You Can't Tell Me That This Isn't Purple In Your Eyes There.

No insult to your hair, and your hair is great (it looks so silky...)

I'm just weird and sometimes get thoughts like that when I look at people.

For some reason I think that Charlie Bucket likes spiders and snails and all that stuff. Or at least tolerates them.

Hm, you're a very strange little cocoa bean...

Ugh, no! Absolutely not. I wouldn't ever allow Charlie to bring those furry little creepy crawlers into the factory. I'd have my Oompa Loompas exterminate them at once! Bugs and insects are not to be around my precious chocolate, or anything else for that matter. That's just disgusting.

Oh yeah, forgot he was tagged. 😅

@wilburwonkasblog Some awfully and recently constructed tumblr (maybe bot?) page promoting dentistry products and healthcare was following me and now they've mysteriously disappeared! I only noticed because they were selling dentist related stuff, and you know how I feel about that stuff. I hope that I can trust it wasn't you, no, you wouldn't do that. Especially not now?

Good morning, people!

I want to quickly show you guys something new inside the factory!

This is the Space and Underwater room! How many of you believe in aliens? I hope you do, because we've perfectly constructed anti gravity delicacies, called Moon Pies, that we're going to send straight into orbit, allowing any aliens out there with a sweet tooth to eat to his or her fill. And that way, if the sweet is eaten, we'll know whether or not extraterrestrial life forces exists. Brilliant, no?

Now, these big white balls attached to the ceiling above the Oompa Loompas' heads are organic moon replicas, made from crystalized particles, Himalayan salt and Alpaca fiber. They're used to collect any goop or DNA from any aliens that eat the pies off 'em. We've also set up a big pair of binoculars to see if we capture any activity.

Oh, and check this out, this is one of the neatest things. This is the Underwater Simulator, it serves the same purpose as the Space Simulator and Moon Pies, except its job is to lure otherworldly marine vessels into our line of vision, see if they like chocolate.

You just simply dunk a person, or in this case an Oompa Loompa, into the water and they can scuba their little bodies around while collecting data. Yeah.

Though it's a latest and greatest idea still in the works, if successful, I'll be the first chocolatier in the world to document extraterrestrial life! Ha, can you just imagine?!

Goodnight!

🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩

🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩

If a girl's coochie smells like tuna fish is that bad for men? Asking for a friend 😅😐😶🤐

I think m-maybe that's a q-question for your gynecologist, dear girl.

...Heh...yeah. Gynecologist.

I'm not a doctor. I'm a chocolatier. I make chocolate. 'Kay?

Dad, please. Not now.

Caramel they say? Is it true?

I've heard I smell like everything from caramel to peanuts and sugar. Who knows? It changes every time, depending on the person.

So since you don't follow or like people I guess I can't count on you following me back 😭

No, sorry. I'm not here for friends. No offense.

Donau is very beautiful, very tasty looking. My Oompa Loompas could probably whip some up!

Nobody:

Absolutely no one in the world:

You: Good morning my little chocolate chips!

..

(Ilysfm 😂😂😂)

Well, everybody likes chocolate chips and if anyone doesn't then they need their head checked.

Hahahahahaha!

I love how you rejected Mrs beareguarde before the boat ride and didn't sit by her but then after that you was just all up in her personal space and sneaking up on her and shit 😂😂😂😂😂

Was I invading her personal space any more than she had already mine? I didn't notice. Her advance prior was intentional, though. My being in her space was just coincidental and situational. Because her daughter was a gigantic blueberry and that probably needed to be talked about.

You strike me as the guy who casually wears bathrobes in the morning and on wellness sundays.

Oh yes, I have many bath and night robes made from the finest satin and silk. And velvet. If you gotta work hard you might as well be comfortable while doing it!

I just ordered a few more this week.