Every Year Since 2011 I've Had A Yearly Watch Of Marble Hornets And EverymanHybrid. So To Celebrate Yet

how do i meet the strangest men (they always seem to find me)

Summary: The bizarre armageddon, (Weirdmaggedon, you once overheard Ford call it) is upon you and the town of Gravity Falls. Spared from the human throne, the mastermind behind all this wants to share you with him and the man you once called a friend.

Warnings: Yandere content, not beta read we die like Eycludia, swearing, gore, Inspired by suggestive material but not NSFW

Notes: Based on @/yandere--stuck's drabbles and posts!! Title is from Possibly in Michigan, Ford is feral in a cute way and a dog, Bill uses all pronouns and she is transfemme thank you very much,,,,

Gravity Falls was a weird place.

It wasn't a ghost town- everyone here was a lively character, from Manly Dan to Old Man McGucket to Tyler Cutebiker’s horrifying puma-panther shirt abomination to the mailman who wouldn't shut the fuck up about her divorce from two years ago. It's chaos was almost relaxing, and at some point, the gnomes and manotaurs became a breather compared to panicking over last minute Summerween decorations and Northwest’s limo causing seventeen traffic jams in the span of two minutes.

This? This was not fucking relaxing. And it wasn't because of the gaping open wound over your heart, thank you very much.

Even above the chaos, you still felt yourself stressed by the very thought of the town’s circumstances. Bears doing choir and coffee turning to decaf? Sure, why not. A reverse waterfall of what you're pretty sure is blood and the water tower becoming a cannibal? That wasn’t ‘normal’. Those should've been Hades most horrific punishments, Sisyphus and Tantalus style, but no. It was real. And all of it was caused by the fucker in the corner.

Said fucker was currently playing fetch in the floating pyramids ‘penthouse suite’, using your bloody heart as a ball and throwing it to the other side, clapping when Dr. Stanford Filbrick Pines sprinted on all fours towards your still pumping organ. As he held it in his mouth, you felt a pain surge through your chest as his teeth dug through the layers, instinctively curling in on yourself.

“Good boy, Sixer! We’re making new records!” Bill patted Ford's head. Instead of fighting back, as he promised you and his family, Ford melted into the touch, gleeful smile on his face. Was Bud Gleeful dead? God, you hoped so. His shitty cars had no space in the apocalypse. A noise akin to purring was coming through Ford's vocal cords, and you knew that if Bill snapped his fingers and gave him a tail, it would be wagging so hard you'd get dizzy just from looking at it.

“Hey, sweetcheeks! Wanna give it a go?” Bill appeared in front of you, taking your hand off the human skin couch and placing your heart in it like mashed potatoes on a plate. The feeling of it felt gross, slimey in all the wrong ways. Bill intently waited, and you knew that despite his phrasing, it wasn't a question.

You still tried to postpone it, though. “Why not…..yours, this time?” You pointed towards the heart in your hands for clarification.

Bill laughed, hands reaching to where you assumed her stomach was as she chortled. “One day, honeypie! When your eyes won't explode and get in my eye. I like your gusto, though! I knew choosing you wasn't a mistake.”

You looked over to Ford, who was staring at you with lovestruck eyes, waiting for you to make the throw. God, that look was gonna fuck you up. With a sigh, you aimed back, elbow hitting the couch before you released and threw overhead.

You let out a pained whimper as you felt the agony of your heart hitting the roof with a strong thud. The moment it hit the ground, a few feet away from you, Ford scrambled to your heart, tripping on nothing as he ran towards you. With you on the couch and the scientist on his arms and knees, another surge went through your body as you realized how the scene would look from an outsider's point of view.

Bill gave a quick clap. “Impressive throw, snookums! We should go javelin throwing someday, just the two of us.”

You weren't focusing on him, though. All your attention was on Ford, and it felt like neither of you moved. You kept looking in his eyes despite trying to glance at anything else and god, there was a lot in this situation to get desolate or angry about, but damnit you couldn't be mad at Ford, you just couldn't.

For over thirty years, Ford's life revolved around Bill, whether she was Ford’s muse or mortal enemy. And being in a portal for thirty years? Of course Ford had some screws loose, twelve PHDs couldn't protect you from the natural mental decay that'd cause. To come back here, to think you're safe only for Bill to show her face and start the armageddon of shitposting? It wasn't surprising that Ford just……gave up.

Did he, though? Was Ford being mind controlled into this? Was he living in a reality where he wasn't on all fours with an ornate red collar choking him that had ‘good human’ written on the back? Was this the result of being human, of the brain being weird, like some sorta Russian Sleep Experiment or Yellow Wallpaper shenanigans? You didn't know, not really.

But you did know that you loved Ford, or at least cared for him enough to not put the blame on him. Both you and Bill know how he loved putting the pressure on all of his shoulders.

You gingerly placed your heart to the side, and cupped Ford's cheeks with your hands. Only then did you notice they were bloody, and you realized that there was gore nesting deep inside your fingernails with a mental sigh. Ford sunk into your touch, smiling such a happy smile and fuck you think your heart twitched.

“.....Good boy, Fordsy.” You settled on. “You're a good boy.”

You didn't know if it was Ford's tears of happiness or viscera from who knows where falling down your hands and dripping on your legs, but while yes, the sensation absolutely grossed you out, you didn't let go. Seeing Ford in this state was for a lack of better words, magnetic. It felt like a drug, an addiction you don't think your circumstances or Bill would allow you to be rid of.

But was that such a bad thing? Not when it was Stanford Pines who was giving you this exquisite rush?

“Hit the nail right on the head, babe!” Bill interjected, and with a quick snap of their fingers, they were now sitting in your lap. Your hands were taken off of Ford's face and wrapped around the triangle in some sort of hesitant hug. “He is a good boy, isn't he? And you are, too!”

With a gush of wind and a yelp from you, your heart was dragged back into your body, the hole in your body closing. You clutched your sides suddenly, insides now fucking freezing. This wasn't your organ, anymore, not really, it felt like an intruder in your meatsuit, the same way worms made nests in apples and that one unlucky time a fly flew into your ear during a picnic with you, Mabel and Dipper and the ensuing panic that came.

Dipper and Mabel, your stomach lurched with a freezing shiver. 'Let them and Stan be alright,' you prayed. A glimpse from the corner of your eyes caught a dash of pink from the bubble outside, and you felt goosebumps crawl up all your limbs like centipedes with human feet. 'Let them and Stan be alright.' you repeated with a plead.

“Gonna be honest, doll-eyes, I didn't get what Ford saw that was so special about you,” Bill mentioned with a flippant hand gesture, and though you knew you shouldn't give ten shits about what she thought about you, you still felt like shit regardless, like you were in the wrong. Did Ford feel like this too?

“But then I saw you in action, and boy oh boy, I almost turned pink by the sight of it!” Bill's arms were outstretched in a V shape, getting off your flap and floating up to your head. “And then it hit me.” They slapped themselves, and the sight of their pupil going in circles like they were dizzy was honestly sort of humorous, in a really fucked up way.

“You're the perfect middle line between me and Sixer!” She explained, stretching a limb to run it through Ford's hair, who snuggled your leg deeper in response. When did that happen? “And with us by your side, you could be a whole new extreme! Everyone likes a Mystery Trio, and we’ll be the best one this dimension could ever know! Ed, Edd and Eddy will eat their hearts upon seeing us!”

He cupped your face, just like you did with Ford. “You got potential, and me and this cute puppy here got the key, I just know it!” Their eye became a mouth, and as Bill interlocked his hands together, they placed a chaste kiss to your cheek and a more passionate on your lips and god fucking dammit, you hated the way your face flushed and how you felt Ford nuzzle your knee.

Your body only responded by scratching Ford's chin, and he responded with a squeal you could've never imagined him make until now. “Is…..is he gonna be like this, forever?”

Bill spined, an exaggerated way of shaking the head she doesn't have. “Sixer’s just as fun when he's a puppy just as when he's playing interdimensional chess with me! Which reminds me, we gotta introduce you to it sometime, we’d have a blast.” A snap of her fingers caused Ford to fall to the ground more than he already was, and you quickly heard content snores coming from him.

“It's a blessing as much as it is a burden for him. Every good pet human needs a break sometimes, and the best way to do that is to make the 'pet' part of our deal even more literal! No equations or worries in his pretty brain, all he needs to care about is pleasing the both of us!” Bill explained, summoning a cane and pointing to nothing like they were a teacher with a nonexistent blackboard.

“Both of us?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Pet human’s a good look for you, sweetheart! Pretty puppy? Not so much. Besides, I know how excited you got knowing what he'd do for you!”

“I think you're purposefully misinterpreting the context.” Trying to defend yourself, your outstretched arms hit a hard part of the human couch, and you instinctively clutched your hand in pain.

“I'm rarely wrong, honey! But being wrong to you? I could get behind that!” Bill adjusted his tie before giving you a quick forehead kiss. “When we get the kids and Oyster too, we can all be a big happy family! Like I've always wanted!”

‘Please let them be alright,’ you prayed for a final time, focusing on that instead of worrying about the unsettling look in Bill’s eye. Running your hands through Ford's hair, your heart sunk once more upon knowing how wrong this would look from an outside perspective.

You were worried that after a while, it would feel right.

⊙

The Guardian.

Born to yap, forced to actually shut the fuck up slayyy🤪

Okay, now. Jokes aside. Yes, this is vent art. But I am okay guys, don't worry about me.

Another very important thing I want to say.

Jokes aside, I never talked about the importance of Room, the guy behind me, as a character to me. I never brought him up, because of the type of lore and symbolism behind the character. Yes, sure, its analogue horror, it has uncanny vibes, its scary. But theres a much deeper thing hiding behind Boisverts videos, that has hit so oddly comforting to me.

I was afraid people would just think I like Room bc im a monsterlover. Its usually like that, I actuall saw some people saying 'smash', which makes me kinda sad, because I feel like at some point they're... Disrespecting him?

Room is a very important comfort character to me, and I wont say the specific reason as to why, but you can search it up, if the curiosity is killing you. But he is definitely one of most important ones ever. In general, Boisverts videos have always felt close as home to me, hitting just right in the center, explaining and depicting hidden meanings in those creepy, yet beautiful, artistic videos.

From the moment I met Ouriel, then Room, and the other characters as well, and as deeper the lore went, I felt more and more connected to him, in a way I cannot explain. I just knew, right in that moment, I will never forget that triangular headed masked man. That I will forever hold him dear in my heart. Yes, he has been hiding for a good long while in the shadows, but here he is. I've finally opened up to introduce him.

Taglist (message me if you want to be added, removed!) :

@rabbitcyclops @espresso-ships @one-winged-dreams @radaverse @frozenhi-chews

The Observer is having fun with Evan. Watch without sms and registration.

Hey guys— [loud clattering]— oh my god I’m so sorry hold on [crash] guys give me a moment wa— [cat yowling] god this is embarrassing look away [sirens wailing]

[tldr. I’m working on Jon centric animatic so have tribe twelve and old drawings for now]

[hey dol what abt the Leith Ross ani- SHH]

[also Firebrand and Observer are Beholding aligned. I think. HABIT emH is Slaughter aligned]

feeling targeted.

Habit bites you say? 👀👀

Could I get

some headcanons going more into detail about that?

I don’t think it’s any hot tea to say that the community thinks Habit would be big into biting, leaving scratches, knifeplay, etc he be that kinda demon <3 and the kinda sub masochist that might be down to try that? I be that kinda person

Also you’re a really good writer! c:

Yes, yes you can :} (also thank u!!! got me kickin my feet in the air n shit heehee)

Suggestive / nsfw under the cut! Minors dni

HABIT biting / knifeplay headcanons (tw for mentions of slight gore)

He'll bite you for a whole slew of reasons, not just horny shit. Piss him off and he's getting in your face? Gnashing teeth. He wants to piss *you* off? Biting you while you're in the middle of something. Just minding your own damn business? You're never safe bitch.

It only gets worse if he's turned on tbh, but I DO have a bit of a hot take. Of course he loves digging his teeth in, leaving frighteningly severe marks all over you, and the rush he gets in licking up the pooling blood- But its not a one way street.

I think, under the (rather unlikely) circumstances that he's genuinely into you? He'd want you to reciprocate in the whole "literally ripping each other apart in every way imaginable" thing.

You're clearly weaker than him, and couldn't make a dent in him if you tried? He'd get off on just watching you try. Its cute, to him. Bonus points if you REALLY get into it. He appreciates the effort and gusto.

You actually stand a chance in getting him to hurt? Go fucking nuts, he'll let you. Yank his hair, step on his throat, choke him out, rip chunks out of him with your teeth, its all on the table. Being practically invincible, and having everyone else cower in fear around you gets really boring when you've lived that way for your entire existence. If you can physically manage to overpower him? He'll let you. (good fucking luck though asdfhksdfg)

On the same note, knives. Hoo boy.

I don't think he'd have the patience to like, trace up your body with the tip of his knife, or carve words into your skin or anything, but he would definitely get creative with it nontheless. Y'know how some people will do the whole "count while I spank you" thing? That, but with knife wounds. Sitting on his lap and everything.

And of course, he'd love holding that shit up to your neck as he pounds into you- genuinely coming close to cutting into the skin, pressing dangerously harder with every breath you take in. Who needs choking when he can have you desperately holding your breath all on your own?

On the flip side, he would definitely be into you teasing him with one of his own knives. Run it feather light up his abdomen, his chest, up to his throat, all he wants is for you to drive it down into him, and give him that weirdly euphoric release of agony. The anticipation is nice, but he'll never admit that out loud.

He wants that shit to hurt- like blinding pain. It sort of registers in his head like an orgasm would, since he doesn't exactly experience that level of pain very often.

HUGE bonus points if you actually have him vulnerable during it. (tied up, overpowered, ect.)

Tldr: this man is obsessed with pain. In any way, any method, any form, all of it. Doesn't even matter who's on what end.

Doctor Harley Sawyer?

I fear poppy playtime will never reach chapter 3 levels of hype ever again

THIS FANART TOOK ME HOURS anyway i love them

If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.