“To Try To Not Be More Interesting But Be More Interested” Literally Changed My Life Perspective

when anaïs nin said “i want to be able to trust, not live in perpetual self-defense.”

Macy’s To-Do List.

Lighten my hair down to champagne blonde. 

Install my 22 inch custom hair extensions. 

Get up to 2.5mL of lip filler, currently at 1.5mL. 

Start wearing my boob job recovery bra again. 

Lose 20 pounds and focus on doing pilates. 

Find a good fake tan color for the summer. 

Start doing my lashes, nails, and brows weekly. 

Switch over from glasses to contact lenses. 

Biweekly facials and lymphatic drainage massages. 

Sauna and steam room to start off each day. 

Invest in higher end clothes and quality makeup. 

Do a big throw out of everything I’ve outgrown. 

Finish up by 9-1-2025

A lot of people don’t have their own personality or ideas. Just a mix of whatever’s trending, whatever their favorite influencer says, and whatever gets the most likes. No depth, no critical thinking—just an echo of the internet.

War is over. Woke up to 10 different emails. 5 waitlist notifications and 5 financial aid offers from 5 schools.

I’m sitting in my hairstylist’s chair for 6 hours today, so I’m shopping and designing my new place on my iPad. I’m moving to university and rushing this autumn, so I’m in the process of choosing what I’ll wear for each day. I don’t have a budget, and I like to shop, but the issue is I’m always out or otherwise busy with something more pressing than shopping, so it’s nice to sit with foils in my hair and focus on pulling everything together. This is much better than the Peking Duck and Diet Coke rest we do when I have a long appointment.

Say it with me: I owe it to myself to see how good it can get.

You need a man that’s insanely obsessed with you (:

I prefer someone devoted and emotionally regulated…obsession fades, but consistency doesn’t.

I’m busy crafting an image befitting of the woman I’d like to be and the lifestyle I’d like to live in the future.