Uh Oh

Why the fuck does writing a 2.5k word fanfic chapter take a couple hours at most when the assignment I've been working on for a week straight is also around 2.5k words 😭 I was supposed to hand it in almost a week ago now, and I'm maybe halfway done I'm going to fail again fr fr

(I mean at this point I'm going to send it whatever state it's in tomorrow hoping for like, whatever the lowest passing grade is)

Guys im so lucky i dont have a skeleton this is crazy

ok au where after becoming archivist jon starts getting into the habit of making vent tiktoks in his car after work because tim showed him how and at first he was like “this is stupid” but then it genuinely started helping him decompress so he just kept doing it in secret. and he eventually he gains a minor following who are becoming increasingly concerned because it goes from “the most INSUFFERABLE statement giver came in today” to “i got fucking KIDNAPPED AGAIN!!!”

Gertrude: Gerard, why does the Distortion call you babygirl

Gerry, lying in a hospital bed recovering from his successful brain surgery: do we have to do this right now

(inspired very much by this lovely post)

ok i'll bite. *just starts fucking biting you*

jonathan sims top character of all time. his best friend is his ex-girlfriend’s cat. he doesn’t drink coffee. he lies about his age but everyone believes him because he acts like a 60 year old man. the second he’s faced with death he asks his coworker if he’s a ghost. he later falls in love with that coworker. instead of having a beautiful narrative arc about the importance of friendship and surrounding yourself with anchors he had a meat freak rip out his rib. he’s canonically asexual.

please I need this as a crack fic so bad

TMA AU in which Jonathan Sims got himself a car after the promotion. He's not exactly a car person, but that's what people do, he's pretty sure of it. And he can do so much with that car. He can bitch about the parking in central London, he can use it to spy on his assistants, he can name the car, live in it for a while, have it stolen, have it confiscated, have it vandalized by every avatar in Britain. When Jon is on a run, he throws away his license plates and can't find them after his charges are cleared. He loses his driving license too, but that's alright, he can just consult with the Beholding to avoid police. At this point everyone tells Jon to leave the cursed pile of metal somewhere in the woods already, but he can't just abandon his beloved automobile! What do you think he named it? I think Barnabas. I also think the car became sentient and drove away after the apocalypse, as per the laws of the genre. Jon met Basira in one of the domains, asked if she's seen his car and got smacked immediately.

i still havent actually listened to TMA

This is the single most beautiful print I've ever bought and after two months I finally have a frame for it 💚💚💚

the antichrist to redditor pipeline