🛑MAKE A GOOD MEMORY, IF YOU IGNORE MY WORDS, YOU WILL KILL MY FAMILY

i guess i do get pretty feral over bloodywood too. listen to dana dan right fucking now

Hm, I was pondering about the recent-ish trope of Adventuring Guilds (effectively trade unions for protagonists in fantasy rpg-inspired settings, which I’m sure I’ve seen in a bunch of things but the main example that springs to mind is Goblin Slayer to my annoyance but the Hero Association in One Punch Man has a similar albeit superhero-slanted deal), and how mechanically in the setting they exist to ensure x reward is provided for x amount of work/danger involved but in a meta sense are there so the characters don’t have to go looking for heroing gigs on ye olde Craigs Lyst or something.

It’s an interesting idea, similar in a manner to the many fantasy trope-tinged guilds in the Discworld novels of the late great Terry Pratchett, although an amusing idea occurred to me with the idea of trade unions for fantasy heroes.

Like, if there are unions to ensure employment and fair pay for folks clearing out dungeons, getting gnolls out the cabbage patch, stopping gnomes from going through your bins, and so on, then, logically, there much exist fantasy hero scab workers as well.

Folks that the local king or something brings in for lower pay on more dangerous jobs. Folks who are, say, completely new to the setting, out of their depth, and are thrust into a dangerous situation by a seemingly benevolent authority figure because said authority figure is too cheap to hire someone who understands the risks involved and asks more suitable wages for the role…

Y’know…

iliad tumblr simulator

🦉 ithacasfavguy Follow

boss is asleep. currently on a quest to steal some wine

🦉 ithacasfavguy Follow

stop reblogging this i'm gonna get caught you fuckers

#/srs

(729 notes)

🌻 achilles Follow

hahaha it would be so funny if i got so deathly drunk my hot doctor boyfriend had to escort me to the infirmary and pin me down so i dont end up stabbing someone and holding me by the hair to force my chin up and make me drink medicine hahahahaha

#please #pleaseee #i am so gay rn

(2,486 notes)

🚬 menelaghh Follow

i miss my wife

(215 notes)

🦢 helen Follow

currently having the time of my life. everything is great. except my new husband. i hope he dies

#captive princess life

(8,632 notes)

🐌 patrokloss Follow

never thought id have to say this but please do not try to make homemade wine with random shit you find on the woods ?? a guy just died

#psa #medicine

(371 notes)

👤 hektoroftroy Follow

guys im gonna be honest the worst thing to ever happen in my life was my brother coming back

🐭 parisbutitsnotfrance Follow

:((

👤 hektoroftroy Follow

you are literally on my DNI. this is your fifth account. please go away

(420 notes)

💪 jaxajax Follow

why are all the animals coughing to death?

#is this normal #vets of tumblr answer me

(13 notes)

🦦 die-a-medes Follow

these trojans ain't shit 😂😂😂 we'll be winning this easy fr

🦦 die-a-medes Follow

girl help it's been ten years

(824 notes)

👁 cassssandra Follow

being haunted by visions can be very fun actually

#therapist told me to be positive #trying

(5 notes)

🐭 parisbutitsnotfrance Follow

hello

🐭 parisbutitsnotfrance Follow

stop telling me to kill myself???

(8,753 notes)

🌻 achilles Follow

i hope you nerds name men on men attraction after me when i die

#if this doesnt happen then what is the point

(10,942 notes)

The idea of dragons in modern times is so fun because imagine a hot summer day on your vacay and go to use the hotel pool and staff is like "valued guests we regret to inform you that the pool area is out of service at the moment, we apologize for the inconvenience"

And people like "wtf why" looking out their hotel room window and there's this. This dragon just curled up in the pool chilling, literally, cooling itself down

Some of the staff are trying to gently shoo him away and the dragon does a soft little "rrrrrr" like a grumpy cat and a warning puff of smoke and they're like "fuck it i don't get paid nearly enough for this" and no ones using the pool today sorry!

I define a chair as any object that is used to sit on

A big stone? I sit on it, thus it becomes a chair

A stack of wood palets? Let me move my ass and turn that shit into a chair

But wait

Now i moved to sit on a slightly lower stack of palets next to it, which becomes a chair

And i lay my food on the slightly higher stack of pallets; now i use it as a table, it has become a table and is not a chair anymore

But a chair is usually a seat for a single person, so if you sit next to me on the stack of palets, it becomes a bench.

Although a bench is made for sitting, so if we lay back on the pallets after our meal, it becomes .... a bed??

i think that all the people who argue about gender by saying "the woke left cant even define a woman" need to get hit with the "who are you" question by a buddhist monk. no, thats your name, who are you. no thats your profession, who are YOU. no you fucking idiot thats your species, who are YOUU. dumb bitch u cant even define yourself

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CUTE BOY FROM CLASS WHO IS GROWING HIS HAIR OUT AND WEARING A HOODIE: thanks for helping me with my homework! hey um... is it okay if I tell you something important? you have to promise to keep it a secret....

SKELETON BALLING:

laurae, a small Native farmer who built up her farm over the last five years, was served a 90-day eviction notice despite being promised by the landowner that she would be given a purchase agreement and the farm would never be sold to another person. Everything she has is in this farm - she’s put thousands of hours of work into it, built her cabin by hand, and invested every penny she’s made back into it. we are fighting to help her get the money to purchase her land before someone else buys it and kicks her - and us, her tenants who had no access to land without her help - off.

she ships her jams & honey, which you can buy here

you can also donate directly to the gofundme here

I know we’re all hurting right now and the world is fucked. but I love laurae and she’s done so much for all the people in her life. She has nowhere to go, no other options for a home, and no means to start over. she is a veteran, a survivor of multiple cancers, and close to fifty. all she wants is to live out her days on her farm till she hands it off to the next generation of farmers and I don’t want to see that simple thing taken away from her.