Agent Dominique Lollypop DiPierro

adhd is having super amplified introspection yet zero self-awareness or decision making skills. i literally never stop overthinking absolutely everything but if you ask me how i am? i dont know. am i enjoying myself? i dont know. my opinion? i dont know. my favorite? i dont know. am i lying? i dont know. do i want this? i dont know. trust my gut feeling? it changes every second. which of these is better? i cant breathe. just pick one? eating glass would hurt less

w e l c o m e, to the honey bee inn

We’ll always be a part of Elliot Alderson. And we’ll be the best part, because we’re the part that always showed up. We’re the part that stayed. We’re the part that changed him. 

And who wouldn’t be proud of that?

My father picked me up from school one day and we played hooky and went to the beach. It was too cold to go in the water, so we sat on a blanket and ate pizza. When I got home, my sneakers were full of sand, and I dumped it on my bedroom floor. I didn’t know the difference. I was six. My mother screamed at me for the mess, but he wasn’t mad. He said that billions of years ago, the world shifting and the oceans moving brought that sand to that spot on the beach, and then I took it away. “Every day,” he said, “we change the world,” which is a nice thought until I think about how many days and lifetimes I would need to bring a shoe full of sand home until there is no beach, until it made a difference to anyone. Every day we change the world, but to change the world in a way that means anything- that takes more time than most people have. It never happens all at once. It’s slow. It’s methodical. It’s exhausting. We don’t all have the stomach for it.

– Mr. Robot 1x05, ‘eps1.4_3xpl0its.wmv’

Say that you’ll never, never, never, need it One headline, why believe it? Everybody wants to rule the world

What Am I?

“I feel [thoughts, feelings]. What am I?”

We can’t answer that. The only person who can…is you. However, we are able to suggest terms you may identify with and encourage you at every turn.

genders / more genders / neurogenders / questioning / sexualities / non-binary sexualities / mlm, wlw, nblnb, etc

Here’s a few mod’s answers on what gender feels like for them. This is a free Virtual Gender Identity Support Group you could join! And this link has some resources: I Think I Might Be Trans: 8 Important Notes On Questioning

We also have tags for different genders (such as /tagged/bigender) if you want more info. Go to your browser like Chrome or Safari and type https://transgenderteensurvivalguide.tumblr.com/tagged/insertidenity if you can’t search the blog on your mobile app! If you have any further questions, feel free to ask us!

“I didn’t suspect I am trans until I was [x age], so am I still valid?

Yes! Not everyone realizes they’re trans in childhood, and that’s totally okay. Some people realize as children, some people realize during puberty, some people realize in high school, some people realize as adults, and it’s all valid. Even our mods had different ages of discovery (When did you know you were trans?) and that’s totally normal!

Here are a few basic steps to get you started on your journey:

Daydreaming. Think of the future; maybe you have the perfect occupation, or children, or life partner(s), or all three? Or perhaps you’re supreme dictator of Earth? No matter where you are, what do you look like? A man, a woman, someone in between, both, neither, etc.? The image you have in mind could be indicative of who you feel you are, or who you want to be.

Stating your gender. Look in the mirror. State, “I am a boy/girl/etc.,” or, “I am not [assigned gender].” Does it feel right? Does it feel comfortable? This could be indicative of who you feel you are, or who you want to be! 

Being called your chosen name/pronouns. (Please note that you do not have to change your name or pronouns to be transgender.) Think of a close friend who you trust and feel would support and respect you during this time. Say to them, “I am questioning my gender and I would like you to call me (insert name here) and use (insert pronouns here) for me when other people aren’t around.” A good friend will agree. If it feels right for them to call you your chosen name, that could be an indicator. It will feel weird at first to have your friend call you your chosen name, but you’ll get comfortable with it if it is right. The same goes for your gender pronouns!

These three websites will help you practice pronouns!

http://www.practicewithpronouns.com (TW for some disturbing sentences, they’re modeled after the Welcome to Nightvale podcast)

https://minus18.org.au/pronouns-app/

http://www.pronouns.failedslacker.com/

Experiment. For people or beings who think they may be transmasculine, you could pack with a sock, purchase a chest binder, dress in “masculine” clothing, or talk to masc-identified people or beings! For people or beings who think they may be transfeminine, you can try on makeup, dress in “feminine” clothing, or talk to femme-identified people or beings!

Research. If you don’t know much about being transgender, look here. Look into surgeries and hormones, if this is something that interests you! (Please note that you do not have to get surgery or go on hormones to be transgender.) Check out videos on YouTube, talk to people who are on hormones or have had the surgeries, or check out our trans-masculine resources or our trans-feminine resources

Still confused? Try this.

Good luck!

#me watching mr robot

You’ve brought up the issue before, this issue of not feeling like you’re in control. Do you remember? When we spoke about your father. You talked about how he chose to do nothing when he was battling his cancer. You told him he could have fought the company that caused it. He could have told people about it. He could have sought better care than what he was getting. Instead, he did nothing. Maybe your father felt the same way as you do now. After all, like you said, what’s the point?

It’s different.

What’s different is you’ve found options, Elliot. That’s the power you have. That’s the control you own. You don’t have to just take what life gives you.

2B drawing for NieR: Automata 3rd anniversary today! twitter.com/anonamos_701 patreon.com/advarcher

Elliot’s journey of mistrusting us & Mr. Robot and building that trust back up.