Incorrect Quotes: The Sides As Things My Dad Has Said

Incorrect Quotes: The Sides As Things My Dad Has Said

(I wrote down who actually said the quote if it wasn't him)

(Yeah, you fell off the wagon.)

Remus: "Fell off the wagon? I dragged that wagon into the woods and burned it."

Janus: "I should go get some cheese do go into all the whine in here."

(Where'd you hear that?)

Janus: "Like every movie ever."

Remus: "You just sprinkle some lime over it— lime could cover the scent of a dead body."

Logan (my brother): "And lye could dissolve it."

Virgil: "I love it up here. Like, here is like where you can sprinkle my ashes."

Roman: "(County)? I– That's where I go hunting for antelope. There's like six people and four skunks that live there."

Janus: "He was talking to the chairman of the committee of bullshit."

Patton: "A platypus looks like a beaver ran into a duck."

Roman: "Oh yeah— Do I still need to impress you?"

Virgil (my mother): "Every day until we die."

Remus: "Even a blind pig finds an acorn in its shit every once in a while."

Patton, completely unprompted: "You ever seen a pig in a french fry hat?"

Janus: "Milford, Nebraska: Where the men are men and sometimes the women are too."

Patton, severely allergic to bees (my mother): "Ah! Close it! There are bees in it!"

Remus, holding jar of honey: "It's fresh!"

More Posts from Matt-w-blogging and Others

3 years ago

Remus. Oh my god.

Janus. What?

Remus. It's a fucking dead bird.

Janus. What? Oh, that's an omen, or something.

Patton. Why is there a dead bird in here?

Logan. There was probably a live bird in here and then something happened that made it dead.

Remus. Oh. Great analysis, doc. Oh Jesus, it's all rotted and it's eyes are gone, this is horrifying.

Logan. Well, its eyes aren't gonna stick around.


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4 years ago

People really out here saying 'women can't be superheros (or in positions of power at all) because they're too emotional' and ignoring that Captain America: Civil War is all about two grown men starting a fight and splitting their team in two because they couldn't talk it out like civilized adults


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3 years ago
(The Boy And Scissors In Question)

(The boy and scissors in question)

Alternative to 'Working Through Intrusive Thoughts' Episode (no spoilers)

Janus: *sewing peacefully*

Janus: *cuts thread*

Remus: Y'know, those scissors are really sharp. You could poke them in your eye right now. Not even too hard, just cut your lenses. Do you think that would bleed? What would your vision look like? Would it leave a scar or make your eye look weird and blob-like? Or would it be foggy?

Janus, handing him a beanbag frog: This is for you.

Remus:

:0

Remus, squishing it: He,,, he bean,,, he sound like bean,,,

(Episode end.)

4 years ago

Hey since science side of tumblr explained this can I get science side of tumblr to explain my vision

So I made this:

Hey Since Science Side Of Tumblr Explained This Can I Get Science Side Of Tumblr To Explain My Vision

So like if I shut one of my eyes I see everything either in cooler or warmer colors and this is my best approximation, it's weird as hell and nobody can explain it to me (but I mean I haven't gone to a vision-color-eye-expert-person) and I'm not colorblind or anything I've checked

So science side of tumblr help please?

The human memory is so weird.

Example: every single time I smell a bar of dove soap, I think of this one kid I used to go to school with. Now, I can't tell you his age. I can't tell you his favorite color. I can hardly tell you his first name.

But I remember that he always smelled like dove soap.

No matter what. It's like he carried dove soap around in his pockets. Just plain old dove white soap. And it was so strong but not overpowering— like, it wasn't a dove deodorant or something, it was like straight-up smelling a bar of dove soap whenever you were near him.

So now every time I smell dove soap he pops into my mind.

Why?

I can hardly remember my tumblr password sometimes, I forgot my own age a bit ago and had to use a calculator to figure it out. But no matter what, I remember this kid from fifth grade always smelled like dove soap.

Science side of tumblr please explain


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4 years ago

That actually makes a lot of sense, thank you science side of tumblr I learned something new today

The human memory is so weird.

Example: every single time I smell a bar of dove soap, I think of this one kid I used to go to school with. Now, I can't tell you his age. I can't tell you his favorite color. I can hardly tell you his first name.

But I remember that he always smelled like dove soap.

No matter what. It's like he carried dove soap around in his pockets. Just plain old dove white soap. And it was so strong but not overpowering— like, it wasn't a dove deodorant or something, it was like straight-up smelling a bar of dove soap whenever you were near him.

So now every time I smell dove soap he pops into my mind.

Why?

I can hardly remember my tumblr password sometimes, I forgot my own age a bit ago and had to use a calculator to figure it out. But no matter what, I remember this kid from fifth grade always smelled like dove soap.

Science side of tumblr please explain


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11 months ago

Breaking News: World-Class Soft Pretzel Maker Invents New Solution To Dip Pretzels In Before Baking

The baker is quoted as saying the usual baking-soda-and-water method was "too basic for [their] taste"


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3 years ago

I really really really wanna spam tiktok yelling UNBAN THEM but I know that'd do more harm than good so I'm waiting like a polite person for them to respond to the message I sent in

Tiktok fucking banned one of my favorite sander sides cosplayers (and accounts in general) and this WILL NOT FUCKING STAND

I stg if they don't unban them I'm deleting my account

3 years ago

Roman, starting Daydream Mode: Thomas may I please have full creative control? Pretty-please? I'll help you come up with the best idea ever! *flutters eyelashes*

Remus, starting Nightmare Mode: BEDTIME BITCH *knocks out Roman* ITS TIME TO MENTALLY SCAR THOMAS

'Daydream Mode' is when Roman has full creative control, right? So I'm just imagining like:

Remus, ranting to Janus: —as long as their beak fits through, the entire rest of them, because that's the only solid part, can squish through—

Remus: *suddenly collapses without warning*

Janus, flipping the page of his book unconcernedly: Someone must have turned on Daydream mode.

3 years ago

Y'all ever read a really good fic and lie on your bed making that squeal/whine noise in the back of your throat hugging a pillow while tears in the corners of your eyes dry because oh god it was so good and

ehnneeennhheennneee


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He/they (both equally good)I love asks, requests, general interaction, and stuff like that!Mostly various fandom stuff, I'm just having a good time and enjoying myselfI hope I can make you smile :)

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