Cooking With BMO.

sense of humor: celebrities tweeting nonsensical phrases and/or straight up keysmashes

Flipping Guardian Trick-Shot

Things I like about this decal on a restaurant window: -the insane orange waiter -that he’s carrying his plates in the air like a strongman -the couple looks like this isn’t the first time he’s done this, but it’s easier to just let it happen at this point. -the sign says PASTA as if he’s screaming it like a frankenstein -but he’s holding a plate of an entire chicken and a plate of wine glasses -there’s three wine glasses -one’s for him.

CAUSE EVERY TIME WE TOUCH I GET THIS FEELING

EVERY TIME WE KISS I SWEAR I COULD FLY

CAN’T U FEEL MY HEART BEAT FAST, I WANT THIS TO LAST

NEED YOU BY MY SIDE

Since once in a blue moon I actually discover a decent rule for adulting, and since I know I have followers a few years younger than me who are just entering the workforce, I want to tell you about a very important phrase. 

“I won’t be available.”

Imagine you’re at work and your boss asks you to come in on Saturday. Saturday is usually your day off–coming in Saturdays is not an obligation to keep your job. Maybe you were going to watch a movie with a friend, or maybe you were just going to lie in bed and eat ice cream for eight hours, but either way you really, really don’t want to give up your day off.

If you consider yourself a millennial you’ve probably been raised to believe you need to justify not being constantly at work. And if you’re a gen-Z kid you’re likely getting the same toxic messages that we did. So in a situation like that, you might be inclined to do one of three things:

Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Cave when they pressure you to come in anyway, since you’re not doing anything important.

Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Over-apologize and worry that you looked bad/unprofessional.

Lie and say you’ve got a doctor’s appointment or some other activity that feels like an adequate justification for not working.

The fact is, it doesn’t matter to your boss whether you’re having open heart surgery or watching anime in your underwear on Saturday. The only thing that affects them is the fact that you won’t be at work. So telling them why you won’t be at work only gives them reason to try and pressure you to come in anyway.

If you say “I won’t be available,” giving no further information, you’d be surprised how often that’s enough. Be polite and sympathetic in your tone, maybe even say “sorry, but I won’t be available.” But don’t make an excuse. If your boss is a professional individual, they’ll accept that as a ‘no’ and try to find someone else. 

But bosses aren’t always professional. Sometimes they’re whiny little tyrants. So, what if they pressure you further? The answer is–politely and sympathetically give them no further information.

“Are you sure you’re not available?” “Sorry, but yes.”

“Why won’t you be available?” “I have a prior commitment.” (Which you do, even if it’s only to yourself.)

“What’s your prior commitment?” “Sorry, but that’s kind of personal.”

“Can you reschedule it?” “I’m afraid not. Maybe someone else can come in?”

If you don’t give them anything to work with, they can’t pressure you into going beyond your obligations as an employee. And when they realize that, they’ll also realize they have to find someone else to come in and move on.

Words cannot express how ready I am for ragweed season to be over.

Also, reminder, if you have allergies and or asthma, we are entering into Peak Weak when ragweed, plant from hell that it is, will be going into peak pollen season, and also viruses are on the rise as flu and the common cold viruses start to emerge.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/jeannecroteau/2019/09/16/its-asthma-peak-week–heres-how-to-get-ready/#41484caf7d0f

Some helpful advice from the above article if you are prone to allergies, have asthma, are immunocompromised or know someone who is:

Take off your shoes and change into indoor clothing when you enter your home

Keep doors and windows closed during peak allergen season

Use an air filter that is certified asthma and allergy-friendly (HEPA works best)

Shower before going to bed

Seriously, that last one? You don’t realize how much pollen you carry with you into your home, and if you don’t shower it goes into your bedsheets, a place that should be a haven for you. (And then you have to wash your bedding more than you really want to and it’s just a whole ordeal.)

I know not all of us have the energy or capability to shower every day, but if you are the spouse, friend or loved one of someone who is immunocompromised in any way, please be aware of what you are bringing into the home during this season. Vulnerable people can die during Peak Weak, it’s like the perfect storm of illness and allergic reaction bullshit. We’re also starting to see early cases of flu, so if you are able to do so, please get vaccinated before the flu season fully hits. You’ll be doing yourself a favor and those around you who rely on herd immunity to not get sick.

Also a reminder to fellow vogmask users! If you’ve had your vogmask in use for over 6 months, now is the time to replace it! Vogmasks are also not ideal for protecting you against cold and flu season, they can help, but given the unwashable nature of the vogmask (due to the filter) they can actually begin to harbor bacteria, so while they are great for pollution and pollen, not so great for flu! If you do need to wear a face mask during winter, swap for something that can be washed/sterilized at high temperatures, or switch to throw-away paper masks which can be worn once and then discarded. Never re-use a paper mask, and always be sure to wash your hands thoroughly after swapping them out.

You can read more about different types of masks and their effectiveness against cold and flu here:

https://www.healthline.com/health/cold-flu/mask#2

Stay safe out there!

I’m going back to bed and hopefully, when I wake up tomorrow I won’t still be one giant hive.

Can you hear me sobbing