Ok So.

Ok so.

We've had a chronic package thief in our building recently. Usually its a very safe building so this is unusual behavior. They had the misfortune of taking one of my pet food orders (75lbs of mouse food) and apartment management was useless so I took it into my own hands.

See, I have a lot of snakes. So I happen to have things like dead rats just lying around. So I took a little box, decorated with some nice washi tape that made it look like it contained jewelry (crystal motif) and addressed it to a nonexistent unit underneath the name "Bill Zibub" and left it in the lobby. It disappears, as expected.

A few days pass and I smell something bad in the hall.

I go to the lobby and I find my dead rat package, very clearly torn open and hastily wrapped back up, with the rat back in it. But what's better is, it got returned with a BUNCH of other mail. They stole a bunch of shit, opened the rat, decided they had enough and brought all that shit BACK.

I know for a fact that the thief brought them back because they appeared in the lobby late at night way past package delivery time (and if the activity I heard was any indicator, the thief lives on floor 2)

I was thinking the thief might return the rat pack in disgust but I am tickled PINK they brought back other stuff.

This is the best prank I've ever played. It sounds so fake. It feels so scripted. I never in a million years thought they'd actually be inspired to return mail over it. This is gonna be my "then everyone clapped" story for the rest of my life.

Fuck around and find out.

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