Oh My Gosh, When I Was In Treatment For An Eating Disorder I Was So Scared To Tell The People Around

it's so strange how you can detest olives when you're eight years old and suddenly like them at 26. how you can fall in love with someone only for them to turn around one day and reveal themselves as someone completely unrecognisable. how you can want something for so long and finally get it, only for it to not turn out how you thought it would. how you can come to find beauty in your hometown after years resenting it and trying to find yourself in a different city. how you can grow apart from people and find yourself among them again years down the line.

time will change you and how you fit into the world – what you want and how you define yourself, or not. it is so open-ended, always evolving, and I wish I could alleviate the pressure my younger self felt to find herself in this big world with so many possibilities for who she could become. sometimes things just need to take their course. sometimes you just need to take a deep breath and trust that what will happen will happen and there's time to figure things out, because it is not possible to completely control the direction of your life, and nothing – not your state of mind, nor your stage of life – is final.

sevikas haircut has me on my knees, SHES SO BEAUTIFUL !!! EVERY TIME SHE CAME ON THE SCREEN SO DID I !!

Let's make coffee and cook breakfast together while we sing to music

*in a rap battle* i wonder who your mother could have been if she never had you

u wanna be happy? u gotta let shit go & let shit be what it is

Colonizers write about flowers. I tell you about children throwing rocks at Israeli tanks seconds before becoming daisies. I want to be like those poets who care about the moon. Palestinians don’t see the moon from jail cells and prisons. It’s so beautiful, the moon. They’re so beautiful, the flowers.

— Noor Hindi, from “Fuck Your Lecture on Craft, My People Are Dying,” DEAR GOD. DEAR BONES. DEAR YELLOW.

⁺˚⋆｡ °✩₊ 31/01/24

i completely forgot to update yesterday,,

i had the worst period cramps ever they hurt so bad and i puked 5 times, truly awful

today just consisted of rest and relaxation but also healing, im aware im not making as much progress as i can be however i like these small steps and im really starting to feel at peace even if im not the happiest on most days

i finally get that healing isn't about keeping peace at all costs but instead going through emotions and processing them and turning back to peace, choosing love over fear always ♡♡

i finally got to play persona 5 royal today, i'd been putting it off cause of my mood but im so glad i did today it really turned my head back on what i usually enjoy,, i cant wait for friday cause thats when persona 3 reload comes out !! i've heard the ost leak for colour the night and i'm absolutely loving it !!

i'll prioritise good time and good friends cause im a good person too, i was speaking to a close friend of mine and he told me that i should only surround myself with people who make me soft and bring out the sweetness in me instead of bitter and cold and that genuinely resonated with me cause i always seem to be putting a mask on infront of people and even some of my friends cause i feel as if i shouldn't let my guard down.

ive been putting my mind onto the music i want to listen to more these days and my mind always goes back to jhene aiko and umi, i love them both and their music always gets me feeling soft and spiritual, i strive to be like that too.. but anyway i wont forget to update tommorow !!