OHHHH MY GODS

and touch tips aswell

“Alright. I’ve got an idea. Alright Turpin, do the th— do the thing. Come on old boy.”

is this him admitting he's into edging

“Soft, mellow… sensual. I like a sexual edge”

Feels Like Gold

Jake Kiszka x AFAB/GN reader

18+

Warnings: graphic sexual content, oral sex (both rec), penatrative sex, swearing, alcohol use, chris appearance (he needs his own warning), etc.

Word count: 1.9k

Ok so I've never written fanfiction BUT I really wanted some pirate jakey, so little summary is you've been 'disguised' as a man on his ship for a year and your captain is drunk, horny, and desperate ermmm yeah yay!

~

The year is 1689, you are disguised as a man, working as a deckhand on 'The Golden Fleet'.

The captain, Jacob Thomas, as any captain is, or at least should be, was ruthless. At the time, he is one of the most feared pirates of the seven seas. You have watched this man battle the greatest, he pulled a sword on fucking Blackbeard, the man beat guns with a fucking sword!

For the most part, the crew was scared of him, and reasonably so. No one dare disobey his orders or commands, no matter how insane, lest they want their head chopped off.

Despite all of this, you had taken a strange interest in him. Maybe even a liking. For a filthy, drunken pirate, he was surprisingly gorgeous. His eyes were entrancing, dark and deep, holding grotesque secrets of the sea. His skin was rough and tan from days in the sun on the water, working and commanding. His clothes were dark, worn down. Occasionally, he would steal new things when the ship stopped at ports. Silken shirts and nice leathers, but he usually just wore the same things till they fell apart. Over time you had taken a fondness to him, and it seems, he to you.

~

Usually, every few weeks, the ship would stop for a day at a port, not for the crews leisure, but for the captains. He needed his….fixes. He would disappear for the entire time, off with groups of maidens, whores, and when he returned, he would be in a much better mood. At the moment though, you were too far out at sea to stop. It had been around 4 months, and the men were starting to get desperate. Your captain, in particular, had been in a horrible mood. Far more angry than usual, screaming at the crew, and staying cooped up in his quarters, soaked in booze.

It was extraordinarly late at night, the moon was high, the ship was rocking with the waves and wind. You were lying awake in your makeshift bed, unable to sleep. Suddenly, you were approached by Chris, the first mate. He was standing above you. He nudged you with his boot to get your attention. "The captain wishes to see you..in his quarters." He gave you a little smile before disappearing.

You quietly make your way to Jacob's door, deep within the ship, away from the crew. He liked his privacy. You knock quietly at the worn down wood, and his voice bellows out, slurred. "Come in."

You carefully open the door, and you are met with a sight that makes your cunt weep. Jacob sits in an old chair, his legs spread open, his head hung down. His shirt was popped open,  all but the last 2 buttons undone. He had a painfully obvious erection, prominent under the leather of his pants. His fingers on one side were curled around the neck of an almost-empty bottle of rum. His long hair had fallen in front of his face, and he peered up at you through it. "Birdie..c'mere" He said, beckoning you forward with his free hand.

Bird. The nickname he had bestowed upon you, when, on your first day on his ship, a seagull shit on your head. He had watched you struggle to wash it out, teasing you the entire time for it. A week later, the same happened to him, and he claims you cursed him.

You awkwardly made your way over to him until you stood between his legs. He slowly tilted his head back to look at you, taking in your features for a moment. His voice comes out low and raspy.

"Kneel."

You hesitate for a moment, frozen by shock. He couldn't be serious? You are quickly corrected that he is, when his eyebrows furrow angrily, and he raises his voice ever so slightly.

"You heard me. Kneel. Obey your Captain."

Not wanting to risk pissing him off any further, you immediately drop to your knees before him. He grins at that.

"There you go. Good." And with that, his free hand is buried in your hair, roughly shoving you forward until your nose is pressed against his crotch. You look up at him wide eyed for a moment, before relaxing a little into it, gently mouthing at him through the leather.

He groans. "Y'know what I want"

He fumbles with the button of his pants until it pops open, shoving them down his thighs until his cock springs free. He's incredibly hard, dripping with precum. This close you can smell him, every little scent, mixed together, making your head swim. It's musky. Sweat, salt, cigar smoke, booze, leather, dust, and something you can't quite place.

"C'mon, little birdie…love on my cock, won't you?"

Tentatively, you lick a long stripe up the underside of it before placing a little kiss on the tip. He takes another swig of his booze, his eyes locked on yours. He lets out a shuddering breath when you suck the head into your mouth.

He rolls his hips up and shoves your head down, forcing himself down your throat, groaning in pleasure when you swallow around him. "Fuck.." The word trembles out of him. "Natural, aren't you? You do this for the rest of the crew?"

You quickly shake your head no, and he grins, chuckling softly. Holding you by the hair, he bucks his hips up again, fucking into your mouth. He sighs. "Don't make me do all the work."

Slowly, you bob your head up and down along him, sucking and lapping at him lightly. His head falls back against the chair. Uncontrolled, slurred moans and curses spilled from his lips. You pick up the pace, hands grabbing at his thighs, his moans getting louder.

His hips stutter up, and that is the only warning you get before your mouth is filled with his release. He leans forward, his fingers digging into your hair as he moans breathlessly, writhing a bit, nearly dropping the rum bottle. After a moment he slowly pulls you off but grabs your chin, shoving your mouth shut, forcing you to swallow. He smirks when you do.

"There. Thanks, bird."

His calloused fingers cup your cheek for just a moment, running his thumb over your bottom lip, swiping away the saliva and cum left there. After a minute, he rises from his chair, setting the bottle down, he stumbles over to his bed. "Well, come on, then. I won't wait all night."

You scramble to your feet and over to his bed. He reaches over and grabs you by the shirt, throwing you down on to the bed with a little thud. His was much more comfortable than your own. His fingers hook under the edge of the shirt and pull it upwards. "Cap'n-" You gasp out, but it was too late.

He stares down at the cloth tied tightly around your chest curiously, one of his eyebrows quirked up in question. You look up at him, wide eyed and fearful. He runs a hand across it, and when you don't wince in pain, his curiosity grows ever stronger.

You struggle to form an answer, just looking up at him. "What- why?-" Jacob says softly, confused. His fingers find one end of the fabric and he unwraps it, pulling it off of your body. You turn your head away, hiding your face as you tremble beneath him, horrified.

"Oh, bird…." He looks at you in awe as he realizes. His hands run across your chest, squeezing lightly. After a minute he speaks quietly. "..'M not gonna kick you off the ship. Well, with a deal. You stay open to me, let me have you whenever I please, and this stays our little secret, Al-right?"

You nod quickly. "Yes- yes- anything you want, Captain." You say quickly, still shaking with the shock of it all. His hands slip down your stomach to your pants, unbuttoning them and tugging them down and entirely off of you. He shoves your thighs open and dips his head down.

He groans at the sight of your soaked cunt. Without a thought to it, he pressed his face against you, inhaling deeply as his nose brushed against you, his tongue delving inside.

He almost whines at the taste of you. It makes you cry out, your back arching up off the bed. His nails dig into your hips, holding you down as he lapped at you like he was a starved man, and your cunt was his very favorite meal.

He continues this for a few minutes, bringing you right to the edge. And when he knows you are about to release, he stops, grinning as he watches you struggle in frustration.

He lifts his head up, and, Gods, was he a sight. His eyes hazy, his hair a mess, his lips, shaded pinker than usual from kissing and sucking at you, and the best, his entire chin, lips, some of his cheeks, and the tip of his nose glistened with your slick.

He gets up to kick off his own pants, and abandon his shirt. You drink in the sight of his naked form, the only thing left being his jewelry. Doubloons that dangled from his neck. Carefully crafted, and carefully stolen rings of silver adorning his hands, and the hoop earrings that you got a glimpse of every so often when he pushed his hair back.

He climbed back atop of you, kneeled between your thighs. He pushed your legs up, one of his hands gripping the back of one of your thighs, the other, wrapped around the base of his cock. He gave himself a few quick strokes before pulling you up by the hips and lining himself up, letting his tip graze against you.

With one push, he was buried completely inside of you. His head fell forward, giving a loud groan, almost a growl. He stilled for a moment so you both could adjust to the feeling, before beginning to slowly rock his hips, starting out in time with the ship. He was fucking you in time with the waves. What a man.

"Fuck, you really are a little bird. Singing so pretty for me…"

The mixture of both yours and his moans fill the small room. His fingers had a grip on your hips that you knew would leave a bruise by sunrise. He sped up his movements, grunting through gritted teeth.

You could feel yourself quickly getting close again, and, by the sloppiness of his movements, it seems Jacob was too. You scramble to hold on to him, nails digging into his shoulders. He snarls, pounding into you roughly. "Come on. Fuckin do it!" He growls out the words lowly.

And with that, you felt the coil deep in your stomach release, crying out as the waves of pleasure washed over and through you, making you tremble. He was close behind you, giving a final thrust before spilling inside of you, his mouth open, his head hanging back.

You both were panting as you came down from your highs. After a moment, he slowly pulled out, making you whine. He smirked as he watched his cum dripping out of your cunt. "What a mess." He sighed, but had no intention of cleaning it up.

He climbed out of bed, retrieving his booze, and tossing a scrap handkerchief at you, letting you wipe yourself off. After taking a long drink of rum, he flopped back down on the bed and threw one arm over you, cuddled up close.

"Thanks, birdie."

im normal. I'm so normal about this.

picking his boogers

PLEASE ILL ACTUALLY DIE

i might have to write a cowboy josh fic after jakes fic cause of this photo

can they kiss already

“Alright. I’ve got an idea. Alright Turpin, do the th— do the thing. Come on old boy.”

OH MY GODS??

cosmic kiss

alien!josh kiszka x female!reader

a/n: if this fic is familiar to you that is because i wrote it last year during spooky season & posted it to my old blog, stardustschords. i’ve added to it a bit and now i’m reposting. my best friend @alwayzthere helped me with the ideas here last year when i wrote this. PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS.

warnings: explicit sexual content, 18+. in this fic, josh is an extra-terrestrial being. all parties are consenting. josh has magic hands and an even more magical tongue. (i have added a disclaimer to the end in case the “plot twist” doesn’t make sense.)

tags: pls let me know if you’d like to be added or removed. @alwayzthere @strangersingold @garbagevanfleet @harmonyhous @obetrolncocktails @godlygreta @gardenvanfleet @singingmangoes @tripthelight-fanfic @theweightofstardust @teddiie @gretavanfleas @brokenbellz @jordierama

“aliens aren’t fucking real, daniel. you’re ridiculous. the fact that you drug me out into this cornfield in the middle of the night is bullshit!” you spew, angry that you’d once again agreed to danny’s shenanigans. apparently sam was unavailable, so daniel forced you to accompany him on his overnight attempt at proving aliens did, in fact, exist.

“i brought blankets and snacks!” he says, flashing you a warm smile, but you didn’t reciprocate. “it’s cold as fuck out here danny, this is so dumb.” you chide, smacking him lightly on the shoulder. you watch as he pulls out some filming equipment, and he giggles as you ask where he got it from. “i borrowed it from the twins.” he goes on to explain to you that cell phone cameras are less likely to capture paranormal or extra-terrestrial activity, so it’s better to use film cameras or disposable.

the twins were sam’s older brothers. jake was the younger twin, by five minutes, which josh made known every chance he got, and he was talented and musical and just fun to be around. josh, however… was a different story. to say you had it bad for josh was an understatement. he was theatrical, loud, and he carried himself with such a lovely, confident air. any time you saw his smile you swore you could take off in flight. you’d told daniel about your crush, but you could never tell sam, because you knew he’d rat you out.

you scoffed at daniel, scolding him for borrowing their equipment for such an idiotic idea. he shook his head at you before going back to setting up.

when he was done he helped you lay out the blanket, and you just sat with him for a while and talked. “danny, this is dumb. can we go home?” you question, but he shakes his head no. “we have to wait! i know aliens are real and i saw online that tonight was the perfect night. just be patient, y/n.”

“this is like when linus spent all night waiting for the great pumpkin.”

☆☆☆

you tried to be patient, but you fell asleep. you were convinced you’d been having some strange dream until you opened your eyes to a solid white room, and your body strapped to a very cold metal table. you blinked your eyes rapidly, unsure of what was going on, and you saw two people standing over in the corner.

in your dream, you remembered a bright light droning down upon you and danny, but after that, everything went black. the people in the corner walked over to you, and you noticed a strange looking woman and…. josh?

you looked over at him and he smiled at you, and all you could do was cry. “please let me up from this table, josh. this isn’t funny. you guys got your halloween prank.”

you saw the woman next to him, who had the strangest eyes you’d ever seen, jotting your every word down on to a notepad. “hello, young one,” josh stated, reaching out to wrap a strand of your hair around his finger, “i am not your friend josh. we are extraterrestrials, and i have taken the form of that whom you most desire.”

tears began to flow even more as you realized that danny HAD told josh of your crush. he looked over at the woman, who you’d assumed he’d hired on for the act, and made a face at her, to which she continued to write. “look, i know this is funny to you guys. i’m sure you probably hired all these people that you knew from your acting and had them help you set all this up, but josh, i’m begging you. please let me go home.”

“listen, pet. i’m sorry that this is confusing for you. since you don’t believe me, i can show you if you’d like.” he speaks, his tone soft and endearing. you shake your head yes at him, and he slowly reaches out to trace a finger up your arm. the moment his digit traced your skin, you felt vibrations begin to flow through you, and the place where he touched you began to glow iridescent.

you stare at him with a bewildered look, but he just flashes you that beautiful smile. “i know this is confusing, and you can still call me josh if you’d like.” you aren’t sure what to say, so you keep quiet. he turns to the woman and nods once and she exits the room. once she’s gone, josh unhooks you from the few wires attached to your forearms and lets the straps binding you to the table loose.

you rub your arms to soothe where the restraints had been and you looked over to josh - the alien - to see what he’d say next. you sat up from the table and glanced around the room. he smiled at you before reaching out and tucking your hair behind your ear. “would you like to know why you’re here?” he asked, and you shook your head yes. you still only half believed this was happening. “i’m very interested in human-kind… and their carnal desires. because i can take the shape of your greatest desire, i’d like to know the reactions you’d give to him if he were to touch you. does that make sense?”

“not really,” you respond, “i still don’t really believe you. this is so weird.” he lets out a soft laugh and runs a hand along your arm, sending shockwaves through you. “you should trust in me, pet. i won’t hurt you” he says, leaning in to you to smell your hair. he places a soft kiss to your ear before asking, “is this okay? may i touch you?”

you nod your head yes and so he reaches down to wrap his hand around your wrist before squeezing it. you can feel the vibrations running up your arm again, matching your heartbeat and creating a deep thrum through your chest. his other hand glides along your jawline, cupping it, and he pulls his face away from your hair to make eye contact with you. before you can register what you’re doing, you grab him by the back of the head and kiss him, your lips meeting ungraciously.

you feel him laugh into your mouth before indulging you for a short moment. his lips are soft and pink and taste vaguely of strawberry, and though it may not be the real josh, you feel drunk from his kiss. he pulls away after a minute or so, and you can feel heat rise to your cheeks as you await his reaction. “i see you’re quite impulsive” he says, rubbing his hands up both your arms. you let a soft laugh fall from your lips before telling him, “i’d never have the guts to do that to the real josh.”

he stares at you for a moment before asking if he can continue, and you tell him yes. he leans back into you, pressing kisses to your jaw, and slowly starts to work his way down your neck. he skirts his fingers just below the hem of your shirt, and suddenly, you feel bold once again. you grab the thin material and whip it over your head, tossing it down to the floor. his eyes widen for a moment as he notices your lace bralette, but then he reaches a hand out to cup your breast over it.

he gradually begins to trail kisses down your neck and into the valley of your breasts before he slips a hand under the bralette and works it over your head himself. you let him take it off you and he throws it down to meet your shirt, and then trails even more kisses over your newly exposed flesh. you arch forward into his touch and you hear him hum in satisfaction as he latches his mouth around one of your nipples. the feeling of his mouth on you with the added vibration that you’re given from his touch is making your brain cloud, and you close your eyes so as not to get dizzy. he pulls away from you softly to ask you to look at him, and you try your best to keep your eyes open.

once he’s satisfied with the work he’s done on your chest, he continues down your stomach, dropping to his knees on the floor. he looks up at you through his eyelashes and you feel your heart melt, until he asks you, “may i taste you?”

you don’t think that you can ever speak again, much less answer his question with a single word, so you just nod your head yes and lean back slightly on the table. he slowly pulls your pants and underwear down your legs, and then he helps you position yourself so that your knees are bent and your feet are flat on the cool metal. he leans into you slowly, pressing kisses to your thighs, and then slowly begins to roll your clit with his tongue. you make eye contact with him and he takes it as encouragement to continue, and you mewl as you feel his strong hands wrap around your thighs to hold you closer to him.

at first when you feel his tongue prodding at your hole, you jump, but then your body melts into him as a wave of euphoria washes over you. at first it feels gentle, as it would if you were being eaten out by a normal human… but then it changes. you can feel the muscle begin to grow thicker and longer inside of you, and josh curls it upward to press into your g-spot. his grip on your thighs changes as he begins to radiate vibration back into you, and you’re sure the noises leaving your body are other-wordly.

you stare down at him, his face pressed into you, and you think you’re going to black out when he flashes you a wink. his tongue is so deep inside of you that you can feel it hitting your cervix, and you struggle against his grasp as you try to push yourself farther down onto him, if at all possible. you feel him laugh against you and the added vibration of his voice almost knocks you over the edge. every languid movement he makes inside of you pushes you closer and closer to your impending orgasm, but just before you cum, he stops. he moves his face away from you and stands, and you almost begin to sob from the loss of contact. “it’s okay, don’t cry,” he says softly, leaning back into your neck and kissing you, “we aren’t done. i just want to feel you cum around me, that’s all.”

he begins to suck and bite at your neck slowly, painting the skin with pink and purple marks. you’ll be glad to reminisce over those for the next few days. you grab his shoulders and push him backwards slightly before gripping your fingers into his hair and pulling him towards you, your mouth meeting his clavicle. you bite into it gently, because if you get marks so does he, alien or not. he moves slightly to lift his shirt over his head and you blush realizing that you’re completely exposed to him while he’s been fully clothed.

you watch him as he tugs his pants down his legs, following with his underwear. his cock springs upward against his abdomen and you find yourself blushing at the sight of it. it’s beautiful, like him, and you wonder if that’s what josh ACTUALLY looks like naked. as if he can read your mind, he hooks a finger under your chin and whispers, “what you’re seeing is what you get, baby.”

you lean back a little farther on the table and he places himself between your legs, slowly inching his cock towards you. you whimper as you feel him slide it through your folds and tap it against your clit. once he’s done teasing he pushes into the hilt, and the feeling of him buried inside you is almost enough to make you cum right then. he begins to rock himself in and out of you slowly, and you grab onto his hands and squeeze them hard. you’ve never been made to feel this way before, and your body isn’t sure how to react.

every inch of your body is slowly being coated with pleasure, and every movement from josh is a driving force tipping you over the ledge. “cum for me, it’s okay” he assures you, and you can feel yourself slipping after only a few moments of him fucking you. it doesn’t take long for him to cum either, his body working over yours with soft grunts and pants. once he’s finished he pulls out, and then sweetly helps you clean up before you slip into unconsciousness.

☆☆☆

your body jolts awake suddenly, and after rubbing your eyes a few times you realize you’re in daniel’s room. you look over to the floor and see a pile of blankets there, so you assume that’s where he slept. he walks casually through the door, scrunching his hair with a towel, and smiles at you.

“did you sleep okay?” he questions, and you give him a strange look. “i had this crazy ass dream, actually. how’d we get back here?”

he tells you that he got bored after you dozed off and decided the trip was dumb, so he helped you into the car and you just came back and crashed at his place. you nod, your focus still lingering on the dream you’d just had. “go get cleaned up,” he says, tossing you a hoodie, “we’re picking the kiszka’s up and going to breakfast.”

you walk down the hall to his bathroom and inspect yourself in the mirror, sucking in a sharp gasp when you see your neck littered with marks… so you hadn’t been dreaming all along. you wash up and change your clothes before meeting danny outside, slipping into the front passenger seat next to him. he makes the short drive to the boys apartment, and you laugh as you see them stroll outside.

jake hops in behind you, wishing you a good morning and giving you a soft smile before smirking at the marks you’ve got on your throat. josh clambers into the car next, scooting himself into the middle seat. he says nothing, but he has a playful grin on his face. next comes sam, and as he gets in the car he curses and tells josh to “scoot the fuck over.”

josh doesn’t oblige, but you can tell they’ve been bickering all morning because jake seems to have had enough. he grabs josh by the collar of his shirt and yanks him closer to his side, and your breath hitches in your throat as his left clavicle is exposed to you. a bite mark in the shape of your mouth is forming there, deep and purple.

josh doesn’t say a word, but he meets your gaze in the rearview before winking at you, and then sticking out his tongue tauntingly.

•••

disclaimer: josh was an alien the whole time. lived an entire life on earth as an alien. he probably is one in real life. who’s to say?

whatever you do DON'T imagine him between your thighs looking at you like this

he looks like a hamster