I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!

so a few months ago a surfer surfed the biggest wave ever surfed

and it was awesome and broke a world record and it was widely ignored for the most outrageous reason:  

Because the surfer was a woman, the wave height was measured by a different set of scientific equations

when growing up me and my dad and my brother played a game at Home Depot called “Don’t let me see you while I shop.” The rules were that I had to follow my dad around the huge Home Depot but be out of sight the whole time. This game was extremely fun for me for some reason (we also called it the “Super Spy game”) and extremely useful for my dad.

Anyway, later on I realized I could just wonder off and not necessarily follow him around and still win. This is the story of how I used to go directly into the Home Depot lights section and just immediately dissociate like I entered a fairy wonder land for hours on end.

In short:

me: 

childhood truly is a special time.

Rami Malek's identical twin Sami dresses up as a cowboy to protest during the teachers strike in LA

i just got a 105 min ad?? on youtube??

Imagine hating homeless people so much u find ways to make their lives shittier instead of providing them with the resources they need

My mom said that today in church her pastor said in the sermon that Jesus told us to help the poor, and taking money away from public schools to give to charter schools only widens the gap between the rich and the poor.  She then added that Jesus spoke against adultery and lust and would not have approved of bragging about sexually assaulting women.  According to my mom, people got up and walked out.

The pastor also started the sermon by noting that she’d heard of another minister who read the entirety of the Sermon on the Mount at the pulpit, to be told by the so-called Christian parishioners after the service that it was offensive and they didn’t agree.

The Sermon on the Mount is straight up the words of Jesus.

I made ramen today

Taking place in England the owners of the yard slowly kept adding sections to the contraption so when the squirrel learned one section and got the nuts, they’d add another section. It took over 2 weeks to get to the final product you see in the video.

We imagine mutations to be a little bewildering to chromosomes…

“you can’t make a lawful good character interesting and enjoyable”: