The Bride And The Ugly Ass Groom

Things I've said and done as Percy Jackson characters

Percy Jackson- I'm sarcastic and hot what more could you ask for?

Annabeth Chase- Why are people so threatened when I'm holding a knife? As long as you don't upset me you won't get stabbed

Jason Grace- *internal screaming while keeping a straight face*

Piper Mclean- Don't underestimate me I could stab all you bitches

Leo Valdez- *doing the peace sign every two seconds*

Hazel Levesque- I may seem like a total sweetheart but I could kick your ass easily

Frank Zhang- *a really realistic impression of a goat*

Nico Di Angelo- *angry yelling and cursing in italian*

Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano- I'm trying to be a civil person right now but I want to punch you in the face so bad

Will Solace- I don't understand how y'all survive day to day life considering the stupid shit y'all do

Rachel Elizabeth Dare- This situation simply does not pass the vibe check

Sally: Nico I'm sorry to say this but I'm afraid you can no longer babysit Estelle

Nico: What why??

Sally: The other day when her Baby Alive said that it needed to be fed again she exclaimed, "YOU GOTTA BE BULLFUCKING ME" and I asked her where she heard that language from only to learn that you'd been teaching her how to combine cuss words-

Nico:

Nico: You gotta be bullfucking me-

Percy: Preparing for battle is simple

Percy: You just don't

Percy: Any questions?

All of the first year campers: *raising hands*

Percy 🤝 Reyna 🤝 Hazel

-Being a horse girl

I actually have a screenshot of me saying this. Planning to show it once the friend actually finishes it

My friend, watching Hannibal for the first time(on season 2): so does Hannibal just end on a cliffhanger?

Me: …you could say that

angels don’t dance but they can fucking shred a hoverboard

I made a diagram

Therapist: Let’s focus on the positive. What are your most useful talents?

Grover: I can screech super loud

Nico: I can command a bunch of skeletons follow me around, and they are great company

Percy: I can get fish to let me gossip about people I don’t like

Frank: I can turn INTO those fish that listen to Percy gossip

Hazel: I can move mountains - literally

Piper: I can convince billionaires to give me all of their money in less than twelve seconds

Jason: I can speak to wolves - which is great and all, until they say things you REALLY don’t want to hear

Reyna: I can kill someone just by looking at them

Thalia: So can I

Annabeth: Same here

Leo: I can probably walk on the sun

Will: I practically AM the sun

Therapist:

Therapist: I’m beginning to understand why all of you are here-

Percy: Preparing for battle is simple

Percy: You just don’t

Percy: Any questions?

All of the first year campers: *raising hands*

Teacher: Your son said a swear word in class today.

Will: Oh did he? That's unacceptable.

Will, turning to his kid:

Will:

Will: what the fuck, lil dude?