BRIGHT VACHIRAWIT as THYME AKIRA PARAMAANANTRA Ep. 1 | F4 THAILAND: BOYS OVER FLOWERS (2021) dir. O Patha Thongpan
First off, realize you are never not it. We are actually fully realized all the time. We are fully realized Beings saying that we are not. So all we do is let go of “we are not” and what's left over is the fully realized Being that we are.
Second, if you're able to understand it intellectually but not able to use it, it's because you're not looking at yourself honestly, truthfully, with deep desire to see your Self, in the process of which you have set up as the subconscious mind all the things you will not look at.
However, it's not necessary to dig up this unconscious mind, in fact it's much better to try to quiet the mind. When we're able to get the mind totally quiet, what's left over is the infinite Self. Every thought is a thing of limitation. Therefore when we quiet the mind, we still these limiting thoughts and this infinite Being that we are becomes self obvious to us. The Self is then not occluded by the limiting thoughts! We see It, we recognize that we never were that mind, that body, and from that moment on, the mind and body have no influence upon us. We determine for the body as we would a puppet and it has no effect upon us, as a puppet that we would be controlling would have no effect upon us.
If you want a "method", then the very best method of all methods is to quiet the mind to see the Being that you are. Pose the question: “Who am I?” and if other thoughts come in, ask, “To whom are these thoughts?” The answer is “To me.” “Well, who am I?” and you're back on the track, seeking to see your Self.
''Who am I?” is the final question that everyone answers, so why not begin with the final question?
There are two ways of growing: one is what I call the negative way, eliminating the negative, going into the mind, seeing the cause of the problem that originated in a thought some time in the past. When we see this thought, when we bring it up into consciousness, we naturally let go of it. We see how silly it is to hold onto it and therefore correct that thought and behavior.
However, the other way is better. It is the positive way. Quiet the mind and see who and what you really are, the infinite Self, pure Awareness. In the over all, there's really only two ways: eliminating the negative and the better, putting in the positive, “I am that I am,” “I am It.” The latter is by far the faster.
Let's now take a look at this so-called apparency, the world. The world is only an illusion that we created mentally. It is not external but in reality within us, within our mind. Someday you'll discover that you created this entire universe that you see. The method of creating is by first creating what we call a mind. We create our mind, which is nothing but a composite of all our thoughts, conscious and subconscious, and the thoughts create the material world. Every little thing that happens to each and everyone of us is created in our thinking. We mentally set up a thing called time which makes it even more difficult to see things because we think now and things happen years later. But the only creator there is, is the mind, your mind.
So now you discover that you created your trouble, then you discover that you can create anything you desire. After you discover that there is nothing that you cannot create, you're still unhappy. The reason is that you have separated yourself from the all that is.
If there are any problems that remain, they only remain because you are holding onto them in thought. The moment you let go of them, they are gone! If you tell me that isn't so for you, that isn't true. The truth is you're still holding onto them, telling me that it doesn't work. Now trying to get rid of a problem is holding onto it. Anything we try to get rid of we are holding in mind and thereby sustaining that problem. So the only way to correct a problem is to let go of it. See not the problem, see only what you want. If you would only from this moment on see what you want that is all that you would get. But you hold in mind the things you do not want. You struggle to eliminate the things you don't want, thereby sustaining them.
Now the very highest state is simply Beingness, and if we could only be, just be, we could see our Infinity. We would see that there are no limitations. We would see that we are the All. We would be in a perfectly satiated, permanent, changeless state. And it is not a nothingness, it is not a boredom, it is an Allness, an Everythingness, a Total Satiation that is eternal. You will never, never lose your individuality. The word “I” as you use it to mean your individuality will never ever leave you. It expands. What happens as you re-remember what you are is that you'll begin to see that others are you, that you are me, that you are now and always have been gloriously Infinite.
This subject cannot be learned intellectually, it cannot be learned through the mind because it's perceived just behind the mind. We can use the mind to gradually undo the limitations enough so that we can get behind the mind by getting it quieter. If it were possible to get this subject through the mind intellectually, all we would need to do is to read the books on it and we would have it. But it doesn't work that way. We have to very concentratedly dwell upon our Self that is just behind the mind. Turn the mind back upon the mind to discover what the mind is, and then go beyond the mind to the Self. So to get this subject, each one must experience it, realize it, make it real by going to the place just behind the mind and perceiving it there.
If you examine thoroughly the mind, you will discover that it isn't, it's an illusion. Let it go its way, just watch the mind. The ultimate witness is the Self. It's a tremendous thing to watch the mind. Not only does it quiet it, it makes the mind not you. If you trace the source of the mind, you find it is nothingness. This whole world is a dream illusion, which means that it isn't!
Unlimited joy is our natural, inherent state which we have, through ignorance, undone by imposing concepts of limitations. Anytime we have trouble, anytime we have a problem, we're being the limited ego. We’re trying to express the Self through the limited ego, and it's too small, we get squeezed and it hurts. If you'll just accept that you are not that, that what you are is God, Awareness -- and God is All, God is Perfect, that's all you'll ever meet with!
No matter what you say, no matter what law or concept you want to follow, only upon recognizing that what you are is Awareness are you perfectly satisfied.
Simple answer: There is no 3D. There only is a world because you are conscious of one being there.
Below is a post from an old reddit user, she deleted her account years ago, and back then - I kept reading this every day and still not getting what the feeling she was talking about was - how can you just feel everything is dependent on you? After all, we've been imagining our entire lives that we're this little ego walking around in this big world, that's so separate from what we know ourselves to be, a body with needs. When we come across this information, it sounds delusional, insane! But the apparent solid world is just an illusory world, the only thing that is is Self. The true delusion is fighting something entirely dependent on us, something that has no existence outside of us.
These are not my words, but imo something we can all attest to doing since we've discovered the law:
" -- Being absolutely shameless and feeling godly and maintaining that attitude -- Is this what being on drugs feels like? I've only ever taken CBD oil, so I don't know lol. But I felt like I wasn't actually living, until, like, Friday. Everything before that kinda felt like carefully controlling which assumptions I felt like interacting with that day. Avoiding things that I associated with being "bad", doing things I associated with being "good". Carefully navigating my own assumptions so I don't accidentally upset myself by encountering something I gave a shitty meaning to. Going back and forth between the two "sides" (note: 3D/4D), feeling temporary relief through meditation. Then, I woke up one morning and... I don't know how to describe it really. I woke up feeling absolute freedom. I never realized I had felt so trapped before. Now I feel so giddy it's ridiculous. And realizing that I can feel like this... all the time... because I choose to... it's absolutely fantastic. You can think and feel whatever you want, I swear, you can only pay like 2 seconds worth of attention to unwanted circumstances, and just continue feeling good about yourself, for yourself, inside yourself. You really, *really* can pay less attention to things you don't like than you think. If you read Neville's work for long enough, or have been in this community for long enough, you likely understand this intellectually. But when you FEEL stuff like this to be true, your perspective shifts in the most wonderful way. Just imagine it, the confidence. Being completely unfazed by circumstances because you know it starts and ends in you. Dreams are not only possible, but inevitable. The only thing that determines your destiny is what you *feel* like experiencing, nothing else. Is it a tad bit more nuanced than that? Sure, yeah. There's the baggage that comes up. But that's not outside of you either. Withdraw your attention from it, and the baggage goes away. First, usually, the fear/hate associated with the circumstance disappears. Then the physical evidence of your disdain goes along with it. What's left when you really understand that... is preference. Best Changes? PEACE. OH MY GOD. It sounds incredibly cheesy and cliche, but I swear, being at peace is the only thing I *actually* want. I mean, I like my manifestations and whatnot, don't get me wrong. But this, I wouldn't sacrifice it for anything. * A nice side effect to only caring about my state is that everything feels reasonably attainable. Nothing feels out of reach, or hard. Because: 1) It doesn't really matter in the first place 2) It's all really just a symbol of your consciousness 3) The only thing that determines whether or not you are able to do something is what you assume. It's one thing to know it in theory and another to really feel yourself to be the arbiter of your own fate... Knowing Wow, I was actually born a badass and carrying that mood around is SO. GOOD.
The external world, you control it (because it is you!, in you), you make it, fully, even when you tell yourself you don't. You like playing hide and seek with yourself? Fine. Keep going at it, but at least make sure you're treating it like what you're saying it is, a game. Don't take it so seriously, who you are is limitless, timeless, beyond your ego mind - why would the being you are be afraid of its own creation? And if you like to play, why not play a different way, you like the horror genre thaaat much? But sims is so much more fun... you can do anything there... you have all the cheatcodes, too - you have everything you need to make this human experience the funnest it can be. When everything obeys you, why do you keep things alive that you don't like being there?
"Don't imagine to try, but to experience" -EdwardArt
In the beginning I heard this saying, but I never truly grasped the statement. Even now I still look at it kind of funny only because even though the basis of manifestation is proving to u that you've always had what you wanted, let's be real the main reason 99.9% of us started consciously manifesting in three first place is because we want to have this same experience in the 3d. But unfourtanetly, when you really change your perspective you will begin to realize truly, how delusional and illogical you are with approaching manifesting as a whole(bare with me). Let's run down the basics so you all can see what I mean:
You learn about manifestation. The main points you know is that:
1. Imagination is the only reality
2. You can manifest anything there are no limits
3. Manifestation is always instant
Some of you may be really saying to yourself "Ms. Allurèa I already know this stuff so how am I being delusional?" Well I'm glad you asked. You know these basic things about the law, you know the moment you've imagined what you want (imagination don't equal visualization) it was already fulfilled. You say you know imagination is the only reality yet you look outside in the mirror for validation, you say you know you can manifest anything yet you condition your desires, you say you know manifestation is instant yet every other minute something isn't shown desirable in the 3d you ask "where is it?" AND "why isn't it here yet?" You say you know you control your reality yet you act like you don't. You say you know the 3d and 4d are the same so you "know" to change 4d yet you try to change your reflection instead of changing SELF. You say you've imagined the end yet you question "did I do it right?" "When will it come?" "Is it done?"
You guys see how delusional, illogical and contradicting it sounds. If you have to question if your desires are fulfilled or not then no they are not fulfilled. If you have to ask "where is it?" After you've literally just saw yourself having what you want IN IMAGINATION, IN SELF then no you do not have it and you need to change your mindset immediately and when I say that I'm not just speaking on SC but your perspective entirely. Are you truly imagining to experience because you know imagination is your true reality therefore you are experiencing what you want now or are you imagining to try and get something that's already there. There is literally only I AM, if you must say "I will be" then you do not have it at all. You either have it or you don't.
"As far as I am concerned I already have what I want, there is no where is it? I just imagined it because imagination is the only reality. So therefore it's here right now. There is no when is it coming? It's already here. There is no well did I do it right or did it work? It's ALREADY WORKED. To deny this is being delusional" -EdwardArt
4dkelly notes: I had fun making this in an interview style Q&A between 4dbarbie and Vanessa. I thought "how would 4dbarbie answer anon questions if she were still here today?". Spoiler alert, it wouldn't be much different to the questions anons asked her lol. Most answers are just directly extracted from her posts/answered asks but some have been adapted a bit or rearranged to make it flow better. I have added some relevant posts for further reading. I may or may not make more of these. This was mainly just for fun (but then it really evolved into an educational piece lol). My highlight key: key concepts are in pink, action points in purple, really important points in red
Vanessa: I really like this guy and want to manifest him. 😢 How do I do that?
4dbarbie: IMAGINE KNOWING ALL THIS AND STRESSING OVER A GUY?!?!? Unbelievable. Who's holding you at gun point to type this out to me??? 😧😧😧 I refuse to believe this is what this material is getting wasted on. I refuse to believe this is the understanding you guys have after I explained who you are in so many ways. Imagine liking someone who didn't text you back right after to tell you how amazing you are as well 🤮 what do you like about this nobody? You want to give me a heart attack? I tell you there is no one out there but you and instead of being free and loving yourself you... you give a crumb of your precious attention to this? I tell you you are life and you try to make life better through dates?
Vanessa: Okay but what about my other desires? I want them...
4dbarbie: Everything about Vanessa is meaningless. She has a life and if it's boring, who cares? Forget it. What do you need these stories for? Do you not understand they have reality because you give it to them? YOU! They have no standing on their own! The whole world is just your mere thought. The body exists because you are aware of it being! Only you have this power. Only you are. Why are you dreaming like this? Gosh, you break my heart. If Vanessa is hurting you why do you keep on choosing her?
Vanessa: Then what should I do? I still have things I desire despite knowing I cannot desire because I am not a person, ego, mind...
4dbarbie: You know it intellectually, but have you acted on it at all? You know yourself as Vanessa by acting like Vanessa, know yourself as your Self by acting like yourself. Desires and fears dissipate then. You have desires still because you never stopped thinking you're Vanessa. Investigate who Vanessa actually is :) Spoiler alert: it's a thought! Think something else and see what happens.
Vanessa: How long will this take? When will I see a change?
4dbarbie: Now. Who is doing the change in attitude, what are you waiting for to happen for you to change your attitude? It's instant. You see it, you realize you have no reason to worry/doubt/desire/fear anymore, let things happen as they happen while you're undisturbed and they dissolve.
Vanessa: Should I just keep assuming that I don't desire things anymore because I already have it while I'm denying and dismissing my senses? It feels like I'm just waiting and being delusional though
4dbarbie: Your world is right and perfect, what you see is what you are so even if you're seeing what 'you' don't want, the world is not wrong in being what it is. Fearing it, trying to manipulate it, lying to yourself about it being something different - all useless and vain attempts.
Not seeing the world as it is, is an aversion to it. - Lester Levenson
See it as it is and it will fix itself.
And no, being delusional is not good, it leads you not to trust your own judgment or senses. Which is not right, why shouldn't you? What is wrong with your vision? Being delusional from your ego self is really harmful, someone could be abusing you and you would go "i'm sure that's not right he loves me so much in my mind!!!"
You won't be able to get rid of the waiting feeling as long as you're identified with your ego, it can manipulate nothing. And if you weren't your ego -- everything would already be materialized, so there would be nothing to wait for.
Vanessa: Well since I Am and I give life to everything, when Vanessa desires something, I can just "give" her her desires, right?
4dbarbie: The desire that *I*... the desire is of Vanessa, the Self can have that and it's nothing to it. It's just another experience. Those things are in you, not you in them.
You don't have to give her anything... you don't have to fulfill anybody... I Am is already everything... you only don't see you are all and have the all because you won't stop thinking you're the ego. All you're doing all the time is creating lack & limitation, perfection already is. You just add unsatisfying labels constantly with your wrong thinking.
Let go of the thinking, it's instant. No need to fulfill anybody. 1 My tip is to realize your Self, have enough courage to face Vanessa's fears. See how unnecessary is to pay them any mind at all. Let go of thinking you are this little helpless thing already. After you realize yourself, any bold assertion does it. There's no time delay. 2
Vanessa: Now I feel defeated, do I just give up on everything then?
4dbarbie: Feeling defeat is actually good, it prompts you to let go :D You don't need to reach for what is already within you. Give up the idea that you have not found it and just let it come into the focus of direct perception, here and now, by letting go of all that is of the mind.
Abandon all sense of separation, see yourself in all and act accordingly - Nisargadatta Maharaj
You have it, all is well. Just stop believing the illusions born out of thinking you're a person.
Vanessa: So as Awareness, I have to stop desiring?
4dbarbie: If you know yourself to be Awareness, then you know yourself to be the all. There is nothing to desire, because you have no reason to create desire.
That's why it's necessary to realize all that is is awareness and the person comes second. If you think all that is is the person, then the chances of believing you're suddenly a different person are slim, and the persuasion and convincing are nothing but a form of self-instilled mental torture. 1 All you're doing is imagining/thinking you're an ego who has to strive for things, but it is "I AM" imagining itself to be so.
What is beyond is clear of all striving. The cause of suffering is in the identification of the perceiver with the perceived. - Nisargadatta Maharaj
When that identification ceases, so does desire. Then, if you want to express yourself as being a person, nothing is stopping you from doing so, only know yourself first. After that, no matter what you choose to experience the world as, you will know you are not it and it can't hurt you.
Vanessa: What do I do when a desire or fear comes to my mind then? It doesn't feel right to suppress them...
4dbarbie: I am not talking of suppression. Just refuse attention. Nisargadatta has a saying "When you happen to walk in a crowd, you do not fight every man you meet — you just find your way between." Neville has another "Indifference is the knife that severs, feeling is the tie that binds." When you refuse to play the game, you are out of it.
Vanessa: Then how do I stop feeling anxious about trying to change my life?
4dbarbie: You are not the one who is anxious or fearful, the ego is fearful. LOA was wrong about letting go because you can't let go of desires or fears if you don't know who you really are. If you think you are this ego you can't help being anxious. You can't help wanting to get. Real surrendering can only be of the ego. By letting go of who you think you are and seeing you were never it in the first place, that it is because YOU are, you naturally drop all desires and fears because they weren't yours. 1 Get into a habit of watching, letting them be but not identifying with them. If you can observe them, it means you are not them.
Abandon all imaginings and know yourself as you are. All craving is due to a sense of insufficiency. When you know that you lack nothing, that all there is, is you and yours, desire ceases. - Nisargadatta Maharaj
Vanessa: How do I stop feeling doubts then?
4dbarbie: You shut them down. There is no reason to argue with them, contemplate them, or give them any kind of attention at all. See them for what they are, an illusion of the mind. When you catch yourself being aware of something that's undesirable, just go 'What problem?' and know it to be perfect again. Always remember, the real you can't have doubts, only your ego can.
Vanessa: I feel like I'm not doing enough to realize my true Self. How can I be more productive on this journey?
4dbarbie: There's nothing to be productive about. What a silly concept. Don't add another burden or worry onto yourself. Right now you make yourself guilty over not seeking more and doing more to attain realization, but you already have it. You need not take time to meditate or put time aside to contemplate and "apply". All you need to do is detach from this form during the day, let life happen as it happens while reminding yourself it's a dream, a dream that doesn't have to be yours.
The guilt is because you think you're running out of time and you need to change "your" life now. Be patient with yourself because you don't lose any time, just get to that place I'm telling you about and then you can just go back in time if you so wish. All worry is pointless! And there is nothing to fear, things just happen, do not claim them as yours for a while. Unclutter your mind, it becomes your servant after you've freed it enough.
Simple answer: There is no 3D. There only is a world because you are conscious of one being there.
Below is a post from an old reddit user, she deleted her account years ago, and back then - I kept reading this every day and still not getting what the feeling she was talking about was - how can you just feel everything is dependent on you? After all, we've been imagining our entire lives that we're this little ego walking around in this big world, that's so separate from what we know ourselves to be, a body with needs. When we come across this information, it sounds delusional, insane! But the apparent solid world is just an illusory world, the only thing that is is Self. The true delusion is fighting something entirely dependent on us, something that has no existence outside of us.
These are not my words, but imo something we can all attest to doing since we've discovered the law:
" -- Being absolutely shameless and feeling godly and maintaining that attitude -- Is this what being on drugs feels like? I've only ever taken CBD oil, so I don't know lol. But I felt like I wasn't actually living, until, like, Friday. Everything before that kinda felt like carefully controlling which assumptions I felt like interacting with that day. Avoiding things that I associated with being "bad", doing things I associated with being "good". Carefully navigating my own assumptions so I don't accidentally upset myself by encountering something I gave a shitty meaning to. Going back and forth between the two "sides" (note: 3D/4D), feeling temporary relief through meditation. Then, I woke up one morning and... I don't know how to describe it really. I woke up feeling absolute freedom. I never realized I had felt so trapped before. Now I feel so giddy it's ridiculous. And realizing that I can feel like this... all the time... because I choose to... it's absolutely fantastic. You can think and feel whatever you want, I swear, you can only pay like 2 seconds worth of attention to unwanted circumstances, and just continue feeling good about yourself, for yourself, inside yourself. You really, *really* can pay less attention to things you don't like than you think. If you read Neville's work for long enough, or have been in this community for long enough, you likely understand this intellectually. But when you FEEL stuff like this to be true, your perspective shifts in the most wonderful way. Just imagine it, the confidence. Being completely unfazed by circumstances because you know it starts and ends in you. Dreams are not only possible, but inevitable. The only thing that determines your destiny is what you *feel* like experiencing, nothing else. Is it a tad bit more nuanced than that? Sure, yeah. There's the baggage that comes up. But that's not outside of you either. Withdraw your attention from it, and the baggage goes away. First, usually, the fear/hate associated with the circumstance disappears. Then the physical evidence of your disdain goes along with it. What's left when you really understand that... is preference. Best Changes? PEACE. OH MY GOD. It sounds incredibly cheesy and cliche, but I swear, being at peace is the only thing I *actually* want. I mean, I like my manifestations and whatnot, don't get me wrong. But this, I wouldn't sacrifice it for anything. * A nice side effect to only caring about my state is that everything feels reasonably attainable. Nothing feels out of reach, or hard. Because: 1) It doesn't really matter in the first place 2) It's all really just a symbol of your consciousness 3) The only thing that determines whether or not you are able to do something is what you assume. It's one thing to know it in theory and another to really feel yourself to be the arbiter of your own fate... Knowing Wow, I was actually born a badass and carrying that mood around is SO. GOOD.
The external world, you control it (because it is you!, in you), you make it, fully, even when you tell yourself you don't. You like playing hide and seek with yourself? Fine. Keep going at it, but at least make sure you're treating it like what you're saying it is, a game. Don't take it so seriously, who you are is limitless, timeless, beyond your ego mind - why would the being you are be afraid of its own creation? And if you like to play, why not play a different way, you like the horror genre thaaat much? But sims is so much more fun... you can do anything there... you have all the cheatcodes, too - you have everything you need to make this human experience the funnest it can be. When everything obeys you, why do you keep things alive that you don't like being there?
''if you are already in barbados, why would you be talking about going to barbados?''
-abdullah to neville goddard (from god's law and his promise).
Hey there!! I wanted to share an experience I had after reading your excerpt from The Ultimate Truth posted @4dbarbie-archive yesterday. It really resonated with me and it inspired me to want to practice conscious creation instead of letting it happen because of subconscious programming. In particular this part (which is most of the extract lol):
Man was never intended to be a victim of circumstances. He is the controller of them, but has lost awareness of this fact. When he regains his awareness of it, he again becomes the master of circumstances, and consciously controls his environment. Matter, energy, space, and time are in mind. When man realizes this, he has mental control over them and controls them at his will. Man is unconsciously determining the world. When he wakes up to this, he gains conscious control. Creation is just a mental projection.
Lester also said in the Introduction of the book that it is necessary to prove it to yourself and never accept anything completely on hearsay:
A unique characteristic of this Truth is that it must be seen my each one through his own perception. No one and no book can do it for him. Necessary is the proof of Truth, and necessary it is that each one must prove the Truth for himself. Nothing should ever be accepted on hearsay. One should listen to, reflect upon, and then prove. The best attitude one may take would be to not believe nor disbelieve, but to accept Truths for checking. Then, and only then, after one has proven them without a doubt should one accept them. As Truth begins to prove itself, one gains more confidence in it, and then proofs come more easily and more readily; until finally, one perceives the Absolute Truth, — that we are unlimited beings, unlimited in our knowledge, power and joy.
So I've understood non-duality to a certain extent starting my "journey" from when 4dbarbie was still around and it felt like I eventually came to a sort of standstill. I just sort of fell into a lull and didn't feel anything about life in general. I really resonated with the teachings, stopped desiring anything and had let go of a lot of things but still didn't really feel connected to Self entirely (it would come and go). Recently though, I thought about how my life is just a mental projection of subconscious thoughts and how I would rather be able to consciously control it. For background, I've been using energy manipulation to heal my body using my mind and I think that's when I started to truly know that everything is just a projection of the mind (there's a much deeper innate knowing that comes from experiencing it than reading something and accepting it as truth). Then I started thinking back on the things I had "manifested" simply by deciding it to be so. And then I saw your excerpt and it really clicked for me.
To me, consciously controlling your circumstances is a "skill" because we're so used to living in limitation, it can take some time and development in order to remove those illusions of limitation (of course, it needn't take time, it depends on the individual!). I know in some LOA blogs, they call it intention setting so it's within the same vein imo. Anyway, after reading that extract and reading some of the book, I decided I wanted to practice conscious creation and strengthen this innate ability in order to connect me closer to the understanding and knowing that I am an infinite limitless being. Lester said "Matter, energy, space, and time are in mind." so I want to test all these although less so energy manipulation as I have already done this in numerous ways already. To me this was easier than the others but I now recognize that is a concept of limitation that doesn't need to be so as they are all equally mental projections. And I am not doing this to "get" any desires since I don't have any anymore, I am only doing it to remember the real me and exercise my innate natural ability of conscious creation and also "prove" it to myself through experience that I am limitless as Lester teaches.
I will give one example of "success" since I started last night! There's too much background history that I won't go over but basically this friend of mine stopped messaging me a few weeks ago and this had been a repeating cycle for a few years and it used to trigger me so much. Through being on this path, I let go of caring about it or wanting things to be different. But last night I decided to use this case scenario as a test subject for practicing conscious creation because I know I used to have a lot of mental resistance and triggers when it came to this person and if I really did succeed, it would truly be proof to me that this was purely a result of my conscious creation and not anything else.
So I decided in my mind that this friend would message me on instagram, I decided I didn't care if it was a text message or sharing a reel (though he normally sent reels so that would be most likely). I could still feel uncertainty over this after deciding so I decided it would happen the next day (today) in order for the test results to be more verifiable as not having a deadline could mean he could message me next year lol, too vague. I briefly saw it in my mind's eye the message but didn't dwell on it after, I just decided it would happen. Aaaanyway, I opened my IG messages earlier and GUESS WHO MESSAGED ME WITH A REEL!! I just laughed and got so excited, not because of receiving the message itself (since I let go of desiring anything from him long ago) but because of the proof it represented of my conscious creation! I want to emphasize this distinction because I had tried to "manifest" a text from him in the same way so many times before (because it's been a repeating cycle for so long lol) but it also came from a desire and attachment for the message itself (and connection with the person), while this time there was none of that but was from a non-attached perspective of just experimenting and testing my ability and wanting to practice and improve it. I want to add that I also had previously used LOA to "reality shift" to a "different reality" where he had messaged me the same day instead of leaving me on read for several weeks through "imagination" (this was way before I learned about non-duality so it was still driven by attachment and desire) but I gotta say this way of simply deciding it to be so is so much easier, simpler and better than having to "live and persist in imagination" lol but to each their own I guess?
So anyway, this is really exciting for me and I am going to continue on this way for fun!
🥳
Thank you for sharing your experience, that's awesome and I'm happy for you! 💖 Keep having fun and feel free to keep us updated on your future experiments!
This is the post anon was talking about. I highly recommend Lester's books for those who haven't read them yet (or have but want a refresher).
Edit: Adding this excerpt from The Ultimate Truth with my highlights
Neville Goddard
Take a moment, let these words sink in.
Every moment we inhabit different emotional states. Sometimes we are afraid. Sometimes we feel infused with love. You can choose to dwell in a state that is beneficial to you. Every day I choose to dwell in the knowing that my desires are mine, no matter what. I even tell myself these words out loud when I feel a need to.
Often I just say the word, “Unconditionally.” Because, every part of me – and every part of the universe already knows exactly what I want, and there really is no need to micromanage, unless I really, really want to.
When I see something I don’t like, I allow myself to feel whatever arises because I’m not afraid that my emotions will doom me to some horrible manifestation. I know that I am God, and so there is nothing to fear, not even fear itself. As I remember to Remember who I am, I find comfort in knowing that I am safe. I am whole, and that is true no matter what imperfections my sharp mind can detect.
I no longer allow anything to step between me and my relationship with myself. When nothing is allowed to come between my unending love and loyalty to myself – not even self-loathing – this can be referred to as embodying the state of divine unconditional love: the Godself. A god is always on her own side. She never beats herself up for anything.
It is important to remember that all emotions are only passing states of being. Just as the sun rises and throws Earth into a state of light, then falls to put Earth into a state of darkness, our states are fleeting. In fact, our states say very little about who we truly are. They can be helpful, and they can be unhelpful. The only thing that every state has in common is its impermanence.
If we choose to, we can consciously select to live within the state of the wish fulfilled. This means that we feel safe, secure, no matter the circumstances. Feeling safe also means that we can feel whatever we feel without being punished for it. So, the state that I choose to dwell in every day is knowing that all my desires are already mine and granted to me. I choose to dwell in the state of safety. This does not mean that I do not feel worry or concern. It means that my predominant state is one of safety, and of knowing that my desires are mine no matter what.
When ‘bad’ feelings arise, I remember that I’m merely visiting this state for a few fleeting moments. Sometimes this moment passes in a second, other times the moment can stretch into minutes, hours and days, and that’s okay. It’s only a state, and I’m not bothered by it because I know that it cannot intervene in my receiving of my desires. It might be uncomfortable, yes, but it has no power over my life and manifestations. I–the I that I AM—My GODSELF– remain unmoved from within. Like an enormous mountain that is unmoved by a gust of wind (temporary states). My true self is GOD.
When difficult emotions arise within you remember this: No matter how dark you go, or how painful it is it cannot stop you from manifesting and living the fulfillment of your desires. Let go of your fears of negativity right now. Letting go of the fear is the same as accepting it is there. Like Bruce Almighty, you can scream, “Smite me almighty smiter!” because you know that nothing that could ever happen you can destroy you, or get in the way of your desire. So why fight the powerless circumstances of your life? They mean nothing.
I deeply know the meaning of pain. I consider myself a Master of Pain, for I have suffered and hurt so deeply that I can not even understand how it is possible that I am still alive. Pain sucks and is completely unnecessary. And for a very long time, I suffered immensely because of my pain. I hated pain, warred against pain, cursed pain, and had I had a magic wand I would have ‘Avada Kedavrad ‘the living hell out of pain. Even worse, I was resisting my pain with my mind, and every bit of my consciousness. I had been destroyed so utterly so many times that I was at constant war with my own suffering. Then one day, out of pure desperate, *desperate,* desperation I could no longer hold on. The cost of holding on was so much greater than the cost of letting go and surrendering into the pain so that it might finally destroy me and obliterate me from within.
For so long, I had done my very best. Kept my vibration high, been good, done right… but the suffering had always continued because deep within I was rejecting life, I was rejecting my pain. I was rejecting myself and every life experience that had brought me to this point. I couldn’t believe or understand why God – I would cause me so much suffering. Why had death torn a deep trench of loss into the very core of my being, why had I been betrayed, abused, neglected, hurt… why oh why, of why?
All my life I had been searching for answers. All my life I had been trying to make things right. I did everything, other than allowing my pain to consume me. And in the end, that was the only choice left to me.
To tell you that it was easy to feel it all so deeply would be a lie. To tell you that my escape impulses were dormant, would also be to tell a life. Every part of me was in escape mode. Every instinct was to flee the suffering. To hide. To make it go away. But I refused. I knew that I only had this last option left, and I was in so much pain that it no longer mattered if **feeling** it all destroyed me. Nothing of who I was was worth preserving. There was no way I could continue living as I had. It was death or metaphorical death. Either way, I had to die to my suffering, and so I persisted. And so I did. I died a million deaths for each trauma that had been held prisoner within me. I cried so much that it felt as if I might actually die from dehydration, but I refused to return to my old way of being. I talked to my own heart, I spoke lovingly to my poor little human self. I told myself, “I am right here and I’m not leaving. If we die we die together.”
The aspect of me that spoke to soothe me was my Godself. That higher aspect of being that is always who we are, though our minds may go to great lengths to deny it.
The experience was darker than the darkest night of the soul, and I had experienced many in my life. Suffering had entered my reality early on. Loss has ravaged my heart since childhood. Tears, manic shouting at the universe, every dramatic thing - I did it. I allowed myself to do it. Because if there was one thing I’d never do again it was to stand in opposition of myself. I’d never abandon my human self again, no matter the mess of this human monstrosity.
And as I felt as if my very soul was ripping into a billion pieces, the only thing I could do was scream to myself, ”I love you anyway. I don’t care if you never get better. I don’t care if you never get what you want. I am here, right next to you and I will be with you until the end. Unconditionally. **Unconditionally.**”
I truly went Gollum style crazy.
My only solace was meditation and going within. Not as a form of escapism, but as a return home to the only place where I am whole. I meditated for hours a day because the only place left for me was going into the silence. It was my only sanctuary. And I allowed every shiver of panic and the empty hollow in my belly to get saturated by tears even as I meditated until, somehow, the silence met me and I became it. I was home within my being, mounted into the awareness of my Godself. I was elevated to the infinite field where I am a Witnesser of my human aspects, and my heart overflowed with love.
Beautiful, profound love. As the parent loves a child. As Earth loves all her creatures. As the Universe loves every star.
I treated myself as if I were my own child and each time I broke I simply held my whole self within my heart. The energy I gave myself was one of allowance and acceptance. I did not try to force my mind to love myself. I only allowed my mind to be itself. I did not try to fix or change.
I had tried that my whole life without true healing. I did not suppress - I was fed up with being silent and being held hostage to ’the school of positive thought’. I let the reins go, and surrendered into the loving arms of creation itself. My fate was no longer my own. I no longer had the stamina to let my mind control the show.
I decided that nothing, not even shitty failed manifestations would get in my way of accepting myself anymore. I wouldn’t even let my rejection of myself bring me down. Instead, I would feel my rejection fully and own how much I hated it all. I allowed myself to marinate in every judgment, fear and feeling. I told myself that even if all my doubts are real and I’m stuck in suffering forever at least I’ll reclaim the last ounce of power that I have left. The power to be my own best friend. The power I have to remain loyal to myself even if creation itself has shunned me.
And… in allowing myself - no exception - I was finally free. Free to get dark, scary and hateful without judgment. And as soon as I was free the true transformation began. I was able to naturally feel love and light again without fearful OCD. I finally gave myself permission to be good enough for myself even if I was good enough for nothing else.
I proved my loyalty to myself because I let go of all the conditions I had clung to as an excuse to withhold love from myself.
I mattered to me. The circumstances of my life could rot in hell for all I care. Screw everything. I’m sticking to myself.
My human self was my baby, perfect, vulnerable and so, so worthy of love and unconditional support. I would be her mother and father and love her - no matter what. No matter the pain, darkness or treachery. No matter a million failed manifestations and 1000 lifetimes of despair.
I am the only human that can do it. The only one who knows and sees all the hidden aspects of myself, and the only one who can fully appreciate how hard I battled and how utterly I was destroyed. So too, you are the only one that can do it for yourself.
I am my only true witness, as you are your only true witness. And your heart and human self have yearned to be witnessed for centuries upon centuries of lifetimes.
How then can we forsake our bleeding hearts by turning away from and resisting the pain of the traumatised human? The human needs you – GOD – to remain by her side and see her through the darkness.
The trauma is real for the human. We don't have to accept it. Yet when we allow it to exist our trauma transforms into the passageway that leads to our liberation. True freedom. A place beyond fear. Because you’ve already got your own back and that is truly all you need. And once you’ve stepped up and taken back your sovereign power, the universe will do nothing but mirror this back to you. You are awake. The time of suffering has come to a close.
Manifestation and life be damned. You are not obliged to do anything. But life, you will find, rewards the one who has made peace with themselves.
I argue that the only reward worth having is peace. The only manifestation worth chasing is the gentle allowing of unconditional love.
When peace is lacking we can never enjoy our manifestation anyway. We fear losing it. We fear that getting it was a fluke and we quickly find something new to obsess and worry about. That is not freedom, that is enslavement to the dominion of mind. And since your Godself/Spirit/Soul/True Self/Higher self wants to bring every aspect of you back to wholeness its actions behind the scenes may seem to cause and trigger pain as it ’withholds’ manifestations.
In reality, your entire being has decided that it will no longer be a slave. More than anything, you are called to freedom. And you will get there, no matter the cost.
When you sit with yourself and remember who you are, the fear falls away. You understand that you do not need to fear the state that you occupy at any given moment. You understand that no matter what you are always God, and to God, all things are always possible and created.
You are God. Not an overactive ego that seeks dominion over all things, but the only thing that ever was and ever will be. There is no separation. No worthy vs. unworthy. It is all one and this ONE is who you are: the I that I AM. It is all the same.
Each state, feeling, circumstance and manifestation belongs to you. Each can be transformed by you. Each is yours for the taking. You do not have to accept it to be true, it is the only truth no matter what you think, say or do.
When you try, this is the time to remind yourself of who you are. Trying implies that you see yourself as separate. Remember that nothing is required for you to be who you are because you can never stop being your essential nature, and this nature is GOD.
“It is your father’s good pleasure to give you the Kingdom. You do not earn it. It is not your due, it’s not a reward. It’s simply a gift, unmerited. And therefore you cannot lose it. The gift is irrevocable. So no man can take it from you, no man can give it to you, so let no one frighten you. It’s yours and it's coming on time, and the gift is nothing less than God himself. When he gives you the kingdom, he gives you himself. For the kingdom is not a realm, the kingdom is a character, it’s a body. And that body is perfect, and wherever you are clothed in that body, everything around you is perfect.”
There are no requirements to manifesting your desire, and you know **it is done** by reminding yourself of this absence of requirement. No matter what you do, think or feel, it is done regardless. You are free to be as you want to be. Without filters or alterations.
Even if you can’t feel the truth of these words then at least accept them as true. Accept that you are GOD, accept that your desires are true and that it is done. You cannot escape who you are and you are GOD, whether you believe it or not.
You choose the state you wish to occupy every time you state the words “I AM” or “MY”... will you choose victimhood? Or will you choose to remember who you truly are?
There are no requirements. You can be sucky if you want to. It won’t make any difference. It is still done. You might just not be as happy as you would like to be, but the thing is still yours. You don’t need to change or be perfect. You just are what you are, and everything will work out anyway. And as the need to adjust fades away, and makes space for surrendered awareness you will actually feel your power build. Ironically, you will feel freer than ever when you stop imposing your (mind/ego-centered) will. You will have embodied the truth of who you are–your GODSELF.
Every single littlest thing is part of the fulfillment of your desires. It is all the bridge of events that leads you to the experience of every desire. Without requirements, or exceptions: **It is Done.**
”Each person is born with an infinite power, against which no earthly force is of the slightest significance.” Neville Goddard
My notes: This is basically a TLDR version of my first 4dbarbie remix post How to realise Self. My original intention for that post was actually to make something like this, a really straightforward (and short lol) practical guide on how to let go of the ego in order to realize Self that I could refer to and apply on a day to day basis. It ended up being a long essay (it was over 3000 words aha) as I decided to go through all her posts and answered asks and found a lot of important information to include so it sort of became more of an educational post (which I'm glad to have made and it helped me understand everything better too!). So anyway, here it is. Pretty much all of the below information was taken from my How to realise Self post (besides the suggested exercises section at the bottom) - I just extracted the more practical guidance outside the explanations to make it.
My personal notes and highlights are in pink for main points and purple for 'action' points.
Just let go of the ego, that’s how simple it is. All you need to fix is your wrong identification. There isn't anyone who couldn’t materialize anything right now if he or she would just let go of identifying as the limited body. 1
Stop thinking you are Vanessa, the thoughts of needing this or that drop away. To change, you need to give up this conviction of being this person. You need to disbelieve. 2 A lot of beliefs are subconscious. "I am a body", "I am Vanessa", "There is a world" are all subconscious, automatic beliefs. Upon investigation you can get rid of any belief (by making them conscious and then dropping them). 14 How do you drop a belief? (see part 1 and part 2)
All you need to do is detach from this form during the day, let life happen as it happens while reminding yourself it's a dream, a dream that doesn't have to be yours. 3
What I recommend you to do is bring your self into focus, become aware of your own existence. See how you function, watch the motives and the results of your actions. Study the prison you have built around yourself because of credulity. By knowing what you are not, you come to know your self. The way back to your self is through refusal and rejection. 4
Leave your mind alone, that is all. Don't go along with it. 5 Thoughts will keep on coming for a while, just now you know they have nothing to do with you. Get into a habit of watching, letting them be but not identifying with them. If you can observe them, it means you are not them. 6
Step away and look (observe). The physical events will go on happening, but by themselves they have no importance. It is your mind alone that matters. When you identify yourself with them, you are their slave, you think you have to act on them. When you stand apart, you are their master 7
Just stop taking the thoughts you don't like for truth or reality. There is no convincing involved, it is all letting go. 8 Doesn't matter what the thought is, leave it alone, ignore it BUT not by force of will, just indifference 9
Start letting go bit by bit, just to see what happens. You won't start "acting crazy" just because you become uninterested in thoughts, I promise 10
You don't need to convince yourself they're unreal, just dismiss them (the thoughts) as not yours. They will disappear more and more through your newfound indifference, then their physical counterparts will, too. Detachment is by doubt and indifference. First you start doubting "the facts", then you become indifferent to the facts, lastly there are no facts anymore and you can establish your own. 9
Your next step will be realizing there is nothing to learn in a dream. You'll find yourself having less and less thoughts, then none at all. Then, only if you want, you will be able to reinstall the mind, now of your choice, and change the dream. 3
All you need is to get rid of the tendency to define your self. All definitions apply to your body only and to its expressions. Once this obsession with the body goes, you will revert to your natural state, spontaneously and effortlessly. 4
Be patient with yourself because you don't lose any time, just get to that place I'm telling you about and then you can just go back in time if you so wish. All worry is pointless! And there is nothing to fear, things just happen, do not claim them as yours for a while. Unclutter your mind, it becomes your servant after you've freed it enough. 11
Reminder: This body and this world are not forced onto you, they exist through your identification with them. Not yours, remember? Repeat. Not yours. You won't lose your mind, you'll only lose your misery. After you've detached, you'll easily shift to as many realities as you want - don't put any on a pedestal of desire, they are equal. See this world and the body as not real first. What is true is only what I AM is identified with, right now this body which is not in that TV show (referring to anon's desire). Correct this first by letting go of thinking it's you. 12
Suggested exercises (not required if you don't want to do it!)
1. Sitting in silence & just being with no thoughts - The whole point of sitting in silence is to realize what you are, pure beingness. Awareness only becomes consciousness when it has an object. The object changes all the time. In consciousness there is movement; awareness by itself is motionless and timeless, here and now. 4
2. Start doubting you'll wake up as Vanessa tomorrow - Not to get it, but consider it actually… What if… I wake up tomorrow and I realize an entire life has been just a dream?! Equal to the one I dreamt last night?! What if you wake up and realize it all was a nightmare that you THOUGHT went on for years and it's just been a few hours... even get scared and terrified about that thought. Better than getting scared about non-reality.
WHAT IN THE WORLD?! That never was... but I felt it so real, I swear I was her?! Yet here you are, awake, and the dream never was.
Do it like that. Doubt that it's anything but a dream as much as possible. 13
Sources:
Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14
In-text links: 1, 2, 3, 4
Here's the thing
The misconception of something "not working" is because you think there is "an ego" here to obtain something.. there isn't. The ego doesn't truly exist; it's just an illusion. You, as "THAT", already have everything you seemingly desire because nothing exists beyond "THAT"/you. It's an illusion that blinds your eyes, preventing you from seeing that you are already what you seemingly seek. Don't believe the "observer" is here, and the "observed" is there. The "observer" doesn't exist; everything is "THAT".
No one is observing; there's only the seemingly "observed".
How do you know you're seemingly perceiving something through "senses"? Isn't it because you were aware before interpreting it as "seeing, feeling, smelling, etc"? You think you're seeing, but no one is; it's just the "image" seeing itself. You think you're hearing, but no one is; it's just the "sound" hearing itself. It's all "THAT". Nothing is happening to you because there is no "body" here; you are the "screen", and these appearances happen "within" "THAT", on "THAT", AS "THAT".
You simply exist fullstop.
And you know that, even without "senses".
"IT" does not need confirmation of existence through five senses; they are not what you perceive any experience with. Transcended them and this world. You lose the illusion of being here or there, trying to find your place; you only experience a still, unmoving existence. Even if the "illusory body" moves, you know you are still, becoming a stationary space allowing things to move within. Because you are not the body; the body is within you. Everything "you want" is there, on yourself; it can truly be felt you're not here because you're not the body. You'll realize you are the formless, nameless source of everything you seem to desire. You don't need to search or wait for another experience which is "THAT"; you are "THAT" now. This is the present truth."
~ infinite.ko / Koda & Dawa