S Is For Slug

Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

it's the last day you can rb this

Reblog if you're not homophobic

Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad. 

Ok ok ok so hear me out. I've seen a lot of stories and prompts where the Joker is scared of Danny. But honestly? Big scary ghost? Whatever, doesn't phase him. He's seen scarier. He's done scarier. Try again.

But you know what has been actually proven to scare the Joker? The IRS. So imagine this man's utter horror when one day an IRS agent just appears in his hideout and lets him know that he still owes them money. The agent gives him a deadline to pay his remaining taxes then leaves.

Joker immediately starts scrambling. He needs to come up with this money fast. No way he's making an enemy out of the IRS. But before that, Johnny? Find my accountant and give him the most painfully funny death you can think of.

For the next few days, Joker is running around, trying to collect the remaining money that he owes but he still doesn't have enough. As the IRS agent so helpfully reminds him every time he shows up.

On the day of the deadline Joker is still just short of what he owes so he pulls out his trump card. Begging.

That's how Batman finds one deranged clown killer on his hands and knees begging for a loan or at the very least some protection and he is utterly confused. It's at that moment when a young man appears out of nowhere.

"I'm sorry. It looks like you still haven't paid all of your taxes," he says in a frighteningly cheerful voice before he grabs the Joker by his collar and drags him into the shadows.

I think about British Airways Flight 5390 a lot

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.