Oxynotmoron - I’m New Here

Local bastard siblings dress up in their two stupid dads clothes. More at eleven.

I actually have a screenshot of me saying this. Planning to show it once the friend actually finishes it

My friend, watching Hannibal for the first time(on season 2): so does Hannibal just end on a cliffhanger?

Me: …you could say that

Feathered Inconvenience (a tumblr x twitter fanfic)

i lost a bet, have at it kiddos!! posting chapter 2 when this hits 5K :]

~ chapter 1

Escaping to a forest after a midlife crisis wasn’t what Tumblr had on his to-do list, especially not after flunking his presentation. It’s not like his presentations were bad, they were excellent, he detailed what his company asked for and brought in ideas that filled their blanks. Another note, having his rival, Twitter, taking a trip away from the office made it easy for him to excel and succeed, it was all going perfectly. So, what was the issue?

Simple, he was bored, and it felt like shit. He loved his job, but it was getting boring, with the same circulation of events but in different fonts and colors. He needed inspiration, something that would bring fascination back into his vision. Tumblr’s back slid against a huge tree, speckles of light shining through the leaves and branches. He closed his eyes and begged his mind to be quiet.

“Maybe I just need to change the office theme again.” Tumblr told himself, crossing his arms while deep in thought.

The suited gent shook his head, rejecting his own idea and kept thinking. He always knew what to do, what to make out of an issue. He was great, that’s why some higher ups favored him. It was also the reason he stuck around for such a long time too. Tumblr loved his job, but this, being stuck due to the lack of anyone qualified to be in his place, is slowly crushing him.

Tumblr’s chest rose as he took a deep breath in. He needed an escape. No, he needed to stay. No, he needed…

What did he need?

Tumblr, with his head hanging in defeat, pushed himself off of the tree, squinting his eyes as he stepped away from the shade. He’s just going to go back to his apartment, and take a day off to really get himself far away from this rut. But a small noise stopped him in his tracks.

A bird chirped to itself on the ground, one of its wings appearing to be hurt. Tumblr simply tilted his head and walked to the feathered guy. He was a tall shadow to the bird, so it was normal of the bird to try and scramble away. Tumblr crouched down, and lent his arm out with his hand open, inviting the bird to just hop on.

“Not gonna hurt you, I promise.” Tumblr said calmly, a tinge of a tired smile appears. The man must’ve been really weary, because the bird really seemed to be considering his help.

After careful consideration, the bird hopped onto the palm of Tumblr’s hand, and flattened in a relaxed way. Tumblr hummed and stood back up, a hand hovering over the bird in case the sun was too bright for it.

“What’s wrong with your wings, lil guy?” Tumblr asked while slowly inspecting. He didn’t really expect a bird to understand or reply but it did; the bird’s beak pointed at its wing, crooked, ouch. While checking for any more injuries, Tumblr noticed the mud and leaves covering the bird’s exquisite light blue feathers. He admired it and smiled to himself. Blue was his favorite color, unironically.

“Good thing I caught you before any firefoxes did, huh?” Tumblr chuckled, as the bird shivered at the fact it could have already been eaten up.

Without any introductions or directions, Tumblr walked out of the forest, not only with a temporary distraction, but also a feathery friend. Yes, it wasn't the best answer to his crisis, but it was something to get his mind off of it. Maybe after helping this bird, his mind would clear up.

Unbeknownst to him, there was a group of people looking for the very thing he was determined to take care of.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Tumblr dug around his pockets to look for keys to his apartment, all while still cupping the blue puff of feathers on his other hand. If anyone walked by him, they’d shoot a confused look. It’s not like this was the first time Tumblr brought home an animal, he almost brought a horse up once because it looked goofy.

The jingles of his keys echoed through the hall, Tumblr paid no mind, but the bird was shifting and peeking around at the tiniest of noises. “Chill, it’s just my keys.” Tumblr replied to his jittery feathered friend.

Entering the apartment, Tumblr flickered a lamp that was by the door, the once dark room was painted with a warm orange hue. His place was nice, packed with folders and papers, and a weirdly large amount of red yarn. Tumblr’s humble abode is catastrophically homey.

Tumblr threw his keys on the cluttered coffee table and flopped on the couch, and placed the small bird on his chest. He sighed and threw his head back, exhausted. This day was tiring, but he had a friend with him.

He could barely take care of himself, but he really was looking forward to nursing his new friend back to health. As he yawned, Tumblr grabbed a pillow and scooped the bird off of him and on the pillow. He patted his feathered friend on the head with his finger and stood up.

“I’m taking a nap, little guy, you better rest up too.” Tumblr’s voice faintly heard as he walked to his bedroom. Within minutes, Tumblr’s snores comically seeped out of the slight agar door of his room.

Tumblr was having a good nap, even in his work shirt and pants on, maybe this was what he needed, a nap, that was until he got woken up by the sound of folders falling. He sat up aggressively, fumbled around to get his trusty baseball bat on the floor. Tumblr’s mind was too tired to think of something intimidating to yell out to whoever was making the noise.

As he creeped to the door of his bedroom with the bat, Tumblr took a shaky breath in and peeked out. He swung the door open and raised his bat to aim, but froze in his place. He didn't expect much, maybe an intruder who wanted to steal his magic wand set or his valuable shoe laces.

What Tumblr saw before his eyes was the very reason he was doing great at work, the reason other people in his office were doing good; he saw Twitter in the middle of his clutter, looking as shocked as Tumblr was.

“What the absolute fuck…” Tumblr pointed the tip of the bat at Twitter, “...Is going on?”

Therapist: Let’s focus on the positive. What are your most useful talents?

Grover: I can screech super loud

Nico: I can command a bunch of skeletons follow me around, and they are great company

Percy: I can get fish to let me gossip about people I don’t like

Frank: I can turn INTO those fish that listen to Percy gossip

Hazel: I can move mountains - literally

Piper: I can convince billionaires to give me all of their money in less than twelve seconds

Jason: I can speak to wolves - which is great and all, until they say things you REALLY don’t want to hear

Reyna: I can kill someone just by looking at them

Thalia: So can I

Annabeth: Same here

Leo: I can probably walk on the sun

Will: I practically AM the sun

Therapist:

Therapist: I’m beginning to understand why all of you are here-

will never not be thinking about the time a literal cat, like in english, called castiel angel of thee lord a dumbass

I do not know who painted this quote from Good Omens Season 1 on the studio exit door. I do not want to know. I just love that as I left today after our first day of shooting this was waiting, to welcome us back to the outside world.

in the good omens show, im 95% certain that god had no plan, so she just chose a random prophecy book (agnes nutter's) and based the ineffable plan off of that

crowley didn't know how they ended up there, but the only thing that mattered right then, was that he was with Aziraphale

I DID A SILLY THING

Anyways here's a nearly 3k long mini essay on why Fyodor is alive

Google Docs

My theory on why Fyodor isn’t dead (and how he managed to stay alive)

My theory on why Fyodor isn’t dead (and how he managed to stay alive) Alright so this is 100% a thought dump but let’s see how it goes. So

So I searched up some relaxing music

And then I found a supermix on youtube music and looked at what was in it. AND THERE WAS THE INSTRUMENTAL OF ‘IT’S QUIET UPTOWN’ MY MAN THAT IS NOT RELAXING THAT MAKES ME WANT TO SING ALONG AND CRY AND I HAVE TO DO MY HOMEWORK TOO