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boundaries talk

hi, i know you're probably sick of this discussion by now, but i have some things i want to clear up after talking with rowl about everything, and i'd appreciate it if you took the time to read and reflect upon it.

some people are of the opinion that, if you keep it private enough, content that goes against someone's boundaries is ok. i disagree, but i'm not here to argue about that, because it isn't a productive thing to argue about. strangers online thinking and talking about you in ways you don't like is uncontrollable and inevitable, and is something that every microcelebrity on the internet has to learn to accept in order to have peace of mind. rowl also agrees that the existence of that sort of thing is unavoidable. however, if you are someone who knowingly chooses to make or engage with content which violates someone's boundaries, then you have a responsibility to not only keep the content away from them, but also to keep yourself away from them. it is extremely dishonest and unfair to build up trust or a bond with someone while actively violating their boundaries in spaces they are unlikely or unable to see. this is the thing that has caused the most distress for rowl. finding out that prominent members of their community were engaging with that kind of content, including people who he considered friends, was extremely upsetting for him. while rowl was and will be trying to avoid people who break his boundaries, it is not his responsibility to avoid those people, it is your responsibility to not be those people. they don't have a psychic power to know that you are betraying his trust and separate themselves from you in advance. either don't do it in the first place, or stay completely away. something about having your cake and eating it too

i understand that not everyone was aware of the harm that they were causing. if people are able to apologize and change their behavior, rowl is willing to give them second chances because he believes that everyone deserves that. but it may take time, and he needs to be sure that they are sincere.

i'd also like to state that, if you knowingly choose to violate my friends' boundaries in the future, then i do not want you to participate in my community either, even if i'm not personally bothered by the content. my friends deserve to feel safe and comfortable in front of my community.

reminder that i don't want to shame or berate anyone who did not mean to hurt anyone - i think you've had enough of that from people on twitter who are unrelated to the situation. i just want to help you to learn from your mistakes, and grow as a person.

oh also i'm going to leave the ask button on over here. i really value clarity, so please feel free to use it to ask me about anything you're unsure about, whenever you like. ill probably check it about once a week. cya <3

-beefsalad

rowl stream w mongey chilling in call peace is restored to the world

welcome to mcsr

37kg of cocaine 🦭

infumeMeow...

infume is REALLY cute but like . hes just a lil hater tho

What's everyone's fave new song(s) so far this year?

thank you for the penguins in these trying times ly tins mwah

yw <33

ranked playoffs edit :D

EYESTRAIN WARNING!!!!

original under the cut

putting this on the tumblr too