THE DOUBLE DOG

Artwork by: Mark Fielding

regular lobsters start out as just little lobsters but spiny lobsters start out as these beautiful weird larvae that also evolved to ride on top of jellyfish. This jellyfish is too small though!!!

death will not do us part you stupid cunt

Addicted to target dot com bootleg Audrey 2s.

what is this, a fourth grade classroom?

Consent Education.

executive dysfunction is telling yourself for two and a half hours that you need to shower bc you smell like your workplace and you absolutely Cannot do Anything Else until you shower, doing Any Other Thing before showering is illegal!!! but you still haven’t for some reason??? you’ve just been sitting on your bed in a towel scrolling tumblr for 2+ hours thinking “I need to shower right now immediately” and growing increasingly frustrated that you are still not clean and you haven’t eaten or done your laundry either

So I’m at dinner w my cousin and I asked her how she’s adjusting moving to an apartment and having to cook for herself for the first time and she looked at me with defeat in her eyes and said, “I don’t know how to live.”

"Billow me harder"

- our barbarian with a magical cloak of billowing after successfully seducing the vice mayor with a nat 20

Later: “My cloak doesn’t billow anymore, it’s limp”