Sojunked - 𓆝

when mutual tell me two fictional men i dont know had gay sex

i know i could never be a mother because even when my own body needs something im like fuck bitch AGAIN!!!!

Sometimes little pleasures in life are loadbearing. Whenever someone is like "If you'd just give up tea and coffee and sugar and--" im like I'll stop you right there. Because if you finish that sentence i am going to kill everyone in this building and then myself. If i have to face the horrors of the world without my little jar of caramel flavoured instant coffee i am going to go full American Psycho. Believe it or not, my main priority in life is not to have perfect teeth or be an Olympic athlete or look like a supermodel, but to actually enjoy living, because I spent far too long not doing that and it royally sucked. And boy, some people don't like hearing that. Particularly dentists

yeah im good with what i have (about to explode with yearning)

we need to be weirder & so so earnest now more than ever

Exuse me? This figurine you sold me that you said was in mint condition? Yeah I ate it and it tasted nothing like mint. I want a refund on my $300 and I need you to pay for my hospital bill.