Does Anybody Else Think About How All Of The Darkling’s Survival Techniques Were Taught To Him By A

— do you have a boyfriend?

— yes.

What you don't understand is that any joke of "Nikolai putting Aleksander on a leash" would mean the indifferece of Aleksander but the real danger would be the complete silence of Nikolai.

Nikolai would just stare and stare and observe the foolish noble in that way that would make the guy realize he may have overlooked how scary the prince/king is, because he was too focused on the Darkling. A rookie mistake.

Seriously, any grisha discriminatory joke against Aleksander uttered in front of Nikolai would make people forgot Aleksander is even there. Nikolai'd laugh eventually, a bone chilling sound that would follow them everywhere. He would make a vague comment, a threat but not quiet a threat, the type of stuff Nikolai'd had picked up from years at the sea and some meetings with Kaz Brekker.

And the best part is that they'd have to look at Aleksander after, knowing that man would enjoy every minute of whatever Nikolai is planning. It's like searching mercy from a demon with the devil beside him.

*Nikolai would react the same to those stupid discriminatory jokes, really. He hates them so much.

The Darkling without his scars

What in the darknikolina is this.

"Oops careless 😏😜" his ass is not sorry!

comfort

— today i live for darkolai crumbs

“Something caught your eye, Sasha?”

Sasha is trying to exchange husband for a daughter

i'm in darknikolina mood, so HEADCANONS TIME.

let's say pre-canon!darkolai happened at some point, and darklina obviously was a thing during the trilogy, and then nikolina got married because it's the ending we deserve. as a royal couple, they're expected to have kids at some point, and eventually they have a daughter. both, tsar and tsaritsa, have a lot of complicated personal and political feelings about a certain shadow summoner, but they name her sasha anyway. it silenced a lot of gossipers: they assumed the tsarevna was named after her unlamented grandfather, tsar aleksander.

(in truth, grand duchess aleksandra nikolaevna was named after the darkling, lamented by many.)

but then liza & co ressurect aleksander. and he learns that now there is a lantsov girl named aleksandra, who is in equal parts alina and nikolai, his most beloved people. and she possesses alina's beautiful dark eyes, and nikolai's golden locks, and alina's dimple, and kolya's sunny smile. and the girl is also a grisha (a little alkemi, because they deserve representation) - the grand duchess (aged three) did accidentally turn the darkling's brandy into water during their first meeting.

so, of course little sasha has big sasha wrapped around her tiny fingers in no time. all the tsarevna has to do is ask. and the scary, powerful, terrifying darkling would do it. like, once sasha said she would like to have an octopus as a pet, and aleksander immediatelly was like: "ulla, ULLA. get me the prettiest octopus in all three oceans of this world for baby sasha, please. you're her aunt too, by the way."

(aleksander: ugh, i hate the lantsovs, they're the worst. someone: but, your excellency, you are cuddling the tsarevna right now? aleksander, clutching sasha even harder to his chest: i said what i said.)

nikolai and alina are no help because they are aleksandra nikolaevna's loyal slaves too. as are aunt genya and uncle david. so, actual disciplining has to be done by aunt zoya, who is the only one immune to tsarevna's pleading eyes.

(aunt zoya is also little sasha's first girl crush, and she tells everyone that when she grows up she's gonna be general nazyalensky, and break hearts of boys and girls too.)

(alina is mentally preparing for the day sasha will have suitors because darkolai would try to decapitate anyone daring enough to ask their little girl out.)

and they live happily ever after, the end.

all I did, I did for Ravka. all I did, I did for You.

“of monsters and men” trilogy by @esssteee