It’s November 1st You Know What That Means

this tweet is so accurate

"justice league doesn't know batman has kids" and by some freak incident, they end up meeting them all at once, after never having one single sneaking suspicion of batman being a family guy.

you've got every batkid + justice league member in the same room, and bruce tries for a total of 6 seconds to diffuse the situation before giving up.

there's bats left right and centre making completely false claims about how their family came to be, just to stir shit. also purposely trying to ruin batman's 'stoic and mean' reputation as best as they can.

jason and steph are telling everyone that they're all bio kids, and bruce does try and correct that one (some of those kids don't even belong to him in a non-bio way!!) but not before tim pipes up and goes 'well actually it depends what you count as biological, he grew me in a lab'.

dick's taking full advantage of the JL's perception of batman being oh so impressionable in the moment, and is telling stories of his childhood + batman raising his younger siblings, making him out to be the softest guy to ever exist (completely on purpose). cass is nodding along next to him, and making sure whenever she adds a comment that she uses the word 'dad' instead of batman just for the extra domestic flare.

babs and jason are explaining how they all consider themselves bats, in a way that would make anyone believe that they're in a cult. bruce is standing amidst it all, an immovable object, with dick's arm on his shoulder, and damian huddled into his side (ALL for dramatic flare. they need the JL to know that he's. just a guy with kids).

Dead Serious Prompt #1

By pure chance, Danny and Damian look almost identical. After some misunderstandings/attempted stabbing at first sight they become friends, and eventually start dating. They’ve only been official for a week when the Bats finally find out about Danny. 

How?

Timothy Drake-Wayne has seen some weird shit. Monsters, gods, and Dick’s dating history rarely make the top ten. The scene he sees now might warrant a whole new list.

Demon Brat is sitting on a bench in the park. What makes this ordinary scene baffling is the other boy, a boy who’s laying down with his head in Damian’s lap and not getting skewered for it. In fact, the brat looks…happy. Peaceful even. It’s kind of cute, actually.

Until the other boy turns his head to say something. Damian is giving the boy his full attention, and so is Tim because they have the same face. 

…

Oh no.

Tim races back to the manor, slamming the front door open in a ‘MOM HOLY FUCK’ fashion, and yells for a family meeting.

Fucking hell, of course Damian is so arrogant that he’d only date his own evil clone.

Heheh look at this art

Last minute operation

Angst infests my head more often than not and so does comfort

So, now, imagine Bruce who got whatever trigger (watching mamma mia, that song from toy story two, whatever involving family), and he just starts hunting down all his kids to give each of them a hug and say nothing else

And he doesn't have a patron (not one they can figure out for now at least), so he catches them of guard and by the time he's midlist they're worried af thinking he's dying or something

Now, he started by Tim, who was kind of not answering anyone's calls and was alone who knows where when suddenly his dad just appeared, gave him a hug, and went away again

He thought it was a hallucination until he came back to Gotham and turns out he did the exact same fucking thing to Steph (who was horrified) Cass, who wasn't even in the same continent and Duke who thought it was normal until he spoke to everyone else

By that point they started to panic, because Bruce wasn't even aknowledging the whole thing, (not to help, the kids didn't say it directly) and was he planning on faking his dead?

Or he had some incurable illness about to do it or-

Just what the fuck

Which was exactly Jason's reaction when his turn came after he went back to one of his safehouses and Bruce was just there. Waiting for him in the dark. And after almost giving his son a heart attack, he gave him a hug and left

And it was also Dick's reaction. Because it wasn't batman. Bruce Wayne went to his station to give officer Grayson a hug and a meal (from Alfred) and say nothing more

Damian was the last one, why? Because it was his fault, he was watching the movie with his father and gave him the idea to "Calm himself down by doing something" and to start it up with Drake, who surely needed it

The “It can’t be helped”, from the scum who can’t be helped.

why is this sooo goood

☮ Holmes ! Love your headcanons ^^

☮ - friendship headcanon

Holmes isn't exactly a social creature. That's what any respectable gentleman who knows him would say. No-one would blame them for coming to this conclusion: after all he always turns down wedding and dinner invitations by grateful clients, he's utterly uninterested in gossip unless there happens to be a murder involved, and avoids clubs like the plague.

All of this is perfectly correct: they simply missed the fact that he would much rather spend his time hanging out at a soup kitchen, discussing the different roots and shortcuts around the city with cabbies, and teaching the Irregulars how to win any game of écarté than be anywhere near rich people for a period of time longer than one hour.

"Put a symbol (or several) and a character/characters in my ask box, and I’ll give you a headcanon"

Instead of Billy being some mysterious being that no one knows is a child what if literally everyone in Fawcett knows.

like, Billy will go into an active terrorist attack and everyone will be like "Yeah okay, that's fine". he visits children's hospitals like he does as Captain Marvel but he turns back for the kids who are scared of his larger form.

When frustrated in a fight he'll throw a small fit at the villain and everyone won't call him immature or odd for it instead they go "Yeah, well he was a big meanie anyway!" and "I'd never wanna be that bully!".

After fights Billy will get taken out for milkshakes and such with the whole block drinking with him. he'll kick an officer in the knee and everyone will curse the officer out (using censored words of course, this is Fawcett, and they are with a child).

They find out he's homeless and suddenly a random black hair blue-eyed orphan kid owns the most expensive apartment in the city.

After Billy joins the league batman has a heart attack trying to figure out who he is with every member quietly doing the same.

For some reason, no one in Fawcett will tell them about his identity despite them clearly knowing it. it doesn't help that any information regarding it magically distorts after a couple of days ( Zatana had said it was a safety precaution for the Champions identity)

One day Billy invites them to Fawcett for his birthday party and theirs a giant crowd asking him to "go small" The league's confused because Captain Marvel doesn't "go small".

And then he goes small and everyone's treating the captain turning into a ten-year-old child as normal.

The league just stands there in shock as they realize that yes, Captain Marvel Is an orphan child and an entire city knew before they got any hint.

(batman cries himself to sleep that night)