Dazai: Would you slap your crush's face for 2 million dollars?
Chuuya: I would roundhouse kick you in the face for free.
Dazai: Savag-
Dazai: Wait...
Dazai: WAIT-
Chuuya, panicking: fgqhcwgnaklud-
*how Dazai overcame his fear of dogs*
ada Dazai: They say that the phobias are overcomed by taking incremental steps to confronting the phobia in question.
ada Dazai: In my case, that started with watching a tv show that was adored by all children but for me was a staff of nightmares.
*flashback*
15!Dazai: *watches Scooby Doo*
*end of flashback*
ada Dazai: The next step was to come face to face with real dogs.
*flashback*
15!Dazai outside a pet shop, looking at 5 adorable puppies: Ok that's enough. *runs away scared*
*end of flashback*
ada Dazai: AND finally, a close encounter of the third kind; physicall contact with the canine spices.
ada Dazai: *points at Chuuya*
Dazai: I need a top.
Ranpo: Chuuya is in the pm, but Atsushi can go get him for you.
Dazai, blushing: I meant for this food container!
Yosano: Ok, bottom...
Dazai: Yosano, please.
Yosano: ...drawer.
Dazai: Chuuya is mad at me and I don’t even know why.
Odasaku: Were you talking before he got mad?
Dazai: Yeah.
Odasaku: That’s probably why.
*Dazai and Chuuya get captured and are tied together*
Dazai: Chill out slug. It's not like you've never been tied up before.
Chuuya, talking really fast: Sure. But there weren't involved a psycho and a piece of shit.
Dazai: Am I... Okay, Am I the the psycho or the piece of shit?
Chuuya: Both.
Dazai: Hi, I’m bi. I’m attracted to women because they are incredible and I’m attracted to men because I love making bad choices.
Dazai: I’m an excellent driver.
Chuuya: You almost ran over a woman by accident.
Dazai, remembering how that woman smiled at Chuuya flirtatious: Ah yes… by accident… yes.
Dazai, about Chuuya: Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, you want to get fucked by a short ginger.
Ango: 🤦♂️
Odasaku: Please stop talking.
Mori: What do you do when someone offers you drugs?
Dazai: Take them!
Chuuya: Punch them in the neck!
Tachihara: Say thank you!
Akutagawa: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!
Mori:
Mori: No.
Dazai: I love you 🥰.
Chuuya: Why should I believe you? All the guys I've dated were dogs.
Dazai:
Chuuya: Well, aren't you gonna say anything?
Dazai:
Dazai: Meow...
Chuuya: Isn't the idea supposed to be "you saved my life, now I owe you a debt?" Dazai: Nope. Other way round. You saved my life, so now I'm your problem. If you don't like it, then kill me. Dazai: God wanted me dead, now you get to find out why.