Tw/cw: Suicide, All Caps In Parts Of Our Post

I'm a bit bored, I should probably work on English class work, but my brain says no, and I have no real control, lol.

Anyways, fictionkin shit, this is gonna be talking about my biological parents as Zuki, so there will be trigger warnings. All of this is just to do with my life as Zuki, I have problems with my parents here, but not as bad.

Tw: hinted at sexual assult not said by name but still, physical abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, child abuse, bullying, scars, burning/fire, and maybe more? Idk if there's anything to add, let me know.

My bio father as Zuki was a horrible abusive asshole. He was not the first guy to get my bio mother pregnant [as my old sibling is my half-sibling from my mom]. He told my mother that if she just had one kid with him, then he would be "happy" (not his actual words but whatever). So I was the kid that came from this "agreement".

But when I actually got the first part[s] of my quirk at the age of 4, which included wings (which came from my sib's bio father pretty much, it's hard to explain exactly), he was fucking pissed but couldn't do anything cause my mother did what he wanted, she had one kid with him (just not the kid he wanted).

At the age of 7, the other part of my quirk came in. Which is/was essentially the ability to "drop" my body and become a "spirit," I guess you could say. It freaked people out, causing a lot of bullying and shit. Anyways, that just made my bio father [I hate calling him that, but whatever] hate me more.

He was always "aggressive" and abusive, I mean, he didn't get physical to me until I was around 5 or so. I also couldn't actually speak until I was at least 7, and then it was about at a like 2 year old level, basically. Anyways, he got physically abusive towards me when I was like 5, but he was always verbally and emotionally abusive towards me.

When I was like 11, my bio father got put into jail cause my old sib got into UA and told Aizawa about him and shit. I was happy that I was "free" from abuse [I wasn't really, but I was at least free from him].

My bio mother had an alcohol problem and would drink a whole lot. She wasn't really ever physically abusive when I was younger. But after my bio father got put in jail, it actually seemed to get worse with her towards me. Idk why exactly, but I believe it had to do with me kinda looking like my bio father and also my bio mother (she definitely had problems with self image and took it out on me).

My old sib didn't see the abusive side of our mother at all. They were the favorite child, they didn't look as much like our mother, I guess. They had seen only the loving side of our mother, which I knew existed but rarely saw when I was alone with her.

I always had a hard time admitting that my mother was abusive and shit. To me, it was deserved cause I was an unwanted pup that she was forced to have and care for. She still wasn't typically physically abusive.

When I was like 12 or 13, my bio mother left me alone in the house. She had slapped me to the ground before fully leaving as I was quietly "screaming" for her to not leave me. My older sib never knew this. As far as they knew, our mother was just really busy with hero work [I forgot to mention that both of my bio parents were heroes]. The only time our mother would be at the house is if I had called or texted her about my old sibling wanting to see her and shit. Then she would come home and act like everything was fine and that she still lived there and took care of me.

That went on until I was like 15, it was my second year in high school [another reminder that UA is a college and I was 18 in my canon]. My bio mother had been in a bad villain attack and was at the hospital and would never do hero work again and would have to be in the hospital for a while (years). After that happened, my old sib ended up becoming my legal guardian and shit.

My old sib was pretty busy with hero work since they were pretty much just starting out with their hero career. They asked Izuku's mom [Auntie Inko as I called her] to look out for me a lot, as she already was, and because me and Izuku were childhood friends who were re-becoming friends again.

Pretty sure if Auntie Inko had the full ability to support another child legally and shit, she would've adopted me. I was not an easy pup to deal with, though. I was very suspicious of her kindness and would fight her [I bit her a few times cause of being fearful and shit, I really regret that and shit]. I was sure that she would abandon me as well one day, of course this never happened [think of the moment in the movie Bolt where Mittens is talking about how "Penny is fake" that was kind of how I was with Izuku and his mom at first].

Anyways, Auntie Inko ended up basically being my parent until I got adopted by Dadzawa and Papamic.

I'm gonna go into a bit more detail, but not too much detail about my bio father's abuse now.

His quirk gave him wolf claws [not necessarily always out, but he kept them out almost all the time] that were able to use some of the elements (fire, water, etc. I guess) to hurt. It's kinda hard to explain rn, but basically, he could have his claws on fire [I use that example cause it was his favorite].

He would use his "fire claws" on me a lot when he wanted to hurt me. He burned me a lot with them, I had so many scars from him doing this a lot. I had one scar across my face that I got from one of those times that I hid with makeup for a long time. Eventually, I gave up hiding it, and when my friends asked about it, I would say it was old, and I just used to cover it up.

His abuse in this way made me very cautious around fire and shit [so yes I was very cautious and scared when Todoroki first started using his fire but I of course never said anything cause I was not about to discourage his use of his fire]. Fur and feathers don't really go with fire anyway, so yeah.

Idk if there's anything else I want to say but at least for right now, this is good. Sorry for 2 vent(?) posts back to back.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/hx/it)

We are now just blocking any donation asks.

We are not gonna change our stance on this.

Sorry, but this is our blog.

- Shay 🐾

We have said it before, but guess we have to say it again.

NO DONATION ASKS

We just end up deleting them so safe the time for everyone involved.

If the same people end up sending multiple, then they will get blocked.

- Shay (They/it) 🐾

Tw: sexual assault mentioned, trauma/ptsd, I think that's it? All of this is pretty much just past life, and it's not explicit, just mentioned by name.

Anyone else who experienced trauma in a past life that they haven't experienced in your current life, how do you deal with it?

I haven't ever been SAed in this life but I am pretty sure that I was at least once in a past life [maybe multiple past lifes, Zuki is the one that I am meaning rn]. And I have no real idea of how to go about dealing with this.

I feel shitty cause, like I've said, I have never been through that in this life, but it still affects me about as much as if I had. And I don't really know how to talk about this shit with people cause idk how they would react, even those that support and love me as I am [alterhuman/nonhuman stuff included] but having trauma from my past life that I haven't experienced here is kinda different.

Idk, I just want to know if anyone has any advice or anything for this situation.

Sorry for this type of post, I try not to bring too much stuff like this into my account, but I feel like I need to. I'll try and keep my posts more light-hearted or, at least of course, give trigger warnings or content warnings when they're not light-hearted.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/hx/it)

Yeah, we can

- Shay 🐾

We need to clean a room, do any beings have any tips? (We need tips that keep in mind that our issues are mainly from AuDHD and chronic pain rn).

- Shay 🐾

Reblog if you're not human

Question for the systems/plurals (or whatever term that beings use for those types of things) that have intentionally created alter(s)/headmate(s) [or whatever term].

How do you actually go about doing that? We are interested in trying to make/create some packmates (our version of alters/headmates) but we don't really know how to go about that.

We hope that we have explained this in a very respectful way.

- Shay 🐾 & Mystery ❔️ (when we started writing this post, Mystery was also in front, but not when posting this)

Edit (we originally just had this in the comments, but it's worth adding to the actual post): Add on to our original post. We have seen tumblr posts of "make a headmate/alter," are those recommended? (Hope this makes at least some sense). We don't necessarily mean using one or asking for one to be made for us. We just mean how they are formatted and all that. But also, would beings recommend using one of those?

If I remember to actually check my asks, I'll participate!

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it)

alterhuman trick-or-treat!

as october comes to an end, the time for Spooky approaches. the creatures of the night awaken, their reflecting eyes shine in the darkness. and what better way to celebrate than a good old trick-or-treat?

inbox trick-or-treating is a beloved tradition here on tumblr, which consists in sending an ask to the blog(s) of you choice as if they were houses in your neighborhood and you were the kid politely knocking on their door. you would ask, "trick or treat?" and the asked would then choose whether to reply with a treat (picture of candy) or a trick (a joke, a poem, a haiku, a drawing...).

well... thats the normal one anyways.

i propose something a bit different this year: an alterhuman-themed trick-or-treat! what is that, youll ask? simple: the 31st of october, instead of sharing candy, we will share our 'types snacks! for example, if youre a cat therian you can share a fish-shaped treat, if youre fictionkin you can share your favorite food from your source, if youre alienkin you can share your cultures traditional dish... the possibilities are endless!

how to participate? reblog this post to let your followers know youre doing this! the 31st ill send an ask to everyone who interacted with this post so no one misses out on the fun. see you on halloween!

I wanna make it clear that while I check my posts multiple times before posting, there could always be spelling or grammar mistakes or even words used wrong or weirdly.

I have a learning disability [it's called Specific Learning Disability on my paperwork, lol], as well as being autistic and ADHD. So keep all of that in mind if you see mistakes in my posts. Also, if you are polite about it, do feel free to correct me.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it)

I'm gonna start calling ourself a system/plural, I don't know the exact origin yet, cause I don't know if I had "enough" trauma at the "right" time for it to be DID or OSDD or any other dissociative disorder. But it feels like we are a system/plural.

We will only really be doing this here, I am unsure if I am gonna tell anyone I know in real life for now. I might wait till I figure out our origin, and even then, it would only be a few people that I would tell.

This feels like the right words and terms for what we feel. I will just be using system and plural for us as terms until I figure out more, of course.

- Shirley (They/them + ix/ix/ixs/ixs/ixself) | feels like the right name rn

[Using both I/me and we/our]

Love this post!!!

We ourselves don't have DID or OSDD [at least not diagnosed, and we won't argue with anyone on if we do or do not actually have either of these]. We think that those disorders don't fit us because of reasons related to our own experiences, and arguing with us isn't gonna change shit.

However, we do think our plurality relates at least a little to our trauma, so in that way, we are both under the "endogenic" label and "traumagenic". The origin we describe ourselves as is specifically "quoitraumagenic" which is a mix of "quoigenic" and "traumagenic". We have a post with the definition from a website about plurality.

We don't typically want to talk about our origin(s?) for our plurality. We are plural, and that's all that actually matters.

- Shay 🐾

hey, i saw a post on here saying you guys support non "traumagenic" systems and I was wanting to know if thats true.

You guys are so amazing and have helped me with my identity a lot, but this information is really important to me as a trauma survivor with severe PTSD. If you are pro endos but are open to listening to trauma survivors and phycology sources, I absolutely will provide them. I want you guys to be a safe space for people with PTSD and dissociative disorders so bad, as people who has OSDDDID tend to have more "contradictory" labels in the first place, due to the complex relationship all the different alters identities make combined.

I'm hoping so much that you'll be open to listening if this is true.

hello! i'm good, i don't need any!

if you only have severe PTSD and not a dissociative disorder and do not identify as plural, you should NOT be commenting on plurality at all. like i hate to break it to you, but if you do not deal with plurality, you do not know what the experience is like. reading papers about it will not give you insight into how people actually live.

i'm an inclusive Dissociative Identity Disorder system who is 100% pro endo, and any other type of system. i support ALL plurals, i don't cherry pick. you're correct, this blog is a safe space, especially for people with "contradictory" identities or ones that "don't make sense." why wouldn't i be here for endogenic and non traumagenic systems?

that would go against everything i stand for.

i am a trauma survivor as well. i *have* DID, i don't really need any resources on the matter- before I was diagnosed i spent years researching, and i still do keep up with research. i am aware that DID and OSDD are caused by trauma! generally it's severe, repeated trauma and/or neglect. i have no memories of my life before the age of 10. i too have severe PTSD, i have a diagnosis for C-PTSD in specific. i live with this every day of my life. i still have a lot of trauma and triggers. i black out and lose time and regularly forget who i am or where i'm at.

something to keep in mind is research on DID has literally 0 bearing on other types of plurality. just because there is a lot of research into DID, OSDD, etc. does not mean that other plural experiences do not exist. when ONLY siting medical sources and saying that because there's no other "proof" or "evidence" that other types of plurality "can't" exist, it's an appeal to authority. there is no research data to point toward because studies on DID and OSDD and other dissociative disorders have really only gained traction within the last 10 - 20 years maximum. this is an extremely recent phenomenon! just because there are no (paid, keep in mind that studies have to find funding, and investors are picky) medical papers or studies to point toward doesn't mean something isn't happening.

someone identifying as plural without trauma is not an affront to plurals who do have trauma. someone identifying as a system who doesn't have or know of any childhood trauma is not spitting in your face. i've seen this take around and it's just not it. don't take someone else's mental health as an attack on yours. it's not hurting you at all for people to identify as plural if they don't have trauma. it's not spitting in *my* face, so it's not spitting in yours, either. it's okay to let non traumagenic systems exist. it's not exacerbating your trauma or re-traumatizing you or subjecting you to new trauma.

they're not saying that your trauma is invalid just because they don't have any. i don't like people who get on a high horse because they have a dissociative disorder and act like they get to police how other people's brains work. you only know how your brain works. you do not know how any other type of system works.

endogenic systems are not identifying as endogenic to spite you or dissociative systems. they're not doing it to hurt you. they're doing it because they identify as multiple people. that is not being done with the intention to hurt anyone. this is about THEM, not you. nobody is the protagonist of the plural community. no one.

as a plural, myself, i get to choose who i support. and i choose to support people who aren't hurting anyone or doing anything wrong. i really don't care how offensive some people find non traumagenic systems, but they're not hurting you, me, or anyone else. live and let live. you don't know how someone else's brain works. you will never be able to know how someone else's brain works. accepting that will make your life easier.

being angry at other people for not having trauma will not make yours go away or undo what was done to you. you should never take out your frustrations on people who haven't hurt you. endos haven't hurt you, you just don't agree with them. these are 2 separate things. also you really don't have the right to comment on the nature of how complex non traumagenic plurality is or is not- endogenic systems can have just as many nuanced and complex identities regardless of whether or not they're dissociating. they're still multiple people whether or not you see them that way. they also have complex identities, why wouldn't they? being different people leads to a lot of complexity. you should still see them as multiple people even if you don't think it's legit. that's basic respect for another person who, again, literally hasn't hurt you.

also endogenic and non dissociative systems are still people, and we should still care about them. they're still people even if you don't agree with them, and again: they have not hurt you by virtue of existing.

hope that helps and makes sense. i am not open to changing my mind on this, but i appreciate you giving me a good reason to explain my stance on the matter. i don't have the right to police other people and tell them how their own brains work. you don't have that right, either. i'm not here to police anyone. that goes against everything i stand for. i don't gatekeep.

i'm not a cop.