So, I Made A Bird Feeder Out Of A Milk Carton (very Easy, Worth The Google, Will Post Instructions If

Hey the next time you wanna commit a crime and then talk about it, don’t. Rats have connected words relating to homicide to food, and will not only tell all their friends about it, but the random fucker that can UNDERSTAND THEM

Look I’m not a snitch, but I know about way more than I’d like to. Pigeons are chatterbox’s, stray cats will spill for a decent bowl of food and a warm bed, and raccoons will sell you out for a literal corn chip.

Hey, @gothamradiokid could you tell you grandpa to CHILL THE FUCK OUT. I got woken up, at three in the GOD DAMN MORNING because MY NEIGHBOR FUCKED UP, AND HE SENT SOMEONE TO DEAL WITH IT. Tell him to do that at midday or some shit, some of us are sheltering highly reactive new mama dogs, and need at least 30 minutes of sleep.

DO NOT SUPPORT SALVATION ARMY 

future!Nygmobblepot headcanons

Everyone knows they are a couple. It’s a thing. If one of them is arrested the first point of action is figuring out where the other one is.

Oswald starts wearing the top-hat to look taller - which Edward counteracts by starting to wear heels

They go out on dinner dates a lot. Other peoples “dinner and a movie” is their “dinner and armed robbery”

Bickering like an old married couple is standard procedure but the thing that makes people even more uncomfortable is the fact that these arguments will always end with a “because you love me” and extended eye fucking.

Oswald was a little self-concious when he started to gain weight but Edward made it very clear that he does not mind and intends to shoot everyone who does in the knee

While bickering, they’ll still play the “you killed me” and ”you killed my girlfriend” card but at this point the details got a little muddy like, “Are you sure she wasn’t called Isabell? Are you sure Edward?”

Harvey is weirdly happy for them and whenever someone calls him out on it he goes “Someone around here has to have a healthy, stable relationship and since it sure as hell ain’t me or you it might as well be them”

They wouldn’t admit it if anyone asked but they do visit the pier on their anniversary now and then and make some good memories to override the bad ones. Ed always loved the view, after all.

Despite what people may think, they are really good for each other. Oswald reminds Edward to take his medication and calms him down when he’s anxious. Edward rubs Oswalds leg when it hurts and keeps his temper in check.

Jim got an invite for the wedding. As in: Someone put a bag over his head and dragged him to the church where a priest was held at gun point. Oswald welcomed his “old friend” heartily and declared him best man.

So, here’s a fun fact.

Riddler will go out of his way to avoid fucking up the school. Hell, he’s ENCOURAGED us to go to school. So it’s really funny when another villain makes us miss school, because he gets really mad. And its always the new people that do it to. I don’t know if I’m making much sense, so here’s what my classmate heard when they got kidnapped:

“Who you got?”

“Some school boy, I don’t know. He’s dressed all nice like, so his parents are probably rich.”

“Nice knowing you.”

“What?”

“Your making this kid miss class.”

“So?”

*Gunshots*

“Ah, that’d be Riddler.”

Our favorite green question mark was really ready to get in a fist fight with GOD over the disruption of this child’s education.

Don’t even THINK about flirting with me if your not willing to lie to the cops and break me out of jail. Not bail, like some wimp. BREAK.

My phone just closed the 8 safari tabs I had open completely unprompted and I’m going to SCREAM

GUESS WHO GOT A (SORT OF) JOB BITCHES

So I’ve recently started volunteering at my local aviary shelter, doing the more maintenance jobs, like cleaning, washing food bowls and toys, changing light bulbs from time to time, fixing broken appliances, re teaching the owner how to use TikTok, things like that. I also help set up our stands and hand out flyers, and get attention to any of our fundraisers, which we sometimes do because other shelters need help. AND NOBODY THOUGHT TO TELL ME, THAT THE PENGUIN COMES IN REGULARLY . So I’m helping clean up for the night, and get asked “hey, can you stay with me a few more hours. Mya (one of our parrots) is sick, and I could use the extra help with whatever might come up, as she’s supposed to be under constant watch.” I get it, I really do, and I was worried about our sweet Mya just as much as they were, and so I agreed. The lights in the front started flickering, so I go up there to check on it/clean up. BUT GUESS WHO THE FUCK I SAW. THE ARCTIC BIRD HIMSELF, AGAIN. I’m confused thinking “are we getting robbed” when he smiles, waves and asks “not surprised you work here! I assume your helping keep an eye on Mya? Where is she?” I’m still a little baffled, so I just point to the back and he thanks me, meanwhile dialup noises are playing in my head as I try to figure out what the FUCK is goin on. So I go into the back and find him helping watch after Mya.

It’s been two hours. We’ve been sitting here talking about birds the whole time, and at some point the riddler showed up to “pick up his boyfriend” and we’ve started talking about the genetic relationship between vultures and storks

Me and the baseball team are going to metropolis this weekend to spray paint pride flags on lux Luthers tower, who wants to come?

Edit: he doesn’t deserve to have his name spelled correctly. I’ll change it when he starts funding charities.

Was anyone gonna tell me Riddler and Penguin have an animal crossing island or was I just supposed to get scammed by them to find out? Furthermore THEY HAVE THE FULL ART GALLERY