I Don’t Desire Sex, Wetness Or Intimacy. Perhaps I Am Simply Less Of An Animal. Then-what Am I? A Man,

I don’t desire sex, wetness or intimacy. Perhaps I am simply less of an animal. Then-what am I? A man, a dog, a bonfire? God? I am a poet, I know that. But I am not a poet who loves in such ways, so I must not be a very good one. Everyone wants to read about sex, that much is obvious.

More Posts from The-writing-avocado and Others

8 months ago

tumblr users love reading. you literally stopped for this post just because it has words in it

8 months ago
7 months ago

Hey, the ACLU is getting people to send letters to your Reps to have Congress pass the No Kings Act.

This act would make constitutional amendments to ensure that even sitting presidents are held liable for their actions. That NOBODY is above the law.

Their goal is 150k messages sent and at the time of writing this they're about 2.1k off from that goal!

ACLU gives you a prefilled message that you can edit to send to make the process easier, and will send it out for you.

Tell Congress: America Elects Presidents, Not Kings
action.aclu.org
The Supreme Court declared that criminal law doesn’t apply when you’re Donald Trump or any other president using the powers of the office. D

This only takes a few minutes!

7 months ago

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

First Thing You See After You Zoom In Is How You Die

How you dying 👀


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8 months ago

Beans.

My partner and I have a running joke with a friend. Every time he goes on holiday we increase the quantity of beans in his flat.

The first time we bought ~30 cans of kidney beans and hid them around the house like some Easter egg hunt thing but with beans.

The Second time we bought ~6kg dried white beans and hid those in various places. Nearly every receptacle that could safely hold beans became the home of beans. My personal favourite was emptying an oat milk carton, very carefully washing and drying it, filling it with beans and then just putting it back among several other cartons.

He went on holiday again a couple of weeks ago. Obviously there is an expectation of bean-based shenanigans. And obviously we have to beat our previous efforts.

Our friend has (had) a mosaic on his wall of the famous Marilyn Monroe Pop-Art by Andy Warhol. He made the mosaic himself. Over the last couple of weeks we have spent hours and hours assembling a frame, drawing up a pattern and gridding out a 70 x 70 frame and gluing an untold amount of beans to it. I have spent over 21 hours gluing beans to a frames.

For the last couple of days I ended up going to bed at 5:00 am because I lost track of time whilst experimenting with which types of glue works best with different beans (I now have *opinions* on this, y’all). The day of our friend’s return we spent the morning and afternoon grouting the piece and wiping it down and wiping it down again and wiping it down again because grout is just like that. In the evening we went to install the mosaic, just a few hours before his return. Here’s a comparison between the original and our clearly superior replication, and the new piece installed in its rightful place.

a photo of the bean mosaic hanging on the wall. it is made of kidney beans for the background and red lips, black beans for the shadows, white beans for the skin and yellow beans for the hair.
photo of the two mosaics lying side by side. the red of the tiled mosaic is brighter than the red of the bean mosaic and has less white grout showing through than the bean replica
7 months ago
tweet from @/ItsBCJim that reads: The bad part of getting older is that you become an NPC, the good part is that being an NPC rocks. Nothing like walking down the street with a thought bubble that's just a sandwich you're looking forward to. Protagonism is best left to teens and the insane.

where's that masterpost of quotes that have no right going as hard as they do. I'd like to submit "Protagonism is best left to teens and the insane"

7 months ago

I hope every health insurance exec dies from painful and preventable disease

7 months ago

Fun fact: in the 80′s the Dutch Unemployed Union held ‘fridge raids’ to protest against poverty. 

They’d find out when a politician of big boss who upheld poverty and starvation wages was speaking at some public even, then they’d carefully break into his house with a LOT of people and they would eat EVERY piece of food in his house and leave the empty dished behind without taking anything else. 

8 months ago

TIP:

This holiday season, if you know someone who likes house plants,

DON'T

get them a houseplant. DO NOT.

instead, get them a NICE, MEDIUM-LARGE, AESTHETIC, BOTTOM-DRAINING, INDOOR

POT.

that is what they want. that is what they dream of. ok? thats what will be most useful and appreciated. in fact, if you can, get them a CUTE MATCHING SET. OF POTS!!!! NOT PLANTS, POTS!!!!!!!!

they may be more excited initially about the plant. that is true. but a pot is a gift that they will go home and use to upsize one of their already beloved houseplants, and every time they look at it they will remember how much they appreciate you.

HOUSEPLANT:

- they already have so many

- needs to be watered

- takes up window space

- comes in a pot thats already too small, needs to be upsized, costing money

- can die

AESTHETIC POT

- lets them care for an existing plant they own

- they will be grateful every time they see it in their home

- does not take up window space not already occupied by a plant

- can be wrapped without dying or spilling dirt everywhere

7 months ago

imagine being a Korean person awake at like one in the morning trying to accept that the president of South Korea actually just tried to go full dictatorship by way of an emergency martial law because he was basically having a political temper tantrum and every agency and corporation in the country is all hands on deck, code red mode on everything and the military is being deployed and then the assembly revokes the martial law and then the president is like lol nevermind and now you have to get ready to work at your shitty job on a Wednesday

Imagine Being A Korean Person Awake At Like One In The Morning Trying To Accept That The President Of
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the-writing-avocado - If I'm writing I should definitely be sleeping
If I'm writing I should definitely be sleeping

Kayla she/her, a blog for my writing and any inspiration, if I ever remember to share it---I don't.

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