Except The Fact That I'm In School

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this is the best gift that anyone could have gotten me

Laptops are always so much more Fucked than phones in my experience. A laptop is like a beautiful horse that wants nothing more than to break all of its legs. A decently solid android phone will act normal

Jesus: You will deny me 3 times

Peter: I would never

*Jesus is arrested 5 seconds later*

Bystander: Isn’t that your friend?

Peter:

y’all know that john mulaney quote “the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?”

every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen

THE GREATEST SAGA OF OUR TIME

i fORGOT MY LAPTOP WAS HOOKED UP TO THE STEREO SYSTEM SO THIS JUST PLAYED IN EVERY ROOM OF MY HOUSE OH MY GOD

i almost cried when i saw this for the first time