Bucky Fic - Blog Posts

Saving Grace - b. barnes

pairing; winter soldier! bucky x gender neutral! reader

reblogs/feedback/likes are appreciated & encouraged. DO NOT repost/steal any of my works.

warnings; slight sweating, mention of a weapon/injury

word count; 1k+

summary; when you find yourself at the mercy of the infamous winter soldier, the only target that’s ever managed to outrun him, you still feel sorry for him. he’s an individual who has no free will of your own, you on the other hand, have free will. that’s what leads to you doing something you didn’t expect you would do.

links; Marvel Masterlist | Masterlist

© springismss - don’t repost, copy, translate, steal or modify.

Chaos.

That's the only word you could describe everything you saw around you. Ruin, blazes, destruction. All of this because you were the latest mission of a long list of names for the male stood in front of you.

Your team stood scattered around, as he drew closer to you. An emotionless stare burning into you as you stood your ground not ready to give up just yet. The faint static in your earpiece was jumbled with a response from someone but you didn't care to listen.

Your body grew tired as you contemplated accepting your fate. You heard the stories for as long as you could remember. A male soldier who was the best at crossing off names. HYDRA's top weapon. The legendary Winter Soldier. You, like many, believed him to be a myth. A story made up to scare young kids into following the right path because they didn't want to end up the same way he did. Only he turned out not to be a myth, he was very much real.

"Hey, (y/n), come on! Get out of there!".

The sudden loudness made you jump slightly, your breath catching in your throat as you forgot how long you had it. The creaking of leather coming closer drew you out of your daze.

This was the day you were going to die. Sure, you had those thoughts many a time before but the people who tried to kill you in the past? This guy made them look like amateurs. At best, a child would do a better job than them.

Your eyes finally locked with the soldier's as you continued to stand your ground. Hands dropping to your sides as your weapon thudded on the concrete. You were tired. Tired of running. Tired of trying to convince yourself that this was all some crazy nightmare and you'd wake up soon.

"Fine, you win. I'm tired of this bullshit. I'm tired of running from you!".

Not once did the assassin react to your words. His gaze remained fixed on the target that had spent so long running from him. Once your name was crossed off, HYRDA would be pleased. You should have been one of the easiest for him to kill but somehow, you were the hardest one. Managing to escape his attempts to thwart you time again until he cornered you in some little city not too far from where he was told you resided. It would be over in a matter of seconds but those last few seconds to you would be the most painful you had ever felt in all of your existence.

Letting out a shaky breath you closed your eyes, enjoying the blackness before it became one of the last things your mind had seen. The assassin's kills were anything but painless, being able to rid the plant of your existence in seconds. You had your typical regrets of someone in your position. Of the life you never lived, of the life you'll never get to live. Maybe if you hadn't spent the past few months on the run, you would have lived your life to the fullest ready to accept this day. Now that it was here, you didn't want to leave.

"Just get it over with, Winter Soldier! I'm sure HYDRA will celebrate in some sick and twisted way when~".

Something caused you to look over the metal shoulder as your eyes tried to fixate on something happening. You couldn't quite make it out but yet, down in your gut, you didn't have the greatest feeling about it. Squinting you saw the faint glimmer of what your team called the best weapon in your grasp. From talking to the people who had managed to survive a shot from it, you found them to be in pain many months after. Some of the pain strong enough to make them want someone or something to finish the job off.

Piecing things together in your head, your eyes widened in horror as your legs began to move. A loud shot being fired was all you heard as you rushed forward, managing to push the assassin out of the way. The hot metal of the bullet fired piercing your shoulder as you landed with a grunt, your breathing rate increasing as you gripped the wound, hissing out at the contact. You don't know what made you move but something told you to save the soldier.

Judging by the look in his eyes, your reaction had taken him by just as much surprise as you.

Looking down, a small smile tugged at the corner of the sitting figure’s lips as they leaned over, placing a soft kiss upon the other's forehead. It had been a few years since that incident and they couldn't thank you enough for taking the first steps towards their freedom.

Sure, Bucky still had the arm given to him by HYDRA but he was planning on replacing it as soon as possible. The final piece of his horrible past as a ruthless killer. He didn't know why you had done what you had done but he was thankful. You may have been the only person to escape him for so long but maybe it was for that reason alone you had.

Cliché or not, you were his saving grace and he wasn't going to let you go anytime soon. Even if it killed him in the process.

Ominous mists || POV Bucky Barnes

Summary: Former Winter Soldier isn’t sure who he really is. Struggling with the dark past and the metallic voice in his head, he tries to recoup what he had lost.

Warnings: None at this point.

Words: 548

Authors: Beast

A/N: I’ve decided to create my first Bucky’s POV story, hope y'all enjoy it.

“Who do you think you are?” Asks the voice deep inside his head.

I don’t know who am I anymore, he thinks, grinning sadly. He looks down at his metal fingers and how they’re glistening in the setting sun as he stretches them slowly.

The wind blows him straight in the face but he doesn’t mind it at all. Practically, he likes it.

He spent another day by lurking along city streets, without any particular reason. He enjoyed getting lost in the street buzz. And Bucharest was an adorable place to be lost in. The streets were saturated with the remains of communism, although the renewed parts of the city were pulsating with modernized life.

Now, he was sitting at Dâmbovița River, leaning his back against an old linden. Unexpectedly, man shivers when the same voice as before says something loudly inside his mind.

“You’re nothing, just a piece of trash that nobody has ever needed,” voice is getting louder and louder with every second.

SHUT UP!, he shakes his head. You’re not real.

This time, however, the voice doesn’t seem to disappear. “Murderer. You’ve killed so many innocent people. Who do you think you are?

He gets up from the ground and hits the tree’s trunk with metal fist several times. I am not a FUCKING MURDERER!, he screams, he doesn’t pay any attention to few people that stare at him in disbelief.

But the voice gets only louder, spreading through his mind and reaching every single part of his body. "You’re nothing but Winter Soldier, serial killer, piece of trash, the unnecessary system bug which should be removed as soon as possible. But don’t ya worry, they’re coming for ya.”

He turns head around, his hood falls almost on his eyes. He’s afraid, like an animal that got into the hunter’s trap. Are THEY really coming after him???

“Are you okay, sir?” An old woman comes to him, tilting head aside a bit. “Do you need help?”

He struggles with a will to ran. He gently pushes the woman and goes ahead but sinks onto his knees after few steps.

“MURDERER.” The voice keeps humming. “MURDERER, MURDERER, MURDERER!”

He catches his head and with the corner of the eye, he can see how people take steps back as his metal limb is revealed. But he doesn’t care of them. Man only cares to get rid of that awful voice that is pounded somewhere to his brain. He wants to be deaf at all the screams he can hear in his mind and soul, the screams of people he has killed. And these metal clang of that fucking bionic arm! It tears his personality apart. He doesn’t know anymore if he’s a human being whether a machine without emotions.

But there’s a silver lining somewhere in his heart. A familiar male voice, he doesn’t recognize it but somehow it makes that nice warmth spreads across his flesh.

“… till the end of the line…”

At the same second, the metallic voice in his head tries to be louder to deafen the male voice. But he knows the male voice either way…

Man opens his steel blue eyes widely, the last rays of setting sun make them glisten with a comprehension. He screams.

MY NAME IS BUCKY BARNES!!!

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The ending was precious 💙

"My dog ate your christmas present”  || Bucky Barnes x reader drabble

Words: 774

Warnings: none

SUMMARY: Bucky’s dog ate the present for reader. Bucky had to invent something ad hoc.

Author: Beast.

A/N: Drabble written for @caplansteverogers writing challenge. I hope you don’t mind me changing the character I was supposed to write about.

Shit, shit, shit!” Bucky was running over his room looking for something, when Steve stepped in.

„Hey, pal, what’s up?” Captain asked.

Bucky only waved his hand slightly.  “I have a problem here…” James laughed nervously. “I mean, just look at this mess”  he pointed at the corner.

Keep reading

Tbt the time I told myself I wasn’t gonna simp for men more than twice my age and then immediately fell in love with Bucky Barnes

Heavy Tipper

Summary// Camgirl sites were nothing new to Bucky, but a familiar face has him tipping heavily and requesting a private chat.

Warnings// maybe angst?, fluff, smut, video call sex, some dirty talk, mutual masturbation, Camgirl work, some taunting, roadhead (aka m receiving oral while driving), oral (f receiving), overstimulation, kinda face riding?, couple bites, light choking kink (Bucky receiving), light aftercare, fluffy morning sex,

AU// DBF!Bucky x Camgirl!Reader

Note// this is filth and I’m not gonna say sorry for it. There’s around 4 smut scenes. Oops 😅

18+ ONLY MINORS DNI

Sure there was a twist of guilt in Bucky’s stomach when he had discovered your live cam show, one he had ignored when he clicked the icon and tipped- heavily.

But, the guilt had surpassed by the time he requested a private chat.

It wasn’t Bucky’s first time on a website like this one. Watching live camgirls to pass the time and relieve some stress was something he did more often than he wanted to admit.

The moment he saw a familiar face in a preview his mouth went dry. Fingers hovering over the mousepad of his laptop as he debated clicking the icon.

A part of him felt guilty watching someone he’d known for three years in such a vulnerable state over the internet. Especially since he was so close with your family that there wasn’t a family gathering he’d missed in that time.

Maybe that was why he kept clicking the tip button until you gave the camera a sweet smile and said goodbye, before he gladly paid the hundred and fifty dollars for a private video call.

The moment you’d accepted the request and saw the broad chest on your screen you knew something looked familiar. The flash of a dark metal left hand and the edge of a patterned throw blanket you recognized as one you’d gifted him on Christmas, making a smile crack across your features.

Bucky Barnes with his head just out of the frame, broad shoulders and thick arms hidden behind a long sleeved shirt.

The same sweet, handsome Bucky who lightly flirted with you every chance he had. The one who the closest you’d ever been to getting a glimpse of what he looked like naked was in his swim shorts in your backyard. Who was now paying to get off with you over a cam site.

He was so caught up in looking over the lingerie set that was different than the live show previously, that he’d forgotten you were there for only him and not a full audience. A soft laugh drawing his attention back. “Gonna let me see, stud?”

His heart plummeted to his stomach when the pet name dripped from your lips like honey. Something he’d heard from you multiple times over the three years he’d been friends with your dad. But- what hurt would it do if you did know it was him?

“Uh- yeah, yeah.” He stumbled over his words, making sure to keep his face out of the frame as he leaned forward to sit his laptop on the coffee table, lifting his hips enough to shove his sweatpants down.

You couldn’t stop the soft moan that left your throat when his hand wrapped around his thick shaft, mouth starting to water just at the sight. Tip an angry red and shiny with precum as he cleared his throat, a slight flick of his wrist twisting his hand up so he could run his thumb over his leaking slit. Spreading his precum to let his hand glide easier.

Bucky didn’t know where his usual confidence had went as he listened to the blatant filth you spoke. Everything stuck on his tongue as he watched your hands roam your soft skin. Legs spread wide so he could watch your fingers plunge into your cunt, wishing he could just bury his head between your soft thighs and never move.

“Need you to talk to me- what do you wanna do?” Your seductive tone tore through him, eyes hooded with lust as you looked at your screen. Taking in the way he tugged his cock, thighs tensing when he’d twist his hand just right.

“God, fuck- wanna stuff that mouth, pretty girl.” He grunted out, gritting his teeth to ground himself until you were finished.

A breathy moan sounded through his speakers, your teeth grazing your bottom lip. “Do ya’? Looks so heavy, stud. Don’ know if it’ll fit.”

“It’ll fit- pretty pussy looks so wet bet I could slip right it.” Bucky was almost choking on his words when your head tipped back in a drawn out moan.

Seeing him in a state like this one set your entire being on fire. Bionic left gently tugging his heavy sac as he furiously fisted over himself, your mind wandering of how his large hands would feel against your skin other than the touches that maybe lasted a little too long- but you still wished would last longer.

Or how those thick thighs would feel cushioned under you, his hips thrusting up into you as his long, thick fingers wrapped around your throat. Taking what he needed and more as he took you apart.

“S’close-“ you panted out, applying just the right amount of pressure to your clit to pull the coil in your core tight enough to snap. A breathless moan feeding into the mic and through his speakers.

“Look so handsome like this,” you breathed out, riding through the afterglow.

“S-shit- gonna make me fuckin’ come, sweet girl.” Bucky knew how pitiful the whine that pulled from his throat sounded, but he couldn’t help it.

He’d never imagined you’d say anything even bordering vulgar, yet here he was jerking off over a video call with you spilling dirty thoughts from your lips like it was a normal conversation. Talking him through a body tensing orgasm as his release coated his hand and clothed abdomen in thick spurts.

He cursed under his breath as he blinked his eyes open, seeing that you were sitting straighter in front of the camera with a proud smile.

“Hope to see you on here again, handsome.”

Bucky was going to try his hardest not to get too flustered over the belated birthday celebration at your dad’s. Having a beer with him in the kitchen when he heard the from door opened.

“Sorry, I’m late- happy late birthday, stud.” You chirped, gift bag in one hand as your free arm went around his neck for a hug.

“Thanks, sweets.” He chuckled, hand resting on your lower back as you pulled away. “We just ordered food. So, you’re not too late.”

“Perfect timing actually.” Your dad chimed, taking a long drink from his beer.

“This is for you.”

Bucky eyed the bag you held out for him before narrowing his eyes at you. “Thought we agreed on no gifts.”

“Like you can actually expect me not to bring you a birthday gift.”

Bucky’s close proximity was driving you nuts, especially after the night before.

His lingering touches and wandering eyes making your heart race over dinner, his breath fanning your jaw and lips nearly touching the shell of your ear when he leaned in to crack a joke.

As you stood at the sink washing the dishes, you could feel his body heat radiating into your back when he stood behind you. Towering over you as his heavy left hand landed on your waist and he leaned down to talk to you.

“Come out for a smoke with me?” He asked, a suggestive tone hidden in his voice.

“I don’t smoke, you know that.” You laughed lightly, turning to face him as his hand dropped back to his side. A smirk curling the corner of his lips.

“Keep me company.”

Nodding, you followed him towards the back patio. “I know you were the one in my private chat last night, Buck. The arm made it pretty obvious.” You said once you’d slid the patio door shut, Bucky glancing at you through his eyelashes as he lit his cigarette.

“You’re not mad?” He murmured, exhaling the grey smoke.

“Well… you single-handedly paid half of my rent last night, so.” You shrugged, hooking your fingers in his belt loops to tug him closer. Looking up at him with narrowed eyes. “How long have you been watching?”

“Last night was the first time.” He took another long drag from his cigarette, looking at the cherry at the end. “A part of me wants to feel bad, because of your dad. But… I can’t even force myself to. Like- I knew you were gorgeous, but goddamn you’re a fucking goddess.” He huffed out, heat burning your cheeks as you looked up at him.

“I mean… just look at you. So cute and precious, but you’ve got a filthy mouth on you, sweets.” Your stomach flipped at his words, large hands caressing your waist before slipping down to grip your backside. “I just wanna fucking ruin you.”

“Gonna tell me what you’re gonna do to me while we’re on my dad’s patio? During you’re birthday celebration?” You teased, slipping your fingers under the hem of his t-shirt to feel the taut muscles that laid under smooth skin. “Not something that someone would do to their best friend.”

He groaned quietly, leaning down to talk in your ear. “Don’t shame me for wanting to fuck you senseless. I’d make you forget your own name, pretty girl.”

You whimpered, quickly covering it with a light laugh. “Where was all that talk last night, stud? You were wrecked for me and I never even touched you.”

His grip tightened on your ass to pull you closer. “Keep running that mouth I’ll fulfill that promise of stuffing it.” His tone was low and sultry, plucking something deep in your core as arousal pooled in your underwear.

“You’re the one who paid for me to get you off. Bet you make the cutest faces when you come.” You tested, getting a huff in response.

“Let’s see if you can keep that attitude when I’m done.”

You were quick to gather your things and head to the door once Bucky had finished his cigarette. Poking your head in the living room door where you dad was watching the tv. “Buck is giving me a ride home. Saves me money on a cab.”

“Alright, hun. Be safe- drive safe.” He gave Bucky a pointed look as a heavy hand rested on your upper arm.

“Gotta be a responsible driver with such precious cargo.” He joked, pulling the front door open.

“Drive safe, I mean it!” Your dad called as you walked out, getting a thumbs up in response.

Anticipation bubbled in your stomach during the drive as you leaned your forearm on the armrest. Turned to face Bucky as your fingers danced along the seam of his jeans, gradually creeping closer to the hardened bulge until you caressed it through the straining fabric.

Bucky’s grip on the steering wheel tightened when you gave him a light squeeze, chest heaving as he tried to focus on the road. “You’re already rock hard. Bet I could get you off before we even get to your house.”

He let out a dark chuckle, right hand moving from the shifter to prod at his belt and unfasten his pants. “Better get to work then.” He murmured, holding the back of your head as you slipped his erection out of the front of his briefs.

Bucky had to will himself to keep his eyes open when your lips wrapped around him, choking back a groan and gripping your hair as your head bobbed.

The position wasn’t the most comfortable, but the rewarding sounds that filled the small space made every second worth it. His hips rolling up slightly to push further into your mouth, left hand gripping the steering wheel so tight it would be surprising if there weren’t dents where his fingers were.

Luckily there was a red light when the swirling pressure started to crest higher, Bucky’s hand urging you further down in him until your throat constricted around him and hot spurts of his release flooded your taste buds. A drawn out moan vibrating from his chest as his head rested back against the headrest, riding out the aftershocks with gentle rolls of his hips until you pulled away. Cock still twitching as he grabbed your chin in his hand, smashing his lips to yours.

You traced your fingertips over his softening cock as his tongue slipped into your mouth, moaning at the taste of himself lingering on your tongue.

“Told ya’.” You smiled against his lips, his fingers digging further into your cheeks.

“Sweets, your pretty cunt probably can’t take me. Stop being a brat.”

Once Bucky had finally pulled into his driveway, you could feel a nervous twist in your stomach. Not one that made you want to back out, but one that added to the excitement that had your heart pumping since the talk on your dad’s patio.

“You’re clean right?” You asked as you guided Bucky’s shirt up, backing him to the bed as he slipped it off over his head.

“Of course.” He nodded, discarding his jeans and boxers before a hand pressed to the center of his chest urged him onto the bed. Laying on his back, propped on his elbows as he watched you strip the rest of your clothing off and climb on top of him as gracefully as you could. Sitting on his lower abdomen.

Goosebumps broke out across your skin as his hands caressed your sides, ghosting over your breasts to cradle your jaw in his fingers. Pulling your lips down to his in a sweet, tender kiss. Your hands exploring the expanse of his thick chest, feeling every dip under your fingertips as a shiver rolled down his spine from the delicate touch.

A surprised squeak left your throat when he rolled to hover over you. Soft lips and scratchy facial hair tracing your skin as he kissed his way down your neck and chest, sinking his teeth into the top of your breast until you let out a squeal and tried to squirm away.

“Sorry,” Bucky chuckled, soothing over the fresh mark with his tongue before continuing his path down. Pressing your thighs further apart as your twisted his short hair between your fingers. Heart thumping in your chest as he moved your thighs to rest on his shoulders and teased everywhere besides where you needed him.

“James, don’t tease.” You groaned, trying to buck your hips to meet his mouth before his bionic left arm draped over your stomach to hold them down.

“M’not teasing, just appreciating.” He breathed out, grazing his teeth along your inner thigh until a needy whine poured from your lips and you squeezed his hair.

You swore you were already teetering on the edge, that the moment you felt his warm tongue against your throbbing clit you’d turn to putty in his hands.

And you weren’t completely wrong-

But, Bucky wasn’t stopping at just one. His mouth not lifting from your cunt as you tried to squirm from his hold, aftershocks never seeming to stop the twitches of your body.

You weren’t sure if you wanted to push him away or keep grinding your hips against his sinful mouth. Lust blown eyes locked on the fucked out look on your face as he nuzzled his face closer, gently shaking his head as your fingers pulled his hair to the point of pain that only made his cock twitch against the mattress.

Your thighs squeezing around his head as you screamed out his name, another body writhing orgasm surging through you as you absentmindedly rode his face. The groan that vibrated against your cunt only adding to the shocks of bliss.

“Fuck, Bucky…” you panted, throat scratchy from the countless highs he pulled from you in less than an hour as he finally lifted himself from between your thighs. Lips shiny with your arousal as he gave you a cocky grin.

“Even sweeter than I imagined.” He breathed out, fisting over himself to relieve some of the ache. “Need’a minute?”

You nodded softly, leaning up to latch your lips to the base of his throat. Hand holding the back of his neck as he let out a content sigh when your other went down to trace along the throbbing vein on the underside of his cock.

“Seeing you tug your cock last night was the best thing I’d seen all week, stud.” You teased, the throaty chuckle that sounded from him making you clench around nothing as his hand replaced yours. Swollen head slipping through your folds.

“Still got that attitude.”

You gasped out when he fully seated himself in your oversensitive walls in a fluid thrust, a guttural moan filling your ears as you tried to adjust to the sudden stretch in the brief time he gave before setting a ruthless pace.

“This cunt is heaven-“ he groaned, gripping your waist as he sat up more. Watching how you stretched around him. His pace bordering brutal as you screamed out for him, hands gripping and clawing at whatever smooth, sweat slicked skin they could reach. Supple flesh of your chest bouncing with each punishing snap of his hips.

Your mind was a floating mess, only able to focus on the delectable pleasure that coursed through you from how perfectly he was splitting you open. Your eyes peaking open to watch his blissed out features- jaw slack to let almost pornographic moans fall out and chest slick with sweat as he fucked into you.

The soft clink of his dog tags being drowned out by the salacious sound of skin slapping and the squelch of your cunt. Your shaky hand reaching up to hook your fingers in the chain, tugging him down to you for a sloppy kiss. Swallowing moans and sharing breaths as your hand slipped up to wrap around his neck and apply a little pressure to the sides.

It took Bucky off-guard, but only added to the building pleasure in his abdomen. Managing to move his fingers to your clit as he found the spot in your walls that pulled the most reactions and fucked into it.

Over and over until an orgasm hit him so hard he thought he was going to black out for a moment. Holding himself up on his left forearm as he pushed as deep as he could and spilled into you. Your teeth digging into his bottom lip and nails carving down his back as you rode through your own.

Taking a minute to gather his bearings and blink away the stars in his vision, Bucky slowly pulled away. Heart beating so hard and fast he thought it would pound out of his chest if he moved too fast.

The shocks of bliss were still wracking through you as he slipped from between your thighs. Smooth metal and warm flesh hands caressing over your form as you draped your forearm over your eyes.

“You okay? Need anything?” Bucky silky voice was barely audible over the dull ring in your ears as you shook your head. Relishing in the way he was making over you as you came down from the final mind blanking high.

Gently massaging your thighs as he looked you over, so gorgeous and fucked out. Skin radiant with the post orgasm glow as you laid bare in front of him.

“C’mon, pretty girl. A hot shower will help.” He cooed, carefully helping you up and out of bed. Biting back a chuckle as you stood on wobbly legs.

But even the deep ache in your abdomen didn’t stop your teasing tone. “Knew you looked handsome when you come.”

Your body was still sore as you shifted around in the comfortable bed, the shower from the first round not stopping another two before both of you tapped out from exhaustion.

Bucky’s bare form was pressed in close from behind as you looked over your shoulder. Being met with a kind smile and those enchanting blue eyes as he laid on his side, propped on his elbow.

“Watching me sleep like a creep?” You teased as he grazed his knuckles along your upper arm. Earning a quiet laugh from him.

“Wore me out last night. Don’t think I’ve gone three times in one night in years.” He hummed, pressing his fingertips under your jaw for you to tilt your head back before tilting his head and locking your lips with his for a brief kiss. “Be nice if we could do this again.”

“Maybe we can.” You mumbled, barely shifting your hips to press against his half-hard cock.

“I think I have one more in me- what about you?” He suggested, hand going to grip the outside of your thigh.

“You’re insatiable.”

“Can just slip in how we are right now.” Bucky breathed out, hand slipping up to grope at your chest and erection pressing into your ass.

“What are you waiting for then, lover boy?” You purred, feeling his hand go between you before his tip prodded your already slick folds.

It was more intimate than the night before- hips slowly rolling into you as he grunted quietly in your ear. Gradually urging your front to the mattress until his sturdy frame was waving over your, stomach brushing your back as he started to grind into your ass. Staying buried deep to keep his tip pressed into the sweet spot furthest in your walls until you reached a breathless orgasm.

“Feels s’perfect being inside you. Don’ want anyone else now.” You whined at the slip of words, hand reaching back to grip the supple flesh of his ass as he filled you with his spend again before pulling away. Fingers grazing along your spine and a tender kiss pressed to your shoulder.

“You wanna be mine, sweets?”

—————

@duchessoftheheart @uhhnahhthnx @magicaleternal @cwbucky @marvel-3407 @thefallenbibliophilequote @goldylions @rbookgirl23 @missusbarnes-rogers @auriel187 @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @littlemissthistle @cupcakehinch @chunky-yet-funky @thegirlnextdoorssister @emmywinningengineer @spideysimpossiblegirl @treatbuckywkisses @simplyparker

SILVER ➳ BUCKY BARNES MASTERLIST

➳ summary: When your best friends Peter, MJ, and Ned drag you along to a concert, you never expected to fall head over heels with the band, more so the drummer. Wild and erotic, Bucky Barnes is a rich rock star who gets everything handed to him. Between the money, fame, and platinum records, he has a nasty reputation. But when an innocent girl like you comes along, he can't stay away.

➳ pairing: rockstar!Bucky Barnes x College!Reader

➳ warnings: will feature smut, suggestive themes, angst, age gap; Reader is 20, Bucky is 30

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

C H A P T E R S

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➳ two

➳ three

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➳ five

➳ six

➳ seven

➳ eight

➳ nine

➳ ten

➳ eleven

➳ twelve

➳ thirteen

➳ fourteen

➳ fifteen

➳ sixteen

L I N K S

➳ spotify playlist

➳ the color collection masterlist

➳ If you love SILVER, check out my original fic on Wattpad; MY SWEETEST ADDICTION

When your fall in love with your flatmate

The second part of my fic: When your flatmate is a jerk

Warning: Smut, explicit sex

(Eng is not my first language.)

After patching things up with James you became good friends. In the end, nothing happened between you two, and you decided to bury in the back of your mind those feelings that your flatmate waked in you. If there was sexual tension between the two of you, you both decided to ignore it. That was easier than trying to figure out where that unusual relationship could lead. 

In the time you had been friends you discovered a playful and childlike James. When he genuinely smiled his eyes sparkled and he looked so soft that your heart could melt. Also the coming and going of women had stopped and on nights when the ex-soldier couldn't sleep you would set up a fort in the living room and watch movies until you fell asleep, ending up always waking up in your own bed the next morning.

Over time you had come to realize that what was really going on was not that James couldn't sleep but that he was afraid to do it. When he closed his eyes the war came back and nightmares haunted him. It only happened once but Barnes was very tired and you were watching a documentary which he found very boring. He fell asleep and before you knew it his body was shaking, his fists were clenched and he was sweating. You tried to wake him up and when you finally did, what you saw broke your heart, James' eyes tinged with terror. “Shhh, you are here.” you whispered trying to calm him down. You tried to touch him but he shunned you as if your skin burned. 

"I'll go take a shower..." he blurted out as if nothing had happened and before you could say anything else he disappeared. You never commented on what happened and James never fell asleep again. He always did something to prevent it and you were well aware of it. 

Sometimes you realize that James was still keeping secrets like the card you found while you were doing laundry. It was all wet and crumpled but still readable. It looked like a support group for war veterans. You were happy for him but also hurt that he didn't tell you anything about it. Well, it's not like he had to do it but still... You spent the rest of the day thinking about it, you wanted James to trust you in the same way you had trusted him by telling him about your life and problems. Yes, maybe he wasn't the same as you, but you weren't just flatmates, you were… friends… 

At dinnertime, you were distracted and Barnes was quick to notice. That night it was your turn to cook dinner and you had left the fridge open, you almost burned the vegetables you were cooking and it was impossible to keep a conversation with you. 

Those blue eyes could read you as an open book and he was pretty sure that something was off. "Anything happened today?” he didn't take long to ask you, beating around the bush wasn't his thing. You were so caught off guard that the plates in your hands fell off. You immediately bent down to pick them up and cut yourself on one of the broken pieces. 

“Fuck…” you sobbed on the verge of tears, not because it hurted, but because you realized that your friendship with James was not enough for you. He rushed over to you and before you could react he sat you on the counter and pulled out the first aid kit. He was nervous, you could tell by how quickly his eyes scanned your body for more cuts. 

"What's wrong with you today?" You didn't know how to answer him, whether to tell him the truth or leave it alone. You ended up bursting into tears, causing the blue-eyed man to panic even more. It was a childish, snot-filled cry. "Look at me." James pleaded, trying to calm you down "Tell me what's going on, please." With no idea what to do, he started rubbing your back and wiping away the tears that kept coming. Crying prevented you from speaking and you could only fall even more in love with the man in front of you. He was so worried about you that it hurt you not to be able to give him the answer he wanted. "Maybe are you… on one of those days?." he tried to ask gently, not wanting to offend you.  You couldn't help but laugh through your tears. 

"No..." you murmured, losing yourself in his blue eyes. "The problem…. is that I think… I'm in love with you." you confessed, terrified of losing the warmth of that man. James blinked a couple of times in confusion, he was still processing your confession. 

"Are you crying because you're in love with me?” He wanted to be sure of what he had heard. You just nodded, unable to repeat those words. "Do you want to kill me with a fucking heart attack?" he breathed in relief. He cradled your face in his hands and put his own at your eye level. "You idiot..." he pressed his forehead to yours. "I thought something bad happened." You were so close that his scent surrounded you and his breath when he spoke brushed your cheeks. 

"I think falling in love with a flatmate is bad enough..." You tried to fake a smile but you only managed to make a grimace. 

"But what if that flatmate is also in love with you?" he whispered in your ear before burying you in his arms, unable to meet your gaze. Your heart was racing and the tears stopped, suddenly your face turned red and your palms started sweating. Was he saying what you thought he was saying? 

"You're shaking..." Barnes let out a small laugh and you noticed the weight of his head on top of yours. 

“Whose fault do you think it is?” You tried to free yourself from his embrace but his strength far outweighed yours. Then you realized that your face was at the level of his chest and his heart was racing. "You don't look any better..." you answered back. "And that's your fault..." he sighed. 

Argh... You wanted to see his face so badly. Lose yourself in his blue eyes... Kiss him... "Let me see your face..." you begged. Your hands scratching his back weakly. You were desperate to feel all of him. Then you had an idea... You were still sitting on the countertop and you took advantage of the situation to wrap your legs around him and close the little distance that remained between you. 

"Don't play with fire, y/n." he gasped as he brushed against you. 

"But you just said…" you put your arms around him, trying to win him over. 

"If it were up to me I'd make you mine right now..." you noticed how her voice sounded desperate. "But then there'll be no turning back..." You understood what he meant because it was the same fear you had. But it was even more painful not to have it than to try and have it not work. "You're not going to lose me, whatever happens between us." you let him know. "But we can’t stay like this forever…" you scoffed at the situation. 

Your words had an effect and James' grip relaxed, you could finally look at him... His pupils were dilated and his mouth slightly ajar. "Fuck, you're beautiful." he smiled tenderly. His big hands slid over your back, one ended up on your waist and the other on the back of your neck. "I'm going to kiss you..." he announced "And you're not going to be able to get rid of me from now on.". A nervous laugh escaped you "Is that a promise or a warning?"  James lost all the little willpower he had left and crashed into your lips. "A promise for sure." his kisses were eager and intoxicating, your whole body reacted to him. There wasn't a nook that didn't crave his touch. 

You both clung to each other as if you were afraid the other would disappear at any moment as if even all the time in the world wasn't enough to quench the longing you had for each other.  “Fuck…” you both gasped into each other's mouths, which caused you to grin like dorks at the coincidence.  That kitchen was getting too small and the clothes were starting to get in the way. 

“Is this all we are going to do?” You said burying yourself in James' neck, leaving little kisses. Your hands slipping under his clothes, enjoying the heat emanating from James' body. You couldn’t wait anymore.

“What else do you want to do?” Barnes teased you by squeezing your thighs and bringing you even closer to him. You knew he needed you as much as you needed him, his erection wasn’t going unnoticed under his jeans. You tried to touch it but James stopped you by grabbing your wrists. “What's the hurry? I asked you a question.” he smiled mischievously. 

“But you know exactly what I want.” you gave him your most powerful puppy eyes.  “And you want it too…” 

You were not lying, he was craving for you since the day he almost lost you for that jerk, the day that he almost kissed you but he chickened because you made him feel something for the first time since he left the army. “You have no idea…” he sighed in defeat. After all the shit and madness he saw in the war, you were the light at the end of the tunnel, so beautiful and special that he was afraid to ruin it, to end up hurting you. 

He kissed you with so much tenderness that took you by surprise as if you were to break into his arms. You could feel his love in every kiss, you didn’t need to hear those words. He was telling you with all his body. Without stopping kissing you for a second, he took you to your room. It was the first time he crossed the threshold while you were awake, hundreds of times he had taken you to bed but never like this. You lost track of time and space, all you could think about was James, his blue eyes, the jaw that clenched every time one of your clothes fell to the floor. With his mouth, he worshiped every part of your body and while you were still standing in front of your bed he knelt before you and sunk his face into your stomach. Your smell was addictive, your skin tasted like honey. He continued down until he reached the edge of your panties. Your wetness did not go unnoticed, you had been dreaming about it for so long that for a second you were terrified to think it was all a dream. But the little kisses and nibbles inside your thighs made it clear you weren't dreaming. You wanted him as much as he wanted you. He didn't think twice and threw off the cloth that separated him from your core. You gasped, the image of James between your legs was more than you could ever imagine. “You are perfect…” he purred less than an inch from your cunt and you could only bury your fingers in his hair, biting your lip in anticipation. He gave you a last look before taking care of your needy clit, her eyes were completely black. 

“Fuck.” He knew what he was doing. His tongue traveling up and down between your lips, focusing on your clit. Your wetness helping him when his fingers decided to join and help in his aim to make you cum like never before. 

You could no longer stand on your feet, your legs were shaking too much and James' body could no longer hold you up. He stopped leaving you hungry but it didn't take him long to put you on all fours on the bed and bury himself again between your legs. In that position you couldn't see him but you could feel his hands on your ass caressing it. “Please, James…” you moaned. You wanted to feel him inside you, ending with that feeling of longing. 

“Again without asking properly.” He turned you over like it was nothing and sat down on the bed. "Maybe you want to show me what you want to do." You didn't even think about it for a second, you laid him down on the bed and got on top of him. You knew how to play too. 

***

His calm breathing gave you peace, you felt a certain pride in thinking that maybe his nightmares knew that someone was watching over his sleep and had decided to give him a truce, at least for that night. A tender smile came over your face, James sleeping like a baby was an image you could burn into your forehead and never tire of.

"Do I have something on my face?" his still half-asleep voice was low and somewhat raspy.

You felt embarrassed, you didn’t expect to be caught drooling over him so soon, at least not at the beginning of your relationship. Wait… Relationship? Was it real? You and he were a thing? Would James be a long-term relationship guy? His track record didn't play in his favor, but the night before he had told you he loved you too. That had to mean more than a one-night stand. 

“Morning.” you murmured a little bit anxious, your own thoughts running like crazy, but then he kissed you on the forehead, sweet and slow. 

“Morning.” he smiled at you, his eyes full of love. “Hope you slept well…”

Then you realized there was shyness in James' words, you weren't the only one who felt vulnerable at a time like that.

“Better than ever.” You smiled back and gave him a quick kiss on his lips. 

“That makes two of us.” he seemed to relax and in that moment you knew he was not playing, that was real. “Oh, now that I remember. I wanted to tell you last night but things got out of hand.” he squeezed against his chest. “I'm going to start a veterans' support group. I ran into a friend from then and he told me that he was running one.” 

You didn't expect him to tell you, in the end, last night was all due, a little bit, to that. You felt stupid. If only you had given him the time... Well, maybe you wouldn't have ended up in his arms and surrounded by his scent. 

“You deserve it.” your hand found his, and intertwined fingers. 

“Yes… I think it’s time to face the past and focus on my future.” he kissed you again this time on the nose. You were excited to face the future with him…

The Greatest Gift of All

(Inspired by^ for the people who asked :D hope it was worth the wait!)

*

Long before the war, before Captain America or the Winter Soldier, there was simply Bucky and Steve. At least, that's what history says. But they missed out one very important person, a girl called Y/N.

Women in those times often found themselves with little opportunity, and only two easily attainable pathways in life: wife and mother. But Y/N carved out a life for herself that defied all expectations, and it all started in Brooklyn.

She dived headlong into scuffles, usually next to Bucky in defence of Steve. Regardless of the opponent, Y/N stood by them both, and often held her own quite impressively.

Her dress style borrowed from more masculine cuts, and Y/N was never seen without her cap. A lot of people had a problem with this, but she shut them up fairly swiftly.

Everything about this girl drew Bucky in, a battle he fought with little effort. They reveled in each other, flaunting their love at every opportunity. More than a few were jealous that the rough and tumble girl got the best looking boy in town. 

In a way, before even coming of age, they started an adult life together. The three of them moved into a flat. Y/N and Bucky took hard labour jobs, or anything they could get. They had little room to be picky. 

Both managed to hook steady summer jobs at the local docks. They used most of their money to keep a roof over their heads, buy food, and pay for Steve's medical needs. He attended art school, and sold his work every now and then; but physically, he was in no condition to work.

The war appeared on the horizon, just as they started to pull themselves an inch above the poverty line. Y/N saw it coming, the inevitable. She treasured every second they spent together, and dreaded the day when the draft came.

A lot of the older women she worked with were disrespectful, looking down on her pre-marital relationship with Bucky. They claimed she couldn't possibly understand their grief, despite the fact Y/N had seen Bucky off at the docks that very morning. 

In truth, they already planned on being married, but at the time, they simply didn't have the funds. Bucky promised, once the war ended, that ring would be on her finger.

Except, he never came home. Not properly. The person Hydra gave back to Y/N was damaged and jaded, angry at the world, angrier than she ever saw. But still, they loved each other. Though she never forgave them for stealing away his innocence, for trying to snuff out the light in his soul. A part of him would always belong to them, and she hated it.

Refusing to stay home while they risked their lives, never knowing, Y/N trained as an army nurse, working specially with the Howling Commandos unit.

Then one day, she went out to welcome them back from a mission. Every face looked devastated, but none more so than Steve. His eyes, red-raw and streaming, seemed incapable of rising from the ground. At first, the realisation didn't process, the idea simply incomprehensible. He promised.

Dugan was the one to finally break through and catch Y/N as she fell, holding her as the tears poured. Once he shook off his daze, Steve took his place, sharing in her grief.

Her world fell apart so quickly, with no warning and no mercy. Their commanders celebrated the capture of Arnim Zola, while Y/N and Steve sat, staring at an empty place at their side.

Everyone mourned Bucky, and swiftly after, began to mourn Y/N, too. The loss took a part of her...the sparkle, the happiness, the laugh that lit up her face. It all vanished. She worked hard, looked after them all, but only Steve was able to make her smile. Even then, it looked pained.

So when Steve went down with the plane, the very last shred of Y/N died with him. No tears left her eyes, no screams ripped up her throat. A cold numbness took over, freezing the woman from the inside out. 

V-Day came and went. The Commandos stood and drank to their lost comrades, and Dugan silently drank another...for the loss of a bright, fiery girl who had virtually nothing to lose, and still lost everything.

She spent her days as a robot, doing nothing but going through the motions of badly imitating life. The flat was empty and quiet, yet somehow, bursting with the ghosts of her loved ones. Nightmares plagued her, terrible images of Bucky's body, forever trapped in a freezing hell, nothing but food for the birds. And Steve, his body...was it cast adrift in the ocean? Or destroyed, burnt to ash in the belly of a metal beast. 

They were simple folk before the war turned them into soldiers, into weapons. Before symbols and flags stole away their names, driving them to sacrifice their lives for a greater cause.

Y/N knew their fight against Hydra was important...knew the honour behind their sacrifice. But when it's you left sitting at an empty dinner table, it's much easier to be angry and bitter.

She never married, never settled, bouncing around countries working as an army nurse. The Commandos slowly died around her, each one fading to grey as the curtain drew the show to a close. Each death, each funeral ripped open her wounds, bigger and deeper each time. Until eventually, Y/N let the blood flow freely.

Or at least, that's what would have happened. But one choice, one decision, made by a boy she thought dead in the far future, changed it all.

*

Bucky Barnes struggled to find himself again. His memories were mostly all returned, if a bit hazy and fragmented. He had Steve there to right any wrong recollections, and connect with on their shared experiences. But something always seemed to be missing, a piece of the jigsaw that hadn't been found.

He remembered Y/N. He remembered her clearer than anything. She was glowing like honey in the sun when Bucky closed his eyes and brought her back to mind.

Face covered in muck, hair tousled and streaked with grease from the boats, soot on the very tip of her nose and a cap perched jauntily on her head; wearing the deepest expression of concentration as she aimed a hanful of rotten fish guts at the sleezy Connell boy from Fifth, who decided his opinion on her backside mattered. The image shone crystal clear. Her laughter, rolling out from between curved lips, beautiful and full of mischief. 

It never failed to make him smile. Or cry. Or sometimes, both. He missed Y/N than he thought possible for a human being. 

Bucky often wondered about her life, whether she went on to marry, or maybe even have children. Was she happy? Did she bury him and move on? If they met today, would Y/N even recognise the man he was now? 

More importantly, in his mind, something he both feared and longed to know: would she still love him?

Unbeknownst to Bucky, Steve saw all this. Understood, to a degree, his pain. But he and Peggy never got the chance to bond so strongly. He knew Bucky needed him, but Steve also knew he needed Y/N more.

So once his goodbyes were said, he looked one last time at Bucky, and smiled beneath his suit as he vanished into time.

*

The living room looked exactly the same as he remembered. Bucky's coat, slung over the back of the chair, his sketchbooks strewn around the desk. Every rip and chip. His heart swelled with nostalgia, and pain, thinking of the life they were supposed to have.

What must have been in their heads...running off to fight, so eager to throw everything away. And who was left to stare at empty beds and eat breakfast alone every morning? Y/N.

His chest constricted, hearing the keys in the door, the lock rattling three times before letting her in. His nerve faltered for the briefest second, wondering if he was ready to see her again.

"Who the hell are you?!"

Time's up.

Slowly, he turned, and watched as Y/N's eyes widened, all the bags in her hands falling to the floor with a crash.

"...Stevie?" The name came out as a whisper, nearly inaudible.

He grinned, laughing as tears stung his eyes. "Hey, spitfire. Long time no see."

"Steve!" She launched herself at him, arms wrapping around his neck and clinging on for dear life. 

Catching her by the waist, he swung Y/N around, burying his face in her hair. They held onto one another as if they might vanish if they let go. But after a minute, Steve gently pushed her back.

"How? How are you here? What are you wearing? I don't understand, Steve, they said you died! Your plane went down in the ocean," she stammered, hand on his forearm with a grip like a vice.

"I survived. The serum kept me alive in the ice for seventy years," he said, questioning his own sanity momentarily; standing in the flat again made everything that happened seem like a distant dream.

Y/N frowned, brows knitting together. "What? Did you hit your head? Steve, this is 1945."

"I know, I came from 2023. I'm alive," he said, and saw her mentally backing away, so added, "I'm alive, and so is Bucky."

Her head snapped up, eyes immediately filling with tears. A dozen emotions whizzed through them in a second; disbelief, pain, hope. It shone clearly in her face as she stepped closer.

What did you say?" She asked, voice choked as she brought her shaking hands up to her mouth.

"Bucky's alive," he repeated softly, "and I can send you to him, in the future. But we don't have a lot of time. You need to listen to me, carefully, and do what I say."

She spluttered, struggling for words. "I, but...what about you?"

"I've made my decision," Steve said, and gently took her hands in his, "now, please, listen."

*

Bucky watched the machine, feeling a wave of numbness wash over his insides. Nothing was a better deal than the pain, the cruel sting of betrayal fighting to be felt. But he beat it back, unable to allow those thoughts validation.

Steve gave up so much for him, he fought for years to get him here. Steve deserved this. And no matter how wrong those words sounded in his head, he resolutely stood by them. 

The seconds ticked by, noted by Bruce's countdown. A flash of guilt almost made Bucky explain what was going to happen, explain that Steve left them. Left him. But he possessed no energy to speak, they'd see in a second, when no one appeared-

Zap. A blinding flash of light.

There's someone there.

Bucky frowned, hands falling from his pockets. Did Steve change his mind? Did he...

All the thoughts in his head stopped as the figure stepped down. Too small, too lithe for it to be Steve. Bucky's heart rate quickened, something in his unconscious already registering his recognition. 

The suit fell away, and if he weren't frozen in place, Bucky wouldn't have been standing. A quiver shot through him, nearly buckling his knees. Shock, fear and pure disbelief all delayed his reaction.

Y/N looked around, amazed, but turned to stone as she set eyes on him. Her face went utterly blank, a strangled sound leaving her lips.

Wearing her yard slacks, with a small bag on her shoulder, her face covered in dirt, hair streaked with grease, cap perched on-top, slanted to one side...she was everything he remembered, and his heart tried to leave his chest to go to her. To be whole again.

But fear held him back. She didn't know the things he'd done, the person he became after the train accident. What if-

"Who is she?" Sam asked, glaring as he stalked towards her, an accusation rising on his lips.

Bucky answered without hesitation, or thinking; the question had been asked countless times over the years. It always recieved the same reply. "My doll."

Sam stopped short, glancing between them, the way neither took their eyes off the other. He nodded, brows still closely knit, and backed off.

Slowly, Y/N approached, encouraged by the sound of his voice. She reached out carefully, when she got close enough. Trembling fingers brushed his cheek, and a shudder ran through her. 

"My Bucky..." She said quietly, eyes roaming over his face, a small smile tugging at her lips, "...you're here, in front of me. Alive."

He swallowed dryly, heart thundering away beneath his skin. "I'm different...you don't know..."

No sooner had the words left his mouth that her eyes found the cold metal where his flesh used to be. In reaching to hold it, she'd been taken by surprise.

Gently, Y/N took the hand in her own, examing the limb with a careful gaze. Moments passed, and she met his eyes again. Bucky steeled himself for rejection, for the disgust and horror.

Her hand went back to his cheek, and he involuntairly leaned into it. The warmth seeped into his blood. She stood on her tip toes, the smile on her lips blossoming into a bright beam of sunlight. "You've always been my Bucky, and always will be. Metal appendages and all."

He fell apart and dove down to capture her lips, clutching her to him with the hunger of a starving man. She pulled herself in, hands tangling in his brown locks, and both tasted salt on the others' lips.

So filled with joy his heart could burst, Bucky revelled in the feeling of holding his girl again. Laughing through the tears, he buried his face in her neck.

Thank you, Steve, for the greatest gift of all.

Piece of art 💓🦇

unsolved masterlist

Summary: Bucky doesn't even believe in the paranormal. So who the hell thought it was a good idea to stick him in a series about everything haunted for the internet's amusement? With his loose-canon of a teammate who has no concept of subtlety or any shits left to give, to make things even worse.

(Buzzfeed unsolved AU)

Warnings: cursing, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, horror/paranormal elements

Disclaimer: no plot just vibes <3 it's just another banger dynamic that i loved and therefore had to write a garbage fic about. This is, in no way, a literary masterpiece so just be warned.

Here’s my Ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing!

to keep up with updates for this fic and others, please follow @shurisneakersupdates and turn on post notifications!

Part 1

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Part 5

Part 6

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Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Small Circles

Summary : Bucky Barnes is still getting used to modern dating… and hates that you have to work with your exes.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x vigilante!reader (she/her)  / ex!various MCU anti-heroes/vigilantes x ex!reader

Warnings/tags : jealous!Bucky. Bi!Reader Hurt/comfort. Injury, references to violence, sex references. Reader used to be an anti-hero, and also used to date a lot of anti heroes. Angst/Fluff!!!!

Word count : 7.7k

Note : Retroactive jealousy is very common, and I definitely struggled with it when I first started dating my partner. I don’t really see it solved healthily in fiction, so I thought I’d write about it. I just finished moving in, so I will resume my series writing soon! And please, if you’d like to be on the taglist, message me! It gets lost in the comments sometimes. Enjoy!

Bucky Barnes didn’t talk about his exes.

For one, they were from a time when women wore red lipstick like armour and wrote love letters to the men who might not make it back home. Two, in the 1940s, talking about past relationships was basically the equivalent to hanging your dirty laundry out in the street— and not just because most of them ended with him shipping out to war. Sex and feelings simply didn’t belong in polite company.

But here he was, in the 21st century, trying to navigate dating after missing eight decades of social evolution— trying to keep up with you. 

And god, he hadn’t stood a chance from the moment you first met.

You were the first person he met post-pardon that didn’t look at him like the sum of his past. Sam introduced you at a bar in D.C.—nothing fancy, just three tired veterans nursing drinks and pretending the world wasn’t still spinning out of control.

“She’s an old friend,” Sam said. “Used to serve with me in the air force. Then she went off grid and disappeared to be an antihero—”

“Vigilante,” you corrected, scoffing.

“Whatever,” Sam rolled his eyes, “But she’s retired now.”

“You’re prettier than the photos.” You gave Bucky a once-over. “Grumpier, too.”

He blinked, thrown off by how casual you were, and before he could respond, you leaned in and asked, “You always look like someone stole your puppy, or is that just for special occasions?”

Sam just laughed and walked off to grab another round, leaving Bucky staring at the woman who didn’t flinch when he said “Winter Soldier” like it was some contagious disease.

Instead, you talked and talked through the night. At one point, he was talking about his brainwashing, and you just leaned your elbow on the bar, eyes on his metal hand, and said, “I’ve done worse.”

It was the first time someone didn’t try to talk him out of his guilt. You didn’t say he was “more than his past.” 

You didn’t try to fix him. 

You just looked at him and recognised the survivor with blood under his nails and scars that never faded.

That night, he walked you home. It was supposed to be a formality, but you talked the whole way, about the desert missions you and Sam survived, about the ops you ran without orders, about why you quit the military, and the blurry line between heroes and people who did what had to be done.

“Why’d you retire?” he asked at your door.

“After the Blip, I helped the Avengers out. Did some good. Got tired of seeing my hands stained red, even when it was for the right reasons.” You shrugged.  “Figured if I couldn’t die, I might as well live. Got a nice place. Set up offshore accounts. Now I make pancakes and talk to my plants.”

He smiled. 

“What about you, Barnes?” You asked, leaning against the doorframe. “You ever get tired of the life?”

Fuck, he hadn’t flirted in decades. He wasn't even sure if he still knew how anymore. 

But with you, it was easy. It was awkward at first, sure, but you laughed every time he stumbled, and you never once made him feel like he was too broken to try.

He brought you flowers a week later. 

Tulips. 

He had said he read somewhere that they meant forgiveness. You didn’t ask who he was forgiving.

“I’m not afraid of your past,” you told him one night, sitting on the floor of your living room after Sam convinced him to take you out on a date. “Not when I’ve got one that would make priests faint.”

He looked at you then, and the walls he’d spent so many years building fell all at once, because you weren’t someone he had to hide from. 

You weren’t afraid of the blood on his hands, because you’d seen it on your own.

So you became a couple. 

Three years later, he still couldn’t believe how easily you loved him.

You were loud where he was quiet, open here he was closed— a perfect balance. 

You called his name like it wasn’t borrowed from another lifetime. And for the first time, he wasn’t just surviving— he was healing. 

He was planning a future. 

With you.

And then… Sam had to drag you back into the field.

That’s when everything started to unravel.

See, Sam had said it would be one mission.

"Just a quick assist," he told you, sliding a file across the table while Bucky sat beside you, arms crossed and already suspicious. "No big commitment. We just need someone who knows how to hit hard and get out clean. I know what you’re capable of,” Sam leaned back and crossed his arms, “And this has your style written all over it.”

“This isn’t just a mission,” You raised an eyebrow, flipping through the folder and studying the requirements. “This is a clusterfuck.”

“That’s why we need you,” Sam fogged. “Come on, for old times’ sake.”

You said yes. 

Later that night, Bucky looked at you like Sam had handed you a grenade. “You’re retired.”

You smiled sadly. “It’s just one job, Buck.”

And at the time, you meant it. 

You really did. 

You had an house together, the pancakes and the plants. 

You had Bucky. 

You had a life.

But then you got out there again—suited up, boots in the dirt, heart pounding like it used to—and it was like a switch was flipped in you.

Adrenaline was one hell of a drug.

You weren’t craving chaos or the violence. Not anymore. 

Unlike your antihero days, you didn’t kill this time. You’d made that choice before stepping onto the field. You weren’t going to be the person who solved problems with blood anymore.

But the mission lit something inside you all the same.

Perhaps it was control. Perhaps it was purpose. Or clarity. 

The world didn’t make much sense most of the time, but in the field, you knew exactly who you were.

So when you came back home after that mission—Bucky could already see it in your eyes.

“You’re going back,” he said flatly, watching you drop your gear in the hallway.

You shrugged, breathless, hair stuck to your forehead. “I mean… yeah. I missed it. But I’m not that person anymore, Buck. No killing. Just in and out. Recon only. You know the drill.”

Bucky didn’t answer. 

Because part of him was proud. You’d stepped back into that world on your terms.

But another part of him… was afraid of who you were behind the mask.

—

The first sign was Matt Murdock.

It was your and Bucky’s first mission together since you’d unretired. Sam had assigned a simple intel grab in Hell’s Kitchen. You needed a legal inside man, someone who knew the network by heart, and Sam had said, “You still got a contact in New York, right?”

That’s how you and Bucky ended up across the table from Matt in his firm, the three of you tucked into a room that smelled like paper and secrets.

From the moment you walked in, there was chemistry— it wasn’t active, nor was it inappropriate, but it was present. 

Bucky could see it in the way Matt tilted his head to the sound of your laugh, how your posture relaxed like muscle memory. It was subtle, but it was there.

“You told him,” he said with a small smile. He could hear it in Bucky’s heartbeat. “About my… other job.”

You glanced at Bucky, who was stiff beside you. “Yeah,” you said. 

Matt hummed. That told him more than it should. “You must be serious about him, then.”

You just nodded, infuriatingly calm and confident. “I am.”

Bucky didn’t say anything. He didn’t trust himself to, especially because Matt’s voice was too casual when he added, “We used to be a thing, her and I.”

It wasn’t a dig. It wasn’t even smug. But it was there. As far as Bucky was concerned, it was a punchline with no joke attached.

You shrugged as the meeting wrapped, grabbing your jacket. 

“His job and crime fighting? No time for me,” you whispered an explanation on your way out. 

But it was the way you said it— the lack of apology. It was the way you weren’t surprised your old flame was part of the mission. 

“You never told me he was your ex,” Bucky mumbled under his breath. 

“We never had to meet any of my exes in retirement,” you shrugged.

That night, Bucky lay awake in your bed, staring at the ceiling while your body curled toward his. 

But all he could think about was Matt fucking Murdock—Daredevil. Lawyer by day, masked vigilante by night. Another man who had kissed you, fought beside you, known you in a world Bucky still wasn’t sure he fully belonged in.

What the hell.

This was the first time you’d fought side by side. The first time he saw how natural you were when the mask slipped back on. And suddenly, Bucky was wondering if he was the only one still trying to catch up.

—

The conversation about Yelena came over coffee. 

It was one of those late mornings, with sunlight spilling through the window of your kitchen, his metal fingers on your knee. You were sitting close, like always, thighs touching under the table, his hoodie drowning your body in a sense of safety. 

Bucky was scrolling through contacts Sam had floated for upcoming intel work, casually tossing out names. “Yelena Belova might be a good person to reach out to for our next mission. She’s low-profile, knows how to stay off the radar.”

He didn’t even look up when he said it, but you froze, coffee cup hovering in the air, just long enough for him to notice.

“Well… yeah. I haven’t seen her since…”

His head tilted slightly. “Since what?”

He tried to keep his voice neutral. But it came out just a little too sharp, like it scraped on the way out.

You hesitated, a little sheepish. “Since Paris. There was a caper. Messy one. We got out clean, but… one thing led to another.”

Oh.

He knew you were bi, so that wasn’t a surprise. But he never expected that knowledge to ever come with knowing names, too. 

Another sip of coffee wouldn’t fix the knot in Bucky’s stomach, but he took one anyway. It gave him something to do besides look at you—at the woman he’d fallen in love with, who kissed him in the dark and said “I love you” every night.

He nodded pretending it was fine. Pretending it didn’t sting.

But it did. Because it was another name from the same small, bloodstained circle of vigilantes and morally gray heroes. 

He didn’t realise how many people you’d still work with were the same people you’d trusted with your body before you ever handed Bucky your heart.

You were experienced. Not in a shameful way, but you'd lived. You’d fought and fucked and fled and loved in all the places Bucky had never dared go. And now you were here—his—but he couldn’t stop that stupid thought in the back of his head:

Where do I even fit in the story?

You reached for his hand, your thumb brushing the metal knuckles like it was second nature. You leaned in, pressing a kiss to his temple, voice soft.

“She didn’t mean anything long-term,” you reassured him.

He wanted to believe that settled it. He wanted to lean into you, like he always did, but he froze—just for a moment. It was a childish, stupid insecurity rearing up where your warmth used to melt it down.

And Bucky hated that, even now, three years deep in love with you, he still sometimes felt like the last one to the party.

—

Then came London, and of course, Moon Knight.

It was supposed to be a clean extraction—intel swap, quick in and out. You and Bucky were working in sync like you'd done this a few times now. 

There were no hiccups, until he showed up.

You spotted him across the plaza first— casual clothes that you knew could turn into a divine suit any second, and a woman at his side. You froze instinctively, and Bucky felt it immediately.

The guy was weird in that charming, cryptic way, like he might shake your hand or break your nose, depending on what time of day it was. And you smiled at him. 

“London is always full of surprises,” you said as the man approached. You turned your attention to the two people now standing before you.

“Who am I talking to?” you asked, casual on the surface, but your eyes scanned him like they used to.

“Relax, it’s Marc.” The man gave a small, tired smile. “This is Layla.”

“Layla,” you repeated. “Nice to meet you.”

“We’re married,” Marc added.

“Good for you!” You beamed genuinely. “Seriously, never thought I’d see the day. This is my boyfriend. Bucky— Marc and I used to… date. A lifetime ago.”

Bucky gave a tight nod, hands in his pockets. “Of course you did,” he muttered under his breath.

Marc caught it. So did you. You shot Bucky a really? look, but Layla just laughed, clearly unfazed. She greeted you like she’d known about you already, because you were clearly another name Marc had mentioned.

“So… does he still talk to Khonshu in the bathroom?” you asked Layla with a crooked grin.

“All the time,” Layla said dryly. “Once, I came in to see the bathtub trashed. He said it was because of Khonshu. At least Tawaret isn’t that demanding.”

Bucky shifted uncomfortably. 

“Yeah, we weren’t all superheroes with government contracts,” Marc added, trying to joke, but there. “Some of us were just bleeding in alleyways hoping the gods were paying attention.”

Bucky wasn’t sure if that was a dig. He also wasn’t sure how to respond. Was there a polite way to talk to your girlfriend’s ex who serves a moon god and still too-casual wife who served the goddess of fertility?

You tried to smooth it over, looping your arm through Bucky’s. But he was still stuck on the fact that you had dated this man—this strange, fractured vigilante with too many voices and a ring on his finger now. You’d been part of his chaos once, too.

And that he hated that Layla was okay with it, hated that Layla was secure— because fuck, if it didn’t make him feel bad. That’s who he should be. 

He shouldn’t be bothered by any of this. But he couldn't help it, he was.

Bucky couldn’t help but feel like he was the only one trying to learn how to stand still while everyone else had already danced through the fire and survived.

He was old-fashioned. He didn’t know how to joke about weird missions with exes or that time you almost died in a tomb under the Nile.

You, on the other hand, just kept moving forward. 

And Bucky loved you—but in that moment, he felt like the odd one out in a room he hadn’t realised he was still learning to walk through.

—

Then Nebula arrived on earth, as she always did every couple of years. It was a routine visit.

She talked to Sam for a while to exchange intel, but after that… the lines between work and play got blurred.

Sam had dragged you and Bucky to a rooftop bar, insisting that even people with kill counts needed to let loose. Nebula was tagging along. She wasn’t the nightlife type, but she was making an effort to try Earth customs.

So, there you were, nursing a coke, while Bucky was ordering himself another drink. 

He was watching you across the room, laughing at something Sam had said when Nebula slid in next to you.

She said no greetings. No small talk. Just a hand on your thigh and a blunt, “Are we doing this again?”

Bucky could hear that, thanks to his enhanced hearing.

You choked slightly on your drink, startled but not shocked. You swatted her hand off gently, not unkind, but firm.

“I have a boyfriend now,” you said with a smile. You tipped your head toward Bucky’s direction. “Long-term.”

She blinked, entirely unaffected. “What’s that like?”

Bucky was across the room, eyes fixed on you. His knuckles were white around his glass.

Later, when you were alone again, Bucky asked, “You…  and her?”

You curled up beside him on the couch, his vibranium arm slung heavy over your shoulders. You kissed his jaw once, then the corner of his mouth. “It was during the Blip, when she went to Earth a lot more,” you said casually, “Long-distance didn’t work. It… happened a couple times. Nothing serious.”

Bucky didn’t answer right away.

Nothing serious.

The words sat in his gut like a stone.

That was what got him. Not that it happened. Not that you’d been with someone else. He knew—internally, logically—that he wasn’t your first. But that phrase stuck like a splinter under his skin.

Nothing serious.

You said it so easily. That sharing a bed, even briefly, didn’t matter as long as it wasn’t long-term.

But Bucky came from a different world. One where people didn’t talk about past lovers. Where something like a hand on a thigh meant you were hers.

And now here he was—three years in, in love with a woman who kissed him like he hung the moon and yet casually mentioned flings with alien assassins.

He didn’t say anything that night, but pulled you in closer and let you fall asleep on his chest.

But he stayed awake long after, staring at the ceiling.

You were his peace. 

But when it came to your past, he felt like a stranger in your house. 

—

That month after, you came home flushed with mission energy, shedding your jacket before the door had even shut.

“She’s still as annoying as ever,” you said, grinning. “Yelena. She hasn’t changed. Made me climb five flights of a condemned building instead of going around because it was ‘more fun.’ See, this is why it would have never worked out between us.”

You were buzzing— adrenaline and nostalgia glowing in you. Bucky didn’t match your energy.

He stood in the kitchen silently as he rinsed a mug. You didn’t notice at first. Or maybe you did, but you didn’t think anything of it until he set the mug down so hard, it cracked down the middle.

“You ever gonna tell me how many of these people you’ve actually slept with?”

You froze mid-step. “What?”

He turned, tense as a live wire. “Every time we go out in the field, you’ve got history with someone. Is there anyone we’ve worked with who hasn’t had a piece of you?”

Whoa. Where did this come from? 

“What the hell are you talking about?”

He didn’t back down. “I’m serious. Daredevil. Moon Knight. Nebula. Yelena. I can’t take two steps into a mission without watching someone look at you like they already know how you sound in bed.”

You blinked, stunned. “Is that what this is about? You’re jealous?”

“I’m not jealous,” he snapped. “I’m—”

“You are,” you cut in. “And possessive, apparently.”

He didn’t deny it. “I just— I can’t keep pretending like this doesn’t eat at me. I walk into a room with you and wonder who the hell knows you better than I do.”

You stared at him, chest rising and falling. “You never told me this bothered you.”

“Well, I didn’t know half this shit until the last few months!” he barked. “Because you’re so damn casual about it. ‘Oh yeah, we hooked up a few times,’ like it’s a joke—like it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Because it didn’t, Bucky!” you shouted back. “Because none of them were you. None of them lasted. You’re the only one I gave three years of my life to, and you’re standing here acting like I cheated on you with my past.”

He didn’t respond. 

And something inside you broke a little.

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” you said, smaller now. “Erase it? Lie? Pretend I lived like a nun until you came along?”

“I want to not feel like I’m sharing you with half the damn underground,” he looked down, teeth grinding.

You let out a bitter laugh. “Then maybe you should’ve picked someone from your own century.”

That landed like a slap. 

You shook your head. “We’ve got an early mission tomorrow. Get some rest.”

Without waiting for another word, you grabbed a pillow from the couch and walked down the hall.

You slept in the second bedroom that night.

You didn’t cry. But god, it hurt.

And Bucky sat awake in the kitchen for hours, guilt and resentment twisted in his chest like barbed wire, because he knew none of what he said was fair. 

But the feelings he felt were still real. And they were starting to rot.

—

In the morning, you two were so quiet still that every small sound felt amplified: the click of your knife sliding into your boot, the zip of your jacket, the dull thud of your holster being strapped across your chest.

Your movements were efficient, muscle memory from years of knowing how to armour up always kicking in.

Across the room, Bucky stood still, with his gear slung half-forgotten over his metal arm. His eyes were rimmed with red, dark bruises blooming underneath from a night without sleep, but he had a job to do, so he was awake anyway. 

“Y’know…” He finally said. “You didn’t have to sleep in the other room.”

You fastened the last strap on your thigh holster and glanced at him. “Didn’t feel like pretending we were okay.”

You saw it—the slight flinch in his muscles, the way he looked down like the floor might offer a better answer than anything in his own damn head.

“You think I don’t know we’re not okay?” he said, quieter this time. “You think I didn’t lay awake wishing I could take it back?”

“Then why’d you say it?” you snapped, finally turning to face him. 

Bucky’s mouth opened, then closed it immediately. He had no excuses.

“You didn’t ask. You never asked.” You shook your head, biting down the lump in your throat. “You just… threw it in my face like it was supposed to shame me. Like I was a toy being passed around!”

He stepped forward, desperate now. “I wasn’t trying to shame you, I— I was pissed, okay? I was stupid. I saw the way Matt looked at you, and then Nebula, and—Christ—Marc—”

“They were my exes, Bucky!” You raised your voice, “what do you want me to do? Never speak to them again? I would have no help in this line of work!”

“Doesn’t matter!” he snapped, frustration boiling over. “BecauseI feel like I’m just the guy keeping your seat warm.”

You stared at him, throat tight. “That’s what you think I’m doing? Killing time?”

“No,” he said, gentler now. “No. I know you love me. I know.” His voice cracked. “But I come from a time where no one talks about this kind of stuff. Where men didn’t have to wonder how many people their girl used to patch up in back alleys and kiss between fights.”

“Well guess what, Bucky,” you said, voice trembling. “I didn’t get the luxury of going to swing bars and holding hands on Coney Island. I got blood and war and figuring out how to survive without falling apart. I didn’t know I was going to make it past 25. And then you came along. You—you, James—you made me realise some things last. And now you're throwing it in my face because what? You didn’t like the guest list to my past?”

He looked like you’d shot him.

But there wasn’t time to let the silence fester again—your comms buzzed with an urgent ping from Sam.

The mission. 

You turned toward the door.

“Let’s just get through today,” you said, voice brittle. “We’ll figure the rest out after.”

You walked out first.

And this time, Bucky followed—not because he knew what to say, but because even after everything, he couldn’t stand not being by your side.

—

The op was supposed to be easy.

But nothing was easy when you were angry.

You and Bucky moved like soldiers, but not like partners—not like you usually did. 

You were out of sync, one heartbeat off, one glance too short. One command left unsaid because your pride wouldn’t let either of you speak first.

That got you ambushed.

Suddenly, you were ducking behind crumbling concrete, the walls of the building already groaning as a blast from beneath shook the foundations.

Gunfire rained down the stairwell.

Bucky shielded you without thinking, metal arm flashing as he tore through two men, fast and efficient—but not fast enough.

A stray bullet lodged  itself in you.

You screamed.

“Goddammit!” you hissed, hand pressing to your shoulder as blood spread fast. “Fucking—shit!”

Bucky was already beside you, crouched low, blue eyes wide and terrified. “You’re hit.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

You leaned against the wall, blood soaking through your suit too fast, pooling in your glove as you applied pressure. Your vision blurred, but you forced yourself to stay upright. 

“We have to move,” you growled, pushing off the wall. “Extraction’s too far, comms are jammed.”

“Then tell me where to take you,” Bucky said, already moving to sling your arm over his shoulder. “You’re losing blood.”

You paused, teeth clenched so hard your jaw hurt. You did know someone in the vicinity. “You’re gonna hate this.”

“Tell me anyway.”

You guided him three blocks through the back alleys of the city, stumbling past broken windows, flickering lights, and blood left behind like breadcrumbs. You turned down a shadowed stairwell, and at the end of the corridor was a steel door. 

You raised your good hand and knocked: four slow, two fast.

A secret code. 

Bucky stiffened beside you. “You have a safehouse down here?”

“Not mine…” you mumbled under your breath. 

The door swung open, and there he was.

Frank Castle.

Bucky had heard about him— The Punisher.

He looked at you. Then at Bucky.

Then at your shoulder. “You’re bleeding.”

“I know,” you muttered through gritted teeth. “Let me in.”

Frank stepped aside immediately, grabbing you by the waist like it was second nature. Bucky’s hand was still on you. Neither man let go.

“Nice to see you, too,” Frank said with a worried frown.

Bucky followed, staring at Frank like he was a ghost come to life—except this ghost had callouses, bruises, and knew your name too well.

“You’ve got him on speed dial?” Bucky bit out.

You sank down on the battered couch as Frank pulled out a med kit and started cutting through your gear. “I said you’d hate it.”

Frank smirked without looking up. “Still dramatic, huh?”

“She’s bleeding,” Bucky growled, stepping in. “Maybe shut the fuck up and do something useful.”

“Relax, soldier.” Frank didn’t blink. “I’ve patched her up worse.”

Bucky's jaw twitched. "Worse?"

You groaned. “Please. Not now.”

But it was already too late— you could smell the testosterone and unfinished history. 

Frank’s hands were on you. Bucky’s heart was in his throat. He saw the way Frank looked at you— like he knew what your skin felt like already. 

“You two…” Bucky started, then stopped. His voice was dangerously low. “You fucked, didn’t you?”

Frank looked up. “We didn’t bake cookies.”

Bucky surged forward. “I swear to God—”

“Both of you!” you barked. “Enough!”

Frank didn’t flinch. He just scoffed under his breath and turned back to your shoulder, grabbing a syringe from the med kit and tearing open a pack of gauze with his teeth. 

“Didn’t realize you were dating the Winter Soldier,” Frank muttered, injecting the numbing agent into the skin around your wound. “Last time I saw you, you were with that blonde Widow chick. Got a thing for Russians now, pretty girl?”

Your eyes fluttered shut for a second. Pain, exhaustion, and frustration welled up inside. “Shut the fuck up, Frank.”

“I’m not Russian,” Bucky snapped before he could stop himself.

Frank glanced over his shoulder. “That’s not what I heard.”

Bucky stepped closer, chest heaving. “You want to test what I’ve got in common with the Red Room, Castle?”

“Easy,” Frank shook his head, “just sayin’. She always did have a type.”

That almost did it.

Bucky’s fists curled at his sides. His breath came faster. He saw red— and for a split second, he was ten seconds away from tearing Frank’s smug face off. 

But then… he heard your soft whimper. It was a hiss of pain. Your head tipped  back against the couch, eyes fluttering as the blood loss started to catch up. 

And suddenly, Bucky remembered why he was here. What really mattered.

You.

He was at your side in an instant, kneeling by the couch as Frank packed the wound and started stitching. You were grunting, your fingers twitching for something to hold.

Bucky took your hand.

You gripped him like he was the only thing tethering you to this world.

Frank worked without saying much after that. The tension between him and Bucky didn’t fade—it settled like a landmine they both agreed not to step on. For now.

“Got anything for the pain?” Bucky asked, looking toward the dingy kitchen.

Frank jerked his chin. “Cabinet over the fridge. Bottles labeled in red are painkillers. Other colors are mine.”

Bucky found what he needed. Got the pills into you with a cracked water bottle. He sat by your side while you slowly went limp under the weight of the drugs.

You passed out with your head in his hands. He brushed the hair from your face with a touch so gentle it made Frank’s heart ache.

—

An hour later, Bucky stood at the tiny sink in Frank’s dimly lit bathroom, water running red as he scrubbed blood from his hands. 

The cracked mirror above the sink showed him a version of himself he didn’t like: wild eyes, tired lines on his forehead, and blood smeared up to his wrists.

This was your blood.

He gritted his teeth, pressing his palms harder under the water like he could scrub away his sins, like he could rewind time just by cleaning fast enough.

You got shot because we weren’t focused. He thought to himself. Because I couldn’t shut my mouth. Because I couldn’t let go of the past. Because I just had to pick a fight.

He squeezed his eyes shut.

You had every right to have a past. You told him, over and over, that you chose him.

But it hadn’t been enough in the moment. 

And now…

Now you were unconscious on Frank Castle’s couch with stitches in your shoulder, and he was standing in a stranger’s bathroom washing away the evidence of his own failure.

He slammed the faucet off and leaned heavily on the sink, breathing hard. For a moment, he just stared at himself. The blood was gone, but the shame still clung to him like a second skin.

“Get a grip,” he said to his reflection.

He grabbed a towel and dried his hands.

Behind him, the door creaked open. He didn’t have to turn around to know it was Frank.

“You done crying in there, Barnes?”

Bucky met his own bloodshot eyes in the mirror and took a deep breath. When he stepped back out, Frank was already cracking open two beers— one slid across the counter toward him like a peace offering.

“Don’t drink on missions,” Bucky said, even though alcohol didn’t give him anything to work with. 

“We’re not on a mission anymore.” Frank shrugged.  “You’re in my house. She’s breathing. “Take the fuckin’ beer.”

Bucky hesitated, but still sat down.

He cracked it open and drank in silence.

Frank leaned back, arms crossed, smiling like he’d already written this whole scene in his head.

“So,” Frank said. “How’s that working out for you?”

Bucky shot him a sideways glare. “You mean her?”

Frank raised an eyebrow. “No, I meant your bloodstained fashion choices. Yeah, I mean her.”

Bucky drank again. “Fine.”

“That right?” Frank said, not buying it for a second. “Cuz she showed up bleeding out on my doorstep and you looked two seconds from throwing me through a wall.”

Bucky’s jaw tensed. “You didn’t exactly help.”

Frank’s grin widened. “What, calling you soldier? That’s what you are, ain’t it?”

Bucky didn’t answer. 

Both of them drank.

The air between them stayed hot, but not explosive. 

Frank looked toward the back room, where you were still out cold. The lines of his mouth softened slightly, the smirk dying in the corner of his mouth.

“She still talk in her sleep?”

Bucky glanced at him. “Sometimes.”

“Used to scare the shit out of me. She’d mumble names. Codes. Orders. She’d say something about Wilson or about how Riley’s in danger. Good ol’ air force PTSD,” Frank nodded, “One time she said my name and thrashed so hard I thought she was gonna kill me in her sleep.”

Bucky didn’t respond.

“She doesn’t talk.. about you,” Bucky said finally. His voice was low, eyes locked on the floor. “I didn’t even know you two…”

Frank shook his head. “Didn’t bake cookies,” he echoed.

“Yeah. Got it.”

They let another beat of silence fester.

“You loved her?” Bucky asked, even though he didn’t really want to know the answer.

“I did,” Frank took a sip, but didn’t look at him. “Still do. Not the same way, though.”

Bucky’s hand tightened around the bottle. “What the hell does that mean?”

Frank finally looked at him. No sarcasm now, just tired honesty.

“I don’t know if she told you about my… past. But after all that happened to me, I didn’t think I was capable of it again. I was half dead. Barely human. And then she showed up and saw through all the bullshit. And she stayed.”

Bucky was listening. Processing.

“She taught me how to feel again. Real shit. Not just rage. Not just grief.” Frank rubbed the back of his neck, like the memory itched. “She used to tell me I wasn’t broken, just dented. I believed her.”

“So what happened?”

Frank leaned back, eyes on the cracked ceiling.

“She fed my flame and I fed her violence. I knew if she kept me around, she’d forget what peace felt like. So I ended it.”

That made Bucky’s stomach twist. He hated how much of that felt familiar. 

Frank glanced toward the couch where you were still curled in sleep, bandages soaked but holding. “She deserves better than that.”

“She deserves someone who doesn’t get jealous of her past,” Bucky muttered.

“You and me both,” Frank chuckled under his breath. “I used to hate that I shared an ex with Red,” Frank admitted. Bucky could just assume he was talking about Daredevil. “But it’s a small world. Small circle. Vigilantes fuck around. You think we go home to nice houses and clean sheets?”

Bucky said nothing. Because now, you did. 

“How long you two been together?” Frank asked, casual.

Bucky didn’t answer right away. Just watched the light shift across the floor as the old ceiling fan spun overhead. Then, finally, “Three years.”

Frank’s eyebrows lifted. “Three?”

He let out a low whistle and took a sip. “Well, I’ll be damned. That’s like… eight decades in vigilante time.”

Bucky didn’t smile, but nodded once.

“Congratulations,” Frank tilted his beer toward him in a mock toast. “Longest relationship I ever seen her in. Not that I was taking notes or anything, but…” He grinned. “I knew all the flings. None of ‘em made it past a year. Most of them burned out around month ten.”

Bucky shifted, fist clenched, but not as harsh as before. “I’ve met a few of them. Or… worked with ‘em.”

Frank chuckled. “Bet that’s fun.”

“Not really.”

Frank scoffed. “Y’know,” he said, “you don’t gotta worry about me. Or any of the rest of us.”

Bucky looked at him sideways. “Yeah?”

Frank nodded toward the living room, where you were sleeping under a threadbare blanket, one leg hanging off the side of the couch.

“She wouldn’t be here if she didn’t love you. Still a bit of a dick when she’s mad, but who isn’t? She chose you. That woman’s got trust issues deeper than the fuckin’ ocean, but she lets you near her when she’s bleeding?” He shook his head. “That’s something, man.”

Bucky’s hand curled loosely around the bottle. “Doesn’t stop the way it feels sometimes. Like I’m… following ghosts.”

Frank leaned against the counter, arms folded, studying him. “You’re not a ghost to her.”

“Feels like I am.”

“Then stop acting like one.”

That hit a little deeper than Bucky expected. He looked away.

“You’re not me,” Frank said finally. “And that’s a good thing.”

Bucky blinked. Looked up.

Frank gestured between them. “You know what I gave her? Rage. Like I said, we fed each other’s worst instincts.” He took a breath. “You give her something I couldn’t: Peace.”

Bucky scoffed, a bitter little noise. “Peace? You should see the way we’ve been acting lately?”

Frank shrugged. “Fights happen. Especially with her.” He smirked. “But she came here because she trusted you to carry her when she couldn’t stand. That’s what counts.”

Bucky  took a sip of the beer, but didn’t really taste it. He still felt the heat of the moment in his chest.

Frank tilted his bottle toward him again. “You love her?”

“More than anything.”

“Then hold on to that.” Frank’s voice was sincere. “Cause’ if two broken people can get their shit together and still choose each other every damn day, that’s more than most people get.”

They sat in silence for a while, before eventually, Frank raised his bottle one more time. “To the girl who survived all of us.”

Bucky hesitated—then tapped his bottle gently against Frank’s.

“To the girl who made us feel human again,” he said.

They drank.

In the back of the room, you shifted in your sleep, muttered something under your breath, then went still again.

Frank leaned back. “Think she’s gonna be pissed when she finds out we bonded?”

Bucky found himself a smile— just a little. “Probably.”

—

The pain was dull when you woke up—  more like a memory than a wound, pulsing behind your bones in sync with your heartbeat. Your shoulder throbbed under tight bandages.

You cracked your eyes open, vision swimming in the dim light. The ceiling was warped and water-stained, familiar in the worst way, lit only by the flicker of a busted lamp somewhere in the room. The air smelled like old cigarette smoke, sweat, and gun oil.

You remembered where you were. Frank Castle’s safehouse.

You felt a body pressing against your side. 

Bucky.

He was crouched beside the couch, looking like he’d been glued to your side for hours— maybe longer. His hair was a mess, flattened in places from where he’d run his hands through it on repeat. 

“Hey,” he greeted, rough around the edges but laced with so much affection it you felt it more than you felt the wound. He leaned in and kissed your forehead, “You okay?”

Your lips twitched into a ghost of a smile. You tilted your head just enough to brush your mouth against his in return, your voice barely above a whisper. “Mmhmm.”

Behind you, someone cleared their throat.

You glanced past Bucky, and there was Frank— arms crossed, watching the two of you with a look that wasn’t quite judgment and wasn’t quite amusement either. 

It looked like... approval.

Bucky glanced over his shoulder, but shifted closer to you anyways. His hand brushed your hair back with the softest care, like you were the only thing in the world that mattered.

“We gotta go, yeah, doll?” he said. “Whenever you’re ready.”

You winced as you shifted upright, his hand already sliding under your good arm. You leaned into him without hesitation. 

“Yeah,” you exhaled, trying to shake the fog from your head. “Just... give me a sec.”

You rested your forehead against his shoulder for a moment, letting the world settle, then pushed yourself upright again. 

“Thanks, Frank,” you managed, voice rough but sincere. “For the whole... keeping me alive thing.”

His mouth curved upward at the corner. “Anytime, pretty girl.”

The words had barely left his mouth before Bucky’s voice cut through the room— “Don’t call her that.”

But.. there was a hint of playfulness in his voice.

Frank’s brow ticked up, amised. “Relax, soldier. It’s a nickname, not a ring.”

“She’s not yours to nickname.”

You let out a low groan, rubbing your hand over your face. “Jesus Christ. I almost died and you two are busy measuring dicks?”

Frank huffed a small laugh. “Still got that attitude, I see.”

Bucky glanced down at you, brushing your knuckles lightly with his thumb. “Good. Means you’re still alive.”

Frank pushed off the doorway, “She’ll outlive both of us at this rate.”

Bucky’s lips twitched, his hand never leaving yours. “That’s the plan.”

You leaned against him, blinking up at the two men, brow furrowing as the realisation finally hit. 

These weren’t snide remarks. This was… banter. 

They weren’t trying to kill each other.

“What the hell…” you mumbled. “You two friends now?”

Bucky looked down at you, shrugging. “Had a long night.”

Frank smirked from across the room, raising an eyebrow. “And a few beers.”

You stared between them, utterly baffled. “The fuck did I miss?”

—

The drive back was a quiet haze of streetlights. You slumped in the passenger seat, curled toward the window, your shoulder still aching beneath layers of gauze. 

When he pulled up to your shared home, Bucky came around to your side before you could even try to open the door. He lifted you again like you weighed nothing and carried you into the apartment without saying a word.

He laid you gently on the couch, brushing the hair from your face as you settled back into the cushions. His fingers lingered on your cheek, “I’ll get your painkillers,” he said.

You let your eyes follow him as he crossed to the kitchen, retrieved a glass of water, and returned with a small pill in his palm.

“Small dose,” he warned, crouching beside you again. “We’re spacing them out.”

You took it, swallowed, then leaned your head back and sighed. You tilted your head toward him.

“So… you and Frank buddies now?”

Bucky snorted softly, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

“But you talked.”

“Yeah,” He confirmed. “We talked.”

You raised a brow, mildly impressed. “And you didn’t smash each other’s face in?”

Bucky chuckled. “Came close.”

You let a beat of silence pass between you. 

Then you finally said, “I’m sorry.”

His eyes flicked back to you. 

“I should’ve seen how uncomfortable you were,” you admitted. “I… I just didn't think the exes would be a sore spot.”

“I’m sorry, too.” He reached up, brushing his thumb over your knuckles. “I let all that shit build up. That’s not on you.”

“Still… I could’ve talked to you about all of it before I got back into the field.” You swallowed. “I… I just didn’t want you to see me differently.”

“I do see you differently,” he said quietly.

Your stomach twisted.

“But not in a bad way,” he added quickly. “Your past… is just that. Frank helped me see that.”

You blinked fast, trying not to cry. “But it keeps finding me.”

“I know,” he said. 

You gave him a sad smile and a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “I’m not going anywhere, Bucky. You’re my now. You’re my future. You're it.”

His breath caught, and he looked at you like you’d just pulled him out of the deepest part of the ocean.

He leaned in and kissed you, slow and soft and sweet. It was the kind of kiss that tasted like forgiveness, because he was still learning what it meant to be loved out loud by someone so unfiltered, by someone with nothing to hide.

You stayed pressed againsthim for a long time, your hand in his hair, his forehead against yours.

Eventually, he pulled back and smiled faintly. 

He stood, walking toward the kitchen. “I’m making you hot chocolate.”

You blinked after him. “Are you serious?”

“You want marshmallows?”

“Obviously.”

He got up, and from the kitchen, you could hear Bucky moving around — the clink of the saucepan on the stove, the rustle of a cocoa tin being opened, the faint hiss of milk heating as he stirred. 

You sank deeper into the couch, letting the ache in your shoulder fade into the background.

Your eyes drifted half-shut, but then you heard it.

A ding from beside you on the couch.

You blinked, turning your head slightly, and there it was — Bucky’s phone lighting up on the cushion, his name glowing on the lock screen along with the preview of a new text.

Frank Castle.

Of course it was Frank.

Curiosity got the better of you, and your eyes skimmed the message: "If you wanna give your pretty girl a break and need someone who doesn’t pull his punches on a mission, give me a call, Barnes. And I’ll be there."

You smiled — part fond, part exasperated — and the warmth in your chest didn’t dim.

Before you could say anything, Bucky’s voice floated over from the kitchen, teasing, “You looking at my phone, doll?”

You glanced toward him, two mugs cradled in his hands as he walked towards you.

“Didn’t know you and Frank exchanged numbers,” You lifted your brows. “He says he’s offering his services.”

Bucky lowered himself onto the couch beside you, placing the mug carefully into your hand.

Bucky let out a quiet snort, shaking his head as he picked up the phone and read it for himself. His thumb hovered over the reply button, but he didn’t type anything right away.

“At least,” he muttered under his breath, “he’s now calling you my pretty girl.”

You leaned your head toward him, letting it rest against his shoulder.

“Damn right I am,” you mumbled fondly.

Damn right you are. 

–end.

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@goldengubs @maryevm @helen-2003 @maryssong23

is that me on ur lockscree-

a/n: this turned out shitty i feel like, send requests i have a writers block rn

bucky barnes x reader

summary: you need bucky’s phone to see if your photos sent because he didn’t respond and you find a picture of you on his lock screen

warnings: flufffffffffffff, cuteness :)

it’s been around 4 hours or longer, you didn’t know anymore anyways.

you just sent bucky some pictures of things he might want later while you were shopping and asked him if he needed anything. he hasn’t responded.

you are now home in the comfort of your bed but not a sight of your man. you haven’t checked to see if he was in the office of the compound not wanting to disturb him if he might’ve been in a meeting.

you let out a long sigh and got out of the messy warmth and went to the kitchen wanting to make a snack so you got the milk out of the fridge and went to the large pantry looking for your cinnamon corn flakes as you were heading back once you’ve grabbed them you found bucky‘ phone on the counter.

confuzzled, you picked it up and found a picture of you, in bed, sleeping, hugging your stuffed animal, with your furrowed eyebrows.

and you giggled and snickered to yourself silently, it was cute how he put you as his lock screen, and you couldn’t help but smile even wider when you found another picture of you as his home screen, you definitely were going to tease him about it later.

as you unlocked it, easy access, you thought grinning to yourself and being lucky bucky never had a password and you went straight towards text messages.

and you found your pictures and text message in the new notifications. huh, how come he hasn’t opened it?

and you heard a voice behind you. “doll?” and you turned around quickly, startled.

”hi butterfly” you said smiling widely, remembering how you got to the nickname, bucky’s phone still in your hand. looking at bucky’ s tall tired frame smiling widely, back at you.

”when’d you come back, doll?”

“two, three hours ago, where were you?”

”oh, i didn’t know, sorry peach, i was in a meeting and when you still didn’t arrive i hit the gym with steve”

”it’s alright, just wonderin”

”missed me doll?” bucky said cheekily with a smirk on his fac as he slowly walk toward me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

”nope, ya miss me?” you stated back with your arms rested gently on his chest, looking up at him with a grin.

”that hurts, bullet in the heart, doll” bucky said as he acted out as if a bullet did hit him on the chest.

you laughed softly and said “i’m kidding i’m kidding i did”

”thought so!”

”that’s not fair” you said with a fake pouty face looking up at him with dog eyes

”alright, alright i missed you too”

”I knew it!“ you yelled squealing and rubbing it in his face with a small happy dance and bucky just watched in awe.

”you know what else i discovered today, buttercup?”

”hmmmmmm, i don’t know doll what” he feigned questioning

”i found something on your phone“ you said handing it to him as it was in your hand the entire time

”and exactly what was that?” bucky said knowing he had nothin to hide

”your wallpaper! its me!” you said teasingly an got tickled by large hands as you turned around to run from him knowing he was gonna chase you

”b-buckyyyyyyy” you tried to say, barely a known word had come out as you tried to stop his hands while squirming and laughing

”alright” he said, raising hIs hands in innocence, but your teasing wasn’t gonna stop even after.

”you have your wallpaper as meeeee” you screamed, running away from bucky and into your shared room, with him chasing after.

that followed with more tickles and more play fighting and eventually after exhaustion you both layed in bed with cuddles afterwards, both disregarding the unfinished cereal and sweaty gym bag.

“i don’t know why youre surprised with you being my wallpaper doll but i have no regrets or shame i’m doing so”

”ok, but it’s still cute of you”

Updated: 03/31/2021

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This blog is 18+ ONLY!!! Because I’m an old lady, I love to use bad words, and there’s just a ton of porn here. There will be an occasional dub-con or very dark fic. I do like writing fight scenes so there are going to be mentions of pretty graphic violence. I do my best to tag accordingly, and put content warnings on each of my fics but if you notice I’ve missed a warning anywhere, please DM me and I’ll fix it ASAP!!

I write reader insert fics for whatever I feel like, but it’s mostly Chris Evans, Henry Cavill, and Sebastian Stan characters. I will also probably have more wlw fics as well, so look forward to those! I’m up for anything! I do my best to keep descriptions of the reader as vague as possible to keep things inclusive, but will sometimes add descriptors of easily changed aesthetic things (i.e. tattoos, piercings, etc.). Again, if you have trouble fully immersing yourself in one of my fics due to a reader description, please let me know! I welcome constructive criticism.

Keep reading

do you think of me? (b.b.)

summary: bucky is jealous of your new boyfriend

fic inspired by She Thinks of Me- Landon Tewers

Warnings: smut, dom!bucky, sub!reader, female!reader. jealous!bucky, hate fucking(ish), semi public sex, slight dub!con, bucky has a filthy mouth, pet names (little girl), fwb, they both have feelings for each other but don’t want to admit it, MINORS DNI 18+

side note: this is….yeah. just yeah. have fun ;)

You were nervous. Nervous for multiple reasons. Tonight was the night the team would be meeting you boyfriend, Matt. You knew that with being the youngest member of the team, they were overprotective of you. You didn’t mind, but sometimes they were overbearing. Particularly Tony and Steve. There was going to be a million questions and a million snarky comments.

Your heels clicked against the pavement as you walked towards the night club. Tony had rented it out for the night because it was Steve's birthday, but you knew this was the last thing Steve wanted. He wasn't much of a party guy but Tony insisted. 'It's not everyday that someone turns 100' he said.

Matt wrapped his hand tightly around yours as the two of you grew closer to the door, and you gave him a small smile. He knew you were nervous, he just didn't know why. Truth is, you were nervous to see Bucky. He had cut you off a month ago after you confessed your feelings for him. He then took a undercover op, so you hadn't seen him since that night. But he returned yesterday just in time for Steve's party, of course.

Your relationship with Bucky was complicated to say the least. At first it started off with harmless flirting, but you told him you weren't ready for a real relationship yet. Then, he suggested that you two become friends with benefits, and it was good for a while. 6 months of sex without attachments was amazing, especially with Bucky. He tapped right into your kinks after the first night, and it was mind blowing.

But then, you developed feelings for him. Feelings that you promised you wouldn't get. And when you finally grew the courage to tell him, he shot you down. Saying that he wasn't looking for anything more than a quick fuck. It broke your heart, but you got over it. At least you thought you had.

The doors to the club swung open and the heart pounding music fell out into the street. The bouncers nodded at you as you passed through the threshold, and you scoffed to yourself. The party didn't need bouncers, most of everyone here is wanted in at least 10 different countries.

"Y/N!" Wanda yelled, waving you over. She was sitting with Vision at a large round table. You smiled and walked over to her, dragging Matt behind you. "Hey! I'm Wanda!" She beamed, sticking a hand out to him. He shook it and smiled shyly. "This is Vision."

"Yeah, I know!" Matt laughed. "The stone-it's cool!" He pointed at Visions forehead.

"Where is everyone?" You asked, looking around. The club was packed.

Tony really went all out tonight. Strobe lights illuminated faces in the crowd, the music was so loud you thought your heart would burst out of your chest, and of course, Tony had strippers and dancers post up on every stage. Everyone was being served fancy glasses of champagne for starters, then the bar was a free for all. Large balloons floated above your head, the number 100 decorated in red, white, and blue, obviously.

"Up at the bar. Tony bet Barnes and Steve against each other on who could get the drunkest the fastest."

You swallowed hard at the mention of Bucky's name. He was already here, but you already knew that. You felt his eyes on you as soon as you walked through the door. Only Wanda knew about you and Bucky's relationship, she was the only one you trusted enough to tell. Your gaze drifted towards the bar, immediately finding Bucky's eyes. His emotions were practically radiating. Your snapped your attention back to Wanda and she looked like she wanted to say something.

You snatched the champagne flute out of her hand and chugged the rest of it. The bubbly liquid slid down your throat, starting a warm fire in your belly. "Well, lets go say hi." Grabbing Matt again, you pushed your way through the crowd. You free hand landed on Tony's shoulder and he turned around.

"Y/N!" He cheered. "Who's this? I thought we had a rule, no bringing home strangers."

"Tony," You groaned, rolling your eyes. "This is Matt. My boyfriend."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Steve shouted. "Boyfriend? You're like 16, you can't have a boyfriend!"

"I'm 23, Steve." You snorted.

"Cap, get back to drinking. Barnes already has you beat." Tony snapped. "But yeah. You're like 16!"

"Oookkaayy." You huffed.

"Who's the twig?" Another voice asked. It sent shivers down your spine. "His arms are the size of my fingers."

"Bucky." You smiled, your words dripping with venom. "This is Matt. He's a tech analyst, not everyone can break skulls with a punch."

"So, what you're sayin' is that when you two get mugged, you're gonna have to fight 'em. Looks like wind could knock him over." He smirked. Your eyes bore into his and he stared back, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. You felt Matt shift uncomfortably beside you.

"Isn't past your bed time, James?" You snarled, your fixated gaze still not leaving Bucky's.

"Isn't it past yours, Y/N?" His domineering smirk grew. He didn't show it, but Bucky was furious. His normal icy blue eyes were overtaken by his blown up pupils. That should be his hand around your waist. And that skimpy little dress you had on was running his mind ragged.

Finally, you peeled your sight away from Bucky's and took Matt's hand, stomping off towards the dance floor. You could feel Bucky's eyes following you as you left. You spun around, cupping Matt's cheeks and muttered something he didn't quiet hear, and pressed a hard kiss onto his lips. It was wet and sloppy, teeth gnashing into each other.

You danced with Matt until you legs felt like jelly. His hands roamed your hips, squeezing and grabbing. Sometimes your back would be pressed against his back and you would grind against him. You were practically dry humping him in the middle of the dance floor. Sweat beaded on your forehead, threatening to ruin your makeup you had spent hours perfecting.

"I'm gonna get something to drink!" Matt yelled in your ear. You nodded, sitting down at one of the empty tables.

You pulled your phone out, your breath getting caught in your throat as you saw the multiple text messages from Bucky.

Do you think of me when he's fucking you?

I bet he thanks me when he's fucking you.

I own you bitch, yeah you know it's true.

Why you hadn't blocked his number yet was beyond you, and now you were regretting it. Your head snapped up from your phone, trying to find Matt through the sea of people. You couldn't find him, so you got up and pushed your way up to the bar.

Your stomach sunk when you saw Bucky and Matt standing by each other. Matt looked considerably small compared to Bucky. He was at least 5 inches shorter than him, and Bucky was right. His arms were twigs. And you could basically see Bucky's muscles ripple underneath his tight shirt.

"I thought you were gonna get us drinks?" You asked, placing a hand on Matt's shoulder.

"You never told you and him were friends with benefits." Matt said flatly. Your stomach sunk further, hand dropping to your side.

"I-"

"What the fuck, Y/N! You couldn't have bothered to tell me that? This whole party was a fuckin' trap!"

"Matt-"

"No. This is done, we're done. You need to get some serious help for that fucked up head of yours." He shook his head before turning away from you, taking off towards the exit.

You were stunned, frozen in place. What the fuck just happened? It was Bucky's laughter that broke you out of the trance. Fuming, you snatched him by the bicep and drug him into one of the private rooms. Bucky could have easily made you let go of him, but he went with it. Slamming the door behind you, you locked it.

"If you wanted to fuck, we could have just went back to the compound. We don't have to do it here." He smiled darkly.

"What gives you the god damn right-" You yelled, your voice shaking. No, your entire body was shaking with anger. "How could you do that?!" You could barely piece a sentence together.

"He wasn't right for you." He shrugged.

"And you were right for me?" You laughed bitterly. "I told you how I felt, Bucky. But you told me the only thing I was good for was sex. I got over it, why can’t you?"

"You are clearly not over it. Or else you wouldn't be dressed in that little black dress I love."

For the second time tonight, you breath got stuck in your throat. Bucky inched closer to you.

"And you wouldn't have worn that lipstick either. It always looked so good smudged all over your face."

He had you backed up against the wall now.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous." You whispered.

He leaned forward, his hot breath wafting over your neck. You could smell the whiskey coming off him. "Do you think of me when he's fucking you?" He repeated, his voice husky.

A pathetic whimper fell off your lips and he chuckled. "Did he even make you cum?"

Your core was on fire. You squeezed your legs together, trying to release some of the pressure, but it didn't work. Not being able to take it anymore, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards you. Crashing your lips onto his, his hands instantly grabbed the back of your neck, his metal fingers intertwining with your loose hair. Bucky's body was pressed so tightly to yours that you could already feel his erection through his pants. He was so hard that it must have been painful.

He pulled away from you, panting. You let go of his collar and your hands dipped past his waistline. Your slender fingers wrapped around the base of his cock, squeezing him gently.

"Fuck." He purred. "Haven't had my hands on you in forever, little girl."

"I hate you." You hissed. He yanked on your hair to make you look up at him.

"No you don't."

Bucky shoved his knee in between your legs, forcing your knees apart. His flesh hand lifted up your dress to your hips and disappeared between your thighs. Pushing your panties to the side, his fingers swiped across your labia, an erotic moan escaped from your mouth. Bucky smirked as he easily found your sensitive bud, rubbing it softly.

"See," He moaned, your hand moving up down on his shaft. "If you hated me you wouldn't be dripping."

A blush crept across your cheeks, realizing how wet you actually wear. You could feel your juices seeping down you thighs, making them sticky. Suddenly, his index finger prodded into your tight hole, burying it inside of your slick walls. You lurched forward, your head landing on his shoulder as you let out a high pitched moan.

"Fuck, Bucky!" You cried, his finger quickening its pace.

He only had one inside of you, but it was so thick and rough that you could feel your first orgasm approaching. You let go of his cock, bringing your hand out to wrap your arms around his neck, clinging onto him for dear life.

His thumb started to lazily swirl around your clit. You stood on your tiptoes, your mouth attacking his neck. As you sucked and nibbled on it, you knew you were going to leave a mark.

Then Bucky's finger nudged against that special spot deep inside you, making you gasp. He did it again, loving the little noises you were making. You were on the cusp of cumming all over his hand when he suddenly pulled out of you.

You whined against his neck, the noise echoing around the room. Bucky hummed, sticking his finger in his mouth. His tongue swirled around his mouth, licking it clean.

"You better be quiet, doll." He laughed. "Or someone might hear us." Both of Bucky's hands came around to your backside, and he hooked this thumbs around the waistline of your panties, pulling them off of you. You watched through hazy eyes as he brought them to his face, inhaling your scent. "Always so sweet." Bucky stuck them in his back pocket, his hands returning to your ass. "Jump." He growled in your ear.

Your legs wrapped around his waste, hissing as you pulsating heat rubbed against Buckys hard cock. His lips connected with yours as he kissed you roughly, almost knocking the breath out of you. You tongue slotted past his lips, tasting yourself in his mouth. He walked backwards, landing on the small couch that was in the room.

Bucky sat down, bring you down on top of him. You pulled away, resting your forehead on his as your hands fumbled with his belt and zipper. You finally got them undone and you pulled his pants and boxers down. His cock sprang free, smacking him in the stomach.

You slowly dragged yourself along his painfully red shaft, moaning together at the feeling. Hands tangled in his hair as you lifted you hips up, aligning yourself with him. You hissed through your teeth as you sunk down on him, his dick splitting you in half.

"Shit." Bucky moaned, the grip on your hips tightening. There would definitely be bruises there tomorrow. His hips bucked up into you as you settled back down in his lap, him now full sheathed inside you. "Think you got tighter without my cock splitting you open everyday." He panted.

The pain slowly ebbed into pleasure and you rocked forward, placing your hands on his shoulders. You shoved yourself back down on him, strangling a cry. Your worked yourself on him slowly, incoherent moans slipping from your trembling lips. Your juices seeped out of you, pooling around his balls. The sounds of moaning and skin slapping together filled the otherwise quiet room.

"Are you gonna make yourself cum on my cock, little girl?” Bucky grunted, trying not to loose his shit at your agonizing slow pace. You nodded, muttering a 'yes'. "That's my good girl, always works my cock so good." Bucky tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "Look at me when you cum." He ordered. The tightening in your lower abdomen suddenly sprang free at his words, your walls spasming around him.

"Oh, my god! Oh, my goddd!" You screamed, your ears ringing, and your vision was dotted with little black spots. Buckys hand snapped up to your mouth, and you sobbed into it. You felt tears slipping out of the corner of your eyes as you continued to cum around him. And your eyes never left his. His eyes were no longer full of rage, but full of something else you couldn't quiet put your finger on.

As you came down from your high, Bucky flipped you over, the back of your head hitting the arm rest. Your legs wrapped around his waist again and his hips snapped up to meet yours.

"This pussy," Bucky groaned, pushing faster into you. "Is mine."

"Yours!" You echoed. "Your pussy, yours!" You sobbed.

He laughed and bent down, pressing a wet kiss on your forehead. "Such a good girl." He purred.

Bucky didn't give you much time to recovery from your first orgasm as your second one rapidly built up. He no longer bothered keep you quiet, he wanted people to hear. He wanted everyone to know who it was that was making you feel this good.

"Bucky! Oh fuck, Bucky!" You chanted. "You feel so good, your cock feels so good!" Any self control you had was gone. You wanted him to feed your most primal urges in the nastiest of ways.

"Mhmm, gonna make me cum." Bucky moaned, his thrusts becoming sloppy and less precise. "Your little pussy is so tight."

"I want it." You whined. "Please, baby."

Bucky grunted, your name falling over his lips as his seed plastered the inside of your walls. The feeling of him cumming inside you tipped you over the edge, clenching down on his oversensitive cock.

"Fuck!" He cried, burying his head into the crook of your neck. Your entire body shook underneath him, that final orgasm completely ruining you.

He pulled out of you after your breathing slowed. You blinked up at him, eyes bleary. He chuckled and kissed the top of your head.

"I missed you." He muttered as he pulled his pants back up.

You sat up readjusting to readjust your dress, pulling it back down so it covered your now bruised ass. Standing up, you walked to the little mirror that was hung on the wall, attempting to fix your makeup.

"Y/N?"

"Come to my place tonight." You whispered, not looking at him. "Let me show you how much I missed you." You opened the door to leave, but you hesitated. Turning your head back towards him, you winked.

"Oh, and keep the panties."

pls lmk if you want to be added to my tag list!

fresh start (b.b.)

Summary: bucky tries to surprise you by bringing home supplies to cut his hair, but he's a terrible lair, and terrible at hiding things.

Warnings: so much fluff, bucky being in love, angst if you squint, TFATWS!bucky, female!reader, soft!bucky, mentions of death, implied smut

Side note: asdfghjk fluffy bucky makes me so soft, i love it so much❤️feel free to reblog, comment, and like this! it makes me happy when you guys do :) enjoy!

ps, i know i keep changing my style of headers, i’m just trying to see which one i’m comfortable with :)

It was a cold November evening, the sun setting low in the sky casting yellow and orange rays through the curtains, making it look like the living room was on fire. You sat curled up on the couch, thumbing through the book you had picked up while you ran out for coffee earlier. Slow forties music played softly through the stereo, and you hummed quietly to the tune.

Before you met Bucky you would have laughed at the thought of enjoying any music past the 60's. But the more Bucky played it, the more you grew to like it. You would have laughed at yourself a year ago thinking you would end up with James Buchanan Barnes. But here you were, giving lazy good morning kisses and heated nights in bed.

You heard the apartment door open and the sound of keys being set down on the counter. "Hey doll." Bucky muttered behind you, planting a soft kiss on the top of your head. "Brought dinner." He handed you a take out container of Chinese food.

You set you book down on the end table and stretched your arms out. "How was your date with Yori?" You yawned, the corner of your lips twitching into a smirk.

"Date." He scoffed, echoing your words. "It's not easy finding someone who's the same age as you are, ya know, shared life experience and all."

"But he doesn't know you're 106?"

"He's 90. It's close enough." He chuckled, sitting down next to you, his arm snaking around your shoulders.

You smiled to yourself, taking a bite of your dumplings. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence as you ate. Bucky scrolled through his phone while tapping his foot along to the music. It's nights like these that remind you of why you fell in love with him in the first place. Time just seemed to slow when you were with him, everything was in it's place and was perfect. You loved his entire body relaxed around you, the creases in his face softening. The way his long hair framed his face, curls touching the bottom of his chin.

You gulped down the last of your dumplings and got up to throw out of container. As you passed the kitchen counter, you saw a grocery bag sitting on one of the chairs. You tossed the container is the garbage and grabbed the bag, opening it up. You barely got a glimpse inside before Bucky was jumping over the back of the couch, snatching it out of your hands.

"Hey! That's private stuff!" He said, hiding the bag behind is back. You set you hands on your hips, raising your eyebrow.

"What did you buy now, Bucky?" You chided. Ever since Bucky had came back from being blipped, he's been trying new things. Buying random items that just seem to interest him. His spending spree had been the butt of a joke ever since you started dating.

"Nothing, nothing." His eyes couldn't meet yours. "Nothing stupid, anyway."

"Then why can't I see?" You reached for the bag again, but he moved it out of your reach.

"It's a surprise." He gave you a lopsided grin.

"Uh huh." You rolled your eyes. "I'm going to take a bath. You can join me if you want, or you can stay out here and play with your secrets." You wiggled your fingertips at him as you walked past.

You saw Bucky's bottom lip pout out as you headed towards the bathroom. You watched as he stuck the bag on top of the fridge and you smirked. It was funny for him to think that you couldn't reach it up there.

You turned the faucet to the bath on, sticking your finger under the stream to feel the water. Once you got it to the temperature you wanted, you plugged the drain and shed off your warm clothes. Goosebumps pricked your skin as you exposed it to the cold air, making you shiver. You felt a large arm wrap around you and pull you close, his nose nuzzling into your hair.

The hot water felt like heaven as you stepped in, Bucky coming in behind you. You both sunk down in the water, your back leaning against his broad chest. His chin came to rest on your shoulder, his arms wrapping completely around you. His long hair tickled your cheek, making you squirm.

"I killed Yori's son." He blurted out suddenly. "I'm putting him down on the list."

"How do you know?" You muttered against his cheek.

"Saw a picture of him in his apartment. Had a nightmare the other night." He whispered. "He was in the same hotel as the targets I was taking out. He saw me, so I killed him. No loose ends."

You sighed, hands reaching up to stroke his hair. "What are you gonna tell him?"

"I don't know."

You sat there quietly, unsure of what to say. The noise of water sloshing in the tub filled the silence.

"Just tell him the truth." You said finally.

Bucky didn't respond. Instead, he pulled you even closer to him, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. You closed your eyes, fingertips stroking over his scared arm.

You weren't sure how long the two of you sat like that, holding each other. You were beginning to doze off when you felt Bucky shift under you. Suddenly, you were aware of how the hot water was starting to turn cold and your hands felt prune-y.

Moving his arms off your waist, you stood up and let the water drip off of you before grabbing a towel. You dried off and Bucky did the same. You quickly walked into your bedroom, your body starting to feel cold after soaking in a hot bathtub. You slipped one on his long tee shirts, and opted for a simply pair of lacy black panties.

Hearing the sound of Bucky's dog tags softly clinking against his chest, you turned in look at him. The white towel hung low on his hips, his V line peaking out. His ab's rippled as he moved, his pictorials popping out. Your tongue swiped across your bottom lip, and you looked away, not wanting to meet his intense gaze.

Bucky's eyes ran across your body, his heart leaping when seeing that you were wearing his shirt. He loved it when you did that. You were so small compared to his, making it look like you were drowning in his clothes. He dropped his towel, tossing it in the laundry basket before pulling his grey sweatpants over his still damp legs.

You sat down on the foot of the bed, watching him as he got dressed. When he crossed the room, he leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. Smiling, you grabbed his cheeks, forcing him to kiss you on the mouth. Bucky's plump lips pressed tightly onto yours and you nibbled on his bottom lip, receiving a small whimper in return. His tongue slipped into your mouth and it swirled around with yours, fighting for dominance.

Humming in satisfaction, you pulled away. His lips were red and puffy from the friction on them, probably matching your own. He looked at you through his eyelashes, his sky colored eyes piercing your heart.

"You're such a tease." He groaned, flopping on top of you, pinning you to the bed. You squealed at the sudden feeling of you being squashed.

"You know you love it." You giggled, digging your fingers into his rib cage. As much as Bucky likes to deny it, you knew he was ticklish.

"No, you love it. It's torture to me." He declared, tickling you back. You squealed again, your body squirming underneath his.

"Okay, okay!" You yelled through laughter. "I do like it, it makes you needy. That leads to some of the best sex we've ever had."

"Let me show you how needy I can be." He growled in your ear, nipping at the nape of your neck. You shuddered at the feeling, Bucky knew that was your sweet spot.

You moaned softly, but quickly snapped out of it. You reached around him, fisting his hair and tugging on it, making him look at you. He groaned at the feeling.

"You don't get to fuck me until you show me what's in the bag." You stated promptly, releasing his hair.

"What? That ain't fair!" He protested.

"No bag? No sex."

Bucky groaned again, this time in annoyance. He pushed himself off of you and stood up. Grabbing your hand, he lead you out to the kitchen. He let go of you and reached up to get the bag. You quickly snatched it from him before he could change his mind, setting it down on the table with a thunk.

You opened it, peering inside. You frowned in confusion, pulling out an electric razor, hair scissors, and some pomade. You looked up, still confused. Bucky seemed almost embarrassed, shifting his weight back and forth on his feet.

"What, hair cutting stuff? I thought you didn't want to cut your hair?"

"I guess I changed my mind." He shrugged. "It was supposed to be a surprise."

"Well, it still is." You laughed. "I never thought in a million years you would cut it." He shrugged again, looking away. "Baby," You said softly, feeling a light mood switch into something else.

"Hmm?"

"Why do you want to cut your hair?"

"I-I," He stuttered. You laced your arms around his neck, wanting him to know that you were there for him. “I just need a fresh start. I haven't had my hair short since-" He took a shuddering breath. "Since World War Two. When I woke up from being the Winter Soldier, I never had enough time. Moving from one battle to the next. I spent two years in Wakanda, but I was in cyrofreeze most of the time." He sighed, his forehead coming to rest on yours. "I just need a fresh start, to put everything that has happened behind me."

This was one of the things Bucky loved about you. He could just talk, ramble on for hours and you would sit and listen, soaking up every word he said. Never interrupting, telling him that what he was saying was stupid-unless it actually was stupid. His gaze finally landed back on yours, the love that was pouring out of your soft eyes made him feel better.

You stood on your tiptoes and placed a kiss on the tip of his nose. A smile crept the corners of your mouth. "I can cut it for you." You whispered. Bucky's eyes lit up in excitement. "Plus, it'll be better than the hack job you'd do."

"Hey!" He spanked your bum, laughing.

"Sit down." You giggled, pulling a chair up for him.

You ran and grabbed a spray bottle while Bucky got comfy. You filled it with water and returned to him, misting it over his hair. You grabbed the shears and straightened it out, pulling all of it to his back.

"How short do you want it?" You asked, running your fingers through his hair.

"Whatever you wanna do, doll." He replied.

He heard the scissors snip and watched as a good chunk of it floated to the ground.

"There's no going back now." You hummed, continuing to cut up towards his scalp.

After you cut off most of the length, you reached over his shoulder and grabbed the razor. You turned it on and it buzzed to life. You brought it up to his head, careful not to cut it too short. The razor had a guard on, so it left the patch you had started on feeling fuzzy. You continued to do that around his head, leaving the top a little bit longer than the rest.

You moved to his front, using the scissors to style it a little bit more before you finished. Grabbing the pomade, you squeezed a glob of it into your palm. You rubbed your hands together spreading it around. You ran your hands through his hair, fluffing it up a bit. You got it to lay exactly how you wanted and stepped back, admiring your work.

"Excuse me, sir? Have you seen my Bucky anywhere? I've seemed to have lost him again." You said, fake concern in your voice. Bucky rolled his eyes at you. "Go look, babe. I like it." You tapped him on the shoulder, letting him know you were done.

Bucky disappeared into the bathroom and you turned to the kitchen sink to wash the sticky pomade off your hands. You went and grabbed a broom and dust pan, sweeping up the locks of hair you cut off. When you were done, you looked up and saw Bucky standing in front of you, smiling like an idiot.

"You like it?" You smiled.

"I love it." His soft eyes sparkled with happiness.

"See? Told you, you would have ended up cutting your ear off if I didn't do it."

Bucky didn't answer. Instead, he grabbed you by the hips and lifted on you onto the table. His body moved in between your legs and you instinctively wrapped them around his hips, your arms wrapping around his thick neck.

He kissed you, hard, his palm of his hands digging into your hips. You kissed him back with such passion that it felt like he was sucking all the air of your lungs. He suddenly pulled away, his chest heaving.

"I love you, doll." Bucky murmured, lifting a hand to tuck your hair behind you ear.

"I love you too, Buck."

"Now, what were you saying about me needy?"

Oh, you were in for one hell of a night.

pls lmk if you want to be added to my tag list!!

hi loves! i need so ideas for some one-shots/imagines. it can be anyone from the mcu :) idc what it is, smut, angst, fluff, etc. plsss leave me something!!

Bucky x female!reader

Warnings: smut. literal pure filth, pretty vanilla tho. praise!kink. a pinch of angst and a lot of fluff- perfect for a bucky fic:) 18+ MINORS DNI

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You hummed quietly, cleaning up the mess you had made in the kitchen. It was around sometime around midnight and you were an avid night time snacker. The rest of the avengers has since long gone to bed, leaving you alone. You grabbed the plate that had your freshly made grilled cheese and plopped down on the couch, switching on the large TV.

You decided on watching a true crime series that Nat has been begging you to watch. It was good, so far. You would have to thank her for basically forcing you to watch it. You scarfed down the rest of the grilled cheese and set the plate beside you on the coffee table. Finally noticing how tired you were, yawning heavily you laid down on the couch, determined to watch the rest of the episode.

You woke up slowly, your ears picking up on the quietly clinking of glass. The TV had long went into stand by mode, which had you wondering what time it was. Hearing someone sniffle, you sat up, using your elbows as support.

You saw the outline of someone standing at the sink, their shoulders rising and falling like they were taking quick breathes. “Everything okay?” You called out cautiously.

“Jesus fuck.” A deep voice grumbled, surprised. It was Bucky. “That’s a good way to get punched, Y/N.”

You chuckled tiredly. “Sorry Buck. What are you doing up so late?” He didn’t answer. Instead, he took his glass full of whiskey and sat down at the breakfast nook. “Alright then.” Y/N tossed the blanket off of her and moved over to where Bucky sat. “Why are you up?” You repeated, sliding into the stool across from him.

“Just couldn’t sleep. Didn’t mean to wake you up.” He mumbled back, taking a sip of his drink.

“S’kay, I didn’t want to sleep out here anyway.” You replied, scratching the back of your neck. “Did you have another nightmare again?” Bucky halted in the middle of another sip, his eyes meeting yours. He slowly set the glass down and shook his head.

“No.”

“You don’t have to lie, Buck. It’s just us out here.” You said quietly, reaching for his metal hand. “I get them too.”

He jerked his arm away from you, placing it in his lap. You frowned at him. “You wanna know what I was dreaming about?” You asked him. He raised an eyebrow at you. “My sister.”

“You’ve never mentioned you have a sister.” Bucky commented.

“Had. I had a sister. She died protecting me during the war in my home country. I must have been 10 or 11. I can’t really remember anymore. I tried to save her. I think I held her bleeding neck for at least a day. That’s when Hydra found me, and they gave me the ability to heal their wounded soldiers. It's a reminder, for what I couldn’t save.” You looked down at your hands, which were shaking slightly. You sighed heavily and shook your head, catching Buckys eye.

“But that’s not what I remember when I dream about her. I remember the good times. When we would go down to the lake a swim all day until we were pruning.” You chuckled to yourself. “Or when my dad would be working late in the mines and she would make the best chicken sandwiches.”

“She sounded like a good sister.”

“She was. But I choose to remember the good times, Bucky. She kept me strong during Hydra’s torture, and she still keeps me strong when you guys come off the battle field all bloody and bruised up.” You once again, reached for Bucky’s hand desperately wanting to let him know that you were there for him. This time he let you touch him, a hushed sigh falling from his lips.

“I know. And I try. Sometimes I just slip up and-” He cut himself off, sniffed loudly and looked away. His voice trembled a bit when he spoke again. “I’m just not as strong as some people think.”

Not being able to take it anymore, Y/N stood up and crossed the table, wrapping Bucky in a tight hug. She sat down on his thigh and buried her face in the crook of his neck. Bucky froze for a split second before his arms snaked around her hips. The two of you sat there for a long time, holding each other.

Y/N gently rubbed the back of his neck, trying to get the tension out. Bucky moaned softly and she felt something spring to life in the pit of her stomach. That’s when she realized how close they actually were. She could smell the whiskey coming off his breathe, and his hair smelt like cedar wood. She could feel his heart pounding against his chest and his hands gripped her hips just a little tighter.

You lifted your head away from his neck, to look at him. Their eyes connected, his icy blues staring into hers. “Bucky…” You whispered, her hands coming around to touch his cheek, her thumb resting on his chiseled jaw line. “Kiss me…”

Bucky instantly connected his to yours, with such ferocity that it almost knocked your breathe out of your chest. You cupped just face, gripping his long hair in your hands and tugged at it slightly. Bucky moaned in her mouth, biting down on your bottom lip. You could feel this cock growing underneath his thin pajama pants, which just made you more eager for his touch. He moved his lips from yours to your neck, biting down and sucking, marking you.

His large hands squeezed your hips and pulled you in closer, your core rubbing up against his cock. The two of you moaned in unison at the contact. One hand left your hip, and traveled up your night shirt, cupping your breasts. You couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched you like this. And neither could Bucky. So you were both desperate and needy, itching for release and satisfaction.

“I hear you at night, ya know.” Bucky growled against your neck, send vibrations to your skull. “The way you moan my name, fucking your tight little pussy with your toy.” Y/N shivered, her face turning red. “Are you gonna moan like that for me tonight, hmmm doll?” His normal hand pinched your nipple, pulling on it a bit. You hips rutted against his, dying for his touch. “Or are you gonna be so fucked out you won’t be able to speak?”

“B-Bucky.” You whimpered. “Please. Touch me.” He chuckled darkly, his metal hand dipping past your waistline. You could feel your heartbeat down in your cunt. His cold hand against your heat made you hiss in both pleasure and shock.

“Oh doll you’re drenched.” He muttered, his fingers rubbing your lips. “Was this all for me?”

“Y-yes.” You whined. He chuckled again and inserted a finger, stopping at his first knuckle. “Please, Bucky.” He pushed forward slowly and then slowly dragged in bag out. You groaned in protest and opened your mouth to say something, but was cut off by him fully putting his fingers in. “Oh, fuck!” You gasped.

As his index finger pushed in and out of you, his thumb gently rubbed your clit, making slow and deliberate circles. You could feel your walls tightening around him, the cord inside of you pulling tighter and tighter. Before you were able to come, he pulled out and sucked his finger, humming.

“What-”

“You only get to cum on my face or on my cock.” He growled, grabbing the back of your thighs. He suddenly stood up and carried you over to the couch, setting you down gently. You rid yourself of your shirt and removed Buckys as well, tossing them somewhere behind the couch. He knelt down in front of you, latching his mouth to your tits. Your back arched and you let out a guttural groan. “How are you so perfect?” He said through a mouth full of your breasts. You smiled shyly and ran your hands through his hair.

“I’m not.” You hummed.

“I’ll show you how perfect you really are, then.” His lips traveled down your stomach, kissing and biting as he went. He stopped just below your navel and grabbed your underwear with his teeth, dragging them off of you. The cold air that hit your pussy made you shiver, sending goosebumps up your arms. Bucky tossed your legs over his bare shoulders and peered up at you. His eyes were blown with lust and need. “You know,” Bucky said as he kissed your inner thigh. “When you’re touching this pretty little pussy-” His lips ghosted over your core which coaxed a moan out of you. “I touch myself too.” He kissed your other thigh. “Pretending it’s my cock that’s making you moan and cry like that.”

Your eyes fluttered shut as he hovered over your clit, your stomach doing loops at the thought of Bucky chasing after his own orgasm while listening to you. One of his thick fingers slowly dragged down your slick and inserted it at a agonizing slow pace. You whimpered and bit down on your bottom lip.

“Beg for it.” You heard him whisper.

“Bucky please.” You cried. “P-please I need to cum please.” His pace didn’t change any. “Fuck Bucky- baby- please do something-”

He snarled at the words that were spilling out of your mouth, and began lapping up your juices with such ferocity that you thought he was starving. His fingers pumped in and out of you, curling ever so slightly to hit that sweet spot. Your mouth hung open in an O shape as he worked you, unable to string any piece of thought together. That cord in your belly began pulling tighter and tighter and your ears began to ring.

When the cord snapped, you saw stars and fireworks shoot off behind your eye lids. Your body twisted around Buckys mouth and he reached up, pinning your hips to the couch. “Oh fuck!” You panted. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Bucky pulled away after riding out your high, leaving you with an empty feeling inside. He sat back on his heels with a smirk on his face. His beard glistened with your cum, and it dribbled down his chest.

“Always knew you were a squirter, doll.” He grinned, licking his fingers. “Hmmm, so sweet.” You felt a blush creep across your cheeks. "Oh no, doll. Don't be embarrassed, it's so fucking hot."

His sat up and placed his arms on either side of your head, using the back of the couch for support. You could feel his achingly hard member rub across your cunt. Reaching down, you palmed at him and your eyes widened. Bucky was absolutely hung. He laughed at your reaction. There was no way he could possibly fit all of that inside of you without completely ruining you.

"Y/N." He said, his tone dropping. Your eyes found his. "Are you sure you want to do this? We can stop if you-"

You cut his sentence off by leaning up and kissing him. He sighed contently and kissed you back softly. His normal hand tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers traveling to the back of your head. You pulled away, chest rising and falling hard.

Bucky smiled sweetly at his as he shimmed out of his pants. You sat up and reached for his cock, wanting to return the favor of you giving him head. He suddenly snatched your wrists, pinning them above your head.

"Nuhuh, I want to pleasure you tonight. You can suck me off another time." He winked at you, and you grinned to yourself. So this wouldn't be one time thing, huh? Bucky spat in in the palm of his hand, and rubbed it up and down his cock. Salty precum was already leaking off of his angry red tip. "If I hurt you baby please say something." You nodded up at him.

His cock poked at your entrance and he slowly pushed into you. You hissed at the sudden intrusion, trying to relax yourself around him. You both moaned as he bottomed out inside of you, his tip poking at your cervix.

"Your so fucking tight." He whimpered, his head falling in the crook of your neck. "Feels so good around my cock, doll." He slowly pulled back out, and pushed back in at the same pace. "How you expect me to last long when you feel this good?"

You smirked and wrapped your legs around his waste, allowing him to feel and different angle. He growled into your neck, his hips picking up the pace. Moaning, you gripped his broad shoulders, your nails pressing into his skin. "So fucking perfect." He whispered. "So good, so mine."

"I'm gonna cum again." You whined, clawing at his back. He moaned, his hips snapping faster. "Oh fuck, oh shit."

Just as you were about to release, he fully pulled out of you and knelt down. He delved down to your core, lips sucking your clit. You whined and grabbed his hair tugging at it. You felt the cord snap again and your vision blurred as you came, chanting Bucky's name.

Coming down from your high, you grabbed Bucky by his shoulders and forced him to lay down on the couch. You leaned down and smashed your lips on his, tasting yourself on his tongue. Still kissing you, you leveled yourself down on his cock and plunged down on it. He groaned, his hands finding your hips. You pulled away from his mouth and pressed your forehead into his.

You could feel his cock pulsing against your velvet walls, encouraging you to move. You lifted your hips up and brought them back down, and a breathy moan escaped your lips. You worked his cock slowly at first, loving the expressions Bucky made as you fucked yourself on his cock.

You rocked your hips forward and backwards, drowning in the feeling it brought you. Pure ecstasy was the only way you could describe it. You could feel your walls clamping down on him as another orgasm was rapidly approaching.

"You gonna cum around my cock, baby doll?" He whispered into your ear, nibbling at your lobe. His sweet nothings brought you closer and closer to your release. Bucky suddenly lifted you up by your ass and slammed into you. You gasped and held onto his shoulders for support. "Oh I love that face. It's so perfect." He growled, his cock splitting you down the middle. "You gonna cum again, love?" You nodded fervently. "Then cum for me. Let me see that pretty face."

You cried out, walls spasming around him. Your moans mixed together and Bucky began desperately chasing after his own release. You collapsed onto his chest, a sob ripping through your chest as he came inside you.

"Oh fuck, you feel so good. Taking all my cum like a good little girl." He growled. "Shit-oh fuck! Fuck, doll!" His warm cum spilled into you, causing you to moan tiredly. It felt so good.

He made a few more lazy strokes before slowly lifting you off of him, and onto the couch. He got up and walked over to the kitchenette, grabbed a towel and a glass of water. You spread your legs for him and he dabbed at the cum that was leaking out of you, and handed you the glass. You gulped it down, feeling completely dehydrated. You handed the glass back to Bucky and he finished the rest before setting it down on the coffee table.

"I think that was the best sex I've ever had." You whispered, lips creeping onto your tired face. Bucky grinned and pulled you into a hug, laying back down on the couch.

"We're only getting started, Y/N." He pulled the blanket over top of you and pressed a kiss into your temple. "So perfect." He mumbled into your hair.

The two of you must have dozed off because when you woke back up, you heard sniggering.

"That's what those noises were last night." You heard a voice say. It was Sam.

"I did not need to see Barn's bare ass at 7 in the morning. No- scratch that. I did not need to see Barn's ass period." Tony groaned. You pulled your head out of the crook of Bucky's neck and looked up. Tony, Sam, and Steve stood in front of the TV, looking at the scene in front of them.

"At least he's getting some, Tony." Steve snorted.

"And gonna get plenty more." Bucky said, his voice full of morning sleep.

He pulled away from you and stood up from the couch. You heard Tony protest, saying something about not wanting to see Bucky naked. He wrapped you up in the blanket, carefully to make sure none of the other men saw you, and threw you over his shoulder. You waved and smiled at them as Bucky walked off towards his room.

"G’moring! Have fun on your jog!"

WARNINGS: Mentions of trying to unalive self, sh, loss of a child, ED if you squint, night terrors, angst, fluff at the end :)

female!reader x Bucky

Side note: i’m sorry this took so long to update, i didn’t know how to finish it skspshdjdjrjek thanks for reading :)

part 1 part 2

"Y/N, he needs to rest, okay?" Sam whispered softly. "I'll get you as soon as he wakes up."

"Why is he so dehydrated though? That's what I don't understand. " You whispered carefully, not wanting to wake Bucky up. "Has he not been taking care of himself?"

"Y/N..." Sam trailed off.

"Sam, please tell me. I’ll be okay. I'm not gonna break into a million pieces if you tell me. " You snorted, trying your best to sound optimistic.

"No, he hasn't.” Sam sighed finally. “He tried his best to hide it but it's so obvious. Everyone tried to help him, tried to get him to talk, but he refused. You know how stubborn he is."

"He can hear you." Bucky groaned, his voice hoarse. His eyes fluttered open and instantly made eye contact with Y/N. You looked good. Almost healthy. He quickly, ashamed. He busied himself, pretending to be interested with examining his body. There was two IV's sites that were pumping fluids into him, his chest covered with sticky pads (which were for EKG's) and a blood pressure cuff. Seeing all this made his head spin and he squeezed his eyes shut. "Fuck."

"I'll go get Bruce." Sam said quietly as he left the room.

The med bay was left in silence other than the steady beeping of Bucky's heart rate on the monitor. Bucky sniffed hard and reopened his eyes, and found Y/N sitting down in the chair beside the cot, staring at him.

"Hi." You whispered. Bucky didn't respond. He didn't know how to. "I just want to say I'm so sorry I did this to you, Bucky." Your voice shook as you spoke.

"Why didn't you want to see me?" Bucky blurted out, not able to think about anything else but that.

"It wasn't my idea. My doctors said it was for our best interest that we stayed away from each other."

"Best interest." Bucky echoed.

"Please understand I fought him on it almost every day while I was there. I wanted to see you, to tell you how sorry I was and how this wasn't your fault." You played with the frayed edges of your cardigan.

"Well I'm glad you got the help you needed." Bucky said, his eyes fixated on the ceiling. Y/N scoffed and leaned back into the chair.

"Don't play that game, Bucky. That place wasn't a fucking vacation, it was hell." You paused and licked your dry lips. "It was hell." Bucky winced at how hurt you sounded.

"I'm sorry." He lulled his head to the side, his eyes falling on you. "I just-"

"It's okay. You're allowed to be angry." You whispered as you touched his hand. He flinched at the contact. "I meant what I said, Bucky." You whispered again, intertwining his fingers with yours.

"And what's that?" He whispered back. You watched as his chest rose and fell heavily.

"That I-"

"Well look who's awake!" Bruce smiled as the door to the med bay swung open. Bucky and Y/N jumped apart. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." Bucky grumbled, annoyed at the intrusion. Banner picked up some paper that was sitting on the table behind him.

"Hmmm, that's not what your labs say." Banner retorted. "You're severely dehydrated, Buck. What have you been eating and drinking?"

"When I can? Chicken broth."

"And when's the last time you ate anything?"

Bucky paused, looking at Y/N. Would it upset you if he told Bruce the truth?

"Last week." He muttered looking away.

"And how often have you been throwing up?"

"Every day, sometimes more than once." Bucky said. Y/N winced at what he was saying. Did you cause this? Was it your fault Bucky was so sick?

"I'm surprised you've been able to go on this long. I suppose that's the super solider serum doing it’s magic." Banner cleared his throat. "If you can't keep anything down, you're gonna have to come in for IV fluids once a day."

"Whatever you say, doc." Bucky snorted. Yeah, fuck that. He didn’t care.

"Don't worry Bruce, I'll make sure he's here." Y/N patted Bucky on the shoulder, winking at him.

"That's what I'm hoping for." Banner clapped his hands together. "Okay, I'll leave you two kids alone then. I'm sure there's a lot you need to talk about."

"I'm 106, Banner." Bucky called after him as he walked out the door. Y/N chuckled, covering your mouth with your hand. "Have you talked to Steve?" He asked as soon as Banner was gone.

"Yeah. He visited almost every day." You responded. Bucky felt a twinge of jealousy rise from the pit of his stomach. "I told him everything, Bucky. About how we had sex, about how I was pregnant, and how I didn't love him the same way he had loved me." Bucky squeezed his eyes shut at her words, not wanting to hear what she had to say.

“And how’d he take that?”

“He was hurt.” Y/N said simply. “I mean I was expecting him to be. We spent 6 months flirting and having sex. I just couldn’t keep it up anymore, I couldn’t keep that from him.”

“Oh.” Bucky muttered quietly. The two of you were silent, not sure what to say. Y/N took a deep breath, the air rattling in her chest as she reached out with a shaky hand to grab Buckys.

"I never meant to hurt our baby, Bucky." Y/N hiccupped back a sob, squeezing his hand tight. "I loved him more than anything and I never meant to do what I did. It just happened. I was in a state of psychosis and…” You rubbed your left forearm, as if the cut was still fresh, still bleeding. "I was going to tell you, I promise. I wanted to so bad. Wanted you there for the first ultrasound but there just was never a good time and-" She was rambling but Bucky cut her off.

"Y/N don't. I don't want to talk about it, please."

"We need to, Bucky. Please. My doctor said it would be good to talk about it with you.” She begged.

"No." He demanded.

"Bucky, I know it'll make you feel better."

"I don't-" Bucky stuttered. "I can't-" He was hyperventilating. Sitting up in the bed, he panted, "Fuck I'm gonna get sick." Y/N handed him a bedpan and Bucky quickly grabbed it, spilling out the contents of his stomach- which wasn't a lot. When he was done, he set the bed pan down and collapsed back on the pillow, dizzy again. Y/N softly smoothed back Bucky's hair that was sticking to his forehead. "I'm sorry, but I just can't. Not yet.”

"I shouldn't have pushed you." You whispered, setting your head on his shoulder. The two of you sat like that for a while, just embracing each others touch. It felt good. Your fingers played and twisted Bucky's hair and Bucky slowly ran his metal hand down your back, causing goosebumps to pop up. You inhaled sharply and looked up, finding Bucky's eyes already on you, a look of longing written across this face.

"Bucky..."

"Y/N..." Before you could even comprehend what was happening Bucky was pulling you on top of him. Your lips crashed together as your hands roamed through his hair.

Bucky's hands gripped your hips for dear life, like you would disappear at any moment. Your teeth grazed across his bottom lip, which triggered a moan to escape his lips. His hands traveled up your back, squeezing as he went, causing you to shudder. It felt so good to be in his embrace.

Y/N pulled up, panting. You stared down at him, his ice blue eyes looking back into yours. “I’ve missed you, Bucky.” You whispered, your finger tips grazing his cheek.

“I’ve missed you too.” He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his callused fingers tickling your jaw line. You peppered a few more kisses onto his lips before sliding off to him, and curling up at his side. Bucky wrapped a protective arm over top of you, pulling you impossibly close to him. Y/N glanced at the clock on wall. 1:35am. You were used to being in bed by 10 so you were exhausted being up this late. Just as you started to doze off, you could have sworn you heard Bucky whisper- almost inaudible, “I love you.”

Bucky stayed up most of the night, only sleep about an hour in total. He watched you sleep to make sure you wouldn’t slip away in the middle of the night and he would wake up alone, again. The morning sun was beginning to rise, casting hazy sunlight through the windows of the med bay. And in that peace, you had a night terror.

Your nails suddenly dug into Buckys skin, trying to claw at it. You’re incoherent moans and groans filling the quietness of the room. Thrashing around, Bucky caught you before you fell off the edge of the small cot.

“Y/N.” He grabbed your face, bringing you close to him, trying to stop or writhing. “Y/N wake up.” He called out.

“Killed him.” You cried out in your sleep, hands snaking down to your stomach. “Killed him!”

“Doll, honey- you’re dreaming. Wake up.” Bucky trembled, so afraid for what you were dreaming about. “Doll face wake up.” He pressed his fingers on the back of your neck, trying to soothe you.

“Killed him.” You repeated. “My fault.”

Another 10 minutes went by with you silently screaming, face contorted in pain. Bucky kept you close waiting for you to wake up so he could comfort you like he always did. He stroked your hair while murmuring “shhh” every time you jerked or called out.

Eventually, you settled down, tired eyes blinking up at Bucky. “Did I have another one?” You asked quietly, sleep thick in your voice.

“It was pretty mild, but yeah.” He whispered back. Moaning, you buried your face into Bucky’s chest. Inhaling his scent, you noticed he smelled like whiskey and cinnamon. It instantly relaxed your jittery nerves.

“You smell good.” You muttered. You heard Bucky chuckle.

“Considering this shirt hasn’t been washed in 2 weeks I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Y/N sat up and discarded your cardigan, because it was getting hot laying against Buckys warm body. His eyes traveled down to your arms, his eyebrows furrowed at the scars. They were still healing a bit, scabs were dotted across them. Bucky sighed loudly which caused you to look at him.

“I wanna show you something. C’mon.” He slowly got out of bed, his dizziness still plaguing him. You hoped down beside him and followed him outside the med bay.

“Where are we going?” You asked trailing behind him.

“The gardens.” He responded quietly. You turned some corners and were standing outside the entrance to the living room. Inside you could hear Steve talking. Bucky slowed his pace, unsure if he should go in. “We can just go around-” He started to say put Y/N pushed him forward.

“Morning.” Tony greeted nodding at them. Bucky could see visibly tense up when they came into the room. “How are you feeling, Barns?”

“Better.” He said. “Still dizzy but better.”

“Banner works some magic, doesn’t he?” Tony smiled. “Y/N, Steve made some waffles for you.”

“Your favorite.” Steve gushed, finally looking over at the two. Y/N shifted uncomfortably on her feet and nodded.

“I’ll get some after we get back from the garden. Bucky needed to show me something.” Y/N replied meekly. Bucky saw Steve roll his eyes, and anger boiled inside of him. “Come on, Buck. Let’s go.” Y/N grabbed his hand and drug him out of the living room. Bucky was still fuming, but your touch was easing him.

 Finally, you guys made it out to the gardens. It was beautiful- the sunrise was peaking over the edge of the wall of the compound cast pastel shadows over the pathways. There was morning dew sticking to the grass, which made Y/N's bare feet wet as they walked to the corner.

"What are we doing out here, Bucky?" You asked.

"I just wanted to show you." He mumbled. You stopped at a small stone that read 'Forever in Our Hearts'. "Everyone suggested that-" Bucky sniffed and looked away. "That he should be buried."

Y/N didn't know what to say. You dropped to the ground, your head grazed over the stone. "This was a nice spot."

"This is the first time I've been out here. I couldn't d-do it alone." -Bucky sat down beside you. "I'm sorry. I should have-"

"It's okay." You whispered. "I don't think I would have either." Your hand grabbed his tightly. "Do you know what I wanted to name him?"

"I hadn't even thought about that."

"I wanted to name him James. After his father." You looked up at him, eyes locking together. Tears brimmed behind his lower lashes.

"I wouldn't have been a good father." He whispered, looking down. You grabbed his cheeks softly, making him look back up at you.

"Yes you would have, Bucky." You said. He was silent for a moment.

"I love you, Y/N."

"I love you too."

@chipilerendi

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of unaliving self, PTSD, Bucky have flash backs, vomiting, loss of pregnancy, ED if you squint, lots and lots and lots of angst. sad, saaaad, Bucky :(

female!reader x steve and bucky love triangle (not as much here)

Side note: HI! I'M SO SORRY! I LOVE YOU ALL:) *also if the text is in italics it means there's a flashback*

part 1

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It had been almost a month since Bucky had last seen Y/N. Tony and Steve thought it was best for Y/N to be admitted to the psychiatric ward at the near by hospital. But you have been gone a month. And you didn't put Bucky down on the approved list of people that could come visit you. The only thing he had left of you was the last conversation you guys had, and it was slowly driving him insane.

"Bucky? Where are they taking me? I don't wanna go." You were still loopy from the anesthesia Banner had used during your surgery. The way you were talking to him made it seem like you had just forgotten everything that had happened over the last 3 months.

"Shh, it's okay." Bucky said softly. Talking still hurt his throat. "But you gotta. You gotta get better, okay?" You nodded and sniffled. "Don't cry doll. It's all gonna be okay." He tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, like he always did when you were upset.

"What happened to your face?" You muttered, your fingers grazing across the cut on his cheek bone. Bucky flinched at your touch, not wanting to remember how it felt.

"Don't worry, doll. Just get some rest. I'll see you soon." Bucky stood up from beside the cot and nodded at the paramedics who were standing close by to take you to the hospital.

"Bucky?" You asked quietly.

"Yeah, doll?" He could feel the hot tears in his eyes getting ready to spill over.

"I love you."

"Bucky," Sam tapped his shoulder. "Are you listening?"

"Sorry." He mumbled. "Just thinking." He rested his elbows on his knees and leaned forward, wringing his hands together.

"I asked how you were doing?" Sam repeated.

"I'm fine."

"Don't do that Buck." He scoffed, slumping into his chair. "You gotta talk about this shit, man. And I know you normally talk to Steve but-"

"Sam, don't."

"Bucky-"

"I don't need your fucking pity.” Bucky growled, getting to his feet. Sam stared into his eyes with exactly what Bucky was upset about; pity.

"I am trying, damnit." Sam seethed through his teeth. "I am trying to hold you together and I am trying to hold Steve together. I hate being the middle man but if you two want to act like you're in high school and give each other the silent treatment, then I'll do it. I don't like seeing my friends hurting." He sighed and rubbed his temples. "You are very clearing showing signs of PTSD, and if you just let me help you, I can try to make it better."

"Everyone hates me, Sam." Bucky changed the subject.

"No, they don't. They're worried about you." Sam tossed his arms up in the air, exasperated. "You and Steve lost so much in one night, they're scared for you. They are mourning with you, Bucky. Please understand that."

Bucky scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I gotta go, this was pointless."

"Bucky-" He didn't hear what else Sam had to say before he shut the door to his office behind him and stormed down the hallway. He scoffed and shook his head. Fucking therapy. Tony had forced him to go or else he was sending him some place like Y/N was. He didn't need it anybody’s help, he was fine.

Bucky had wondered around the compound for hours after been you’d taken away, unsure of where he was going. This place felt so empty without Y/N here. He felt so empty. He found himself standing outside Steve's room after walking for hours. The sun was starting to rise now. His arm jerked as if he wanted to knock on the door, but he couldn't do it.

Then why did he knock?

Steve opened the door and was standing in front of him, eyes red from crying. His hair a mess. He definitely didn't look like the calm and collected Captain America.

"What the fuck do you want?" He spat, glaring down at his best friend.

"I-" Bucky was at a loss for words. "I don't know."

Steve laughed bitterly. "Get the fuck out of my face before I knock your teeth out."

"Steve, please-" Bucky's voice broke. "I need-I need you. Please."

"You need me?" Steve hissed. "What about what I need, huh? Does how I feel just not matter to you?”

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, staring down at his feet. He couldn’t look Steve in the eyes any longer.

“You were fucking her.” Steve laughed, almost as it was a joke. “You were fucking my girl. You got my girl pregnant, and she tried to kill herself. Because of you, Bucky. So get out of my face. I don’t care what you have to say.”

"You're the only one-" Bucky tried desperately. He needed to talk. And Steve was the only one who understood.

"Save it, I don't wanna hear it. You ever show up at my door again," He took a deep breath, his eyes falling on the bruising cut that was on his cheek. "I won't stop this time." Steve slammed the door in Bucky's face.

Bucky was standing in front of Y/N's room. The door had long opened and an empty room was staring back. After you had left, Pepper and Nat had cleaned your room up the best that they could. While cleaning they had found an ultrasound picture hidden away in your nightstand. Nat said she wanted to throw it out but Pepper stole it from her and brought it to Bucky one evening. Bucky didn't know what to do with it so he brought it back to your room, stashing it away where you had kept it. He didn't want to take anything out of your room for when you came back. He wanted it to look like how you had left it. Well- before you destroyed it anyway.

Bucky slowly sat down on the edge of the bed, the springs groaning at the sudden weight on it. No one had sat here in a long time. Bucky heaved a sigh and hung his head, his long hair made a curtain around his face. You were always telling him to cut it.

A frown crept onto his lips, silently cursing himself. You teasing him about his hair is was started this whole thing. It was 4 months ago, you guys had most of the compound to yourself and were passing the time playing a drinking game.

He still remembers the smile on your face when you had brought up his hair, thinking it was hilarious how it was so long. Your laugh was more intoxicating than the alcohol the two of you were consuming. He just couldn't stop staring at you, your beautiful eyes, your hair that smelled like lavender, your gorgeous smile. And every time you leaned over it would expose your cleavage from the top of the thin tank top you had on. By the time you were done giggling Bucky had leaned in and grabbed your face, pressing his lips firmly against yours. You were stunned at first but quickly gave into his advances, as you had been waiting for this moment too.

A noise outside the room made Bucky snap back to reality.

"Thought I would find you here." A soft voice whispered. It was Nat. She gave him a soft smile before sitting down on the edge of the bed beside him. "It okay if I sit?" Bucky shrugged his shoulders and nodded. "Sam said you're having a bad day."

"Sam doesn't know shit."

"I know some days are tougher than others. You seemed to be doing okay last week. Actually saw you smile." She laughed quietly. Bucky didn't say anything. "She's not dead, Bucky."

"Why the fuck-"

"Shut up and listen." Any hint of kindness in her voice was gone. "I'm not like Sam, I'm not gonna coddle you. She is alive and is doing better, I just came from the hospital."

"We'll I'm glad you got to see her." He scoffed.

"I know you're not gonna hear what I have to say, but just listen to this- you are not alone, Bucky. Okay? I know none of that matters because you don't have the people you love most around you. But the rest of us are you for you, and Steve. Okay?" Bucky opened his mouth to snap something back but Nat held up her hand. "Just tell me you understand, okay? Because if I have to clean up one more persons blood off the floor I am going to loose my mind."

Bucky sighed and nodded his head. "Okay. I understand." Nat patted him on the shoulder before standing up and left the room. A tear dribbled down his cheek and he quickly whipped it away. Why couldn’t everyone just leave him alone?

Absolutely exhausted, he kicked his shoes off and laid down, not wanting to pick himself up and walk back to his room. Everything just felt too heavy. His eyes slowly fluttered shut, no matter how hard Bucky fought against it. But it was just too heavy.

"Hey, I need to talk to you." Banner said quietly, standing in Bucky's door way.

"What?" Bucky grumbled from his spot on the bed. "If it's about checking my head, I don't want to hear it. I'm fine, he didn’t hit me that hard.”

"No, it's not that. I need to know-"

"Then what?"

"I need to know what you want to do with the fetus...the baby." He shifted his weight back and forth.

A heavy silence surrounded the two of them. "Why me?" Bucky croaked out finally.

"Well, you're the father and-"

"Don't. Don't call me that." Bucky pointed a stern finger at him Bruce stood there awkwardly, waiting for Bucky to tell him what to do. He blinked back a few tears and cleared his throat. "What do you think I should do?"

"Well, everyone else thinks you should bury him."

Him. It was a boy. Bucky was going to have a son. His son. Y/N's son. Our son.

"Then bury him."

"I think you should go."

"I don't want to."

"Bucky, please. You need to cope."

"Oh yeah, and how should I do that, doctor?" Bucky snapped back. Bruce sighed, defeated. "Go fucking burry the thing and get over it. I don't want to be there, got it?" Why was he saying this? That's not what he wanted to say.

"Okay. Sorry for bothering you." Banner exited his room in a defeated sigh, his shoulder hunched over.

Some more time ticked by before there was another knock on the door. Bucky jumped slightly as he just starting to fall asleep. He hadn't slept in about two days and it was starting to take a toll on him. The evening sun cast shadows that danced around in his dark room.

"Bruce I swear-" He opened the door and stepped back, surprised. It was Pepper. She smiled shyly at him. Bucky thinks she hasn't said more than 10 words with him since he came to live at the compound a year ago. Mostly just awkward good mornings when they came into the kitchen at the same time to get coffee. Pepper always got up early but Bucky was fed up of trying to fall asleep.

"Oh. Did...did you need something?" He asked looking down at her. Pepper wasn't as hard as everyone else at the compound, she hasn’t seen the things everyone else had. He had barely spoken to her and there were already tears forming in her eyes.

"Nat-" She cleared her throat and attempted to wipe the tears away from her eyes. "Nat and I were cleaning up Y/N's room, so it won't be a mess when she comes back. And we'll we found this." She held out some grainy pictures. Bucky wasn't sure what he was looking at.

"What are these?" He muttered, taking them from her.

"They're ultrasound pictures. I guess she knew..." She cleared her throat again, fighting back the urge to cry. "Sorry. I guess she knew about the pregnancy. Nat wanted to throw them out but I thought you should have them."

Bucky didn't know what to say. He didn't want to open his mouth and rip Peppers head off, because he knew that she was just trying to be nice. Trying to make him feel better, but honestly it was just making him feel worse. If you knew you were pregnant why did you try to kill yourself? Or is that why you tried to kill yourself?

Before he could think of what to say, a sob ripped through his chest, his knees giving out under him. Pepper moved quickly to his side and threw her small body against Bucky's, wrapping him up in a hug. She tried to hold him up the best she could, but they crumpled to the ground together.

"I'm so sorry, Bucky." She cried. Her hands grabbed the back of his shirt, like she was trying to keep him from falling apart. It wasn’t working. It felt like someone was chiseling away at his heart. He clutched the ultrasound pictures to his chest, another sob wracking through his body. He wanted Y/N. He wanted you here with him, mourning the loss of your child together. "I'm so sorry." Pepper repeated. Bucky gently pushed her away and tried to calm himself down.

"Thank you for these, Pepper." He babbled. "But I need to be alone. Please leave me alone." She shook her head at what he was saying and tried to protest. He held up his hand to stop her. “Go. Just go.” He pleaded. Finally, she left him there, sitting in the door way, holding the only pictures of his son that he would ever get.

Bucky woke up with a gasp, his clothes were soaked and sticking to his skin from his sweat and it felt like his heart was going to explode out of his chest, his stomach churning in knots. He scrambled out your bed and into the bathroom and vomited into the toilet. These fucking dreams would not leave him alone. Ever since you left that's all he was able to dream about.

He spilled his guts out a few more times before slumped down beside the toilet, he shoved his head in hands and took a few deep breathes, trying to ease his spinning head. He gagged at the taste of vomit in his mouth and spit into the toilet again. Standing up shakily, he looked at himself in the mirror that was above the sink. He hated the person looking back. He looked sick, disgusting.

Saying Bucky looked rough was an understatement. His eyes were sunken in, which were accompanied by dark bags. His hair was ratty and dull and he hadn't trimmed his beard in weeks. He had also lost weight and muscle mass from not being able to eat. He couldn't. The only thing he was able to keep down was chicken broth and he hardly even eat that. He had no desire to work out either. His metal arm, which he usually polished at least once a week was dull too. And covered in scratches from him clawing at it in the middle of the night.

Bucky sighed heavily and rinsed his mouth and face with water. Patting his face dry with a towel he realized for the first time, he was starving. He could smell someone cooking bacon down in the kitchen and it made his mouth water.

Maybe Sam was right, Bucky did need to talk about this. Or maybe Steve was the one who was right. This was all his fault. He made the first move on you. The baby was his. Everything was his fault. Maybe if he had just left you alone, none of this would have happened. He couldn’t think straight anymore, nothing made sense without you here.

He pushed his thoughts out of his head as he remade your bed. Picking up his boots from off the ground, he slowly made his way back to his room. It was a hot mess inside, more than normal. Bucky doesn't remember the last time he picked anything up. He discarded his sticky clothes and got into the shower, letting the hot water fall over his skin. He hummed contently as he washed his hair, yanking to get the knots out. While he was in there he trimmed his beard the best he could without looking in a mirror.

Getting out and rubbed the steam off the mirror and looked at himself again. His beard and his hair looked better, but his eyes still looked empty. He still felt empty. Bucky tossed on some clothes that smelled the cleanest, which happened just an old pair of sweats and a t-shirt.

Taking a deep breath he left his room, or his cave, as Sam called it, and went down to the kitchen. It seemed like everyone was there, talking and laughing together. Bucky felt an instant nauseous feeling build in his stomach as eyes fell on him. He felt like an outsider, no, he was an outsider. Always has been as always will be

"Hey, Buck." Sam greeted, pulling Bucky out of his thoughts. "There's coffee in the pot if you want some." Bucky gave him a small smile and poured himself a cup, and grabbed a few pieces of bacon and fruit that was cut up. He sat down beside Sam and cleared this throat. Sam looked down at the small amount of food that Bucky had gathered and frowned slightly, but refrained from saying anything. He should be glad he was eating at all.

"Where's Steve at this morning?" Bucky asked, taking a sip of coffee, which stung going down his throat.

"Oh, he went to visit Y/N." Sam replied nonchalantly.

"Hm." Bucky stared down at his food, which suddenly repulsed him. Maybe this was a mistake, he should have stay in his room. Sam silently cursed himself for bring you up and tried to change the conversation.

"Sleep any better last night?" Sam questioned.

"A little. Fell asleep about an hour after we got done talking." He shrugged. “Woke up a little bit ago.”

"So you slept for 14 hours?" Sam chuckled. "We got done talking at 5, so you were out for 14 hours. I'd call that pretty good sleep."

"Doesn't mean it was restful."

"It's still a good thing that you slept through the night." Sam took a bite out of his bacon. "Oh my god, I swear Vision makes the best food." He goaded. Sam was obviously trying to get Bucky to eat.

"I know." Bucky faked a smile as he couldn't shake the feeling that he was going to get sick again. The feeling suddenly got overwhelming and he suddenly stood to his feet, his chair scrapping loudly against the floor, which caused everyone to stop and look. They watched as Bucky disappeared down the hall to the bathroom.

There was nothing in Bucky's stomach for him to throw up, besides that little bit of coffee. He was now just dry heaving, spit trickling down his chin. He just wanted this to go away, why couldn't it go away? Bucky heaved into the toilet one last time before picking his head up, wiping away the spit that was now traveling down his neck. He noticed there was a slight red tinge to it.

He brought his knees up to his chest and his hands shook as he pushed his hair out of his eyes. The room was spinning, he was so dizzy. His mouth felt he had just chewed on chalk. He was a super solider, god damn it. He wasn't supposed to feel like this. Something wasn’t right.

He slowly got to his feet, hanging onto the sink for support. Slowly he made his way back to the kitchen, leaning against the wall so he wouldn’t fall over. He just needed to get to Banner. Banner would know what to do.

Back in the kitchen, Bucky could hardly see. His vision was darkening and his ears were ringing. He could feel eyes on him. Gripping the wall for support, he dry heaved again. “Bucky?” Someone asked, concern in their voice. That voice. He knew that voice.

“Y/N?” He panted, his head snapping up. The quick action made his head spin and his grip on the wall loosened. He caught a glimpse of you right before he fell on his face, vision going black, everything falling silent.

part 3

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING: Su!c!de attempt, graphic description of bl00d, mentions of death, medical procedure talk, loss of pregnancy, PTSD, lots and lots of angst, mentions of drinking.

Female!reader, love triangle with Steve and Bucky (kinda?)

Word count: roughly 2,076

Please don't read if any of these warnings will trigger you :)

I'M SO SORRY PLEASE DON'T HATE ME

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Bucky's eyes snapped open, his advanced hearing honing in on the soft wails coming from down the hall. It was you, it always you. He inhaled sharply and pushed himself out of his warm bed, his dog tags clinking against his bare chest. It gets worse when Steve isn't here; your night terrors. He's the only one that can rock you back to sleep, soothing your tear stained cheeks and calming your raging mind. Bucky isn't very good at it, but he can get the job done.

His door slid open and he walked quietly down the hallway, careful not to wake anybody else up. Tony had to semi soundproof your room. When you first came to live in the compound, your screams would keep everyone up all night. Now only Bucky and Steve could hear your cries, which often made for sleepless nights. But lately it’s been getting better, which he was thankful for. Both for your sake and his sake.

Bucky stopped in front of your door, expecting it to just slide open like it normally does. But it didn't. Confused, he waved his hand in front of the sensor but it didn't budge. "Friday?" He yawned, annoyed. What couldn't Tony just put in normal doors? They're so much simpler. "What's wrong with the door?"

"It seems that Ms. Y/L/N has locked it." Strange. You never lock it.

"Well, unlock it." He snapped back at the AI.

"I cannot. She has over-ridden my capabilities to unlock it."

"What?" Bucky asked, suddenly more awake. The hairs on his arms stood up and a gut wrenching feeling began to churn in his stomach. He could hear you on the other side, still crying. "Y/N!" Bucky yelled pounding on the door. The cries grew harder. "Y/N open the door!"

"Go away!" You screamed. "Just go!" This wasn't a night terror, you were awake. “I don’t need you, Bucky!”

"Friday, get Tony down here." Bucky yelled, pounding on the door again. "Y/N please just open the door! Let me help!"

"Don't need your help." There was the sound of the bathtub starting up. "Just go."

"Bucky,” A tired voice groaned from behind him. Sam. "It's 2:30 in the morning, why in the hell are you screaming."

"Y/N locked us out." He muttered, pressing his ear against the door. He could hear you whimpering on the other side. "Friday can't open it."

"Friday, get Tony-"

"He is on his way." She replied back. "Ms. Y/N also disabled her cameras. I can't see inside there either."

"Y/N!" Bucky tried again, his voice cracking just enough for him to notice. Hopefully not enough for Sam to notice.

"Does someone wanna tell me why I am down here in the middle of the god damn night?" Another voice said behind them.

"Just get the fucking door open." Bucky snarled. Tony took note of the worry and urgency in his voice and unlatched a panel that was next to the door. He moved some wires around and the door hissed open.

Bucky rushed in and the state of your room hit him like a truck. It was a wreak. Your mattress was halfway off of its frame, your dresser was knocked over with all the clothes torn out, and there was a smashed chair in the corner. You had also punched out your mirror, making Bucky's footsteps crunch as he walked through her room. How did he not hear this? Why didn't he wake up? But that's not what bothered Bucky. His nose instantly picked up on a coppery smell that stung the inside of his nostrils, making him instantly nauseous. He pushed into the bathroom, where somehow the cupboard was shoved in front of.

The sight before him was enough to make him cry and vomit at the same time. You were submerged in the bathtub, the water stained a bright red color. A long shard of glass from the mirror was laying on the floor, stained with your crimson blood. Two deep long cuts had been carved into your forearms. The ringing in his ears slowly subsided and he heard the sound of either Tony or Sam dry heaving behind him. He wasn't sure who it was.

"Friday, prep medical bay. Get Banners ass up. Now." He heard Tony growl.

Bucky sunk to his knees, his sweatpants become stained with the blood soaked water that had sloshed over the edge. "Y/N." He muttered. She was pale. Too pale. "Y/N!" He yelled grabbing her by the shoulders. “Open your fucking eyes and look at me!" You didn't open her eyes, the only movement was coming from your chest. You were taking quick short breaths, which Bucky figured wasn't good. "Please don't do this to me, please. I need you, fuck-" He choked back a sob.

"Buck, we have to get her down to-" Before Sam could finish his sentence, Bucky was lifting you out of the water and took off towards the med bay.

Banner was already down there, a suturing kit already laid out. "How much blood has she lost?" He asked immediately as soon as Bucky came barreling through the doorway.

"A lot." Was all he could manage. He carefully laid you down on the cot. His thoughts were going a mile a minute. You were supposed to be getting better. Sam and Banner were supposed to be helping you, the therapy was supposed to be helping. Not killing you. Why wasn’t it helping? Why were you so selfish? How could you do that to us? To me, to Steve. To this whole team?

"Well good thing most of the team is A Positive so we have some on standby for her." Banner said. Bucky wasn't sure if he was talking to him or to himself.

Banner flushed out your wounds with what looked like water, and carefully began to stitch you up. Bucky noticed the slight shaking in his wrist and he pulled your skin together.

"Where is Steve?" Bucky whispered to Tony, not taking his eyes off of Y/N and Banner. For once, you looked like you were at peace. Your features were smoothed and relaxed, nothing like your previous state.

"His teams on their way back. ETA 4 hours." Tony whispered back.

A heavy silence fell over the med bay. Bucky felt drained. He couldn't keep his thought straight in his head, and it was numbing. He just kept asking the same thing. Why? You were doing so good. You were laughing, smiling, and actually making progress to talk to people outside your comfort zone. Of course you were still having night terrors, Sam said those wouldn't go away for a long time. But other than that you were fine. You said you were fine. He couldn't understand why.

Banner was done with one side. He moved over to the other and began to repeat the process, but one of the machines she was hooked up to began beeping rapidly. His head snapped up and his brows furrowed.

"Friday do a full body scan please." He grunted.

"What? What's wrong?" Bucky pleaded, his skin tightening and his stomach doing loops.

"Blood pressure is dropping. Not good." Was all he heard over the several machines firing at once.

"There is hemorrhaging. Location: uterus." Friday said back. "Surgery is recommended."

Banner quickly finished the last of the sutures and yanked your water and blood soaked sweatpants off. There was a large amount of blood pooling in between your legs.

"Bruce what is that?" Bucky yelled rushing over to them. "What's wrong with her, did she stab herself there?" He felt like he was going to vomit.

"Bucky-" He started as he fumbled with some tubing.

"What are you doing to her?!" Bucky yelled again his voice become more and more distressed. "You're gonna kill her please help her!"

"Tony get him the hell out of here!" Banner screamed finally, the Hulks voice peaking behind his anger and frustration.

Bucky was being yanked out of the bay by Sam and Tony. He could fight back easily, fight them off so he could be with you. But his legs were so shaky he could hardly stand on his own two feet. The windows that looked into the bay dimmed and Bucky caught one last look as Banner yanked down Y/N's underwear. A sob escaped from Buckys lips as he crumpled to the ground. What was happening now? Y/N must be so scared. He was so scared.

He felt that hot tears prick at his cheeks and dribbled down into his beard hair. He was crying. Crying for the first time in who knows how long. He couldn't loose you. You were the only one who truly understood Bucky. You meant too much to him.

"Buck-" Sam started but Bucky just cut him off.

"Leave me alone." He sobbed. It felt like a metal pipe had been shoved down Buckys throat. He couldn’t breathe. "Please just go away." Tony and Sam shared a look before the disappeared down the hallway.

He sat there for what seemed like days. But it was only hours. Soon enough Steve came jogging down the hallway to where Bucky sat.

"Buck." Steve gasped, kneeling down next to him. "What happened?"

"I thought she was having a night terrors." Bucky's voice was raw and it hurt to swallow. The crying must have stopped hours ago, but he couldn't remember when it ended. "But she locked me out. Tried to...tried to..."

"Oh god." Steve whimpered, understanding what he was saying. “Is she...?" Bucky shook his head.

"She started bleeding. I think Banners still doing surgery." Steve's face was screwed tightly together as he stood back up. Bucky couldn't tell what he was feeling. He paced the hallway for a bit before he slid down against the wall across from Bucky, his eyes blankly staring at the door. He could see the trembling in his chest when he inhaled.

They sat there in silence for about another hour, when suddenly, the doors to the med bay swung open. Banners eyes fell on them. He sighed heavily and put his hands in his pockets.

"What? What is it?" Bucky pleaded getting to his feet, which caused Steve to stand up.

"Is she okay?" Steve asked, his brows closely knit together.

"Yeah. She's stable. Woke up for a few minutes but she's sleeping now. I had to give her some medicine to calm her down. And I had to..." He trailed off. "Restrain her. She's very agitated." Bruce exhaled and wrung his hands together.

"Then what happened? Why did you have to do surgery." Bucky prodded. He could tell Banner was hiding something.

"The bleeding was caused by a mixture of shock and her blood pressure tanking. I couldn't-" He cleared his throat like he was keeping back tears. "I couldn't save the fetus. She miscarried."

It felt like someone had punched Bucky in the gut. Fetus? Miscarried? She was pregnant?

"From what I could tell she was about 15 weeks along. I ran the DNA because I wasn't...I wasn't sure who the father was."

"I had a child?" Steve whimpered. Tears were falling freely down his face.

"No, Steve.” He whispered softly. “Bucky, it was yours.”

"What? No. That's impossible." Steve scoffed. "You must have your science shit mixed up. There is no way."

"No, he's right." Bucky whispered, absolute shocking talking grip of his body.

"I'm sorry. It was a boy."

"What? No. No! It's wrong. Go test it again Banner! I know it's wrong!"

"Steve-"

"You were fucking her?!" Steve screamed, turning to Bucky. "You knew I was in love with her and you were fucking her?!"

"It was once Steve! Almost 3 months ago! We were drunk and you were away on a mission and I came onto her!" Bucky bargained, staring into the flames of his best friend’s eyes.

"You fucked my girl! My girl!" Steve was irate, barely able to contain himself.

"She isn't yours Steve, you're not even together!"

"I told her that I loved her! And you went and fucked her anyway! What, do you always follow your dick!? I bet that's why she refuses to look at you!"

"No, she told me that she loved me!" Bucky screamed back, his voice echoing in the hallway as silence washed over them. Bucky took a deep breath. "She said it first. And I told her it was a mistake and should be with you." He said quietly.

Steve let out an animalistic growl, and his fist made contact with the side of Bucky's cheek and the back of his head smashed against the wall.

"I love you Bucky." Y/N's soft voice said. Your head was currently buried in Bucky's bare chest. "It's you. It's always has been." You whispered.

Bucky reached down and cupped her cheek, making you look at him. He has been waiting to hear that since they first met. He didn't believe in love at first sight but ever since he first laid eyes on you, he started to believe.

"You don't mean that, doll." He muttered back. Alcohol was still running its course through their bodies. "You're drunk."

"Drunk words are a sober mans thoughts."

"Y/N-"

"I want you Bucky. Just you. No more going back and forth between you and Steve. I can't do that anymore, Bucky. Please believe me." You pleaded, your large eyes staring into his.

"You deserve someone like Steve, not like me. You can't love me." He sighed, letting go of your face.

"I love Steve. He’s amazing and kind, but I love I have for him isn’t like how I love you.”

"No. You love the thought of me." He snapped, rising off the bed. "But you don't love me Y/N. I promise you, you don't. You shouldn't." He gathered his clothes from the floor and shimmied into them. He reached the door and stopped at the sound of your voice.

"But-" Bucky winced at the sound of your voice as it was filling with tears.

"I'm sorry." He whispered turning away, his own eyes brimming with tears. "I don't deserve you. You can't love me. I'm sorry."

part 2

holy fucking shit everything about this was perfect

stick to me, like caramel

Retired!Bucky Barnes x Reader 

Summary: Sergeant Barnes has retired, and moved as far away as possible from the superhero life. He’s still in touch with some of his friends, but he never asks them to visit. Nor does he ever leave the quaint, warm small town he’s found himself in, or the spacious home he has, nestled between mountains and dense pine woods. Bucky lives a quiet life, away from danger, guns and bullets, aliens and wizards, and all the other noises. He likes it here. It’s calm, nice, and quiet. Nothing stresses him out, nothing bothers him. Nothing, except a certain neighbour of his. She torments him, in the best ways. And Bucky’s not sure how long he can resist her. 

Themes: age gap (I mean he’s a century old), smut, mild primal play, FLUFF, mild degrading kink, angst, soft!bucky, mild praise kink, HEA 

Keep walking. Keep walking. Keep walking. 

He chanted in his head as he walked down the almost empty road, the sun was gonna set soon and most people were all inside their cosy homes, the elder ones at least. The young people hung out mostly in parking lots, or they drove up the mountains. So, not many people about. Which was one of the many reasons he decided to spend his retirement here. The roads were always empty at this time, and Bucky liked silent, long walks during sunset hours. 

It calmed him down. That was it. No other reason. Of course he didn’t go on walks at this specific time just so he would run into you. Of course he didn’t choose this specific road for his daily walks only because this was where your little bookstore was situated. And of course he didn’t pick this exact time to go on his walks only because he knows this is also the time when you close up your store and walk home – completely unbeknownst to the fact that Bucky frequently followed you from a distance, making sure you got home safe. 

Okay, it sounded a little stalker-ish. But he didn’t mean any harm. Plus he lived right next to you. Granted there was a little uphill walk from your house to his, but still. He was bound to take the same path anyway. 

He didn’t even know when exactly this little infatuation stemmed out of nowhere. Perhaps it happened on the very first day, when he woke up in the morning and stepped out on his balcony to take in the breathtaking view of the foggy woods, the rich veridian pine trees, the dark mountains, the rain clouds, when he suddenly spotted a bright red spot moving along the edge of the woods not far from his home. Bucky squinted and a few moments later realised he was staring at a young woman, wearing a red coat, who was frolicking about, picking flowers. 

Bucky couldn’t help but smile at the mundane task. It was peaceful to watch, so he kept watching until he noticed the woman was making her way back. He watched as she got closer and closer, until she stopped, looked up right at him, and waved. 

Bucky waved back awkwardly, only then realising that the woman he’d been spying on was his next door neighbour. That was the first time Bucky saw you. And ever since, you’d been basically living in his head. 

His little crush on you only got worse when, by the end of his first week since moving there, you showed up at his door and brought him a basket filled with all sorts of baked goods, muffins and cookies, which smelled divine. Bucky accepted the basket a little clumsily because he was nervous, and made small talk but really, he was freaking out because you were even more beautiful up close. 

“I’m your neighbour!” You announced, smiling up at him. Again, wearing that lovely red coat. Your hood was down this time though. 

Bucky nodded, smiling sheepishly, “Yeah, I saw you the other day.” 

You turned and pointed at one area not far from Bucky’s property, “The edible flowers I love grow around there, and I usually pick them in the morning.” 

Edible flowers. He didn’t care what you were doing there. Picking flowers or worshipping at the altar of some ancient deity. All he cared about was that you were here talking to him. “I see.” 

“I use them in my baking, my customers love them!” 

Well he was thankful that his lack of social and communication skills hadn’t scared you off just yet. But also, customers? “Customers?” He questioned. 

“I own the only bookstore in this little town.” You said proudly. “Not many readers though, I’m afraid.” You chuckled, “So I bribe them with muffins, cookies, and tea.” You explained, “Stop by sometime, I’d love to show you around!” 

Bookstore. Muffins. Cookies. Tea. Pretty girl. Retirement wasn’t so bad afterall. “I’ll… I’ll make sure to visit soon.” 

He never did. 

But he did watch you from a distance ever since that day. It was weird at first, but then it became part of his normal. Knowing what time you were up and about upon noticing the smoke that came out of the chimney of your home – which was a beautiful, old, rustic, wood and stone house. He’d heard from one of the kind old men at the pub that the house belonged to your grandma before she passed. She left it to you in the will. 

Other older folks at the pub told him more about you. How you had no family members around. Some estranged siblings but they were out of the picture, and who knows where in the world. Your parents were not in the picture either. Some even said that your late grandmother had left you all her money, which was why your entire family envied you and shunned you out basically.

His heart broke a little when he heard that. Sweet girl like you deserved nothing less than a loving family. But you had friends. He often saw you out and about, at stores, at the diner or restaurants for brunch, at coffee shops, at the florist, always surrounded by a group of giggling women. 

Other details he found out on his own the more he spied on you. Like how you had your own little walled garden in your seemingly endless backyard, growing your own vegetables and herbs. 

He knew what time you left to go open up your store each morning because he would always hear you yell in a cheery voice, ‘Bye, House!’ whenever you stepped out of your metal gates. 

He knew that you often left out food for wild bunnies to come eat in your backyard. He knew exactly on which days of the week you went into the woods to get those edible flowers. He knew what time you got home, he knew all your favourite songs because you would play them often in your kitchen and his super soldier hearing would pick it up easily. 

He knew so much about you, yet so little. He wanted to know more, but he was always so nervous to step into your bookstore and talk to you. Or, on the rare occasions when he found himself at the grocery store at the same time as you, he’d get out of there so fast it was almost funny. 

He was well above a hundred years old, stronger than the average male on this planet, and yet his cute neighbour made him weaker than anything ever had. There was a time, lifetimes ago, when flirting with a pretty girl came naturally to him. But now… he was a different man. So he decided he’d only watch you from a distance. And yearn. And pine. And long for your attention. 

He thought he’d spend the rest of his days being tormented by the sound, the sight, and the mere thoughts of you. Always watching from far away, never being brave enough to reach out. 

But things changed that one day you reached out. 

Bucky was in his backyard, building himself a new shelf. He needed one for his kitchen. All those years, he’d survived in empty, temporary houses and apartments. But now, this was much more permanent and he wanted it to feel like home. So he needed things. Lots of things. Like furniture. But he hated shopping for them. So since he was surrounded by a seemingly endless forest, containing lots of wood he could use, he decided to make himself useful and build his own stuff. 

So far he’d built himself a couple of chairs, a coffee table, two bedside tables, and now he found himself in need of a nice shelf for his kitchen. So there he was, being a lumberjack for the day, when he heard his doorbell ringing. 

Bucky knew immediately who it must be. 

You. 

He dropped his axe, and tried to get all the sawdust off him while he marched towards his front door. His heart only skipping a beat or two as he opened his door and found you standing on the other side of it, looking as cheerful as ever. 

“Hello, neighbour.” You greeted him. Not wearing your pretty red coat this time he noticed. 

“Hey,” He said, sounding more stoic than he intended. 

You quickly explained why you were at his doorstep so late in the evening. Behind you, the sun was setting and it was getting rather dark. “The heater in my living room isn’t working well. I was wondering if you could come check it out for me.” 

Bucky wasted no time in saying, “Sure.” 

Then he followed you to your house. 

He had always admired your house’s exterior. The slate grey stone, the wooden accents, the large windows and their bright flowers in the window boxes. The low hedge that wrapped around your property, the wrought iron double gates, it was all so… out of a fairytale looking. Compared to his well hidden log home that blended so well with the environment that often you wouldn’t notice it. 

But as much as he liked the exterior, the interior of your home blew his mind. It was so… home-y. He could smell some sort of freshly baked goods. And it was heavenly. Everything inside your home was vintage looking. Every furniture, every trinket, every painting and sculpture that looked like they cost a fortune. 

Then he realised, this was your grandmother’s home. Of course everything in it was old. So he tried to find bits and pieces of you everywhere he looked. And he did. New books on the bookshelf near the entrance that looked like it was older than he was. New vinyls hanging on the wall amongst the old ones. Fresh flowers in old vases in your foyer. And there might be so much more but he couldn’t exactly be a creep and stare for too long. So he followed you as you led him to your living room. 

He would have admired your living room a little longer, but then even he could feel how much colder this room was compared to the rest of the house. So he got to work immediately, kneeling by the heater. He knew how to fix it, it was easy enough with his metal hand. But he also didn’t wanna be too quick. 

“So,” He cleared his throat while pretending to be busy with the old-fashioned heater, “Old man down the street told me you had no family in this town.” 

Yeah, real smooth Bucky. He cursed himself. 

“Yup!” You answered, like he asked you about the weather instead. 

Bucky looked up and found you sitting on your couch, legs crossed, like a spoiled little thing while he knelt on your floor fixing your heater for you. He wanted to know more, so he asked, “And is that by choice or…?” 

You sighed, then told Bucky the truth. “I am the youngest. My siblings and I never got along when we were kids. I spent years thinking surely something will change when we get older, but no.” It was a little sad talking about it, but nothing you couldn’t handle. “Then mom and dad separated and they each went their own way. Last I heard my father was onto his third wife, and my mother was backpacking around the world with some of her friends. All my siblings left home one by one. Then when I left for uni I made the decision to never go back to that empty house.” 

Bucky stopped pretending to work on the heater. He’d fixed it, so now he sat next to it, back against the wall as he watched you. He wanted to gather you in his arms and never let you go. 

“I would’ve figured something out.” You said, with a determined smile. “I always wanted to move to a small town, maybe even a coastal one. But then as I was finishing up my final year, I got a phone call one day. It was my grandma, and she was sick and needed assistance.” Another soft smile, this one sadder. “It felt like a sign. And it was the right thing to do. So I moved here. And lost contact with my family, there was complete radio silence even after grandma passed.” 

Bucky looked away for a moment, the thought of you going through all that alone was heartbreaking. But you were so brave. 

You continued, “So yeah, I’ve been on my own ever since. And I love this place, these people.” You looked right at him and added, “And handy neighbours who fix my heater.” 

Bucky smiled. “All fixed.” He grunted as he got up from the floor. 

“Thank you!” 

You walked Bucky to the front door, then just as he was about to step outside you called out, “Oh Bucky, wait! I almost forgot.” 

Bucky watched how you ran back inside, towards your kitchen and then ran back towards him with a little basket. 

“Here,” You handed him the basket filled with sweet smelling stuff. “I baked them this morning.” 

Bucky peeked and found a bunch of chocolate chip cookies. He looked back at you and found you smiling at him. He smiled back then rolled his eyes as he stepped out of your home, groaning, “Gonna make me fat with all your sweet stuff.” 

You giggled, leaning against your doorframe as Bucky stepped down the steps of your porch. “You can always work out more. You know, chop more wood in the mornings, or run by the lake more.” 

Bucky stopped on the last step and turned to face you. His heart beating a little faster as the realization sunk in. “You stalk me.” He sounded like he was teasing you. 

You smirked, “Don’t you? You think I don't know you follow me home almost everyday?” 

“Alright, fine.” Bucky rolled his eyes again. “But you stalk me too.” 

“You’re loud when you chop wood in the morning. It wakes me up early.” You argued, eyeing him up and down, shamelessly. Gods, he was a handsome man. Even more so with that tight long sleeved shirt and dark jeans. 

“I see.” He mumbled. “You like the early morning view?” He caught himself asking before he could think about it twice. What? He knew he looked good. He wanted to know if you appreciated the view. 

You gave him another sly smirk as you answered, “Very much.” 

He smiled at you. Then nodded and said, “Good night, neighbour. Thanks for the goodies.” 

“Good night, Bucky.” 

— 

The next morning, you woke up to the sound of light rain hitting your bedroom window, and the muffled repeated sound of an axe hitting wood. You smiled before you even opened your eyes. Waking up to the sound of rain was always delightful. But the sound of someone chopping wood had recently become your new favourite. 

Bucky. 

You pulled back the covers and quickly walked over to your bedroom window. You peeled back the curtains and found Bucky in his backyard. 

Shirtless. 

You froze. 

The sight of him there, wearing nothing but his usual jeans and boots, axe in his hands, the metal arm glistening almost as much as his damp, muscular chest. Fuck. He looked divine. His longish hair was damp as well, a few strands falling over his face, and the muscles in his arm and back flexing each time he brought the axe down. 

You were mesmerised by the sight of him there, with the dark woods as background. The light rain falling over him. And the blue of his eyes staring right at you– 

You gasped and quickly shut the curtains again when you realised he’d looked up and caught you staring at him. Your face felt hot as you hid behind the heavy curtains. Your heart raced a little faster and you felt like a little kid who got caught doing something you shouldn’t. Shit. 

Oh well. Whatever. He knew you watched him. 

So you peeled the curtains back again and found him smirking at you. He lifted his right hand, waving at you like any good neighbour would. You smiled and waved back, then forced yourself to look away from his gorgeous face and body, and get away from the window to get ready for your day ahead. 

That image of him chopping wood in the rain didn’t leave your head the entire morning. 

—

Bucky didn’t know what exactly made him do it. Maybe it was the interaction you two had had that morning. The heat in your eyes as you watched him, the way your lips parted just so slightly, and he was certain he could see how you were breathing heavily just looking at him. 

He’d been smiling to himself all morning when he thought about that brief interaction. The way you hid when he caught you was… cute. But you went away so quickly. He wanted to see you again, he wanted more. 

So perhaps that’s why he finally found himself walking into your cosy little bookstore. It was exactly what he was expecting it to be. Dark interior with dimmed lights. Spacious middle area with little reading nooks scattered all over the place. Dark, velvet couches and bright pillows. A tea and a coffee station right next to each other by the large window, and baskets filled with baked goods. Muffins and cookies. He could smell whatever fancy candles you must have burning somewhere.  

“Bucky!”

He turned around and found you smiling at him, a tiny book in your hand. He smiled back, and decided you were the prettiest thing he’d ever seen in his long life. Dressed in a simple black dress and dark red cardigan, you looked… even more delicious than all the things you baked. He was thankful there was no one in the store to witness how he checked you out shamelessly. 

“Hey,” He said, then looked around and commented, “Nice place.” 

“Thanks,” You walked up to him. 

Stopping right in front of him, close enough that he could smell your perfume and it was driving him insane. It was something citrus and feminine, reminding him of blood oranges, pomegranates, and delicate flowers. And it made him want to pull you closer. But he shoved his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket instead. 

“It was my grandma’s.” You explained, and he listened with interest. “She left me quite… a lot in the will so I don't really have to worry about my livelihood. Which I’m very grateful for. And even though it’s not great business, I decided to keep running the store just to keep her memory alive.” 

Bucky smiled again at how kind you truly were. “That’s nice of you.” 

You gave him another pretty smile. “I have some loyal customers, they come to buy books every few weeks. But most of all, people like to come here just to read. Or hang out. So I always have warm drinks and sweet treats ready.” Then you turned to him and asked politely, “What brings you here? I didn’t quite picture you as a guy who reads.” You teased. 

His voice was laced with sarcasm as he said, “And I didn't picture you as a woman who spies on her shirtless neighbours, but here you are.” 

He could tell that caught you off guard. Maybe you’d thought he would never bring it up. But, Bucky decided, it was fun to tease you. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” You replied, giving him that look he loved. The innocent one, with mischief hidden somewhere. 

“Oh yeah?” He stepped closer to you, just a little bit. “Did you forget I saw you this morning? Making eyes at me?” 

You scoffed, “Well, if you’re gonna put on a show…” 

“And how’d you like it? The show?” He asked, stepping closer again. And you took a step back this time, and you two danced this dance until he almost had you cornered between two shelves. 

You gasped dramatically, “Bucky barnes. Are you flirting with me?” Your back hit the shelf behind you. “Aren’t you, like, a hundred years old?” 

Bucky laughed as pinned you to the bookshelf. His metal hand coming up to grab onto the wood, caging you between him and the shelf as he slowly slid his leg in between yours. “Yeah, I am. What about it? It didn’t stop you from spying on me.” He noted the way you spread your legs to make room for his. “I know you want me.” He said, pressing his leg up in between yours. 

You gasped again. Then chuckled and said, “Don’t be inappropriate right in front of grandma’s portrait, you weirdo.” Then you gently hit him on the head with the tiny book you’d been holding. 

Bucky frowned then looked around, searching for the portrait. And it was right behind him. A large portrait of an old woman in a gilded frame, staring down at the two of you sternly. 

Sorry, grandma. 

He grabbed you and easily pulled you away, pinning you to the next closest bookshelf he found. His leg sliding in between yours again. “Now that grandma’s not watching,” He said, making you laugh. Fuck. He’d do anything to keep you laughing and happy like that. “Wanna tell me where I can be inappropriate then? Want me to take you out?” He asked, then couldn’t resist leaning in to kiss your neck, discreetly inhaling your perfume like it was the only thing he’d ever wanted to do. Suddenly he wanted your scent everywhere. On his clothes. In his truck. On his bedsheets and pillows. “Is that what you’d like?” He asked, pulling away to look into your eyes. “A date? Where I spend the entire evening waiting and figuring out if you’d let me kiss you or not?” 

“You won’t have to wait the entire evening.” You smirked at him. “I’d let you kiss me anytime.” 

Fuck. His heart skipped a beat. 

“Can I kiss you now?” 

“Yes.” You leaned in, sliding your hands around his neck to pull him closer. Bucky’s brain stopped working for a second or two as you kissed him. 

He melted into your kiss. His hands grabbed you at the waist to pull you closer as he deepened the kiss. Your hands slid into his hair and he held you tightly against him, pressed up against his firm body as his mouth moved perfectly against yours. His tongue slipped into your mouth, making you moan into the kiss as he slowly slipped his metal hand up your dress. 

You gasped at his cold touch. His lips left yours momentarily to kiss along your jaw, and down your neck, nibbling on your skin and inhaling your addicting scent, making you sigh in pleasure as his hand found its way past your underwear. 

“Can I touch you?” He mumbled into your ear, “Please say yes, baby. You’re killing me.” 

You couldn’t help but giggle, then whispered, “Yeah, you can touch me.” 

Bucky groaned as he moved your underwear aside and ran his knuckles along your wet slit, smearing your wetness around. He chuckled when he felt that you were just as wet and ready for him as he hoped you’d be. 

“See? You do want me.” 

You whined at the sound of his cocky voice. You couldn’t help but look down to see his hand moving gently against your body as he teased you, his metal hand sliding in and out from in between your legs, disappearing under your dress each time his fingers dove in to tease your clit. Fuck, just the sight of his hand sent pleasant shivers down your back. You also noticed the growing bulge in his pants. You bit your lip at the sight of it, then looked up at him. He was already staring at you. So you silently pleaded, begging for more. 

Bucky wanted more too. He pushed his two metal fingers inside you with ease and felt your warm walls immediately welcoming him in. He held your stare as he curled his fingers inside of you, hitting all the right spots which made you weak in the knees. You bucked your hips against his hand, still staring into his eyes, and he chuckled. “Does that feel good, baby?” 

You nodded, biting down on your lip to keep yourself from moaning. Because the store was empty, but anyone could walk in. They wouldn’t see you, but you didn’t want them to hear you either. 

“Yeah? You want more?” Bucky asked, his fingers moving in and out of you perfectly. “Want me to taste you? Can I do that?” He mumbled and kissed down your neck, biting and licking your skin around your collar bones. 

Meanwhile you lazily reached for him, palming him through his jeans and feeling his erection. You smirked to yourself as he grunted the moment you touched him. “All that for me?” You teased him. 

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh into the crook of your neck. “Now who’s being inappropriate?” 

You giggled, “You started this when–,” 

The sound of the tiny bell above the entrance of your store ringing cut you off. You both froze then immediately pulled away from each other. You fixed your clothes quickly and gave Bucky a smirk before you went back to the front and greeted your customer. 

Bucky couldn’t let himself be seen yet. Not until the raging hard on he had would calm down first. So he walked around, hiding behind bookshelves as he perused them. And once he was safe, he walked to the front and found you scanning some books before putting them in a bag for the customer – she was an old lady who lived near the lake. Bucky often saw her when he went for his frequent runs. 

Bucky grabbed a random book and sat down at one of the many reading nooks. It hid him enough that he could stare at you leisurely, without being caught by Old Lake Lady. He could tell you felt his eyes on you, because you’d send quick glances his way even as you engaged in a conversation with the old lady about her cats and dogs. 

Just minutes ago you were moaning in his ear with his fingers inside you, and here you were now, being nice and warm to a customer. 

Bucky had to hide his smirk, at least until the lady was gone. Soon she’d wrapped up her stories, paid for her books, and left, leaving you two alone again. Bucky got up from the couch and approached you. 

“Come over tonight,” He said. “I’ll make you dinner.” 

He watched how you seemed surprised. Then rolled his eyes when you asked, “You can cook?” 

He answered, proudly, “I’m over a hundred years old, you learn a thing or two when you’ve been alive that long.” A pause, then he added, “Plus recipe books help too.” 

You laughed. “Okay, see you tonight then.” 

“See you.” 

Bucky left you with a wink. 

— 

When you got home that evening, you took over an hour to get ready for dinner. You caught yourself smiling a lot just thinking of Bucky and how he touched you earlier… 

You sighed, impatient to see him again. But you didn’t want to seem too eager and show up at his house too early so you found something to keep you busy until it was a reasonable time to knock on his door. Plus, you wanted to bring him something nice so you ended up gathering flowers from your yard and made him a little bouquet. 

It ended up being a pastel coloured bunch of flowers, pinks and lilacs with some white here and there. You decided it was cute enough for a first date. Was it even a date? Or was it just a casual dinner? 

Before you could overthink yourself to death and find a way to get out of this, you grabbed a light cardigan and walked over to Bucky’s house. 

Bucky answered after your very first knock. Almost too quickly. 

You couldn’t help but tease him about it. “You were waiting by the door, weren’t you?” 

“No.” He argued, “I’m just really quick to get the door. Don’t like to keep my guests waiting.” 

“Sure,” You smirked as you walked into his home. Bucky shut the door behind you and turned to face you. “Here,” You handed him the bunch of flowers, “I picked them myself.” 

You expected him to make some sassy comment, but he didn’t. “I’ve never been given flowers before.” He said, looking down at them. And you felt really proud. “Are they edible too?” 

You laughed as you followed him further in. “No, they’re not. But they will bring some life and colour to your home.” 

Bucky chuckled as he grabbed a vase and filled it with water to put the flowers in. “Are you saying my house looks lifeless and dark?” 

“No,” You took a seat at the kitchen island table, and watched him as he placed the flower stems one by one into the vase. “I’m just saying it needs some colour. But I love the sombre and broody vibe you went for. It’s very… retired superhero-esque.” 

And it was indeed. Dark floors, dark furniture. It was spacious and luxurious, with minimal furniture. You didn’t know if the minimalism was intentional or not. But either way, it suited Bucky. The large windows made up for the empty spaces. It allowed a lot of the outside in. Especially the rich, dark woods. 

He gave you a playful glare before he grabbed two wine glasses and asked you, “You like red or white?” 

“Red, please.” 

He handed you a glass of red, clinked your glasses together then went back to the stove. “You’re welcome to snoop if you want.” He said, then heard you get off the stool at the island table and heard your footsteps walking around. 

Bucky’s house was much closer to the woods than yours, and sometimes it felt like his house – much like him – preferred to blend in with the surroundings rather than stand out. 

The kitchen was your favourite part so far. It was like a glass prism. No walls, but the woods hid it well from the other neighbours. And right now, as the sun set and the sky turned pinkish orange, it flooded the entire kitchen with those same colours. 

Bucky let you snoop, and turned to the stove where he was concocting something that smelt divine. He glanced at you now and then, and noted the way you took in his home. The ground floor had an open concept look. So you could see the living room, the foyer, the large staircase – which led to the upper level where all the bedrooms and bathrooms were, the small conservatory, all could be seen from the kitchen. 

He was rather proud of his home. But you weren’t saying anything yet. Did you not like it? Bucky wondered silently as he flipped the veggies he’d been grilling. “You like it?” He couldn’t help but ask. 

“I do!” 

Bucky looked up and found you in the middle of his dimly lit living room. You did a slow, mindless twirl as you took in all the random art he had mounted on his walls. Bucky was mesmerised. You, there, in that pretty dress – it messed with his head in the best way. 

“What made you move here?” 

Your question caught him off guard. He knew why he moved here, but he didn’t know if he could put it into words in a coherent way. But he did his best. Dinner was done, so he spoke as he plated everything. 

“I had been thinking about retiring for years now.” He sighed. “I didn't wanna lose myself. Again. Or have to watch my friends die. Again.” He let out a sad chuckle. “You'd think I would be immune to losing people by now. But it hurts the same every time. Plus going on a mission and not knowing if everyone would make it back… It messes with your head.” He said. “So I decided to leave. I was worried it would make me seem like a coward. But then I realised, I shouldn’t care.” 

He heard you coming back into the kitchen. 

“Plus, it's hard to blend in when you’re me, you know?” He could see you in his periphery, getting closer to where he was. “After years of being who I was, and doing what I did, there’s not many places where I could go that would feel normal.” 

Without saying a word, Bucky watched how you placed your glass down and came over to help him plate everything onto two dinner plates. He gave you a faint smile then continued, while the two of you moved around his kitchen gracefully. As if this was a daily thing. 

“Then one day I decided to leave that life. But I still didn’t have a place to call home so I drove around, traveled and tried to find somewhere that was calm, and welcoming. Somewhere I could just be me, and not… what I was.” He paused, remembering the day he first came to this town. “I happened to be driving through here one day, and the weather got really bad. The rain was horrendous and the people I met at the pub told me it was dangerous to continue driving in a weather like that.” He chuckled at the memory, “And I told them, I’ve been out on missions in worse weather. Rain or sleet was nothing, I’ve been out during hurricanes and snowstorms.” 

Your heart hurt for a moment, thinking about Bucky having to brave all sorts of storms. 

Bucky continued, “Then, one of the old guys at the pub grabbed me by the shoulders and said ‘Well, you don’t have to be out in storms anymore’ and he offered me a place to stay for the night. And when I woke up the next day, I realised that no one cared about who I was or what I had done in the past. They were just kind and welcoming to me like I was a regular guy.” He looked up at you, smiled and said, “So I bought the land and the house here and stayed.” 

You smiled back at him. “And that’s why you’re friends with all the old guys at the pub.” 

“Yeah,” He added, smiling, “Although I am older than all of them.” 

You laughed, and watched him as he placed the plates down. Once his hands were free, you grabbed one of them and squeezed it tight in your grip until he looked at you. His hand was warm in yours. And you decided that you liked holding his hand. You wanted to do it more often.

“You did the right thing by choosing your peace, Bucky.” You said, looking into his pretty eyes. “It's not selfish nor cowardly to want to keep yourself safe. To put yourself first. You helped save this world so many times. You deserve this break. I hope you know that.” 

Bucky smiled and brought your intertwined hands up to his lips. Kissing your knuckles, he whispered, “Thank you.” 

He looked so sincere and adorable, you almost pulled him in for a kiss right there and then. But instead you calmed yourself down and admired the beautiful man in front of you. His longish hair was nice and dry this time, and looked like he’d run his fingers through it many times. And he was wearing a white button up shirt too, something you just now noticed, with the sleeves rolled up till his elbows. The metal arm glistened in the golden light of the sunset. 

Gods, he was beautiful. Who could ever be mean to this man? 

To bring you both back to that playful mood you said, “Well, neighbour. I was promised dinner. And I’m kinda hungry.” 

Bucky laughed and gently let go of your hand. He asked you if you wanted to dine in the conservatory, but you said the island table in the kitchen was fine. Plus, the view of the sky, the woods, and the mountains all at once was to die for. 

“I think I’m in love with your house.” You said at some point during dinner, holding back moans because Bucky’s cooking was amazing. 

He gave you a playful look as he sipped on his wine and replied, “Come visit anytime.” 

“Maybe I will.” 

“Maybe you should.” 

You teased, “You just want me to bring you muffins and cookies, don’t you?” 

Bucky laughed and said, “I’m having to work out twice as much ever since you started feeding me those sugary stuff. Gotta stay fit if I want you to keep looking at me like that.” 

Your face felt hot when he said that. Okay, so maybe you were not being subtle when looking at him. Oh, god forbid a girl checks out her hot neighbour. You quickly changed the topic after that, not wanting him to know just how much his words and deep voice was affecting you. 

You two talked about life in the small town, about the places you’d travelled to before moving here, Bucky made you laugh with his ridiculous stories about how people tend to come knocking on his door whenever they need help with moving stuff. Or how people in the neighbourhood just assumed he liked chopping wood so much they just pulled up in their own trucks to pick up some or they called him and asked him to deliver logs to their houses. 

“Thankfully I have the truck,” He said, chuckling, “Otherwise I think I’d be seen carrying logs around on my shoulders for delivery.” 

You giggled at the thought of him doing that. Then you realised, “I didn’t know you had a truck. I guess I’ve only ever seen you out on walks.” 

He nodded, refilling your wine glass. “Yeah I don’t use it a lot though, I just drive up the mountains sometimes when I want to be alone. Plus the view from up there is insane.” Then he paused, thinking, and said, “I’ll take you up there, on a drive someday. If you want.” 

“I’d love that.” You said, smiling from behind your wine glass. 

–

After dinner you offered to help clean up, but Bucky politely refused. “Carry on snooping,” He said, “I’ll just load the dishwasher and come join you.” He refilled your wine glass one more time and sent you off. 

You didn’t put up a fight, you wanted to see more of his home. So a short walk later, you found yourself in the large, circular conservatory. There were some couches about, a small dining table for four, and some plants and rugs. It was so cosy, it reminded you of your store. Minus the colours, because everything in here was dark green, or grey, or dark brown. But you didn’t mind it. 

You admired Bucky’s backyard, which blended into the woods. You saw the chopping block where he chopped wood almost every morning. And you could see your house from here, part of it at least. Especially your bedroom window. 

“That’s a pretty dress. I’m sorry I didn't say it earlier.” Bucky said as he walked into the conservatory as well, his own wine glass in hand. 

And you were certain it wasn't just the wine that made your blood rush. You gave him a little twirl which made him chuckle. “Thanks,” You said, facing him once again. “I wore it just for you.” It was true. You had chosen the dark blue dress only because the moment you saw it in your closet, it reminded you of Bucky’s eyes. 

“Yeah?” He held your stare as he made his way over to you, placing his glass down on the small dining table on the way. He stopped right in front of you, letting his eyes roam all over you before he said, “Will you take it off for me as well?” 

The wine gave you manic confidence, so you grabbed him by the waist and pulled him into you. “Is that what you want?” 

Bucky’s eyes were intense as he stared at you. You finished your wine and set your glass down. 

“I do.” Bucky said. 

You spoke in a cocky tone, “Then why do I have to do all the work?” 

He chuckled, “Come here then.” He pinned you to the nearest surface, the cold glass door of the conservatory which led to the backyard. He knew it was locked so he didn’t have to worry. “Let’s finish what we started earlier, yeah?” 

He leaned closer, chest pressing against yours leaving no space in between. He waited for a moment, silently asking if this was okay. And upon seeing you wanted this as much as he did, Bucky leaned in for a kiss. A proper one, a hungry one. 

His rough facial hair scratched your skin, his teeth nibbled and bit your lips. His hands roaming all over your body before he slid the straps of your dress down your arms, letting your dress bunch around your waist. Your dress didn’t require a bra so you were half naked in front of him in no time. 

He kissed you ravenously, pulling you closer. Pouring everything he felt into the kiss. Desire, warmth, longing, lust. He couldn’t get enough. 

“Bucky…” You gasped against his lips, you couldn’t wait any longer, “I want you.” Breathing fast, you tried to pull him closer, but this time he wouldn’t budge. 

“Turn around,” He mumbled softly, pulling away a little to give you room to turn. He’d thought he would take his time and maybe get up to his bedroom and make sweet love to you. But fuck, the sight of you in that pretty dress was driving him insane. Again. He couldn’t wait. 

You turned, facing the glass door and waited. The sky above was yet to turn black completely. It was that pretty dark blue colour. And the stars were starting to show. And everything was perfect. You brought your hands up to your chest, not wanting to press your bare body to the cold glass. 

But Bucky didn’t like that. He pressed against your back. Your bare skin against the cool fabric of his shirt. He grabbed your wrists in his metal hand and pinned them above your head, stretching your torso in a way that had you whining already, and he had barely touched you yet. He whispered into your ear, “Keep them there for me.” So gently, his deep voice made you tremble. 

You nodded, then he shoved his warm hand in between your legs and touched you where you desperately wanted him to. Where you needed him since earlier today. You whined and trembled, your bare chest pressing against the cool glass when he slid a finger in, fucking you with it while he whispered into your ear, “You’re so wet for me. Have you been like that all throughout dinner? Hmm?” He cooed. “While you sat across from me, looking all sweet and nice, were you just dripping for me all along?” 

Fuck. Who knew he had such a foul mouth? 

“Bucky,” You whimpered, “Please.” 

He chuckled, his finger moving in and out of you in a way that made you move your hips, demanding more but he wouldn’t give it to you yet. “Aww, baby. Poor you.” His deep voice made his chest rumble against your back. “I should punish you for not telling me about this little situation earlier.” 

Your dress was hanging on to your body around your waist, Being half naked while he was still fully dressed made this even dirtier. You were moaning by now, thanking all the gods that Bucky didn’t have any other neighbours. 

“Tell me.” He demanded, sliding another finger inside you and making your body squirm and grind against him. “How long have you been this wet, baby?” 

“Oh damn you.” You were embarrassingly wet at this point, and the sounds your body made as he finger-fucked you were lewd. But you couldn’t get enough. “Ever since we were interrupted at the store earlier today.” 

His lips brushed against the back of your neck as he spoke. “You’ve been thinking about me all day then? Huh? Have you been thinking about what could’ve happened if we weren’t interrupted earlier? About how I would’ve fucked you nice and hard against that bookshelf? Hmm?” 

“Yes…” You whimpered as he kept fucking you with his fingers even as you came, trembling against him. His fingers slid in and out of you with ease now. “I thought about you, about us, all day.” You whispered quietly, your warm breath fogging up the cold glass in front of you. 

He didn’t care that you came already. He wanted more. So he reached deeper inside you, curling his fingers just enough to make you mutter incoherent things. 

“And what did you do? Did you touch yourself after I left? Or did you rush home and take care of it?” He asked, “Or did you wait till now?” 

“Please…” You begged. “I waited, I promise.” 

“Oh?” He chuckled, slowing down his movements purposely. “You waited, huh?” He playfully bit on your exposed shoulder. 

“Yes…” You whined. “I did. Cause I wanted you to touch me and make me feel good. Please, Bucky, make it feel good.” 

“Oh baby,” He whispered, kissing around your ear, along your jaw. “I’ve got you.

Bucky pulled away for a brief moment. You couldn’t see him, but you could hear him undoing his trousers. And moments later, he was rubbing the tip of his cock against your wet folds. You shivered in pleasure.

“Yes…” You panted. 

“I’m gonna make it feel good, okay?” He mumbled into your ear as he pushed his cock into you, making you cry out loud as he stretched you out. 

It had been a while since you got laid. So Bucky felt huge inside you. You moaned as his fingers found your clit again, rubbing it in sync with his thrusts. His metal hand left your wrists and came down to grab you by the waist, holding you against him as he sped up into you, fucking you just like how you hoped he would. Fast. Deep. Hungrily. 

He dipped his head into the crook of your neck and licked, and bit on your skin as he fucked into you relentlessly, earning more and more moans out of you each time his cock stroked your walls. “You feel so fucking good, you know that? My pretty girl…” 

You moaned quietly, shamelessly, your body slamming into the glass with each one of his thrusts, and fuck if it didn’t turn you on more. 

“Tight little thing, aren’t you? Gripping me like you’re never gonna let go,” He chuckled in that cocky way you loved. “I’m right here, baby. I’ve got you now.” He moaned against your ear and the sound sent shivers down your back. “Whenever you want me to make you feel good, I’ll do it. You hear me? I’ll take care of you, don’t you worry.” 

You nodded, your legs starting to shake as he quickened his pace, pounding into you mercilessly. His fingers still teasing your clit and making you lose your mind. 

“Bucky–,” You choked on your words as you came undone, walls clenching around him, and a loud moan erupting from your mouth as he made you come hard. It was almost blinding. 

His thrusts became irregular as he came right after you did, cock throbbing against your pulsating walls, moaning out loud when he felt your walls pulsating violently around him. “Fuck, baby,” He came while biting down on your shoulder.

You leaned against the glass door, limp and satiated. You had to blink a couple times to come back from that high. The glass was completely fogged up in front of your face as you pulled away to breathe deeply. 

Bucky held you gently. Wrapping his arms around you, his cock still inside you, throbbing. “You okay?” 

You giggled, leaning your head back to rest against his shoulder. “I’m okay.” You replied. “You?” 

“Yeah. Perfect.” A pause, then he said. “I gotta buy some condoms if we’re gonna do this often. I wasn’t exactly planning on–,” He hesitated. “You know…” 

You giggled again. “Yeah I know. Me neither.” 

Then you both laughed and Bucky helped you clean up as best he could before he walked you back to your house. You kissed him goodnight, and he said he hoped to see you soon. You exchanged numbers and then pulled him in for another kiss before he left. 

—

The following day Bucky dropped by the store and saw that it was packed. Of course, you’d told him over text that Fridays tend to get a little busy. Teens come over to get homework done after school. Some people came to get books for the weekend. Others just came to talk to you and ask about your week. The younger kids dropped by after school for snacks because they knew they’d miss it given you didn’t open during weekends. 

So Bucky only had a minute or two to say hi and give you a gentle kiss on the cheek. 

“Can I see you tonight? If you don’t have plans?” He asked. 

You seemed sad when you replied, “I’m pet-sitting for someone tonight. And I’m going over to a friend's house for dinner on Saturday night. Can we meet on Sunday?” 

He grumpily agreed. Because what did you mean he had to wait for two nights to see you again? 

He tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep on Friday night. So he ended up texting you: 

Saturday night was no different. He couldn’t sleep. But he didn’t want to text you again and seem desperate. Even though he was very much desperate. And he was pleasantly surprised when he received a text from you: 

Needless to say, when you showed up at his house in the morning, all other plans went out the window because after breakfast, the two of you spent almost the whole day in Bucky’s bedroom. 

— 

And so, weeks passed. 

You and Bucky got more and more involved in each other’s lives. Taking turns sleeping over at each other’s house. You weren’t putting a label on it. Yet. But it was solid, whatever you two had. And it was comforting and warm. Knowing you had someone else to rely on, a shoulder to lean on after a long day, knowing you could just walk over to the house next door whenever you wanted company was nice. 

Bucky came over to yours a lot. Randomly. Sometimes he’d come over and help you with your garden, or keep you company as you fed the birds and the wild rabbits, or helped you whenever you made dinner for the two of you. It was… peaceful, the budding romance. 

You began joining Bucky on his daily evening walks. Usually, he’d come by your store at around closing time, and he’d wait till you closed and locked the place, then you would both take the long way home. People in the neighbourhood began noticing, and when the older ladies would visit your store they’d tease you about it, singing all sorts of praises about how much of a good guy Bucky was, and how helpful. 

Bucky mentioned that the old guys at the pub would tease him about it too. Telling him how lucky he was that he found such a sweet, kind, and pretty girl. 

“I am, you know?” He said to you one night, over the phone. 

“What?” You asked, holding the phone between your shoulder and your ear as you were tidying up your study room, finally deciding to put it to use. You wanted to turn it into your at home library. Make it nice and cosy like those reading nooks you’d set up at the store. 

“Lucky,” He answered. “To have you.” 

His reply made you pause in the middle of your slightly messy study room. 

Bucky continued, “When I decided to leave everything and move here, I knew the people around here were friendly and kind. But I had given up all hope I had of finding, you know, my person.” 

You smiled to yourself, feeling a little sad thinking about Bucky and how he thought he’d have to spend the rest of his days all alone here. You wanted to tell him you felt the same. You wanted to tell him that you’d given up on dating as well, after uni. You liked the people in this town, and you’d been on a few dates since you moved here. But you were always so busy taking care of your grandmother that you could never quite commit. And then after she passed you were not emotionally stable, especially given your family didn’t even reach out to ask you how you were doing and how you were dealing with everything. So you kind of just… gave up as well. 

And then you met Bucky. 

“And then I met you.” His voice was steady, firm as he repeated your thoughts. 

“Oh Buck,” You sighed. “Why don’t you come over? You’ve got me all emotional now.” 

Bucky chuckled. “You just want me to come over so we can fuck, don’t you?” 

You laughed. “No,” You argued, “I actually need you for something.” You said, looking around trying to find something, an excuse to use to you can get him to come over. You didn’t know what it was, but the vulnerability in his tone made you want to wrap your arms around him and keep him safe from the rest of the world. And now, you just needed to see him. Plus, you didn’t want him to be alone. Not after what he just told you. Besides, you had to tell him you felt the same and you didn’t wanna do that over the phone. “I have a huge bookshelf I need to move. Can you come help?” You lied. The bookshelf was perfect where it was. 

Bucky let out a dramatic sigh, “Fine. I knew it, you just want me around because I’m handy.” 

You laughed as you hung up the phone. 

Less than a minute later, Bucky was up in your study, lugging around your bookshelf as you instructed him where to place it. And after a few more minutes of deciding, you settled on having the bookshelf exactly where it initially was. 

Bucky gave you a confused look that had you giggling as he placed the shelf back down to where it was. “Well this was a waste of time.” He mumbled. 

“Maybe,” You teased, sitting down on the edge of the nearby desk. “Or maybe I just wanted to see you flexing those muscles.” You were only partially lying. Because he did look good in that extra tight black t-shirt. His silver chain caught the light the same way his metal arm did. “Come here.” You extended out your arms for him to walk into. 

And he did, sighing dramatically and mumbling something about how he was right about you only wanting him for his incredibly amazing body. But he did walk into your arms. And smiled down at you as you wrapped your arms around him. 

“You know, I didn’t ask you to come here for the bookshelf.” 

He smirked, “I know.” A pause, then he said, “Did what I said earlier scare you? Did you call me here to dump me?” He asked, raising his eyebrow and glaring at you in that playful manner of his. 

You laughed. “I could never dump you.” You leaned forward and pressed your forehead to his chest, inhaling his masculine scent and said, “I wanted to tell you that I had given up as well. But, things have changed ever since I met you too.” You finally looked up and met his eyes. Bucky’s ocean blue ones were focused on you as you finally confessed, “And I really like you, Bucky.” 

His face softened as he looked down at you. Then he lowered his face, placing his palms on the surface of the desk till he was face to face with you. And he said, “I really like you too.” He leaned in for a sweet, deep kiss. 

You slid your fingers into his hair and he smiled into the kiss when he felt you tugging on his hair. He grabbed you by the thighs and pulled you closer as he stepped in between your legs. 

Bucky pulled away just a little, keeping his lips pressed against the side of your mouth as he said, “But you know, as much as I like you, I can’t be going around doing manual labour for free.” His hands massaged your thighs in a way that had you whimpering for him already. “So, what will you give me?” 

You smiled, running your hands all over his muscular shoulders and chest. “I made fresh cookies this morning.” 

He chuckled. “Not enough.” He pulled away to look at you, “Nowhere near enough.” 

“Well,” You held his stare and asked, “What do you want then?” You gently reached down, wrapped your fingers around his wrist and guided it in between your legs. “You want that?” 

“Yeah.” Bucky immediately cupped your clothed core. Possessively. 

“You can have that.” You said, breathlessly. 

He groaned. “You’re gonna be the death of me, baby.” He shook his head, “Take all that off then, let me see what you’re offering.” 

You smirked, holding his stare as you lifted your dress up and removed your underwear before sitting on the edge of the desk again, spreading your legs so he could just look at you down there.  

Bucky placed his hands on your thighs again, spread them further apart, and took his time inspecting your wet folds. He mindlessly dragged a metal finger up and down your slit, making you shiver and moan as he touched you but barely. 

His eyes trailed up to your tits, and his other hand reached up to pinch a clothed nipple, making you yelp. “Ow!” You frowned at him. 

“What?” He chuckled, “You’re all mine. I’m allowed to play with you.” 

“That hurt.” 

He smirked. “I know it did.” He held your stare as he got down on his knees so his mouth was mere inches away from your clit. “Now, keep your legs spread for me. Just like this. Open for me. Okay?” 

You nodded, looking down in between your legs as he leaned in and pressed his mouth shamelessly to your wetness. 

His tongue, his lips, the gentle suction of his warm mouth – it was all too much, too good. He moved his head side to side, his coarse stubble brushing against your soft inner thighs. You whined and trembled, trying to keep your voice down as he made you lose your mind by eating you out like a starved man. 

“All mine, yeah?” He whispered, looking up at you with his mouth just barely hovering above your clit. “My girl.” He smiled, then got back to it, the lower half of his face was completely submerged in your wet cunt. 

Your fingers slid into his hair again, gently guiding him as he made it feel so good it almost hurt. 

You came with a yelp and a moan, riding his face and tugging on his hair. 

Bucky smiled as he pulled away and stood back up. “You taste so good, baby. Thank you.” 

You couldn’t take your eyes off his damp lips. “I should be thanking you.” You said quietly. 

“No,” He argued, licking his lips then added, “That was selfishly all for me.” 

You chuckled, then pulled him in for a kiss. 

How did you get so lucky? 

— 

Eventually, Bucky ended up taking you up the mountains in his truck. His large, all black Ford Raptor was nice and clean, it smelled like new leather and it was comfortable too. 

While driving up, Bucky kept his hand on your thigh, and you couldn’t help but feel giddy each time you looked down to see him mindlessly caressing your thigh. Then you’d look up and find him driving with just one hand, and that simple act was so hot for no reason. 

Easy, tiger. 

You managed to keep your hands to yourself the entire drive up. 

Bucky came to a stop at a well-known spot. People often drove here to look at the view. And it was so worth it. You could see everything from here. The woods, the lake, the houses and the lights coming on in the streets given that the sun was starting to set now. You could spot your house and Bucky’s as well. 

The woods up here were extra dense so it was darker than everywhere else, and the sky was quickly changing colours. From pink to orange, to a darker blue right before your eyes. But none of it compared to the man beside you who was rambling about how nice it was that you baked muffins especially for this little date. 

“I’m dying to have some of–,”

You cut him off by grabbing his face and kissing him. Bucky was surprised but quickly went along, kissing you back with almost just as much hunger. “Make some room for me.” You mumbled in between kisses. “I hope you have condoms in your truck. Please say you do.” 

Bucky understood immediately, and pushed his seat back just enough to allow you to move from the passenger side to his lap, straddling him. He smiled into the kiss as he slowly trailed his hands downwards till they rested at the curve of your butt. “I did bring some.” 

“Perfect.” You could feel his warmth on your skin even through the material of the skirt you’d chosen to wear for this date, and it made your heart race even more. “I need you so badly. Can I have you? Please?” You asked, placing your forehead against his. 

Bucky pulled you even closer, kissing down your chin as he said, “You can have whatever you want, baby.” 

You sighed in bliss as he kissed down your neck, playfully biting and nibbling on your skin. 

Bucky pulled away to look at you, “By the way, you’re not subtle. I saw you squirming in your seat the whole way here.” He whispered in that cocky tone of his, one of his hands slipping under your shirt, gently caressing your skin. “You know when you want me you can just ask, right? You don’t have to wait. I will pull over for a quickie anytime.” 

You chuckled, nuzzling his cheek as you said, “I don’t wanna seem like all I think about when I’m with you is how good you fuck me.” 

“Fuck.” He groaned, gripping your thighs tighter. “Who knew such a sweet girl had such a filthy mouth, huh?” 

You leaned in to kiss him again, and both of his hands found their way under your shirt, pulling at the hem. You giggled into the kiss before pulling away to get rid of your top. You threw it somewhere in the backseat before leaning in to kiss Bucky again. Your hands slid into his hair, his hands inched up your back to undo the clasp of your bra. You quickly got rid of that as well, baring your breasts to him. 

He wasted no time before leaning in and taking one of your nipples into his warm mouth. He moaned, mouth wrapped around one of your tits as he sucked gently. Your back arched, giggling and gasping as he teased you. You found your hips moving against his, grinding against him. 

You gasped as he sucked hungrily on your skin, moving up to your collar bones, down to your breasts and back up. Bucky chuckled when you tugged on his hair, getting more and more impatient and needy. Oh, he loved you in moods like these. 

“Stop fucking teasing me.” You whispered, grounding your hips against his jeans. 

He smirked, looking down to where your skirt had inched up your legs, revealing your thighs even more, “Yeah? Well, you’re my girl. I’ll do whatever I want with you.” He leaned in for a proper kiss. “To you. I’ll tease you for hours if I want to.” 

You playfully bit his lip, making him hiss in pain before he chuckled against your mouth. “Stop wasting time please, I want to fuck you.” 

He laughed, pushing his face against your bare chest and kissing the soft skin between your breasts. “You’ve turned into a little monster, you know that? 

You let out a little laugh, “Oh shut up. You made me like this.” 

Bucky raised his eyebrows at you, smirking like the cocky little shit he was. “I know.” 

You grabbed him by the chin and said, “No more teasing.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” He smiled, leaning in to kiss your neck again. “You smell so fucking good. I could just eat you up.” He whispered against your skin as his hands slipped under your skirt, his thumbs caressing your inner thighs – making you gasp and whimper quietly as his fingers teased you in between your legs through your underwear. “Too bad we don’t have enough room for me to taste you right now. Later though, okay? When we get home.” 

“Bucky…” You whined as he leaned down to suck on your tits again, more greedy than earlier as he toyed with your wet folds and clit at the same time 

Your impatient hands were at the zipper of his pants in no time. 

He finally looked up and gave you a lazy smile, eyes hooded with lust. “Go on, baby. Take it out, it’s all yours.” His voice was suddenly deeper than earlier. Bucky reached for the condom and handed it to you. He fucking loved how you tore it open and put it on him each time. “Good job, baby.” He said, once you were done. 

His voice made you shiver. And only then did you realise that there was a light drizzle outside, which made the air even colder, making you crave his body heat even more. Making this even hotter. 

You lifted off of his lap at the same time as you both lowered his pants and underwear to free his erected cock. Bucky groaned impatiently as he grabbed your hips, pulled your thin underwear to the side and aligned his cock to your entrance before gently lowering you down on him. 

You moaned as you slid down his thick cock, his stare burning on your face as he thrust up into you, all the way in. “Fuck,” He swore, then leaned in to give you a wet, messy kiss. “You okay, baby? You need a moment?” 

You shook your head, no you didn’t need a moment. What you needed was more of him. “Just… move, please, you feel so good.” You whispered, kissing down his rough cheek as he obeyed, and moved, knowing exactly how you liked it. 

You whined as he grabbed your hips and guided you up and down his cock, stretching you out in the process. You held onto his shoulders as you rode his cock, bouncing on it while you moaned for him, bending a little forward so as to not hit the roof of the truck too hard. 

“Fuck…,” You felt him fill you up nicely each time, the pressure in between your legs getting hotter and hotter. “You feel so fucking good.” 

Bucky threw his head back against the headrest, watching you with lust-drunk eyes. He let out a strained moan, as he thrust into you over and over again, while also bringing you down on his cock each time with enough force to make your tits bounce. “You’re fucking beautiful. Can’t believe you’re all mine.” 

“All yours.” You said, unable to hold back your moans when he placed his thumb over your clit and rubbed it gently, in time with his thrusts. You forced yourself to look into his eyes, and the feral look in them only made you clench harder around him. 

You bit your lower lip as he thrust his hips up harder into you, your eyes rolled back and you moaned out his name as you came so close to coming undone for him. “Bucky…” 

“You’re gonna come for me?” He asked, “You’re gonna come all over my cock, huh?” 

You answered after a loud whimper, “Yes… please, can I come?” 

He cupped your cheek and traced your mouth with his thumb, “Go on, baby. Come all over my cock. Come for me…” Your walls clenched violently around his cock. You came hard, whimpering and crying for him and gasping for breath. 

Bucky came right after you, his warm load spilling in the condom as he wrapped his arms around you and held you like you were the most precious thing in the world. Like he hadn’t just fucked you like an animal. 

You caught your breath, wrapped in Bucky’s arms. Your head rested on his shoulder as you tried to calm your racing heart. “You’re right,” You said, while catching your breath, “This feels like a real date.” 

He laughed and kissed you on the forehead. 

And there you stayed, in his arms as you two watched the sun set and watched how the town lit up. 

— 

More time passed. Bucky officially asked you to be his girlfriend by showing up at the store early one morning, after you two had spent the weekend apart yet again. And he came with flowers, a look on his face which stated that he hadn’t slept well. 

“Oh Buck…” You pulled him into your arms the moment you saw those sleepy, tired eyes. “What happened to you?” 

He mumbled, his voice low and tired as well. “Can’t sleep when you’re not there.” 

“Aww, baby.” You kissed his gorgeous face, then noticed the flowers in his hand. “For me?” 

He nodded, handing them to you. “Please let me be your boyfriend. I can’t do this no label thing anymore. I won’t tie you down or anything, but I…” He struggled to find the right words, “I just wanna be able to sleep knowing you’ll come back to me again each time you leave, or spend the weekend away.” 

You felt like tearing up and laughing at the same time. So you accepted the flowers and kissed him instead. “I’ll always come back to you.” You promised. “And yes, you can be my boyfriend.” You kissed him again. “It’s a good thing I’m not close to my parents anymore. How would I explain having a century-old boyfriend?” 

He didn’t find that funny, so he chased you around the store until he finally cornered you against one of the shelves – well away from your grandma’s portrait – and kissed you until you were breathless. 

—

One evening, Bucky got a call. It was you. 

So he answered with a smile. “Hi baby. What is it this time?” He teased. “You need me to move another piece of furniture? Or are you calling again to ask if you can come watch me run shirtless around the lake? If so, I’m sorry to disappoint you but I’m not planning on going for a run today.” 

He frowned when all he heard was silence on your side. Silence, and a shaky breath. 

“Baby?” 

“Uh, Buck?” That shaky, scared tone of your voice wiped the smile right off his face. 

“What is it?” He asked, already panicking and looking for the keys of his truck, in case he needed to come get you from somewhere. You had told him you’d be out running errands earlier. “Where are you? What is it? Are you okay?” 

His heart raced thinking about all the times he’d hear silence on the comms when he was out on missions. The silence was like all those terrible memories come back, flooding his brain again. And he couldn’t help but imagine the worst possible scenarios. 

His voice was close to cracking as he asked, in a panicked tone, “Baby, please tell me you’re okay.” 

He heard a sniffle, and his heart almost dropped. You were not okay. His blood rushed, his heart beat faster than normal. 

“Bucky,” Your voice sounded broken, “This is so stupid,” You sounded disappointed in yourself. “I, um, I came deeper into the woods to get those purple edible flowers but um, I think I’m lost?” 

His heart sank. His blood froze. Fuck.

Another sniffle. Your voice cracked as you spoke, “I’ve been walking around in circles and I can’t…” Another shaky exhale, “I can’t get out. It’s been hours. It’s starting to get really dark, Bucky. Please–,” The call ended abruptly. 

When he tried calling you back, he couldn’t reach you. Something to do with network issues. 

Bucky felt like his world was crumbling down all over again. Like he was gonna lose another person dear to him. For a moment, he remained frozen in the middle of his house. His mind taking him back to those brutal days of missions and death and darkness he thought he’d walked away from. 

No, no, no. 

This wasn’t a mission. He reminded himself. He would get you back, he would get you back safe and sound. 

“Just please be okay, baby. Please.” He whispered under his breath as he took off running, through his backyard and into the woods. He ran in the direction of where he knew you had the habit of plucking those flowers. He didn’t care that it was starting to drizzle and all he was wearing was a t-shirt. 

It was starting to get dark, and he only had a few hours to get to you before it got completely dark out. Fuck, he didn’t even bring a light with him. 

“I’m coming, baby.” He mumbled under his breath as he ran deeper into the woods. “Don’t you worry.” 

He called out your name multiple times while he ran, stopping every few minutes to listen if you answered his calls. Or if he could hear anything at all. 

Come on, baby. Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? 

At one point, he was deep enough that when he stopped to listen, he could hear animals howling, and owls screeching. 

Fuck. This is a fucking horror movie. 

He couldn’t help but think about all those times he ran through woods to find and help his friends and teammates, worried sick during the search and not knowing what state he’d find them in. 

Please, baby. Please, be okay. I can’t lose you. I can’t lose you. I can’t lose you. Not like this. Not now. I want more time. Please, please, please. 

He called out your name again. And again. Louder each time, his throat burning. 

Finally, he stopped near a stream just to recalibrate. His panicked brain only showed him disturbing images of you hurt, or attacked by an animal, or worse– 

Then he saw it. A single purple flower floating down the stream. Followed by a lot more. It was the only thing keeping him sane at the moment. He frowned, wondering if he was seeing things or if it was truly those damned flowers you liked to pluck for your baking. 

He reached for one and grabbed it, clutching it in his hand he took a deep breath. Okay, if he followed the stream maybe he’d get to where you are, he reasoned. So that’s what he did. He ran up the stream, careful not to slip and fall. 

The woods were getting darker and darker, but he was used to navigating in the dark. It wasn’t easy, but he was better at it than regular humans. 

So Bucky ran, for what felt like forever, until he saw a spot of red on top of a fallen tree trunk. 

He stopped running when he saw you, his chest burning with how fast he’d been running. And for how long. Must be about an hour or two by now. But there you were, sitting on a log, with your red coat around you and your hood on. Fuck, you were probably freezing too.  

As he got closer he noticed your body shaking with quiet sobs, your boots muddy and your basket of fucking flowers on the ground. 

“There you are.” He said, breathlessly. “Baby?” 

Relief and exhaustion. A million thoughts and feelings coursing through him, he felt like he was going to explode. The only thing that felt like it tethered him to earth was the feeling of your body colliding into his chest as you ran into his arms. So hard that it almost knocked him off his balance. 

“Bucky!” You sobbed. 

He was still breathing faster than he’d ever had. “I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you. Are you hurt?” He pulled away to look at you, “Look at me! Are you hurt?” 

How many times had he found his friends unconscious? Or with broken limbs? Or with bullet holes all over their bodies? For a moment, he was back in that life. That life filled with tragedy and pain. 

“No,” You spoke, teary eyed and voice shaking with panic and relief all at once. “My phone ran out of battery and–,” You let out a breath. “I was scared you wouldn’t find me.” 

He pulled you into his arms again, hugging you tighter than earlier, “Why wouldn’t I find you? I was worried sick. I thought–,” He stopped talking. Fuck. He needed to get a grip and calm those racing thoughts. 

A strange anger washed over him. Mainly because he was disappointed. Why hadn’t he gone out with you? You would’ve never gotten lost if he was with you. Fuck, what other dangers would you find yourself in due to his carelessness? What if next time– 

He blinked a couple of times and just said, “Come on, let’s go.” 

You noted the change in his tone and demeanor, but you didn’t say anything. You just followed him, wiping your tears and cursing the flowers in your basket. 

“I didn’t even realise I’d gotten this deep.” You spoke, looking ahead at Bucky’s back while he walked ahead and led the way. 

He didn’t say anything. 

“I only realised I went off my regular path when I started hearing all the animals.” You spoke, still staring at Bucky’s back. “Why aren’t you saying anything?” You asked softly. 

You got only silence from him. You could tell his mind was racing. But you didn’t understand the silent treatment. 

“Bucky?” You called out. 

He didn’t reply. 

“Say something.” You demanded. 

He stopped. And you nearly bumped into his back. When Bucky turned around to face you, he seemed different. Still. So still like he wasn’t breathing. It felt like he was a statue. The look in his eyes was blank. He was looking at you, but it felt like he was looking through you. 

It scared you how quiet he was. “Bucky?” 

“I thought I was gonna find you broken and maimed.” He finally said. “Do you know how many times I’ve had to go out and search places. Trying to find my teammates, or friends. Desperate to find them, or even a–,” He swallowed. “Or even a part of them.” 

You were quiet this time. And there was only silence, except for the light rain hitting the leaves around you. 

“I’m sorry.” You finally said. “Look, I was just scared when I called you. There’s nothing around here that could hurt me like that.” 

“Don’t be sorry.” He said. His voice was bitter. He finally looked at you, dead in the eyes and said, “Be smart. I ran for hours to get to you. I thought I’d find you dead. Why would you even get this far into the woods?” He finally snapped out of the trance he was in, getting heated with emotions now. “We don’t even know what lives in these woods! Nobody does!” 

You understood where he was coming from. But you didn’t appreciate the tone. “Why are you being mean to me? You’re acting like I chose to get lost. I didn’t mean to, Buck!” You got angry too. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for ruining your fucking evening.” You sassed. “I won’t do it again.” 

“Damn right you won’t!” He raised his voice just as much as you did. “I’m not letting you into these woods alone ever again!” 

“You don’t own me! I’ll go wherever I want!” Your mind couldn’t think properly. You were exhausted and still in panic mode. “I’ll even run away from you if I want to!” 

A second of silence as he processed your angry words. Then, “Fine!” He hissed. “Don't call me crying to come rescue you then next time you get lost doing what you want!” 

As much as you were angry at him, your lips trembled at the sound of his tone. “If I had someone else, literally anyone else I could rely on, I would've never called you in the first place.” You stated. Then, despite not wanting to, you teared up again. Your voice cracking as you said, “But I have no one.” 

“I have no one either!” Bucky said, “Don’t you see that? I was– I was scared I was gonna lose you too.” He sounded tired, and disappointed. “I fucking love you, and it kills me that you could be so easily taken from me! You don’t think that scares me to death every single fucking day?!” 

You couldn’t handle it. The panic and pain in his voice, the way Bucky looked heartbroken, the way he looked like he was reliving painful memories and the way you couldn’t do anything about it, the multitude of emotions running through your head at the sound of his confession… 

You couldn’t bear the shattered look on his face. So you took off running. In the other direction. 

Behind you, you could hear Bucky screaming, “Baby, for fuck’s sake!” 

But you didn’t stop. You kept running, ditching the basket and wiping your tears. 

“Get back here!” 

You could hear Bucky’s calls, but you didn’t answer. You didn’t know what to do. No one had ever made you feel that many emotions all at once ever again. Fuck, even dealing with your emotionally unavailable family was easier than this. Bucky was like an avalanche. Inescapable. Fierce. Passionate. And he destroyed all of your fears and your worries. He was so… colossal. He took over your life completely lately. And it messed with your head. Disorienting, but in the best ways. 

“Go away!” You sobbed. You were completely drenched at this point, the rain getting heavier and heavier, running for your life like a madwoman. Trying to get away from Bucky like he wasn’t the only person you ever wanted to run to for the rest of your life. 

You heard his footsteps, running, chasing and closer to you than earlier. 

You managed to run faster, finally able to put some distance between you two… only to trip on a fallen branch. You cursed before getting up, now with leaves and dirt sticking to you. 

You heard him. He was closer. Closer. “Baby, please.” He begged, his voice getting louder. 

You ran faster. Hoping to be able to somehow lose him and make your way back out of the woods somehow, and hide. Why? You didn’t know. 

But you couldn’t do that because right when you were about to make a sharp turn, Bucky grabbed you by the elbow and tackled you to the ground. Luckily you both fell on a soft, wet patch of moss rather than rocks or something. 

“Don’t run from me. I just found you.” He growled, straddling your squirming body and pinning your hands above your head. “What the hell did I say that made you run, huh? Am I not allowed to care for you?” 

You were still breathless. “You piss me off, Bucky!” You answered, heart racing. 

“Do I now?” He sounded cocky again. Far away from that strange trance he was in earlier, haunted by his past memories. 

Your body was warm because of how fast your heart was pumping blood but the rain falling from above was cold, so cold. The contrast was somehow maddening. Like Bucky. 

“Yes! And you are so mean!” You squirmed, trying to get free. 

“Stop moving!” He hissed. “I’m allowed to care, you hear me?” 

“You’re not allowed to be mad over something I had no control over.” You argued. 

“Yes I fucking am! I’m fucking allowed to be mad where my girl’s safety is concerned.” 

That shut you up. Bucky’s smirk sent a chill down your spine. 

“That’s not why you ran, is it?” He leaned down, his face hovering above yours. The damp strands of his hair tickling your face. “Is it because of what I said? About how I love you? Did you want a more romantic confession? Hmm? A cute little picnic? More flowers?” He taunted, his voice doing things to you that resulted in you feeling your arousal drip out of you. “Well that’s what I had in mind for tonight, you know? I was waiting for you at home, I was gonna make you your favourite dinner, and spout some fucking poetry to let you know how I feel but no.” He tightened his grip on your wrists. “You just had to run into these damn woods and get lost, didn’t you?” 

A tear fell down your face, disappearing into the moss under you. Fuck. You loved Bucky so much it physically hurt. 

“What is it, baby?” His voice was colder than the rain, “Did I scare you with that? Huh?” 

You sniffled. Closing your eyes for a moment, you took in a deep breath, but he was so close that you inhaled his scent as well. His cologne and his sweat was a heady mix, paired with the scent of the rain and your surroundings. You didn’t even know why you were crying. 

Bucky shut you up again with a kiss. A punishing, deep kiss. His hands let go of your wrists, coming down to grab your red coat at the neckline, ripping it open. You heard the buttons go flying around, then he grabbed the dress you were wearing under the coat, again at the neckline, and easily tore it off your body, baring your breasts to him since you hadn’t bothered to wear a bra to come to the woods. 

Bucky pulled away from the kiss, looking down at you. Above him, the sky was a darker shade of blue. His eyes demanded a silent question. He would back off immediately if you asked him to. 

But you didn’t. 

So he held your stare as he leaned down to take one of your breasts in his mouth, sucking and biting and alternating between the two of them.

You gasped and moaned and squirmed under him. The tension from earlier forgotten for now. Drops of water constantly dripped on the two of you, thankfully the pine trees took the brunt of the now heavy rain. But you could hear it, the sound of the rain falling. The grunts and groans coming from Bucky’s mouth, the sound of your moaning, the chill in the air. It was all too much. 

Bucky’s mouth moved from your breasts and kissed down your drenched torso, sucking the rain off your skin until he reached your inner thighs where he parted your legs and settled in between them. He slid your underwear to the side, and you moaned shamelessly when you felt his warm, wet tongue lick down your folds. 

His tongue slipped past your folds and teased your entrance, occasionally flicking your throbbing clit mercilessly until you screamed his name. Your hands immediately gripped his hair and tugged gently at his wet hair. 

Your torn clothes were getting soiled but you didn’t care. Neither did he. 

He licked and sucked relentlessly, “You taste so fucking good…” He whispered as he ate you out until you whined, throwing your head back and moaning at how good he felt. His warm mouth pressed against your most intimate part, his tongue stroking you. 

He growled when your hips instinctively bucked against his mouth. You whined as the sounds he made reverberated through your entire body, causing goosebumps to erupt all over your body. 

“What is it? You want more?” He taunted. “Thought you were mad at me just now. Don’t I piss you off anymore?” 

You felt tingles shooting through you as he teased you incessantly. Even in the darkness, you could sense that his piercing eyes were wild and fierce, staring up at you from in between your legs. 

“Oh damn you.” You hissed, your heart overflowing with all the love you had for him. 

“You’re all mine…” he whispered, thrusting his tongue deeper into you. You moaned and whimpered, your body getting warmer and warmer with each touch of his tongue. “You hear me? All mine.” He said.

“Please, Buck…” You felt your walls tighten around nothing, and you knew you were close. You could only moan and whimper as he kept licking deeper into you, your back arching off the cold ground. You felt him quicken his pace and you felt the pressure building up in between your hips until you couldn’t handle it anymore, and you came undone all over his lips, moaning and whimpering. Your naked body drenched in the rain. 

Bucky tore your underwear off, he’d never had to use such brute strength before, but he did now. And it only made you throb and want him more. His metal hand found itself around your throat as he parted your legs and pushed his cock into you without wasting a second, stretching you out. 

Condoms be damned. You both needed this, you thought.  

It felt so raw, primal, and dirty, being fucked on the forest floor by a man like Bucky. Broad shoulders, metal arm, hair damp and messy. His t-shirt and jeans sticking to him like a second skin while you were naked under him. 

“Sure you didn’t think you could run and hide from me, baby, did you? Or maybe you secretly did want to be fucked like this? Hmm?” He questioned, knowing you weren’t in a headspace to answer him given his hand was around your throat and his cock buried so deep inside of you – he knew your brain was a foggy mess. “My pretty girl. You’re so easily affected by a raised voice, huh? You couldn’t handle it? I spoil you too much, don’t I? You’re so fucking soft, look at you.” He scoffed, “Crying and throwing a tantrum the moment I raise my voice at you.” 

But you couldn’t argue. All you could so was whine and moan as he began fucking into you hard and fast. There was nothing gentle about it. He was wild like his surroundings, and passionate, animalistic, fucking you like there’s no tomorrow. And you enjoyed every bit of it. 

He tightened his grip around your throat as he sped up into you, leaning down and growling right in your ear and telling you that you belonged to him. “All mine.” 

The cold didn’t matter now that his warm, though damp and clothed, body was pressing down on you. Something about you being completely naked while he was still dressed made the moment all the more raw and dirty. 

“All yours.” You managed to choke out. 

You were a moaning mess under him, your hands finding their way into his hair as he fucked you nice and hard. It was all overwhelming, his voice, his weight on top of you, his cock thrusting in and out of you repeatedly… 

He released your throat and placed his hand on your abdomen, his metal hand pressing down on your front so he can feel himself inside you with each thrust. He stared into your eyes while he sped up into you again. “There I am. You feel that? That’s me fucking my girl.” He said, thrusting into your extra hard to prove his point. He smirked when your body squirmed under him. “What did you say earlier? That you’d run from me if you wanted to?” He boasted, “Try running now, baby.” 

All you could do was moan, clenching your eyes shut as you felt like you were losing your mind under him. 

“Look at me, hey, hey!” He tapped your cheek gently to get you to open your eyes. “Look at me,” His tone was gentle now. “Are you gonna come frolicking around here alone again? Huh? Are you?” 

You shook your head, unable to speak coherently.  

“Answer me. Use your words, come on.” He insisted. “You were so bratty earlier, what happened, huh? Use your words baby, come on tell me. Are you?” 

“No, please. I won’t. I promise.” 

“Good girl. Now come for me.” 

You cried out, feeling him speed up into you. “Bucky, I–,” 

“Shh, baby.” He sounded much calmer now. “I’ve got you, don’t worry. I’m right here.” He mumbled into your ear. “Your man’s here, I've got you. Just let go and come for me, that’s it. Just come.” 

He pressed his lips to yours as he made you come first, his mouth swallowing your moans as you orgasmed before he pulled out and came all over your inner thighs. 

You both caught your breaths. Bucky pressed his forehead to yours. “I love you.” He whispered. Over and over again. It was pouring now. The rain washing over you both, taking away the tension with it. 

“You’re all I have, Buck.” You confessed, breathlessly. “And I love you. So much. And when you got angry earlier… I’ve never seen that side of you before. It scared me. You’re all I have and you were mad at me. I didn’t know what else to do.” 

Bucky sighed, leaning in to press his forehead down against yours. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry.” He sounded genuine. “You scared me too. I thought– I didn’t mean to be angry at you. I just– that was wrong of me. I’m sorry.” 

“I know.” 

“I fucking love you.” 

“I love you too.” You sniffled. 

Bucky pulled away to look down at you. You could see it well, but you could’ve sworn his eyes were teary too. “Let’s get you home.” 

—

He took you to his house, and didn’t stop apologising or touching you in that gentle way of his. Not in the shower, not when he tucked you both in and pulled you closer in bed, not when he made sure you’d eaten something and drank plenty of water. 

And especially not when he made love to you again. Slow, and passionate love. Fingers laced together, his body on top of yours, his cock moving in and out of you languidly, his eyes staring into yours in a way that made you tear up again. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, kissing all over your face. 

“Me too.” You whispered, breathlessly. “We could’ve–” You gasped in pleasure, “We could’ve handled that better.” 

Bucky chuckled, kissing you on the mouth. “We’re idiots.” 

You giggled, his beard scratching your skin. “I agree.” 

—

You woke up the next morning wrapped in Bucky’s arms. He clung to you like a koala bear. And his heat was the most glorious thing to wake up to on a rainy morning. The world outside was cloudy and grey, and perfect for cuddles. 

“Are you up?” He asked, his voice tired and deeper than normal. 

“How long have you been up?” You asked, turning around to face him. 

“Didn’t sleep.” He said. 

“Bucky,” You chided, “Are you still worrying about last night?” 

He avoided your eyes. 

“Baby,” You cooed. “It’s okay. We talked about it, remember?” 

And you had a long conversation last night, after the multiple rounds of sex in his bed. About his protectiveness, about you being careful, about your relationship, about his fears, triggers, and worries due to his past, about everything. 

“I know,” He mumbled, kissing your forehead. “I love you. Too much.” 

You giggled, “I love you too. Too fucking much.” 

He seemed in a nicer mood instantly. “What would’ve happened to me if you hadn’t showed up that day? At my door with muffins and cookies to seduce me.” 

You laughed, snuggling into him. “Hey, it worked. I mean, I’m naked in your bed.” 

He laughed too. “Thank you, baby.” 

“What for?” 

“Sticking around.”

“Oh Buck. I’ll always stick around.” You mumbled into his neck, “Just promise me we’ll have more… date nights deep into the woods.” 

He mumbled something about how he’d created a little sex monster, then pulled you closer and said, “Whatever you want, baby.” Then finally, he drifted off to a much needed sleep with his arms still wrapped around you.

— 

a/n: get it? She was wearing a RED coat in the woods, and he’s the White WOLF hehehe– [they drag me back to my padded cell as I scream] UNTIL NEXT TIME!!! [they lock me in my cell]

Disarmed | Bucky Barnes x Reader

After the events of the GOTG holiday special, I think we all know where this came from and where it’s going…

I have not been able to stop thinking about how this actually went down for Bucky. And it makes me sad.

Warnings: violence, injuries, pain, blood, Bucky’s arm, home invasion

No answer followed your knocking. Just silence. No movement from inside the apartment. 

Another round of knocks echoed through the quiet hall. Again, silence. 

“Buck? It’s me…”

You leaned against the door, listening for any sign of life. And finally, soft steps made their way in your direction. A deep sigh came from behind the wood. 

Checking in on Bucky like this always made you feel like a bit of a bother. You never wanted to irritate him or make him feel like a child. But you liked knowing he was alright. And he never seemed to mind. He even welcomed your unannounced drop-ins. Bucky liked knowing that someone- anyone- cared about him. He just couldn’t believe you, of all people, were that ‘someone’. 

The metallic rattling sound of Bucky undoing his door’s chain brought a smile to your face. Sure, he’d gone radio silent. He’d ignored your texts and calls all day and skipped out on your lunch plans. But he had a lot on his plate. And even as he worked through his issues and eliminated some of his mental load, more problems often materialized out of nowhere. And so, you granted him grace. You didn’t chastise him or nag him for drawing in on himself. He was doing his very best, and you only wanted to help.

Bucky tentatively pulled open the door a sliver, granting you a view of only half his body. He looked tired, dejected. But he smiled when he saw you- he couldn’t help it. “Hey, doll…” 

“Hey, I was-” You noticed a large scrape running the length of his arm, a bruise resting below his eye. “Woah- what happened? I just saw you yesterday…” Anxiety flooded your system- he was okay less than twenty-four hours ago. How did this happen? And when? 

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Bucky Barnes Angst!

Hi, friends! Welcome to angst-central! I love me some Bucky Barnes angst, and I hope you enjoy my angsty posts :)

Find my Ko-Fi here!

After All This Time | impending danger puts you and your ex, Bucky, in close quarters.

All in My Head | Your perfect boyfriend Bucky just wants to take you dancing, and his sweeping romantic gesture is almost too good to be true.

Anti Hero | Bucky can’t believe someone like you would be with someone like him. And he’s certain it won’t last.

Baby, It’s Cold Outside | In the dead of winter, the heating in your building goes out. You don’t mind the freezing temperatures, but Bucky is miserable.

The Ballad of Love and Hate | Bucky refuses to open up to you even after you've moved in together. You need some time away to think while Bucky spirals due to your absence.

Begin Again | Bucky broke up with you six months for an unspecified reason, leaving you absolutely heartbroken. When he shows up on your doorstep, your feelings come rushing back.

Blood on My Hands | A text from Sam sparks anxiety about Bucky’s state of mind after his most recent mission, and all you want to do is fix it for him.

Burning the Midnight Oil | Bucky says he’s okay. He tells you that he just can’t fall asleep, but his continuous absence from your bedroom spells trouble.

Call Me When You Get This | Bucky always worries about your safety, but his anxiety gets worse when he’s away on a mission. He doesn’t hear from you for an entire day, and it makes him spiral.

Chemical Imbalance | Bucky finally returns from his latest mission, and goin and you can’t wait to see him. But when his old instincts resurface, the two of you are forced apart.

Clean Up Crew | You’d do anything for your best friend Bucky. And when he calls you in the middle of the night with a strange request, you jump at the chance to help him.

Damaged | It’s date night, but your chronic pain is rearing its ugly head. Bucky spends the night worrying about you and trying to care for you.

Dark Reflection | A particularly dark night terror wakes Bucky in a panic. He reaches for you and finds your side of the bed empty, save for a few drops of blood.

Darling, You Will Bury Me Before I Bury You | You know Bucky is a super soldier, but you worry about how long he'll be around. He is 106, after all.

Disarmed | Bucky’s radio silence prompts you to pay him a visit. When you see him, you notice new injuries and one missing piece.

Documentary Now | In his free time, Bucky wants to catch up on all of your favorite movies and tv shows, but he stumbles upon something darker.

Do You Want to Die Together? | Bucky’s lost a lot of people in his life, and it’s only a matter of time before he starts thinking about losing you.

Double Agent | Bucky can’t control his rage as he sees you, a former Hydra operative, joining the team. His fury is quelled, however, when you reveal the truth about your past.

Double Agent: Part 2 | A nightmare violently wakes you up, but Bucky is there to take care if you. After calming down, you tell him every last detail of your time under Hydra.

Double Agent: Part 3 | All Bucky wants is for you to get some rest, but there’s no way you can sleep. He picks your brain over some breakfast, and learns more about your past.

Double Agent: Part 4 | Things between you and Bucky improve consistently, and you quickly become close friends. But one unfortunate middle of the night event sends the two of you back two square one.

Dust to Dust | Bucky’s on a long mission, and you’re preparing for his return home. But Sam has some unfortunate news that shakes you to your core.

End of My Rope | Bucky’s been down lately, and you’ve been doing your best best to help. But things come to a head when you come home early from work.

End of Story | An injury forces you to examine Bucky’s mortality head on and talk about things you never wanted to admit.

Excuses | An unexpected relapse of Bucky’s Winter Soldier mindset makes him do something he doesn’t remember- the worst thing he’s ever done.

False Reality | Running into an unpleasant person from your past sends you into a shame spiral. Bucky gets you home and takes care of you- reminding you of your worth.

Family Man | More than anything, Bucky wants you to be happy. He’d do anything to help you find someone, no matter how much it hurts him.

Fixer Upper | Bucky knows he’s got issues. But with your help, he’s been making great strides. His long recovery seems to be going well, but he wonders how long you’ll stick around.

For You, I Would Ruin Myself | Work’s been kicking your ass lately, and Bucky knows it. But you come home and try to seduce him anyway, just like you always do.

Glutton For Punishment | After being blamed for something that wasn’t his fault, Bucky spirals. And it’s in the midst of his breakdown that you learn the origin of the bruise on his chest.

Happiness is a Butterfly | You never expected to meet the Bucky Barnes somewhere so mundane, but bumping into him at the grocery store leads to a first date.

Haunted | You and Bucky have finally admitted your feelings for each other, but when he hurts you by accident, he runs. You're left to pick up the pieces in his absence.

Help me | Bucky wakes from a night terror and divulges the details of a particular horrifying memory- one he’s never shared with anyone.

Hold My Hand | Keeping your emotional struggles to yourself is just the way you operate, until Bucky wakes one to find you sobbing.

Home | Bucky is your best friend in the compound and your favorite person to spend time with until he ices you out completely.

Hopelessly Devoted | Yet another failed date leaves you tired of being alone. Bucky makes it his mission to help you feel better, and ends up making a surprising confession.

I’ll Show You Mine | Bucky’s nightmares get to him each and every night, but he refuses to ask for help- until one night, he knocks on your door.

I’ll Never Smile Again | Part two of Honey, Come Home | Bucky’s mission keeps getting extended, leaving you sad and alone.

I’ll Wear Your Ring | Bucky loved you. He gave you a ring and asked you to be his wife- and then he left without a trace.

I Never Learned to Read Your Mind | Bucky broke up with you just over a month ago, yet gets jealous after seeing you with another man.

It Feels Easier to Just Swim Down | Several unanswered texts make Bucky work about you, and he ends up at your apartment to check in on you. What he finds breaks his heart.

It Will Come Back | Bucky is your very best friend but he’s very hot and cold toward you, so you confront him.

It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want to | It’s a special night- the night of your birthday party. But Bucky has yet to show up.

Just in Case | On the run after the events of Civil War, Bucky hasn’t gotten nearly enough sleep. You offer to sit with him, and he makes an off putting request.

Let Go | Bucky knows there’s something you’re hiding from him, and all he wants is to help. But you remain closed off and tight lipped until everything falls apart.

Like a Secret, Like an Oath | Bucky never misses an opportunity to give you a kiss or hold your hand- unless the team is around.

Long Gone | The greatest tragedy of your life, Bucky’s disappearance in the blip, finally comes to an end when he returns home- but is he really back?

Lost Without You | Your mission team returns home safely… without you. Bucky launches into an investigation, doing everything he can to get you back.

Love Language | You notice that Bucky has started pulling away from your usual physical affection, and it makes you rethink the way you show your love.

Lucky | A dicey mission has Bucky looking a little worse for wear. You’re already worried about him, but he makes a comment that sends your anxiety into overdrive.

Making Amends | You’ve never seen the inside of Bucky’s secret little notebook, and when you accidentally take a glance, you can’t believe what you find.

Means to an End | Bucky comes home from a mission injured and bloody- just like always. But the details of what happened make you unravel.

Metamorphosis | Bucky never anticipated meeting someone like you, let alone befriending you. He bares his soul to you, showing you every dark corner of his mind, and you help him become a new man.

Monster Mash | A Halloween party goes very south when you and Bucky are met face to face with someone from both of your pasts.

Muscle Memory | Things with Bucky are perfect until he touches you in a way that brings back terrible memories.

Necessary Evil | when you end up hurt after a mission, Bucky is tasked with taking care of you. But you’ve never experienced pain like this before.

Never Alone | Bucky is afraid of who he is deep down, and thinks leaving is the best option for the both of you.

Never Stop Searching | When the jet returns from a mission without you, Bucky is fiercely determined to find you.

The Night We Met | Bucky comes to you with a question, a file full of redacted documents, and a broken heart. He needs to know- why didn’t you tell him?

Nothing Fucks With My Baby | Bucky shows up late to a Shield party and finds out that a new agent made you uncomfortable. He takes care of it.

Nowhere to Go | Bucky’s temporary living situation falls through and he needs a place to crash, but he’s too embarrassed to ask for help.

Old Habits | Bucky’s old Winter Soldier training starts rearing its head, causing him to become more protective of you than ever before.

Packed Bags | Bucky comes home to find your things neatly packed into a suitcase, and he does everything he can to convince you not to leave him.

Penance | Bucky comes home from a mission bloody and injured. You want him to get some medical attention, but he refuses.

Protect Yourself | Bucky worries endlessly about your safety and just wants you to know how to keep yourself safe. Unfortunately, you end up injured in the process and he blames himself.

Put My Mind at Ease | You return home from a successful mission with plans to have a pizza night with Bucky- but things go awry when an injury rears it’s head.

The Quiet | Bucky is gone all the time on mission after mission, fulfilling his duties as an Avenger- but is he doing too much?

Red Light, Green Light | Sex with Bucky is better than you’d ever experienced, but he has a habit that draws your attention.

Revenge | A mission gone sideways finds you bloodied on the floor of a Hydra base, and Bucky knows exactly who’s to blame.

Safe With Me | A mission goes sideways, putting you in the hands of a notorious Hydra arms dealer. Upon returning home, your well-being takes a turn for the worst, but Bucky is there for you.

Self-Inflicted | A strange sound wakes you up in the middle of the night, and you discover a sleeping Bucky covered blood.

She Never Asked Me Once About the Wrong I Did | Bucky comes home from a mission, racked with guilt and covered in blood that isn't his. He needs comfort and safety and that only you can provide.

Silent Lucidity | Bucky calls in the middle of the night, and something is clearly wrong. He doesn’t sound like himself. He needs you.

Somebody’s Watching Me | Bucky knows you’re being stalked by the creepy guy who frequents your work place, but you shrug it off- until the man takes things a little too far.

That’s My Girl | Bucky hates when you go on missions without him, and he counts the hours till you return. When you end up in the med bay without him knowing why, he loses it.

Til it Happens to You | An unsavory encounter with an old friends leaves Bucky picking up your broken pieces.

Unanswered Letters | Bucky is your best friend in the Avengers compound...until he leaves with no warning. His return is confusing and complicated for the both of you.

Under the Influence | Girls night out with Nat and Wanda gets ruined by a particularly creepy stranger, and Bucky spends the night taking care of you.

Unforgivable | Bucky can’t contain himself when you defy his orders on a mission and out yourself in danger.

Unhinged | An argument between you and Bucky gets a little out of hand, prompting him to leave with no intention of returning.

Watch You Sleep (sequel to Just in Case) | Bucky falls asleep in your lap and finally gets the rest he deserves. One tiny mistake by you wakes him, however, leading to a violent outburst.

Weak Link | Bucky is your favorite person to work with on missions, and you’re partnered together every time- until someone keeps changing things up last minute, making you doubt your friendship with him.

What Could Go Wrong? | A SWORD function at the compound has Bucky feeling uneasy. He can’t seem to stop himself from checking up on you, but you swear to him that you’re not in danger- you’re wrong.

Why Are You at the Wake? | Bucky sits by your hospital bed, anxious for you to finally open your eyes. He’s got to set the record straight, and apologize for what he said before you got hurt.

Winter in my Heart | Bucky just can’t get a handle on his emotions as he tries to adjust to a normal life with you.

The Words | While out with you at the store, Bucky encounters something from his past that messes with his head.

The World Stopped Moving | A mission gone wrong leaves you and Bucky both gravely injured.

Unforgivable | Bucky is your closest friend, he’s the person you care about most. But things take a negative turn when he snaps at you in front everyone.

You Drew Stars Around My Scars | you and Bucky trade off telling the stories behind your scars. But one of Bucky’s stories is worse than you could ever imagine.

You Don’t Own Me | Bucky’s wounds land him in the med bay after a mission, much to his dismay. A particular scar of his catches your eye, forcing Bucky to unravel even more of his traumatic past.

Yours | Bucky loves being your boyfriend, but he knows he's got a lot of baggage. He worries that it's too much for you, so you talk him through it.

You're Here Now | Bucky always begs you to lock the front door, but you're forgetful. Too bad you forgot to lock it the day Hydra came after you to get back at Bucky...

Find my Bucky smut here 🔥

Find my Bucky fluff here 🥰

Can you do a part 2 of forgiveness??

Forgiveness pt.2

Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Part two of "Forgiveness." You have forgiven Bucky and the two of you have become friends...or have you...

Angst, Bucky and reader are on better terms, fluff, slight sexual themes. Reader comforts Bucky.

It was bitterly cold as you strolled through downtown New York. You had bundled yourself up in preparation for your outing. However, despite the endless layers, the chill still nipped at your body. You were on your way to a bar that you and Bucky would meet at occasionally. It had been nearly two years since he had knocked on your old apartment door. He had made quite the effort over the last two years to make up for what he did to you. Despite you already giving him your forgiveness a few times. Bucky would go above and beyond making up for it by giving you flowers twice a week, taking you to dinner, lots hangouts, and he even bought you a nice penthouse with the money that he got from being an avenger. You could say that you had developed a little crush on him, but was way too nervous to ever tell him. Your past with him was mended, but you still had fear of the future, even though the two of you are now close friends.

As you arrived at the door you were met with beautiful blue eyes and a million dollar smile. Bucky's face lit up when he saw you as he opened the door so that you could enter the warm bar.

"Hey there Y/N." Bucky welcomed you.

"Hey Bucky, how are you doing?" You asked walking through the door making your way to the bar.

"I'm all good, how about you Darling?" He asked as you both took your seats.

"Same here, just cold." You told him as you rubbed your hands together gathering the warmth from the bar.

"Yeah, cold doesn't bother me much now with super soldier serum." He spoke casually as though that was the most normal thing in the world.

"Yeah, lucky you." you laughed grabbing the menu.

"Yeah I guess." He laughed coping you. "Watcha thinking of getting?" He asked looking your way.

"Not sure, not really feeling alcohol but food sounds nice." You mumbled. "What about you? Same old same old?" You asked Bucky giving him a cute smile.

"Yeah you know me." Bucky chuckled

The bartender then came up to the two of you, asking for your orders. You ordered F/F and F/D. Bucky ordered the same thing he always does: beer and pie. After the two of you chatted for awhile, your food came out piping hot. You both thanked the bartender and ate your food. It was warm and delicious and it's not surprise that this is the place you and Bucky like to go to for food or drinks.

"So when is your next mission? You asked as you took a bite of your food.

"Actually I'm taking a little break from the Avengers for a while." He said with sadness lacing his tone.

"Why is that?" You asked putting your hand on his shoulder giving him a conforting squeeze.

"I just need a break honestly, the last mission we went on really fucked with me and I lost focus. I realized that I've been distracting myself from the things that really matter." Bucky told looking in your eyes as he did so.

"That's understandable, Bucky. Even Avengers need breaks sometimes." You reassured him as you put your head on his shoulder giving him an awkward but loving hug.

"Yeah, I agree." Bucky responded wrapping his arm around you as the two of you settled into a comfortable hug. You then broke the hug as you paid attention to the meals in front of you with furious blushed on both of your faces.

Bucky paid insisting that since he was the one who asked you out that he should pay. You've learned to just roll with that as there is no way you can convince him that you can pay. You left the tip which made Bucky whine a bit, but he let you knowing that's what would make you happy. On your way out of the bar, Bucky once again opened the door for you. To which you gave him a gracious smile and thanked him for the meal and the time you had with him.

"Hey, you wanna hang out at my place?" You asked him feeling jittery from excitement and nerves.

"Sure thing darling, I've got time." He told you grabbing your hand. He then leaned down to whisper something in your ear. "May I hold your hand y/n?" he asked standing back up. You then leaned up to his ear and whispered too.

"Only if I can hold yours, darlin." You teased grabbing his gloved metal hand in yours as you began making your way to the penthouse pulling Bucky behind you.

After about a twenty minute walk through the shivering cold, you and Bucky had arrived at your penthouse. You reached your gloved hand into your left pocket grabbing your keys and unlocking the door. Both you and Bucky walked in and both made an audible sigh to the warmth of your home.

"Make yourself at home. There's booze in the firdge and snacks if you're still hungry." You told Bucky as you began stripping the warm layers off your body leaving you in your t-shirt and pants. Bucky copied you leaving him in a long sleeve shirt and a pair of navy blue jeans.

Bucky made his way to the couch making himself comfortable by spreading out his arms and legs. You followed him sitting next to him in a similar manner taking in the comfort of your couch that Bucky also happened to pay for. You remember at the time refusing all of the expensive things he wanted to get you as you could afford it yourself. However, he kept insisting and told you that he had nothing else to spend his money on and that you were more than deserving of nice things. You chuckled at that memory which caused Bucky to raise his eyebrow at you.

"Whatcha laughing at?" He questioned turning his body to face you more.

"Nothin." You teased coping his movements

"Been a while since I've been here. It looks nice I can tell you've put a lot of love into it. How's treating you?" He complimented

"God this place is nice Bucky" you sighed "Thanks again for getting this place for me." You told him putting your hand on his.

"Anytime doll, you know every time we see each other you thank me for this place." He teased moving so that his hand was on yours.

"And you always apologize every time we see each other." You teased back not realizing that you had made Bucky feel bad.

"Yeah, well I've got a lot to be sorry for y/n. And I've got a lot to make up for." He spoke and you could tell he was about to cry.

"You aren't that guy anymore and I'm confident you never will be." You told him squeezing his hand softly.

"I'm not so sure Y/n..." He whispered as a tear left his right eye.

"What do you mean?" You questioned

"I messed up real bad on the mission and went too far." He told you looking anywhere but your face.

"What do you mean, if you're not okay telling me than please don't." You told him trying your best to not make him uncomfortable.

"No, its okay i trust you." Bucky spoke sincerely. He paused for a minute, turning his head away from you. Bucky then sighed deeply rubbing his eyes before turning back to you. It was clear he was nervous and based on the past you both had together, he was scared that he would make you not want to be around him. He thought that maybe if he was honest you would turn away in disgust and be frightened again. However, he also thought that maybe you'd understand that the past was truly mended as you told him. Sighing once more he jumped the gun and told you. "The mission was a success and we saved everyone. We took out the bad guy," He breathed sharply rubbing his palms nervously. "The person we were after had the ability to mind control people. He decided to use his powers on me." Bucky pause once more examining your eyes but was met with kindness which gave him the confidence to proceed. "I attacked Sam and hurt him pretty bad. Somehow he managed to knock me out after a while and redwing shot him with a tranquilizer dart. But I kept going, I couldn't stop. I felt like how I did back then only this time I was aware of who I was and I had no control over my own movements. God I thought I was gonna kill him." Bucky told you looking the wall in front of him as tears fell down his cheeks. After a moment he looked at you. Just as he did you wrapped your arms around him, locking him in a tight hug.

"Bucky none of that was your fault. Like you said it was the work of the guy with those weird powers. You are not at fault." You expressed to him scratching the back of his head softly. You weren't scared of him and you haven't been in a long time. You knew that he was a good guy and you could feel your anger bubbling out because of what that guy did to Bucky. You kept your cool knowing that it wasn't what he needed right now. Your heart ached for him and all you wanted was for him to be safe and happy.

"But I hurt Sam I hurt him so had. He said that he wasn't mad but he hasn't really talked to me. Y/n I'm so scared-" Bucky rambled but was stopped when you suddenly kissed him. To say he was stunned was an understatement. He then grabbed your face reciprocating the kiss, leaning forward to capture your lips better. It was a sweet and gentle kiss. When the two of you broke the kiss, you stared at each other not knowing what to say in that moment.

Bucky knew he liked you but was too afraid to let you know, his feelings out of fear you would reject him. However, to him it felt like his whole body was erupting in fireworks. He decided to kiss you again only this time with more passion, making sure that he didn't go too far. You moaned into the kiss, feeling the passion on your lips from his. You pulled him closer making both of you backwards as you laid on your back. You then grabbed the hair on the back of his neck making him grunt as he pulled on your waist so that your chest was pressed against his. Bucky pulled away with a huge giddy smile on your face, panting as he did.

"I'm guessing you like me back?" He joked kissing you sweetly on the foerhead.

"How could I not?" You told him sincerely caressing his cheek softly.

"Y/n, why do you?" Bucky asked sitting up looking at you as you followed his movements.

"Simple, you're a good person that has put in a lot of work in getting better. You have taken care of me and have been my dear friend for two years now. You handsome, charming, and kind. Bucky I really like you and I've liked you for a long time now and I have forgiven you for the man that you use to be. Because that man was not who you really are." You spoke honestly grabbing his hands in yours.

"God I love you." He whispered before realizing what he said. You made a shocked face but then smiled and kissed him multiple times on his soft lips.

"Well good thing I love you too Bucky Barnes." You spoke in between kisses.

You both ended up cuddling on your couch talking more about your lives and the fact that the two of you were now dating officially. You talked for hours but the just seemed to pass by like minutes. The night ended with the two of you fast asleep happy with the current state of your relationship.

Thank you so much for reading part 2! Many thanks to the person that requested this I hope you liked it!💜

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•I do NOT own any characters except y/n and any original characters•

(Part 1) (Part 2)

L.W.L

Forgiveness pt.1

Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Reader is a victim of the Winter Soldier. When Bucky finds her to apologize, she tries to shoot him thinking he’s still the Winter Soldier. Angst, fluff, mentors of violence and blood, Bucky spills his heart out to you. Takes place during Falcon And The Winter Soldier.

Ten years ago...

Shots rung through the alleyway, a man now was dead. As a man with a sliver metal arm stood above him with an expressionless face. He turned around to leave the alleyway only to notice a girl standing there in absolute horror. Y/N was frozen with fear and only came to her senses when the man began to walk closer to her. She screamed and began running from him. However, he caught up with her shooting her in the leg. She fell down hard as her face hit the sidewalk as the blood began to pour from her fractured nose. He came towards her and began punching her face, stomach, and pressing his foot on her injury. Her screamed echoed through the night. He looked down at her with the same expression as the man he killed. She knew this was where she was going to die. Until a bright light cascaded on their bodies, blinding the man standing before her. She saw his face, from his blue eyes, and blood splattered face. If she wasn't being murdered right now she'd think this man was handsome. He then ran back into the alleyway and somehow disappeared. Y/N cried not just from her injuries, but from the sweet relief that her life might last a little bit longer. A police officer knelt down towards her asking her questions, but she couldn't respond still coming down from the adrenaline rush she just had. She knew that if she ever saw that man with the silver arm again, she would be ready to face him.

Bucky's Pov

Apologizing has been one of the hardest things I've needed to do. Looking into the eyes of my victims or their loved ones makes me feel a guilt that is all consuming. My therapist suggested that this was a good idea, but it sure as hell doesn't feel that way. I'd rather just send them a letter and a gift basket, but I know these people deserve much better than that. I was near done with my list, as I just talked to two of the last three on my list. Their tears and screams will keep me up at night for the rest of my life. Part of me thought that I deserve it, but at the same time it wasn't me who killed or hurt those people, it was The Winter Soldier.

The sun was beginning to set in the sky as the chill of the coming night began to fill the air. Walking up to the apartment building, I took a deep breath trying to calm myself. I really hurt his girl, and I could understand if she could never forgive me, I certainly wouldn't. Her name was Y/n L/N.As I got to her apartment I hesitated knocking on her door. What I did to her was pure evil and from what I've heard about her is that she's had to go through years of therapy because of it. Taking a leap of faith, I knocked on the door. After a couple of seconds, I heard footsteps and then the door opened slightly reveling her. She was beautiful, her hair was a lovely h/c, her eyes looked tired and I was guessed she was going to bed. Her face was laced with confusion before quickly changing into horror.

"Get the hell away from me." She snapped

"Please I'm not him anymore." I pleated

"You're a fucking liar!" She cried running quickly into her kitchen grabbing a gun from under her sink. She then pointed the gun at me and fired, which bounced off my metal hand that I used to protect myself.

"Y/N, please just hear me out. I'm not him anymore!?" I shouted raising my hand in the air.

"Why in the hell would I do that?" She yelled

"Look I don't know. All I know is that I hurt you in horrible ways and I'm so sorry that I did." I said softly looking into her eyes.

"I nearly died because of you. And you came to apologize?" She questioned still pointing the gun at me.

"You're right, I promise after I'm done you will never see me again." I promised her lowering my hands.

"Fine, you have two minutes and if you're not out by then I will shoot you in the fucking head. Do you understand?" She said sternly

"Yes, I understand." I responded lowering my hands

"Stay standing and don't make any sudden movements." She ordered lowering her gun but still holding it.

"You got it." I said

"Talk." she ordered

"I know that I hurt you and I came here to say sorry. I'm not that monster anymore and I can assure you that he's dead. He will never hurt you or anyone else again. He was a tool for H.Y.D.R.A and I had no say in what I did. They brainwashed me and forced my body to kill innocent people. I'm not trying to condone my actions, I'm just trying to explain. " I calmly said trying not to make her more scared. Her eyes seemed to soften a little.

"Do you remember everything?" She questioned

"Yes, I remember all of them. Every single person, from their cries, to the sound of their blood hitting the ground. I remember how it felt to kill them and how little I cared. I never want to be like that again, and I've gone through a lot to make sure that I don't." I said tears prickling my eyes.

"So what's your real name then?" she questioned hesitantly

"James Buchanan Barnes, but my friends call me Bucky." I told her with a slight smile.

"Good name, hell of a lot better than The Winter Soldier." She joked hesitantly

"Yeah." I chucked

"So you weren't the one doing all of that, are you sure?" she questioned placing the gun on the counter to her right.

"No I wasn't, I would never have hurt you, I promise." I reassured giving her a smile.

"I still can't forgive you." She admitted

"I know and I don't expect you to. What I did, what he did, was unforgivable." I stated sadly. "I should go, thank you for your time."

"Yeah, no problem." she said softly

"See you around." I said turning around to leave her nice apartment.

"Wait, can I have your number? Not for anything like that or whatever, but if I do forgive you, I'd like to let you know." She cried out getting my attention with her phone in hand.

"Sure, I'd love to." I smiled at her grabbing her phone and putting my number in. After I did, I put 'Bucky' as my name in her contacts, hoping she wouldn't mind.

"Thanks." She whispered

"Have a goodnight." I whispered looking into her eyes

"You too, stay outta trouble." She joked

"You too." I laughed leaving her apartment. I left feeling satisfied with what I had accomplished yet still hoping one day she can forgive me.

Three months later...

Sam and I decided to head to his favorite bar in his hometown. We were laughing and telling good stories from our pasts. Today we fixed his family's boat and decided to celebrate with a couple of drinks. I was on my third beer when all of the sudden my phone vibrated. Curiously, I looked down only to be texted by someone I honestly thought I'd never hear from. Tears ran down my face as I read the simple but important message.

'I forgive you'

Thank you so much for reading! This is the first Marvel fic I’ve written. Should I do a part 2?

Requests, comments, and reblogs are welcome.

Click here to see what I’ll write for and HERE for my master list.

•I do NOT own any characters except y/n•

-L.W.L

(Part 1)(Part 2)

This was chef's kiss 😘

Bucky Barnes - Adrenaline Rush |one shot|

summary: the boys left to the bar, coming back late only to find that their entire floor had been broken into, you were home alone.

Warning: attempted murder, angst, fluff

Note: this was just a short thought But it’s also terribly written, sorry?.

Main Masterlist // Roomie Collection

The boys had just gotten to the local bar that was nearly a mile away from the apartment. You had a rough day at work and didn't want to leave the comforts of the apartments. You had insisted the boys still go out without you though of course Bucky objected but was dragged out anyway.

You started running yourself a bath letting it run while you reheated whatever leftover you could find in the fridge which was very limited with three boys in the apartment.

Leaning over the kitchen counter as you slowly stuff your mouth with the slightly cold food from the plastic container. Dumping half of it into the trash before proceeding to the bathroom, starting to strip yourself of your work scrubs discarding your top to the ground leaving you in your bra and your athletic shorts you usually wear under your scrubs.

The front door opening loudly caused you to jump back, peaking your head out the door, calling out for one of them.

The loud stomps are getting closer and closer to you. You realize it's not them.

.

.

.

The boys were just leaving and headed home, when Bucky's phone started ringing.

His phone displays your name in bolded letters across his screen. When he answered ,your voice was shaky and sounded like you were out of breath like you were trying to stay quiet.

“y/n?” he says his brows pinched in confusion, that you had called him.

“B’, there's someone in the apartment” you whisper the tears threatening to spill over.

He can hear the loud bangs from your side of the phone before it goes quiet.

“ y/n?” no answer “ y/n!” he calls out again.

The car comes to a halt, the New York rush coming at its favored time, Steve finds a place to pull off, Bucky gets out of the car running into the direction of the apartments. Sam and Steve followed suit.

After running for over ten minutes they reached at least the block of the apartment, the sirens and flashing lights from the ambulance and police cars lighting up the entire road.

Bucky's legs seemed to carry him fast at the sight.

Reaching the caution tape lining the entrance and all the neighbors standing outside.

Bucky's eyes frantically looked around for you, finding nothing.

Ducking under the caution tape, multiple officers rushing over.

“ Sir behind the tape” they urge, pushing him back toward the yellow tape.

“ no this is my apartments my roommate was in there”

A few of your neighbors confirm that he had lived here letting their grip on him go, Bucky ventures further into the circle of ambulances.

His eyes finally find you, your body soaking wet as you shiver in the cold air, your knees pressed to your chest as you sit on the edge of the ambulance's doors, your lips nearly blue.

“ Y/N!” he calls out before running to you.

You look up from the ground, your eyes meeting him as you shove off the blanket from your shoulders discarding it to the ground, sprinting towards him the tears finally slipping as you are now just realizing what had just happened.

Your body smashes into his wrapping your arms around his shoulders, his grip around your waist as your feet depart from the ground. Your face buried into the crevice of his neck sobbing as you feel the comfort of his embrace, his lips pressing to your temple.

“You’re safe now, I’m here.” he soothes, his hand smoothing your wet hair behind your ear.

Steve and Sam were finally let through the yellow caution tape scurrying to you.

“ Barnes can I talk to you?” Leslie asks , Leslie is your coworker that was working on the scene and your best friend. " She's gonna have some mild PTSD, she was almost killed, so just make sure she's okay and maybe don't let her sleep by herself tonight. make sure she feels safe please"

" What do you mean almost killed?" he questions.

"did they not tell you what happened?" she says with wide eyes, he shook his head " the man tried to drown her-"

Bucky joins back with you, your side pressed against him as his hand runs up your arms keeping you warm as the cold air leaves small bumps scattering across your skin.

Once they finally let you back into the apartment the boys decided that they didn’t want you to sleep alone for the night, so instead they brought out all the pillows and blankets they could find and stuffed them onto the couch.

You slept on the long side of the couch Sam and Bucky took the floor and Steve slept on the other side. The only light emitting into the room was the light from the tv.

you lay on the couch facing the cushion you body rising and falling as you breath, you were terrified to close your eyes.

You flip to your other side laying your hand over the edge reaching for Bucky’s hand laying on his stomach.

He’s eyes slowly open to look at you, that pad of his thumb running against the back of your hand.

“ Can I come lay with you?” You ask in a soft whisper leaning over the edge.

“ yeah” he replies, scooting over on the floor giving you a space between him and the couch. patting the empty spot next to him.

you slowly lower yourself into the spot laying your head against his shoulder and chest you body relaxing into his side.

you knew you were safe with the three hulking men that laid near you but you still felt uneasy, but strange enough a near death experience can do that.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

feed back is greatly appreciated to help me improve!. I’m taking requests in any form of contact you have with me either through my asks or my DM’s!

"we need to talk about something." You say next to Bucky as he looks at you, his eyes worries about something, maybe something he did.

"What is it, honey?" He asked nervously, he was surprised to himself he didn't stutter at all. He hears you take a deep breath, waiting on what you're gonna say.

"Why didn't you tell me you look good with long hair?" You raised your eyebrow whilst you narrow your eyes onto his. He felt a huge wave of relief and finally breathe the breath his been holding.

With a small playful pout that formed in your lips, he couldn't help but laugh. "Hey! It's not funny! Why didn't you tell me? You had a beard and everything too!"

"It never occur in our conversation, love." he kissed the top of your forehead as your pout lessen, but still there.

"I can't believe i'm dating someone this handsome." you muttered under your breath, without the super soldier serum, he wouldn't have heard it, but he did―he laughs.

"And I can't believe I'm dating someone this beautiful." he leaned forward and kiss your forehead and kiss the tip of your nose earning a giggle from you.

He could get used to this late night moments.

© 𝐋𝐔𝐕-𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐃 - all rights reserved. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate. please ask me first then credit me once you shared my work to other platforms.

𝑻𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆―𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭

Summary: After the unexpected meeting in the bookstore, he found himself constipating if he should call you or not.

Genre: Slight angst, Fluff (probably tooth rotting fluff).

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Warning: Few vulgar words, Brief mention of HYDRA, Brief mention of death and violence, Soft!Bucky (Soft!Bucky is still a warning).

n/a: I feel like this would turn into a mini-series because the amount of fluff and scenarios I think of whenever I'm writing or just dozing off is insane. I may not upload a lot considering there's also a lot of school work. Tell me where're my mistakes.

Continuation of Tales of Time—the classics section.

Tales of TIme vibe.

Bucky rolled over his bed for the hundredth time for the past hour and a half, he should be used to this. He’s used to staying up all night whilst watching the night sky, occasionally watching the moon, shining through the window. He’s used to going to the kitchen and making himself a cup of coffee or tea and sits in the dim-lighted common room and reads one of the books he can find.

Other times when he does get sleep, he’s usually interrupted with his nightmare. Nightmares filled with what HYDRA made him do, at least that is what he thinks. Even with Steve’s words of comfort saying that “it wasn’t you, Buck.” or “You didn’t have a choice.” He felt like he had a choice back then. It was his own body who killed hundreds of innocent people, he was there, he could have stopped it. Yet he wasn’t strong enough to break free, he wasn’t strong enough to fight back the winter soldier, he let it happen.

He could have fought his consciousness and escaped HYDRA’s grasp. He could have fought for his memories—memories with his mother and father, with his sister, Rebecca. And God if he had fought harder, he wouldn’t have killed Howard, his friend, and Tony Stark’s father.

He still remembers the feeling when he repeatedly punches Howard's head, breaking his skull. The sound of his skull cracking still stayed in his mind, reminding what he did. He remembers when he was done with him, he walked up to his wife, Maria Stark—and strangled her whilst she helplessly punched his metal arm as if it was gonna take damage. He had to watch her struggle until she inhaled her last breath, then the emotionless look he gave after he shot the security camera.

He was used to it, used to staying up all night. But he felt tonight was a little different. It wasn’t because he's having a hard time sleeping or it’s because of his nightmare, No. It was about you. You are keeping him up all night.

Your smile radiates like the sun, no―you radiate as his sun, the sun he never thought he could have. God forbid the way you look at him, the way your eye colour stands out like a gem, a specific gem that is worth more than a billionaire’s love. The way you look at him with adoration, comfort and fondness, unlike the usual stares he got—yours was different, it’s one of the reasons why he wanted to get to know you more.

Something draws him closer to you every time he looks at you. Maybe because of your smile? Or your small giggles and laughs? How when you manage to be the one who captures him, making his heart flutter?

He rolled in his bed once again, hugging his pillow tightly as he can without ripping it apart. He felt like a teen again, a teenage boy crushing over a girl, heat creeping up his neck and ears. Bucky burry’s his face in the pillow, it felt weird feeling this way. Your heart pounds every millisecond you think about someone you like, your heart warms up—butterflies flutter in your stomach. It’s somewhat painful for him, yet it felt so good. He had his hopes up, maybe you can get to know the real him more, and he can get to know you more too.

Feeling helpless for the past 2 hours of being in bed, he finally got up, deciding to make himself a cup of tea whilst he was awake. Grabbing a tank top on his wardrobe, slipping inside the top and grabbing a pair of shorts along the way.

Once he was decently dressed, he set off on the empty corridors of the compound. On nights where he would go to the kitchen, he's usually by himself, though there are instances that Natasha would be up sitting around the kitchen counter, sometimes occasionally Steve.

Bucky saw a dimmed light as it reflected through the tiles in the corridor, he knew someone was up. The sound of the kettle clanks alerting someone it’s done, He wonders if Tony was making his coffee to stay up all night cooped up in his lab—but then he remembers Tony had his own coffee machine in his lab.

When Bucky finally emerged in the kitchen, He didn’t see the usual redhead sitting or sipping a cup of water. He saw Steve, sitting on one of the seats with a cup in his hand, he saw how restless he was. He immediately had woken up from a nightmare, it wasn’t usual that he would get nightmares, but it doesn’t mean he never got one. When he does get nightmares, he usually leaves the room to get fresh air, sometimes tiring himself just to sleep.

“Hey, Buck.” Steve greeted with his usual smile on his face. “Hey.”

“There is still hot water left in the kettle,” Bucky said a small thanks as he reached for a mug and a bag of tea. Setting the tea bag in the mug, he poured the hot water as it drowns the bag full of leaves, he grabbed the honey jar and added the right amount of honey as he stirred―letting the honey mix with the tea, he removed the tea bag and threw it in the trash can.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Steve asked as gently as possible not wanting to startle him about his nightmare, but Bucky only shook his head as he took a seat on the hair in front of him. “Not really…” Steve raised a brow as he looked at Bucky with his head low.

“Can’t sleep?”

“No… I just have something in my mind…” He replied almost in a whisper, if it weren’t for the serum, Steve wouldn’t have heard what he said, Steve saw a small flare of pink perk upon his ear. Bucky wasn’t really lying that he had something on his mind, but it wasn’t something, it was someone—“You mean someone?” Bucky raised his head faster than he expected earning a smirk on Steve's face, his cheeks flared up even more. Busted.

“Stop with the eat-shitting grin, Rogers.” Bucky tried composing himself, taking a small sip on his hot tea as he shyly looked away. Steve laughed at his response, sometimes he can predict what Bucky is thinking—it's impressive how he knew his best friend well. “Sorry sorry.” Bucky sends a playful glare at Steve who’s still laughing a little.

“So… you're thinking of her?” Steve took a sip as he patiently waited for his answer. “Uh, yeah, sort of.” To be honest, Bucky doesn’t know either—all of this just confuses him, the constant feeling of being on cloud nine while your voice rang in his ears.

“What do you mean, sort of?”

“I just-” Steve watches his best friend struggle to get the right words out, he begins fidgeting a little as he tries to find the right words to say. “Take your time, Buck.” and just like that, Bucky suddenly stopped fidgeting. He began taking deep breaths trying to compose himself.

“I just- It feels weird feeling like this, you know? I feel like a teen again, crushing over a girl who I barely knew, and I wanna get to know her more but every time I look at her, I get nervous and when she talks to me or says my name I became flustered and God-” He covered his face with both of his hand, he feels so embarrassed talking about this as his face is fully flushed. He felt his face redden more as Steve laughed at his state as Steve covered his mouth trying to contain his remaining laugh.

“Come on man! Her smile was everything too, when she smiled at me, I felt like it was over. She’s so beautiful and ethereal it's unreal at this point. I made a fool out of myself when she called me cute.” At this point, Steve laughed his heart out. Steve almost couldn’t believe what he heard and saw, it was rare for Bucky to be flustered, even in the ’40s. He was a ladies man, women are usually head over heels over Bucky—seeing his best friend getting flustered and shy about a woman was amusing.

“Steven. Grant. Rogers.” Steve’s laugh immediately died down as he turned his head to see a fuming redhead with her arm crossed tapping her foot on the tile. Bucky silently laughed as Steve took a gulp, he knew he fucked up, He had woken Natasha up—waking up Natasha is like a death wish.

“N-Natasha.”

“Why the fuck are you crackling so loudly in the middle of the night?”

“I-I just couldn’t contain my laughter when—”

“Oh stop making excuses.” Natasha finally dropped the little argument and proceeded to walk into the kettle. “Sorry, did we wake you up?” Bucky asked as Natasha grabbed a tea bag on the bod and put it on her mug.

“Not really, I woke up from a nightmare, then I heard Steve crackling at midnight.” Steve coughed trying to hide his embarrassed demeanour as he sipped on his mug. “Why are you two awake?” She asked, blowing the hot water to cool off a little and taking a small sip at her cup. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Bucky’s talking about his crush.” Bucky nearly choked on his tea, some droplets fell out of his mouth. If it wasn’t for self-control, he would have spat the drink into Steve’s face—though he wished it happened.

“Steve–”

“Barnes has a crush, huh?” Natasha put her sly smirk on her lips as she wiggled her eyebrows. “You two are a menace, I’m glad Sam isn’t here.”

“What did you say about me?” Sam suddenly crept up on the corner of the hallway, peeping his head out with an eat-shitting grin plastered on his face. At this point, he was beyond embarrassed now that Sam had heard this conversation. “Have you’ve been listening to our conversation—”

“The whole time, metal man.”

“Oh stop with that eat-shitting grin, Birdman”

Sam took a seat next to Steve as Natasha took a seat next to Bucky. “Is she nice?” Sam asked with a hint of concern in his tone. Even if Sam teases him a hundred times, or when he bickered with him—He knew deep down, He cared about him, like the others. He knew that he was forgiven for what he’s done, yet he is still having a hard time accepting it.

“Yeah, she does.” Bucky smiled, for the first time, the others saw how Bucky smiled at her, at you. The three smiled at him, knowing he was finally accepting himself and starting to love again. “Well, shoot your shot,” Natasha suggested.

“What.”

“You heard me, Shoot your shot, you’ll never know what will happen.”

I-I don’t know.” Bucky lowered his head, looking at his tea that cooled off a bit. He didn’t know what would happen if shoot his shot. He thinks you’ll reject him, or maybe if you like him too, he’ll hurt you, or HYDRA will kidnap you. There are so many possibilities, he doesn’t want any of them to happen.

“I don’t know if she likes me.”

“You said earlier that she thinks you’re cute, considering she said that maybe she liked you too,” Steve interjected, knowing Bucky, his insecurities were seeping through.

“Woah Woah Woah. hang on, she said you were cute?” Sam intervened as he put his elbow on the counter and rested his head on his palm. “I thought you were listening to everything?”

“I was! Well, I couldn’t hear it well because someone whispered it.”

“Yeah sure.” Bucky’s heart swells knowing he can count on his friends on anything, these kinds of moments, he treasures it deeply. As it hit around 3 AM, all of them decided to head back to their own respective rooms to try and have a shut-eye. When Bucky grabbed his door handle, he felt a hand on his shoulder—looking over his shoulder, he saw Sam with a small smile, not that teasing or annoying smile, it was like an unspoken word of encouragement.

“Shoot your shot man. You can do it. Good night Bucky.”

“Good night Sam.”

When he finally entered his room, he looked over the paper you slipped in the book you gave. Eleven digits, He only needs to put those eleven digits in his phone, and he’ll be able to call you. He somehow felt excited—just the thought of him calling you. It drives him crazy.

“No, I can't do it.” Bucky paced in his room as he held both of his hands. He never understood why people get anxious when they want to call someone, why they have to pass it to their parents, siblings, or even their friends. He never understood it, until now.

Bucky has been trying to call you for the past hour, every time he tries to hit the call button, he gets nervous and sets his phone on his bed. She might be busy, He thought to himself, he glanced at his phone as your number is already typed in.

He picks up his phone once again, taking deep breaths that his therapist has taught him. He finally got the courage to call you as he pressed the call button.

You were watching a movie in your room when your phone started to buzz, you paused the movie to look over who was calling only to find the caller ID unknown. At first, you were confused—you gave someone your phone number, and if you didn’t—you thought they were spammers who were trying to scam or even hack your phone. But you suddenly remembered you gave your phone number to bucky.

You blushed remembering writing your phone number while he was closing the bookstore, and damn that was a weak way to give someone your number. You collectively stopped your racing heart and blushing face finally picking up the phone before it missed the call.

“Hello?” Your voice was a bit wary, thinking it was someone else, but a wave of relief was immediately washed over you when you heard his voice on the other line. “Hi.”

“Hi, Bucky” You can feel your smile growing wide as your cheeks begin to hurt. Somehow, you were glad that he isn’t here, you probably look like a fool right now. Bucky smiled when you picked up, an unexpected wave of relief washed over his mind, easing his running mind.

“Hey, how are you?”

“I’m good, just taking it easy, um…” You trailed off feeling embarrassed with what you wanted to say, “Do you need something? Or tell me something?” He asked as his voice was full of concern. He looks like a guy that when something is wrong, even if it's big or small, he’ll come to your apartment immediately.

“No no I’m fine, it's just that…” you trailed off gathering your breath as Bucky waited patiently on the other line. “I was kinda waiting for your call, It made me happy when you called.” you manage to say the words without stuttering as you can feel the heat creeping up to your neck, you didn’t mean to sound cheesy at all.

Bucky felt a heat creeping up to his face, making him flustered. He didn’t think you were waiting for him to call, if he knew, he would have called you sooner. You were glad he called you, you were happy that he called you—never knew he could feel this way towards someone.

“Bucky?” Shit, he realized he was caught in his imagination and forgot to reply. “Sorry, I kinda zoned out.”

“You gotta stop saying sorry once in a while.” You chuckled, shutting down your laptop and putting it on your bedside table. Your heart bounced as you heard Bucky’s laugh. You swear to God he’s gonna be the death of you someday.

“Will you come to visit someday?” You blurted out without thinking, you smacked your mouth with your hand, now your face is fully red. This is so embarrassing, you thought as you controlled yourself to just jump off the balcony out of embarrassment. “I-Its okay if you don’t want to, I totally understand—”

“—I’ll visit tomorrow.” He cuts you off. God, your cheeks were heating up, you could probably cook something in it.

There’s something that draws you into him furthermore you talk to him. Maybe the way he talks to you? The way he looks at you? The way he helped you even if you two just met? Or maybe the fact he’s willing to take care of you and even come into your apartment? You haven’t realized, you were whipped for him.

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna bother you or anything…”

“You’re not, I promise. I’ve… been meaning to visit you anyway.”

You brighten upon hearing those words, I’ve been meaning to visit you anyway. Just thinking about it makes you excited, you had hoped the time would fly by fast for today, you just couldn’t wait.

“Okay, come by around 2 pm, is that okay?” Bucky didn’t miss his heart and skipped a beat. You asked him if it’s okay to come around 2 pm. You. God, he felt like he was on clouds, floating around the sky.

“Y-yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Ah! Sorry, Bucky, I have to hang up, I need to do something.”

“No no, It’s okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow Bucky.”

He heard his phone hang up, he grinned so sweetly as he stared at his phone. He couldn’t believe what has been happening to him, he couldn’t believe you made him like this without even trying. He felt so relieved, you haven’t seen him in the worst of him—a killer and an assassin. Yet he felt scared, knowing in any moment of these days, you will know what he truly is, a killing machine who would kill anyone if they stand in their way.

But… somehow he felt hope in those eyes of yours. Those eyes of yours hold nothing but love, acceptance and kindness. He felt heat creep up to his neck when he thought of him coming into your apartment tomorrow. Yet, he was excited, he haven’t realized, he was whipped for you.

© 𝐋𝐔𝐕-𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐃 - all rights reserved. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate. please ask me first then credit me once you shared my work to other platforms.

𝑻𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆―𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯

Summary: In a desperate time to escape the others, he went out for the first time without any company when he found a bookstore with an interesting owner inside.

Song recommendation: Ophelia by The Lumineers.

Genre: Fluff, a smidge of Angst.

Pairing: Bucky x F!Reader

Warning: Mention of HYDRA, Minor injury, Soft!Bucky (that needs to be a warning).

n/a: First time writing in 3/4 months. I kinda got lost in my anime phase so I didn't write that much, I've been obsessed with MARVEL again and just having scenarios in my head full of them so I made this! Let me know if you want a part 2, I have plans.

2nd Part.

Tales of Time vibe.

Bucky never felt at home, even if he lives in the compound―He never felt comfortable in the large common room; either it is full of his teammates―where they hang out or watch movies, or when he does get peace in the common’s room, he could hear Steve and Tony’s bickering.

For the past 70 years of living in HYDRA, he never felt peace. For as long as he can remember, the only peace he ever gets is when he was left alone in the cell―yet that doesn’t give him the peace he wants. He wants peace, the kind of peace where he can be free, free from worry, insomnia, anxiety, nightmares, and the person from 70 years ago that HYDRA made. The Winter Soldier.

The last time he felt home was way back, in 1943. Though they were in the middle of World War II, he was able to sense peace with his best friend, Steve Rogers. A scrawny man who never gave up on helping on an ongoing war despite his condition, he never gave up. It’s what Bucky likes about Steve. He’s so persistent and selfless, it’s incredible there is a man like him.

Ever since the incident of HYDRA, he was never the same. He never had that smile he used to wear every day, even to Steve, he never smiled so genuinely. Every time someone tries to touch him, he backs away and turns around, not wanting to hurt them. He was so used to what HYDRA made him he never found the good in other things the world may give him.

At 3 pm on a Friday, he decided to leave the compound to have new scenery and to get away from the bickering and the awkward silence he had to endure. But one problem, he doesn’t know where to go. Sure he can go anywhere, the government pardoned him from his actions, yet somehow, he still feels he’s being stared at as a fugitive or a threat to others. Yet he left the compound.

He's been roaming around the small town of Brooklyn, He notices the big changes for the past 70 years yet there are still some things that were kept over the years. As he walks more, the more he feels slightly… at home.

There weren’t many people in the streets, most of them just glanced at him for a moment then mind their own business, or they were minding their own business listening to music. It was nice. He hasn’t felt like he was constantly being stared at ever since he was out on the ice.

Walking down the streets, a small bookstore caught his eye, looking upon the sign, ‘Tales of Time.’ A small sign was written in calligraphy with white and dark sage green for the background―looking at the front window, it had the logo of the store with vines, then― he sees the a-board in the ground; written in hand, what caught his eye was the store hours. ‘Monday to Saturday. 10 AM - 7 PM.’

He was contemplating if he should enter, yet he went anyway. The sound of the bell gently rang across the store, alerting workers that someone entered. The aura that this place gave was calming, soft music playing in the background. He can feel his once tense shoulder relax a bit, his eyes fall upon the counter where no one was. At first, he thought it was weird but then thought maybe they were putting books back where they were supposed to be.

He saw a ‘Reading corner’ at the corner of his vision, he thought for a moment, Should I read here? He didn’t think much of it and went searching for a book that could maybe interest him, he went inside for a reason. Searching through the bookshelves, he finally found the classics section.

Whilst scrolling through the books, he was endorsed on how many books he recognizes, he didn’t even realize, he zoned out. His eyes landed on the specific book, ‘The Hobbit.’

He remembered that day when it came out, he went to the bookstore and bought a copy of it. He finds himself suppressing a smile just thinking about the fond memory he had. Deciding to buy it, he touched the book to pull it out of the shelf, a delicate hand appeared reaching for the same book―his eyes snapped when he saw that he was reaching for the book with his metal arm.

“Ah! I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were gonna take the book.” A voice rang through his ear, retracting his arm, he finally looked at the owner of the voice, He saw a woman, slightly younger than him. She wore a simple long sleeve turtle neck and high waist jeans, yet someone with this woman did something to him that he couldn’t understand.

He felt warmth, his heart fluttering. A feeling he hasn't felt since his ’40s. A small tint of pink flares on his ear. God, he’s making a fool of myself.

“N-no It's okay.” He stuttered. He felt a little embarrassed that he was acting this way. What the hell is wrong with me? He thought taking a shy glance at the woman's face, her face was ethereal.

“You can take it.” He offered as he gestures for the woman to take the book, but she shook her head once and looked at his Cobalt coloured eyes. “No no, I was simply gonna take it where the other The Hobbit books were.” She stated, he didn’t even know he tensed up. “What’s your name?” She asked as her eyes showed genuine curiosity, he suppressed a chuckle, he thought for a moment―If she found out, would she be scared? But the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to get to know her, such a mysterious woman who had done something to him.

“Bucky, Bucky Barnes.” He introduced himself as he gestured a handshake on his physical hand, for the first time in a few years he's been with Seve or the others, he has a genuine smile plastered on his face. “What about you?”

“Y/N, Y/N L/N.” You reached for his hand, and he swore to God, Your hands were soft and delicate, Like the hands of a Goddess. If he can see his face right now, he probably looks so stupid with the grin plastered around his face and how he probably have heart eyes―he internally slapped himself, Pull yourself together bucky, you just met.

“Well Bucky, If you’d like to buy it, please take it―look around for some books you’d like to read. I’d be organizing somewhere, ring the bell if I’m nowhere to be found.” You said bending down to grab the small box of half-filled books on the ground, the way you say his name makes his heart bounce, God you’re really something. “Do you need help with that?” he asked politely, looking through your features, you seemed tired, has she been working this entire time without a break?

“No no, it’s okay, you keep going on with your day, but thank you for the offer though.” you beamed up but before he could reply, you slowly left the aisle he was in. He didn’t miss the small disappointment he felt though he didn’t understand why. Looking back, you were the first one who ever got to see his smile without even trying to.

In an attempt of wanting to see you again, he grabbed the Hobbit book and swiftly searched for the woman in the store. Being an ex-assassin, he was able to find you without grabbing attention whatsoever. He pretended to search for some books that may interest him, some of the books did grab his attention, he even looked at the back of some books to see what it said. But you grabbed his attention without even trying.

In the corner of his eye, he can see you in a stool trying to get a box out of the shelf but you were a little short, seeing you on your tippy toe trying to make a difference in your height was… let's say adorable for him. But he didn’t miss the way the stool was shaking, looking at the right leg of the stool, he noticed that it was about to break.

Without hesitation, he quickly set his book down on a nearby table and walked behind you. “Hey, be careful you might fall―” “Bucky―” His voice came behind you unexpectedly and you stumbled back putting all your weight on the stool, breaking the right leg.

His eyes widened when he heard the wooden leg break, with his super-soldier serum, he was able to hear it break. He fastens his pace, as you were about to fall on your back, a pair of hands wrapped around your upper hip and you landed on someone’s chest. Your cheeks began to heat up as you looked behind and saw Bucky and your eyes met.

His blue eyes were full of concern, and god forbid the way his eyebrows were furrowed―his eyes were full of concern as he scanned you if you got hurt. Bucky felt a pair of eyes staring at him. At first, he thought it was the people, the people who think of him as a threat or a fugitive, but raising his head to have a good look at your face, he saw you stare at him.

His eyebrows relaxed as his eyes landed on yours. He didn’t feel judgement, nor an outcast, he felt… accepted, he felt like those eyes didn’t hold grudge against him, he felt like he didn’t have to worry about being a threat or a fugitive―he felt like he could be himself. He snapped as he felt you push him away. He frowned, he noticed you blushing when he got a glimpse of your face as you tilt your head down―almost as if you were embarrassed.

“I-I’m sorry, I bothered you or anything you didn’t-” “Are you alright?” He cuts you off, bringing your head up, he smiled, the same smile he has shown you early on. “Are you alright? Does it hurt somewhere?” His gentle voice almost made you cry. You were never used to this type of people, people who were gentle and easy to talk to, people who genuinely care for others even though they haven’t met, you were so used to giving care, love, and everything to others in return, you forgot how nice it feels for someone to do something like that.

You snapped back from reality as quickly as you can, “I am, I’m very sorry for disturbing you.” You didn’t want to look at his eyes, you didn’t know why he just makes things difficult for you to look into his blue ocean eyes. “You didn’t disturb me, I should be the one apologizing. I noticed your stool was about to give up, I should have known that I might startle you, I’m sorry.” he let out a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood as he earned a smile from your face.

“At least let me make it up to you.” you plead as you tried to get closer to him but end up stumbling on your foot as you felt a sharp pain in your ankle, luckily, he was fast enough to catch you. “Hey, what's wrong?” Looking for a nearby chair, he found one around 15 steps away from him. “My ankle suddenly hurts―” A small yelp escaped from your mouth as Bucky lifted you at ease with his arms. I’m supposed to be taking care of them as the owner, not them taking care of me.

He gently sat you in the chair as you kept your head low, “Can I check your ankle?” You merely nod, not trusting your voice. Surprisingly, he was gentle with you, he focused on examining your foot, twisting and turning your right ankle, when he went to your left ankle, you winced. That's pretty bad, you thought as you sensed Bucky's frown.

“I think you twisted your ankle when you landed, sorry” he apologized, a small smile crept up on your face, “I should be the one apologizing for being a hassle.” He was taken back from your words, he looked up as he saw you already staring at him, “The Owner should be helping the customer.” You smiled at him, he swears he could see your eyes sparkled for a moment, with every smile you give him—his heart flutters.

You were like a drug, a drug that intoxicates you into taking more—it’s so addicting. He knew you just met him, but he wonders if he’ll ever see you again. He wonders if he can see your beautiful face again, he wonders if he can hear your voice again. A small smile crept upon his lips.

“Well… At least let me take care of you while you heal.” He offered. In all honesty, he didn’t expect to talk to someone during his walk around Brooklyn. He wonders what would happen if he never went into this bookstore in the first place.

Before you speak up, he puts his thumb on your lips—you paused as he towers over you. Sitting in comfortable silence with a grin plastered on his face whilst your dumbfounded features face him. Fortunately for you two, there weren’t many customers around this time, you somehow thank that you just opened 2 months ago, not many people knew this store.

Bucky realized what he did, his thumb on your lips, towering over you, he became flustered. God, how did this happen? He slowly removed his thumb over your lips, he didn’t see how your lips curved into a smile, “I-I’m sorry I overstepped…” He’s such a mess, he overstepped the person who he wished he wanted to get to know. Before his thoughts got out of hand, a small giggle erupted as he looked at you.

“W-what?” He let out a small chuckle.

“Nothing. It’s really cute when you get flustered.” His cheeks are now painted with a pink hue, She thinks I'm cute? Her words can’t wrap around his brain.

“I can’t say no, can’t I?”

“On what?”

“You taking care of me?’

He suddenly remembers, he asked her if he can take care of her while she heals, he internally smiled at himself. He knew he wouldn’t take no for an answer, he was too stubborn to take no, especially in your current situation. “I won’t allow it.” He set his pumping heart aside and grinned. “Well, I supposed I should close soon, don’t I?” You tried standing up but a large hand stopped you from doing so.

“I’ll do it.”

“Bucky—”

“No, I’ll do it.”

You slumped against the back of the chair, he was so stubborn, you kinda like it about him. You reached for your pockets looking for the key to the store—when you found it, you pulled it out of your pocket and handed it to Bucky with a string of confusion on his face.

“The key of the store, you’re the one who’s gonna lock up, right? Or do you want me to do it?” You teased with a light tone, he fumbled as he took the keys in your hand. “Ah, right.” You helped him close the store. Since you can’t stand up, you only use your voice to guide him, luckily for you, he was able to pick up the instructions you gave him.

Once you’ve fully closed, you put up a sign in the front of the store that said, ‘Close until further notice. We’ll be back!’ Bucky helped you walk across the street where he originally parked his bike, “Sorry for making you walk, I didn’t think I parked my bike further.” “You shouldn’t apologize, you didn’t know this would happen.” You said with a small chuckle, you limped across the sidewalk with Bucky’s arms clinging around your waist.

Whilst walking in silence, bucky stopped, making you stop as well. “Bucky? Are you okay?” you asked, you were confused when he let go of your waist. Before you question what he’s doing, he crouched down in front of you and gestured for you to hop on his back. “Bucky, stand up, it’s fine I can walk a little further.” “You know I’m too stubborn for a no.”

He was right, whatever you say to him, he’ll not take no for an answer, after a few seconds, you finally gave in, you slowly climbed into his back trying to find a comfortable position. Bucky held your thigh as he stood up—it surprised you how he’s carrying you like you were a feather, but you didn’t judge. His physical appearance didn’t go unnoticed when you first saw him, though you didn’t pay any attention to it, you couldn’t help how strong he was.

“Y/N.”

“Hm?”

“Where do you live?”

You saw that he was getting rear where his bike was, you then recited where you live. A decent apartment building around 10 blocks away from the store. You personally picked the apartment to be a little closer to the store with only a 15-minute walk.

He slowly drops you down, carefully setting your injured foot on the ground. He grabbed his keys into his pocket and began starting the bike, “Can you climb on your own?” You snapped at your daze, realizing that Bucky offered the seat behind him. “Y-yeah, of course.”

You slowly climbed up the seat, your chest resting at Bucky’s broad back as you wrapped both of your arms around his waist. With a small nod, Bucky started to drive.

You two sat in silence—comfortable silence. The wind gently gushed your face as your face rested on Bucky’s broad back. He was thankful that you didn’t get to see his burning face, the fact that you are so close to him, the first person to have the closest physical contact with. It didn’t feel real that someone can be this close to him, he still felt like he was dreaming.

“That building.” Your voice pulls him into reality as he saw you point at a building on his left. Soon after, he parked his bike in the bike parking lot in front of the apartment, he helped you get off his bike as you stumbled on your foot, landing on Bucky’s chest.

“My apartment is on the 2nd floor, you can drop me off here.” You wanted to convince yourself that you didn’t want him to drop you off by the door, but they've done so much in your first meeting it's kinda ridiculous. “At least let me drop you off by your door.” He pleads with his eyes. God his eyes are radiating a puppy who wants something, you can’t say no to those eyes.

“Fine, your so stubborn.”

“Thank you.”

You laughed alongside him with his arms wrapped around your waist, you didn’t want this day to end.

Once you’ve reached in front of your door, he waited for you to enter inside. He’s such a gentleman, you thought finally hearing the doorknob clicks. He sees a small portion of your room when you opened it a little. Plants sitting nicely on the window, with a white and cream coloured wallpaper in the background. It suits her.

“Thank you Bucky, you really didn’t have to do this.”

“I told you, I want to.”

His smile made your heart flutter yet it warms your heart. There’s something more to him that really interest you, you suddenly remember the book he placed on the table you were able to get. “Oh! Before I forget.” Bucky watches you search through your bag, he thought you were cute when you perked up like a puppy when you found what you were looking for.

“Here’s the book you wanted, Don’t worry, it’s free.” he could see a small blush creeping up to your skin, “I can’t take it, I have to pay you.”

“No no, take it. You’ve done a lot today and I know this isn’t much but I just wanted to thank you for what you've done.” He was hesitant to take the book, but with one look in your eyes, he can’t help but take it not wanting to disappoint you.

“Thank you, Y/N. Uh- I better head out, someone might be looking for me, I didn’t tell them I was going out.” “Oh! Of course, Bye bucky, see you again soon.” Your smile shot him straight to his heart, it was ethereal. See you again soon, You wanted to see him again, You wanted to see him again, he feels like he's dreaming. “S-see you soon.” He watched you close your door, he heard a small squeal on the opposite of the door, he looked at the book in his hand, The Hobbit.

He flipped some pages when a small piece of paper fell out. Confused, he leaned down to check what was written on it, his eyes widened with the realization that you have put your number on it.

Looking at the time, it was 6:30 PM, it was getting dark, He left the building with a smile on his face.

“Have you guys seen Buck?” Steve asked Sam and Natasha who was sitting in the kitchen leaning at the kitchen counter. “Maybe he’s in his room,” Sam suggested.

“No, he isn’t, I checked.”

“I think I saw him left earlier.” Natasha piped in. “Left?” Steve questioned, but before any of them could say, Natasha saw Bucky emerge in the commons room, “Hey Buck.” Her greet alerted the two men that he’s here.

“Hey.”

“Where were you?”

“Just went out.”

“What’s that book in your hand?”

He looked over his hand where the book was and showed it, “Oh, I went to a bookstore, the owner gave it to me for free for helping her.” The three didn’t miss the small smile he gave just by mentioning the bookstore owner, Sam was interested.

“Was she cute?” Sam teased, Bucky realized that he momentarily mentioned you with a small smile, He’s not gonna let that go.

“Fuck off, Samuel.” Sam laughed after his statement as Bucky migrated to his room. Meanwhile, Steve was happy he found someone to make him happy, but it didn’t cross his mind who was he talking about.

“Let it go, Sam. He’s Lovestruck.” Natasha said with a smile on her face. “Oh come on! I’m interested in who makes his icy heart melt?”

© I do not allow any act of plagiarism, repost and translation in my work. All work belongs to me.

Finding Home Epilogue

Chapter 25

We spent almost six months at that little cottage. We shut off our phones and spent the time fixing anything that needed attention around the house. We even managed to go to the capital city and make the little house officially ours.

At night, when we couldn’t do any repairs, we worked on ourselves. We got re-acquainted with each other and worked to figure out what our future would hold.

As much as we loved being away from the chaos, we knew we needed to return. We knew, deep down, we needed that chaos to give our lives purpose honestly, but we also knew we would never have to battle through it alone again.

Returning to the Tower was the most oddly bitter-sweet moment. I was happy to see my friends again, but I knew I'd have to share Bucky with them too.

After the initial welcome home, Bucky and I made our way up to our floor. We decided to utilize his room as a spare area for all three of us to store things while using my room as our actual bedroom. Taking our time, we unpacked in almost complete silence.

It was nice to have the same quiet as the cottage - save for the sounds of the city life outside our open window, of course. However, they were strangely just as calming as the sounds of our home.

Once we put everything in the proper place, we showered and changed before making our way to rejoin the rest of the misfits in the main common room. Everyone is sitting around, having some drinks, and just enjoying a fun evening without any distractions or disturbances.

“So, ” Natasha finally speaks up. I knew it would be her - or Steve. “Where did you two run off to? You were missing for six months,” there is a slight tone of bitterness, but she is teasing. “No contact or anything. All we had was Fury’s word that you two were safe.”

I smile a small smile. “We were fine. We just needed a little time away to clear our heads and figure out how we were going to move forward.” I keep my tone neutral, but when I feel Bucky’s hand squeeze mine, I can feel the corners of my lips curling up into a smirk.

“And you decided on - ?” Nat prompts.

“We have a house for ourselves, away from the rest of the world, that we can retreat to if we need. But inevitably, we knew we needed to come back here. Through everything, you guys are our family.”

Tony bit in with his usual snark, “So, no more running off and hiding then, Marena?”

“No, Stark,” I reply. “No more running off. I’m here to stay - if you’ll have me, of course.”

“Well, Petrova, that depends. This Tower was intended for Avengers only,” he raises a brow, hoping for the best response. He is baiting me, playing with me the way he plays with people. I am too used to it to challenge it, but...

“I see,” I respond. “Well, if that is - in fact - the case, then I guess I don’t have a choice.” I shrug and stand up, walking toward the elevators.

“Petrova!” I turn back to face everyone, “Stark didn’t mean it. Come on back and sit down.” Steve chuckles a little seeing the smirk I have on my face as I happily make my way back.

“And what about you, Buck? Are you holding up okay?” Steve looks at his friend, a little concerned but hopeful.

There is a beat of a pause, and his lips are pursed contemplatively - truly considering the answer. “Yeah,” he finally answers. “I’m good. I have my girl, we have our family, and I finally found that feeling of home again.” He smiles, pulling me into his lap as I get close.

I kiss him gently on his cheek, murmuring, “We’ve searched for our home for so long. I’m glad we finally found it.”

"I'll always find home, my Queen." He says with a slight smirk.

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Finding Home Chapter 25

Chapter 24

It had been only a couple of weeks since I left the Tower.

Despite that, the days dragged on, making it feel like months had passed.

Had I made the right choice? Was it best for him that I left?  

As that first week dragged by, I watched as the little cottage began to sparkle.

Dust - taking days in itself to finally be removed entirely - no longer clung to every surface. Subsequently, I removed the cloth covering the couch and chair, and I got my first look at the furniture that I sat on so many times before. Furthermore, the windows were bright enough to see out of, for the first time in who knows how many years.

This was the first time I had seen this cottage looking like a home. Despite all the times I had been inside, I never took the time to clean. To make it look like someone was using it, let alone living in it. Instead, I had always left it in shambles, just as it had been when he was using it.

I couldn’t do that this time though. With the memories it held, it deserved to look like a home again.

Looking around the cottage, finally clean and appearing as it should, I can’t help the nostalgia that lingers.

That is when I hear a pounding at the door.

*Boom! Boom! Boom!*

It isn’t the knocking of someone just looking to welcome a new neighbor. This is someone who, if determined enough, would break the door down to get at whatever - or whoever - is inside.

“I know you’re in there, Petrova! Open the damn door!” His voice booms.

How the hell?

*Boom! Boom! Boom!*

“Damn it, Petrova! Open up!” He yells again. “Please?” Suddenly his tone changes. Not rough and loud like it had been. But instead, quiet and -- powerless.

I stand there. In utter disbelief. Completely silent.

Sure, I tossed a loophole into the note. And sure, a small part of me had hoped he’d figure it out. I had just expected it would take longer.

Frozen in my spot, unable to move, let alone utter a sound. I just listen to him on the other side of the solid door.

*Boom! Boom! Boom!* Again he tries pounding on the door but is met with silence.

“Fine - don’t open it yet. Just listen.” His tone is full of despair.

I’m not willing to leave my spot, not yet. So I sit on the floor where I am, listening in silence.

“Look, Petrova, I don’t know what made you think that the right choice was running away. After years apart, years of running, years of keeping this - this wall up, you finally had the chance to be happy - to be home - again. And your first instinct was to run instead?”

I hear his left arm thud against the frame of the door and listen to the distinct sound of the plates moving as he flexes his arm, clenching his fist in frustration.

“They aren’t Hydra, Marena. There’s nothing bad that can come of us - either of us - being happy. Let alone being together. Hell, if it weren’t for Natasha, I’d have taken a hell of a lot longer to figure out where the hell you’d run off to.”

Natalia. Of course. I should have known she’d be able to pick the clue out of that damn note. She wouldn’t know what it meant, but that didn’t matter.

I stand up and quietly walk to the door. Standing there, silent still, resting my hand against the middle of the solid wood structure, knowing full well that Bucky had a hand just opposite. That if it weren’t for the obstacle between us, our hands would touch — melding into each other.

“Everyone wants you to come back. But I won’t force you. Please, open the door.”

I close my eyes tight as I unlock the door, stepping back far enough for it to open without a problem.

After a moment, Bucky turns the handle and pushes the door, watching it open slowly until it lightly bounces gently against the wall.

“You shouldn’t have come, my Soldier. I’ve caused you far too much pain for you to -”

“I’ve caused you a fair share of pain too, my Queen. Stop focusing on it. Pain happens; anyone can cause it. But that love, that happiness, that euphoric bliss that we feel when we’re together? That can only be caused by one other.”

He calmly makes his way into the cottage and wastes no time wrapping me in a tight embrace.

“If you don’t want to come back to the Tower Petrova, then fine. I said I wouldn’t force you. But don’t run away just out of fear. You need a better reason than that to avoid me.”

Separating slightly, I look up into his eyes.

“Besides, no matter where you try to run off to, I’ll find you.”

“How did you figure out where I was? I mean, you said Nat helped you find the clue, but you would have had to decipher it.”

“‘It will serve as a memory of our love.’ This?” He looks around at the cottage as he continues. “This is where we said our final goodbye all those years ago. This was also the cottage you were hiding in when Fury found you.”

I look at him with bewilderment.

“Yea. I knew where you were. They didn’t tell me to continue that mission though, they sent me on a different one, but I had to know you were okay. This was the first place I looked because I knew it was as close to home as you would feel.”

“I guess I’ll have to find a new cottage to hide out in then.” I chuckle as I lay my head against his chest.

His voice soft as he places a kiss on the top of my head, “it won’t matter where you go. I’ll always find you, Marena.”

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