✨ 🥺

let me fuck you in a church so your god can watch you pray to me instead 🧡

So I’m at dinner w my cousin and I asked her how she’s adjusting moving to an apartment and having to cook for herself for the first time and she looked at me with defeat in her eyes and said, “I don’t know how to live.”

Don’t forget the first victims when you go see Oppenheimer this opening weekend. Unforgivable not to include them in the narrative.

We love us some Nolan and Cillian but this is also a story that should never have taken place.

For further reading:

This is what happens when the US government goes nuclear-crazy during the Cold War and mines a shit ton of uranium. Lambs born with three legs and no eyes, and human stillbirths and agonizing deformities for those that survive. For decades it was referred to as a Navajo-specific hereditary illness. No one made the link to the mines and the drinking water.

I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”

Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.

I think Joan of Arc's fursona would be a dog called Joan of Bark, but my partner thinks it would be a phoenix, which seems insensitive to me, but neither of us are furries, so I guess we don't really get a say either way.

Dicranurus monstrosus - odontopleurid trilobite that lived in a shallow sea that lay between Euramerica and Gondwana, corresponding to modern-day Oklahoma and New York, and Morocco, respectively. As such, their fossils are found in New York, Oklahoma, and Morocco - average size of fossil is 2″ long - Lower to Middle Devonian - 380 million years ago

I’ve been making gay knights (and ladies) collages on my phone at work

(Part two)

I think friends should still be able to homoerotically sword fight each other in a 'i want to kill you but not really but also being very gay about it' kind of way