Time For More Hedgehog Facts! So The Post I Just Relogged Got Me Thinking. I Know There’s Always Discussions

THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND HAS DIED ONFUDSJSHSHSHSHSHSHSH THE WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE HAS ALREADY UPDATED OMG

Au where Dick puts a tracking chip in his brothers necks because he grew up with Batman and thinks it’s normal. His siblings, freaks just like him, are a little disturbed but mostly trying to hold back tears because omg he cares so much!!!!!

Thinking about an AU where Techno, Wilbur and Tommy are all the harbingers of the actual entire apocalypse and Phil (just some insane guy) decides that those are in fact his kids and starts gaslighting the absolute shit out of them about it.

Rambles under cut!

I wanna try something where they're just more insidious and passive killers than anything else, theyre mostly just biding their time and watching as wherever they're lingering around gets sicker and just starts withering away.

They're a slow moving threat that just can't be stopped and for some reason (because Kristin thinks its funny) Phil just isnt affected by them.

Phil: Oh Techno's always been like that ever since he was a baby Techno: I have literally never met you a day in my life Tommy: Idk man... you have always been like that Wilbur: Oh my death he's actually getting to us

Its a mix of that combined with that "how did he know I was a gemini" meme

Phil: Wil! I brought you some salmon, I know how much you love it! Wilbur: How the fuck did you know I like salmon Phil: I'm your dad silly, of course I'd know :-)

I just think itd be super fun since Phil in this au is literally just some insane dude. He literally lies about their entire childhood but does it so consistently and so realistically that it throws them off guard.

I also have a few ideas where they start referring to Phil as their dad in the beginning as a sarcastic / mocking thing but accidentally just getting themselves even more adopted as they do it.

Phil: Wilbur put on a coat Wilbur: I don't need one! Techno: Go on, Wil. Listen to dad Wilbur: Ugh fine. Only because dad wants it, though

Stranger: Whos this? Tommy: Oh thats our dad. He kinda just tags along Stranger: Aww thats so sweet! You got his nose and everything Tommy: I- wh- no he's not actually our da- Phil: I know he did! Isn't he the cutest, spitting image isnt he? Tommy: You're not my dad! Stranger: Oh someones embarrassed! Phil: Yeah he's going through a rebellious phase right now

Just a mixture of things like that where it starts as calling him it but then accidentally actually giving him parental authority along with that.

I also wanna explore how Kristin and Phils relationship would be like. Maybe her as death being very bemused by this silly human that just decided she was his wife one day.

She literally visits him in dreams and stuff and he just acts as if they're married and have been for years. He complains about their 'rambunctious kids' and how he has to threaten them with her so that they behave sometimes. She finds it so silly and just cant help but play pretend.

Kristin: Hello, human Phil: My love! Its been so long since I've seen you Kristin: We've never met Phil: Oh don't say that! It hasnt been that long. I've just been far too occupied with our boys to visit too much Kristin: Our boys? I made them Phil: And they came out beautiful! I'm so glad Wil and Tech got your eyes. I was hoping they would.

I think that'd be a core part of this AU as well. Everyone is playing pretend but then it just fuzzies and it all becomes real for them. At first its a joke that Phil is her husband and their father but then they get lost in the fantasy and fun of it all and actually accept him as such.

Phil has no ulterior motives either, he's literally just a strange insane man that heard stories about neotrio and started thinking they were his kids one day. He genuinely believes his delusion and they end up accidentally making it a reality.

He just makes lucky guesses and plausible lies often enough that he's still shiny and new, he's still fun to play with and thats what ends up 'tricking' them all.

it’s november 1st you know what that means

the misinterpretation of a lonely place of dying by later retellings drives me nuts because ‘tim finds out who batman is’ is nearly not as much of a big deal as ‘tim doesnt want to be robin’ in the actual origin and it pretty much sums up whats wrong with modern tim drake. ALPOD is a tragic story of a twelve year old boy who had everything and willingly gave it up for a greater good. he is not like dick and jason who became robin to escape tragedy nor bruce who had everything and then lost it. robin was nothing but a curse he accepted to bear and he did so because of his selflessness. that selflessness is his driving rod, his smarts and physical talent are only the tools he uses to achieve his goals. he is not ‘the smart one’, he is a sacrificial lamb for a cause he became an unwilling spectator of. a twelve year old boy thought ‘people need saving, its that simple’ and put on the clothes a dying kid not much older than him wore because of nothing more than his selflessness and everyone he loved paid the price for it. he paid an even greater price for it.

theres bikes around the city you can rent but you have to use an app that needs your drivers license. theres buses that drive right to your destination, but if you dont have change you need the app. you can wash your car here if you sign into the app. you can go to the bathroom here you just have to unlock it with the app that needs your location on. you can order at this restaurant if you scan the code and download the app. im losing my freaking mind

I find the whole topic of Dick’s emotional competence really fascinating because it’s clear that has an understanding of emotions in a way that Bruce has completely suppressed and cannot because he straight up doesn’t talk about emotions but while Dick recognises and understands it -

He never really uses it for ethical reasons ( exceptions like E.G having that call with Tim after he talked the jumper of the roof because if that was Bruce well .. I don’t think it would of helped much )

He mostly uses it for tactical reasons and manipulation.

And despite being able to use it on others and have emotional intelligence with them when it actually comes to him …. Well it goes less well because he holds himself up to this insane standard BECAUSE of Bruce .

Its especially interesting because Dick has wished before that unlike Bruce he could bottle up his emotions and shut it out .

Idk correct me if wrong but it’s nice food for thought!

dick grayson is sooooo normal i want to study his brain under a microscope. yeah id say that’s a pretty fair interpretation of his rich inner world — i do think that like bruce he tends to force himself through emotional trauma by brute force (we see this in the 96 run, for example) — but he’s also really cognisant of other people and specifically how he’s viewed by other people.

there’s this panel out of titans 99 where vic is like “i can’t believe dick lied to me!!” and the other characters say yeah. that’s normal for him. he’s a manipulative person when he wants people to do what he says, yknow? i mean i do think he does it for good a tonne, he just uses shortcuts to cut to where people are hurting. like….. he will explain to u ur emotional intricacies to get u to open up. he’s similar to bruce in the sense that they both care — possibly way too much — but while bruce struggles to express that dick is a lot more outwardly open, but also u never know how much of it is a facade.

it also makes it more impactful when he is profoundly known by others — specifically the fab5 and kory and babs and bruce. he has (imho) some degree of depersonalisation about his identity and his body and his autonomy, so people seeing through the performance and wanting to protect the core is truly. chefs kiss

it’s so interesting!! i cannot emphasise how much more of an interesting character he is when writers actually incorporate his intelligence into his stories. like people will follow him to ends of the earth because despite how bitchy he gets u know he’s going to do the right thing, even if dick himself doesn’t necessarily believe it

im literally rattling on the bars of my cage like

HI BABY HI YOU'RE HOME I'M HOME HI BABY HI ❤️💙❤️💙

close up!!

my sillies <3

I think we’re not fully utilising Dick’s potential for fuckery. This mean was raised in a circus. Surrounded by trapeze artists. And wild animals. What makes you think he has any regard for safety or self preservation?

So I like to think that sometimes, just sometimes there’s a switch that flips inside him and instead of being mature and practical about the system he lets his intrusive feral child win.

Two-face: Heads or tails little bird. Heads, I kill you. Tails, I surrender.

*flips coin*

Nightwing *throws his escrema stick and it hits the coin which lands in his palm*

Nightwing: Hey Harvey. If I flip it around in my hands I can change the outcome of this

Two-face: .. wait-

Nightwing *flipping his hand around with the coin inside* : Say why don’t we make it more interesting?

*takes out three more coins and puts them all in his palm before switching them around a bit*

Two-face: oh.. no..

*Red Hood and Red Robin watching in horror*

Red robin: .. should we.. should we stop him

Red hood *remembering when a villain knocked away Dick’s weapons and told him if he could draw blood without landing a hit on him he’d tell his army to stop and Dick didn’t wait a second before biting the fucker’s neck and taking a good chunk out of it*

Red hood: he’ll be fine.

dick grayson canonically works the weirdest fucking jobs.

he’s like a teenager who’s pretty desperate to start working and will take *anything* that’s available, just cus. except he’s 28 (?) and definitely doesn’t need to work

as robin he ran a SUMMER CAMP just cus it’s cute. dick just likes to get involved with random ass friend groups of coworkers. he’s like “i guess i’m gonna die someday, i guess i should just give it a shot!”

he’s a list of canonical, and headcannon jobs dick grayson has worked 🩵

Camp Instructer

vigilante (duh)

lifeguard

radio jocky

museum curator

travel guide

gymnastics instructor

gardener

mail man (but like… a hot one)

hair dresser

life coach

fitness instructor

professor

acrobat

managing an antique shop

painting miniature glass birds

working in a retirement home

cop

stripper cop

GLOBE OF DEATH rider (look it up)

retail

i headcannon that most of these jobs he didn’t even get HIRED he just showed up and started helping out and it just turned into a thing. like he just did a couple volunteer things at a local retirement home in blüdhaven, and people just assumed he worked there and gave him a schedule etc, and he just is happy to help.

or if he’s undercover for an extended period of time, and he just decides it would be cool and help his cover if he started doing ‘insert job’. and he just kept doing it past the missions requirements.

just cus he’s part of the team now! and he already told maggie he’d cover her shift at Dons Deli Emporium- even though they never officially hired him. 🤷