Sometimes Ur Only Closure Is Knowing That U Had A Good Intentions And A Good Heart

God, Tolkien naming his book “The Hobbit” was such a big dick move. Like, back then people didn’t know what a hobbit was. It’d be like if I released a book called “The Smarple” and 50 years later everyone just knew what a smarple was.

What can I do, sir?

Just say the word, sir

Anything for you, sir

Your friends all say, sir

You don't deserve her

I disagree, sir

I live to serve, sir

Don’t forget the first victims when you go see Oppenheimer this opening weekend. Unforgivable not to include them in the narrative.

We love us some Nolan and Cillian but this is also a story that should never have taken place.

For further reading:

This is what happens when the US government goes nuclear-crazy during the Cold War and mines a shit ton of uranium. Lambs born with three legs and no eyes, and human stillbirths and agonizing deformities for those that survive. For decades it was referred to as a Navajo-specific hereditary illness. No one made the link to the mines and the drinking water.

do you guys think jesus was hung

Dicranurus monstrosus - odontopleurid trilobite that lived in a shallow sea that lay between Euramerica and Gondwana, corresponding to modern-day Oklahoma and New York, and Morocco, respectively. As such, their fossils are found in New York, Oklahoma, and Morocco - average size of fossil is 2″ long - Lower to Middle Devonian - 380 million years ago

Ways to refluff Vicious Mockery

You say something so utterly confusing the person takes psychic damage trying to figure out what the hell you're on about.

Call your opponent on the phone, which as we all know does irreparable psychological damage

A really scary story told really fast

You say a meme so dank it shuts down the listener's heart, like a focus-group-ran zoomer remake of Monty Python.

One of those needlessly mean songs they sing about people in disney movies.

UWU YOUR FOES TO DEATH! NYAAAAAA!

You say something so nice your enemy realizes they're the asshole here and does themselves psychic damage as an apology.

Tell your opponent you love them and cause deadly levels of social awkwardness.

Literally red-hot take about Steven Universe.

Gerrymander your opponent's vital biological functions.

Mumble something really quietly and when they come closer to hear it better you punch them in the face

Just read out the last thing Elon Musk said.

Ok, hear me out...Gun Mouth?

Lol

You. Can. Withdraw. Your. Consent. At. Any. Time.

You can withdraw your consent at any time.

At any time.

Any time.