One-sided Radiostatic Has Me On Chokehold.

Grian should've stayed in the Red Velvet Cake and played wack-a-mole with anyone who popped their head out of the ground looking for the sugarcane.

*in a gang fight*

Kaz: You know, my wraith says that I shouldn't insult people much so I'll be nice

Also Kaz: But also, my wraith isn't here anymore SO TAKE THAT MOTHERFUCKER

Jesper: *about Kaz* Is he still mad at us?

Inej: You more than me, I'm having his child

Jesper: THATS NOT FAIR I CANT DO THAT.

I'm tired of being a girl kisser with no girl to kiss 😠

@roach-works // Melissa Broder, "Problem Area" // Mary Oliver, "The Return" // @annavonsyfert // Koyoharu Gotouge, Demon Slayer // Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance // David Levithan, How They Met and Other Stories // Tennessee Williams, Notebooks

I’m not kidding when I say Grian said “Your marriage is over Joel’s with me”. The bitch loves being a homewrecker I guess

[Transcript Start:

Jimmy: -just a way to support

Lizzie: Thanks Jimmy

Grian: Your marriage is over Joel is with me

Transcript End]

I breathe in and out angrily, non-existent veins popping in my head.

"WHAT IS THAT BITCH DOING HERE?" I bellow, I turn and look towards the Grim Reaper who shrugs.

"I got no idea man." He says, scratching his head in confusion himself.

"GET HER OUT OF HERE!" I tell my mother even though she's to busy drowning herself in tears. From within my earshot, I hear my best friends whispering to themselves.

"I mean, this is a new low, even for her." They say and I can't yell at them that it isn't my choice.

I scowl and turn towards the uninvited guest in horror as she gives a speech at my funeral.

"I will haunt you for life... Umbridge."

You die in a freak accident and watch your funeral as a spirit. You’re shocked to see who comes to pay their last respects to you.

"Damian, are you sure you want to go through with this?" Impulse asked his friend who nodded confidently.

"Yes, I'm sure." Damian solemnly told the fellow time traveller,"This time, Batman will be......... Sailor Moon Man."

Time travelers have realized that Bruce Wayne will always, without exception, base his crimefighting persona on the first thing to crash into his window on a particular night. Now, they have an ongoing contest to see who can make him adopt the most ridiculous persona.

Persephone was so real when she suggested that Hades be a father figure to Seraphim bc that man has daddy issues

Jesper: *Yawns*

Wylan: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Jesper: Then you must be exhausted.

Kaz: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.