*Leafing Through The Monster Manual* Transition Goals, Transition Goals, Transition Goals....

What can I do, sir?

Just say the word, sir

Anything for you, sir

Your friends all say, sir

You don't deserve her

I disagree, sir

I live to serve, sir

reblog if u like titties

Summon kitten.

It doesn’t do anything mechanically speaking, but it makes a little mewing noise and watches with big wide eyes as an army of hobgoblins stab you 4,000,000,000 times.

depression or whatever is soooo embarrassing oops i ruined a large chunk of my future because i just didn’t feel like doing anything for a while . Epic Cringe babe...

radio is kind of wild really, the first thing we did after discovering an ethereal field that permeates the universe is infuse it with music.

Almost all of Indiana is terrible, but I really don’t think Carmel gets enough derision. Fucking Carmel! Tacky, overpriced, full of rich people, and littered with shitty statues. I hate it!

There are statues all over the sidewalks downtown, but they’re not cool statues. They’re not commemorating important historical figures, they’re not creative artistic pieces, they’re not interactive. They’re just unsettling, obtrusive, and garishly-painted statues of random civilians who look like residents of Pleasantville, like “old woman with grocery bag”:

or “white cop poised to jokingly slap your ass for a photo”:

and “corporate shill taking up bench space to keep homeless people from sleeping on it”:

They’re always in the way, they never move when you say “excuse me”, you’re constantly mistaking them for real people, and they’re UGLY. They’re so UGLY! 

Dear Carmel, scrap them all and hire living statues. Mimes. I will forgive you cursed city for its crimes if you become the mime hotspot of Indiana. 

snake……… on………… meeeee………… (snake on me)

snake…… meeeee…….. OOOOOOON (SNAKE ON ME)