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3 months ago

Being

Being

I love being me. I love being. I get to feel and experience the things around me. I get to make friends and do whatever I put my mind to. I have to power to make what I want happen. I can only do that If I can be. I can only do as much as I have if I’m breathing, if I’m waking, if I’m embracing myself the purest, most honest form of myself. I can only do this if I remember that I, and the rest of us, are human; are being. Just like me.


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4 months ago
WHERE'D YOU ALL COME FROM Σ┗(@ロ@;)┛

WHERE'D YOU ALL COME FROM Σ┗(@ロ@;)┛

Hello :333333333

AHHHHSBABABAJANAJAJAJA????!?!

AHHHHSBABABAJANAJAJAJA????!?!

THANK YOU GUYS SM !! ✧*。٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و✧*。 

Honestly it means the absolute WORLD to me that I even gained a following on here and I love and appreciate you all so sooo much 🧡🧡

I started this account when I was very sick, in and out of hospitals with various health problems (which needed surgeries to correct), resulting in me being bed bound for a while.

Hazbin came out around the same time as when I fell ill, and I ADORED the pilot back in 2019, sooo it was a little spark of joy for me in the darkness that was life ┓(;´_`)┏

As for the writing part, I used to write a bunch of stuff in my notes for the various fandoms I was in but was always too scared to post them.

Idk what happened but I got a burst of confidence and made this account (๑·̀ㅁ·́๑)✧

Fun fact actually I was drugged up on pain meds when I made a lot of my older posts 😭


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12 years ago
dclcq - dclcq

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3 years ago

What good is helping people when the only things you get acknowledged for is your mistakes? Mistakes, made because you are just human, and all you were trying to do was help?


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7 years ago

For me

What would you do if you wake up tommorow morning and realize that you are not that person anymore. That you have changed overnight. How would you react when you realize that you dont remember anything at all what happened. What would you do if you suddenly found yourself in a time span much much ahead of where you last were.

I dont know either. But somehow, somewhere I feel that I am lost. Lost in my own life. My own vicious cycle of finding myself. Being good to myself. Being the person whom I am expected to be. Whom I expect to be.

I am tired of deciding things in life after analyzing whether I am becoming what they always doubted that I would become. I am tired of the realization that I have lost track of myself.

I want to live for me. Decide for me. And do or dont do things because I want to or dont want to. I dont want to stop doing something just because maybe that is what I am becoming. I am tired of justifying everything I do. I am tired of fulfilling the expectations of others. I am tired of not becoming and sick of living for others.

I want to be me and live for me decide for me and understand me justify me feel happy for me guilty towards me and me me and me no one else.


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1 month ago

Words run through my veins

like a river

through my heart,

the pulse of life -

blue, purple, and green -

nourishing

my soul and my being

Prismatic memories

ebb in silence

Shimmering hope

flows through my dreams


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5 months ago

Stop living life as if you are on a timeline.

There is not set deadline for success and achievements.

It is okay to wander and take the scenic route.

Life is not a straight line.


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7 months ago
I'd Walk Into The Sea And Never Come Back

I'd walk into the sea and never come back


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2 years ago
Mario Au For My Ocs…
Mario Au For My Ocs…

mario au for my ocs…


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4 months ago

- listening to nfr on loop

- being so over people

- fighting The Urge

all point to signs period is coming but she's not due for two weeks... right? aunt flow honey please come early i'd really appreciate not hosting you while traveling <3


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5 months ago

"Hope comes so naturally to you."

I read this line over and over again and sometimes I wish, it didn't. Sometimes, I wish hope didn't come easily to me. Sometimes, I just wish your comforting nihilism and words of how it shall all turn to dust either way appealed to me naturally.

I walk around this world and as I grow, I learn more of it. I see the destruction, the ruins we send our environment into, the hatred that spreads like a deadly poison, the bigotry, the complete breakdown this economy is having around us, the rich become richer and the poor only grow poorer. The divide, the ignorance, just the sheer amount of misery-- Misery. The common affliction to human condition.

And yet, I hate to think, 'Nothing will change'.

It would be *so* easy to. But I cannot.

Because I don't know what happens next-- then how can I say it never changes? Never will?

We don't know what will happen to everything.

What do we know?

That it will all eventually turn to dust.

Might as well turn to dust bearing some hope. Trying what little we can, bringing change in the little corner of the world. Maybe, just maybe the world will learn.

Because if it all ends, then what's the harm in hoping?

There are two ways you can live your life-- as the ignorant one. Ignorance is, in itself, bliss. To never let yourself be aware of the wretchedness of it all.

And as the aware one. To be aware, to be conscious, to be critical and slowly feel yourself become jaded. It is the more painful way.

But if history stands as evidence, it is the critical one who challenged the status quo. The critique who dares to hope for better has always been the one bringing change.

"I look around and see the misery. I look around and can't help but be aware of the futility. But I still clutch kindness closely to my heart. I still hold on to humanity and its dynamic ability to change. I still hope.

Because to hope, is to live.

And to live without hope, is to live a miserable life."

Re: Hope might come naturally to me, but even if it did not, even if it stopped being the case- I will still choose it.


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4 years ago

I want to let go of a couple of things like of the idea of being anything of meeting the expectations I expect others to have Yet all I reached is the nothingness I called the vision of perfection and couldn't hold onto anyway  


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6 years ago
I See Myself From The Back. From Inside The Restaurant. I'm Alive And Happy. That Means I Took The Hard

I see myself from the back. From inside the restaurant. I'm alive and happy. That means I took the hard way in. Not the easy way out. For some time I wasn't sure. That time is now. Seeing a picture of myself in the near future, free and letting time be time, not allowing thoughts to interfere or take control, and giving my mind access to whatever words is worth writing, not by any assignment or deadline, and... There's really nothing else to say. I had a choice. The tempting easy way out; just caving in. Or the hard way in; a maze with almost impossible obstacles the way out. It's still ahead of me. But seeing myself from the back, tells me everything. No matter what I must do to be there. Again. Happy and free. Being me. Just me, only me. #mantelmomento #danielmantel #udenfilter #laurieandthestoryof (At least geographically...) #me #hardway #being #meandmystory #meandmymind #lisbon #wayin #portugal #home #aperiodintimewithsomeharddifficultiesofdifferentkindslowlyturningsotheeasywaybecomeslessattractiveandthewayinopensup (Usual one-off hashtag) (her: Lisbon, Portugal)


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6 years ago
I See Myself From The Back. From Inside The Restaurant. I'm Alive And Happy. That Means I Took The Hard

I see myself from the back. From inside the restaurant. I'm alive and happy. That means I took the hard way in. Not the easy way out. For some time I wasn't sure. That time is now. Seeing a picture of myself in the near future, free and letting time be time, not allowing thoughts to interfere or take control, and giving my mind access to whatever words is worth writing, not by any assignment or deadline, and... There's really nothing else to say. I had a choice. The tempting easy way out; just caving in. Or the hard way in; a maze with almost impossible obstacles the way out. It's still ahead of me. But seeing myself from the back, tells me everything. No matter what I must do to be there. Again. Happy and free. Being me. Just me, only me. #mantelmomento #danielmantel #udenfilter #laurieandthestoryof (At least geographically...) #me #hardway #being #meandmystory #meandmymind #lisbon #wayin #portugal #home #aperiodintimewithsomeharddifficultiesofdifferentkindslowlyturningsotheeasywaybecomeslessattractiveandthewayinopensup (Usual one-off hashtag) (her: Lisbon, Portugal)


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6 years ago
I See Myself From The Back. From Inside The Restaurant. I'm Alive And Happy. That Means I Took The Hard

I see myself from the back. From inside the restaurant. I'm alive and happy. That means I took the hard way in. Not the easy way out. For some time I wasn't sure. That time is now. Seeing a picture of myself in the near future, free and letting time be time, not allowing thoughts to interfere or take control, and giving my mind access to whatever words is worth writing, not by any assignment or deadline, and... There's really nothing else to say. I had a choice. The tempting easy way out; just caving in. Or the hard way in; a maze with almost impossible obstacles the way out. It's still ahead of me. But seeing myself from the back, tells me everything. No matter what I must do to be there. Again. Happy and free. Being me. Just me, only me. #mantelmomento #danielmantel #udenfilter #laurieandthestoryof (At least geographically...) #me #hardway #being #meandmystory #meandmymind #lisbon #wayin #portugal #home #aperiodintimewithsomeharddifficultiesofdifferentkindslowlyturningsotheeasywaybecomeslessattractiveandthewayinopensup (Usual one-off hashtag) (her: Lisbon, Portugal)


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6 years ago
I See Myself From The Back. From Inside The Restaurant. I'm Alive And Happy. That Means I Took The Hard

I see myself from the back. From inside the restaurant. I'm alive and happy. That means I took the hard way in. Not the easy way out. For some time I wasn't sure. That time is now. Seeing a picture of myself in the near future, free and letting time be time, not allowing thoughts to interfere or take control, and giving my mind access to whatever words is worth writing, not by any assignment or deadline, and... There's really nothing else to say. I had a choice. The tempting easy way out; just caving in. Or the hard way in; a maze with almost impossible obstacles the way out. It's still ahead of me. But seeing myself from the back, tells me everything. No matter what I must do to be there. Again. Happy and free. Being me. Just me, only me. #mantelmomento #danielmantel #udenfilter #laurieandthestoryof (At least geographically...) #me #hardway #being #meandmystory #meandmymind #lisbon #wayin #portugal #home #aperiodintimewithsomeharddifficultiesofdifferentkindslowlyturningsotheeasywaybecomeslessattractiveandthewayinopensup (Usual one-off hashtag) (her: Lisbon, Portugal)


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6 years ago
I See Myself From The Back. From Inside The Restaurant. I'm Alive And Happy. That Means I Took The Hard

I see myself from the back. From inside the restaurant. I'm alive and happy. That means I took the hard way in. Not the easy way out. For some time I wasn't sure. That time is now. Seeing a picture of myself in the near future, free and letting time be time, not allowing thoughts to interfere or take control, and giving my mind access to whatever words is worth writing, not by any assignment or deadline, and... There's really nothing else to say. I had a choice. The tempting easy way out; just caving in. Or the hard way in; a maze with almost impossible obstacles the way out. It's still ahead of me. But seeing myself from the back, tells me everything. No matter what I must do to be there. Again. Happy and free. Being me. Just me, only me. #mantelmomento #danielmantel #udenfilter #laurieandthestoryof (At least geographically...) #me #hardway #being #meandmystory #meandmymind #lisbon #wayin #portugal #home #aperiodintimewithsomeharddifficultiesofdifferentkindslowlyturningsotheeasywaybecomeslessattractiveandthewayinopensup (Usual one-off hashtag) (her: Lisbon, Portugal)


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7 years ago
Danish Prose At Https://mantelsroman.wordpress.com/2018/05/23/fejlspejl-spejlfejl/ English Summary: GO

Danish prose at https://mantelsroman.wordpress.com/2018/05/23/fejlspejl-spejlfejl/ English summary: GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT. Then you end up here. As expected. You can see the light at the end of the tunnel. You start to walk. As you're supposed to do. It takes a while before the lights gets brighter, before you can begin to see what it's made of. There's some movement, shifting shadows, and even a figure. Your movement towards the light is timeless, so you don't know when you realize. If it has been hours or days. Time doesn't matter. And in some peculiar way you don't react with fear or panic. When you see. It is nothing but a reflection. Of the light at the other end. The light is a mirror, where you can see yourself and the light so far away. At the other end. And you know that it is a mirror too. You wonder why it doesn't scare you. Maybe it's the lack of time. You turn and start walking. #mantelsroman.wordpress.com #mantelmomento #danielmantel #gotowardsthelight #mirrormirror #reflection #neardeathexperience #cheat #timeless #experienced #udenfilter #learningbydoing #whatmattersmost #eternity #betweenlifeanddeath #decisions #nothingreallymatters #being #aliveorjustbreathing #carefree #heavenorhell #andwhoreallycaresicertainlydontthisisjustthefirstofafewwaysoutfromfacebookandothertimerobberssowhattheandsoon... (Usual one-off hashtag) https://mantelsroman.wordpress.com/2018/05/23/fejlspejl-spejlfejl/ (her: Tunnel Of Light)


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7 years ago
Flawed Picturesque. Picturesque, But Partly. Or, Just A Thought, It Could Be 'still Life', 'stilleben',

Flawed picturesque. Picturesque, but partly. Or, just a thought, it could be 'still life', 'stilleben', out of order. Literally, not keeping still but moving. Not much, only causing some unwanted reflection. A tiny streak in a corner. If it wasn't too obvious, too easy, it would be a symbol. A picture of the never quite perfect life. But that is way too simple. We believe in picturesque moments. Life rolling over, playing dead. Holding its breath. Yes! That posture. Don't move! Don't blink! Don't twitch! Don't flinch! Look alive! Come on, make at least an effort… No! Catch that life before it moves. Kill if you have to. And get the picturesque before it goes into decay. Being rotten might be living. But the flaws could smell rather bad. In time, it'll all dissolve. Maybe picturesque? #mantelmomento #danielmantel #udenfilter #picturesque #flawed #tooeasy #playingdead #stilllife #symbolic #decaying #being #aliveorjustbreathing #circleoflife #thisisjuststupidnonsensecausedbylackofpropermobilecamandtheresultofthat (Usual one-off hashtag...) (her: Picturesque)


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8 years ago
This One Is Without The Little Usual More Or Less Stupid Small / Short Story. It Is Just Another Sunset

This one is without the little usual more or less stupid small / short story. It is just another sunset in Castelo de Vide. Words seems not necessary. (And be warned: next I'll post a short video with... Sheep!) #castelodevide #justanothersunset #sunrays #altoalentejo #life #beingalive #feelingalive #coreofliving #being #somewhereelse #laurieandthestoryof (Is somewhere in that sunset...) #living #grateful #andwhateverhashtagiuseitwillnotcoverthefeelingofbeingalivethatigetwheniexperiencesunsetslikethisdayafterdayandevenmorebeautifuldaysandnightsforwhichicantthankthistownanditspeopleenough (Usual one-off hashtag...) #udenfilter #mantelmomento #danielmantel #primeiroproximopasso (Even he is also present...) (her: Castelo de Vide)


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8 years ago
In The Evening, Huge Flocks Of Swallows Are On Hunt For Their Dinner... Any Photographer Knows How Difficult

In the evening, huge flocks of swallows are on hunt for their dinner... Any photographer knows how difficult it is to catch those very fast moving birds. So this is just a few of hundreds... Literally. Oh, and speaking of dinner... After a few Super Bock's (The name might not be... But it's very good, strong and, not at least, portuguese!), I myself will go finding a restaurant. Not that the good people of Café Central didn't offer me to join their own private dinner... Ofcourse! They are portuguese and they are friends... Amazing, compared to a certain other country where I reside when I can't avoid it, how easy you become friends here. Real friends. Ok, enough for now... WILL be continued! In proper writing. #castelodevide #cafecentral #finally #findingmyself #being #existing #ready #writingplace #startingtowrite #realthing #novel #laurieandthestoryof (Am getting closer, now present right here... Where else?!?!?) #udenfilter #mantelmomento #danielmantel (her: Café Central - Castelo De Vide)


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5 years ago
R U Capable Of Truely Being There For Someone Else?

r u capable of truely being there for someone else?


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