic ill put on this list i PROMMY. bc its by the prev author. and i Looove their writing and its sooo good so far <3) kate and anthony meet for the first time the DAY her dad died which is also the SAME DAY hyacinth is born. theyre both having a panic attack and end up running into the same empty hospital room to have it. are then intrinsically linked forever. as one is. run into each other multiple times over the years. with different feelings each time. and they are so normal (lying) <3. i love them

chosen & cherished by trash4ficsaboutlurv. (~42k) this is so underrated. kate runs a charity organization. anthony is CEO of whatever the fuck. she goes to his company when theyre holding some audition for what charity theyre going to invest in and kate is the last speaker and when its finally her turn he barely even pays attention. and shes exhausted and overworked and just oveeeer it All. so she ends the meeting and tells him to go fuck himself. LOL. genuinely really good. and hot <3

sidelines by ramarro. (~60k) this was THE quintessential kanthony modern AU in 2022. kates an artist who sees a picture of anthony on tinder and thinks he looks obnoxious (lol) but screenshots the photo so she can use his arms/hands for sketching practice. and then she see him and his grown ass on a date with her BABY sister. and shes like well i was right about him. and lets him know to his face how she feels (LOL). its wild. it slays. read it. theres an explicit follow up to it which also slays

three cities and we never lived here by ramarro. (~25k, ~40k) very different modern au where kate and anthony meet on vacation and are very casual with them both not looking for anything (genuinely for once lol) and then seeing each other multiple times over 2-3 years in different cities and still keeping it casual. but slowly slowly slowlyyyy it doesnt feel as casual as it used to. theres 2 fics in this. the first is kates pov. the second is anthony. both very good.

just go with it by suitsusboth. (~18k) kate when booking a flight sees the potential titles like ms, mrs, dr, and "viscountess" listed as a legit option and has a laugh like whos picking this goofy shit and accidentally clicks it. and then on her flight gets upgraded to first class next to anthony bc they assumed she was his wife. and he tries to be mad about it. but well. hes stupid for her in every universe so lol. funny and sweet

the air i breathe and the bane of my existance by the_loosest_moose. (image fic) these are textfics told through instagram, twitter, article and text message screenshots. with some regular text. would just check them out to gauge how you feel about the storytelling method. very fun reads once you get the hang of it

heirlooms by waterlilyrose. (~12k) modern au where kate gets anthonys ring stuck on her finger for days and has to wait to get it off. he is of course very normal about it

a devils love by irony_rocks. (~57k) this may not be for everyone but kanthony season came out around the same time as The Batman (2022) and as someone who was crazy insane about both. this was the MOMENT for me in spring 2022. its a crime mafia type au where kates character is inspired by selina kyle and the pebble lounge she worked at in the batman movie. and well. if youre about that specific combo check it out. its not a batman au

break point (series) by penny_loaf. (multiple. ~25k) this a tennis au which you wouldnt think would be that deep but it is and its sooooo good. it really delves into the pressure of the world its set in on top of the issues kate and anthony ALREADY have. and as an ANGST and crazy, complicated characters STAN...very GORGEOUS to ME <3 and hot

take me home by kendal_lynne. (~12k) romcom type explicit one shot where kate makes the mistake of telling anthony her ex couldnt make her come. and hes all like i can do it volunteer as tribute PLEASE PKLEASE PLEASE PICK ME CHOOSE ME PLWASEE etc

we never made a sound by writergirl8. (~4k) spy au that was soooooo good and sexy. i wish it was longer

with elaichi by serendipityinwords (~6k) the two biggest bitches at a dinner party find out they're soulmates. LOL. hilarious dialogue

theres probably more i loved that im not remembering rn and maybe ill update this but for now have fun! yippee <3

𝐀 𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

a guide on how to manifest quickly and effortlessly with the understanding of states! ♡

☆ ┊𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒

what are states?

how to enter and sustain the state

dealing with the unfavorable (the 3D, emotions, doubts, negativity…)

quotes

a post by @blushydior + @angelsinluv

this is a joint/collab post between @blushydior and @angelsinluv. this was originally bambi’s post so she’d written most of it but doesn’t want to post it on her blog for personal reasons. so we thought it’d be a good idea for me to post it on mine and put our knowledge together since it’s been the talk lately.

there are many different ways of understanding the law and manifesting your desires whether it be behind a scientific point of view or the principle, states.

there are many different ways of understanding the law and manifesting your desires whether it be behind a scientific point of view or the principle, states.

if you’d like to know how blushydior manifested her dream life with hard circumstances, read this post here.

now, let get into it.

☆ ┊ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒

the sooner you understand and get the gist of states, the more seamless your manifesting journey will be. this realization is what brought bambi to manifest her dream life.

states manifest and thoughts don’t and i’ll explain why in this guide but in no way shape or form that i am pushing my beliefs onto you.

even if you don’t agree with that statement or are unable to fully click and resonate with states just yet know that states and thoughts work together to bring awareness to what mindset/story you’re entertaining.

for example, if you wanted to know what state you’re in, you would look at your thoughts. why? because when you change your state, your thoughts naturally change as well so therefore, thoughts and feeling are indicators of what you’re state in.

if your day to day thoughts are:

where are my desires?

why hasn’t the 3D conformed yet?

i didn’t get to saturate my mind today, now i won’t get it

you are coming from a state of lack. a state of not having your desire unaware that your imagination trumps the 3D. always.

i’m not saying it’s a crime to affirm all day. many people enjoy it so it’s not out of lack. it’s up to how you’re doing it.

with manifestation, you’re either in the state of:

being the person who has it

being the person who is trying to get it

in the law of assumption, what creates reality? your mind (consciousness)

so, if you’re affirming, visualizing, doing all these things IN YOUR MIND, to change your reality (3D) then…

BY DEFAULT:

imagination creates reality

the 3D is a reflection of your state of BEING

always look inwards for confirmation because that’s the true reality!

☆┊ 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄

aka choose what you want to manifest! this would mainly be the state of the wish fulfilled.

state = your mindset / your state of being / state of consciousness. your I AM.

it’s what you identify as. your awareness of being.

choose what you want and embody the version of you / person who already has their desire.

for example, if you wanted $10 million, you choose to be in the state of fulfillment - the person who has $10 million.

that is now your state - the person who has their desire. the state of the wish fulfilled.

☆ WHAT IS THE STATE OF THE WISH-FULFILLED?

the state of the wish fulfilled is the state in which your desire has already been fulfilled - that it is already done because consciousness is the only reality. there is nothing left for you to do because creation is finished!

you do not create anything, you only occupy and live in your desired state to bring it to life. this is why there is power in your awareness (of being). be aware of who you are being in relation to your desire.

☆ MORE ON STATES

infinite states exist within consciousness - this means that anything is possible and not all of them are true/will manifest. only the state that you constantly dwell and identify with, manifests.

this is also why infinite realities exist. your state is your reality.

❝ The world is a mirror, forever reflecting what you are doing, within yourself. ❞

☆ ┊ 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓

now that you set the intention of embodying the person who has their desires, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that align with your state will naturally flow to you.

as you can tell, thoughts and feelings are a product of a state but repeating affirmations, visualizing, doing whatever you want can also help you sustain and being into the state. that’s what techniques are for!

so what would you be thinking and how would you feel if you had your desire?

thinking = imaginal acts that include visualizing, affirming, inner convos, feeling, etc.

thinking is not just affirming because there are people who think in visuals and others who think in forms of words (affirmations). do what feels natural to you. — blushydior

affirm: “i have $10 million dollars in the bank!”

visualize: any scene that implies you have $10 million dollars in the bank

feeling: nonchalant / at peace / etc. knowing you have $10 million in your possession.

that is now your awareness / state of being

feeling ≠ emotion!

feeling = accepting your desire as a fact that it is yours because consciousness is the only reality.

☆ 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆

remember that the feeling is natural and it won’t be the same every single time. for example, if you’re now just starting to understand and enter the state of the wish fulfilled, it might be exciting, relieving - euphoric even but as you exercise returning back (persistence) to dwell in the state, it’ll start to feel natural. it might start feeling nonchalant, peace, calmness! so if you reach that point and start to worry, “i feel nothing but I know it done. am i doing something wrong?” no you’re not. it’s okay!

you don’t have to act as if. only be as if.

❝ Are you thinking from the state you desire? or is your dream just a passing fancy, a daydream you enjoyed for the moment, and then dropped? ❞

if you say you want money, are you gonna keep WANTING it? NO. to manifest, you ARE the person who has the money.

that’s it. that’s your state! you changed who you are.

YOU ARE THAT PERSON WHO HAS THE MONEY. simple. (that’s because the law is)

☆ 𝐓𝐑𝐘 𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐌𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐖

close your eyes, claim you have what you want. by affirming, visualizing, whatever feels good to you.

see it, feel it, know that your mind creates your world. what you see is THE REAL FACT.

isn’t it liberating? BECAUSE IT IS.

you are free to do and have whatever you want! this is why the 3D, circumstances and feelings DO NOT MATTER. why? because YOU, the operant power JUST SAID you have it in your mind so why are you going to let emotions and the 3D effect you?

now, accept these thoughts and your state as facts because that’s what they are. consciousness is the only reality so if you say and know that who you are in imagination is true, the law has no choice but to reflect your awareness of being.

not all thoughts are assumptions and you are not all of your states!

the state and thoughts you identify with manifests.

you are always passing through a number of states throughout your days. a state of sadness, a state of anger, a state of nonchalance, a state of fulfillment.

dwell and identify with the state of your choosing = the person has all their desires!

it’s the same thing with thoughts.

“thoughts are just thoughts. thoughts accepted as true are assumptions. and thoughts/assumptions are products of your state of consciousness. feelings do not mean emotion. feelings = the acceptance that your desire is a fact in imagination.” — blushydior

like i said, thoughts are just thoughts. unless you assign meaning to doubts and affirmations, they hold no power. you do. so which one are facts and which ones are powerless?

your imaginal acts, awareness of being (visualizing / affirming / inner convos / feeling / auditory / etc) = fact

doubts, intrusive, negative thoughts = powerless. don’t even care enough to label them. they’re silly little thoughts.

☆ ┊ 𝐒𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄 - 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐒𝐓

all you have to do now is persist in that assumption and sustain your state until it hardens into a fact.

A COMMON MISCONCEPTION is that you have to CONSCIOUSLY be in the state all day everyday. NO. all you have to do is return to it/persist whenever you WANT to and WHENEVER you think about it

❝ You don't have to remain in a state if you have made a mistake. You can change states morning, noon, and night, but the state to which you most constantly return constitutes your dwelling place. ❞

SEE! it’s really no different. it’s the same as meditating on affs or rampaging, visualizing, thinking from your desire etc but it’s the fact that you are doing these things to make it natural & bc you enjoy it, not because you “don’t see it in the 3D” and you freak out then over-consume, affirm more, etc.

whenever you think about your desire, remind yourself that you already have it. 

if you caught yourself dwelling in a place of lack, for example, asking “where is it?” / “it’s not here yet.” — correct yourself. return to the wish fulfilled and feel it to be a fact in imagination.

and you keep doing that WHENEVER YOU WANT TO until it feels natural. like neville said, it’s like putting on a new suit. at first it won’t feel natural but over some time, you won’t even be “conscious” of it because you already / naturally feel fulfilled! read my quotes thread that relates to this.

this is where methods come in as well. it gets you to dwell in your state whenever and however you want.

methods don’t hold any power. you do.

it’s not a chore. it’s a choice.

easy peasy.

❝ You can tell if you abide in your house of desire by watching your thoughts, for the state in which you most constantly return constitutes your dwelling place. ❞

☆ ┊ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

you have fulfilled the inner man, accepted it as a fact and got your manifestation.

☆┊ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄

doubts, the 3D (interacting vs. reacting) and emotions

doubts, intrusives, opposing thoughts

you let them pass because you are already the person who has it all. if you identify as the person who has their desires (“i have xyz”) why would you let little doubts deter you? they can come in your mind ALL DAY but if you don’t identify with them, they don’t hold power.

if YOU know you’re already the person who has their desire, nothing and no one can stop them from conforming.

for example, if you were famous and all of a sudden you were told “no, you’re not!”

would you go:

“i’m not? oh my god… you’re right. i’m not famous!”

or

“uh…? wrong. because the evidence* is right there? i just said i’m famous so that’s what i am…. famous. lol.”

*evidence = you. your state/4D/mind.

☆ ┊𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝟑𝐃 - 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 ≠ 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 

→ ┊ REACTING is looking at the 3D and complaining. settling for what you see as a fact.

EXAMPLE: seeing the opposite of your manifestation

DON’T: “my life sucks. i hate it here. see? this is why i can never manifest what i want.” and settling for these thoughts as facts.

DO: “it doesn’t matter what i see. what and who i claim to me in my mind/imagination is the real fact that has no choice to be externalized!”

→ ┊ INTERACTING is doing what you need to do in the 3D/physical world but knowing that what you claim in your mind is the REAL fact.

EXAMPLE 1: you’re manifesting a romantic partner.

physically: when someone asks you “hey, are you in a relationship?” you say no.

but in your mind you go: sike. i have the perfect girl/boyfriend 🤭🤭

EXAMPLE 2: you’re manifesting money

physically: you decline to hangout with your friends because you have no money at the moment.

but in your mind you go: “i literally have so much money lol ?? i’m the richest person in the world with all the money i have in the bank.”

EXAMPLE 3: attending therapy or venting to loved ones

physically: “life’s been really difficult lately and it makes me feel stuck. i had a few breakdowns and anxiety problems, etc.”

mentally: (after venting) “that made me feel a little better. i let my feelings out instead of bottling them in. i know i have/will get my desires! everything’s okay. i’m safe.”

it doesn’t matter what you do or say in the 3D!

consciousness is the only reality so if you continue to dwell in the state most favorable to you, that is all that matters!

☆ ┊𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐈𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

in this context: the repetition of affirmations. not repeatedly going back to the state of the wish fulfilled.

i’ve gotten a number of asks in the past asking me why they didn’t get what they want if they repeated the thought so many times. my only conclusion from this side of the screen is that you are in the state of trying to get it.

when manifesting, you don’t try. you either have it or you don’t. 

so are you person a?

“okay i have to affirm on loop for 20 minutes, 2 times a day or else, i won’t get it my manifestation!”

blushy’s observation: you aren’t being the person who has their desires if you still feel like you need to get them. so you do all these things like over-consume information, force yourself to affirm the same affirmations on loop 1000x, looking for more answers, etc.

you simply aren’t in the state of being. you’re in the state of lack / trying to get it.

how can you try to get something you already have?

so switch states! how? scroll back up.

or person b?

“i feel like saturating my mind. why not? it’s fun.” →

“i already have all of my desires because i said so. there’s no need for me to worry or stress because it’s already mine! it’s done…” and so on.

so do you have it? yes or no?

☆ ┊𝐒𝐎 𝐖𝐇𝐘 𝐃𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐃𝐎𝐍’𝐓?

a related question: do dominant thoughts manifest?

you can affirm all day and be able to affirm on autopilot in the middle of your sleep or doing chores but if you:

don’t accept them as facts (assumptions)

identify with them

are in the state of trying to get them by going: “i need to affirm more or else i won’t receive my desire.”

you won’t see results.

that’s why it can only take one decision for a manifestation to come to fruition. you fully accepted it as a fact that the version in imagination is the true person who has it whether it be a desire or doubt.

it’s all about the knowing it’s already yours IN IMAGINATION - that your success is inevitable and it has no choice but to conform and harden into fact.

it’s called the law of assumption for a reason! (as neville even once said, law of being) you accept / assume you are the person who has it as true without any physical evidence because you know that imagination creates reality.

❝ This is the law of assumption so, if you assume that repeating affirmations all day will get you some kind of movement / your manifestation, that’s what you’ll get. It’s the same thing with techniques and methods, you give your thoughts and these ways of manifesting power. Thoughts are products of your state of consciousness but it doesn’t mean they’re all true. The idea that dominant thoughts manifest makes it seem tedious. The law is simple. Especially for people who are new to the law, you’re introduced to this idea and you begin to police every thought you have and affirm all day, everyday to make sure that your every dominant thought surrounding each topic in your life is a positive one. That’s exhausting and it’s not supposed to be. It contradicts the fact that you don’t have to make a smidge of effort in order to get your desires. […] It gives your thoughts power when you are not your thoughts. You are who you claim to be in imagination because imagination creates reality. So if you visualized or affirmed that you are the person who lives their dream life and accept it as a fact in your mind, nothing can make that change other than you and you are pure consciousness. You can have negative thoughts and feel your emotions because just like the outer world, they have nothing to do with you unless you identify with them. So choose your story. Your silly little thoughts or the fact that you are the person who has their desires. ❞ — blushydior

all you have to do is accept it as a fact that you are the person who has their desire and you will manifest faster than the speed of light.

this is my opinion but i don’t like the idea of affirming so much to wait until a thought is dominant so it can manifest. it’s very limiting.

it is a fact that you ARE the person who has your desire! the reason why affirming on loop and “dominant thoughts manifest” concept works for others is because they assume it does. remember that techniques don’t manifest, you do.

❝ An assumption, though false, if persisted in, will harden into fact. ❞

if you are affirming on loop and aren’t seeing results, this may be your problem and understanding states is the solution you’ve been looking for!

☆ ┊𝐖𝐇𝐘 𝐃𝐎 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐌 𝐎𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐏?

this goes along with manifesting with hard circumstances and being a neurodivergent!

i state in my guide that i knew i was the person who already had my desires and since i was constantly filled with intrusives, doubts, and other things (i didn’t identify with them, i just wanted them to lessen) i repeated them as reminders to made me feel better to saturate my mind that: “yes! i do have it.”

saturation is NOT necessary. you don’t need to do it but it helps in many cases as a technique to sustain your state and coping mechanism. it makes persistence easier for many.

another thing. 

if you are this person: 

“okay i’m going affirm all day and then i will get it!”

you will succeed because that is the assumption you’ve created. you fully accepted it as a fact that if you repeat it over and over again, you will get your manifestation.

so yay! you got it.

☆ ┊𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄