Jungkook | Jeha X Let Down / Radiohead

this is purely self indulgent.

i present to you MY shaylas 🤭

park haru | kim jooan x all the things she said / t.A.T.u

“𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘨𝘰”

— 𝙝𝙮𝙮𝙝 𝙟𝙞𝙢𝙞𝙣 𝙭 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 / 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙙

begins youth is absolutely everything younger me could have wished for. its scratching the hyyh itch so well that its leaving me elated. sure, some things are different. sure, bighit messed with the release logistics. honestly? i cant care.

jin is here and he's carrying the pressure of the adult world and his found family. joon's here and he's throwing a protective arm over tae's shoulders like they aren't tired from 16 hours of work. jimin's dealing with demons that are straight out of psychological horror movies and his empty eyes when he smiles might be the biggest offender. hobi with his absolutely insanely human condition about the things he did to get love and attention and that conversation about tools for survival. tae who is the most hyyh of them all, balancing that knife's edge of innocent childishness and genetic violence, standing like he isn't a ticking time bomb.

jungkook, the youngest, who found a family and latched on too hard. who everyone worries will be corrupted, who has never quite fit in right, who smiles as he says words that belong to experiences much older than him. yoongi who has never been just the angst, the emotionless bastard. who has always shed that for his friends, thinking nothing of high falsettos and ridiculous cheers for their smiles. who silently protects and is loyal to the end. who is afraid of letting it be known, so that they can't expect him to stay, be someone worth staying for, because he wasn't enough for her and he'll never be enough for them. the roof of a building and the flickering of a flame.

agh. its so good. i feel so vindicated. this mattered to me, and whoever worked on this, it mattered to them too. the actors clearly studied and respected their roles, the characterisation stays true to them despite the source material being so easy to retcon. there's so much care and authenticity to what hyyh was back then. its still here, we never moved on, and they haven't either. thank god. i never said goodbye.

I was on a train 7 months ago and it was 1am and I had written something and just rediscovered it

jungkook sits across from yoongi on the train. as he looks out the window, the trees and foliage and twilight flutter past him, not fast enough for him to miss, but not slow enough for him to linger in the spaces between them. he sees yoongi’s reflection in the window, the fluorescent train lights illuminating his hunched over figure scrolling away at his phone. the dark night bleeds into yoongi’s face. he’s transparent, but if jungkook concentrates, he becomes almost solid, the color of his arm so close to reality in the tinted glass. but if he shifts his focus to the scenery, yoongi is marred, the trees and buildings blending into the lines that outline his face, making him disappear. it invokes some strange, irrational fear in jungkook’s gut, something knotted in his intestines that burrows itself further in as he keeps staring. yoongi fades, then he is solid, then he is a mixture of blue and green and shapes that twist and change form at random. then he is solid again. for just a moment, when they pass a particularly red brick building, yoongi is gone completely. it makes jungkook want to look away. but he keeps his eyes trained on the reflection, watching yoongi wrinkle his nose, shift in his seat. absentmindedly scratch his arm. he wonders if yoongi knows he’s watching him. he wonders if yoongi will look up and into the window, and catch jungkook’s reflected eyes with his own. harness jungkook’s gaze and keep him trapped there as he bores into his heart. he wonders if he will see jungkook, make eye contact, with both their reflected states fading in-and-out of the trees, only half-existing, and if their temporary presences will find each other in the murk. if jungkook presses his nose to the glass, the reflections disappear. but he is selfish and wants to stare at yoongi and the slight flick of his thumb as he pads at his phone screen, he wants to trap this vision in his cornea forever. he wants to access it later when he’s alone, basking in the memory of yoongi’s closeness. the intimacy of it. jungkook wants him forever.

(the scariest thing about reflections (is that although he can see yoongi in almost-solid) (he can’t see himself at all) (he is transparent) (the outline of his head barely there as the sky takes the place of his face) (yoongi exists but jungkook does not) (yoongi exists on a different plane) (on opposing photoreceptive realms) (but maybe) (on yoongi’s end) (jungkook is only thing he sees.)

park haru x doubt (demo version) / twenty one pilots

𝙝𝙮𝙮𝙝 𝙭 𝙗𝙚𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙝 𝙭 𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙠’𝙨 𝙥𝙞𝙖𝙣𝙤

It’s so interesting to compare Haru’s and Jooan’s characters as someone who hears things that aren’t really there vs. someone who can’t hear things that are (out of one ear albeit).

It makes for such an interesting comparison between their characters. Haru who believes things that aren’t real vs. Jooan who (symbolically) turns a deaf ear to what’s real but he doesn’t want to believe. Haru who cannot decipher hallucination from reality vs. Jooan who won’t accept reality.

And although they are contrasted in such a way, they both have a fabricated reality which is less painful.

You have Haru who has no outlet for his trauma, isn’t allowed to talk about it, and has to constantly lie to his best friends. Then, you have Jooan who wants to believe things will be okay with his father, things will get better and he won’t have to leave. Jooan who wants so desperately to believe it is just bad luck he’s deaf in his left ear and it isn’t his father’s fault.

Reality for Haru is twisted so he has someone he can talk to, someone he finally does not have to lie to. Jooan twists his own reality by ignoring the truth for something less painful.

This is only makes Jooan’s outrage at Haru’s believing in a friend that doesn’t exist all the more interesting to me since he essentially does the same thing. They both believe in lies.

“𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴, 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘈𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘭 11”

— 𝙝𝙮𝙮𝙝 𝙭 𝙨𝙪𝙣 𝙗𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙨 / 𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙡 𝙘𝙖𝙞𝙣

[ENG] Begins ≠ Youth (all episodes)

Episode 1: SOURCE 1 | SOURCE 2

Episode 2: SOURCE 1 | SOURCE 2

Episode 3: SOURCE 1 | SOURCE 2

Episode 4: SOURCE 1 | SOURCE 2

Episode 5: SOURCE 1 | SOURCE 2

Episode 6: SOURCE 1 | SOURCE 2

Episode 7: SOURCE 1 | SOURCE 2

Episode 8: SOURCE 1 | SOURCE 2

Episode 9: SOURCE 1 | SOURCE 2

Episode 10: SOURCE 1 | SOURCE 2

Episode 11: SOURCE 1 | SOURCE 2

Episode 12: SOURCE 1 | SOURCE 2