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Compersion is the feeling of joy and satisfaction experienced when witnessing another person's happiness, particularly in the context of a relationship, especially in non-monogamous relationships. It's often described as the opposite of jealousy or possessiveness.

Here's a more detailed look:

Key Aspects of Compersion:

Positive Emotion:

Compersion is a positive feeling, not a negative one like jealousy or envy.

Relational Context:

It's often discussed in the context of relationships, particularly in polyamorous or non-monogamous relationships, but it can also be experienced in other relational settings.

Sharing Joy:

Compersion involves experiencing joy not just for yourself, but also for another person's happiness, even if that happiness involves someone else.

Beyond Sexual:

While often associated with a partner's romantic or sexual relationships, compersion can also extend to other areas of a person's life.

Not Just for Polyamory:

While the term is often associated with polyamory, compersion can be cultivated in any type of relationship and is considered a valuable skill for building strong and healthy relationships.

Opposite of Jealousy:

Compersion is often contrasted with jealousy, where one feels possessive or resentful of another's happiness.

Examples of Compersion:

A polyamorous person feeling happy for their partner when they are connecting with another partner romantically or sexually.

A person feeling joyful when a friend receives a promotion or achieves a personal goal.

A parent feeling happy to see their child enjoying a game with a playmate.

Origins and Usage:

The term "compersion" was coined in the early 1990s by the Kerista community, a San Francisco-based polyamorous group.

Dr. Marie Thouin has written extensively on compersion and its role in ethical non-monogamous relationships, and her book What Is Compersion? explores the concept in depth.

Compersion can be a tool for strengthening relationships, both within and outside of non-monogamous contexts.

So remember, just because you think you are getting off at your wifes pleasure, when she sees how much you like it, she will want to keep doing it for you as well.