There’s Just Some Fics... They Never Leave U Bro. I’ll Be Sitting On The Toilet Four Years Later

Nikolai: "Hello, my name is Nikolai Lantsov. You killed my boyfriend. Prepare to die!"

Aleksander: "But you don't have all the facts!"

Nikolai: "Which are?"

Aleksander: "I'm hot and I have a point!"

Nikolai, skeptically: "... continue..."

~

after the Darkling explains his plans for Ravka:

ghost!Dominik: "Remind me again, why we faught AGAINST this guy?"

~

Some time later:

Aleksander: "Ah yes. Me. My husband. And the ghost of his boyfriend, whose death I've indirectly caused before we've even met properly..."

“Something caught your eye, Sasha?”

Словами не передать как сильно на меня повлияла эта история, как много она для меня значит

history was made

(from "alliance of enemies" fic by @storm-elf )

thanks to @vorbarrsultana i can't stop thinking about modern lantsovs&morozovas meetings, shared meals etc etc.........lord that'd be hilarious. ulla would call lantsovs inbred and baghra would smile so tightly at tatiana her face turns into a raisin. milf on mils (mother id like to slap) violence. their suuuuch different aesthetics too. peacock vs raven. succession meets the addams family (quote by varya). twitter vs instagram. illegal blonde vs jennifers body. at some point aleksander tries to poison himself because it becomes too embarrassing. lord

Sasha is trying to exchange husband for a daughter

i'm in darknikolina mood, so HEADCANONS TIME.

let's say pre-canon!darkolai happened at some point, and darklina obviously was a thing during the trilogy, and then nikolina got married because it's the ending we deserve. as a royal couple, they're expected to have kids at some point, and eventually they have a daughter. both, tsar and tsaritsa, have a lot of complicated personal and political feelings about a certain shadow summoner, but they name her sasha anyway. it silenced a lot of gossipers: they assumed the tsarevna was named after her unlamented grandfather, tsar aleksander.

(in truth, grand duchess aleksandra nikolaevna was named after the darkling, lamented by many.)

but then liza & co ressurect aleksander. and he learns that now there is a lantsov girl named aleksandra, who is in equal parts alina and nikolai, his most beloved people. and she possesses alina's beautiful dark eyes, and nikolai's golden locks, and alina's dimple, and kolya's sunny smile. and the girl is also a grisha (a little alkemi, because they deserve representation) - the grand duchess (aged three) did accidentally turn the darkling's brandy into water during their first meeting.

so, of course little sasha has big sasha wrapped around her tiny fingers in no time. all the tsarevna has to do is ask. and the scary, powerful, terrifying darkling would do it. like, once sasha said she would like to have an octopus as a pet, and aleksander immediatelly was like: "ulla, ULLA. get me the prettiest octopus in all three oceans of this world for baby sasha, please. you're her aunt too, by the way."

(aleksander: ugh, i hate the lantsovs, they're the worst. someone: but, your excellency, you are cuddling the tsarevna right now? aleksander, clutching sasha even harder to his chest: i said what i said.)

nikolai and alina are no help because they are aleksandra nikolaevna's loyal slaves too. as are aunt genya and uncle david. so, actual disciplining has to be done by aunt zoya, who is the only one immune to tsarevna's pleading eyes.

(aunt zoya is also little sasha's first girl crush, and she tells everyone that when she grows up she's gonna be general nazyalensky, and break hearts of boys and girls too.)

(alina is mentally preparing for the day sasha will have suitors because darkolai would try to decapitate anyone daring enough to ask their little girl out.)

and they live happily ever after, the end.

AU: The Darkling got the throne and captured Nikolai. After a while they realize their goals are the same and start to co-operate. To avoid attempts to overthrow Aleksander and install Nikolai, they fake Kolya's death and reclaim his rogue identity...

courtier: "Moi tsarevich?"

Nikolai: "Oh no, I'm Sturmhond, the famous privateer."

courtier: "Apologies, but you look just like late tsarevich Nikolai."

Nikolai: "Yeah, I get that a lot, but I'm ginger and much better looking, if we believe the Black Tsar himself."

courtier: "Well, certainly, I can see that now. Sturmhond, you said?"

Nikolai: "Please, call me Kolya."

courtier: "!!!"

~

courtier: "The likness, even your name... It's certainly curious, isn't it?"

Nikolai: "Oh please... half of the sailors is named after Saint Nikolai... Makes for riotous meetings and quite a challenge to command a crew."

~

courtier, sneakily: "Some might even want you to become the King..."

Nikolai: "Well, that can be arranged..."

Nikolai: *chatches Aleksander's eye across whole room*

Nikolai: *licks his lips seductively*

Nikolai: *winks*

room: *suddenly darkens a little*

all I did, I did for Ravka. all I did, I did for You.

“of monsters and men” trilogy by @esssteee

My favourite sound. Is this a sign?

— me and the devil

Как же я люблю раты этого художника

anyway here’s this thing!! (again)

The Darkling vs Sturmhond