Ritsu Sakuma Is Indeed Your Angel. Song Recommended To Play While Reading ; ‘dream’ By Suzy, Baekhyun.

✦ — 18. CLOSURE

dream flashbacks have always irritated you. because waking up after having one typically leaves you with the same exact feeling of pain as when you initially had it. the pain you felt when he chose to let go, in this circumstance.

heaving as you sit upright with dried tears staining your cheeks, you wake up in your all too familiar bedroom, alone.

then, the hangover kicks in.

"ah!" you hunch over and hold your forehead in pain. you feel nauseated, but it's bearable.

you spend the next few minutes whimpering to yourself as you feel your head spin inside your skull.

you don't hear the bedroom door open or the footsteps approaching.

"drink this." slim hands place a tray of water and some meds on the bedside table.

your head snaps up almost immediately after hearing the voice. this causes your head to throb more.

a sigh. "take it easy."

while trying to recover from the pain, you speak meekly, "ano ginagawa mo rito?"

he took a while to respond, "i drove you home after the party," he says. "and before you start jumping to conclusions, walang nangyari," he adds quickly.

ah, right. nag-inuman nga pala kagabi.

you hide a scoff. you hate how well he still knows you after all this time.

bits and pieces of last night come back to you. the disco lights, music, dance floor, kazuha's stunt, the confrontation, passing out... after that, you have no recollection of anything.

"that doesn't answer my question. bakit ka nandito?" in front of me, is what you implied.

as he looks at you, he has an indescribable expression on his face.

“drink first," he says, gesturing towards the tray.

as much as it infuriates you that he's bossing you around in your own house, you really need to do something about the headache, so you silently take the medicine.

as you drink down the water, several things go through your mind. your pulse beats quicker as you consider all the things he may say in the next few minutes. it’s most likely the one thing you’ve been asking him for the past year.

placing the tray back on the bedside table, you take a deep breath and look him in the eye. he's been observing you carefully ever since he entered the room.

"feel better?" he asks.

"get to the point, de vera," you command.

"right." he sucks in a breath, as if nervous, but it doesn't show on his face. "an explanation," he mutters.

you let out a humorless laugh, waiting for him to say anything. you try your hardest to make it seem like you're uninterested in what he has to say, making a show of not caring anymore, but you know deep inside that it's all in vain. you do care, and it shows.

he looks at you straight in the eye, serious and determined. he takes his time thinking of the proper words to say and where to start. you keep your silence the whole time.

"last year," he begins. "my sister was diagnosed with a severe vascular condition that needed operation. a high risk one," he reveals.

audibly gasping at this revelation, you reflexively inch closer to him in surprise.

“ano? si ate ei? bakit wala akong narinig tungkol dito? walang sinabi si miko?" you search his eyes for signs of lying or mirth, but you see none.

he sighs, "it was something we agreed not to disclose to anyone except close family."

ah. that hurts. “eh si jax?”

kuni nods silently, guilt flashing in his eyes.

he told jax but not you.

"seems like people love to keep things from me," you dryly state.

"don't be mad at them. ako nagpilit sa kanila na itago sa'yo."

"bakit?"

"...we'll get to that," he says.

"kamusta na si ate?" his sister was usually busy, so you weren't as close to ei as you are to miko, but she accepted you warmly when he introduced you to her and has even offered assistance in the past. you genuinely regret not being there to support her when she needed it.

"there were some complications during the surgery, pero okay na siya ngayon. she fully healed and is back to work," he explains.

you sigh in relief, "that's good." he hums in agreement.

with the initial worry and surprise gone, questions flood your head. "ano kinalaman ng lahat na 'to sa ginawa mo?"

so his sister got sick and decided that you weren’t a priority anymore and discarded you with no explanation whatsoever?

"you know our situation, don't you? we have no parents, si ate lang nagtratrabaho para sa'ming dalawa. then, she suddenly got sick."

"and?”

kuni swipes his hair back and lets out a breath, "we struggled financially trying to pay the hospital bills, along with other expenses. tumulong si ate miko, pero kulang. i had to catch all the responsibility and took on multiple jobs."

late replies, missed calls, cancelled plans, stood up dates— "that's why i saw you less."

"that's why you saw me less," he repeats regretfully.

it still doesn't make sense to you. "why would you keep something like that from me?" you could've supported him. you would've supported him.

you'd have understood where he came from.

did he not trust you?

"i..." kuni falls silent. hesitant. he had an honest reason for everything that had transpired then. but he's done. he no longer has a clear justification for doing those things and leaving you hanging. it was all due of his cowardice.

"i didn't want you to see me in such a state," he admits.

you suck in a breath, feeling your eyes burn. "that’s stupid. that doesn't make sense."

"i know," he agrees. "i know, [name]. pero alam kong 'pag nakita mo akong ganon, gagawin mo ring problema 'yon—"

"of course i would’ve! nag-iisip ka ba? kuni, i loved you. sino ba'ng 'di tutulong 'pag nakikita mong naghihirap yung taong mahal mo?" you reason out. tears start to well up in your eyes.

"i didn't want you to get caught up in my problems. you already had many of your own then, [name]."

bullshit.

"yet you added to it? even with your reason, you still could've told me!” you throw your arms up in frustration. “at least i would've understood what happened. hindi yung ako lang naiiwan na walang alam! was i not that important to you?" you sniff, aggressively, wiping your tears away.

kuni gently holds your arm to prevent you from hurting yourself. "that's not it. you are important. hindi ko alam anong iniisip ko noon."

are.

you scoff.

"that's why i'm sorry, [name]," he apologizes. he keeps your hand in place and draws circles on it with his thumb. "my reasons are stupid, i know. i had multiple opportunities to tell you the truth pero naduwag ako. in every single one."

silent tears continue to stream down your face. you scold yourself internally for letting down your guard in front of him.

you stay quiet.

"it's not that easy to forgive, i know that more than anyone. and i don't expect you to," he admits. "but i want to make it up to you, even if you don't want me to."

you stare at your bed sheets, silently contemplating on his words. if there's one word to describe your current state of mind, it's confused. it takes you a moment to respond.

"hindi ko pa alam kung ano ba dapat isipin ko." you sniff and glare at him through tearful eyes. "right now, i just don't want to see your face."

"…understood," kuni nods. he lets go of your hand and stands up from his seat. before he starts walking out of the door, he turns to you, pursing his lips. "may pagkain sa hapag. eat it before it gets cold, alright?"

he doesn't wait for your answer and exits out of the bedroom door. leaving you all alone, still clutching your healing heart.

you got the explanation that you wanted, the closure that was way overdue.

but why is it that it only made you yearn for him more?

✦ MAYBE, MAYBE — PREV / MASTERLIST / NEXT

A break up with no proper closure. So many words left unsaid. He did you so wrong, but you can’t bring yourself to hate him. One year na, siya pa rin. Maybe it’s time to move on?

NOTE long time no update haha i apologize we were bombarded with tasks for the past two weeks, kahit ngayon nga T--T i got stuck with this chapter lang coz it's a written one and i didn't have time to finish it. i hate that this chapter’s quality is a little bit ehh since it’s rushed but it’ll do. i’m burnt out rn so it’s gonna take me a while to recover. since the next few chaps are gonna be socmed lang, hopefully updates will be more frequent 🤞

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“teach me”

“no”

“why not?!”

“because i don’t want to”

sae stares blanky at your frustrated face (he thinks it’s cute but he’d rather be buried alive than to admit it out loud) through his phone screen. you were asking him to teach you some spanish just for funsies but sae being sae, he doesn’t want to cooperate

“then, let me at least hear you speak some sentences, please?” you try to bargain, pulling the puppy eyes on him. you’ve watched multiple clips of his interviews in the past where he spoke a little bit of spanish and you wanted to hear it when he’s talking to you.

to your surprise (not) sae just rolls his eyes as his response, earning a little huff from you

“you know what sae, nevermind” you say in defeat. putting your hands up in front of the camera to show that you’ve surrendered into trying to make sae say something in spanish. your attention is no longer at the stoic boy, but on twitter, tiktok, instagram, you name it, your attention was probably there. if he’s not gonna cooperate then fine. two can play this game

sae noticed that you suddenly went quiet on him. he calls out your name but you don’t budge. that only meant one thing. you were ignoring him.

you hear sae sigh at the other end. before you can ask him what his problem was, he clears his throat,

“te amo cada día más y te amare pase lo que pase”

you swear you felt like you just entered the gates of heaven with the way the words smoothly rolls out of his tongue like honey.

“happy now?” you can hear the bluntness in his voice. “and open your camera, tch” he clicks his tongue in annoyance. you hurriedly opened your camera once again to see sae’s face once again but with a faint blush on his cheeks. you instantly took a screenshot which sent a notification on sae’s end causing the latter to raise his brows in confusion.

“what’s with the big smile on your face?” sae asks, adjusting his pillow behind him, watching you smile like an idiot. (his idiot)

“because you spoke in spanish” you gush, smiling uncontrollably at your boyfriend. sae snickers before gazing at you lovingly.

“did you even understand what i just said?”

“nope, but i know it was probably something romantic” you wiggle your eyebrows at sae who only smiles at your reaction. you can see his whisker dimples poking through, a tell tale sign that he was genuinely smiling. a rare sight to see.

“so, are you gonna tell me what you just said?”

“no”

“sae!”

♡ SLEEPING ON THE COUCH AFTER AN ARGUMENT

ft. isagi yoichi, kunigami rensuke, nagi seishiro, mikage reo, itoshi rin

ISAGI YOICHI

it had been a stressful practice for him. nothing seemed to go his way and to top it all off, you were annoyed at him for not cleaning up after himself in the kitchen. if it would have been a normal day, he would apologize and make up for it, but today he was in a complete different mood and snapped. he began to ramble about that he never seems to do anything right and yelled at you before locking himself in the bathroom to take a shower.

now, you’re on the couch, trying your best to fall asleep as he still seemed to be frustrated as he marched into the bedroom to sleep. so to not cause a bigger scene and to allow him to calm down, you decided that it was best to be in a different room throughout the night. you weren’t particularly mad at him, he was having a tough day and even though you didn’t enjoy the way he yelled at you, it was difficult to be mad at him.

“baby,” suddenly, his voice can be heard from behind you. isagi’s voice is soft and quiet as he speaks, a complete turnaround to how he spoke only a few hours ago. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry that i took my anger out on you. i shouldn’t have yelled at you,” his voice seems to break in the middle of his sentence and you turn around when he stops talking.

isagi is standing by the doorway to the bedroom, only with a pair of sweatpants on. he’s fiddling with his hands, waiting for you to say something. “it’s okay, i understand,” you say and as soon as you tell him that, he’s quick to stride towards the couch and lean down to wrap his arms around your waist. you begin to sit up and pull him onto the couch so the two of you can be closer to one another. “i’m sorry, i love you so much. i’ll never yell at you like that again,” he hides his face in the crook of your neck, breathing shakily. “it’s okay, yoichi, you don’t have to worry. i love you.”

KUNIGAMI RENSUKE

he has been practicing football lately, not only with his team but also alone during his free time which has lead to him not having as much time with you and becoming much more tired than he was before. after you tried your best to tell him that he should take a day off and just rest since you’re becoming worried, he had nothing else to say than how annoying you were for treating him like a child and that he can take care of himself.

but now as you’re beginning to walk out of the bedroom to sleep on the couch instead of laying down beside him, he grabs your wrist in an instant. “where are you going?” he asks. you look back at him and sigh, but his eyes are brimming up with tears which hurts your heart more than you thought it would, especially after he had yelled at you earlier about finding you annoying. “i’m so fucking sorry for what i said earlier, i didn’t mean what i said, i swear. i love that you always look after me and you’re right, i should take a day off because i’m so tired. i’m really tired and i don’t know what to do because the tiredness never goes away. i’m just so exhausted and i am so sorry for what i said earlier. i shouldn’t have yelled and i shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

before he can say anything else, you sit down at the edge of the bed and wrap your arms around neck. kunigami quickly pulls you into his arms and allows himself to sob against your shoulder. he continues to whisper quiet sorry’s and holds onto you as if you’d slip out of his arms if he didn’t. “shh, i’m here. it’s okay, you’ll be okay,” you whisper before pressing a kiss to his wet temple. “i don’t find you annoying, i promise,” he croaks and you nod. “i know, don’t worry.”

“you’ll sleep here, right? not anywhere else,” he asks and you pull away a little to cup his wet cheeks. “i’ll sleep here,” you send him a light smile. “just try to get some more rest tomorrow, okay? we can cuddle all morning if you want to and i’ll cook you breakfast, then we can just spend the rest of the day in bed if you want,” kunigami nods and leans his forehead against yours. “i’d love that.”

NAGI SEISHIRO

he wasn’t sure as to why you became so annoyed with him paying more attention to his games than you, he didn’t realize that was even the case until you mentioned it to him after he had denied your request to go to your favorite cafe for the fifth time this week. it ended up with you two getting into an argument and after he had told you that you were a pain, you’d left the room, leaving him alone to regret every single word he had just said to you.

his heart slowly began to shatter when he realized that you weren’t coming to bed. he had seen you on the couch in the living room, but thought you were just watching your favorite tv-show and that you’d come and sleep beside him. that doesn’t seem to be the case as it’s way past midnight and he can’t fall asleep without you in his arms.

instead of staying there, twisting and turning all alone, he gets out of bed and walks into the living room where you’re laying. there’s a thin blanket draped over your body and you aren’t even sleeping with a pillow under your head. nagi sighs at the sight and walks closer to you so he can see if you’re actually sleeping or if you’re just playing with him. what he sees is much worse than he thought. there’s dried tears on your cheeks, you’ve been crying and it’s most likely his fault. his words probably ripped you apart more than he thought and the thought of you believing that he meant what he said makes him want to cry right then and there.

suddenly, your eyes fly open and they immediately catch him standing over the couch with a comforter around him. “sei?” you mumble and he immediately plops down on top of you, making the blanket over you drop to the floor and covering you with his body and comforter. “you’re not a pain, i don’t know where it even came from. you mean so much to me,” nagi lays his head on your chest and sighs. “i’m sorry for saying that and for not paying attention to you. i’ll do better, i promise. i’ll give you more attention.”

you reach your hand up to his hair and brush through some strands of it. “i know you love playing games and i don’t want you to stop doing that, it just hurts sometimes when you seem to love them more than me. maybe it’s selfish of me and i don’t want to be a pain-“ “you’re not a pain, i didn’t mean that, okay? don’t ever think i would ever think of you like that. also, i love games, but i love you so much more than them. i promise that i’ll be with you more and if you want, i can teach you how to play some of the games. i love to be with you,” he says and you giggle by hearing his words which makes him smile. “that sounds nice, thank you, sei.”

MIKAGE REO

you barely even remember why the two of you began to fight in the first place. it went from such a simple thing as forgetting to start the washing machine to suddenly coming up with everything wrong about the other person. most things the two of you told each other didn’t have meaning to it, they were just meaningless words, but the words he said did hurt you and the words you said hurt him as well.

instead of resolving it, you left him alone in the bedroom to sleep on the couch by yourself. you thought it would be easy to fall asleep alone, but after sleeping in his embrace for the past few months, suddenly not being around him before sleep makes it a lot more difficult and as if on cue, your boyfriend is now sitting on the edge of the couch while stroking your arm comfortingly.

“come to bed, sweetheart. you won’t get any sleep if you’re out here all night,” he whispers sweetly. “i’m sorry for everything i said. i didn’t mean any of it and i don’t even understand how we began to fight like that in the first place, i just know that i’m really sorry for hurting you. i don’t want to go to sleep without you and i want to resolve this as soon as we wake up, but for now, come to bed, please.”

you look up at him with glassy eyes and slowly begin to sit up so you can put your arms around him. he sneaks his arms around your waist and pulls you close to his chest before taking your scent in. “i’m sorry too, reo. i’m sorry for hurting you,” you mumble as he lifts you up from the couch and carries you all the way to the bedroom. “it’s alright, love. we both said stupid things we didn’t mean, so let’s go to sleep together and talk more about this in the morning,” reo lays you down on the bed and crawls under the covers right next to you before pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead. “we’re okay, we’ll always be okay.”

ITOSHI RIN

he sighs as he walks out the bedroom to see you on the couch without a single blanket draped over you. the fact that you would rather sleep alone on the couch in the cold instead of being in bed with him hurts his heart, but he decides to try and not think about it and instead begins to look for a blanket he can put over you.

the fight the two of you had wasn’t too bad, but he was clearly mad during the argument, not particularly mad at you but just in general which is why you thought it would be a good idea to let him calm down by himself. unbeknownst to you, itoshi rin cannot fall asleep without you by his side. it becomes even more difficult when he knows that you’re sleeping apart without having solved anything from earlier. he never got to tell you that he isn’t mad at you and that he only took his anger out on you which he shouldn’t have. but he knows that he can’t wake you up only to tell you that.

rin finds a blanket in the bedroom that he brings into the living room and puts over your cold and shivering body. he also puts a pillow under your head to bring you some more comfort and thereafter walk over to the the other side of the couch were you aren’t laying. he sits down there and sighs, maybe it’ll be easier for him to sleep in such an uncomfortable position, as long as he’s in the same room as you are. at least it’ll bring him more warmth than laying in bed alone does.

he closes his eyes and leans back against the cushion. meanwhile, you begin to shift where you’re laying and open your eyes to be met by the darkness of the room. you slowly begin to sit up a little and look straight forward where rin is sitting uncomfortably. he begins to open his eyes too when he hears you moving around and your gazes meet through the dark

you now begin to crawl towards him and he opens up his arms for you to fall into his warm embrace. he lays down on his back and wraps his arms around your waist to pull you as close as possible. he presses a kiss to the crown of your head and moves one hand up to your hair. “i was never mad at you, it was just a tiring day and i shouldn’t have taken everything out on you,” rin whispers and you look up at him, making his heart jump. “i know, i’ll try to make sure i leave you alone earlier next time,” you say but it only makes him frown.

“it isn’t your fault, you know. i should be better at keeping my emotions in check. if i’m ever that mad when i get home again, i’ll try to tell you about it instead of taking it out on you,” a smile begins to pull at his lips as you kiss his cheek. “okay, that sounds good. it’s nice to be in your arms again, i love you a lot.” “i love you more.”

where the fuck did all smau writers last yr august-december go.. pls im rotting in ur taglist imy

drew a horribly inaccurate ritsu on the whiteboard but wasn't able to finish it bc the teacher was coming😓

its my birthday oh my jesus what the flippy flop im still existing no way

Hello bee ! May I ask for headcanons of keito with a g/n s/o whose a workaholic too? Thank you so much and good luck ! Sending in a lot of hugs (๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧

hiii mio !!!! ofc u may it is No Trouble At All 🤲🤲 it's been a hot minute since i wrote for keito so i'm sorry if my characterization is a little wonky ... but i do hope u enjoy !!! ♡

❧ keito with a workaholic partner

content warnings: none

❧ you two make a real pair, don't you? yours and keito's habits aren't exactly perfect mirrors of each other, but your similarities are obvious enough that it's little wonder to onlookers how you've gotten so close to begin with. that's not to say that it's the only reason, of course — it's just one of the many things he admires about you. ♡

❧ despite his own workaholic tendencies, keito still likes to remind you not to overwork yourself. his little reminders are firm but kind, just the slightest crease between his brows as he knocks on your door and calls for you, "dear, i think that's enough for one night."

❧ since it's not uncommon for you two to extend your work hours a fair bit, he's turned it into a habit to keep you company while you both work. you don't even have to talk at all if you don't want to — just being near you is more than enough. in rare moments of oversight, keito even finds himself losing track of time while working with you, with how much smoother everything seems to go by.

❧ once you've both finished for the night, keito enjoys winding down with you the most — maybe he'll take you out for a walk to get some fresh air, or maybe he'll brew some tea for you both, instead. at least, this way, he can devote all his attention to you and you alone.

Cw: yandere, suggestive (for Kaiser)

I found out these wonderful yan bllck drawings and felt compelled to translate them (to the best of my abilities) and share them. The original artist is zunko_2225 on Twitter, they have a lovely artstyle and I recommend checking them out!

P.S: Kaiser's "get ready for fucking" likely meant "fucking prepare yourself" but my thirst for this man was happier with the first version, even if the second one is enough to make me weak on my knees

Reblog and tag the person you reblogged this from with what kind of magic you think they’d perform. Ex. Fire magic, ice magic, Necromancy, etc

¡! ❝ REDAMANCY .. ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [21] mstching ❞ | m. list | prev. | next

natsume sakasaki x reader smau

warning(s) : cussing; “i hope u die”, kys, HA GAY & rei gets called an old man once (1 time)

╰┈➤ synopsis ❝after yumenosaki academy resident magician and eccentric sakasaki natsume asks you to “go out with him”, you immediately shut him down. so why is he dedicating a song to you at a switch concert? and why are people whispering about you being the cutest couple?❞

ੈ✩₊˚TAGLIST : @myunghology@shionszz@ikasaeki@zephestia@1072v@drihihihi@homonatsume@lialibrary@hugs4shizu@mikctp@emikoisdead@ara-arashi@disa-ster@tjjjrsj@solemn-soliloquy@bxkugzo@buns-inhiding@calxrein@gxwesn@eichiburger@valeriele3@444neapolitain@theloverofscaramouchie@thelocal-idiot@lunalightlyy@promisedswords@gabirii@booklover-valkyriep@mahouwoageru@kazemiya@kokomiscanonlover@engurishu // ask/comment to be added/removed! (if you’re in bold i can’t tag you)