Hey Heraa, I Would REALLYYY Appreciate If You Helped Me Out On This One Question That Has Been Killing

Some suggested practices or experiments from Robert Adams

Be totally silent for a day - Do you think you can do it? Just for one day, tomorrow, be silent. Do not say a word to anybody. Try to spend that day by yourself if you can. If you have to go to work for a living, if you have to go to work, be silent in your mind. Now here's how you work this: if you have to talk to your employees or your employer, talk to them but shut it out of your mind. Do not entertain what you say. Get rid of it immediately after you finished. If you talk about a work problem, resolve the problem and then go back to silence. In other words do not carry it with you. Do not carry it with you at all.

Sit in silence as much as possible for a week - Isn't it better just to sit still at home in the silence and stop the mind from thinking? That's the easiest way, it's the best way, it's the simplest way. If you don't believe me, try it. Try it for a week and see what happens. For one week I would like you to experiment. I don't want you to read any book. Think you can do it? Don't look at any spiritual literature. Just sit by yourself as much as you can. And watch your mind, watch your mind. Do whatever you have to do to slow down your mind and then you're going to be amazed. You will laugh at yourself. For when the mind becomes quiescent, reality will rush in. And you'll see it's so simple, it’s so simple. Why didn't I know this all the time? I used to believe by reading volume after volume I'll become enlightened. But it was so easy, I just had to quiet my mind.

Identify as I-AM as you wake up - If you ask yourself when you go to sleep, you tell yourself, "Tomorrow morning as soon as I open my eyes I am going to identify with my source, I-am," and you will, even if for a second, it will change your life. First thing when you open your eyes, ask yourself. “Who am I?” Just put this question and see what will happen to you. You'll feel something different. But you'll have to do it every morning. Just try it and see what happens. You'll see Oneness. Keep asking yourself, “Who am I? Who am I?” when you first get up. As you keep on doing this every morning, every morning, every morning, the time between your awakening and the thought coming to you will become larger that space will expand, and expand, and expand until you are able to stay in the awareness. Of course at that time there will no longer be a "you". There will only be the awareness. Try it, you have to investigate. You have to intelligently dive deep within yourself and find the source of your I.

I-AM meditation for one day - You relax your body and you inhale and you say "I," and you exhale and you say "am, I-am". You can do this while you're waking, while you're walking, while you're washing dishes, while you're resting. What it does is it makes your mind one pointed, so it'll stop thinking. If you can practice I-am for one day, just one day, all of your troubles will be transcended. You will feel happiness you've never felt before. You will feel a peace that you never even knew existed. As you keep practicing I-am, your thoughts will become less and less. Your personal self will go into the background and you will begin to feel an inner joy, an inner bliss. You will begin to feel that it no longer matters what I am going through. It makes no difference, because it is God who is going through this, not me. And God has no problems. You automatically become happy, just by using the I-am meditation.

Love your Self every day - Begin to love your Self. I know that's really hard for some of you to do. To really love your Self, to love the Self which is really you. Try standing in front of the mirror and giving love to yourself. Some of you will not be able to do this. I'll bet there are people here who look in the mirror and they don't even want to look at themselves. They can't look at themselves for a whole minute in the mirror. Try it and you'll see what I mean. For when you look in the mirror, see God, not the physical appearance. See light shining from you, see bliss, see pure awareness, see total emptiness, see your Self. Begin to practice this exercise. Looking in the mirror, begin for maybe a minute, then you go on to two minutes, three minutes, four minutes, five minutes. Look at yourself. Admit the truth to yourself. "I am Brahman. I am the ultimate reality. I am boundless space. I am the atman, the perfect intelligence, the one without the other, all-pervading, perfect self." What if you told yourself this everyday? What do you think would happen? If you looked in the mirror and did this every day, you would turn into the God that you are. And you will find peace, total peace, total love.

Keep your mind on God all day - You will not think about your work or the food that you're going to eat during the day or what you're going to wear. But try to keep your mind clear, free. But you will watch yourself. You will see that you get up out of bed. You put on the right clothes. You eat your breakfast like you're supposed to. You go out into the world and do whatever you're supposed to do. But you're not part of it anymore, mentally. Your mind is on God. Your mind is on the absolute reality. Your mind is on perfection. Your mind is still and quiet. Yet you will continue to do what you have to do. You will no longer have to watch the clock or watch space and time. Leave everything alone and everything will happen by itself in a beautiful way. Try it.

Surrender completely - Perfect surrender is when you give up everything, everything to God including your body. Do what you want with me. Do what you want with my body, with my mind, with my affairs, with everything. Not my will but thine. If you can surrender like this you're already free. Try it, it's hard, because you're afraid what will happen after you do that. You believe everything will be taken away from you. This is human thinking. Stop being human. Surrender yourself and become totally free.

Be with your Sage all day long - When you're home, where you're working, think of the Sage. When you think of the sage's form, the sage's name, things will begin to happen to you. Find peace. Try it. Then you will be with the Sage continuously. Whenever you think of a living Sage, the Sage becomes part of your heart, it’s the complete heart and you feel the love of the Sage within you. So if you think of the Sage, the Sage will think of you. Whatever you think about, that you become ultimately. So you have to be very careful what you think about. Whatever you think about, you become. Think of the Sage, you become the Sage.

I sincerely apologise for writing this. i feel really conflicted right now. I have been getting suicidal thoughts lately because of my circumstances. Sometime I feel like I don’t even want to exist. I came to non-duality from loa. I spent 3 years trying to “manifest” a peaceful life. Trying to escape from my circumstances and wake up to a completely different life.

I make myself promises to like “manifest my desired life my the end this month” or “to stop making the same mistake” but I end up breaking them. I felt like I over consumed alot and now I don’t know where to begin or what to detach from. I tell myself that I’ll throw my phone aside and start applying but then I get caught up in my problems again and it’s just a cycle on repeat.

I have to say I’m quite ashamed of myself. Not being able to accomplish anything in my life and disappointing those around me despite knowing the law of assumption and now non-duality.

This is probably the most stupidest thing I have ever asked but could you simply non-duality in a a few sentences? I feel like I have come to the point where I can’t even trust myself to stop over consuming and wishing for change. Thank you.

you might benefit from this and this.

i really would like you to read this!

the body-mind, the "I" you think you are, i'll call them sam!

give up trying to manifest. give up trying to change the world with sam's thoughts and feelings, its torture.

here's the main point:

simple mindfulness is what gurus have asked of us. not convincing, denial or forcing. its observing. 

observe the habit of 'you'. you take the "I" to be the body-mind, sam. sam is a habit, and is sustained through attachment and aversions. drop them.

all you need to fix is your wrong identification. let go of sam and all their stories.

if you find yourself forcing, suppressing, or trying to get rid of sam (something that you don't do), then remember this: god is already perfect. the answer is to surrender.

there's no image or role to maintain. you can just be.

here's a more in depth reminder.

there's so many words for Self: Absolute Perfection, Bliss, Infinite Being, Supreme Reality. i want you to remember I AM. I AM is complete and whole, alone. its just beingness. just as it is. before the world and sam, you are conscious. before wanting, you are conscious.

nondualism's goal is letting go of all the concepts that stop you from seeing Self.

the body-mind is a thought. its an idea. you are already detached from sam. but you don't see it bcs you are identified with them right now. you are attached to your character, and we want to release all those attachments.

"the identity is a shadow. it is not us. analyze your mind briefly, and you will find that is nothing but a byproduct of societal conditioning, peer opinions, books, movies, whatever content you've most willingly consumed." - luvcompass

the mind is just a bunch of thoughts, feelings and memories. are you a thought? are you a story? are you a memory? are you a feeling?

sam is. but you are not sam.

sam doesn't want sam and all the stories anymore (likely because you think you are stuck as sam). but sam never was. sam is an idea, a story. they are a thought in the mind. because you are identified as sam, you see sam. without your awareness on sam, sam wouldn't be.

Unless they understand who they really are, that Vanessa (sam) is a habit and nothing more - that nothing has existence outside of awareness, including her, that awareness assigns reality and is the only reality - they're always going to struggle to control something and get frustrated they don't see what they think they're aware of. What you're aware of is what you're being. You can't be aware of being something new while also being Vanessa. [source]

The ego is an activity, its not innate, its FORMED.

"Ego (sam) is not an entity. It is an activity. It is an optional activity of identifying itself with a fragment that Consciousness is free to make or not, from moment to moment." [source]

and by habit of taking the "I" to be sam, it continues.

focus on respond vs react. start catching yourself out when you say 'i am ...', start asking questions to yourself abt who 'i' is. start watching your thoughts. learn how to feel your emotions when they come up, don't run away from them or they will continue to come up until you deal with it. this is a process of allowing.

"I make myself promises to like “manifest my desired life my the end this month” or “to stop making the same mistake” but I end up breaking them."

i want you to accept now. you are sam, so you see sam. stop chasing a future that will never come. there's only ever the present moment.

To be identified to your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation. This creates an endless preoccupation with past and future and an unwillingness to honor and acknowledge the present moment and allow it to be. The compulsion arises because the past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions. — Eckhart Tolle

what would happen if you stopped using the past as a reference? what would happen if you stopped projecting past stories into the future? what would happen if you stopped thinking of a tomorrow?

"i felt like I over consumed alot and now I don’t know where to begin or what to detach from."

start with "who am i?". anything you can outgrow? not you. anything you can observe ? not you. in the absense of it, you don't disappear? not you. it changes and you don't disappear? not you.

how do you know you are sam except by your belief that you are sam?

"I have to say I’m quite ashamed of myself. Not being able to accomplish anything in my life and disappointing those around me despite knowing the law of assumption and now non-duality."

read this. also, there are no others. you are seeing yourSelf play out.

let go of the shame, regret and guilt. read the linked post, and watch the source from the first quote, it'll help. i also want you to watch this.

give yourself compassion. give yourself space to grow. sam is a random person just like anybody else, so why chastise them for stuff that just happens?

sam cannot do anything in the first place. (what is sam gonna do to change the infinte? why would the infinite need changing anyway?)

you are putting pressure on sam to change the world, but really Self orchestrates all. sam is just another creation of Self. this entire world is Self's expression. give up intellectualising what sam did, maybe it has nothing to do with you and it just happened?

sam is not a problem or mistake!

sam is already part of infinity and exists whether sam likes it or not. you are unconditionally accepted already as perfection or else you wouldn't be here.

“All you need is already within you, only you must approach your self with reverence and love. Self-condemnation and self-distrust are grievous errors.” - nisargadatta maharaj

i'm sorry i wrote too much, but i hope this helps! please be safe!

In some parallel universe, I know you held me tighter. You tried harder. You said, “Look my love, I will meet you halfway.”

- N.M.Sanchez, from Initial Meeting

"Ego"

(initial Draft: 08.04., context: multiple Asks about Ego with misunderstandings)

There’s something deeply fascinating about the mental split people create when they talk about “the ego” like it’s this separate being they have to manage, tame, or silence. It’s a habit — one that becomes so normalized, people don’t even notice they’re doing it.

I unironically love this topic.

But if you actually stop and examine it, really look, it collapses. The idea of “having” an ego starts falling apart the moment you question who is supposedly having it. Who is the one speaking about it? Who is trying to fix it? Suddenly there’s no second entity — just a bunch of thoughts floating in what is labeled as "awareness", being labeled as “ego.”

You don’t need to believe me — please don’t, beliefs have no place here really. I always say: look for yourself. Don’t parrot words. Don’t adopt terms just because they’re popular in spiritual circles. See clearly, and it’ll be obvious — nothing needs fixing, and there’s nothing there to fix. The whole concept dissolves when you see through it on your own.

I’ve seen this so many times — people talking about “the ego” like it’s their desk neighbor in school. Like it’s some separate entity sitting next to them, actively making decisions, causing problems, sabotaging things.

If I — Bhasu — say something like “My ego is too loud today” or “I need to fix my ego because she’s too attached”, doesn’t that already sound odd if you actually stop and think about it? Who is this “ego” I’m referring to? And more importantly… who am I that’s talking about it?

There’s something really interesting that happens here. People speak of “ego” in the third person — not because it’s actually separate, but because it helps them feel like it is. It creates this illusion of distance. And in doing that, they place the blame “over there” — on the ego — as if that’s what’s causing suffering, and they are just the victim of it.

But this is exactly the trap: just because you speak about something like it’s “not you” doesn’t mean it’s real, or separate. If I said “My thoughts are attacking me,” would that make sense? Who is having the thoughts? Who’s observing them? And how are there two of me now?

What I’m pointing to is this: when people say “my ego,” they rarely stop to ask what that even means. They use the phrase because they’ve read it online, they’ve picked it up from someone else, and now they repeat it — without examining it.

But if you sat with the question — who am I actually talking about when I say “my ego” — you’d start to see: there’s nothing there. No separate entity. Just a string of thoughts appearing. And then another thought claiming it needs to fix the first one.

So what are you trying to fix? A mirage?

You end up running in circles trying to cure something that was never there to begin with.

hey lain! im so sorry if this post is long asf but i just spent like 25+ minutes reading your posts and replies to anons. i (well ego, actually) has spent every day since she learned about non-dualism seeking something that would "click." she was desperately trying to find what she needed to do to realize self, because as much as she told herself in her mind that she understands non-dualism, she really wasn't understanding. so anyway, she basically just had this feeling of "i'm done trying. this is exhausting and i'm so damn tired of this. there's nothing to try. the fact that i desire things and want to understand things etc., is all irrelevant." so with that, she started scrolling thru your posts, reading them fully rather than skimming them (she's lazy and doesn't like reading all the way, she always just skimmed long posts💀💀)

she just wanted the most simplest understanding on what to do and now she knows that it's literally just to stop identifying with ego. so i, my actual self, literally does not need to ask questions. i do not wonder what to do, all thoughts of "what do i have to fix" is ego. i do not have to convince ego that i am not her because... she isn't real and self doesn't think anyway, so anytime i have one of those exhausting mind battles where i think i'm telling ego that everything is fake and an illusion, i just need to remember that both of those thoughts are literally the ego. so feeling like i need to read more information, or i need to convince myself of something, will always be the ego, not ME. ALL THAT I NEED TO DO IS NOT IDENTIFY WITH EGO.

and let me tell you, i paused reading for a sec to "test it" (not necessarily testing anything but i was just getting into the feeling of not identifying) and i genuinely felt the difference. like i felt what i was supposed to, the freedom and desirelessness yk? every thought in my mind, every feeling i had, any desire i was thinking about "getting" i just said quietly said in my head, not me. that's all ego. and i didn't bother convincing or reassuring myself like "see its just ego so relax, okay i don't need to worry. i'm not ego! remember that!" because the only thing that ever needs reassurance is ego, and reassuring her is identifying with her. i didn't bother trying to "believe" anything because i knew anything further was ego. and if i am not ego, it is absolutely pointless to do anything more than just observe the thoughts and let it pass. i'd be holding my own self back from freedom by doing anything more than observing and letting it pass.

basically i just wanted to share that, because i got this giddy and relieving feeling because i know exactly what i need to do. it's not even something i "need to do", it's not a process, it's just a simple look at anything that makes me feel not free or like i'm desiring and thinking "not me, just ego." and moving on! i already feel less stressed because i'm not trying to achieve desires, i don't feel desire, ego does, but i'm not her so i don't have to fix it or remove the desire, i just let it pass on. i feel so relaxed now and just empty (in a good way. i'm emptied of hopelessness, desire, confusion) the "click" ego wanted so bad is basically this. and its so SIMPLE. i know that the habit of identifying is still kinda there for me though, but understanding the simplicity of this now and not feeling the need to search for "what to do" is gonna make it so easy to break the habit once and for all. thank you so much for your posts lain sincerely. i might delete tumblr to avoid the ego's habit of mindlessly opening the app and scrolling for hours cuz she thinks she needs to find the secret krabby patty formula to realizing self but at the same time your page brings such a comforting and safe feeling that i love 💙💙💙

i'm so glad you understand! it's good that you finally practised, you can read everything and get nowhere if you don't take the leap ♡

keep going!

When you sleep at night, you think the world you're dreaming of is real. You wake up in the morning and you go on living in a different world, which you also think it's real. But while you were in the first dream you had no memory of this world, did you? The life that you were living in the present moment was all it was, and it was real to you then. You come into the waking state and forget all about that dream (because you dismiss it as unreal & imagined so you have no reason to care once the experience is over), you're present in a second dream, and you deal with this one because now that's "what is real". But there is no difference between sleeping and waking, awareness is the background of both.

You just think the waking state more real because you've dreamt it over and over and reinforced your belief. They're equally imaginary. Become aware of this and life will forever be a breeze 🍃

I just need a tutorial on how to become self.

As in advice on what to do during the day. Like does saying “I Am” during the day suffice?

There is so much information everywhere and as someone who wants to become freedom, it is hard to just read asks or post and completely understand and apply it.

Does imaging help? Does just affirming I am help? Do I need to accept something? In that case what, and who is doing the acceptance?

I do feel confused. But telling me to let go is just hard to understand, because what am I letting go of? The thought or desires? Can you help the process by saying that you already are it/ have it/ I am?? Like what does it mean to let go?

Well, here's a practice.

I didn't follow this. I never repeated "I AM" to myself, I didn't need to remind myself of the fact that I exist.

All I did was remember what I was not, use everything to remind myself of who I truly am. Then, did what I wanted without considering ego (body/mind) and with no expectation.

Nisargadatta said he didn't condition his mind either, by telling himself "I am beyond", "I am God", etc. He trusted his teacher when he told him "I AM the Supreme Reality" and acted accordingly.

LISTEN UPPP. And listen up good.

all the questions in my asks are the same worded differently. so i'll make a long post answering multiple points

The idea that there is a world outside of yourself is just your thought that there is a world. Body dies, alright? It dies. And with no one, no senses to perceive a world, the world goes as well. Both poof, both disappear.

YOU still exist. Can you imagine not existing????

Even when body, which is matter, goes, who you think you are (the personality) still stays. Here's how I know, not just from my documentation:

Before I discovered manifesting, back in 2019, I had a very poor sleep schedule, it was like 9-10 in the morning, I haven't slept all night, mentally I was wide awake but my body was so exhausted it felt so heavy on me. Mentally I was completely fine, so I had a hard time falling asleep. But I did. Or so I thought. Because as soon as I did I found 'myself' above my body, looking down at it. Reminder, I had no experience with spirituality, I watched a series about astral projecting in the past (Through her eyes on Netflix) but I won't say I believed it, or even contemplated that I could do it. Obviously when this happened none of my thoughts went to astral projection. I panicked so hard, if I had a body I would have been having 10 panic attacks a second and hyperventilating. I thought I was dead. That was my first thought. I was dead. I went from my bedroom to my parents, desperately calling for my mom, but no one was home, it was 10AM, weekday in the summer, and both my parents were at work. I was afraid to leave my parents room and go outside the house, because 1) my screaming was inaudible, even though I WAS screaming "MOM save me" with everything I had 😆 2) nobody could see me, i couldn't even see me, i was not even a cloud, i was nothing, how could anybody interact with me? 3) i was scared that if i went much farther away from my body, outside, then I would be abandoning it & really make it disappear since I was nowhere around it. What I did was go back to my bedroom, scream my name in my face telling myself to wake up. It didn't work, 'I' didn't hear me either. So my next action plan was to give myself CPR. I had no body, but what other choice did I have except attempt at resurrecting myself? I went full in, wanting to push whatever weight I had (none) onto my chest, and I... plunged. I was in the body again, wide awake now, shaking like a leaf and ready to cry. I was so panicked, I had a hard time believing I was actually alive. I was looking at my arms still unsure if I was dreaming or awake. I texted the only friend I knew I'd find up at that hour to confirm that they were getting my texts and I was real. I did start crying when I started explaining to them of how I "dreamed" I was dead. I had no other way to explain it to myself, let alone another person. That was the scariest experience of my life. I was afraid to go back to sleep. I kept my friend up with me for longer than an hour just talking to me so I could come back to my senses. I was legitimately afraid that if I close my eyes and fall asleep, I'll lose my body again. That I would die for real now. Then I settled to this being "another chance" (lol now) and I swore I'll fix my sleeping habits (because they lead me to death LOL again)

If you want more technical info on my experience with astral projecting: I could see but not as clear as I see with my eyes. The images were blurry but not blurry enough to not know where I was or what I was seeing, but blurry enough to not be able to tell if the body was breathing, hence the extra panic. (I've read that the more you do it, the better it gets and you end up seeing normally/clearly) You can check out Bob Monroe's journey with astral projection if it's something you're interested in. I can only explain it as floating in the air, I could go down or go up, change the perspective of my sight in whichever way I wanted. Body is on the ground so you know, perspective is quite limited from it. My angle was from above but I had a wider range of perspectives.

Back to the point, body dies. Personality is left. You are left with 'yourself'. But what is 'yourself' is only an idea you made up about yourself. An idea that you were born, had this body, developed this personality, and that is you. What're you gonna do now when there's no world and no body to interact with? Why stay like this when there's no one to know what you were before? You stay like this because you're attached to this personality. But being like this in nothing will get boring, eventually, so boring that you will be willing to lose this you have now to be something/someone else because it's the only entertainment you have. So you become another person, and another, and another... so many you are attached to none any more and they're just experiences YOU want to have. WELL WHO IS YOU IF YOU CAN ADD ANOTHER PERSONALITY ONTO IT?

Free will and "real" life

The free will of the character is so limited it's none. The extent of Ada's free will in making decisions goes "Yeah, I'll break up with Joe and get with Rowan. Rowan is a better fit for me because my personality is this and his is that and we go well together yada yada" Who's to say Harry wouldn't have been an even better fit, but she had no choice because she only knew Joe and Rowan. TRANSLATION: character only makes do with what it has. It's all it can do. Making choices in a play you're a part of doesn't change the overall destiny (Have you ever played any of those 'choose your story' games? They give you the illusion that the choice you make alters the character's life, when in reality most is decided already and you're making no dent in the plot). And yes, it's true that I can change the beliefs Ada has, therefore alter the plot (what manifesting mostly is), but it's a very hard process, conditioning an already extremely limited and conditioned thing. I can change her destiny only if I manage to change her beliefs (which are usually very strong and egos are very stubborn). Past is remembered all the time so whenever I try to make a change in her thinking the reasoning part of her brain goes "But HOW can I suddenly be lucky when all my life I've had bad luck? It's just very hard to believe." And it is, and she is right. And then you think you're weak minded for not being able to do it.

Listen. Your brain is a very limited thing. It stores memories and habits of this body and that's all it knows.

Mind (is synonymous with consciousness!) contains all, every conception, but identifies itself with one in particular for the duration of the play. The brain is the mind of that character, and all the character knows.

BLIND FAITH IS STUPID.

If Vanessa isn't naive or easily trusting, that girl is never gonna take some stranger's word for it that she can change her life by thinking she's gorgeous and powerful all of a sudden. She will try and try (to recondition herself and do what she's been told that works) but she doesn't really believe because she doesn't see it so nothing comes of it. Changes are small, mindset might be better (she may be overall happier depending on the amount of reconditioning of her brain she managed to do, or she goes insane and her mental health is even worse because she's always finding things to change with herself, trying and trying and trying in this never ending cycle of being better, doing more). Basically, Vanessa is doomed either way and she has limited power even when she thinks she's the shit. "Trust in God, I AM, your higher self!", "Have faith and it will work!" Well, I, as Ada, can't. I am very stubborn you see. I can't believe in waiting bringing me stuff about. Who's this higher self anyway, why is it making me wait and have faith? What's this law with its blind faith, except remastered religion?

Enough. What you are, you see. You are Vanessa or Lara, okay, you are because you believe you are. And you're right! It's true, you are, your eyes are working fine and your life might be hell 😍 what do you have to lose if YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND and think "What if I wasn't?" Streams and floods of better ideas of what you could've been/could be come through, don't they? "That's so nice if it were true🥺" Alrightie then! That must be the solution, no? Not be Vanessa? Well how do I stop being Vanessa? How (the big HOW!!) do you know you are Vanessa except by your belief that you are Vanessa? 🤷‍♀️ To know a different thing you must stop thinking this one is true first? "Got it, it's not!", "But even if it's not me I am seeing her life and her 'reality'?", "I am unaffected by the events now, but how do I stop seeing them?" Are you, though? You sure it has nothing to do with you anymore? Fine I'll take your word for it ☺️ Now start thinking you're a different thing. BUT THE SAME EVENTS OF HER LIFE HAPPEN?! Really, how so? World has no standing except for your thought of it, be honest with yourselves, not me. I'll reenact what you're doing.

"Ada, your depression is not real. Your house is not real. Your parents are not real." "Yes, they are, I see them!", "Don't invalidate my experience, I have TRAUMA😠" that's how the convo goes. Then you get disinterested in the convo, "Alright I'm tired of your problems, not me". And you feel lighter, you feel better. You soothed your mind for the time being, there's no big feelings now that you don't identify yourself with her...

For a while, because then something happens and you still believe it's there and it's real and you have to somehow deal with it. You're back confusing the 'you' with Vanessa. "I'm seeing the parents and the world again, that must mean I did it wrong?" I need to ask, seek more. Where do I go from this? WOULD YOU CARE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT, SEEING THE SAME WORLD TOMORROW, IF YOU REALLY DISBELIEVED VANESSA IS YOU OR YOUR BUSINESS? WOULD YOU CARE, I ask you.

"I don't care... but what do I do next, I'm lost🥺"

"Of course I care!!! I want a better life!!!" Who's you?, you go back to the beginning of the post again, you especially read it five times more actually.

To answer the first:

Think what you want.

Past doesn't come up anymore, memories don't come up anymore after you've ignored - detached yourself enough. They just don't. You can think freely now about being something different. If you can't, don't get mad, don't blame, only know that the one that's doubting isn't you, so the doubts are totally fine to be. They'll be for a while and then they dissolve too, because by ignoring, not getting involved - you forget. And by forgetting not only do you free up so much mental space, but possibilities of what can be become unnumbered.

All you are doing is becoming lucid. Becoming able to control the dream. You won't be able to, unless you step out of it. That is, stop thinking this story you tell yourself is true. You won't be able to get mad, sad, or even frustrated at whatever is playing in front of you, because to be involved to this extent you have to think you're it, it's an actual thing "you" are going through. That's not to say you'll become an emotionless robot (the only thing unlimited abt you guys rn is your worries, so much that i have to address them in advance), but that you will feel your emotion in the present and not remain mentally scarred by it forever. You will be able to say "alright, no more" when you've had your fill of crying, being angry, throwing a fit. Emotions won't be able to rule you anymore, right now, they fully do. You are their prisoner. Your ego dominates you so completely.

When Vanessa is no longer all you are, you'll be able to 'change reality' the way you change the film in a video projector. You'll be able to have as much fun in the play as you want to, change it when you no longer want this one specifically. The emotions of the character are fun and welcomed, because they no longer imprison you, there's the background of love to it all - that once you gain, it can't be lost, it's ever present.

That being said, please stop asking me questions about fulfilling or persisting, they're from another planet in this state.

Deep dive into what you are experiencing

by Being_Is_IT / Twitter

In a previous article titled "Can the reality be experienced", I pointed out that the Mind subtly assumes that there is a higher or better reality hiding behind the present moment you are feeling, touching, and tasting. The Mind automatically assumes that the present moment is inferior to an imagined future moment as if you may transition into something better. Actually, the Mind's assumption is completely wrong. Unconditioned perfection is right here in the present moment.

Whatever you are feeling, tasting, experiencing, is already perfection without conditions. There is nothing better hiding behind. There will be nothing better waiting for you in the future. All that you have right now and right here is *perfection* by default.

But the Mind always complain that "I have not been able to experience the reality". The Mind automatically assumes that what is being experienced is something called "illusion" that is opposite to something better called "reality". And the Mind wishes to get out of something called "illusion" and get into something called "reality". No, it's not the case at all. Let me emphasize, what is being experienced is the only actuality that is SELF.

There is never anything that can be defined as illusion. The only subtlety is that all the interpretation of the Mind is illusory. All that can be experienced is SELF, the only perfection without conditions. Therefore, there is not anything or any situation that can be defined as illusion. The word "illusion" indicates only that the interpretation of the Mind is illusory, not indicative of any actual thing or object present that can be defined as "illusion".

For example, the effect of experiencing of an apple is actual, but interpreting such effect of experiencing as an object called "apple" is illusory. For example, the effect of experiencing of "me" is actual, but interpreting such effect of experiencing as a person living in a body called "me" is illusory. For example, the effect of experiencing of time is actual, but the interpretation of this effect of experiencing as something called "time" is illusory. Simply, the energetic effect of time is not actually something actually existing as time, all that is - is an energetic effect that Mind arbitrarily labels as a concept of "time".

For example, you can't deny the experiential effect of space, but the Mind automatically and arbitrarily interprets this experiential effect as something called "space" as if there is really an object or physical property called "space" existing. Such interpretation is an illusion. Don't seek something better or more glorious hidden behind the obvious phenomena. The phenomenon itself is by default perfection itself. Please notice all the interpretations and definitions imagined out of the Mind, these interpretations and definitions don't actually stand at all.

Even if the Mind interprets the present moment as "pain and suffering". No, it's actually not the case at all. Enjoy anyway. Even if the Mind interprets the present moment as lack or deficient. No, it's actually not the case at all. Enjoy anyway. The moment that the Mind imagines about "deep inside", you immediately discern that the Mind is lying to you. There is nothing hiding deep inside. The very concepts of "deep" and "shallow" are illusory.

The moment that the Mind imagines about "better future", you immediately discern that the Mind is lying to you. There is not a "future" because what feels like as "time" is not actually something as time. The idea of "future" is illusory. Regardless of what the Mind interpreting the present moment as, don't take the Mind's definition seriously, directly know that this is the only perfection that you can ever have, nothing better next second, nothing better tomorrow. Enjoy.