2.22 - Blog Posts

AYANAMI - 00 

Y'all it's officially 2/22 on our calendars.

IS THAT A MOTHERFLIIPIN' WILL WOOD 2ECOND 2IGHT 2EER REFERENCE?!?!?!

I'M JUST A PSYCHO BABE, COME AND GO OUT MY MIND, I DIDN'T LOSE IT BABE- THERE WASN'T:

MUCH

TO

FIND.

🎶

Im officially 22, i cant believe Iv made it this far, my best friend is coming back on a plane in a few hours and she’s gonna go out with me, we’re going clubbing, im so grateful to have such an amazing friend

𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐄 🧟‍♀️

hi everyone, another generic blog from a teenager with a good life trying to help you the best way I can. don't be cruel, I'm on my period😛

for now, you can call me 'saint' | she/her

Sou apenas mais uma herdeira chata da América Latina (🇧🇷),

sun ♍, rising ♈, moon ♏ (in case you find this shit relevant lmao)

my blog is currently only about loa and other things that I repost. but topics I'm interested in: series, movies, books, fashion, loa (obviously), gossip, personal care, and self-improvement.

ask: open! if you need advice, want to share experiences, need a reality check, or just want to talk about anything. 🩷

Sempre falo isso em quase todos os meus posts, não falo inglês fluentemente (ainda)!! então se há erros gramaticais nas minhas postagens é por causa disso.

It's another pretty angel number again!!! Thank you all so, so much for your relentless support and love. I love each and every single one of you all who helped me achieve another milestone today (totally didn't manifest this 😏). I notice each and every single one of you all who react with my posts, who dm me with such kind and inspiring words and many more!

P.S. Updates will be slower for the upcoming months as I'll be busy with school and other activities. Plus I'm doing a bunch of research for my upcoming series of posts so stay tuned! I love you all so much. Kisses 💗💗

- Aquamarine🐋🐚

thinking abt posting lyrics to mi blog ,,,

la lune est l'amour de ma vie <3

Hard drugs. Hard problems.

Functional + Generational Addiction are hard. Why me, God? Wasn't being gay in the South enough? I didn't fall into the stereotypes. I wasn't a drug addict cliché. No one ever said anything. Why didn't anyone ever say anything?

Kyle. I can see that you are a little fucked up. Or, you look like you had a long night. No one ever said a thing. It turns out because they didn't actually know. Not always. Not even the times I was so sure they did.

222

"a long and difficult cycle will soon be over". That was the tarot card I pulled. It had the moon sign of what the moon would be in on my birthday last year. I saw 222 constantly while I was getting sober.

Well, soberish. Sober-adjacent. Or just drug addict in denial.

But no offense, if you can't tell if I have used, it makes it less desirable to quit. I know the health problems. I know it makes me a bad person. But so did being gay. So why should I care who thinks I'm a bad person or not. I still do though. And it ate me alive for years.

The inner turmoil was the worst of it, come to find out.

Leaving every social interaction wondering if they could tell. If they knew. It started to overshadow everything. Every moment of my day. It was always in the back of my mind. That I had done meth. That I was technically on meth. We all know the stereotypes. But I went to work. I went to school. I paid my bills. I got good grades. I took showers, brushed my teeth. I went to dinners, events, funerals, birthday parties. No one ever said anything. No one ever asked.

But I would read their faces. Their expressions. Any sign or glimpse that they knew my dirty little secret. Any hunch that I was exposed, and that they knew. Oh how terrible it would feel. To be just a dirty drug addict. It truly was Hell. Even worse than being gay.

GOD