Ok So There’s A Game Me And My Friends Play Called “don’t Get Me Started” And Basically Someone

writing tip: don’t tell us your character’s backstory. don’t tell us what your character is thinking. don’t tell us what your character is doing. don’t tell us anything. the reader should simply look at a blank page and be suddenly overcome with emotion.

i dont really… WANT… to leave tumblr. ive been here since 2011

My dad loves minecraft and is currently building, legit, the entire city of Philadelphia just because. Today he sent me his save and while the whole thing would take days to explore (and it’s not even remotely close to be finished), I’ve taken some screenshots of my favorite stuff:

fully-furnished apartment complex I could never afford

Construction

Historical buildings (?) With blocky american flag

Aerial shot of just SOME of the city he built ALONE (obviously with minimal cloning bc like… all the buildings are different)

And my favorite…

THIS is a news channel… he made it NOT by making a custom texture pack, but by creating freehand pixel art on a massive scale at the precise size of a minecraft map, then mapping it, then putting it in an item frame. He told me he’s done stop signs and some street signs using the same method, but I legit couldn’t find them because the city is that massive 

Please note the crawl…. for those who can’t make it out, it reads “Trump convicted of tax fraud… world ok now…”

Bonus street layout for parts he hasn’t done yet (this goes on for chunks):

Daaaaaamnnn life, back at it again with the bullshit.

Area 51 raid

the real lie about who gives kids presents at christmas isn’t that they’re from santa (bc everyone over the age of 10 knows that), it’s that they’re from mum ‘and dad’ because 90% of fathers see taking an interest in their kids’ likes and hobbies, let alone actually planning and shopping for things that are ‘from’ them, as something they can opt out of (and nobody talks about it!!!!!!!)

What’s better than this?! The Wonder Woman theme was performed on an electric cello?!!

Ok so.

We've had a chronic package thief in our building recently. Usually its a very safe building so this is unusual behavior. They had the misfortune of taking one of my pet food orders (75lbs of mouse food) and apartment management was useless so I took it into my own hands.

See, I have a lot of snakes. So I happen to have things like dead rats just lying around. So I took a little box, decorated with some nice washi tape that made it look like it contained jewelry (crystal motif) and addressed it to a nonexistent unit underneath the name "Bill Zibub" and left it in the lobby. It disappears, as expected.

A few days pass and I smell something bad in the hall.

I go to the lobby and I find my dead rat package, very clearly torn open and hastily wrapped back up, with the rat back in it. But what's better is, it got returned with a BUNCH of other mail. They stole a bunch of shit, opened the rat, decided they had enough and brought all that shit BACK.

I know for a fact that the thief brought them back because they appeared in the lobby late at night way past package delivery time (and if the activity I heard was any indicator, the thief lives on floor 2)

I was thinking the thief might return the rat pack in disgust but I am tickled PINK they brought back other stuff.

This is the best prank I've ever played. It sounds so fake. It feels so scripted. I never in a million years thought they'd actually be inspired to return mail over it. This is gonna be my "then everyone clapped" story for the rest of my life.

Fuck around and find out.

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