Leeisallyouneed - Finding Peace

Distance

Initially or maybe still, I like space, for me to do me and for others to do them.

But space isn’t disconnect, is it? Maybe it’s the distance?

No it’s not that, it’s the lines drawn, that’s the distance

I feel distant from you lately, when I think of you sometimes, there is a little “O” in my head

Like you are still somehow, kinda in my life, but with a question mark

Maybe it’s just takes sometime, maybe we can close the distance and get back

Or maybe this is it

Slow down, it's ok. Very few things in life are absolute

Deadlines can be flexible, career paths are flexible, relationships become close and far and close again, it's all going to be ok

How do you decide what’s best for you?

I’m not sure if I can answer that question, I think it starts with asking yourself the hard questions.

Are you happy?

Will you be happy?

Does this make you happy?

Is this what you really want or is it what I think I should want?

To The Person Who Walked Past The Window - Jordan Bolton

My first book ‘Blue Sky Through the Window of a Moving Car’ is now available to pre-order! Get it here - https://smarturl.it/BlueSky

Being there for someone who is struggling is exhausting, the ups and downs and constant cycle of presence and absence can be overwhelming

So here’s a poem

My heart beats rhythmically when the skies of your mind are clear, I can see your laughter light up your eyes with a slight twinkle of mischief in them, I recognize you I think to myself you are right here

But without warning the skies darken, it creeps up on you like spring comes after winter, it’s been brewing underneath, under that thick hearty smile, under the jokes and the occasional glances

As I watch you sink, struggling to breathe, I reach out my hand but it misses yours and I know then that all I can do is wait in your line of sight so you see that I am the light at the end of your tunnel but my heart beats like a horse racing for it’s life as I am screaming at the top of my lungs “breatheeeeee”

Into the well

This might be an unpopular opinion but:

I'd rather start the romance all over again

I'd rather fix the problems

I‘d rather work on the triggers

I'd rather find out what went wrong

I‘d rather go through the hardships

I'd rather go through more fights and arguments

I'd rather go on more dates

I'd rather work on winning you over a million times

Than to start all over again with someone that won't be the same

On the floor of my room, curled up as far as my hips will allow, wondering if in a years time I would be in a different place were everything worked out, were everything came together so beautifully, so when I look back in my minds eye and I see my self on the floor of my room, trying to hold it all together, I might in that moment think of this moment as resilience