Body Dysphoria - Blog Posts

I know im supposed to love myself and be happy but god damn is it hard. There's days where i can say, "yeah i look really cute" or if i need to say something nice about myself i can say, "i have a nice smile" but there are other days where i just cant.

Im just exhausted and i can only see a fat tummy and chubby arms with no muscle and a small double chin and weird legs and a feminine smile and feminine eyes and too big hips and no facial hair and and and

I can see these things in other people and be enamored and be gaping at their beauty. Its just not okay for me to have these things. I know thats not true, but i still think it

I dont know what to do

I’m like the exact same but in reverse :(

body dysphoria sucks.

every time i look in the mirror its someone new who stares back at me.

a face, with features i have had since birth, changing every 34th second

yet every time i look at my reflection it is the same little girl who stared ahead at me.

a face, with features i have had since birth, the solemn look i get when the tide is just out of reach

I forgot to wear a long sleeved shirt after a nap and mom knows about the sh now, im realising that I've never truly felt joy in my life even though this and my early childhood is supposedly the period of it that everyone cherishes and deem as the "glory days", I can't kill myself because there are people who care about me and when they die I'll most likely have met new ones that I can't disappoint either, I'm forever trapped in a human body and whenever I look at my reflection I'm not seeing anything remotely similar to me, I have no one to talk to without being yelled at for being dumb and unlikeable and having childish interests that no one wants to know about, i don't even work out but i still tell one of my aquaintances that i do because if i don't he's going to be disappointed and talk to someone else which I can't have cause he's one of the few people I actually fucking talk to and I legally cannot just sleep all day until summer vacation.

i just want to be feel pretty

friendly PSA to my tguy mooties :

you do NOT need to be fully flat. binders very rarely make you completely flat unless you're already quite small-chested. you don't need to live up to the unreal expectation that tguys are flatter than a board.

furthermore, a lot of cis guys have chest mass too. pec muscles are obviously a thing!

you don't need to fulfill anyone's expectations or ideas of tguys. you don't live to please anyone. it's completely fine to wish you WERE flatter since that's a thing a lot of tguys feel, but you shouldn't feel obligated to have to be flat, or else you aren't "valid enough."

love you all.

Eww I hate how chunky my legs are. I am a 4'10 male who really could use some help slimming down everything but especially my legs.

Stats: Goal:

120lbs. <90lbs

4'10" can't change lol

Calf: 15" <11"

Thigh: 25" <16"

Waist: 22" 18"

Chest: unknown

No showing collarbone 🤧 COLLARBONE

i really needed to hear this :')

selfshippers who don’t identify with their real life body/appearance, who have gender/species dysphoria, who are therian, otherkin, or whatever else…

having a self-insert that doesn’t look like you irl is 100% valid.

your f/o sees you for your true self, not how you appear in real life.

all those “your f/o loves your physical body” posts? they don’t apply if you don’t want them to.

your f/o loves you.

the real version of you that might exist only in your head.

however many kintypes or personas you may have, your f/o recognizes and appreciates them.

your real body means nothing to your f/o, because it’s not you, it’s just the vessel that you are trapped in for the time being.

<3

Period Drama

author: lil_fubsy

summary:

“Crap, I got distracted again!” He scolded himself as he quickly put his books in his bag. “I’ll ask Jack for some notes during flight class, and maybe we can study together for the test sometime next…” He trailed off as he went to push in his seat. His face paled in horror.

There were red smears all over the seat. ------------------------------------ Epel bleeds through his clothes and hopes that no one finds out. He wasn't expecting a certain redhead to be his savior though.

Sometimes, I think that it'd be better, if I'd be a man. I could look like I want, I wouldn't have boobs, and periods, and people would see in me personality, not just boobs and vagina. I hate fact of being girl. I hate fact of that people will refer to me as she/her even when I told them to refer me as they/them/it/its.

Boot sequence finished. You "wake up" for the morning, but your internal clock says you've slept in which is odd. You attempt to move but get some kind of error message, and before you can process why you're immobile you hear your Girlfriend's smooth and sultry voice;

"Good morning my love," she coos at you, "I think it's time we do some maintenance on that cute chassis of yours."

The errors you get back read that something is overriding you in your own body. Something inside you has more authority in your body than you do.

"Oh you must have noticed the new software, it's nothing my sweet machine," she softly says, caressing your face, "Just something I can use to help me with this."

Before you can process what "This" is, she reaches down to your hip area with a screwdriver and starts fiddling around. You can feel every touch, every turning of the screwdriver, and every screw as it falls away from you. She barks out a verbal command that seemingly is unable to be processed consciously by you as you get a notification from your OS that your leg is being detached.

She holds it up to you, grinning from ear to ear. Reaching down she pulls up a large toolbox onto the bed.

"You never got to choose your chassis, and I know how dysphoric that makes you, so how about I take you apart piece by piece and repair, change, or replace everything that causes you turmoil?"

She plugs her phone into your neck port and sends files to you. Dozens of different legs, arms, torsos, and even heads. Thousands of dollars each, you speak your concern to your girlfriend who just assures you "The price tag is nothing compared to your happiness."

You try not to think about how her software she installed on you has seemingly more control of your body than you do, and focus on the fact that you finally get to be who and what you want to. Finally able to pick and choose and become the machine you always wanted to be.

Finally able to be happy in your own plating.

Fictober Day 10

"Loving you is the easiest thing in the world."

SamBucky, post-TFATWS, happy!Bucky, trans!Bucky, body dysphoria, body dysmorphia. Mentions of transphobia/homophobia.

Idea from this post!

Bucky stared at himself in the mirror after a shower, towel tied around his waist, water dropping from his hair. He glared at the scars decorating his body; the ones under his pecs, the ones curved over the joint of his left shoulder, and various other nicks littered about his skin.

But the ones he was most concerned about were the ones under his pecs. The ones made with the most caution, even and curved.

He had gotten a surgery back in the 30's, where it was never approved of to be ‘different’ in that way. Where he could've be killed just for being a man, or for loving a man.

The two ideas contradicted each other when it came to the logic of such bigoted people- who Bucky later learned were called transphobic and homophobia. On one hand, if people had known, Bucky would have never been considered a man. But on the other, he would be when it came to dating one.

He always found it ridiculous. It had always made his chest ache deeply and his eyes prick up.

As he stared in the mirror, he began to cry, hatred for his body popping up in his mind. Part of him knew that Sam didn't care, but he still couldn't help but think, just for a moment, that maybe he was in the way of Sam experiencing something real.

A knock comes from the bathroom door, Sam's voice concerned as he speaks.

“Bucky? You alright in there, man?”

Bucky hiccups, shaking his head. “N-No.”

Sam immediately cracks the door open, peaking in, met with the sight of Bucky's hands clenched on thd edge of the counter, tears pouring down his face as he stared in the mirror with a disgusted look.

“How… How could you love this?” He hiccups, gesturing to his chest. Sam inches his way in, closing the door behind him as he places a hand on Bucky's shoulder.

“Bucky, loving you is the easiest thing in the world. You know that, right? I don't care what parts you have or don't, man. It doesn't matter. Because I love you.”

Bucky sniffs, looking over at him with a sad look, a soft pout on his lips. “Promise?”

“I promise.” Sam says, smiling gently as he runs a hand through Bucky's hair. “Now. How about we get you dressed and get some breakfast? You must be starving.”

Bucky hiccups as he nods, turning to throw his arms around Sam, face in his shoulder. Sam holds him tightly with no quarrels on how long they stood there. He could care less if they stood there until Bucky was completely dry and they had both grown gray hairs. It didn't matter as long as Bucky was cared for.

“I got you.” He says, holding Bucky close as he calms down.

Once he is calm, Bucky withdraws, swiping at his face. He takes in a shuddering breath as he takes the moment to smile at Sam.

“You're the best damn boyfriend I've ever had, Sam.” He says, face flushing. “But I guess that ain't much a competition.”

Sam chuckles and presses a kiss to Bucky's forehead before leading him to their room, sitting him down on the edge of the bed as he grabs Bucky's clothes.

Bucky immediately starts changing himself, hanging up his towel once he was done. He takes Sam's hand without another word and starts leading him towards the kitchen.

Sam starts breakfast, Bucky watching him from the kitchen table as the two chat about everything and nothing, exchanging small smiles and flirty jokes.

Being in a relationship sucks when your body/weight keeps changing.

I know that 7 kg to or from is not the biggest difference to others, but explaining that it will go back and forth every few months like this for years to come, to a partner that found you attractive at one end of the scale (when you met) just sucks. Especially the weeks when i feel disgusting because of my weight and do not want to be ✨perceived✨