Ferroxfluidgargoyle

Oh let’s break (down)

Hey

I spent so much of my life romanticizing the Great and Powerful Enormity of the Sea, reading about the salt and the sweat of the sailors straining to haul the sails or anchor while dreading the monsters in the cold, icy deep fathoms below…and now you tell me that a fathom is only 6 feet deep -

I think friends should still be able to homoerotically sword fight each other in a 'i want to kill you but not really but also being very gay about it' kind of way

Y'all talk a big talk on Tumblr about how you want to date fat girls, but in reality, you just want girls with big tits and asses, flat tummy. If you want real fat, you gotta accept big tummies, upper arm fat, thick thighs. Put up or shut up.

You’re in her dms, she’s rubbing her head on my bulge and humping my leg for attention.

God, Tolkien naming his book “The Hobbit” was such a big dick move. Like, back then people didn’t know what a hobbit was. It’d be like if I released a book called “The Smarple” and 50 years later everyone just knew what a smarple was.

Adult Swim making an unholy amount of sense.

do you guys think jesus was hung