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Compersion is the feeling of joy and satisfaction experienced when witnessing another person's happiness, particularly in the context of a relationship, especially in non-monogamous relationships. It's often described as the opposite of jealousy or possessiveness.

Here's a more detailed look:

Key Aspects of Compersion:

Positive Emotion:

Compersion is a positive feeling, not a negative one like jealousy or envy.

Relational Context:

It's often discussed in the context of relationships, particularly in polyamorous or non-monogamous relationships, but it can also be experienced in other relational settings.

Sharing Joy:

Compersion involves experiencing joy not just for yourself, but also for another person's happiness, even if that happiness involves someone else.

Beyond Sexual:

While often associated with a partner's romantic or sexual relationships, compersion can also extend to other areas of a person's life.

Not Just for Polyamory:

While the term is often associated with polyamory, compersion can be cultivated in any type of relationship and is considered a valuable skill for building strong and healthy relationships.

Opposite of Jealousy:

Compersion is often contrasted with jealousy, where one feels possessive or resentful of another's happiness.

Examples of Compersion:

A polyamorous person feeling happy for their partner when they are connecting with another partner romantically or sexually.

A person feeling joyful when a friend receives a promotion or achieves a personal goal.

A parent feeling happy to see their child enjoying a game with a playmate.

Origins and Usage:

The term "compersion" was coined in the early 1990s by the Kerista community, a San Francisco-based polyamorous group.

Dr. Marie Thouin has written extensively on compersion and its role in ethical non-monogamous relationships, and her book What Is Compersion? explores the concept in depth.

Compersion can be a tool for strengthening relationships, both within and outside of non-monogamous contexts.

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Kat Dennings

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