Im Just Tired - Blog Posts

It's 6 am, I am not tired, but I have not slept.

I swear I'm trying to change whatever's wrong with me.

It gets hard when the happier I am the less ok I feel.

When the more I let myself hug my friends the more being touched makes me want to hurl.

The more I care about everyone else, the less I care about myself.

The less I let them hate themselves the more I hate myself.

I try to work outside in but It feels more like turning myself inside out.

Why is it so hard for me to like myself half as much as I love everyone else?

Why is it so difficult to care about myself yet so easy to take care of everyone else?

Why do I feel like I'm giving myself away

Why do I feel like they hate me

Why do I feel so hopeless

Why do I feel so lost

Why can't I feel anything...?

Please, for the love of god, let me smile and breathe at the same time

Let me actually feel all those emotions I was promised

Someone make me less selfish.

Is it just me or could these two:

(Miles Teller and Milo Manheim)

Play brothers in a movie.

Heh...,I Suppose If You Wanna Do Fanart Of My Fabulous,"Carcat",Story That I'm Making, I Wanna Watch It In Other Artist's Wonderful Style...🐷👹-Rascal/Kun,(Indeed,Quarantine Caught Me,But I'm Happy That It Shall Be O. At Last...)

WHAT DID I SAY?? HOW COULD YOU EVER DOUBT ME!! /silly

(So for those who don’t know, there was an official Inanimate Insanity ARG that happened on mainly Twitter, and people solved it like, REALLY REALLY quickly, and this is what was shown in return for solving it, (video not made by me))

Inanimate Insanity S2 EP16 and EP17 spoilers??

After watching the episode, I’ve been looking at the reactions from people on this site and a lot of them are similar, saying that they, “can’t just end the show like that”, or just expressing general sadness of the show being “finished”.

However, no, inanimate insanity is (most likely) not ending like that. How do I know? Well it’s by looking at the language used for the finale episodes.

In the trailers for inanimate insanity they talk about them as “act 1” and “act 2” like the image below shows in the trailer for II 17 and II 16.

Which, if you don’t know what that’s referring to, it’s talking about the 3 act structure usually found in pieces of media like films and plays.

Seeing as how in the II ep 16 trailer it describes it as a movie as shown below, it’s most likely not a coincidence.

(Below is a general outline of the 3 act structure that I found through google on a website called “Reedsy Blog”.)

Since II 16 and 17 released, it means we’re already through the first 2 acts, meaning that the final act will include the climax and the falling action.

(Heres a description of the climax and falling action I found on google)

So yeah, that’s it really. I mainly made this post to hopefully calm people’s worries about episodes 16 and 17!

(Even though this may worry people even more lol! Like, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES MORE?!)

(Admittedly I don’t know that much about the 3 act structure, I’m just going off what I know and have seen)

Growth

Growth is great until you slowly out grow people you thought would always be with you.

So apparently I have social anxiety... Who would've guessed😅

Going into 2nd year of uni feeling like I wasted a year...

Kinda wanna runaway. Disappear.

I feel like I'm the problem.

I feel like everyone around me is growing and getting meaningful relationships and for some reason I'm struggling to do so.

Cleaned my room for the first time in a while. I forgot I had a floor and how much space I have.

In a land of work, and a time of capitalism the paycheck of a odd teen rests in the porcelain of a borrowed coffee cup. His name...

Caffeine.

Honestly, I feel it's very uncool of me to be alive rn

Today's stream is gonna be a bit depressing.

This week has been genuinely harsh to me and mom, but today we had found out that a lot of our things back at the old house I had mentioned before is officially gone.

I barely held it together after hearing that, but on stream I ended up getting emotional while explaining what happened.

Im sorry to everyone that watches my streams to relax and get away from your own harsh realities, I just needed to express my deep sadness of losing a lot of items i might never get back. Some that had been given to me by my dad, such as books and knives he used to collect.

I genuinely don't know what to do anymore and after this week, I don't think I ever will. Im tired. I just want to rest and stop fighting what is just a losing battle with life.

Currently on stream im just trying to do a quick edit on the minecraft vod on youtube and pulling up a video for chat to watch so you guys don't have to sit there and hear my sniffling the whole time.

Hopefully I can bounce back from this but we will see tomorrow.

Thank you for reading and in sorry for bringing down the mood on stream.

This close to beating the ever living hell out of my English professor 🙂🤞

as i sit here and hear the news of a death in my life i yearn for the void state more than ever. I have my 17 page google doc, I have the drive, I hear the stories of us needing more money, I just need it all to change. i’ll do every method in the book if i have to. I know i am capable of great things. i know i’ll succeed.

TW: I was supposed to promise that it would be a multi-fandom here, but many of you said that you are also here for my artstyle (*Le cri* thank you :')). This time it's not multi-fandom, it's just me (Sorry for this shit, I'll keep drawing art on fandoms soon :') )

Listening and singing along to sad musical theatre songs: much easier to cry, cry more than usual, 12/10 definitely recommend.

me: hmmm i need some background music to complete the presentation for tomorrow's class.

also me: *play the falsettos soundtrack* perfect.

It doesn’t seem like much but I just failed for the third time on the exact same project and I’ve already spent way too much money on it and it’s after 1am and I think I might cry but I don’t want to wake my wife up.

My least favorite thing about being a very naturally cold person is when I get out of bed for not even a minute and when I’m back it’s already ice cold again. That took all my body heat :(

I swear my head is like a demented south park episode. Where nothing is taken seriously, theres random spurts of arguments and every so often theres just “as we fall in line..” “SHUT UP TYLER JOSEPH”

“i’m doing great” oh how perfectly lovely for you. i am personally at the point where any minor inconvenience turns me into geralt of rivia